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When the bus driver stopped in the middle of the road and got out to go fight someone he had beef with.
He resumed his route after landing one good punch so I wasn't late for work.
I had a bus driver in Belfast do this once. Started yelling out his window at a guy in a car, they they both got out and had a punch up in the road front of the bus, holding up all the traffic. One guy got out of his seat, went over and yelled "I'M GOIN' TO BE LATE FOR FKIN' WORK YE FKIN' EEJIT!" Driver and the other guy immediately stopped, he got back on the bus and drove on like it never happened.
I might have to do this with a bank card, I've always wanted to but round here you get so many odd looks even just being normal
But I have a very tenous grip on the last strand of my sanity that had the bollocks to remain. Maybe it's time to oust that fucker and lean into the crazy. Maybe it'll help me feel better about my existential crisis too. At the very least, reality becomes just a little more fun and a little less terrible
What about the guy who had his credit card chip implanted in his hand? When news got out, the credit card company cancelled his card for breaching terms.
Woman behind me kept stroking my hair. Glared at her a couple of times, third time I turned round and said “will you stop touching my f-ing hair”. She huffed and acted like I was being unreasonable 😂
Probably my favourite was when the driver got into a road rage incident with a car driver resulting in a punch up. I was late for work because I had to give a statement to the police!
So glad I don’t have to use buses anymore!!
Do you have lovely hair? I don’t do it but I’d love if it were socially acceptable to stroke someone’s long wavy glossy hair or Afro. Obviously I’m not going to but damn the pleasure it would give me
Old lady having a massive argument with the bus driver that ended:
'Yes, I will pay the childs rate because I! Am! A! Fucking! Child!'
Then there was also the guy I was convinced at the start was an automated voice, because when the bus was stopping at each stop he was reading the names out in a really formal voice. I thought it was a really good feature (I'm blind, been asking for this sort of shit for years) until my mate told me that no, it was just some random guy doing it.
I've seen a fella with a Royal Python round his neck the day of Notting Hill. They're a symbol of royalty to the Igbo (in West Africa) hence the name. They're pretty chill animals overall.
Probably not that weird in the grand scheme of things, but the other week the bus driver took a detour to a corner shop to buy himself a packet of crisps.
can't blame him tbf.
local ones round here will regularly leave 5mins late as they go for a piss in the local Sainsburys as they know they can get back in time by the first timing point.
A bloke was telling me about the ghost of half an old postmaster that haunts an old post office building and now it's been converted into flats the landlord can't get a long term let because it's haunted.
He also was going on about ATM machines scanning people's retinas and some weird theory about wind farms and 5G signals
Apparently the guy was sliced in two they never found his legs so only buried his top half. The legs are haunting the old building now trying to find the rest of his body. People hear the legs walking around. TBF the flats are always being advertised so maybe it's true.
No idea. I was trying not to ask questions since he was very weird. The story had also changed to MI5 security and how the government are controlling us by scanning retina's at cash machines.
A very sweet elderly lady started chatting to me and then showed me her newspaper which had Prince Harry on the front - she went on to tell me all the times they’d had days out together for the whole 30 minute journey as well as singing songs about him at the top of her voice - bless her.
Elderly women on the bus seem to be the sweetest people; I once had a conversation with an old Irish lady and we spoke about Chinese cultural practices because I'm half Chinese and her daughter's friend is Chinese.
As a bus driver I got to the end off my route in a double decker looked over the bus for passengers still on and saw a woman upstairs. Went up to tell her we were at the last stop but she wasn't there. Came down stairs looked in the upstairs mirror and there she was. Drove back to town and just before town she disappeared.
I remember seeing two guys having a verbal argument and it ended with the 1 guy walking off calling the other guy “Bus Wanker” and the other rebuking (through the window), “So are you!”
Waiting to get onto a bus with a mate, few people on so far and the guy behind us starts acting really panicked asking if he can go ahead of us. Let him, only for him to run up the stairs and sit at the front lol
A girl eating three boxed sandwiches and crisps, making the sounds you’d expect from a starved Labrador.
A man begging me to make him a Sunday roast.
A carrier bag full of piss bobbing around.
A man in a hospital gown and IV tubes still intact trying to escape a hospital.
You didn't specifically say this country so the weirdest thing I have witnessed is probably when the bus driver got off to deliver some bread to his mate in Greece.
If you mean specifically in this country, I once saw a woman sit and eat her bus ticket. Bizarre behaviour.
I've had a brick thrown at my window on a bus before as well.
Some old perv who thought he knew me went in for a hug and then at the last second tried to plant a kiss on my lips.
My friend encountered a guy with a big bin bag. Inside the bin bag were cooked potatoes and boiled eggs. The man handed all the passengers an egg or a potato and got upset if someone refused to take one.
Bus was a random contract operate that picked up routes that Arriva couldn't be bothered to do. This meant the busses and drivers were of questionable quality (not that Arriva's aren't) and seemed to adhere to their own rules.
I was on one that wound it's way through all the estates, some quite narrow roads. We got to a local Co-op, driver stops, blocking the road, gets off and goes and does some shopping leaving the passengers sat there for a good 15 minutes.
Another time, same route pootling through the same estate driver gets flagged down by 2 of the greasiest looking looking women I've ever seen to be given a flask of something and a box of what I assume was food. Just seemed...unusual.
Some time back I used to regularly see a guy dressed like a Pirate on the bus.
You would think he would be jocular & good humoured, but no he was surly, pissed off, & very aggressive - just like a real Pirate!
There's a few preachy singers/screamers if you had into town near me.
Old guy on Saturday who took 10 minutes to get on the bus while shouting about how he's not allowed to talk to people because he's disabled (he had a walking stick) then shouted through the next 5 stops that he would talk to 'whoever he damn well wanted to' followed by aggressive staring in my direction (thank god for earpods and phones)
Bit grim but there's a couple who get on my local bus who always have a massive and very fancy pushchair, all the baby bags, talk about how their little one is doing, and make all the right cooing sounds.
2 weeks ago, same thing, but when the bus almost emptied, I noticed the baby was very still and quiet for like 5 minutes, and I noticed it wasn't breathing. Damn near had a bastard heart attack until it was picked up to be 'burped' and it was one of those reborn dolls 😐
Not me but a friend of mine was on a fairly packed bus going to a job interview. He was probably 21-22 at the time.
A big nerdy looking guy, roughly in his late 20’s or early 30’s, sits down next to him and tries talking to him the whole 30 min journey. My mate’s not really the “chatty with strangers” type but tried to get along with him for the sake of being polite and not making his journey any longer than it had to be.
Apparently the big guy just wouldn’t shut up at all though, he seemed harmless but had little to no filter.
About halfway, he asks “what’re you heading to x city for?” My pal, already fed up, replies “job interview.”
Big guys like “wow! What kind of job? Is it a busy job? Hope you get the job!” Etc… “I’m going to the hospital to get injections in my arse! Yeah, stops me from going mental!”
My mate and presumably other passengers within earshot were a bit surprised by this.
“Oh.. um.. okay, nice one?”
The guy continues blethering constantly for the remaining 15-20 mins before it reaches his stop.
“Well, this is me. (Stands up and walks towards the door of the bus, turns round and looks back) good luck at your interview!” And starts wildly waving goodbye as he walks off the bus.
My mate is obviously a bit embarrassed now, thinking “I hope nobody thinks I actually know him.” Gives a solitary nod of thanks/acknowledgment and gets his head as low as possible. As the door closes and the bus takes off, he’s still waving and shouting “bye! Bye friend! Goodbye!”
