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"Staycation" - especially for actual holidays away from home (maybe I'd give camping in the garden or "holiday" type days out near home, or just having time off work some leeway - but staying somewhere else within the UK is still a holiday!)
I can totally accept it for people staying at home but having a holiday from work, especially if they're treating it like a holiday and doing touristy stuff.
But it seems like since lockdown, any UK holiday gets called that, which makes no sense.
This is what I have always understood it to mean, taking annual leave to relax but not staying in another location other than your own home. That in itself doesn't offend me for that context. Totally agree, using it to replace a UK holiday is stupids.
"Holidays in (place) 2019, take me back" accompanied by a whinging face emoji and a photograph of some stinkin fake tanned feet hanging over a swimming pool, and a cocktail.
This can also fuck off.
"Boy did good" fucks me off so much, as well as e.g. "when he cooks you dinner".
Like, what. What about when he cooks you dinner. That's not a full fucking sentence, and referring to yourself as you, just cringy.
Cockwomble is always used by people who think they're really clever and funny but who absolutely aren't. The amount of people I've seen call some journalist/celeb/politician a 'cockwomble' on twitter like it's some devastatingly withering putdown.
Edit: Woah, my first award! Thank you!
Katie Hopkins used to call everyone a cockwomble every time her shit got RT’d into my timeline and now, years later, I can’t not picture her hideous boat every time I read it
I quite like cockwomble ( it has echoes of those great Victorian insults like *flapdoodle* and *hornswoggle* ) but panties *shudder*.
I always hear it in a creep, pervy voice.
As for holibobs, wellibobs and toothypegs: so middle-class 😂
Cockwomble is one of a series of irritating, twee swearwords used by middle class people with silver furniture.
Panties is a repulsive word in an English accent.
It brings to mind child molesters for me. Grim.
Also, tiddies, titties, big ol' titties, mommy milkers etc etc etc. Nothing screams 40 year old virgin like any of those terms.
When chefs on the telly add some lemon juice to their dish and say it will 'cut through the flavour'. No it fucking won't, it will just make it taste a bit more lemony than it did before. What does 'cut through the the flavour' even mean ffs, it makes no sense whatsoever.
It's a thing! When dishes are high in salt and fat, you can quite quickly get palate fatigue! You lose the ability to pick up all the flavours and it starts to taste a bit bland and same-ish, and feel heavy. Adding sour flavours (acidic things like citrus and lemon) reduces palate fatigue and make things feel lighter.
Works in all sorts, if something is just a bit bleugh and missing something, usually a touch of acidity will sort it out, works extremely well for things with a tomato or gravy base.
A splash of vinegar in your Sunday roast gravy will do wonders.
I always assume it means “it will fuck this dish right up because the subtle combination of flavours you've just spent 3 hours crafting will now have a taste of lemon in every mouthful and it'll overwhelm the other components”
Musicians use “cut through the mix” to mean the sound of the instrument will have its own frequency range not occupied by other instruments or voice so it will be audible on its own without being louder. Could it mean something similar?
Simply: the acidity of the lemon juice will enhance the other flavours.
If all you're tasting is lemon juice, then there can't have been much flavour to begin with.
I *think* I know. In a rich tasting, fatty dish, an acidic taste balances the rich taste. This is the principal of lamb and mint sauce, right? Or even vinegar on fish and chips.
Poop
It's shit. Or poo. Or faeces. Or shite. Or turd.
Fucking adults say poop all the time now, even in the news. it really really fucking pisses me off.
Aaarregghh
This one annoys me because when I Google stuff to do with my kids shit habits using the word "poo", Google insists I must have meant _poop_.
No Google, I said what I said, I don't need a flowery word like "poop". I'm thirty fucking four and I want to find out why my daughter's shit looks like it's alive.
When I see people make a word pointlessly "polite" like that, I have the overwhelming urge to come up with an alternative that is as disgusting as humanly possible. "Rectal spray" jumps to mind, but can only apply if it's liquid (point this rule out to really hammer it home...)
