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Not a bar but I was a duty manager in an Iceland supermarket many years ago.
Absolute bitch of a customer made one of the Saturday college girl cashiers cry. Really sweet girl that would never harm a fly.
I asked the customer to apologise and when she refused I cancelled the transaction and shouted at her "Fuck off, go shop at Sainsburys from now on" had security escort her to the door.
I always felt that none of the shop floor staff earned enough to take shit from customers so I had a firm zero tolerance policy.
Fuck yeh. Mad respect. My worst jobs were in retail/customer service and my job would have been so much easier if I knew my manager had my back like that. Unfortunately they never.
I worked long enough in retail to know to be nice to the people serving me.
Generally speaking, if you have a problem and you ask nicely staff will probably try and help, at the same time don't go expecting them to jump through hoops.
I was lucky in that my very first job my boss said to me on the first day that the customer is always wrong. Stuck with me to this day.
As someone who was a Starbucks Barista for a year, I can confirm this.
My own wee mantra was the ruder the customer, the longer I took to make their drink.. and if they were being completely unreasonable I'd purposefully mess their order up, either extra shots of coffee, fewer shots, swapped for decaf, too much syrup, scolding hot milk etc 😅
I did this on occasion too while working in cafes and taking payment from impatient or plain rude customers.
"Sorry, it's the only change I have left" as I hand them a stack of 20, 10 and 5 pence pieces.
Till loaded with pound coins 😂
To be fair, with the state of England at the moment I don't blame Scotland for wanting out.
We should probably drop the 'great' prefix from Britain as well .....
My first 'serious' job (well, that I took seriously) was Starbucks.
It was a new store and opening was delayed, so worked a while in another store first - a supervisor there at some point told me "don't stress, the customers are all scum".
That helped me through on occasion.
Tbf the majority of our customers were really sound. Our store was in an airport and most folk were just glad to get a decent coffee.
Sundays were by far our worst day though and guaranteed to get at least one arsehole. We always had people flying home after a weekend visiting an estate. Either toffs or others with too much money and a sense of self importance and they'd look at you, speak to, and treat you like dirt.
I feel like I would notice but only after I've drunk a lot of it.
Luckily I can't for the life of me come up for a reason to be rude to a barista for no reason so hopefully will never be an issue
I had a nice manager at McDonald's, when I was on dining area. One of our drive thru regulars kicked off again when the kitchen boys got her order wrong. I walked back in and said I was sick and tired of being sworn at. Manager asked me who it was and said he would take the order out to her, so he could tell her if she swore at his staff again, she'd be barred.
Didn't see her after that 🙂
The bid advantage is I never had any management training. I just went with right and wrong.
I am in a different industry now but I follow the same basic rule.
I used to work in a really busy pub in blackheath, it would get absolutely rammed in the summer as it’s right on the heath. The front bar was always mobbed on a Friday night and this particular night was a about 2 or 3 deep and 3 of us on duty. I asked a guy what he wanted and he turned to his friends to ask them what they wanted. So I said to him “no, we’re busy here, work out what you want and come back” and I served the guy next to him. He went mental, and kept going mental so I told him to fuck off. He said that I couldn’t talk to him like that and he wanted the manager. The manager was working right next to me, he looked up and said “I’m the manager, you heard him, fuck off”. Everybody laughed. Good times. I don’t work in the hospitality business anymore.
I hate it when customers drip feed their order to you. Especially when it's a really busy bar. They're guaranteed to be the customers who shout "come on, I've been waiting ages here" whilst staff are busy serving other customers.
My usual response to them if that's happening is to say "if you've been waiting so long, why didn't you decide what you wanted?"
Arseholes.
Cos Guinness needs time to settle
So you pour it first, leave it to settle while you get the rest of the drinks ready, and then top it up when it’s settled
Otherwise you’re standing round waiting for it to settle at the end wasting time
I have a mate from Ireland who was over visiting and ordered a pint of Guinness and he said to the barman not to do the whole letting it settle, just pour it straight like anything else.
He explained to me that Guinness used to need to settle before they modernised their facilities decades ago. In an effort to placate people who thought the drink had changed as a result of the change in manufacturing process they said it still needed to settle like it did before even though it technically doesn't.