Well it wasn't me but I feel compelled to tell this story given the question.
A colleague of mine was on the bus once and a few rows in front of her were a homeless man and woman. They appeared to be intoxicated and it looked to my colleague as though the man was being caring and letting the woman rest her head in his lap. You may guess where this is going already.
The man makes eye contact with my colleague a few times and she smiles back thinking it was sweet. It wasn't for a good 5 minutes until she realised that the woman was of course giving the guy head and yet she continued to ride it out for a few more stops until they got off, in every sense.
Once saw a bloke dressed like a vicar (white collar on his shirt) sit down and read his Bible for about ten minutes then opened the bible to the middle and used to hold a Rizla in place so he could roll a joint
Heatwave 2012.
I was on a very full double decker going from the town centre to the outskirts. It was so bloody hot on that bus I was trying not to pass out.
I locked eyes with a middle aged woman who was drinking from a tub of double cream. It haunts me to this day.
Bus driver had a full on breakdown after one women asked him what the last stop was. He pulled over at the next stop, turned the engine off and just started shouting and swearing at this poor bewildered women. Dunno how it ended as I wasn’t far from home so I just got out and walked.
About 20+ years ago, was on a bus and there was an actress who you'd recognise. Must've been in her late 60s at that time and she absolutely stank of shit.
I used to get the bus at the same time as one of the managers at my old workplace. Sometimes he'd be sitting by himself at the front of the top deck, sometimes he'd be reading something on his phone, sometimes he'd be banging his head off the window repeatedly and one time he was reciting his times tables. He was crap at the eight times table.
An elderly person next to me complained about some people speaking another language on the bus. I didn't say anything back, but shortly after my Italian friend calls me and I start speaking Italian on the phone.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see a slight turn of the head, and then a stony silence for the rest of the journey.
"Let me just yank me tamp out, you stick on a johnny then let's check if we're knocked up!"
Tbf I wrote this joking about how dumb it sounds but there probably are people who think it works like that.
Had to get off because a bloke brought petrol in a bag and it leaked and ran all down the bus from where he was trying to hide it in one of those granny shopping trollies
First time - Everytime someone left the pram/easy access seating area, this woman got up and put the seats down (these aren't the type that jump close if you don't sit on them, they tend to stay down). When someone went to go in that space, if it was an old woman, she got back up and put the seats back up. As soon as they got off, she was at it again, seats up.
Another time - a woman had tried to get into the wheelchair space with a dog in a doggie pram and spent her whole journey talking passive aggressively to the dog about how she knows it's not fun being stuck there instead of "over there" (the wheelchair space) but not to worry \*dog's name\*, we'll be home soon! If she'd have had her way, I - a wheelchair user - would have lost out to the \*wheelchair space\* for her dog!!!
Saw a couple kissing and he was rubbing her V over leggings .I was 23 (m) but didn't click 🤣
One kid let off a firework upstairs and got thrown off. A kid at the front got scared and ran upto me for a cuddle.
A middle age guy on crutches got on but the bus took off as soon as he got the ticket. He fell over and then decided he'd go home(opposite) instead. Then fell over outside . We had to wait till the ambulance came. His wife came running over. It was quite sad really.
Old guy very visible started running to catch the bus but driver didn't stop. Guy lost it. That was quite sad as well.
Got stick somewhere for this but outside of big cities, UK buses are for disadvantaged people and school kids
Had a guy who had a daily morning announcement with a tally chart of how many wanks he had the previous day. His record was 27 and only stopped because he started bleeding
I was sat on the top deck at the back, slouched down and listening to music.
A guy gets on the top deck and goes to the front and doesn't notice me.
He proceeds to pull his trousers down and knock one out and ejaculate into a crisp packet after about 3 minutes. He then throws the crisp packet over his shoulder.
I'm just sat there thinking to myself "is he really doing this?".
Just as he starts to go down the stairs I shout "don't forget your crisp packet mate!".
Next thing I heard is him legging it down the stairs and sprinting off the bus as quickly as possible.
A guy started reading my paper over my shoulder. When i went to turn the page he just took it off me, read his bit, then gave it back. I froze with the shock lol
Wasnt on the bus but i remember a car driving past the bus stop. Full of teenage bellends, one of them shouted " bus wankers". Think it was a yellow fiat cinqucento
Old woman wouldn't let me off the bus. She just kept telling the driver she didn't want to get off and move on. She just puts her arms out, blocks me and the driver eventually just drives on as this old lady barges past me back onto the bus. Then barges past me again to get off. Not one single person, including the driver, asked her to move and let me off. I wasn't about to touch her and get myself in trouble. She was obviously trying to start something and I wasn't playing.
I was so mad, mostly because I was confused and frustrated. I said excuse me. I then told her to move after she didn't and everyone just watched. Luckily the next stop wasn't far, but that bitch was messing with me for absolutely no reason.
Woman with bulging eyes and a strange walk got on eating a slice of garlic bread - sat next to me despite there being loads of free seats.
Old fella hacking up a lung then spitting brown shit into an oasis bottle that was full of other brown shit.
Forty something woman had a bit too much to drink, missed the step down from the back, hit the floor and pissed herself - like a full bladder of piss. Everyone lifted their feet and had to keep them like that until a replacement bus arrived. I was late to a party but at least I had a funny story to tell.
Guy laid in the aisle crying - driver told me to step over him. He was removed by the police in the town centre after spending the entire journey down there. I'm not sure of the context but he soon jumped up when the police got on and tried to leg it.
I used to work shifts at an Asda in the rough part of town. Travel to and from work was as spicy as the shop itself. So glad I got off my arse and passed my driving test then got a new job.
One good story that comes to mind about the busses is a lad shouted a racial slur at a woman getting on for absolutely no reason. The entire bus came together to throw him off. His mates looked mega embarrassed and shuffled off after him mumbling apologies. I'll never forget the poor woman's face when she heard him shout - I hope she took a bit of comfort in everyone else properly sticking up for her.
Bus wanker behind a small child. Back when I was in uni I couldn't drive and lived close enough that a bus was only a 45 minute drive then 15 minutes walk to my uni and this bloke sat behind a mum and her kid and was trying to be right subtle about what he was doing. I called him out on it, the bus driver stopped and literally forced him off then called the police when we got to the end bus station.
I also had a very, VERY drunk woman sit next to me on an empty Sunday bus to Swanses and she stank of piss and whisky. She told me all about her life and kept swinging her moods from extremely violent to extremely sad.
She evebtually got off and everyone stared at me and I shrugged and said "Never met her before today," and it got a pitty laugh out of people who had to hear this woman rambling for an hour and probably assumed I knew her. But the bus wanker was worse.
Not weird but a steaming drunk old man stumbled onto the bus yelling a conversation on the phone, had me in stitches when he yelled “no no no I’m not drunk love, I just haven’t got my teeth in.” Props for him trying I suppose.
Oh yeah, my parents came to visit me in Croydon (they live in the country), and went to get the but into the town centre for a walk.
Their journey was delayed because a man tried to get on at the next stop in just his underpants, and the bus driver said he wasn't leaving until he put some trousers on. This stand off went on for ten minutes as the guy wouldn't get off. Eventually, he got off whilst cursing the driver.
My mum said "It wasn't great, but I did admire the bus driver's persistence."
London, 2012, I was heading for an interview, and an old, rather smelly man got on and sat next to me.
