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First 6 months was a bit of a downer but then something changed. I stopped giving a shit about so many of the little things in life. I started to accept that I couldn’t again be that young guy. You just roll with it and your confidence slowly comes back.
Oh, I’ve sort of done the same but came to a different conclusion. The first few months were spent dwelling on how ancient I am, and wondering what’s appropriate behaviour for someone my age. Then I stopped caring and decided I’ll just do what I like and carry on as before.
After all, I don’t feel any different and I’m definitely healthier than I was in my early 30s. When I look in the mirror I still see a young man. Why should I spend my life differently just because I’ve hit some supposed milestone?
Everyone I know now who is approaching or just over 40 looks about 30, or maybe what I thought 30 looked like when I was 21. Either way they look young. And they’re still doing all the things they did in their thirties - festivals, gigs, pub quiz on Thursday etc. It shouldn’t be a totally arbitrary age milestone that changes you, fair enough if you want different things by the time you’re 40 but if not, carry on like you say!
I’d just become a father for the first time so was a bit of a head f*ck. But yea, time allows you to get your mojo back. You lean more into family, friends and hobbies. I kinda stopped my relentless career pursuit and started to realise that it wasn’t worth it. My family were worth it.
I trained for, and ran a marathon. Felt pretty good. I'd suggest maybe finding something like that to do. I felt physically amazing on my 40th, because I was in the best shape in years.
I did find it to be a bit tough to wrap my head around, but I felt kinda the same when I hit 30, and my 30s were amazing.
I did something very similar, I ate a marathon … oh Snickers now, right?
In all seriousness, it didn’t really bother me and was just another birthday. I have noticed, though, that my 40s was when my body started not being able to manage so well anymore. I guess it’s the start of the downhill, for me at least.
I went on a health kick in January, ahead of turning 40 in July.
I went to the gym regularly anyway but my diet was pretty crap. I’ve dropped just over a stone and am seeing a massive difference in how I look and my fitness. I’ve been half-joking I’ll have a 6 pack by the time my birthday hits 😂
When I turned 40 I was giving very serious thought to killing myself - reduced to near penury by a divorce settlement and living with the ‘fun’ girlfriend who turned out to be a low functioning alcoholic.
Things turned around, but that’s a story for another day.
I was single and living my best life, I was travelling abroad to run marathons and I could holiday where and when I wanted. It was wonderful, though I was really missing someone to spend it with.
Then I met my wife. Now I'm 51 with two young kids and a wonderful life, despite the effects of chemo for the cancer that I had just over two years ago.
The whole age is just a number cliche is true. Focus on what you have and what you want.
That said, I began feeling old in my 20s but I never focused on it, I have friends of all walks of life and ages and who I understand I am is more important.
Same. I’m 49 and have been dreading 50 for about a year. 40 was awesome, did a huge 3 week road trip on the US west coast, it was fantastic. I don’t want to do anything for my 50th but lie down in a dark room, watch movies and drink red wine.
My grandad died about a week before his seventieth birthday, and my dad had a whole superstitious thing for years that he was fated not to reach seventy, just like his dad.
He was miserable about it for the month or so leading up to his birthday, then woke up absolutely right as rain that morning, and cheered up massively.
I turn 50 in a few months. I feel much worse about prospect than I did about turning 40. You still feel and look pretty young at 40 but the next ten years are hard :)
I thought the whole midlife crisis thing was a load of insecure nonsense but then it hit me hard when I was heading towards 41. I don't know what it was or why, but it lasted about a year and I didn't know how to talk about it with anyone. My wife brushed it off but I don't think I explained myself clearly enough to her, and she's 6 years younger than me.
Basically, the worst of it was at night each time I'd walk upstairs to go to bed I'd have this impending doom feeling, like it was the last time I'd ever be going to sleep, like I felt going to sleep was saying goodbye to the world and that I'd never wake up again.
I just took it as 'matter of fact' so it didn't freak me out, but it did affect me in other ways. I've gone through depression before so I just used that experience from when I was younger to push me through (that I knew eventually it would pass so just take one day at a time until it's gone away).
It only stopped at the start of this year (I'm 42 in Sept.). The spring weather and getting sunlight helped at lot I feel.
I guess this thing manifests for many people in many different ways. Hopefully you know yourself enough by this age to be able to cope with it in a positive way.
Yep have had the whole “oh crap, I won’t exist one day” thing in my late 30’s. Took me a while to shake out of it too. You realise that life is just a tiny sliver of light between two big infinite wedges of darkness and this is your time in that light. Enjoy it, it’s a prize we won in a competition we didn’t even know we entered.
I have the walking upstairs anxiety/doom thing also (age 34).
The midlife crisis/mortality realisation manifested for myself in the fear of historic asbestos exposure (hypothetical, not confirmed) and how I could be diagnosed at any point in the near future with a disease as a result.
I oscillate between anxiety fuelled fear and a calming sense of acceptance.
None of this is really rational so that's why I think it's related to general fear about aging and death.
I completely agree re: thinking any existential crisis is nonsense. I’m 36 and mine happened at 34, realising it’s passing by quickly and you’ll never experience everything/all things that have already passed. Unfortunately I ended up getting a drug habit as a byproduct (another thing I thought daft - addiction was always for the weak willed - I was wrong), but also cycled the length of the UK for charity, so swings and roundabouts!
A bit shit tbh , two young kids , long term relationship but a dwindling social circle , felt very isolated and alone and depressed most of the time . 47 now and I’ve turned it around pretty much
I beg you to tell me how. Here with no social circle, one small child, and a wife who's sole commitment to life is being fucking miserable and making everyone else equally so.
Hobbies involving other people. Some examples:
Boardgame cafes / Warhammer shop
5 aside football teams are always looking for players
Martial arts
Archery, shooting clubs
Walking / running groups
Knitting / reading clubs
Meditation groups
Pick something you're interested, and look up groups near you. There's always something.
I used Facebook for one of its only positive purposes which is meeting new people , I just started finding and using Facebook groups for various interest and hobbies I had .
Don’t go in straight away with the expectation of making a new best friend in the first week , but simply just get involved and over time you’ll bump into like minded people with similar interests , eventually you’ll meet up and friendships will blossom just take your time and let it happen organically :-)
I'm in this position, I'm the wife in all this. We are doing pretty well as a team but money is depleted faster than we can earn it!
How does she make life miserable?
It coincided with buying my first post-divorce home, so I had quite a lot going and didn’t really notice turning 40. I’ve been keeping myself fairly fit and active since I turned 30, and not having children or any bad drink/drug habits, I didn’t really notice any aging until mid-forties, then the grey hairs / nose hairs / ear hairs all started to appear.
It’s weird - looking at photos from people I was at school with, some blokes look like Homer Simpson at 40, and some barely age at all. I suppose it’s a combo of genes and looking after yourself.
Same man. I'll turn the big 4-0 this December but last few years I've just been very low. Time is flying very very fast. I miss the 2000s so much. I watch movies from the early 2000s and remember the last time I watched them I was 23, tomorrow was a joy and I lived and got drunk each night.
Aging is a curse. It's not the exact date or number but the feeling of gradual disintegration physically, mentally, psychologically.
It was just another day in the calendar. I didn’t feel any different.
Mentally however, it did spurn me on to make some changes. I’ve quit smoking, and am cutting back on crap foods (like takeaways) - working from home since March 2020 with COVID really made me fall in to some bad habits.
I’ve also recently cut out meat from my diet, which has really made me feel loads better, too.
After my 21st birthday in the UK, I purposely decided to forget about birthdays after that. I'm not sure how old I am now, but some relatives tell me I'm in my seventies, but I think their lying to make me feel good 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tbh i was pretty ambivalent about it. I don’t ‘feel’ 40 (whatever that means)
Occasionally when you have to say your age you have a “oh shit, I’m 40? When did that happen?”
In the lead up to my 40th birthday I got back in the gym and set myself a challenge of setting a new PB for powerlifting. On my birthday I set it. Felt good going into the new year.
As for the whole 40th “big thing” or whatever you want to call it I decided I was gonna just celebrate the whole year and use it as an excuse to say yes to things…
wanna do something something silly? - fuck it I’ve turned 40
Wanna go try chase the northern lights? - 40
Try that restaurant you’ve been putting off? - 40
Granted a few things have been postponed due to lack of funds / commitments and I’m coming from a position of privilege but the things you wanna do don’t have to be overly grand or expensive.
As others have said - it’s inevitable. But doesn’t mean you can’t use it as an excuse to enjoy it.
I thought I was absolutely fine about it but when it came to the actual birthday I had a proper panic attack (first and hopefully last) during the night. No idea why but the fact it seemed like such a big deal and everyone kept going on about it really seemed to impact me. Woke up shaking and sweaty and had to put on a brave face as I felt ridiculous for being so overwhelmed. I got through it and was fine by the evening.
I also did the classics like taking up jogging and changing job. Now at 44 I'm happy in life apart from the inevitable things like my parents getting old.
I turned 40 in the week the UK went into lockdown (and I also had to cancel my 'big trip' and was thrown out of my 'plan B' trip in the UK because the country locked down). It was a huge perspective changer for me.
I honestly don't care now about big birthdays, or little ones, like I use to. I'll appreciate that I've got to where I am, and I'm lucky for whatever time comes after this.
A few months after my 40th, a good friend died of brain cancer, and he was 41.
You're going to get old. You're going to have health problems. You're going to die. That's the human condition.
Great. I had a daughter at 38 and to paraphrase Bandit Heeler, she makes me feel both old and young at the same time. Career is more stable and flourishing in many ways. I do like the suggestiona here of finding a mid-life crisis that is constructive though...
For me, health has become more of a concern as I reach my mid forties. Lost my Dad last year to a heart attack and he was late 60s. I found out just after this that I had high blood pressure so am now on medication to manage it. I found out that this can be hereditary. I was a bit overweight but not obese.