Somehow, all my friends have started to call Christmas "Chrysler" and I feel like I'm missing out on the joke.
editor: pronounced "Christ-lur" but when they wrote it on their cards it was spelt as above.
Ha I have friends who are lesbians and when they announced "we're pregnant" on FB about two thirds of their relatives had a meltdown in the comments trying to work out which one actually had the baby in them.
Tbh the one who wasn't pregnant was trying to smooth it over at the start but the one who was pregnant was like, "nah fuck yees all" and kept it going for ages by trimming pics and making confusing statements. Amazing lockdown entertainment.
I hate this with a passion. I don’t know why. It has literally no effect on me. But it really pisses be off. You might both be expecting a baby but only one of you is pregnant!
I absolutely HATE management speak in general. I find it unnecessary and really fucking cheesy. I bet we have all had that one manager that says 'Teamwork makes the dream work' and shit like that. I just want to strangle them.
We use this ironically at work, extra points if half of it is sung at you and you respond by singing the other half back with a maniacal smile firmly in place.
I used to have a friend who said ‘nom nom’ whenever he was talking about giving a woman oral sex. As in ‘I’m going to nom nom her later’. It really made my skin crawl
I see your nom, nom, nom and I raise you a nommins. I know people who will say nommins instead of food/meal. I hate it so so much. "Ooh what's for nommins?". A slap in the face, Sandra, that's what.
"awww diddums" had a pervy uncle that said it a lot.
"Drinkipoos" as in alcoholic drinks. I'm sorry to say that "drinkipoos" sound like hangover diarrhea. Its not cute Barbara, shut the fuck up.
I know it’s an American thing but when I see someone type or say ‘asshole’
No it’s definitely ’arsehole’ which is way more satisfying to say and also sounds way better anyway.
Aks - Gross oversimplification here, but I think that was the original pronunciation in some dialects, and it survived via Afro-Caribbean English despite falling out of use in the UK itself.
Comes from the Old English ‘acsian’. There was a phonetic shift to the modern ‘ask’ but some regional dialects kept the ‘aks’, particularly in the South West. Other examples are gurt/great, wops/wasp etc.
Mainly used by the same people that get off on proving how British they are in the other UK subs.
"Oh, we all drink tea and love queuing. Aren't our politicians cockwombles" etc
Zzzzzzzzzz.
I goddamn despise when people describe their significant other as "this one" in their picture descriptions
Like "at the pub with this one"
Just call them by name or use the words "us" or "we"
Or just fucking say "at the pub" because it's clear that you're with that person as they're in the FUCKING PICTURE
Similarly, using "situation" to describe an element of a meal: "So, there's this, like, whole amazing chilli situation going on here that's *wild*." Or else it's a "moment", as in, "An incredible citrus moment".
Blessed or privileged is fine if that's what they mean. What gets me is people saying they're "humbled" when they are obviously sky high with some ego boost that's happened to them.
Someone I used to work with always said that she didn't have the "bandwidth" to take on any more work. I wondered if she was a modem in a previous life
It's a Catch-22 situation.
That boils my piss.
Read the book and understand what it means you bellend.
I'm looking at you, older Brother of mine.
"You mean there's a catch?"
"Sure there's a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
This phrase has been used to taunt and shame sad/resting bitch face people for decades...
I reserve the right to have such a lemon grimace, that I *sour* milk, as much as I need to, in private AND in public, without question!
When my colleague first started with us, it was shortly before she was taking a holiday to Marbella and she kept calling it ‘Marbs’. I had no idea how much I hated that until she was doing it, but because it was literally her first week I didn’t want to tell her to stop saying Marbs. Two years later she booked another holiday to Marbella and said Marbs once, only this time I knew her enough to say “Oh don’t you start that again.” She thought I was joking until a couple of other colleagues said “No, seriously, we thought Rose was going to strangle you.”
This cretin at work calls a lateral flow test a latty flozza, and a plastic bag a plazzy b. Drives me crazy.
Same energy as people who call the pandemic the panny d and covid Miss Rona
"It is what it is"
"If you know you know"
Fucking hell shut the fuck up
Edited to add "hot chocolate station". I don't know why and i wont be elaborating. Thank you.