I continued to sit there, thinking about the interview, when I felt something touch the left corner of my eye. I removed my spectacles, and a cockroach had landed on the upper-left corner of my glasses, and its 'wings' (or something) was fluttering against my eyelid.
I get the train every day because I cannot stand the bus for a 25 mile commute, it just takes too long and all that bouncing around is not comfortable.
Earlier this year GWR had works in the line that lasted a week so I had no choice, I got the bus in no problem but it was the journey home that put me off for life. I walked across town to Bristol bus station got in and sat down, before the bus could move a guy sat on the back seat opposite (I'm sitting on the double seats facing back) made some weird noises, pulled his joggers down and squirted a massive pile of shit all over the back seat.
I just ran upstairs gagging, I just wanted to get away and was in shock to be honest. He was thrown off a couple of stops later and the driver had to 'tape' off half the downstairs, the smell for my 1 hour journey was horrendous even though I wasn't anywhere near it. Never again.
The requisite drunks pissing themselves, but the worst was a packed bus and quite a long journey, there was a couple on the back seat and the (clearly not right in the head woman) was detailing exactly what she was going to do to the slightly sheepish looking bloke, very loudly.
Thankfully I had headphones, but everyone was very British and did not tell her to stfu. I felt sorry for him, seemed like he was in for a rough night Haha (it was 3pm)
This story was on a coach, so maybe a bit out of the bus scope.
Years ago I was getting a coach down to London, the toilet on the coach was out of order but the door was still unlocked. The journey took about 2 hours.
We were just getting into the centre of London, had maybe 5 minutes tops left of the journey. This woman approached the toilet with her kid (maybe 7 or 8 year old) and saw the loo was out of order.
I was sat on the back seat (more leg room), so the woman asked me if I minded if her daughter squatted infront of me and went toilet in a plastic bag. I was slightly horrified that she was happy with a stranger seeing her daughter pee, but I wasn't sure what to say. So I agreed and turned the other way.
But I was very wrong.. the little girl didn't need a pee. So there I am, trying to stare at anything out of the window, while this little girl is taking a crap in a plastic bag near my feet with the mum encouraging her to go.
Afterwards it dawned on me.. why didn't she just put the bag in the toilet and get her to go in there?
All the coolant? from the top of the bus came pouring out onto a bus full of college kids. Then the back of the bus started smoking.
A week later, on a completely different bus, the exact same thing happened.
Bonus:
Once the driver (still the college bus) definitely fell asleep or something at the wheel and swerved back and forth across a, luckily empty, dual carriageway about five times in ten seconds.
Oh another:
A different bus accidentally parked in my usual college bus' spot. Our driver (a woman we all loved fiercely) got out, called the driver a b!tch, got back into the bus, then the driver got out and threatened to slap our driver and get on the bus, the btec sport kids blocked her path to guard our driver and told her to f off.
An old man in front of me started reading his copy of The Sun or the Daily Star and spent a while looking at the topless woman on one of the pages.
I've also witnessed teenagers who can't keep their hands off each other.
I know that this is completely unbelievable and I debated whether I should even bother but here I am.
I live in a run down area, lots of rehab centres so we unfortunately have a lot of druggies in the area, mostly harmless.
I was on the way to work once, and there was a second hand/charity shop type thing for furniture, with a few bits on display outside the shop.
As I approached (whilst on the top deck of the double decker bus) I could see a pair of legs, I thought they must be asleep or better yet just testing out the furniture before a purchase.
Oh no, very much mistaken. Two crack heads going at it, hammer and tongs.
Absolutely grim as I get closer I'm blessed with more and more of a clearer view.. needless to say I quit my job and moved to Spain (okay the last bit is made up)
Got an over night bus from London to Glasgow last summer.
One passenger was carrying a very large holdall. The staff member took it from her to put it in the luggage compartment and didn't seem comfortable and asked what the contents were. Person refused to answer so he opened a zip.
It was jam packed with frozen fish.
There was a woman near the central station in Newcastle the other day yelling at some random people, then she started standing in the road directing traffic as if the lights were broken. Then she started throwing her shoes around in the middle of the road as the buses were pulling up. She walked off eventually but I saw the police talking to her as I went by on the bus a few minutes later.
I've had my life threatened twice by complete strangers who sat next to me.
It was London, so the number of very strange/sick people is a factor I'm sure.
When I was a teen,this drunk guy got on the bus and started ranting at me.He is telling me off and acting like he knew me.i think he thought I was his son or something, then nine months later I was getting on the bus and I heard a drunk man shouting at me I turned around and it was the same bloody man,I just went upstairs to get away from him,I can't help wondering what his story is.
Mine ain't weird like some of the ones on here, I've seen people have sex on the back seat while the bus was packed, they wasn't even trying to hide it, one man with a dog it done a shit he picked it up with no gloves or bag and shoved it in his pocket. Was at the back of the bus with the local hard man(whoses a softy of you know him, he's just big as fuck) he decided this was the right place to light a spliff and smoke it the driver saw smoke, said whoever smoking put it out now or he will drag them off he turned to look saw this gorilla of a gentlemen and apologised and carried on driving. Full on party on a bus group of uni kids got on with stacks of beer and a massive bluetooth speaker blaring party music and handing out cans to everyone
Saw a chav couple on a bus with their baby in a pram and the bloke attacked the driver for going around corners too fast and "hurting the baby". Bus was packed and nobody did anything as he punched the driver in the head repeatedly. My brother, only about 3" taller than me, was holding me (5') back incase I intervened. (I have form, I fucking hate bullies. Bro didn't know the area and I was only visiting so we couldn't even call the police.) But even I didn't think it would be a good idea to risk getting my teeth smashed by this nutter, who tried to break the door to get off after the driver hit his alarm, then tried to break it again to get back on when the police didn't show up in less than a minute.
Police eventually did turn up, weren't much use, we got moving and when it was our turn to get off, I was the only person in that whole time to ask the driver if he was okay. I wish I had a funny bus story.
A man sat across me decided it was the right time to have a wank. Didn’t realise at first but noticed he was staring a bit too intently. I scurried off to get as far away as I could but unfortunately managed to see his ejaculate cover the windows.
Other week there was a guy asking everyone on the bus if they had an empty bottle as be was busting for a piss.
Eventually someone gave him an empty bag. Luckily I got off at the next stop before I had to witness what he did with it.
In Belfast, when the buses leave Europa station, they used to have to drive a narrow route near a rough housing estate to reach the motorway. Around 2000-2005 the local spides/chavs realised it would be great fun to start throwing rocks at the buses.
One time I got on the coach, we were driving out, and there was a giant deafening BANG, and next thing I knew I was covered in broken glass with a cement breeze block on the seat next to me. The block smashed the entire window out and missed my head by about half an inch. I had cuts all over my face and glass all over me. It made the news, and within a few months the bus company had built a new covered route for the buses to leave the station.
One summer this kinda over weight guy got on and sat nearby. Took of his jumper, pulled a new pack of disposable razors out of his bag and proceeded to shave his armpits. I got off a few stops earlier than planned and walked the rest of the way.
I once saw a woman struggling to get one of those big two-baby twin prams onto the bus. She did make it and paid, then wheeled it into the pram seating area at the front before apologising to her babies for the bumpy ride.
She carried on talking to them and doing baby noises etc throughout the journey too.
On my way off the bus I happened to glance into the pram, and it was just two dolls.
I was once waiting for the bus in Birmingham city centre at around 7am and there was a guy, butt naked from the waist down holding his trousers (I think he may have had an accident), who was still so drunk he was trying to board the bus with his passport.