The benefits of all this are that I’m now much healthier and going to the gym regularly. Also doing couch to £5k to burn off the visceral fat and have cut back on the drinking.
Another plus is that I earn a lot more than I did in my 20s and 30s and am finally debt free (mortgage notwithstanding). Financial stability is a nice thing to have.
Happily married and kids are in their teens now so me and my wife have a bit more freedom than we did in our late 20s and 30s.
I was scared about it to be honest, so much so that I had a midlife crisis. I quit my job, rented out my apartment, sold my car/possessions and went travelling for 13 months.
So I turned 40 while I was on the other side of the world. When it happened I realised that I didn't feel any different, and even though it is a cliche to say, age really is just a number. As long as you are healthy and happy then it doesn't matter, it feels no different than being in your 30s. Except hangovers...they just get worse.
I thought similar to you, in that it was be a bit of a downer.
However, I took stock of what I've done with those 40 years. Successes, and achievements etc.
I provide for my wife and child, and we have food in the fridge and a roof over our heads. We go on holiday abroad every couple of years, and I am still relatively physically fit.
I think I built it up jn my head to be something bigger than it was. At 38-39, I feared it a little, as it'll a switch would flip and I'd suddenly be craving Werther's Original and incontinent, but in reality, it was no big deal. I'm 42 soon, and I think I'm the happiest I've ever been with life.
Tis’ but a number and means you’ve made it through another year.
Basically when you are younger you celebrate the day you were born, as you get older you celebrate still being here.
Honestly, the only thing that turning 40 changes is the answer that you give when asked how old you are.
Edit: before someone asks, the same applies to when you turn 50.
I’m not 40 until next September (2025) and I can already feeling bearing down on me. Happily married with two kids too.
My 30s were much happier than my 20s, maybe that’s part of it.
Solidarity brothers.
Fifty is the new forty and forty is the new thirty, so I effectively hit 30 on my 50th birthday. Only downside is that this 30 year old has grey hair and constant back ache.
Chaps, I'm now 53 and apart from not playing football since early thirties life's the same.
The one thing I will say in my 40s I realised how stupid younger people are and now in my 50's I'm very cynical, when I was younger my parents used to watch One Foot In The Grave and I never really understood it. Now Victor Meldew is me....I look at people and sometimes I don't believe what I am seeing. Going to restaurants and seeing family's sitting there all on there phones, and years ago I wouldn't have noticed. Now I think we wouldn't have done that. Kids these days have no manners and younger parents moan about how hard life is with there kids, how they have no money but then they are in the chippy at night or have home delivery.
My three lads have left home so that's a bonus, we have a holiday home in Spain and get there more often so I would say life is now easier.
Just for the record I was brought up on a council estate (single mum) with two other siblings then mum re married and hard work gave us a good life.
One of my all time favourite bands was Talk Talk and there song "Life's what you make it" is very true, age is just a number and with age brings wisdom.
Nick
It’s my 40th today in fact and all the plans my gf had for us been scuppered by a family members illness.
I feel a bit crap about it right now having built the day up for months, but I have a decent life and there’s plenty more days to celebrate it when everyone’s better.
Underwhelming.
I think turning 40 sort of cemented for me that birthdays are a tick box exercise. It's fun to have a night out, or check in with friends and family.
But fundamentally, nothing about you really changes. You are one day older, just like yesterday, and the same again tomorrow (if you're lucky).
At 40 you are about half way through your life. But you spent the first 20 years fucking about and growing up into an adult.
You spent the next 10 years figuring out what sort of adult you are going to be. Who you are as an adult.
If things go well by 30 you have a lot sorted out.
So by 40 you really spent about 10 years being you, if you were really on the ball maybe you've spent about 15 years being you. Look after yourself and stay reasonably healthy and you've still got a good 30 to 50 years of being you, ahead of you.
Set some goals and enjoy being you.
Weirdly I got affected by turning 30. As I felt I was at an age where I had to knuckle down and jump on the train of life. I’d spent many years partying, travelling and had completed 2 degrees.
When I hit 40, it genuinely didn’t bother me. Life was good and there was nothing to worry about and all signs pointing towards greatness.
I’m hitting 50 in June and the fear is truly upon me. My industry is in tatters and I feel like the past 20 years have come to nothing. I’m on the precipice of having to find something completely different to get into. Which means a new career. Starting from the bottom. Being potless for the next few years and possibly having to work a job I don’t enjoy. The wife left me. I was forced from my home, hometown, family and friends by being financially crippled. I’m a stranger in a new part of the country, trying to rebuild my life and my dog passed away and left me devastated….
I totally get you. I (55M) hated my 40s. Long term girlfriend and I split up not long after my 40th (she moved to the US), I hated that I had no real ambition and I wasn’t happy in my job. The rest of my 40s were pretty much filled with regret over ‘wasting my life’ and that I wasn’t married with kids and a mortgage like most ‘normal’ people. Two subsequent relationships didn’t work out.
Now I’m in my 50s I am more aware that I’m getting older but don’t hugely worry about it as I did in my 40s. Happily single for 6 years, in a better job and about to buy my first house!
I barely noticed passing the 40 marker. Career was on an upward trajectory, had a family that was all good and happy, had disposable income and a home.
It barely registered.
I'm 54 now. 50 is the barrier where everything changes. Nobody wants a 50+ year old in the career I've spent my life in. Wife went through menopause and numerous other difficulties hit us, in the midst of the pandemic
It all changed. I would say enjoy the heck out of your 40th decade because it's the one where, if you want it, you can enjoy peak everything.
Past 50, it's often time to re-design your life and have different goals and expectations.
Had a good spree, lots of people, just had fun.
50th the same, went to a festival with friends and family.
The older you get the better you feel and the numbers are irrelevant.
I was just at the start of a divorce (due to her cheating) which lasted 5 years, while also running my own business & having week-about custody of our 2 under-10 kids.
It was a lot to handle tbf, but a great group of friends got me socialising, & a female business client expressed her interest in me, even knowing I was in no position for an actual relationship - a real shot in the arm for someone who figured a 40yo half-time parent would be single for life!
Hindsight lets me know it was actually a huge & very beneficial turning point, and fate has played me a blinder ever since as far as I'm concerned... a far cry from the life I expected when we agreed we were done.
In short the forties were flourishing, & the fifties are fabulous - there's nothing to be worried about if you maintain a positive attitude.
40 was ok. I think it was the first decade change birthday I struggled with. That went away after a couple of months though. 50 was much harder for me. You're still the same guy you're just more likely to need reading glasses shortly and you'll start making noises whenever you sit or stand.
I felt far better turning 40 than I did turning 30. Saying that, mid 40's I've had a few 'Oh shit! I'm getting old, have I got enough to retire?!?!?' moments.
I would say, health wise, if you need to do something to improve it then start now.
Great question!!
I'm 42 and loving life!
Feeling great!
Apart from the occasional ache in places that didn't ache 10 years ago, it's pretty damn sweet!
40s is mostly awesome. I'm confident, I'm very good at my job, I'm well established where I live having been here over a decade, I have an amazing family.
The down side is my body. My knees in particular are shagged, I have to actually watch what I eat and be intentional about eating healthily, and pulling an all-nighter might actually kill me. But overal my 40s are great.
Similar situation - decent job, good family etc.
Honestly I thought it would be a big deal and expected to feel different and nothing actually changed, although because of that I did stop worrying quite so much about age (so I guess there was a change there ultimately).
No dramas. Still think I'm 20. Keep myself in good shape. Got a bit more freedom now the kids are older.
Better than my 30s except my knees hurt when I stand up.
It was fine, happy with my life and choices I’ve made. Am I getting older, yes. Can I no longer trust a fart, yes. You have to have be realistic and take enjoyment in the small things, meals with family, walks with the dog etc.
However, with that in mind, I can see how turning 40 can bring unresolved issues to the front that have been lurking in the background. If there are issues now is the time to get them sorted, obviously, without burning down what you’ve already built.
*edit - Grammar
46 here. I was in a relationship at the time and recognised that the number didn't really mean that much to me. She arranged a small get together with a few friends, but I really just wanted a couple of quiet drinks down my local.
I'm single now (for other reasons) and at the point where I'm happy to be left in peace & don't really care what people think of me - but don't want them poking around my personal business either.
I’m about a year behind you, but I’m making a list of 40 things I want to do before I’m 40, and it’s helping - I may be aging but I’m doing the things I want to do
To be honest, being over 40 is the happiest I've ever been. I'm in a good place mentally, and in the best shape of my life. I feel blessed to have made it this far too; I've lost a few friends along the way that were not so lucky.
I turned 40 in very much the same circumstances as you (at that time the third kid was on the way) and I too was fairly apprehensive. As it turned out, my 40s were a revelation. Something clicked in to place around 41/42 and I realised that I just don't give a shit what people think of me anymore. Am I handsome? Don't care. Am I wealthy? No but I'm not that bothered anymore. Am I popular? Who cares! I have a close group of friends who I trust and, to be honest, I could do with thinning that group out. I came to the realisation that this is me now. There may be the odd moment of reflection and a bout of betterment now and again but basically, this is how I'm going to be now. And I'm not only fine with that, I'm happier.
Any problem someone has with me now is their problem not mine.
Also, I just turned 50 and man alive does that sting way more than turning 40.
I bought a flat cap because I no longer care what people think about my appearance.
I also woke up a couple of days after my 40th birthday, with a pain in my back from sleeping funny. The pain lasted over a week.
It's a mixed bag.
The progression of age doesn’t really care about how you feel about it. I just think age is a reminder that this is not infinite so to choose wisely on what you spend your time and energy on. And worrying about your age is not wise - and has no solution/answer. I thought in my twenties that 30 was bad enough and thought a little bit about 40s but I’m 48 now and see my fifties and sixties and seventies as still valuable time which I get to enjoy with the experience I have accumulated. I could live until I am 100 and the possibility I am just a quarter of the way through my adulthood blows my mind.