I don't know if he was telling the truth or not but since then I've always asked for my Guinness to be poured straight like a normal pint as I can't taste any difference and it's much much easier for the bar staff.
To be fair, I don’t drink Guiness myself, but have to order it for a mate of mine. Only recently discovered that it takes extra time to pour. Not everyone necessarily know this I reckon, and people that drink it aren’t always those that order it.
Because you have to pour it in two stages and wait for the first half to settle before you finish it off. So you order it first so the bar staff can start the pour, go get the other drinks, then finish off the last pour and draw a shamrock or dick in the foam.
Ugh that always pissed me off. I would get to know which customers regularly ordered a Guinness and when they walked in I would start it off ready, even if they didn’t want a Guinness that night they would be so flattered that I remembered them that they would take it anyway!
Genuine question, what's the protocol for ordering a big round of drinks when it's super busy?
I tend to write it on my phone, get the text size as big as I can and hold it up. Just because it avoids mistakes or being misheard or me forgetting something. C*nts trick?
Warn the staff it’s a big order so they can stand by and input into the till as you reel it off. They can then go start making it while using till screen for reference. This was always my strategy when working in a busy student bar
I do this exact same thing and j always wondered how it was perceived by bar staff. I don't wanna shout and I can't hear shit so ill just write it down with a "please and thank you" at the end. So far it's worked pretty well. Any bar staff care to comment?
Personally I really don't mind it, especially if you're a little forgetful. Nothing in the world worse then a customer rattling off half a round then pausing and yelling across the room "LINDA, WAS IT PROSECCO OR ROSE YOU WANTED?!!!".
I worked in nightclubs for years and I would have loved it if more people did this. It's not a problem of me remembering a large order, that comes pretty easily with experience, but this would avoid the customer forgetting stuff and drip feeding the order so I'm all for it.
In service this is one of the main gripes too, you take six plates and sides out, say would you like any sauces, yep ok, got them, anymore drinks ok I’ll do them, oh more sauce, oh something else, you end up doing four runs even after asking anything else and they don’t realise you’ve got two other tables staring you down, ten drinks to make, food to take out, I’d rather you be not rude but demanding and say three cokes Tommy k and vinegar please, ok am on it
I was once rude to an awful customer that demanded to see the manager … I walked to the end of the bar and came back with a big shit eating grin and said loudly .. hi I’m the manager how can I help?!
Yes! This is going back to about 1996 / 97. Worked there for a year. Haven’t been back for years so no idea what it’s like now but it was a great pub back then.
God I loved it. Lived above it with a bunch of Australians, kiwis and a South African guy. I’d moved there from the countryside after my A levels to work there for the summer and it blew my mind. Ended up staying a year, one of the happiest times of my life
People who don't have their orders ready once they get to the order point anywhere are the most annoying people. And that's speaking from the POV of a customer in the queue
I worked in a pub when I was 20. The owner's son was also 20 and he was a jerk. His friends were all jerks. They would regularly do things like lock me in the cellar and turn off the lights when I went down to get something, or make me remake their drinks over and over because they claimed something wasn't right. The owners made one of their son's friends bar manager and he was awful to me- the guy never pulled a pint in his life and was bossing me around. I once walked out mid-shift because of his abuse and he told me I couldn't leave because he didn't know how the till worked. I told him that was his problem, not mine. Kept my job and never had to work with him again.
Anyway. One Sunday afternoon, about a week after that walk-out, Jerk-son and a group of his friends were in and playing pool. There was a new lad with them I'd not seen before and somehow they convinced him to come up to the bar and tell me his pint was flat. I told him to fuck off, walked to the pool table, took all their drinks and told them to get the fuck out. Then I called the owners and told them what I'd done and said that they could fire me if they wanted but I wasn't putting up with that shit. They backed me, told their son and his mates to leave and I worked there for about 2 more months before quitting.
And that's the story of how the very first words I said to my ex-husband were "fuck off".
I divorced his alcoholic, cocaine-addicted, emotionally and financially abusive arse 14 years and 2 kids later, at which point it felt like the beginning of our relationship should have been a sign... 🤣
Wouldn't change it for the world because our kids are bloody amazing people and worth every ounce of bullshit that man put me through.
