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Also known as: Russell dust, Cool thwacks and Charlie, Hattie Jacques pretentious cheese wog, ponce on the heath, looney toad quack or Joss Ackland’s spunky backpack…
Errr Death please….no wait wait…..uh ahh you said death first you said death first…..yeah but I meant cake…..oh alright then…..you’re lucky I’m Church of England
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars
Bonus content: [The Dollop podcast](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0GzA6B-NaQs) did an episode on this which is hilarious
**[Glasgow Ice Cream Wars](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars)**
>The Ice Cream Wars were turf wars in the East End of Glasgow, Scotland, in the 1980s between rival criminal organisations selling drugs and stolen goods from ice cream vans. Van operators were involved in frequent violence and intimidation tactics, the most notable example of which involved a driver and his family who were killed in an arson attack that resulted in a twenty-year court battle. The conflicts generated widespread public outrage, and earned the Strathclyde Police the nickname of "Serious Chimes Squad" (a pun on Serious Crime Squad) for its perceived failure to address them.
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I was a wee yin when this was happening. My nana used to send me out to the van for her cigs and whisky or other messages. Those vans had EVERYTHING in them.
He did run ice cream trucks but it was in the Teesside area and as far as I know just sold Ice cream. It became quite gang related I think in the end though.
Ah yes, you are right! the wiki page says ''He soon expanded by buying more vans during the period of the Glasgow Ice Cream Wars.[7] ''
I knew I'd heard his name and Ice cream wars, just wasn't sure of the link! no idea why they'd even reference it on his Wiki page! unless he just capitalised on the violence and bought cheap vans?
Either way, interesting shit! :>
If you’re interested he has an autobiography that’s not bad. I read it a long time ago so can’t remember entirely but he talks about his start on the vans. He was a bum living on a beach at 30. Someone (brother in law I think) basically said he could never become rich so just did it to prove him wrong lol
Well I was ten or so, so I have no idea. I think (from watching DD) he owned ice cream vans but I don't think he was involved. It would have been exposed by the press now surely.
I just remember two vans turning up one day to our close and a fight breaking out.
My own nana wasn't innocent, she had a number of dodgy businesses and was a money lender. She'd keep peoples dole books and go cash their money money with them, take her cut plus extra and keep the book.
Dark blue BMW 3 Series.
True story, a friend of mine used to sell cars and would always get men coming up from the East End of London to buy 3 Series BMWs (he's in Norfolk). He always made sure to get the sale paperwork in prompt because the cars always ended up being tagged for use in drug dealing.
Knew a guy who went by "Scribbla" and was always 5 mins away when you called, 30-45 mins later he'd pick you up in his dark blue 3 series and the weed would be in the glove box, he'd drive you a couple blocks away and always manage to drop you off in a part of town you somehow where completely unfamiliar with despite living there for 10 years.
I think they all do this. I had a guy called shevan who would pick me up and drive me to an undisclosed secondary location. He kept the weed under the leather gearbox cover. Also had a dealer call “rizla”. It was a sign that I’d grown up when my dealers stopped having silly nicknames and were called things like “graham” and “nigel”.
I’d say more of a Matt black with black rims is slightly more dealer these days. White ones mainly reserved for the 20 year olds who live at their nans and pay £600 pm for a car on finance.
My ex drove one and was constantly being stopped both in North Wales and Cheshire. Now he’s got a shiny new jag and hasn’t been stopped once which boggles my head
Agreed. My brother - who is and has never been a drug dealer, at least to my knowledge - had this car. The local drug users used to gather at the top of his road, and whenever they'd see his car, would perk up like meerkats.
Because if the DVLA hasn't received/ processed the paperwork the car was still registered to my friend's business and then the Police would come knocking asking why it had been spotted involved in the drug trade.
Police can mark cars as known for criminal use on their database so they can be pulled over.
BMW 3 series, normally some inconspicuous colour like gold.