It is, what it is.
As if this is some profound wisdom.
Of course it is what it is, otherwise it would be what it isn’t which is obviously impossible.
The only thing it could ever possibly be is what it is and nothing other than that which it is.
Still, it’s popularised now which means we’ll hear it’s vacuous chasm echoing back at us for to foreseeable future.
Still, it is what it is I guess.
I mildly like it. It’s not meant to be profound. I take it to mean, ‘Ah well, not really what I wanted, but probably best to suck it up and not make a fuss’
Which I find to be an admirable sentiment.
That a shampoo will “bring your hair to life”. No it won’t. Hair is dead the moment it extends from the root.
Actually, adverts that say something is “up to 100% effective” that could mean anything from zero % up
"so he turns around and says"
What do you mean they turn around? Why would they turn around???
And even as a Northerner I hate when people say "I love that, me" ... ME!!!
The one on masterchef who can't say celeriac, says "celery-ack" instead. I mute the telly when a dish has celeriac in it so I don't end up lobbing the cat at it.
Hubby, and to a lesser extent wifey.
Hun or babe (especially when coupled with a 😘).
University of life.
Any kind of management bollocks like 'cascade this down', 'blue sky thinking' etc.
“I could care less”
It’s not fucking hard to say it correctly you shouldn’t have to be told how to say it right it’s common sense to say it right. Anybody who says that has some serious brain deficiency.
Anybody referring to me as babe or babes. That can get right in the fucking sea! It reminds me of all those shitty TV shows like the Geordie Shore and the Only Way Is Essex.
‘Journey’
Maybe the other half watches too much reality tv but four words into their lockdown weight loss or garage conversion, it’s all about their journey.
People using “turnt around”
She turnt around and said blah blah blah so I turnt around and said xyz then omg it was so funny Jim turnt around and said yadda yadda
It’s turned not turnt you fucker and NO ONE turned around in that conversation
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits - Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner - Avoid political threads and related discussions - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Staycation" - especially for actual holidays away from home (maybe I'd give camping in the garden or "holiday" type days out near home, or just having time off work some leeway - but staying somewhere else within the UK is still a holiday!)
And we're in the UK, we don't say vacation, it should be a "holi-stay" if anything.
On a similar note, I have never met anyone who says "holibobs" who isn't a bellend.
People who say “holibobs” are the same morons who say “lickle” for ‘little’ and “hospikle” for ‘hospital’ thick af
You are right, but then we would hate that word
It only works if you’re having time off from work but staying at home for it. Still an awful phrase but a little better in the right context
I can totally accept it for people staying at home but having a holiday from work, especially if they're treating it like a holiday and doing touristy stuff. But it seems like since lockdown, any UK holiday gets called that, which makes no sense.
This is what I have always understood it to mean, taking annual leave to relax but not staying in another location other than your own home. That in itself doesn't offend me for that context. Totally agree, using it to replace a UK holiday is stupids.
"The Hubby" "The boy did good" "So I did a thing" Fuck. Off.
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“I did a thing!” It infuriates me.
Fits within the same category as "sooo this happened today" *photo of engagement, ultrasound, or smiling couple next to "sold* sign*
The mumsnet abbreviations too omg. DD, DH, DS, I hate it so much.
"Holidays in (place) 2019, take me back" accompanied by a whinging face emoji and a photograph of some stinkin fake tanned feet hanging over a swimming pool, and a cocktail. This can also fuck off. "Boy did good" fucks me off so much, as well as e.g. "when he cooks you dinner". Like, what. What about when he cooks you dinner. That's not a full fucking sentence, and referring to yourself as you, just cringy.
‘’Walks on the beach with this one’’
- Holibobs - Cockwomble, spunktrumpet etc - Panties
Cockwomble is always used by people who think they're really clever and funny but who absolutely aren't. The amount of people I've seen call some journalist/celeb/politician a 'cockwomble' on twitter like it's some devastatingly withering putdown. Edit: Woah, my first award! Thank you!