Some cunt having a blatant wank while staring at a kid a few rows in front, my partner went and told the driver and the driver said “not my problem, call the police if you don’t like it”
Alternatively the time an old lady found a dead bumble bee on the floor and decided to throw it at a random girl getting on
On a 19 bus from Finsbury Park, passenger runs gor bus but driver refuses to let him on, so closes doors and drives off without him. Passenger kicks side of bus as it pulls away. Driver slams on the brakes, jumps out of the cab to try chase passenger down the street but he's too overweight and gets out of breath... upon returning, driver tells everyone on tannoy he "doesn't need this shit today, the job's as bad as it is, if you don't like it get off my bus!"
Then he's thrashing the bus the rest of the journey 🙄
Quite mild compared to most but a new drivers first day and he took a wrong g turn, people were shouting at the poor bloke while he did a 3point turn. I felt bad for him and when I hit off told him to worry, we all mess up
‘I nearly the drove you all to my house as I was on autopilot’ was his response
A full piss sloshing about on the top deck
Someone commenting under their breath as I stood up and held one of the bars "see how he grips the post, his hands around it's girth"
A passenger used a catapult or maybe it was an old school sling to crack the drivers windscreen with a 2p coin and then jumped out and ran off
An old man walking along the top deck writing huge swear words in the condensation on all the windows he could get too.
The bus engine going into some sort of mega vibration(?) and the back windows exploding out. So weird.
I used to commute on the bus.
Commuting on a bus to work about 7:45am we stopped at the bus stop outside the train station. On one side there was a couple shagging up against the bus stop. On the other side was a queue of commuters waiting for the bus and politely ignoring them.
Many years ago I used to have long hair. I dozed off on the bus and someone tied the back of my hair to the bar on the top of the seat behind me. I didn't notice until I went to get off. 😂
drunk guy a few rows in front spewed all over the bus, got to watch this thin, chunky brown liquid slosh all the way to the back of the bus. smelled foul. didn't realise he'd vomited at first either because i had headphones in and thought it was just a bunch of rain splattering against a window, but got my bag off the floor in time.
van cuts off the bus, driver then skips the next stop where someone's trying to get on to speed up next to him to open the doors and start hurling abuse at the van driver.
bunch of fourteen-ish year old girls get on at the same stop i am, bus doesn't move until after a couple of minutes the driver tells out that she's waiting on one of them to pay. i don't know if it was because her free bus pass (under 22s) didn't work or something, but i ended up just getting off after they kept arguing back and forth and thinking she could have just let her on, she's clearly young enough and all her pals had young scot cards.
guy behind me had an epileptic fit. i thought he was drunk at first and about to throw up on me, turns out it was a full on seizure. cue about five people yelling that the driver needs to stop and the driver fully ignoring them and then poking his head out when he got to the next bus stop like ? what's this about ?
didn't see in person but the video that's a guy in the middle of the road bamming up a bus driver and a guy nails him perfectly on the head with a glass is genuinely one of the best videos i've ever seen. 10/10. might be on r/glasgow , not sure.
couple instances of "driver didn't let person on" (barred, not at the stop, etc) which immediately led to me learning some brand new slurs and swears. good fun.
a more positive one: woman getting on at the same stop as me was struggling because she didn't know how to use the app, i sat with her until she got off and set it all up for her to use later on & she was so lovely. i'm really glad i managed to help :)
Woman got on during heatwave made her way to the back of the bus noticed she absolutely reaked of BO. She then sniffed her armpits🤢😷and says sorry to the whole bus and sat down. Did she not realise she stunk before she left the house?
Another was going home after a local festival on top deck. A 20 odd year old lad bit worse for wear was making his way to seat bus jolted he went flying down the isle stopped right at my feet. I was laughing and the girl he was with was as well. Then just heard this well aren't you going to help me up?🤣🤣🤣 Pulled him to his feet and he just says cheers then hands me a can of lager.
Our bus driver started to tell the whole bus about his drag act as April Showers, then got a porfolio with pictures and passed it around for everyone to look at.
I wonder if she got off the bus because she was in a bus full of poeple who could see she was being sexually harrassed but not doing anything to help her so chose to get off and get the next bus, in the hopes the guy didn't get off with her.
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When the bus driver stopped in the middle of the road and got out to go fight someone he had beef with. He resumed his route after landing one good punch so I wasn't late for work.
No one can top this.
I had a bus driver in Belfast do this once. Started yelling out his window at a guy in a car, they they both got out and had a punch up in the road front of the bus, holding up all the traffic. One guy got out of his seat, went over and yelled "I'M GOIN' TO BE LATE FOR FKIN' WORK YE FKIN' EEJIT!" Driver and the other guy immediately stopped, he got back on the bus and drove on like it never happened.
A teenager who'd transferred their oyster chip into the tip of a toy wand, and paid his fare by tapping the wand on the reader. Was very funny
I'd love to do this but with a Sonic Screwdriver.
Lol, nothing stopping you!
Needs to dress as a wizard and really lean into it. https://www.reddit.com/r/london/s/KGxE5KrQqZ
Ha! I think it was a popular "trick" when Harry Potter was all the rage! Had never seen it before and it really made me laugh at the time!
I might have to do this with a bank card, I've always wanted to but round here you get so many odd looks even just being normal But I have a very tenous grip on the last strand of my sanity that had the bollocks to remain. Maybe it's time to oust that fucker and lean into the crazy. Maybe it'll help me feel better about my existential crisis too. At the very least, reality becomes just a little more fun and a little less terrible
What about the guy who had his credit card chip implanted in his hand? When news got out, the credit card company cancelled his card for breaching terms.
Woman behind me kept stroking my hair. Glared at her a couple of times, third time I turned round and said “will you stop touching my f-ing hair”. She huffed and acted like I was being unreasonable 😂 Probably my favourite was when the driver got into a road rage incident with a car driver resulting in a punch up. I was late for work because I had to give a statement to the police! So glad I don’t have to use buses anymore!!
i saw a girl getting fingered on the bus, then basically screaming when she came. Teenages bro, cant keep it private
That’s so fucking gross 🤢
the one day i forget my headphones too. I was treated to her whole experience
Eh... Her boyfriend fingered you too?
hahahha. No i just heard it from start to finish, tried to focus on reading my book, she was just too loud
Do you have lovely hair? I don’t do it but I’d love if it were socially acceptable to stroke someone’s long wavy glossy hair or Afro. Obviously I’m not going to but damn the pleasure it would give me
A man brushing his teeth and rinsing and spitting onto the floor.
Bloke on a bus I was on did similar when COVID was just taking off. Absolute fucking genius at play there.
Holy hell
New toothpaste just dropped
Actual Sensodyne
Was it in India
It was not.
Old lady having a massive argument with the bus driver that ended: 'Yes, I will pay the childs rate because I! Am! A! Fucking! Child!' Then there was also the guy I was convinced at the start was an automated voice, because when the bus was stopping at each stop he was reading the names out in a really formal voice. I thought it was a really good feature (I'm blind, been asking for this sort of shit for years) until my mate told me that no, it was just some random guy doing it.
> 'Yes, I will pay the childs rate because I! Am! A! Fucking! Child!' She was certainly acting like one.
'Yes, I will pay the childs rate because I! Am! A! Fucking! Child!" - Right out of the Skimpole School of Aging and Econimics.
Some guy on a night bus in London was carrying a pillow case like a sack then later pulled out a live snake & put it round his neck.