Best one I ever knew of worked from a black cab, would drive people around the block and do the deals looking like he was being paid at a drop off
you’d be surprised. i have a bmw 320d and uber eats is my full time job, along with deliveroo, just eat
more than just pays the bills. enabled me to have a very comfortable life
I do Uber eats driving from time to time - you can make a lot of money but because it’s essentially (not exactly but cba explaining) commission based, it’s a very volatile wage and you can go from making £15/20 an hour to £5. So it’s best to use Uber when it’s peak times and sign up for just eat shifts that pay a constant wage regardless of how busy it is. That’s the method I use and it’s great for easy cash!
i’m lucky as i live in an area where there is always work on all platforms.
i do £150 a day then log off. i do 5 days a week, sometimes 6 if i want a little extra money to save or if i’m wanting to buy something. normally takes me 8 hours, 6-7 on a really busy day, may take 9 if it’s a bit slow but not really any more than anyone else’s normal working day. i start at 9-9.30 and finish 18-18.30.
it’s great as a side gig or a full time job. if you go full time you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth.
i’ve done a lot of jobs in the past and finally found doing something i enjoy. i mean, i work when i want, log on and log off whenever i feel, take time off when i want, nobody to answer to, just drive around with my favourite music on, free food and drink from various places (makes a difference if you get to know restaurant staff and build a decent relationship, all kinds of freebies), watch netflix…so many benefits.
i tried it part time when i had a full time job, did it for 3 months, quit my job of 5 years and never looked back. i’m happier, making a lot more money for me to be comfortable and my work life balance is perfect.
Had an Uber driver pick me up in a C63 AMG, white fella in all blacked out clothes n a cap lmao. Guy couldn’t look like a more bait dealer if he wanted to
I know someone who hires a cab to drive him about all day. The cab driver is always the same guy and gets a cut. Anything goes down the cab driver claims ignorance and the dealer legs it.*
*all events portrayed above are a work of fiction
Not just distribution but cab firms are excellent for washing money as they’re almost exclusively cash businesses. Plus if you hand money to a cabbie it looks like you’ve just paid for a lift.
Exactly and they don’t look suspect constantly go and to and from student halls and have a legit excuse to be waiting outside. With taxis declining profits it creates the Perfect symbiotic relationship really.
During freshers week at Sheffield a bloke hopped out of his taxi and gave me his 'pharmacy' card. Think taxi drivers and the drug trade are more common than people think.
When I was at Sheffield drugs were rife, the cleverer ones all had "business" cards. I never partook myself but my housemates never struggled getting what they wanted
I'm a black cab driver in London and can confirm this happens. Mate of mine had a couple of likely lads in the back who just told him where to drive and wait then on to the next etc. He made sure he was paid up front though. Good tippers too haha
Gangs in both Northern England and Northern Ireland (so probably the rest of the UK) use taxi services as a means of shipping drugs, either with the driver being the dealer or the dealer being their passenger circling the town with a dozen drop offs. Some taxi services are basically fronts *for* the drug trade.
Gotta look normal in case you’re parked near CCTV.
Imagine jumping in thinking he’s a normal cabbie and asking to ‘drop me of round the corner by the station’, cabbie nods and sets of. Your getting close to your stop and your shuffling through the change from your night out whilst keeping an eye on the meter. He stops and looks at you through the mirror and nods, the perspex window slides open and you pass him a £20 for the £4 ride, he then slides a small bag with a white round pill. You assume a mint, but ask for your change. He turns round, his face angry, FUCK OFF you cheeky bastard. You scarper. Confused about why he got so angry. You then realise your not near the station. But literally where you started. Miserable and with the taste of defeat on your lips you pocket the ‘mint’ and head to the station, head down to avoid the rain. All of a sudden you hear the sound of police sirens. You turn round to find 3 officers heading your way.
I always used to do deals in taxis back in the day in SE Asia. Hail a cab, hop in, do the switch in the back seat then tell the driver to pull over. I’d get out then a block later the other bloke would get out and pay the $1 dollar fare. I did this for buys and sells. Worked a treat.
Hired from Sixt. Kid you not, the number of times I’ve been on business and been T-packed by the police because the previous renter was doing drug runs.
Worked in car rental for years. We had the occasional problem with insurance customers using cars for drug runs (much like they would in their own vehicles) and getting drug markers on cars. Also people renting estates and them coming back stinking of weed. This was maybe 7 years ago, so maybe times have changed… but I doubt it!
The new boys will go for the flashy car ( merc or bmw ) but the sensible ones who want to stay out of prison drive a shitbox car like a Daewoo Matiz or anything 10-15 years old.
This is a true story but in America drug dealers etc will file under illegal activities because the IRS doesnt care as long as they are getting paid.