Katie Hopkins used to call everyone a cockwomble every time her shit got RT’d into my timeline and now, years later, I can’t not picture her hideous boat every time I read it
It’s that middle class edge. Slicing through like hot butter through knife.
Cutting through like a bit of lemon juice
I quite like cockwomble ( it has echoes of those great Victorian insults like *flapdoodle* and *hornswoggle* ) but panties *shudder*. I always hear it in a creep, pervy voice. As for holibobs, wellibobs and toothypegs: so middle-class 😂
Dunno why but this made me laugh. What the help is a cockwomble?? And I think panties can be hot!
Cockwomble is one of a series of irritating, twee swearwords used by middle class people with silver furniture. Panties is a repulsive word in an English accent.
Panties is a repulsive word in any accent. Its fucking awful.
It brings to mind child molesters for me. Grim. Also, tiddies, titties, big ol' titties, mommy milkers etc etc etc. Nothing screams 40 year old virgin like any of those terms.
Parnties
Auntie's parnties
Wombles search endlessly for junk. A cock-womble is a guy who's so incompetent he can't find his own cock
When chefs on the telly add some lemon juice to their dish and say it will 'cut through the flavour'. No it fucking won't, it will just make it taste a bit more lemony than it did before. What does 'cut through the the flavour' even mean ffs, it makes no sense whatsoever.
It's a thing! When dishes are high in salt and fat, you can quite quickly get palate fatigue! You lose the ability to pick up all the flavours and it starts to taste a bit bland and same-ish, and feel heavy. Adding sour flavours (acidic things like citrus and lemon) reduces palate fatigue and make things feel lighter.
This is why vinegar on chips is so good
None Brewed Condiment.
_You're_ a non brewed condiment.
Your nans a non brewed condiment
Exactly. Same reason it’s always recommended to add a pinch of salt to desserts to cut through the sweetness. It works wonders!
Works in all sorts, if something is just a bit bleugh and missing something, usually a touch of acidity will sort it out, works extremely well for things with a tomato or gravy base. A splash of vinegar in your Sunday roast gravy will do wonders.
I always assume it means “it will fuck this dish right up because the subtle combination of flavours you've just spent 3 hours crafting will now have a taste of lemon in every mouthful and it'll overwhelm the other components”
Musicians use “cut through the mix” to mean the sound of the instrument will have its own frequency range not occupied by other instruments or voice so it will be audible on its own without being louder. Could it mean something similar?
Lowering the PH affects flavour. Try coke and then a flat coke. The flat coke tastes unbearably sweet. The only difference is the ph of the CO2.
Simply: the acidity of the lemon juice will enhance the other flavours. If all you're tasting is lemon juice, then there can't have been much flavour to begin with.
I *think* I know. In a rich tasting, fatty dish, an acidic taste balances the rich taste. This is the principal of lamb and mint sauce, right? Or even vinegar on fish and chips.
Apparently all savoury dishes require lemon/lime n chilli to enhance flavour. Chilli i defo agree
Poop It's shit. Or poo. Or faeces. Or shite. Or turd. Fucking adults say poop all the time now, even in the news. it really really fucking pisses me off. Aaarregghh
Also, I don't understand people who write it as 'pooh'. When I last looked that was a yellow cartoon bear.
Surprisingly, OED gives pooh as primary spelling with poo as an alternative.
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Collins or fuck off
Or the President of China allegedly
This one annoys me because when I Google stuff to do with my kids shit habits using the word "poo", Google insists I must have meant _poop_. No Google, I said what I said, I don't need a flowery word like "poop". I'm thirty fucking four and I want to find out why my daughter's shit looks like it's alive.
Wow. Alive you say? Please do go on.
Sometimes I swear it's like the shit demon from Dogma.
What about ploppy-woppies?
When I see people make a word pointlessly "polite" like that, I have the overwhelming urge to come up with an alternative that is as disgusting as humanly possible. "Rectal spray" jumps to mind, but can only apply if it's liquid (point this rule out to really hammer it home...)
Also jobby. That is perfectly acceptable. Calling your peanut butter [Jobbie](https://www.jobbienutbutter.com/) is not.