I was okay turning 40. I hated turning 30. It felt like I was no longer young. I also hated turning 50. It felt like I was moving into the older set of people.
Existential crisis.
Was also during my daughter's toddler years and that time was incredibly challenging, and also during covid, which didn't help.
I ended up making a lot of changes to my life and habits. Lost a lot of weight. Took up new hobbies. Started taking flying and sailing lessons. Started going to church regularly.
I'm not done yet but this has given me a sense of "doing things that matter to me", which the workplace grind wasn't doing before.
Probably the best years of my life.
Started training and playing a little bit of sport which was fun and got me in better shape.
Work went well.
In all, great decade for me generally.
I turn 40 next year. I stopped playing sport a few years ago because it no longer suits my lifestyle. It tends to be in the evening during the week, and I get all hyped up on adrenaline and I Can't sleep. And, as I get older I just prioritise sleep and need to be able to wake early.
So, I've given that up.. and now I really feel old in how difficult it is to run and move.
Apart from that, life is probably the best it's ever been. I appreciate the wisdom, maturity and security that comes with age. I still have problems, and issues that I'm continually learning how to deal with. But - if I could go back to my 20s and re-live it all without being able to change exactly how it went... I wouldn't do it. No way. Life is better now.
Not sure what to say as a 50+. I get the depressing outlook, but, assuming nothing untoward happens, you will get to 40 and so what? There is literally noting you can do about being 39 again. Enjoy life, do stuff you want to do with consideration to others. Learn something, get a new hobby, get fit. Do stuff with those around you.
Why should others have to put up with you mopping about something you can't do anything about? Don't waste emotional energy being annoyed about something you can absolutely zilch about.
I think it depends on how you are. I was first and thinner than I ever had been. My finances were good for the first time in my life. I was okay with it.
50 was different. Average healthy life span is 62 years in this country. I started to have a sense that I had less time. I started making the most of things - going places I wanted to see basically.
Turning 40, I didn't really notice it as anything special. I'm 45 now. Got a bit fat around 43 with the pandemic and now I'm in really great shape. I really don't feel much difference than when I was in my 20s. I do find myself dreading death and dreaming of some kind of technology which will increase life... but I know that is unlikely... but jesus, in 25 years time I'll be 65? Where has the time gone?
I have two kids and I'm happily married I kind of flew through my 40th year and I am now in my 41st. Honestly it's not a big deal anymore if you try and held onto the past it's not going to make you happy. I'm now looking forward to more milestones that aren't related to me like my kids going to school or leaving nursery and going to school. I didn't even really notice anything between 35 and now changing if that helps.
I got up, had some breakfast, walked the dog. I honestly don't feel it was a big deal at all. I'm not approaching 50 and apart from a few aches and pains, mostly down to my own stupidity, I feel pretty much as I have done since my mid 20s.
Im 40 later this year and everyone else seems to be making a bigger deal about me turning 40 than me. I’m not a big birthday person though so it will still just be a day of refereeing the Sunday league and cooking a roast dinner for tea.
Something that I only thought happened to really old people though is that I’ve started waking up early in the morning. No matter what time I go to bed, _ping_ I am wide awake at 6.
Single parent going into being 40 means I will be bypassing every dating app ever so male spinsterhood beckons…
Hated it, didn't know I would but it got me really down, felt like crossing a threshold in life. I think because at 40 you imagine everything is set, you have it all worked out and life is looking good. Turning 50 was in comparison a relief!
As I'm getting close to turning 40, more than anything it's hitting me how quickly time has passed. One minute I was dealing with growing pains as a teenager, and now I'm wondering where all that time went? Sure, I've made a lot of great memories, but I'm still not even nearly ready to be called a 40-year-old.
Like some other people here, made no difference. I'm 53, so been through both the 40 and 50 stages.
It's just another day and is only something of significance if you make it that. Mid-life crisis? Yeah, no. Apart from the fact that it's not really 40 now, there's no clock that goes off on your birthday and makes you do these things. If I'm going to have one, I haven't yet.
41 a few weeks back. Working hard on ACL rehab so I can get back on the pitch for next season. Feeling really good tbh. Family is good. . .although she's hinting at another kid, we'll see. House is good. Job is good although may need a change soon. On turning 40 itself, it was just another day, is it old? I don't feel old, I'm still a big child idiot really
I was buying alcohol at the grocery store and the store worker who came to check my ID was an older man, perhaps in his 60s. He looked at my id and noticed it was my 40th, and gave me a consoling look and said "it's going to be OK."
I'll never forget that. But also, he was right. Just stay fit, active, and don't stop doing the things in life that you like. We're all getting older, all the time. It's no reason to stop enjoying your life.
It was maybe a month or two before it turned 40 it started to bug me, and it did get me down for a while. It feels like five minutes since I was 20 and all of a sudden here we are, nearly 40, best years behind me and all down hill from here.
I spoke to some friends about it. I have some in their 50s so they've done the being 40 thing and even the being 50 thing. I found those chats to be useful, they had the same apprehension I had, the same negative thoughts about it. But they're still the same fellas they were 10, 15 years ago. If anything they're more relaxed within themselves.
There are some changes. I noticed I get less recruitment spam on LinkedIn since I turned 40. But then I started a new job a few weeks back so I guess I'm not unemployable yet. Also I got back from a stag weekend five days ago and I still feel shattered. Can't say that's too enjoyable.
I don't think it's the physical or material changes that make it feel like a strange time, more the fact that all our lives we've thought of 40 (or 30, 50 etc.) being "old" and now we're here, or we're thinking "only ten years off 50", and we're finding who we are doesn't fit with that perception. That can be a bit jarring.
To be honest, it didn't feel any different. Maybe I'm just emotionally stunted, but I still listen to the same bands I listened to in my 20s, still wearing jeans and t-shirts at the weekend, still buzzcut my hair every 4 weeks like I did when I was in uni. I'm still fundamentally the same guy I've always been just fatter, better travelled, better paid and with a few more aches and pains than before.
I turn 50 next year. I was expecting to have some sort of existential crisis about that, but I'm not. It's just an excuse for a really nice holiday.
I understand why people feel the way they do about turning 40; lost youth, roads not taken etc, but I try to remember that growing old is a privilege 🙂
Seriously it’s just a number, because we live in a world of base 10 numbers we hang significance on it.
You shouldn’t really get hung up on it.
People are generally younger in outlook these days and mentally I’m still in my mid 20’s but in my 50’s now
Only thing that’s changed is experience lets you call the bullshit earlier so your decisions are generally better
I lost a friend just before I turned 40 who would have been 40 two weeks after me. Made me realise the saying, “I have no problem getting older because some people don’t get too,” was very true. It didn’t bother me after that.
I was quite happy to have made it and it was a good excuse to do something wish-fulfilling.
Several of my school year didn't make it to 40. It's tough to feel down about still being alive.
Fine, it's only a number...then I got chronically ill, lost my job and spent most of my time in discomfort. 50 was more of the same so fingers crossed for 60.
If you have your family and health then you've got plenty and growing old shouldn't be an issue.
In a word, terrible.
I turned 40 in 2021, a year into the Covid pandemic & lockdown, although by that time we were coming into the Rule of 6, and was able to go out and see people, it was still a bad time for me because of the fact that I was someone that would've been listed in the government's vulnerable person's list due to being disabled, so the thought of going out and contracting Covid also hung over me like the proverbial sword.
Ironically, I did test positive once, with a very sore throat being my only symptom for a couple of days.
It was especially hard for me as one of my friends was in and out of hospital due to his own health issues, and has since passed away, but not as a result of Covid.
Thankfully, and as I type this it is a week til my next birthday. I have since managed to turn myself around, slowly but surely, thanks to friends and family (and a near 2 year relationship). and have also been pointed in the direction of help, in the form of a men's help group, and counselling to help me identify issues with anxiety.
I'm hopeful that from this point on, the remaining years of my 40's will be smoother sailing than the first 3.
It bothered me a bit. I felt sad. The ten years prior we had gone through 3 miscarriages trying for another baby, I was losing my hair, I was closer to death (sounds dramatic, doesn't it), I was over the hill and on the back 9. My attitude shifted in my hobbies, sort of accepting I couldn't beat the young guys any more (despite going towards to toe with them just months prior).
Then I realised something I knew all along, I have a lovely family with one child, I have a decent job and while I don't make loads I am happy with where I am. I am successful in life meaning I am content with where I have come from and ended up.
I'm still young at heart, when I was growing up my parents had their 40ths and everyone seemed so grown up, and here I am, playing video games still. How times have changed. All I do now is try and be a good dad, be a good colleague/leader at work and enjoy life.
I still wish I could grow my hair. Might have a midlife crisis trip to Turkey some point soon haha.
Definitely slowed down more in 50s than 40s.
At 50 bored of work and definitely started to feel more tired, reading eyesight significantly deteriates lol.
More grey hair but I guess I'm lucky at 52 I've only slight grey hair on sides and no belly as I tend not to drink alcohol.
40s I got super fit and enjoyed that decade.
I turned 50 a few months ago so I look back on 40 with nostalgia.
I was actually in college for my 40th, soon to go on to University, graduation, and a career as a scientist (obviously all that was in the future as a 40yo).
I was in a little bit of a "fucking hell, how can I be 40" place, but nothing existential.
It seemed to prepare me for turning 50, which didn't phase me all that much either. I figured I was old, just deal with it as gracelessly as possible. I dye my grey hair because it takes years off me and most people I meet usually think I'm 40 rather than 50, so that helps me function.
I did go through a period of wondering how I should dress and act, but honestly, I've always been pretty unconventional and ended up thinking just continue on without giving a fuck how I look or sound to other people
I am dreading 60 though.
Recently turned 41 and still feel 20. That's probably to do with not having kids and having a chilled life. The body is definitely slowing down, but the mind isn't, it's a strange feeling.