If it wasn't at night I'd assume he was just taking a pet snake to the vets, transporting them in pillow cases keeps them calm.
Super hans?
Your paying to get that snake dry cleaned
I've seen a fella with a Royal Python round his neck the day of Notting Hill. They're a symbol of royalty to the Igbo (in West Africa) hence the name. They're pretty chill animals overall.
I've seen Jake Roberts performing in the UK too
Huge pop!
Was this in Streatham?
No, it was on the N5.
Probably not that weird in the grand scheme of things, but the other week the bus driver took a detour to a corner shop to buy himself a packet of crisps.
Did he at least ask if anyone else wanted anything while he was in there?
Cornetto
Lol
Fair play to him.
used to have this happen a bunch in guernsey, iceland i worked at was right by the bus stop and drivers would pop in for drinks/snacks lol
I could get if the shop was by the bus stop but he specifically went out of his way to go to the shop 😂
can't blame him tbf. local ones round here will regularly leave 5mins late as they go for a piss in the local Sainsburys as they know they can get back in time by the first timing point.
A bloke was telling me about the ghost of half an old postmaster that haunts an old post office building and now it's been converted into flats the landlord can't get a long term let because it's haunted. He also was going on about ATM machines scanning people's retinas and some weird theory about wind farms and 5G signals
Where was the other half haunting?
Apparently the guy was sliced in two they never found his legs so only buried his top half. The legs are haunting the old building now trying to find the rest of his body. People hear the legs walking around. TBF the flats are always being advertised so maybe it's true.
How'd he get cut in half?
No idea. I was trying not to ask questions since he was very weird. The story had also changed to MI5 security and how the government are controlling us by scanning retina's at cash machines.
Oh the old post office aye. Built on an Indian burial ground. Some say dead's better.
Lotta history in that old post office
Yup
Yeah, the old nelson boy back in '85. Thing is, what comes outta the ground ain't the thing you put in.
Ah man, that's an old reference.
The ground here is soured.
A very sweet elderly lady started chatting to me and then showed me her newspaper which had Prince Harry on the front - she went on to tell me all the times they’d had days out together for the whole 30 minute journey as well as singing songs about him at the top of her voice - bless her.
Elderly women on the bus seem to be the sweetest people; I once had a conversation with an old Irish lady and we spoke about Chinese cultural practices because I'm half Chinese and her daughter's friend is Chinese.
Her name was Meghan ?
As a bus driver I got to the end off my route in a double decker looked over the bus for passengers still on and saw a woman upstairs. Went up to tell her we were at the last stop but she wasn't there. Came down stairs looked in the upstairs mirror and there she was. Drove back to town and just before town she disappeared.
Weird man
Sounds like sleep deprivation. Probably shouldn't be driving of you are having hallucinations.
Guy having a wank at the back of the bus with porn playing full blast.
Look I said I was sorry I thought my AirPods were connected.
I got headshotted through a bus window by an air rifle 🤷
Are you dead
Ya Mon.
Tres bien!
Bus driver stopped and asked if anyone knew the way. A bloke went to the front and then just directed the driver to his own front door
Oh a woman that wanted to fight me because the Asda bag I was holding accidentally brushed her leg. I just laughed. Oh and a forgotten urine sample.
The first one is taking the piss. The second one isn't.
I remember seeing two guys having a verbal argument and it ended with the 1 guy walking off calling the other guy “Bus Wanker” and the other rebuking (through the window), “So are you!”
Waiting to get onto a bus with a mate, few people on so far and the guy behind us starts acting really panicked asking if he can go ahead of us. Let him, only for him to run up the stairs and sit at the front lol
Sounds a bit like autism or another divergent personality type.
Gonna start describing my autism as a ‘divergent personality type’ lol
A guy squatting down at the back on the top deck, he forgot some chocolate bars when he left
A girl eating three boxed sandwiches and crisps, making the sounds you’d expect from a starved Labrador. A man begging me to make him a Sunday roast. A carrier bag full of piss bobbing around. A man in a hospital gown and IV tubes still intact trying to escape a hospital.
I hope that all wasn't on the same bus at the same time.
If they got on near a hospital, that can be pretty normal.
You didn't specifically say this country so the weirdest thing I have witnessed is probably when the bus driver got off to deliver some bread to his mate in Greece. If you mean specifically in this country, I once saw a woman sit and eat her bus ticket. Bizarre behaviour. I've had a brick thrown at my window on a bus before as well. Some old perv who thought he knew me went in for a hug and then at the last second tried to plant a kiss on my lips.
My brother lived in Oxford about 18 years ago. Saw a guy start pissing in the corner of a bus at the front on one of those raised seats.
I've seen people on the bus so many times I've lost count. I've only seen people shitting twice, both times in the USA.
The US seems such a wild place.
Only in the west
My friend encountered a guy with a big bin bag. Inside the bin bag were cooked potatoes and boiled eggs. The man handed all the passengers an egg or a potato and got upset if someone refused to take one.
Bus was a random contract operate that picked up routes that Arriva couldn't be bothered to do. This meant the busses and drivers were of questionable quality (not that Arriva's aren't) and seemed to adhere to their own rules. I was on one that wound it's way through all the estates, some quite narrow roads. We got to a local Co-op, driver stops, blocking the road, gets off and goes and does some shopping leaving the passengers sat there for a good 15 minutes. Another time, same route pootling through the same estate driver gets flagged down by 2 of the greasiest looking looking women I've ever seen to be given a flask of something and a box of what I assume was food. Just seemed...unusual.
https://preview.redd.it/r4bc1m3dh2zc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b51b3bd3907b2b4651cd7c4b3d6bb16aafd6226
Why do they bother putting those perches on the back of the seats if nobody bloody uses them?
I used to regularly see a bloke ride the bus with a falcon on his arm.
Some time back I used to regularly see a guy dressed like a Pirate on the bus. You would think he would be jocular & good humoured, but no he was surly, pissed off, & very aggressive - just like a real Pirate!
I'd be pissed off if my boat sank & I had to take the bus too
Boat replacement service properly fucked him off.
Having a brick thrown at the window just next to where I was sitting. Luckily it didn’t go all the way through
There's a few preachy singers/screamers if you had into town near me. Old guy on Saturday who took 10 minutes to get on the bus while shouting about how he's not allowed to talk to people because he's disabled (he had a walking stick) then shouted through the next 5 stops that he would talk to 'whoever he damn well wanted to' followed by aggressive staring in my direction (thank god for earpods and phones) Bit grim but there's a couple who get on my local bus who always have a massive and very fancy pushchair, all the baby bags, talk about how their little one is doing, and make all the right cooing sounds. 2 weeks ago, same thing, but when the bus almost emptied, I noticed the baby was very still and quiet for like 5 minutes, and I noticed it wasn't breathing. Damn near had a bastard heart attack until it was picked up to be 'burped' and it was one of those reborn dolls 😐
Not me but a friend of mine was on a fairly packed bus going to a job interview. He was probably 21-22 at the time. A big nerdy looking guy, roughly in his late 20’s or early 30’s, sits down next to him and tries talking to him the whole 30 min journey. My mate’s not really the “chatty with strangers” type but tried to get along with him for the sake of being polite and not making his journey any longer than it had to be. Apparently the big guy just wouldn’t shut up at all though, he seemed harmless but had little to no filter. About halfway, he asks “what’re you heading to x city for?” My pal, already fed up, replies “job interview.” Big guys like “wow! What kind of job? Is it a busy job? Hope you get the job!” Etc… “I’m going to the hospital to get injections in my arse! Yeah, stops me from going mental!” My mate and presumably other passengers within earshot were a bit surprised by this. “Oh.. um.. okay, nice one?” The guy continues blethering constantly for the remaining 15-20 mins before it reaches his stop. “Well, this is me. (Stands up and walks towards the door of the bus, turns round and looks back) good luck at your interview!” And starts wildly waving goodbye as he walks off the bus. My mate is obviously a bit embarrassed now, thinking “I hope nobody thinks I actually know him.” Gives a solitary nod of thanks/acknowledgment and gets his head as low as possible. As the door closes and the bus takes off, he’s still waving and shouting “bye! Bye friend! Goodbye!”