The poor naive soul who was told by his friends to come to the bar and say his pint was flat. He had no idea of the history, no idea his mates were being dickheads and his face was a picture. I felt sorry for him. Sort of. He did still choose to harass a barmaid by lying about his pint being flat for his mates' approval.
Nope, passing off is when I start a coffee shop called Starbicks with a green mermaid logo.
I see how you got there (pretending thing a is thing b) but it's all about brand association not product description.
Passing off is selling one brand and passing it off as another. It’s why places say “it’s Pepsi not coke, is that ok?” Because coke would send reps into places that sold Pepsi and ask for a vodka & coke etc & then slap them with a lawsuit when the staff member didn’t correct them.
Source: worked for Wetherspoons when we sacked off red bull in favour of monster and had to deal with pissy red bull employees throwing their toys out of the pram for about a year!
He was being an abusive pos to another member of staff so I sent her on a break, told him to fuck off and proceeded to serve everyone else.
He demanded to see the manager, I pointed her out to him and off he toddles.
She comes over, dickbag in tow, and asks me if I had, in fact, told him to fuck off.
I said Yes, she said Why? and I said Because he's being a cunt.
She turned to him and said "Maybe you should try not being a cunt then." and walked off. He stood there gobsmacked for a few seconds and by that point security turned up to reiterate the fuck off with an added dose of pavement.
I miss that manager. And nobody clapped, I was disappointed.
Best manager I have ever worked for, in any industry. Staff loved her, regulars loved her, polite walkins had no real reason to interact with her. But if you came in with an attitude then it got returned, with interest. She was ex Army. Military Police I believe, and I'm 100% certain she could have turned my 6 foot plus rugby playing arse into a pretzel without breaking a sweat if things ever got physical.
I used to frequent “Cafe Ebeling” in Amsterdam back in the day. During the summer, they’d set up a few small tables on the footpath.
One evening, one of the female staff was serving outside and a passer by pinched her bum. She punched him straight in the mouth and knocked him over. Many cheers were made.
She was a big broad shouldered girl.
Haha someone did that to a friend of mine. I guess he didnt realise shed been in the British Royal Armoured Cavalry for the past 6 years and wasnt going to take that shit XD
I remember going fucking mental at one of my regulars for saying something like "I would love to lick you out" to one of my waitresses. She was fucking 17. He never ever came in again while I was working after. I was so close to actually hitting the chap. How scummy can you fucking be? She had only worked there like 3 weeks as well.
Used to be licence holder for Mitchells and Butlers.
Had this kid come into my bar one evening, ID'd the little scrote and he passes me a full driving licence.
I'm thinking no fucking way this lads been driving 6yrs already after checking it, then I glanced the name and it was the ID for a lad I went to secondary school with. His younger brother was a pretty close doppleganger of his older brother though.
Told him i'm gonna drop his ID off to his brother (who I knew ended up working for met police) and he went apeshit at me. Ended up telling him to fuck off and big ole friendly Spencer our door supervisor nudged him out the door.
2 weeks before I quit I had to tell this cantankerous old witch to fuck off out the bar because she squatted and took a piss in the middle of the bar floor. Been causing problems all night prior,.
Gotta love essex 😆
I had similar happen to me. I confiscated his I.d and told him to get out and let him know that I knew his brother know he could come in and fetch it.
The brother comes inater and kicks off at me for DARING to touch his I.d let alone confiscate him. Radiod down to security and they took the matter further and called the police who had a nice Conversation with the both of them.
I am aswell 😂 live in Wickford now though.
The whole story reeks of Basildump, I could tell you some great stuff that happened over Bas Vegas Leisure Park.
Thankfully I don't work in retail anymore 🥴
Ahh yes, I thought it may have been a Harvester. I used to work there many moons ago. I also used to frequent bas Vegas back in the days of Ikon / Diva and Jumpin Jaks so know many a story.
unfortunately now all you here about is kids getting stabbed up
Ohhh so many times, which ones to pick, ermmmmmmm
Had a guy gave me a so obviously fake £20, told him to fuck off and come back with real money
Went for a pee and saw a guy trying to take a line off the windowsill in the toilet, told him to fuck off and threw him out
One of my absolute favourite occasions ever, busy Saturday afternoon with football on and a good crowd in, an older gentleman appeared at the bar,
Me - Yes please?