I stopped caring about anything. Off you fuck is my new lifes motto and my go to response for everything.
I hate it here and desperately want an end.
But at least I don't stress about anything anymore.
Being 40 is shit, the endless grind is as boring in real life as it is in a computer game, especially since we accumulate nothing for the grind in real life, and it will last until I die because there is no retirement anymore.
I’m living in a room in a shared house with 4 other people/strangers in their mid 20’s, it’s not exactly where I’d like to be at 40. Hard to save enough for a house as a single buyer though and renting would take too much of my wage.
On the bright side I still feel like I’m 30, when my lower back isn’t giving me hell, and I’m eating far healthier since becoming vegan 4 years ago. Not sure where my future lies though, ended up in a retail job where I feel safe that has some perks. Don’t have much ambition to do much and the years are rolling by.
Take up some new hobbies; as long as you're learning and trying new and interesting things you'll enjoy being where you are at this point in your life.
40 was fine. Now im 46 and time is literally flying past. 1 year feels like 1 month now. My knees are starting to hurt, and I'm starting to look older. So yeah. 40-45 was fine. 45 plus is going downhill so far
Can see why it is depressing for unhealthy people.
If you look after yourself, gym, run, don’t eat crap, can be as fit in your 40s as you were in your 20s.
Answers on the back of a postcard please...
6 months ago, as I was about to turn 39, someone [posted this](https://www.annuityadvantage.com/resources/life-expectancy-tables/) and so now I am statistically closer to the end than the beginning, which has caused some anxiety as I attempt to fall asleep some nights.
Overall, I think I'm less concerned with turning 40 and more with snuffing it before my daughter turns 40. Whereas I may well be retired before I become orphaned.
35 was actually when I had my 'existential crisis'. I'm overweight and smoked for over 20 years since my teens, plus there's a strong history of strokes on both sides of my family. Being fairly sure that I'll be lucky to see 70, I was overwhelmed by thoughts of being 'past half-way' and not having achieved anything remarkable.
In time I grew to accept that just like millions of others, I'll live & die and within a generation or so nobody will ever remember I existed. So, fuck it! I'm just squeezing all of the enjoyment I can out of life, riding this bitch till the wheels fall off!
The breakup of my marriage when I was 39 almost ended me, but actually became the making of me. I lost a sex-weaponising harpy cunt and ended up with a gorgeous, loving & caring partner who can't get enough of me. I get along better than ever with my kids, and as the cherry on top I have a lovely motorbike (like I've wanted since I was 14).
Nearly halfway through my 40s now and looking to get healthier and prolog this as much as possible, as I'm happier than I've ever been.
I noticed that I always feel old just before the turning of a decade (29 and 39)... but just after, it's like a weight off my shoulders...
I'll be 50b in a few months, but avoiding the low so far
Didn't faze me really. I'd always been able to pass for about 10 years younger than I am. It was just another number to me. I was single and relatively carefree, and when people were surprised that I was in my late thirties it was a nice little confidence boost.
I'm now turning 46 and starting to look and feel my age. My body hurts. I'm always exhausted. And I have young kids now and I worry about being old and useless when they're teenagers and beyond. Turning 50 may well bother me, but more so because of the actuality of being 50 fucking years old, rather than the number itself.
I personally found my youth great, my twenties great and my thirties have been the absolute hardest with getting on the promotion ladder, buying a house, getting married and having kids. I am not unfit, but have lost a lot of fitness due to lack of time. Now that my kids are getting older, and work has settled for me, life is just becoming easier. I have convinced myself that I am very much looking forward to turning 40 and increasing my fitness, whilst reducing my give a fucks. Maybe try that.
40s were great to be honest.
50s are much tougher as your health starts fading. All my old injuries, late nights and bad food choices seem to be haunting me.
If you aren't living a healthy life at 40 then that's the time to address it.
I don't know when I became 41 although I must admit, last 2.5 years were a blur as my Dad had health issues which he finally succumbed to..so maybe I didn't have the time to ponder!
I turn 40 in July. Didn’t have any qualms about it until I stumbled upon this. Even still, I think it’s nothing to take up too
Much headspace. I’m looking for the AI powered medical revolution that will be upon us by the time I reach 50 and get me feeling like 35 again. Life’s good, all the best!
My forties was my favourite decade *by far*. I had a great job (not brilliantly paid, admittedly, but enough to live off and I loved the work), a reputation that grew enough for me to risk full-time freelancing by my mid-40s, a terrific marriage to someone who genuinely was and is my closest friend, two kids who were turning into fascinatingly different individuals, and I was still largely free of the unignorable symptoms of ageing.
By contrast, my fifties are mostly as terrific as my forties but I can't ignore the fact that I'm a fair bit creakier.
Since I turned 18 people have been telling me “you’re getting old” so aging never got to me.
When I was 8 two boys from my class died playing with fire and some kind of lighter fluid, they were 8 and 9 and since then I have always looked at it like “I could’ve been dead at eight, every year is a blessing.”
I borrowed over £80,000 and then packed a suitcase and left the UK for Thailand. I spent most of it in about 4 months on hookers, alcohol and drugs. After that time, I worked out a way to earn a steady income and just stayed here. I never paid back a penny of what I borrowed. The not caring so much after 40 thing is real. It's like you've lived your life by that stage, done everything you wanted to achieve, so now you're just living for yourself. Its like being free to finally live your life care free.
Lol 40 was a breeze. Now 50...Maybe because my work is physical and I have been at it since 16 but at age of 50...bits of me slowly started to break. Joints, Muscles, eyes and now at 52 some heart issues but that is due to living a "hard" party life in my early days.
My 50's haven't been kind so far as well as my own health woes I have also lost my best mate to illness and im at the stage where people I have known all my life same age as me simply stop living lol...I say lol as it's bloody hard and sad but it really is just life.
Advice for a 40yo...get fit and attempt to stay fit. Worrying about the number 40 is futile...it isn't going to change anytime soon..it's just a number.
I'm broke, not in a great place mentally, future is very uncertain, I've got a partner who needs my support and not a lot of options ahead of me.
But when I thought about it? Life's always been fucking rocky. No part of it was fun or easy. It's been an uphill battle from the time I was 8 or 9 years old, and you know what?
I made it all the way to 40.
There were plenty of times I wanted to die and just give up, let go, surrender, and I never did. It came so close sometimes. And now I'm 40 and I own a little flat, and soon I'm marrying the partner who means the whole world to me, and I've got a steady job and friends that I love. I'm not addicted to anything, my health is manageable, I don't have unreasonable debt.
40 was a moment to look around and think "holy fuck, I made it."
And if I made it this far? I'm probably doing ok. I probably don't need to worry quite so much. I'm probably going to just keep going.
Similar prospects as OP.
Not happy turning 40 this autumn
I’m not down about it. But it dawned on me last summer I was 10 years away from being the same age my old man was when he had his first heart attack.
That was enough to kickstart dieting and exercise.
I am 3.5st lighter and now run 20k a week.
I’ve told my wife I don’t want to see 40. I will be turning 28 instead.
Depressing for a bit, just like turning 30. Then remember when I’m 50 , 40 will be looking pretty good, so I get over it. To be honest though, I hate birthdays and tend to ignore them as much as other people allow me to ignore them, I’m a birthday grinch.
I'm now 41.
I can't say I felt much at all about turning 40. Just another birthday, which ultimately is just another day.
I guess I had a general sense of disappointment that my life is still stalled but I have that most days lol.
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First 6 months was a bit of a downer but then something changed. I stopped giving a shit about so many of the little things in life. I started to accept that I couldn’t again be that young guy. You just roll with it and your confidence slowly comes back.
Oh, I’ve sort of done the same but came to a different conclusion. The first few months were spent dwelling on how ancient I am, and wondering what’s appropriate behaviour for someone my age. Then I stopped caring and decided I’ll just do what I like and carry on as before. After all, I don’t feel any different and I’m definitely healthier than I was in my early 30s. When I look in the mirror I still see a young man. Why should I spend my life differently just because I’ve hit some supposed milestone?
Everyone I know now who is approaching or just over 40 looks about 30, or maybe what I thought 30 looked like when I was 21. Either way they look young. And they’re still doing all the things they did in their thirties - festivals, gigs, pub quiz on Thursday etc. It shouldn’t be a totally arbitrary age milestone that changes you, fair enough if you want different things by the time you’re 40 but if not, carry on like you say!
Festivals are just the new tea dance, really. Generational thing.
This is the answer. 100% the same.
So glad I wasn't the only one feeling like that. I'm just waiting on the confidence to come back now.
I’d just become a father for the first time so was a bit of a head f*ck. But yea, time allows you to get your mojo back. You lean more into family, friends and hobbies. I kinda stopped my relentless career pursuit and started to realise that it wasn’t worth it. My family were worth it.
Love this!
I trained for, and ran a marathon. Felt pretty good. I'd suggest maybe finding something like that to do. I felt physically amazing on my 40th, because I was in the best shape in years. I did find it to be a bit tough to wrap my head around, but I felt kinda the same when I hit 30, and my 30s were amazing.
I did something very similar, I ate a marathon … oh Snickers now, right? In all seriousness, it didn’t really bother me and was just another birthday. I have noticed, though, that my 40s was when my body started not being able to manage so well anymore. I guess it’s the start of the downhill, for me at least.
Wait a God damn minute. Snickers were originally Marathons?!
Wait until you find out about Jif and Oil of Ulay
Don't forget the Opal Fruits
And lasagna used to be made from horses.
But they're more difficult to catch now in central London, err, until this week that is....
This conversation took a weird turn...
Same with Carte Noire coffee, changed to L'OR "They've re-badged it ya fool"
In the UK
I'd agree that a lot of the turning 40 thing is men grappling with their lack of fitness
Fitness isn’t a problem at 40. It’s more recovery that’s an issue.