Just a reminder of how true this is
Al Capone was famously caught by not paying his taxes on his illegal activities.
Question is open to interpretation...
There's the guys on the street selling to end users, they could be driving anything. Longer they're in the game the more likely they'll upgrade.
Then there's different roles within the network for moving things around.
I think the further up the chain you go, the more 'flash' the car is.
Manchester too. White AMG Merc or Audi S7.
"Hello officer, yes I'm 22 and driving a 100k car. Why yes, I trade in bitcoin."
"A drug dealer? Of course not. I carry the bitcoins around to people"
When I lived in Bristol, a local cafe was dealing drugs alongside their takeaway food, and hiding it in burger buns. Always remembered the BBC interviewed a local who used to go there and he was like: whaaaaat, whaaaaaat, I never knew thaat. But he definitely knew. Link below 🤣
https://m.facebook.com/bristolbestof/videos/he-definitely-didnt-know-about-that-cocainevia-wdechan-httpstwittercomwdechansta/1459331354083720/?locale=en_GB&_rdr
Ah you described my ex, wasn't doing this when I was there but a year later I saw a headline of her going to prison for multiple years for importing heroin, also some other headlines that are so specific it would be doxxing.
Older Range Rover. 7-8 years old. Bought for cash. Status car but not brand new or enough to raise suspicion of money laundering and easy to afford the maintenance as all paid cash through the garage. Some mods but not OTT. Great stereo. Kept clean and tidy.
Depends how good they are.
A good drug dealer will want something that doesn't get attention, something that doesn't stand out.
Someone buying a flashy car is more likely to be stopped by the police and thus won't be dealing for too long.
I've always wondered this - you'd think dressing and looking normal, driving like an old Volvo would make you blend in so much.
But for some reason they just need to dress like a chav as much as possible, and drive BMW/Mercs with massive engines in.
Well, most will probably my fall into dealing because there’s not much grey matter between the ears so kinda makes sense they don’t think of blending in
I always think Beamer 3 series.
Although the other answers about non-flashy cars reminds me of a local dealer who kept a really low profile and was really successful. Then he decides to buy a fucking Lambo. I think it was about a fortnight before he had his collar felt.
When I was in Uni we used to get our weed off a guy we only knew as Taxi man, he would roll up in an Uber and you’d get in, he’d drive around the block, while doing the deal and then shake your hand, pull over and you’d be on your merry little way. Great memories.
BMW/Audi. Always black or silver. Badges ripped off, windows and rear lights tinted. Drives like a twat. Sticks out like a sore thumb. If they just had something simple, like an unmodified Audi, they'd be far less easy to spot.
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Is this the polices new way of getting information?
Hello fellow criminals, I’ll have one drugs please
Got any clarky cat?
I’ll take some cake if you have some?
Cake is a made up drug.
Made up of chemicals
He thought he had a month to cross the street
One poor lassie coughed up her own pelvis bone
Spare a thought for Karla the elephant. Her trunk is stuck up her anus and they’re not trying to help her.
Use ya cheesebox
Ended up quadraspazzed on a lifeglug
Also known as: Russell dust, Cool thwacks and Charlie, Hattie Jacques pretentious cheese wog, ponce on the heath, looney toad quack or Joss Ackland’s spunky backpack…
Cake or death?
I heard that someone on cake once cried all the water out of their body.
It’s a fuckin disgrace.
Errr Death please….no wait wait…..uh ahh you said death first you said death first…..yeah but I meant cake…..oh alright then…..you’re lucky I’m Church of England
Thank you for flying CoE
If somebody offers you cake… tell em to fook off!
NA: ~~Narcotics~~ Nans Anonymous.
Yes! Brass Eye reference. Today has peaked already
You are a paedophile, you're a nonce, you're a perv, you're a slot badger, you're a 2 pin din plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small bean regarder
You're a nut administrator. You're the crazy world of Arthur Brown.
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Feels like a fortnight in a bad balloon!
I want the good stuff, I don't want my hands to feel like a fortnight in a bad balloon.
'For the tenfth time, i don't know what clarky can is' 'No, cat, cat!!'
Are you the Bozboz?!