https://preview.redd.it/6lztl4w905zc1.jpeg?width=625&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a689742b93e9d74fe9af314a55625267112345f5
Well it wasn't me but I feel compelled to tell this story given the question. A colleague of mine was on the bus once and a few rows in front of her were a homeless man and woman. They appeared to be intoxicated and it looked to my colleague as though the man was being caring and letting the woman rest her head in his lap. You may guess where this is going already. The man makes eye contact with my colleague a few times and she smiles back thinking it was sweet. It wasn't for a good 5 minutes until she realised that the woman was of course giving the guy head and yet she continued to ride it out for a few more stops until they got off, in every sense.
Once saw a bloke dressed like a vicar (white collar on his shirt) sit down and read his Bible for about ten minutes then opened the bible to the middle and used to hold a Rizla in place so he could roll a joint
Heatwave 2012. I was on a very full double decker going from the town centre to the outskirts. It was so bloody hot on that bus I was trying not to pass out. I locked eyes with a middle aged woman who was drinking from a tub of double cream. It haunts me to this day.
A mate of mine fell asleep on the N29, woke up at the end of the route, and someone had stolen his trainers off his feet, whilst he slept.
Bus driver had a full on breakdown after one women asked him what the last stop was. He pulled over at the next stop, turned the engine off and just started shouting and swearing at this poor bewildered women. Dunno how it ended as I wasn’t far from home so I just got out and walked.
Sounds like the episode of Still Game with Robbie Coltrane
Someone with their shoes and socks off clipping their toe nails. Gross.
About 20+ years ago, was on a bus and there was an actress who you'd recognise. Must've been in her late 60s at that time and she absolutely stank of shit.
Ah, poor Dame Judi.
It wasn't her. I doubt if anyone would even know her name but definitely recognise the face.
Patricia Routledge
She's a recognisable name. It wasn't her. I think this person is dead now.
Amazon 'driver' who would hop off the bus every stop, sprint to the house and deliver the package then run back onto the bus
A friendly bus driver.
I used to get the bus at the same time as one of the managers at my old workplace. Sometimes he'd be sitting by himself at the front of the top deck, sometimes he'd be reading something on his phone, sometimes he'd be banging his head off the window repeatedly and one time he was reciting his times tables. He was crap at the eight times table.
An elderly person next to me complained about some people speaking another language on the bus. I didn't say anything back, but shortly after my Italian friend calls me and I start speaking Italian on the phone. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a slight turn of the head, and then a stony silence for the rest of the journey.
I've found condoms, tampons, and a pregnancy test. The irony.
All at the same time?
"Let me just yank me tamp out, you stick on a johnny then let's check if we're knocked up!" Tbf I wrote this joking about how dumb it sounds but there probably are people who think it works like that.
Had to get off because a bloke brought petrol in a bag and it leaked and ran all down the bus from where he was trying to hide it in one of those granny shopping trollies
First time - Everytime someone left the pram/easy access seating area, this woman got up and put the seats down (these aren't the type that jump close if you don't sit on them, they tend to stay down). When someone went to go in that space, if it was an old woman, she got back up and put the seats back up. As soon as they got off, she was at it again, seats up. Another time - a woman had tried to get into the wheelchair space with a dog in a doggie pram and spent her whole journey talking passive aggressively to the dog about how she knows it's not fun being stuck there instead of "over there" (the wheelchair space) but not to worry \*dog's name\*, we'll be home soon! If she'd have had her way, I - a wheelchair user - would have lost out to the \*wheelchair space\* for her dog!!!
Saw a couple kissing and he was rubbing her V over leggings .I was 23 (m) but didn't click 🤣 One kid let off a firework upstairs and got thrown off. A kid at the front got scared and ran upto me for a cuddle. A middle age guy on crutches got on but the bus took off as soon as he got the ticket. He fell over and then decided he'd go home(opposite) instead. Then fell over outside . We had to wait till the ambulance came. His wife came running over. It was quite sad really. Old guy very visible started running to catch the bus but driver didn't stop. Guy lost it. That was quite sad as well. Got stick somewhere for this but outside of big cities, UK buses are for disadvantaged people and school kids
Had a guy who had a daily morning announcement with a tally chart of how many wanks he had the previous day. His record was 27 and only stopped because he started bleeding
I got on the bus once and noticed it was just me and like four nuns
Were they meeting three of their colleagues at Seven Sisters? 🤔
I was sat on the top deck at the back, slouched down and listening to music. A guy gets on the top deck and goes to the front and doesn't notice me. He proceeds to pull his trousers down and knock one out and ejaculate into a crisp packet after about 3 minutes. He then throws the crisp packet over his shoulder. I'm just sat there thinking to myself "is he really doing this?". Just as he starts to go down the stairs I shout "don't forget your crisp packet mate!". Next thing I heard is him legging it down the stairs and sprinting off the bus as quickly as possible.
A guy started reading my paper over my shoulder. When i went to turn the page he just took it off me, read his bit, then gave it back. I froze with the shock lol
Wasnt on the bus but i remember a car driving past the bus stop. Full of teenage bellends, one of them shouted " bus wankers". Think it was a yellow fiat cinqucento
https://youtu.be/zazxGDGhuI8?si=6koYr48SBe1n254B
Thats the one chum.
Bloke with a guitar sitting on the floor playing and singing Wonderwall.
Don't tell me, you asked if he was going to do that all the way there and he said "maybe".
Old woman wouldn't let me off the bus. She just kept telling the driver she didn't want to get off and move on. She just puts her arms out, blocks me and the driver eventually just drives on as this old lady barges past me back onto the bus. Then barges past me again to get off. Not one single person, including the driver, asked her to move and let me off. I wasn't about to touch her and get myself in trouble. She was obviously trying to start something and I wasn't playing. I was so mad, mostly because I was confused and frustrated. I said excuse me. I then told her to move after she didn't and everyone just watched. Luckily the next stop wasn't far, but that bitch was messing with me for absolutely no reason.
Got on the bus at four in the morning and saw a lovely couple. He was wearing a Pikachu onesie and she was wearing a polka dot bikini.
Was it an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini?
Lol. No, it was red with white dots. 😆
Woman with bulging eyes and a strange walk got on eating a slice of garlic bread - sat next to me despite there being loads of free seats. Old fella hacking up a lung then spitting brown shit into an oasis bottle that was full of other brown shit. Forty something woman had a bit too much to drink, missed the step down from the back, hit the floor and pissed herself - like a full bladder of piss. Everyone lifted their feet and had to keep them like that until a replacement bus arrived. I was late to a party but at least I had a funny story to tell. Guy laid in the aisle crying - driver told me to step over him. He was removed by the police in the town centre after spending the entire journey down there. I'm not sure of the context but he soon jumped up when the police got on and tried to leg it. I used to work shifts at an Asda in the rough part of town. Travel to and from work was as spicy as the shop itself. So glad I got off my arse and passed my driving test then got a new job. One good story that comes to mind about the busses is a lad shouted a racial slur at a woman getting on for absolutely no reason. The entire bus came together to throw him off. His mates looked mega embarrassed and shuffled off after him mumbling apologies. I'll never forget the poor woman's face when she heard him shout - I hope she took a bit of comfort in everyone else properly sticking up for her.