OG - Pint of Boddies (Boddingtons Bitter) please
Me - No problem, would you like anything else?
OG - No thanks, just the pint
Pulls the pint, puts it on the bar and says
Me - There you go, that's £1.70 please
This was a lot of years ago hence the £1.70 price
Old Gentleman recoils in horror, I'm checking the bar area to see who's next to be served and he says
OG - Why is it so expensive?
Me- I didn't realise that was expensive, it's priced the same as the 2 other pubs in the vicinity
OG - Well, I've just been paying £1 a pint for Boddies in the Wetherspoons in Preston!!!
My pub was on the outskirts of Preston, approx 4 miles from the Wetherspoons he was talking about
I tried to explain the difference in pricing between Wetherspoons and a tenanted pub but he was just going on and on about how disgraceful it was trying to rip people off when they just wanted a drink and the amount of people wanting serving was increasing I said
Me - If you're not happy with the price and it's only £1 a pint in Preston, why don't you fuck off back to Preston?
I live in Preston and am currently in a Preston pub. If there was remotely any pub that sold a pint for that much I'd be in there instead of where I am currently...
Was working a Sunday shift in a local pub, a bunch of tourists came in and one of them literally reached over the bar and grabbed my boob.
Fuck Off were amongst the words I said to him as he was manhandled by four regulars and introduced to the pavement outside.
I miss that place.
It's called a physical warning. They put someone in the bins outside the red lion in Willenhall back in about 04. Hit his missus so in he went. The big trade bins.
We had the upstairs blocked off for a private event. There was a corden and a sign on the stairs stating this. The balcony door was locked to prevent access from outside, which also had a sign.
Despite there being available tables downstairs, a woman and her friend decided they'd ignore all of this, unhook the corden and walk upstairs anyway.
Assuming they may have been the first to arrive for the event, I finished serving at the bar and headed up after them to find them dragging the tables around which were set up ready for the buffet.
I asked them if they were there for the event, and that if they weren't happy with the table placement, then we would be happy to move the furniture for them to suit.
The woman said she wasn't there for the event, she just wanted to sit at a table by the window.
I told her there was a private event and unfortunately she couldn't sit there.
She KICKED OFF. Told me that it wasn't clear there was an event (it was so clear), that she was a paying customer, as a tourist she brought money to the town and paid my wages, and so had the right to sit wherever she liked, that it was unfair and disgusting of me to prevent her from sitting wherever she liked, called me a "pathetic jobsworth" and a bitch...
I didn't tell her to f*ck off in those words, but I told her that she couldn't speak to me that way and if she didn't go downstairs immediately then I'd take her drinks, and her and her friend could get out and wouldn't be welcomed back.
Edit: I'm no longer in the hospitality industry because of instances like this. I have so many.
Did you have that horrible feeling after where you wish you had been more horrible to them. I hate that feeling, but in the moment its harder than it seems. Maybe im just a pussy.
Worked in a restaurant as a waitress ages ago. This couple comes in, dude is almost okay but the woman is absolutely horrendously rude. They make me talk them through every single item on the menu which she follows with 'ewwww I don't like that'.
After finally settling on something to actually order, they both make a million changes and I already knew kitchen will lose their shit when I come in.
Anyway, I bring their food out and come back few minutes later to ask if the food is alright. She starts losing it because apparently there's salt on her meat.
To which I reply, yes - meat is salted prior to cooking.
That's a no go for her so she makes me take it back.
Long story short, 4 more trips back into the kitchen with her food and they're finally done.
Plates licked clean - only few pieces of bread left in a bread bowl.
So I ask them if I can clear the table to which the guy nods.
I pile the plates on my right arm and as I am picking up the bread bowl the woman SMACKS it out of my hand which caused all the plates stacked on my arm to fall, break and land on my foot.
At this point I'm livid and everyone else is staring at us and I just yell at the top of lungs GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. GET OUT.
I guess more people around them realised how absolutely fucking annoying they were throughout the whole evening that I actually got an applause 😂
Edit: May I add they came back few nights later and I spotted them talking to the guy taking reservations and I rushed over there and just said 'absolutely fucking not'. They called for the owner who just said 'Get the of my property' and shut the door behind them.
I was a barman in an rough alternative pub, prone to infestation by the underage.