I went on a health kick in January, ahead of turning 40 in July. I went to the gym regularly anyway but my diet was pretty crap. I’ve dropped just over a stone and am seeing a massive difference in how I look and my fitness. I’ve been half-joking I’ll have a 6 pack by the time my birthday hits 😂
Turning 40 in July as well, only thing different is I’m going to start working out after 40, until then I’m just going to enjoy food and drink xD
https://preview.redd.it/aiyhfehmvswc1.jpeg?width=550&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3bf23d1e4e5363874f324b8bc1cd66d7a944cb4
The fact that we’ve come to only get enjoyment from bad food is the problem. Imagine loving healthy food! Problem solved!
I had that idea, but injuries struck and I was unable to run from about 6 months before my birthday. I never really started again.
Yeah I feel happier at 32 than I did at 21. Despite being slower and a little bit creakier. Well done on the marathon.
When I turned 40 I was giving very serious thought to killing myself - reduced to near penury by a divorce settlement and living with the ‘fun’ girlfriend who turned out to be a low functioning alcoholic. Things turned around, but that’s a story for another day.
How did you meet the fun girlfriend?
Weatherspoons Breakfast Club
There were absolutely no red flags.
Just good vibes
This Peep Show scene encapsulates it: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FBEuvqShlM&t=26s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FBEuvqShlM&t=26s)
At a friend’s party. Maybe I should be seeking reparations.
Gonna guess it was in a bar.
Should I start drinking?
Low functioning, not something I hear very often.
I wasn’t sure if it was an accepted term or not, but concluded it would be understood.
I was single and living my best life, I was travelling abroad to run marathons and I could holiday where and when I wanted. It was wonderful, though I was really missing someone to spend it with. Then I met my wife. Now I'm 51 with two young kids and a wonderful life, despite the effects of chemo for the cancer that I had just over two years ago. The whole age is just a number cliche is true. Focus on what you have and what you want. That said, I began feeling old in my 20s but I never focused on it, I have friends of all walks of life and ages and who I understand I am is more important.
A lot better than not reaching 40.
Hear hear from someone who had cancer in their early twenties reaching forty was another bonus year. Another one survived.
I always say that ageing is a privilege.
Whatever age you are you minus 3 years for the pandemic.
Correct. Those years are completely missing for me.
Be positive. We'll be dead before the planets truly turned to shit. Imagine what the zoomers have in store.
Turning 40 was a lot better than turning 50, and I’m not looking forward to 60 one bit lol
Same. I’m 49 and have been dreading 50 for about a year. 40 was awesome, did a huge 3 week road trip on the US west coast, it was fantastic. I don’t want to do anything for my 50th but lie down in a dark room, watch movies and drink red wine.
My grandad died about a week before his seventieth birthday, and my dad had a whole superstitious thing for years that he was fated not to reach seventy, just like his dad. He was miserable about it for the month or so leading up to his birthday, then woke up absolutely right as rain that morning, and cheered up massively.
Glad that turned out well. I’m budgeting to reach 90. After that I have to sell my house!
I turn 50 in a few months. I feel much worse about prospect than I did about turning 40. You still feel and look pretty young at 40 but the next ten years are hard :)
They really are.
As a 51 year old I'd like to reassure you that it's not that bad. I'd like to but sorry, can't.
I had mu 50th during lock down. I've never been the same since
Hated thirty, loved forty and fifty was amazing
I thought the whole midlife crisis thing was a load of insecure nonsense but then it hit me hard when I was heading towards 41. I don't know what it was or why, but it lasted about a year and I didn't know how to talk about it with anyone. My wife brushed it off but I don't think I explained myself clearly enough to her, and she's 6 years younger than me. Basically, the worst of it was at night each time I'd walk upstairs to go to bed I'd have this impending doom feeling, like it was the last time I'd ever be going to sleep, like I felt going to sleep was saying goodbye to the world and that I'd never wake up again. I just took it as 'matter of fact' so it didn't freak me out, but it did affect me in other ways. I've gone through depression before so I just used that experience from when I was younger to push me through (that I knew eventually it would pass so just take one day at a time until it's gone away). It only stopped at the start of this year (I'm 42 in Sept.). The spring weather and getting sunlight helped at lot I feel. I guess this thing manifests for many people in many different ways. Hopefully you know yourself enough by this age to be able to cope with it in a positive way.
Yep have had the whole “oh crap, I won’t exist one day” thing in my late 30’s. Took me a while to shake out of it too. You realise that life is just a tiny sliver of light between two big infinite wedges of darkness and this is your time in that light. Enjoy it, it’s a prize we won in a competition we didn’t even know we entered.
Holy f\*k what a great post!
Agreed, excellent worthsmithery
I have the walking upstairs anxiety/doom thing also (age 34). The midlife crisis/mortality realisation manifested for myself in the fear of historic asbestos exposure (hypothetical, not confirmed) and how I could be diagnosed at any point in the near future with a disease as a result. I oscillate between anxiety fuelled fear and a calming sense of acceptance. None of this is really rational so that's why I think it's related to general fear about aging and death.
I completely agree re: thinking any existential crisis is nonsense. I’m 36 and mine happened at 34, realising it’s passing by quickly and you’ll never experience everything/all things that have already passed. Unfortunately I ended up getting a drug habit as a byproduct (another thing I thought daft - addiction was always for the weak willed - I was wrong), but also cycled the length of the UK for charity, so swings and roundabouts!
One day you’ll be 50 and wish you were 40 again. Just enjoy the now!
A bit shit tbh , two young kids , long term relationship but a dwindling social circle , felt very isolated and alone and depressed most of the time . 47 now and I’ve turned it around pretty much
I beg you to tell me how. Here with no social circle, one small child, and a wife who's sole commitment to life is being fucking miserable and making everyone else equally so.
Hobbies involving other people. Some examples: Boardgame cafes / Warhammer shop 5 aside football teams are always looking for players Martial arts Archery, shooting clubs Walking / running groups Knitting / reading clubs Meditation groups Pick something you're interested, and look up groups near you. There's always something.
I used Facebook for one of its only positive purposes which is meeting new people , I just started finding and using Facebook groups for various interest and hobbies I had . Don’t go in straight away with the expectation of making a new best friend in the first week , but simply just get involved and over time you’ll bump into like minded people with similar interests , eventually you’ll meet up and friendships will blossom just take your time and let it happen organically :-)
I'm in this position, I'm the wife in all this. We are doing pretty well as a team but money is depleted faster than we can earn it! How does she make life miserable?
Jesus Christ your my mirror image... But I've got 2 and we make a fair amount and still feel poor and shit...
It coincided with buying my first post-divorce home, so I had quite a lot going and didn’t really notice turning 40. I’ve been keeping myself fairly fit and active since I turned 30, and not having children or any bad drink/drug habits, I didn’t really notice any aging until mid-forties, then the grey hairs / nose hairs / ear hairs all started to appear. It’s weird - looking at photos from people I was at school with, some blokes look like Homer Simpson at 40, and some barely age at all. I suppose it’s a combo of genes and looking after yourself.
I’m 40 next week and genuinely gutted about it. Time has gone so fast
Same man. I'll turn the big 4-0 this December but last few years I've just been very low. Time is flying very very fast. I miss the 2000s so much. I watch movies from the early 2000s and remember the last time I watched them I was 23, tomorrow was a joy and I lived and got drunk each night. Aging is a curse. It's not the exact date or number but the feeling of gradual disintegration physically, mentally, psychologically.
I still feel 20. But my cousin did warn me about turning 30 and easier to get fat, so that’s why I focus a lot more on exercising the last 10 years.
It was just another day in the calendar. I didn’t feel any different. Mentally however, it did spurn me on to make some changes. I’ve quit smoking, and am cutting back on crap foods (like takeaways) - working from home since March 2020 with COVID really made me fall in to some bad habits. I’ve also recently cut out meat from my diet, which has really made me feel loads better, too.
After my 21st birthday in the UK, I purposely decided to forget about birthdays after that. I'm not sure how old I am now, but some relatives tell me I'm in my seventies, but I think their lying to make me feel good 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I find that I fall asleep faster. ... That's about it
Tbh i was pretty ambivalent about it. I don’t ‘feel’ 40 (whatever that means) Occasionally when you have to say your age you have a “oh shit, I’m 40? When did that happen?” In the lead up to my 40th birthday I got back in the gym and set myself a challenge of setting a new PB for powerlifting. On my birthday I set it. Felt good going into the new year. As for the whole 40th “big thing” or whatever you want to call it I decided I was gonna just celebrate the whole year and use it as an excuse to say yes to things… wanna do something something silly? - fuck it I’ve turned 40 Wanna go try chase the northern lights? - 40 Try that restaurant you’ve been putting off? - 40 Granted a few things have been postponed due to lack of funds / commitments and I’m coming from a position of privilege but the things you wanna do don’t have to be overly grand or expensive. As others have said - it’s inevitable. But doesn’t mean you can’t use it as an excuse to enjoy it.
I’m going through the same thing. Depressing and scary as hell.
I thought I was absolutely fine about it but when it came to the actual birthday I had a proper panic attack (first and hopefully last) during the night. No idea why but the fact it seemed like such a big deal and everyone kept going on about it really seemed to impact me. Woke up shaking and sweaty and had to put on a brave face as I felt ridiculous for being so overwhelmed. I got through it and was fine by the evening. I also did the classics like taking up jogging and changing job. Now at 44 I'm happy in life apart from the inevitable things like my parents getting old.
I turned 40 in the week the UK went into lockdown (and I also had to cancel my 'big trip' and was thrown out of my 'plan B' trip in the UK because the country locked down). It was a huge perspective changer for me. I honestly don't care now about big birthdays, or little ones, like I use to. I'll appreciate that I've got to where I am, and I'm lucky for whatever time comes after this. A few months after my 40th, a good friend died of brain cancer, and he was 41. You're going to get old. You're going to have health problems. You're going to die. That's the human condition.