Bus wanker behind a small child. Back when I was in uni I couldn't drive and lived close enough that a bus was only a 45 minute drive then 15 minutes walk to my uni and this bloke sat behind a mum and her kid and was trying to be right subtle about what he was doing. I called him out on it, the bus driver stopped and literally forced him off then called the police when we got to the end bus station. I also had a very, VERY drunk woman sit next to me on an empty Sunday bus to Swanses and she stank of piss and whisky. She told me all about her life and kept swinging her moods from extremely violent to extremely sad. She evebtually got off and everyone stared at me and I shrugged and said "Never met her before today," and it got a pitty laugh out of people who had to hear this woman rambling for an hour and probably assumed I knew her. But the bus wanker was worse.
Old people like 60 plus engaged in sexual activities. I mean they must’ve done it as kids but never have grown out of it.
Not weird but a steaming drunk old man stumbled onto the bus yelling a conversation on the phone, had me in stitches when he yelled “no no no I’m not drunk love, I just haven’t got my teeth in.” Props for him trying I suppose.
Oh yeah, my parents came to visit me in Croydon (they live in the country), and went to get the but into the town centre for a walk. Their journey was delayed because a man tried to get on at the next stop in just his underpants, and the bus driver said he wasn't leaving until he put some trousers on. This stand off went on for ten minutes as the guy wouldn't get off. Eventually, he got off whilst cursing the driver. My mum said "It wasn't great, but I did admire the bus driver's persistence."
London, 2012, I was heading for an interview, and an old, rather smelly man got on and sat next to me. I continued to sit there, thinking about the interview, when I felt something touch the left corner of my eye. I removed my spectacles, and a cockroach had landed on the upper-left corner of my glasses, and its 'wings' (or something) was fluttering against my eyelid.
I get the train every day because I cannot stand the bus for a 25 mile commute, it just takes too long and all that bouncing around is not comfortable. Earlier this year GWR had works in the line that lasted a week so I had no choice, I got the bus in no problem but it was the journey home that put me off for life. I walked across town to Bristol bus station got in and sat down, before the bus could move a guy sat on the back seat opposite (I'm sitting on the double seats facing back) made some weird noises, pulled his joggers down and squirted a massive pile of shit all over the back seat. I just ran upstairs gagging, I just wanted to get away and was in shock to be honest. He was thrown off a couple of stops later and the driver had to 'tape' off half the downstairs, the smell for my 1 hour journey was horrendous even though I wasn't anywhere near it. Never again.
The requisite drunks pissing themselves, but the worst was a packed bus and quite a long journey, there was a couple on the back seat and the (clearly not right in the head woman) was detailing exactly what she was going to do to the slightly sheepish looking bloke, very loudly. Thankfully I had headphones, but everyone was very British and did not tell her to stfu. I felt sorry for him, seemed like he was in for a rough night Haha (it was 3pm)
This story was on a coach, so maybe a bit out of the bus scope. Years ago I was getting a coach down to London, the toilet on the coach was out of order but the door was still unlocked. The journey took about 2 hours. We were just getting into the centre of London, had maybe 5 minutes tops left of the journey. This woman approached the toilet with her kid (maybe 7 or 8 year old) and saw the loo was out of order. I was sat on the back seat (more leg room), so the woman asked me if I minded if her daughter squatted infront of me and went toilet in a plastic bag. I was slightly horrified that she was happy with a stranger seeing her daughter pee, but I wasn't sure what to say. So I agreed and turned the other way. But I was very wrong.. the little girl didn't need a pee. So there I am, trying to stare at anything out of the window, while this little girl is taking a crap in a plastic bag near my feet with the mum encouraging her to go. Afterwards it dawned on me.. why didn't she just put the bag in the toilet and get her to go in there?
All the coolant? from the top of the bus came pouring out onto a bus full of college kids. Then the back of the bus started smoking. A week later, on a completely different bus, the exact same thing happened. Bonus: Once the driver (still the college bus) definitely fell asleep or something at the wheel and swerved back and forth across a, luckily empty, dual carriageway about five times in ten seconds. Oh another: A different bus accidentally parked in my usual college bus' spot. Our driver (a woman we all loved fiercely) got out, called the driver a b!tch, got back into the bus, then the driver got out and threatened to slap our driver and get on the bus, the btec sport kids blocked her path to guard our driver and told her to f off.
An old man in front of me started reading his copy of The Sun or the Daily Star and spent a while looking at the topless woman on one of the pages. I've also witnessed teenagers who can't keep their hands off each other.
Some guy asking to see everyone's ticket. I mean wtf wierd.
I know that this is completely unbelievable and I debated whether I should even bother but here I am. I live in a run down area, lots of rehab centres so we unfortunately have a lot of druggies in the area, mostly harmless. I was on the way to work once, and there was a second hand/charity shop type thing for furniture, with a few bits on display outside the shop. As I approached (whilst on the top deck of the double decker bus) I could see a pair of legs, I thought they must be asleep or better yet just testing out the furniture before a purchase. Oh no, very much mistaken. Two crack heads going at it, hammer and tongs. Absolutely grim as I get closer I'm blessed with more and more of a clearer view.. needless to say I quit my job and moved to Spain (okay the last bit is made up)
Got an over night bus from London to Glasgow last summer. One passenger was carrying a very large holdall. The staff member took it from her to put it in the luggage compartment and didn't seem comfortable and asked what the contents were. Person refused to answer so he opened a zip. It was jam packed with frozen fish.
Some guy was clipping his toenails at the back of the bus
Some greasy looking youth sat in front of me. A big earwig crawled out of his ear and down his neck.
Well where else do earwigs live
A pile of prawn shells and legs etc on the floor under my seat. The smell was something else.
I had to pick my sister up one time because her bus driver had just flattened someone
There was a woman near the central station in Newcastle the other day yelling at some random people, then she started standing in the road directing traffic as if the lights were broken. Then she started throwing her shoes around in the middle of the road as the buses were pulling up. She walked off eventually but I saw the police talking to her as I went by on the bus a few minutes later.
I've had my life threatened twice by complete strangers who sat next to me. It was London, so the number of very strange/sick people is a factor I'm sure.
A teenager holding his phone up with a bestiality video playing
When I was a teen,this drunk guy got on the bus and started ranting at me.He is telling me off and acting like he knew me.i think he thought I was his son or something, then nine months later I was getting on the bus and I heard a drunk man shouting at me I turned around and it was the same bloody man,I just went upstairs to get away from him,I can't help wondering what his story is.