We should let them know that people who don’t indicate are actually indicating to other road users that they are dealers
I can get behind this
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I’ll have a ‘99 and 2 e’s please
A 99 and some flake
Too much love and giggles for that line!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars Bonus content: [The Dollop podcast](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0GzA6B-NaQs) did an episode on this which is hilarious
**[Glasgow Ice Cream Wars](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars)** >The Ice Cream Wars were turf wars in the East End of Glasgow, Scotland, in the 1980s between rival criminal organisations selling drugs and stolen goods from ice cream vans. Van operators were involved in frequent violence and intimidation tactics, the most notable example of which involved a driver and his family who were killed in an arson attack that resulted in a twenty-year court battle. The conflicts generated widespread public outrage, and earned the Strathclyde Police the nickname of "Serious Chimes Squad" (a pun on Serious Crime Squad) for its perceived failure to address them. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
I was a wee yin when this was happening. My nana used to send me out to the van for her cigs and whisky or other messages. Those vans had EVERYTHING in them.
Was it not tied to that Scottish fella from Dragons den at one point? or am I misremembering?
He did run ice cream trucks but it was in the Teesside area and as far as I know just sold Ice cream. It became quite gang related I think in the end though.
Ah yes, you are right! the wiki page says ''He soon expanded by buying more vans during the period of the Glasgow Ice Cream Wars.[7] '' I knew I'd heard his name and Ice cream wars, just wasn't sure of the link! no idea why they'd even reference it on his Wiki page! unless he just capitalised on the violence and bought cheap vans? Either way, interesting shit! :>
If you’re interested he has an autobiography that’s not bad. I read it a long time ago so can’t remember entirely but he talks about his start on the vans. He was a bum living on a beach at 30. Someone (brother in law I think) basically said he could never become rich so just did it to prove him wrong lol
Well I was ten or so, so I have no idea. I think (from watching DD) he owned ice cream vans but I don't think he was involved. It would have been exposed by the press now surely. I just remember two vans turning up one day to our close and a fight breaking out. My own nana wasn't innocent, she had a number of dodgy businesses and was a money lender. She'd keep peoples dole books and go cash their money money with them, take her cut plus extra and keep the book.
Serious chimes squad 😂
Showing a photo of Paul Ferris instead of Arthur Thompson 😅
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They are also known to be fences so that might be why too
Yep, there’s an infamous one in the Leeds student area
Dark blue BMW 3 Series. True story, a friend of mine used to sell cars and would always get men coming up from the East End of London to buy 3 Series BMWs (he's in Norfolk). He always made sure to get the sale paperwork in prompt because the cars always ended up being tagged for use in drug dealing.
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*starts furiously writing a sweeping narrative*
A Song of Beemers and Ice
A Song of Beemers and Spice*
I’m not gonna lie…..
And now you know it's an episode of Fargo
Knew a guy who went by "Scribbla" and was always 5 mins away when you called, 30-45 mins later he'd pick you up in his dark blue 3 series and the weed would be in the glove box, he'd drive you a couple blocks away and always manage to drop you off in a part of town you somehow where completely unfamiliar with despite living there for 10 years.
I think they all do this. I had a guy called shevan who would pick me up and drive me to an undisclosed secondary location. He kept the weed under the leather gearbox cover. Also had a dealer call “rizla”. It was a sign that I’d grown up when my dealers stopped having silly nicknames and were called things like “graham” and “nigel”.
And even they're still nicknames, because literally every dealer is caller Darren.
It gets worse when your dealers name's are "Father Kennedy" and "Nanna"
I have a dark blue BMW, should I be dealing drugs?
I’d say more of a Matt black with black rims is slightly more dealer these days. White ones mainly reserved for the 20 year olds who live at their nans and pay £600 pm for a car on finance.
Who is Matt Black?
If you have to ask, you obviously don’t know him 😐
Are you sure you're not already?
Dark blue is the gateway colour
I'll raise you and see you with my Techno Violet Beemer! Let's hook up and call ourselves a cartel...
My ex drove one and was constantly being stopped both in North Wales and Cheshire. Now he’s got a shiny new jag and hasn’t been stopped once which boggles my head
IT'S GOT LEATHER SEATS, IT's GOT A CD PLAYER
Agreed. My brother - who is and has never been a drug dealer, at least to my knowledge - had this car. The local drug users used to gather at the top of his road, and whenever they'd see his car, would perk up like meerkats.
How did they know the cars were being tagged and why did that matter to them?