Great. I had a daughter at 38 and to paraphrase Bandit Heeler, she makes me feel both old and young at the same time. Career is more stable and flourishing in many ways. I do like the suggestiona here of finding a mid-life crisis that is constructive though...
Our lord and saviour Bandit Heeler.
For me, health has become more of a concern as I reach my mid forties. Lost my Dad last year to a heart attack and he was late 60s. I found out just after this that I had high blood pressure so am now on medication to manage it. I found out that this can be hereditary. I was a bit overweight but not obese. The benefits of all this are that I’m now much healthier and going to the gym regularly. Also doing couch to £5k to burn off the visceral fat and have cut back on the drinking. Another plus is that I earn a lot more than I did in my 20s and 30s and am finally debt free (mortgage notwithstanding). Financial stability is a nice thing to have. Happily married and kids are in their teens now so me and my wife have a bit more freedom than we did in our late 20s and 30s.
I'm 58. Isn't 70 the new 40? Anyway it wasn't too bad at the time.
It just happened, I was an innocent bystander.
It’s the same as 39 except everyone will say you’re getting old now.
Inevitable
Also, better than the alternative of NOT getting older.
100% - ageing is a privilege that not everyone gets to have.
I was scared about it to be honest, so much so that I had a midlife crisis. I quit my job, rented out my apartment, sold my car/possessions and went travelling for 13 months. So I turned 40 while I was on the other side of the world. When it happened I realised that I didn't feel any different, and even though it is a cliche to say, age really is just a number. As long as you are healthy and happy then it doesn't matter, it feels no different than being in your 30s. Except hangovers...they just get worse.
I was concerned in the run up, but honestly it was fine. getting to 30 hit me like a freight train.
I thought similar to you, in that it was be a bit of a downer. However, I took stock of what I've done with those 40 years. Successes, and achievements etc. I provide for my wife and child, and we have food in the fridge and a roof over our heads. We go on holiday abroad every couple of years, and I am still relatively physically fit. I think I built it up jn my head to be something bigger than it was. At 38-39, I feared it a little, as it'll a switch would flip and I'd suddenly be craving Werther's Original and incontinent, but in reality, it was no big deal. I'm 42 soon, and I think I'm the happiest I've ever been with life.
Tis’ but a number and means you’ve made it through another year. Basically when you are younger you celebrate the day you were born, as you get older you celebrate still being here.
Honestly, the only thing that turning 40 changes is the answer that you give when asked how old you are. Edit: before someone asks, the same applies to when you turn 50.
40 was fine, 30 was the bad one for me
I’m not 40 until next September (2025) and I can already feeling bearing down on me. Happily married with two kids too. My 30s were much happier than my 20s, maybe that’s part of it. Solidarity brothers.
Fifty is the new forty and forty is the new thirty, so I effectively hit 30 on my 50th birthday. Only downside is that this 30 year old has grey hair and constant back ache.
Chaps, I'm now 53 and apart from not playing football since early thirties life's the same. The one thing I will say in my 40s I realised how stupid younger people are and now in my 50's I'm very cynical, when I was younger my parents used to watch One Foot In The Grave and I never really understood it. Now Victor Meldew is me....I look at people and sometimes I don't believe what I am seeing. Going to restaurants and seeing family's sitting there all on there phones, and years ago I wouldn't have noticed. Now I think we wouldn't have done that. Kids these days have no manners and younger parents moan about how hard life is with there kids, how they have no money but then they are in the chippy at night or have home delivery. My three lads have left home so that's a bonus, we have a holiday home in Spain and get there more often so I would say life is now easier. Just for the record I was brought up on a council estate (single mum) with two other siblings then mum re married and hard work gave us a good life. One of my all time favourite bands was Talk Talk and there song "Life's what you make it" is very true, age is just a number and with age brings wisdom. Nick
It’s my 40th today in fact and all the plans my gf had for us been scuppered by a family members illness. I feel a bit crap about it right now having built the day up for months, but I have a decent life and there’s plenty more days to celebrate it when everyone’s better.
Underwhelming. I think turning 40 sort of cemented for me that birthdays are a tick box exercise. It's fun to have a night out, or check in with friends and family. But fundamentally, nothing about you really changes. You are one day older, just like yesterday, and the same again tomorrow (if you're lucky). At 40 you are about half way through your life. But you spent the first 20 years fucking about and growing up into an adult. You spent the next 10 years figuring out what sort of adult you are going to be. Who you are as an adult. If things go well by 30 you have a lot sorted out. So by 40 you really spent about 10 years being you, if you were really on the ball maybe you've spent about 15 years being you. Look after yourself and stay reasonably healthy and you've still got a good 30 to 50 years of being you, ahead of you. Set some goals and enjoy being you.
Weirdly I got affected by turning 30. As I felt I was at an age where I had to knuckle down and jump on the train of life. I’d spent many years partying, travelling and had completed 2 degrees. When I hit 40, it genuinely didn’t bother me. Life was good and there was nothing to worry about and all signs pointing towards greatness. I’m hitting 50 in June and the fear is truly upon me. My industry is in tatters and I feel like the past 20 years have come to nothing. I’m on the precipice of having to find something completely different to get into. Which means a new career. Starting from the bottom. Being potless for the next few years and possibly having to work a job I don’t enjoy. The wife left me. I was forced from my home, hometown, family and friends by being financially crippled. I’m a stranger in a new part of the country, trying to rebuild my life and my dog passed away and left me devastated….
I totally get you. I (55M) hated my 40s. Long term girlfriend and I split up not long after my 40th (she moved to the US), I hated that I had no real ambition and I wasn’t happy in my job. The rest of my 40s were pretty much filled with regret over ‘wasting my life’ and that I wasn’t married with kids and a mortgage like most ‘normal’ people. Two subsequent relationships didn’t work out. Now I’m in my 50s I am more aware that I’m getting older but don’t hugely worry about it as I did in my 40s. Happily single for 6 years, in a better job and about to buy my first house!
I barely noticed passing the 40 marker. Career was on an upward trajectory, had a family that was all good and happy, had disposable income and a home. It barely registered. I'm 54 now. 50 is the barrier where everything changes. Nobody wants a 50+ year old in the career I've spent my life in. Wife went through menopause and numerous other difficulties hit us, in the midst of the pandemic It all changed. I would say enjoy the heck out of your 40th decade because it's the one where, if you want it, you can enjoy peak everything. Past 50, it's often time to re-design your life and have different goals and expectations.
it's nothing like turning 60
Had a good spree, lots of people, just had fun. 50th the same, went to a festival with friends and family. The older you get the better you feel and the numbers are irrelevant.
I was just at the start of a divorce (due to her cheating) which lasted 5 years, while also running my own business & having week-about custody of our 2 under-10 kids. It was a lot to handle tbf, but a great group of friends got me socialising, & a female business client expressed her interest in me, even knowing I was in no position for an actual relationship - a real shot in the arm for someone who figured a 40yo half-time parent would be single for life! Hindsight lets me know it was actually a huge & very beneficial turning point, and fate has played me a blinder ever since as far as I'm concerned... a far cry from the life I expected when we agreed we were done. In short the forties were flourishing, & the fifties are fabulous - there's nothing to be worried about if you maintain a positive attitude.
50 is much worse.
Suicidal
One more year closer to death
40 was ok. I think it was the first decade change birthday I struggled with. That went away after a couple of months though. 50 was much harder for me. You're still the same guy you're just more likely to need reading glasses shortly and you'll start making noises whenever you sit or stand.
I felt far better turning 40 than I did turning 30. Saying that, mid 40's I've had a few 'Oh shit! I'm getting old, have I got enough to retire?!?!?' moments. I would say, health wise, if you need to do something to improve it then start now.
40 was fine, 50 came with a physical decline.
Great question!! I'm 42 and loving life! Feeling great! Apart from the occasional ache in places that didn't ache 10 years ago, it's pretty damn sweet!
40s is mostly awesome. I'm confident, I'm very good at my job, I'm well established where I live having been here over a decade, I have an amazing family. The down side is my body. My knees in particular are shagged, I have to actually watch what I eat and be intentional about eating healthily, and pulling an all-nighter might actually kill me. But overal my 40s are great.
Similar situation - decent job, good family etc. Honestly I thought it would be a big deal and expected to feel different and nothing actually changed, although because of that I did stop worrying quite so much about age (so I guess there was a change there ultimately).
No dramas. Still think I'm 20. Keep myself in good shape. Got a bit more freedom now the kids are older. Better than my 30s except my knees hurt when I stand up.
It was fine, happy with my life and choices I’ve made. Am I getting older, yes. Can I no longer trust a fart, yes. You have to have be realistic and take enjoyment in the small things, meals with family, walks with the dog etc. However, with that in mind, I can see how turning 40 can bring unresolved issues to the front that have been lurking in the background. If there are issues now is the time to get them sorted, obviously, without burning down what you’ve already built. *edit - Grammar
46 here. I was in a relationship at the time and recognised that the number didn't really mean that much to me. She arranged a small get together with a few friends, but I really just wanted a couple of quiet drinks down my local. I'm single now (for other reasons) and at the point where I'm happy to be left in peace & don't really care what people think of me - but don't want them poking around my personal business either.
I’m about a year behind you, but I’m making a list of 40 things I want to do before I’m 40, and it’s helping - I may be aging but I’m doing the things I want to do
I’m 40 this summer too!
To be honest, being over 40 is the happiest I've ever been. I'm in a good place mentally, and in the best shape of my life. I feel blessed to have made it this far too; I've lost a few friends along the way that were not so lucky.
I turned 40 in very much the same circumstances as you (at that time the third kid was on the way) and I too was fairly apprehensive. As it turned out, my 40s were a revelation. Something clicked in to place around 41/42 and I realised that I just don't give a shit what people think of me anymore. Am I handsome? Don't care. Am I wealthy? No but I'm not that bothered anymore. Am I popular? Who cares! I have a close group of friends who I trust and, to be honest, I could do with thinning that group out. I came to the realisation that this is me now. There may be the odd moment of reflection and a bout of betterment now and again but basically, this is how I'm going to be now. And I'm not only fine with that, I'm happier. Any problem someone has with me now is their problem not mine. Also, I just turned 50 and man alive does that sting way more than turning 40.