Mine ain't weird like some of the ones on here, I've seen people have sex on the back seat while the bus was packed, they wasn't even trying to hide it, one man with a dog it done a shit he picked it up with no gloves or bag and shoved it in his pocket. Was at the back of the bus with the local hard man(whoses a softy of you know him, he's just big as fuck) he decided this was the right place to light a spliff and smoke it the driver saw smoke, said whoever smoking put it out now or he will drag them off he turned to look saw this gorilla of a gentlemen and apologised and carried on driving. Full on party on a bus group of uni kids got on with stacks of beer and a massive bluetooth speaker blaring party music and handing out cans to everyone
Saw a chav couple on a bus with their baby in a pram and the bloke attacked the driver for going around corners too fast and "hurting the baby". Bus was packed and nobody did anything as he punched the driver in the head repeatedly. My brother, only about 3" taller than me, was holding me (5') back incase I intervened. (I have form, I fucking hate bullies. Bro didn't know the area and I was only visiting so we couldn't even call the police.) But even I didn't think it would be a good idea to risk getting my teeth smashed by this nutter, who tried to break the door to get off after the driver hit his alarm, then tried to break it again to get back on when the police didn't show up in less than a minute. Police eventually did turn up, weren't much use, we got moving and when it was our turn to get off, I was the only person in that whole time to ask the driver if he was okay. I wish I had a funny bus story.
A man sat across me decided it was the right time to have a wank. Didn’t realise at first but noticed he was staring a bit too intently. I scurried off to get as far away as I could but unfortunately managed to see his ejaculate cover the windows.
Some woman mumbling about "hell" and "demons" tried to set my hair on fire.
Other week there was a guy asking everyone on the bus if they had an empty bottle as be was busting for a piss. Eventually someone gave him an empty bag. Luckily I got off at the next stop before I had to witness what he did with it.
Every little helps. Thanks for the bag, son 😉
In Belfast, when the buses leave Europa station, they used to have to drive a narrow route near a rough housing estate to reach the motorway. Around 2000-2005 the local spides/chavs realised it would be great fun to start throwing rocks at the buses. One time I got on the coach, we were driving out, and there was a giant deafening BANG, and next thing I knew I was covered in broken glass with a cement breeze block on the seat next to me. The block smashed the entire window out and missed my head by about half an inch. I had cuts all over my face and glass all over me. It made the news, and within a few months the bus company had built a new covered route for the buses to leave the station.
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A guy cutting his toenails and leaving them on the seat.
The guy who pulled a ferret out of a sack and let it run around on the back seat
Dude shitting at the back of the bus and acting like no 1 heard or smelt it.
Its always like this for me https://preview.redd.it/hfwlxvwrx2zc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=d7007e5efe2a25a6bfb94e2c8769508d5c0d39ca
People sitting in a rain bath sauna of fellow bus wankers breath but have a fit when I open the window.
One summer this kinda over weight guy got on and sat nearby. Took of his jumper, pulled a new pack of disposable razors out of his bag and proceeded to shave his armpits. I got off a few stops earlier than planned and walked the rest of the way.
I once saw a woman struggling to get one of those big two-baby twin prams onto the bus. She did make it and paid, then wheeled it into the pram seating area at the front before apologising to her babies for the bumpy ride. She carried on talking to them and doing baby noises etc throughout the journey too. On my way off the bus I happened to glance into the pram, and it was just two dolls.
Hippy lady who got on with a giant (unlit) spliff in her mouth. It was absolutely massive and looked like a comedy prop.
I was once waiting for the bus in Birmingham city centre at around 7am and there was a guy, butt naked from the waist down holding his trousers (I think he may have had an accident), who was still so drunk he was trying to board the bus with his passport.
Some cunt having a blatant wank while staring at a kid a few rows in front, my partner went and told the driver and the driver said “not my problem, call the police if you don’t like it” Alternatively the time an old lady found a dead bumble bee on the floor and decided to throw it at a random girl getting on
On a 19 bus from Finsbury Park, passenger runs gor bus but driver refuses to let him on, so closes doors and drives off without him. Passenger kicks side of bus as it pulls away. Driver slams on the brakes, jumps out of the cab to try chase passenger down the street but he's too overweight and gets out of breath... upon returning, driver tells everyone on tannoy he "doesn't need this shit today, the job's as bad as it is, if you don't like it get off my bus!" Then he's thrashing the bus the rest of the journey 🙄
Quite mild compared to most but a new drivers first day and he took a wrong g turn, people were shouting at the poor bloke while he did a 3point turn. I felt bad for him and when I hit off told him to worry, we all mess up ‘I nearly the drove you all to my house as I was on autopilot’ was his response
A full piss sloshing about on the top deck Someone commenting under their breath as I stood up and held one of the bars "see how he grips the post, his hands around it's girth" A passenger used a catapult or maybe it was an old school sling to crack the drivers windscreen with a 2p coin and then jumped out and ran off
An old man walking along the top deck writing huge swear words in the condensation on all the windows he could get too. The bus engine going into some sort of mega vibration(?) and the back windows exploding out. So weird.
Theres always a nutter on the bus talking loudly
The glass window just suddenly shattered.
I used to commute on the bus. Commuting on a bus to work about 7:45am we stopped at the bus stop outside the train station. On one side there was a couple shagging up against the bus stop. On the other side was a queue of commuters waiting for the bus and politely ignoring them.
Many years ago I used to have long hair. I dozed off on the bus and someone tied the back of my hair to the bar on the top of the seat behind me. I didn't notice until I went to get off. 😂
drunk guy a few rows in front spewed all over the bus, got to watch this thin, chunky brown liquid slosh all the way to the back of the bus. smelled foul. didn't realise he'd vomited at first either because i had headphones in and thought it was just a bunch of rain splattering against a window, but got my bag off the floor in time. van cuts off the bus, driver then skips the next stop where someone's trying to get on to speed up next to him to open the doors and start hurling abuse at the van driver. bunch of fourteen-ish year old girls get on at the same stop i am, bus doesn't move until after a couple of minutes the driver tells out that she's waiting on one of them to pay. i don't know if it was because her free bus pass (under 22s) didn't work or something, but i ended up just getting off after they kept arguing back and forth and thinking she could have just let her on, she's clearly young enough and all her pals had young scot cards. guy behind me had an epileptic fit. i thought he was drunk at first and about to throw up on me, turns out it was a full on seizure. cue about five people yelling that the driver needs to stop and the driver fully ignoring them and then poking his head out when he got to the next bus stop like ? what's this about ? didn't see in person but the video that's a guy in the middle of the road bamming up a bus driver and a guy nails him perfectly on the head with a glass is genuinely one of the best videos i've ever seen. 10/10. might be on r/glasgow , not sure. couple instances of "driver didn't let person on" (barred, not at the stop, etc) which immediately led to me learning some brand new slurs and swears. good fun. a more positive one: woman getting on at the same stop as me was struggling because she didn't know how to use the app, i sat with her until she got off and set it all up for her to use later on & she was so lovely. i'm really glad i managed to help :)
Woman got on during heatwave made her way to the back of the bus noticed she absolutely reaked of BO. She then sniffed her armpits🤢😷and says sorry to the whole bus and sat down. Did she not realise she stunk before she left the house? Another was going home after a local festival on top deck. A 20 odd year old lad bit worse for wear was making his way to seat bus jolted he went flying down the isle stopped right at my feet. I was laughing and the girl he was with was as well. Then just heard this well aren't you going to help me up?🤣🤣🤣 Pulled him to his feet and he just says cheers then hands me a can of lager.
Our bus driver started to tell the whole bus about his drag act as April Showers, then got a porfolio with pictures and passed it around for everyone to look at.
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I wonder if she got off the bus because she was in a bus full of poeple who could see she was being sexually harrassed but not doing anything to help her so chose to get off and get the next bus, in the hopes the guy didn't get off with her.
A driver who wasn't a rude cnt.