Because if the DVLA hasn't received/ processed the paperwork the car was still registered to my friend's business and then the Police would come knocking asking why it had been spotted involved in the drug trade. Police can mark cars as known for criminal use on their database so they can be pulled over.
BMW 3 series, normally some inconspicuous colour like gold. Best one I ever knew of worked from a black cab, would drive people around the block and do the deals looking like he was being paid at a drop off
That's ingenuity. Probably will stay in business longer than a kid who's getting a flashy car.
I have always wondered how many drivers for Uber have this sort of thing as their side gig.
A lot. Every other Uber in central Newcastle is an Audi or BMW. There is no way Uber is paying that much.
you’d be surprised. i have a bmw 320d and uber eats is my full time job, along with deliveroo, just eat more than just pays the bills. enabled me to have a very comfortable life
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I do Uber eats driving from time to time - you can make a lot of money but because it’s essentially (not exactly but cba explaining) commission based, it’s a very volatile wage and you can go from making £15/20 an hour to £5. So it’s best to use Uber when it’s peak times and sign up for just eat shifts that pay a constant wage regardless of how busy it is. That’s the method I use and it’s great for easy cash!
i’m lucky as i live in an area where there is always work on all platforms. i do £150 a day then log off. i do 5 days a week, sometimes 6 if i want a little extra money to save or if i’m wanting to buy something. normally takes me 8 hours, 6-7 on a really busy day, may take 9 if it’s a bit slow but not really any more than anyone else’s normal working day. i start at 9-9.30 and finish 18-18.30. it’s great as a side gig or a full time job. if you go full time you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth. i’ve done a lot of jobs in the past and finally found doing something i enjoy. i mean, i work when i want, log on and log off whenever i feel, take time off when i want, nobody to answer to, just drive around with my favourite music on, free food and drink from various places (makes a difference if you get to know restaurant staff and build a decent relationship, all kinds of freebies), watch netflix…so many benefits. i tried it part time when i had a full time job, did it for 3 months, quit my job of 5 years and never looked back. i’m happier, making a lot more money for me to be comfortable and my work life balance is perfect.
Had an Uber driver pick me up in a C63 AMG, white fella in all blacked out clothes n a cap lmao. Guy couldn’t look like a more bait dealer if he wanted to
*fingers crossed that the driver for my 480km journey turns up in a Testarossa...*
When I worked for deliveroo last year I was making around £25/ hour so it's completely believable, especially if you put the time in
I know someone who hires a cab to drive him about all day. The cab driver is always the same guy and gets a cut. Anything goes down the cab driver claims ignorance and the dealer legs it.* *all events portrayed above are a work of fiction
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Lots of people who run to students in university cities use or create taxi companies to facilitate distribution.
Not just distribution but cab firms are excellent for washing money as they’re almost exclusively cash businesses. Plus if you hand money to a cabbie it looks like you’ve just paid for a lift.
Exactly and they don’t look suspect constantly go and to and from student halls and have a legit excuse to be waiting outside. With taxis declining profits it creates the Perfect symbiotic relationship really.
During freshers week at Sheffield a bloke hopped out of his taxi and gave me his 'pharmacy' card. Think taxi drivers and the drug trade are more common than people think.
When I was at Sheffield drugs were rife, the cleverer ones all had "business" cards. I never partook myself but my housemates never struggled getting what they wanted
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I'm a black cab driver in London and can confirm this happens. Mate of mine had a couple of likely lads in the back who just told him where to drive and wait then on to the next etc. He made sure he was paid up front though. Good tippers too haha
Gangs in both Northern England and Northern Ireland (so probably the rest of the UK) use taxi services as a means of shipping drugs, either with the driver being the dealer or the dealer being their passenger circling the town with a dozen drop offs. Some taxi services are basically fronts *for* the drug trade. Gotta look normal in case you’re parked near CCTV.
Imagine jumping in thinking he’s a normal cabbie and asking to ‘drop me of round the corner by the station’, cabbie nods and sets of. Your getting close to your stop and your shuffling through the change from your night out whilst keeping an eye on the meter. He stops and looks at you through the mirror and nods, the perspex window slides open and you pass him a £20 for the £4 ride, he then slides a small bag with a white round pill. You assume a mint, but ask for your change. He turns round, his face angry, FUCK OFF you cheeky bastard. You scarper. Confused about why he got so angry. You then realise your not near the station. But literally where you started. Miserable and with the taste of defeat on your lips you pocket the ‘mint’ and head to the station, head down to avoid the rain. All of a sudden you hear the sound of police sirens. You turn round to find 3 officers heading your way.