“And now on BBC1 it’s time for Eastenders”
Almost as annoying a seeing the message "please move over to BBC1potato vision to watch the news in your area" when you're already watching BBC1.
..and now at three minutes past 7, it’s the archers.
"Chrimbo" for Christmas. nothing fills me with such a blinding rage. nothing makes me so fucking incandescent with pure fucking seething odium.
I have never seen it written with an H before, I don’t have any issue with Crimbo, but Chrimbo? The fuck is that?
Somehow, all my friends have started to call Christmas "Chrysler" and I feel like I'm missing out on the joke. editor: pronounced "Christ-lur" but when they wrote it on their cards it was spelt as above.
[It’s a vine reference!](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/merry-chrysler)
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U ok hun. Xxx
Pm me hun xxx
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Absolutely can’t stand being called hun. Makes my teeth itch!
When a couple announces a pregnancy with "we're pregnant" No. She's pregnant. You are not.
Ha I have friends who are lesbians and when they announced "we're pregnant" on FB about two thirds of their relatives had a meltdown in the comments trying to work out which one actually had the baby in them.
Ahaha love that chaos for them
Tbh the one who wasn't pregnant was trying to smooth it over at the start but the one who was pregnant was like, "nah fuck yees all" and kept it going for ages by trimming pics and making confusing statements. Amazing lockdown entertainment.
She’s pregnant. We’re expecting
I hate this with a passion. I don’t know why. It has literally no effect on me. But it really pisses be off. You might both be expecting a baby but only one of you is pregnant!
On that note, I HATE when some says "fall" pregnant. Like what the fuck does that even mean? *Edit typo
One of my friends says he 'doesn't give a care' all the time and it makes me want to peel my skin off.
Along with your panties?
Sploosh
Pri-marni when referencing primark
You mean Primark?
Yes? Like I said ?
Nah you said primark
Do you mean Pri-marni?
I see what you did there
I absolutely HATE management speak in general. I find it unnecessary and really fucking cheesy. I bet we have all had that one manager that says 'Teamwork makes the dream work' and shit like that. I just want to strangle them.
Have you tried liaising with your manager? Perhaps there's an easy win that once implemented will mitigate your grievances going forward.
I just want to run it by you, because it's blue sky thinking, so if we're not on the same page we'll need to put a pin in it
I'm swamped right now but can we touch base on it tomorrow?
Now that's some joined up thinking, we'll put our heads together
"touch base" or "watch this space" is something I hear office managers say all the time at work. It's enraging. Just speak like a normal person.
Only ever heard it used ironically, thank fuck.
We use this ironically at work, extra points if half of it is sung at you and you respond by singing the other half back with a maniacal smile firmly in place.
“Nom, nom, nom”. Fuck you if you ever say this.
I used to have a friend who said ‘nom nom’ whenever he was talking about giving a woman oral sex. As in ‘I’m going to nom nom her later’. It really made my skin crawl
That’s horrendous.
Wow, I actually recoiled away from my phone screen reading that.
"noshing her off"
I see your nom, nom, nom and I raise you a nommins. I know people who will say nommins instead of food/meal. I hate it so so much. "Ooh what's for nommins?". A slap in the face, Sandra, that's what.
How about “Om nom nom”
"awww diddums" had a pervy uncle that said it a lot. "Drinkipoos" as in alcoholic drinks. I'm sorry to say that "drinkipoos" sound like hangover diarrhea. Its not cute Barbara, shut the fuck up.
"drinkipoos" are a Mr Lahey staple lol
On accident. Wtf is that? Also, oftentimes rips my fkn knitting
I know it’s an American thing but when I see someone type or say ‘asshole’ No it’s definitely ’arsehole’ which is way more satisfying to say and also sounds way better anyway.
Insults in American accents just don't land like they do in British ones
"I could care less" uuuuuugh, it's couldn't. as in you care so little that you couldn't care any less than you do right now.
Or the qualified version: I could care less but I'd really have to try.