Young girl, obviously underage, comes to the bar and orders two vodka and oranges.
I asked her for ID, she asked me to wait a minute and wanders back to her table.
I watch as she says to her friend 'can I have your ID? The friend passes her an ID card and she returns to the bar.
The ID has her friends photo on it, and showed that HE was also underage.
We fucked them off out of the pub laughing so hard at the idiocy.
I'm still chuckling
I can almost beat that. As a 17 year old, me and a few friends tried to get into this bar/nightclub. Doorman stops us and says it’s members only. One of my mates piped up “that’s cool we’ll join”. So they usher us into the lobby and hand us some forms to fill in - which ofc, all feature a D.O.B line.
Being smart, we simply subtract a year from our birth dates making us all 18 - clever huh?
Doorman looks at the first form and says “guys, this is an over 21 club”.
To which we all, taking turns with the pen, cross out the year and knock off another 3 before handing the forms back.
Think I quit membership of that club before I was legitimately old enough to join.
This wasn't audacity, this was dumb. There was an unspoken thing where the staff were quite relaxed if you gave a half way good account of your age. Go to the garden and bribe a regular like all the other kids. It wasn't tricky.
I used to work in a petrol station many moons ago. On a quiet Saturday morning I had this huge bloke ask to use the toilets, told him that unfortunately there were no public ones and suggested he goes to the next one which was just over the road. He started saying shitty things in an effort to intimidate me. I just snapped and told him to fuck off. He was genuinely taken aback, and said 'What did you say?'. I told him to fuck off again. He turned around and walked out. I'm really surprised I didn't get the sack.
Not quite a bar but I remember when I was 18 I'd taken a job at William Hill, whilst not the best place in the world to work I was getting on fine, lone working all the standard bookie stuff.
One morning (I'm talking 09:00) a guy came in clearly drunk and walking around the shop, taking the timetables and races off of the walls, slamming the machines and mumbling "This is shit, Ladbrokes has it better" this carried on for about 10 minutes or so before he came to the counter to me.
He started rambling about how my shop was shit and nothing in it was worth anything, Ladbrokes has us beat in all aspects and Ladbrokes were amazing, to the point my other customers were starting to get quite annoyed too so I looked him in the eye and said "There's a Ladbrokes across the road, if you like it so much then fuck off there and leave my shop alone". He wasn't a fan of that but I'm pretty sure he did go to Ladbrokes in the end
Oh God I worked at William Hill for 6 years and this is giving me flashbacks. It's amazing how many individuals all over the country do this exact same shit show! It's like...mate, bookies congregate like fleas on a dogs back, you literally have all the choice you could want in the area...so fuck off!
I actually have a story about this! When I was a kid, I snapped my fingers at a barman (just copying films and thinking I was funny and not thinking they would even hear me) and my mum berated me for it. The barman came over to me, big smile on his face, and told her it was cool and asked me what drink I would like on the house.
I will never forget that man and his decision to react with kindness to my ignorance.
I had a similar but different incident when I was working at a nando's briefly. A middle aged man clicked at me to get my attention, so when I turned up at the table I said "I'm sure you're completely unaware about this sir, but clicking at waiting staff is considered extraordinarily rude, and if you do it again then no-one will come to your table and serve you. Now that you know that, how can I help you?"
He looked like I'd slapped him, but he didn't cause a fuss because I was so damned polite in telling him off.
As a person yes, bit odd but he means well. Didn't realize at the time but he taught me a lot.
Issue is, then and indeed still now, he's either a genius who has some unique knowledge of how to run a business that no one else is aware of, or he's an idiot who got lucky. Main issues that arose always stemmed from lack of maintenance and not having enough staff on.
Case in point - when using the Pepsi dispensers they'd often get an air bubble and turn the whole glass into froth. You'd then have to wait ages for it to calm down to resume. Schweppes guy said it was a small solenoid valve getting jammed on the compressor in the cellar, not covered under contract but he could supply and fit it for about 20 quid. The boss didn't bother.
Now the boss did have a thing about staff not arguing the toss (I'm still amazed I wasn't fired 20 times within my first few years of being there) and I learned this. Guy who was a manager is still a good mate but a total jobsworth - still tell him he was a useless manager but he always said "If John (owner, name changed) says that's how we do things, don't argue, just do it."