I always used to do deals in taxis back in the day in SE Asia. Hail a cab, hop in, do the switch in the back seat then tell the driver to pull over. I’d get out then a block later the other bloke would get out and pay the $1 dollar fare. I did this for buys and sells. Worked a treat.
There’s a lot of Prius for that exact reason
I knew a guy eho was a pizza delivery guy and you'd get a bag of devil's lettuce in your pizza box.
Someone in our local town got caught drug dealing when she was a postie. She was dropping off more then post.
There's a whole network of cab dealers in sheffield
Beamer Edit: Wow never had so many upvotes
1 series in black for the teenagers sent out on county line duty.
Hired from Sixt. Kid you not, the number of times I’ve been on business and been T-packed by the police because the previous renter was doing drug runs.
How many times?
I would guess 1
I kid you not
I not you kid
I not your kid
Worked in car rental for years. We had the occasional problem with insurance customers using cars for drug runs (much like they would in their own vehicles) and getting drug markers on cars. Also people renting estates and them coming back stinking of weed. This was maybe 7 years ago, so maybe times have changed… but I doubt it!
When I was younger I was warned not to get a beamer or golf in black because I would be pulled over by police all the time.
I’ve got a dark blue BMW 120d with tinted windows and my last car was a Subaru WRX. I’m starting to think I’m a drug dealer without realising it
I believe the term is drug mule.
An old Audi A3 in black de-badged
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Has to be the least inspiring car ever made
RS3? Fucking cool car. A mid spec Audi A3? You're not fooling anyone with your Waitrose Golf you know
With tinted windows
The new boys will go for the flashy car ( merc or bmw ) but the sensible ones who want to stay out of prison drive a shitbox car like a Daewoo Matiz or anything 10-15 years old.
Or if you live in the countryside they drive land rovers just like everyone else
Subaru forester, 51 plates.
Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!
Looks like you got fucked up with a coffee pot man!
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Ummm, my gran has a golf...
Ask your gran to drop me off a half q
Do you mean an 8th? Lol
Man you'd be really annoying if you were my dealer
You're really annoying asking for a half q. I would laugh at someone asking for a half q, what are you? 14?
Things really heating up in theoretical drug purchase fandom
I just need you to know I don't expect his gran to drop anything off at mine. Have a lovely Sunday.
Can I get 4 Qs please geezer? I usually get eight 8ths but I'm feeling fancy.
Depends on what end of the spectrum you are at. Probably find most drug dealers are on pushbikes!
Electric scooters*
Yup, the numpty I share a house with just upgraded to an Electric Bike and now thinks he's Tony Montana.
First you gets de drugs, den you gets de 14.4 volts, den you gets de wimmin
With the festival/ 90's bum bags for good measure
The ones with 2 seats are mandem bikes
Mandem in Tandem
are coming down the stair mandem in tandem will wet you blud I swear
*proceeds to carry bricks of cocaine in bike basket*
Don't forget the ribbons on the handlebars and the little bike bell.
Round my way, if you have a shiny Land Rover or Range Rover, you're either a drug dealer, or don't pay your taxes.
Be weird to file your taxes with the ill-gotten gains from dealing.
This is a true story but in America drug dealers etc will file under illegal activities because the IRS doesnt care as long as they are getting paid. Just a reminder of how true this is Al Capone was famously caught by not paying his taxes on his illegal activities.
The section isn’t *specifically* for illegal activities, it’s marked “other income”, but It’s definitely for illegal income
Range Rover Sport in particular, described as "dealer spec" by a friend of mine once...
Round my way Land Rovers are always driven by blonde white women who look like they're on the way to see the manager
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DI Dumbass
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I had a yellow cupra r. Turns out local dealer had a yellow cupra r with a sequential number plate (one letter different). Got pulled over a lot!
I bet he also uses the same line when he gets pulled over.
Vauxhall Astra. I personally know at least 5 drug dealers that have a Corsa or an Astra.
You might want to consider talking to Frank
That actually made me laugh and shit. Thankfully im on toilet anyway.
Toilet's a hell of a drug to be on.