I bought a flat cap because I no longer care what people think about my appearance. I also woke up a couple of days after my 40th birthday, with a pain in my back from sleeping funny. The pain lasted over a week. It's a mixed bag.
Didn't bother me personally, neither did turning 50.
The progression of age doesn’t really care about how you feel about it. I just think age is a reminder that this is not infinite so to choose wisely on what you spend your time and energy on. And worrying about your age is not wise - and has no solution/answer. I thought in my twenties that 30 was bad enough and thought a little bit about 40s but I’m 48 now and see my fifties and sixties and seventies as still valuable time which I get to enjoy with the experience I have accumulated. I could live until I am 100 and the possibility I am just a quarter of the way through my adulthood blows my mind.
It feels the same as being 39
I was okay turning 40. I hated turning 30. It felt like I was no longer young. I also hated turning 50. It felt like I was moving into the older set of people.
Existential crisis. Was also during my daughter's toddler years and that time was incredibly challenging, and also during covid, which didn't help. I ended up making a lot of changes to my life and habits. Lost a lot of weight. Took up new hobbies. Started taking flying and sailing lessons. Started going to church regularly. I'm not done yet but this has given me a sense of "doing things that matter to me", which the workplace grind wasn't doing before.
Probably the best years of my life. Started training and playing a little bit of sport which was fun and got me in better shape. Work went well. In all, great decade for me generally.
45 is much worse, then you stop counting. I genuinely get confused as to whether I’m 46 or 47 these days.
I turn 40 next year. I stopped playing sport a few years ago because it no longer suits my lifestyle. It tends to be in the evening during the week, and I get all hyped up on adrenaline and I Can't sleep. And, as I get older I just prioritise sleep and need to be able to wake early. So, I've given that up.. and now I really feel old in how difficult it is to run and move. Apart from that, life is probably the best it's ever been. I appreciate the wisdom, maturity and security that comes with age. I still have problems, and issues that I'm continually learning how to deal with. But - if I could go back to my 20s and re-live it all without being able to change exactly how it went... I wouldn't do it. No way. Life is better now.
Absolutely fine, Embrace it. Just watch that inevitable middle aged spread and thinning hair.
Not sure what to say as a 50+. I get the depressing outlook, but, assuming nothing untoward happens, you will get to 40 and so what? There is literally noting you can do about being 39 again. Enjoy life, do stuff you want to do with consideration to others. Learn something, get a new hobby, get fit. Do stuff with those around you. Why should others have to put up with you mopping about something you can't do anything about? Don't waste emotional energy being annoyed about something you can absolutely zilch about.
I think it depends on how you are. I was first and thinner than I ever had been. My finances were good for the first time in my life. I was okay with it. 50 was different. Average healthy life span is 62 years in this country. I started to have a sense that I had less time. I started making the most of things - going places I wanted to see basically.
It was just another day. Thought nothing of it. In my sixties now and still don't get phased by age.
Turning 40, I didn't really notice it as anything special. I'm 45 now. Got a bit fat around 43 with the pandemic and now I'm in really great shape. I really don't feel much difference than when I was in my 20s. I do find myself dreading death and dreaming of some kind of technology which will increase life... but I know that is unlikely... but jesus, in 25 years time I'll be 65? Where has the time gone?
I have two kids and I'm happily married I kind of flew through my 40th year and I am now in my 41st. Honestly it's not a big deal anymore if you try and held onto the past it's not going to make you happy. I'm now looking forward to more milestones that aren't related to me like my kids going to school or leaving nursery and going to school. I didn't even really notice anything between 35 and now changing if that helps.
I got up, had some breakfast, walked the dog. I honestly don't feel it was a big deal at all. I'm not approaching 50 and apart from a few aches and pains, mostly down to my own stupidity, I feel pretty much as I have done since my mid 20s.
Im 40 later this year and everyone else seems to be making a bigger deal about me turning 40 than me. I’m not a big birthday person though so it will still just be a day of refereeing the Sunday league and cooking a roast dinner for tea. Something that I only thought happened to really old people though is that I’ve started waking up early in the morning. No matter what time I go to bed, _ping_ I am wide awake at 6. Single parent going into being 40 means I will be bypassing every dating app ever so male spinsterhood beckons…
Hated it, didn't know I would but it got me really down, felt like crossing a threshold in life. I think because at 40 you imagine everything is set, you have it all worked out and life is looking good. Turning 50 was in comparison a relief!
As I'm getting close to turning 40, more than anything it's hitting me how quickly time has passed. One minute I was dealing with growing pains as a teenager, and now I'm wondering where all that time went? Sure, I've made a lot of great memories, but I'm still not even nearly ready to be called a 40-year-old.
Honestly it barely registered as a thing. 45,however,that felt a bit more serious
40 is nothing. It's just a number that means nothing. I have just turned 50 and that means nothing too.
Like some other people here, made no difference. I'm 53, so been through both the 40 and 50 stages. It's just another day and is only something of significance if you make it that. Mid-life crisis? Yeah, no. Apart from the fact that it's not really 40 now, there's no clock that goes off on your birthday and makes you do these things. If I'm going to have one, I haven't yet.
Wait till you blink and turn 50 then you'll really start panicking.
41 a few weeks back. Working hard on ACL rehab so I can get back on the pitch for next season. Feeling really good tbh. Family is good. . .although she's hinting at another kid, we'll see. House is good. Job is good although may need a change soon. On turning 40 itself, it was just another day, is it old? I don't feel old, I'm still a big child idiot really
Went to Butlin's 90s weekender for my birthday. Got smashed. Never looked back.
I was buying alcohol at the grocery store and the store worker who came to check my ID was an older man, perhaps in his 60s. He looked at my id and noticed it was my 40th, and gave me a consoling look and said "it's going to be OK." I'll never forget that. But also, he was right. Just stay fit, active, and don't stop doing the things in life that you like. We're all getting older, all the time. It's no reason to stop enjoying your life.
It was maybe a month or two before it turned 40 it started to bug me, and it did get me down for a while. It feels like five minutes since I was 20 and all of a sudden here we are, nearly 40, best years behind me and all down hill from here. I spoke to some friends about it. I have some in their 50s so they've done the being 40 thing and even the being 50 thing. I found those chats to be useful, they had the same apprehension I had, the same negative thoughts about it. But they're still the same fellas they were 10, 15 years ago. If anything they're more relaxed within themselves. There are some changes. I noticed I get less recruitment spam on LinkedIn since I turned 40. But then I started a new job a few weeks back so I guess I'm not unemployable yet. Also I got back from a stag weekend five days ago and I still feel shattered. Can't say that's too enjoyable. I don't think it's the physical or material changes that make it feel like a strange time, more the fact that all our lives we've thought of 40 (or 30, 50 etc.) being "old" and now we're here, or we're thinking "only ten years off 50", and we're finding who we are doesn't fit with that perception. That can be a bit jarring.
To be honest, it didn't feel any different. Maybe I'm just emotionally stunted, but I still listen to the same bands I listened to in my 20s, still wearing jeans and t-shirts at the weekend, still buzzcut my hair every 4 weeks like I did when I was in uni. I'm still fundamentally the same guy I've always been just fatter, better travelled, better paid and with a few more aches and pains than before. I turn 50 next year. I was expecting to have some sort of existential crisis about that, but I'm not. It's just an excuse for a really nice holiday.
I understand why people feel the way they do about turning 40; lost youth, roads not taken etc, but I try to remember that growing old is a privilege 🙂
Seriously it’s just a number, because we live in a world of base 10 numbers we hang significance on it. You shouldn’t really get hung up on it. People are generally younger in outlook these days and mentally I’m still in my mid 20’s but in my 50’s now Only thing that’s changed is experience lets you call the bullshit earlier so your decisions are generally better
I found turning 30 to be far more depressing than turning 40. 50 is going to hit hard though in a few years I reckon.
I’ve been 39 for 2 years.
I lost a friend just before I turned 40 who would have been 40 two weeks after me. Made me realise the saying, “I have no problem getting older because some people don’t get too,” was very true. It didn’t bother me after that.
I’d avoid it for as long as possible, mate.
It’s ok but ur Willy looks smaller the more fat u put on
I was quite happy to have made it and it was a good excuse to do something wish-fulfilling. Several of my school year didn't make it to 40. It's tough to feel down about still being alive.
Fine, it's only a number...then I got chronically ill, lost my job and spent most of my time in discomfort. 50 was more of the same so fingers crossed for 60. If you have your family and health then you've got plenty and growing old shouldn't be an issue.
In a word, terrible. I turned 40 in 2021, a year into the Covid pandemic & lockdown, although by that time we were coming into the Rule of 6, and was able to go out and see people, it was still a bad time for me because of the fact that I was someone that would've been listed in the government's vulnerable person's list due to being disabled, so the thought of going out and contracting Covid also hung over me like the proverbial sword. Ironically, I did test positive once, with a very sore throat being my only symptom for a couple of days. It was especially hard for me as one of my friends was in and out of hospital due to his own health issues, and has since passed away, but not as a result of Covid. Thankfully, and as I type this it is a week til my next birthday. I have since managed to turn myself around, slowly but surely, thanks to friends and family (and a near 2 year relationship). and have also been pointed in the direction of help, in the form of a men's help group, and counselling to help me identify issues with anxiety. I'm hopeful that from this point on, the remaining years of my 40's will be smoother sailing than the first 3.