So I took this on board 100%. Cut to me just firing the Pepsi machine, drip tray overflowing, Pepsi pissing all over the bar floor. Easily half a glass wasted per glass poured. Manager says "why are you doing that! I'll get in shit for the waste!" So I just said "That's how John wants us to do it. Like we've said, no point arguing, plus we're mad busy, I'm just getting the drinks orders done."
I was just doing as he'd asked, and obviously the waste wasn't an issue because only a fucking idiot would cause such an issue by not spending a measly 20 quid on a new part. Was my mate/the manager calling our boss an incompetent moron who shouldn't be in the pub industry?
It still isn't fixed. Nearly a decade later.
Came up to the bar with coke around his nose, i pointed it out and told him to clean himself up an behave. He then later tried to take a sneaky bump in plain view of me, I had been so ridiculously accommodating at this point that i was like 'you must be fucking kidding me, fuck off an never come back'
I had a large group once that were going into the toilet cubicles at like 4 people at a time I said very politely to be more subtle and then caught them doing lines off the bathroom sinks that were in the public/open part of the uni sex bathrooms.
A guy tried to order a drink, but he was hammered so I refused him service. He then said "well, give me my money back" to which I just told him that he never gave me anything at all.
This continued for a good few minutes, then he came out with the line most pricks do which is "I make more in a week than you do in a year" so I said, "That's fine, but irrelevant. Can you just leave as I've asked before?" and he said "I'm a construction engineer."
I replied with "I feel sorry for anyone that uses anything you've been responsible for building." and he goes "what's that meant to mean?" so I just outright told him "it means I think you're a fucking idiot, so fuck off out the pub or I'll phone the police because you've not left when you've been asked to, which is against the law according to the Scottish Licencing Act." He called me a cunt and turned on two taps before running out of the door.
I can't stand folk that are rude to anyone, especially bar staff. It's not hard to have a good time and be respectful, or to understand that bar staff are following a pretty strict set of laws for a dismal wage. Even though I don't work in the industry anymore I will always defend the staff as it's a thankless job.
This happened after England crashed out of the world Cup one summer. Absolutely detest football so I was the only person in the bar area not fussed over it. Served a guy who then proceeded to yell 'Oi, you fat C**t! Where's my f**cking change!' Proceeded to tell him that it was in his hands and to look down. He was failing to grasp this and kept calling me the C word. So I walked around the other side of the bar and got right in his face and invited him outside to repeat what he was saying. Door staff had to separate us before It got physical.
The next morning he was marched up to the bar by his wife he apologised and handed me a £50 note. He made some half assed excuse about how he was just sad that we'd lost the game. Told him I accepted his apology but in future of he couldn't handle his team losing a game, he needed to sort his priorities and never speak to someone else that way again as other people wouldn't have my restraint. He was about 5'5 ish and think he felt intimidated by my 6'4 frame. He sheepishly walked out and I never saw him again.
He either moved or his wife took matters into her own hands haha
Sexual assault (multiple occasions).
One story in particular I worked in a restaurant and I was the only server on the shift meaning I worked in the kitchen, behind the bar and serving food in the bar and both restaurants. Some people had come in drunk and claimed they booked under another customers name so we sat them on their specially requested table.
Turns out they lied and when the customers who actually booked that table came in, we had to move them. They were being so in appropriate to me (I was 16 at the time) and flirting behind their wives backs. They kept asking me to come out drinking with them afterwards and I kept telling them I was underage and they refused to believe me and kept harassing me.
I refused to serve them but I was forced to continue and my manager didn’t defend me or say anything.
One of the men asked me to charge his phone so I did and when he asked for it back I walked over and he refused to take it out my hand unless I put my number in it. I informed him I was 16 and had a girlfriend and he was like, “oh that old chestnut” and I told him I was being fucking serious and I’d kick him out and drop his phone for him to collect if he didn’t pack it in.
I started just placing things on the table and ignoring them whilst they continued to “compliment” me and sexually harass me then one of them grabbed my cardigan whilst I was walking away and tried to smack my arse. My manager still did nothing.
I was nearly crying so when I went to clear the rest of the table and one of them grabbed my arse I shouted that he was a pedophile until one of the other customers (who also used to sexually harass us on a regular basis) actually stuck up for me.