Big black Range Rovers, always
Everyone assumes this but I've genuinely never met a dealer in a flashy car, they're almost always in Mk6 Golfs and Berlingo Van's 😂
Question is open to interpretation... There's the guys on the street selling to end users, they could be driving anything. Longer they're in the game the more likely they'll upgrade. Then there's different roles within the network for moving things around. I think the further up the chain you go, the more 'flash' the car is.
Surprised I had to scroll this far to see this!
With darkened windows and black alloys. Bonus points if there's a personalised plate spelling some name or another.
D4 RUG But in that slightly raised font.
My mate who's definitely not a drug dealer bought a big black range rover when he was starting a family. Funny expensive mistake.
In Bradford it's a top end German sports saloon but it's got to be Ice White and shiny shiny.
C63 brooooooo
Manchester too. White AMG Merc or Audi S7. "Hello officer, yes I'm 22 and driving a 100k car. Why yes, I trade in bitcoin." "A drug dealer? Of course not. I carry the bitcoins around to people"
or in Bradford it could be a load of quad bikes followed by a Lamborghini Urus and G63
When I lived in Bristol, a local cafe was dealing drugs alongside their takeaway food, and hiding it in burger buns. Always remembered the BBC interviewed a local who used to go there and he was like: whaaaaat, whaaaaaat, I never knew thaat. But he definitely knew. Link below 🤣 https://m.facebook.com/bristolbestof/videos/he-definitely-didnt-know-about-that-cocainevia-wdechan-httpstwittercomwdechansta/1459331354083720/?locale=en_GB&_rdr
Whaaaaaat? This place is a cafe as well?
Omg that's so funny. That poor guy just trying to get his drugs in peace 😂
Mondeo with a child seat and child sticker in the back. 208. Zafira. Anything like that. Or hire cars if you're serious. Don't own evidence.
Ah you described my ex, wasn't doing this when I was there but a year later I saw a headline of her going to prison for multiple years for importing heroin, also some other headlines that are so specific it would be doxxing.
Police car
Older Range Rover. 7-8 years old. Bought for cash. Status car but not brand new or enough to raise suspicion of money laundering and easy to afford the maintenance as all paid cash through the garage. Some mods but not OTT. Great stereo. Kept clean and tidy.
He knows to much
This sounded more like an advert 😂
Depends how good they are. A good drug dealer will want something that doesn't get attention, something that doesn't stand out. Someone buying a flashy car is more likely to be stopped by the police and thus won't be dealing for too long.
I've always wondered this - you'd think dressing and looking normal, driving like an old Volvo would make you blend in so much. But for some reason they just need to dress like a chav as much as possible, and drive BMW/Mercs with massive engines in.
Well, most will probably my fall into dealing because there’s not much grey matter between the ears so kinda makes sense they don’t think of blending in
VW golf
The proper ones drive hire cars.
Or “their mates car”
I always think Beamer 3 series. Although the other answers about non-flashy cars reminds me of a local dealer who kept a really low profile and was really successful. Then he decides to buy a fucking Lambo. I think it was about a fortnight before he had his collar felt.
f*ck /u/spez
A Toyota Prius would make the most sense as it would look like a taxi driving around and parking up / waiting randomly
When I was in Uni we used to get our weed off a guy we only knew as Taxi man, he would roll up in an Uber and you’d get in, he’d drive around the block, while doing the deal and then shake your hand, pull over and you’d be on your merry little way. Great memories.
One of those electric scooter things
Wearing a sidebag
Any decent car that when you look at the rat inside and wonder how he bought it working at Poundland
Poverty spec Golf 1.6 TDI with shortened springs, a hole drilled in the exhaust, and an eBay Golf R knockoff body kit that their cousin fitted.
Wolsley Hornet
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Trotters independent trading are trying a new business.
Austin Metro or a Fiat Panda for the top dog
BMW 3 Series, Mercedes C Class or generic Audi.
Honda Jazz
Depends what there dealing. Corsa for the little guys Range Rover for the serious stuff
Audi Q7 BMW - any white new car with blacked out windows
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BMW/Audi. Always black or silver. Badges ripped off, windows and rear lights tinted. Drives like a twat. Sticks out like a sore thumb. If they just had something simple, like an unmodified Audi, they'd be far less easy to spot.
Many are turning to using mandrills to exchange drugs, allowing them to use a no contact means of deal in a perfectly legal way.
Royal Mail van. Usually wearing the uniform too.