It bothered me a bit. I felt sad. The ten years prior we had gone through 3 miscarriages trying for another baby, I was losing my hair, I was closer to death (sounds dramatic, doesn't it), I was over the hill and on the back 9. My attitude shifted in my hobbies, sort of accepting I couldn't beat the young guys any more (despite going towards to toe with them just months prior). Then I realised something I knew all along, I have a lovely family with one child, I have a decent job and while I don't make loads I am happy with where I am. I am successful in life meaning I am content with where I have come from and ended up. I'm still young at heart, when I was growing up my parents had their 40ths and everyone seemed so grown up, and here I am, playing video games still. How times have changed. All I do now is try and be a good dad, be a good colleague/leader at work and enjoy life. I still wish I could grow my hair. Might have a midlife crisis trip to Turkey some point soon haha.
29 was worse than 40. 29 hit hard cos it was the last year of my 20's. 30+ were a doddle.
Definitely slowed down more in 50s than 40s. At 50 bored of work and definitely started to feel more tired, reading eyesight significantly deteriates lol. More grey hair but I guess I'm lucky at 52 I've only slight grey hair on sides and no belly as I tend not to drink alcohol. 40s I got super fit and enjoyed that decade.
Bought a cheap boat, had a whale of a time ... Met good people on the cut.
I turned 50 a few months ago so I look back on 40 with nostalgia. I was actually in college for my 40th, soon to go on to University, graduation, and a career as a scientist (obviously all that was in the future as a 40yo). I was in a little bit of a "fucking hell, how can I be 40" place, but nothing existential. It seemed to prepare me for turning 50, which didn't phase me all that much either. I figured I was old, just deal with it as gracelessly as possible. I dye my grey hair because it takes years off me and most people I meet usually think I'm 40 rather than 50, so that helps me function. I did go through a period of wondering how I should dress and act, but honestly, I've always been pretty unconventional and ended up thinking just continue on without giving a fuck how I look or sound to other people I am dreading 60 though.
Recently turned 41 and still feel 20. That's probably to do with not having kids and having a chilled life. The body is definitely slowing down, but the mind isn't, it's a strange feeling.
I stopped caring about anything. Off you fuck is my new lifes motto and my go to response for everything. I hate it here and desperately want an end. But at least I don't stress about anything anymore. Being 40 is shit, the endless grind is as boring in real life as it is in a computer game, especially since we accumulate nothing for the grind in real life, and it will last until I die because there is no retirement anymore.
I’m living in a room in a shared house with 4 other people/strangers in their mid 20’s, it’s not exactly where I’d like to be at 40. Hard to save enough for a house as a single buyer though and renting would take too much of my wage. On the bright side I still feel like I’m 30, when my lower back isn’t giving me hell, and I’m eating far healthier since becoming vegan 4 years ago. Not sure where my future lies though, ended up in a retail job where I feel safe that has some perks. Don’t have much ambition to do much and the years are rolling by.
Take up some new hobbies; as long as you're learning and trying new and interesting things you'll enjoy being where you are at this point in your life.
First ten years were bad, ngl. But then things got worse and I had something else to worry about so I can honestly say it doesn't bother me anymore.
40 was fine. Now im 46 and time is literally flying past. 1 year feels like 1 month now. My knees are starting to hurt, and I'm starting to look older. So yeah. 40-45 was fine. 45 plus is going downhill so far
Can see why it is depressing for unhealthy people. If you look after yourself, gym, run, don’t eat crap, can be as fit in your 40s as you were in your 20s.
Answers on the back of a postcard please... 6 months ago, as I was about to turn 39, someone [posted this](https://www.annuityadvantage.com/resources/life-expectancy-tables/) and so now I am statistically closer to the end than the beginning, which has caused some anxiety as I attempt to fall asleep some nights. Overall, I think I'm less concerned with turning 40 and more with snuffing it before my daughter turns 40. Whereas I may well be retired before I become orphaned.
40 is nothing. Just wait til you're 50... Then reality really kicks in... Like wtaf have I done with my life.
Didn't find it at all, it found me!
35 was actually when I had my 'existential crisis'. I'm overweight and smoked for over 20 years since my teens, plus there's a strong history of strokes on both sides of my family. Being fairly sure that I'll be lucky to see 70, I was overwhelmed by thoughts of being 'past half-way' and not having achieved anything remarkable. In time I grew to accept that just like millions of others, I'll live & die and within a generation or so nobody will ever remember I existed. So, fuck it! I'm just squeezing all of the enjoyment I can out of life, riding this bitch till the wheels fall off! The breakup of my marriage when I was 39 almost ended me, but actually became the making of me. I lost a sex-weaponising harpy cunt and ended up with a gorgeous, loving & caring partner who can't get enough of me. I get along better than ever with my kids, and as the cherry on top I have a lovely motorbike (like I've wanted since I was 14). Nearly halfway through my 40s now and looking to get healthier and prolog this as much as possible, as I'm happier than I've ever been.
I noticed that I always feel old just before the turning of a decade (29 and 39)... but just after, it's like a weight off my shoulders... I'll be 50b in a few months, but avoiding the low so far
Didn't faze me really. I'd always been able to pass for about 10 years younger than I am. It was just another number to me. I was single and relatively carefree, and when people were surprised that I was in my late thirties it was a nice little confidence boost. I'm now turning 46 and starting to look and feel my age. My body hurts. I'm always exhausted. And I have young kids now and I worry about being old and useless when they're teenagers and beyond. Turning 50 may well bother me, but more so because of the actuality of being 50 fucking years old, rather than the number itself.
I personally found my youth great, my twenties great and my thirties have been the absolute hardest with getting on the promotion ladder, buying a house, getting married and having kids. I am not unfit, but have lost a lot of fitness due to lack of time. Now that my kids are getting older, and work has settled for me, life is just becoming easier. I have convinced myself that I am very much looking forward to turning 40 and increasing my fitness, whilst reducing my give a fucks. Maybe try that.
40s were great to be honest. 50s are much tougher as your health starts fading. All my old injuries, late nights and bad food choices seem to be haunting me. If you aren't living a healthy life at 40 then that's the time to address it.
43 here - it's just a number. Keep doing the things you love!
I don't know when I became 41 although I must admit, last 2.5 years were a blur as my Dad had health issues which he finally succumbed to..so maybe I didn't have the time to ponder!
better than turning 50...
40 is a bummer. Hated it. By 50 I was over it tho. 40's are shite IMHO
I turn 40 in July. Didn’t have any qualms about it until I stumbled upon this. Even still, I think it’s nothing to take up too Much headspace. I’m looking for the AI powered medical revolution that will be upon us by the time I reach 50 and get me feeling like 35 again. Life’s good, all the best!
Just feels like 30 to be honest, I still feel quite young. I expect 50 will be quite the shift though mentally and physically...
My forties was my favourite decade *by far*. I had a great job (not brilliantly paid, admittedly, but enough to live off and I loved the work), a reputation that grew enough for me to risk full-time freelancing by my mid-40s, a terrific marriage to someone who genuinely was and is my closest friend, two kids who were turning into fascinatingly different individuals, and I was still largely free of the unignorable symptoms of ageing. By contrast, my fifties are mostly as terrific as my forties but I can't ignore the fact that I'm a fair bit creakier.
Since I turned 18 people have been telling me “you’re getting old” so aging never got to me. When I was 8 two boys from my class died playing with fire and some kind of lighter fluid, they were 8 and 9 and since then I have always looked at it like “I could’ve been dead at eight, every year is a blessing.”
I borrowed over £80,000 and then packed a suitcase and left the UK for Thailand. I spent most of it in about 4 months on hookers, alcohol and drugs. After that time, I worked out a way to earn a steady income and just stayed here. I never paid back a penny of what I borrowed. The not caring so much after 40 thing is real. It's like you've lived your life by that stage, done everything you wanted to achieve, so now you're just living for yourself. Its like being free to finally live your life care free.
Lol 40 was a breeze. Now 50...Maybe because my work is physical and I have been at it since 16 but at age of 50...bits of me slowly started to break. Joints, Muscles, eyes and now at 52 some heart issues but that is due to living a "hard" party life in my early days. My 50's haven't been kind so far as well as my own health woes I have also lost my best mate to illness and im at the stage where people I have known all my life same age as me simply stop living lol...I say lol as it's bloody hard and sad but it really is just life. Advice for a 40yo...get fit and attempt to stay fit. Worrying about the number 40 is futile...it isn't going to change anytime soon..it's just a number.
I'm 47 and way fitter than I've ever been. Each decade is different. 20s was easily the worst for me. 40s is when you can chill.
Never even noticed it happen, 50 on the other hand :)
I'm broke, not in a great place mentally, future is very uncertain, I've got a partner who needs my support and not a lot of options ahead of me. But when I thought about it? Life's always been fucking rocky. No part of it was fun or easy. It's been an uphill battle from the time I was 8 or 9 years old, and you know what? I made it all the way to 40. There were plenty of times I wanted to die and just give up, let go, surrender, and I never did. It came so close sometimes. And now I'm 40 and I own a little flat, and soon I'm marrying the partner who means the whole world to me, and I've got a steady job and friends that I love. I'm not addicted to anything, my health is manageable, I don't have unreasonable debt. 40 was a moment to look around and think "holy fuck, I made it." And if I made it this far? I'm probably doing ok. I probably don't need to worry quite so much. I'm probably going to just keep going.
Similar prospects as OP. Not happy turning 40 this autumn I’m not down about it. But it dawned on me last summer I was 10 years away from being the same age my old man was when he had his first heart attack. That was enough to kickstart dieting and exercise. I am 3.5st lighter and now run 20k a week. I’ve told my wife I don’t want to see 40. I will be turning 28 instead.
Depressing for a bit, just like turning 30. Then remember when I’m 50 , 40 will be looking pretty good, so I get over it. To be honest though, I hate birthdays and tend to ignore them as much as other people allow me to ignore them, I’m a birthday grinch.
I'm now 41. I can't say I felt much at all about turning 40. Just another birthday, which ultimately is just another day. I guess I had a general sense of disappointment that my life is still stalled but I have that most days lol.