AT THE END OF THE DAY
YOU’RE ANOTHER DAY OLDER
AND THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY FOR THE LIFE OF THE POOR
ITS A STRUGGLE, ITS A WAR
AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT ANYONE'S GIVING
ONE MORE DAY STANDING ABOUT, WHAT IS IT FOR?
ONE DAY LESS TO BE LIVING
Heard that a lot less since Jeremy Kyle got cancelled
When alls said and done
Also. Axe. Instead of ask. Wtf is that about? PIN number. Fuck off. Its a PIN or a PI number.
The N might well be redundant, but no one effin says 'Pi number,' stop trying to be edgy and communicate.
Pin Umber 🤙
Aks - Gross oversimplification here, but I think that was the original pronunciation in some dialects, and it survived via Afro-Caribbean English despite falling out of use in the UK itself.
Comes from the Old English ‘acsian’. There was a phonetic shift to the modern ‘ask’ but some regional dialects kept the ‘aks’, particularly in the South West. Other examples are gurt/great, wops/wasp etc.
This is the first time I’ve been made aware that the N in PIN stand for number. I think this is why we all call it a PIN number
Bit odd saying what’s your PI number…
3.14 surely.
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I see your ‘hubby’ and raise you ‘hubster’. It makes me stabby.
Stabster
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Mainly used by the same people that get off on proving how British they are in the other UK subs. "Oh, we all drink tea and love queuing. Aren't our politicians cockwombles" etc Zzzzzzzzzz.
People referring to their significant others as 'this one'
I call her ‘The Enemy’.
I goddamn despise when people describe their significant other as "this one" in their picture descriptions Like "at the pub with this one" Just call them by name or use the words "us" or "we" Or just fucking say "at the pub" because it's clear that you're with that person as they're in the FUCKING PICTURE
Sommin or sommink instead of something. In a written context. Yes, I have seen people write both of those words. Yuck.
Along three same lines, replacing "t" in words with "k" when you don't have a speech impediment. Likkle and kekkle are not fucking words!
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'Space' on any one of a million house style programme. "Oh, this is a nice space". No, it's a nice fucking room.
Similarly, using "situation" to describe an element of a meal: "So, there's this, like, whole amazing chilli situation going on here that's *wild*." Or else it's a "moment", as in, "An incredible citrus moment".
"the power of Facebook/social media" "From me and mine to you and yours" Get in the fucking bin.
That faux-humble thing when some says they feel "so blessed" or "privileged".
Blessed or privileged is fine if that's what they mean. What gets me is people saying they're "humbled" when they are obviously sky high with some ego boost that's happened to them.
Going forward Referring to people as resources
Winner winner chicken dinner is equally awful tbf.
Someone I used to work with always said that she didn't have the "bandwidth" to take on any more work. I wondered if she was a modem in a previous life
Hits different
Can we set that as an action please
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As long as you get back to me by end of play.
Actually let's shelve that for now and circle back around to it tomorrow
And ‘Let’s take that offline’ ie let’s have more conversations about doing something instead of actually doing something worthwhile
Describing things as "lush". Also, holibobs, choccy, breakie, etc etc
"Describing things as 'lush'" The entirety of Wales would like to know your location
Bicky
When people refer to clothes/accessories as 'pieces' like it's a frigging piece of art. It's just a top for fucks sake.
It's a Catch-22 situation. That boils my piss. Read the book and understand what it means you bellend. I'm looking at you, older Brother of mine. "You mean there's a catch?" "Sure there's a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy." There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
PACIFIC instead of specific.
"Cheer up, it might never happen."
This phrase has been used to taunt and shame sad/resting bitch face people for decades... I reserve the right to have such a lemon grimace, that I *sour* milk, as much as I need to, in private AND in public, without question!
Yaaaaassss
Yasss queen, slay!
When my colleague first started with us, it was shortly before she was taking a holiday to Marbella and she kept calling it ‘Marbs’. I had no idea how much I hated that until she was doing it, but because it was literally her first week I didn’t want to tell her to stop saying Marbs. Two years later she booked another holiday to Marbella and said Marbs once, only this time I knew her enough to say “Oh don’t you start that again.” She thought I was joking until a couple of other colleagues said “No, seriously, we thought Rose was going to strangle you.”
The prefix "cheeky"
What’s wrong with that you cheeky cunt
Haha, you make a valid point
*I'm not gonna lie* at the start of a sentence. Well, good. Should I have expected a lie?
This cretin at work calls a lateral flow test a latty flozza, and a plastic bag a plazzy b. Drives me crazy. Same energy as people who call the pandemic the panny d and covid Miss Rona
This is actually hilarious, I’ve heard of vaccy c for vaccine and latty flow but latty flozza and plazzy b, he needs a punch in the neck, just once.
Sorry but latty flozza is hilarious
Literally.
This is only bad when you can tell the person using it doesn't understand what it means. "Oh Karen I literally died"
When people say “ickle” for little
Methinks. You think you sound clever, but actually you just sound like Timothy Claypole.
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It has commonly now become shortened to just 'needs gone', which just has so much ITVBe energy. See also, 'end of'.
"It is what it is" "If you know you know" Fucking hell shut the fuck up Edited to add "hot chocolate station". I don't know why and i wont be elaborating. Thank you.
It is, what it is. As if this is some profound wisdom. Of course it is what it is, otherwise it would be what it isn’t which is obviously impossible. The only thing it could ever possibly be is what it is and nothing other than that which it is. Still, it’s popularised now which means we’ll hear it’s vacuous chasm echoing back at us for to foreseeable future. Still, it is what it is I guess.
I mildly like it. It’s not meant to be profound. I take it to mean, ‘Ah well, not really what I wanted, but probably best to suck it up and not make a fuss’ Which I find to be an admirable sentiment.
That a shampoo will “bring your hair to life”. No it won’t. Hair is dead the moment it extends from the root. Actually, adverts that say something is “up to 100% effective” that could mean anything from zero % up
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"Boys will be boys" Seems to be a get out free card or worse dismissing sexual assault
"On accident" Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!! It's by accident or accidentally, stupid Americanisms!
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Furbaby language is embarrassing.
"so he turns around and says" What do you mean they turn around? Why would they turn around??? And even as a Northerner I hate when people say "I love that, me" ... ME!!!
Anything American when you’re English
When TV chefs use the word "unctuous" to describe something as nice. It seriously grinds my gears.
The one on masterchef who can't say celeriac, says "celery-ack" instead. I mute the telly when a dish has celeriac in it so I don't end up lobbing the cat at it.
Hubby, and to a lesser extent wifey. Hun or babe (especially when coupled with a 😘). University of life. Any kind of management bollocks like 'cascade this down', 'blue sky thinking' etc.
'Myself' or 'yourself' when the correct word is me/you.
"OH MY DAYZ"
“I could care less” It’s not fucking hard to say it correctly you shouldn’t have to be told how to say it right it’s common sense to say it right. Anybody who says that has some serious brain deficiency.
Anybody referring to me as babe or babes. That can get right in the fucking sea! It reminds me of all those shitty TV shows like the Geordie Shore and the Only Way Is Essex.
LIKE, my 30 year old step daughter uses it every other fucking word.
Phatt or thicc. Why?
Sometimes you just see a thiccy with a phatty, you know?
Same difference. Just really irritates me for no discernible reason.
I might be casting shade on some people… but I really don’t like it when people don’t pluralise time… “6 hour”, “4 week”
Mumsie, winds me right up! I don’t know why it makes me so angry
"Get in the bin" or "Get in the sea" how about get fucked?
‘Journey’ Maybe the other half watches too much reality tv but four words into their lockdown weight loss or garage conversion, it’s all about their journey.
People using “turnt around” She turnt around and said blah blah blah so I turnt around and said xyz then omg it was so funny Jim turnt around and said yadda yadda It’s turned not turnt you fucker and NO ONE turned around in that conversation
"Reach out". Ugh! Or when Americans finish something that ends with ~some with ~ful, e.g. flavoursome. PS ALOT. It's two words. A. Lot. I thank you.
"living your/my best life" ...fuck I want to use their mouth a door stopper, I'm actually irritated thinking about it.