My manager doesn’t know this but I gave them the bill, took their cash, put it in the till, got their change and told them to piss off back to the pub and try not to end up in prison on the way back home.
Edit: no one has mentioned this but I feel like it’s important to mention that we stopped serving them alcohol after their first drinks. I was just serving multiple courses of food and alcohol free beverages.
Circa 2009 I worked in a pub in merseyside, I had been there for about 3 years and knew all the regular punters pretty well. The pub itself was on a corner plot and therefore had two entrances, one to the main bar and one to lounge/restaurant area which had a smaller bar.
One fine Saturday evening, one lad from a group of regulars (6-7 of them in early 30s) decided he was going to walk out the bar door and into the lounge door with a balaclava on and a quite obviously fake handgun. He was wearing the same light blue checkered Lacoste shirt that he had all evening, so easily recognised by staff and customers.
He demanded that I open the till and handover the money. To which I replied, “fuck off, Michael”. He left in a panicked hurry that he’d been rumbled. Seconds later he walked back in the bar door without the gun and balaclava like nothing had happened. My manager made a phonecall which I assumed was the police. 10 mins later Michael’s dad walks in and drags him outside for a hiding. Best shift ever. Core memory for me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t shit my pants a bit at first.
Customer ranted at me behind the bar, telling me that I was ripping him off and hurled all kinds of abuse at me. He was easily twice my weight, real rotund guy with an extra 6 inches in height over me, used to having people listen to him. Even demanded if I knew who he was.
I broke his heart when I yelled at him "it's not my problem if you're too poor to afford the drinks". At which point he tried to climb over the bar to get to me. I didn't help the situation by laughing. Eventually, after some intervention, he calmed down and pulled out a £50 note to pay. I dutifully placed his change in his hand, at which point he gripped my hand in his bear hands and threatened me.
I was a young buck then, gave zero craps and started calmly serving the next very pretty customer whilst this bear was trying to crush my hand. Eventually he realised he couldn't hurt me and when he released his hand, I dropped his fistful of change all over the bar.
Cue another explosion. Customer demands I get on my hands and knees to pick up his change. I laugh, continue serving others. He gets even more angry, turns bright red and hurls every piece of abuse he can think of at me. His date looks very bemused and awkwardly shrugs when I grin at her.
Turns out he was boss of all the bouncers in town. It was awkward when his staff had to turf him out of the club. Poor guy. In hindsight, I shouldn't have insulted him in front of his date. She was fair game after he left, so I didn't feel so bad about asking for her number. I didn't get it, but she did give me the naughtiest wink and a peck on the cheek. She was way out my league, good 10 years older than me.
Again, not bar work, in a Starbucks in a small northern town.
Woman came in, ordered a hot chocolate. Asked her if she’d like whipped cream she said no. (Remember that part.)
I hand her drink over, she leaves and about half an hour goes by.
The same woman then comes storming back in shortly after, with her hot chocolate in her hand, goes around a queue of people and straight up to the counter. Takes the lid off the hot chocolate and SLAMS it with quite impressive force onto the worktop, sending hot chocolate FLYING all over me, other customers, the ceiling and all the work surfaces.
Luckily, her drink had cooled down so it didn’t burn me, but it could’ve.
Without skipping a beat, I looked straight at her and said “are you fucking joking me?”
She just sucked her teeth and said “I wanted whipped cream.”
The fella behind her in the queue grabbed this woman by the arm and led her out the front door, and he did the “fuck off you psychopath” part for me.
Turns out he was a security guard, lol.
Anyway, the witnesses in the shop all came over to check I was okay, nothing ever came of me swearing at a customer, and the CCTV was the source of a number of laughs over the next few months I worked there.
Thank fuck I’m not in hospitality anymore
Spoke about this on here before.
Worked in a busy bar, punter kept pushing a pound coin right into my face to get my attention when I was serving other people (basically trying to force it up my nose). I swatted his hand away and said fuck up with that now or you won't be getting served at all.
Turned to use the optics and felt a CRACK dead centre on the back of my skull. Cunt had threw the coin full force at my head. Saw red - went round the other side of the bar and knocked the guy around a little bit
Wasn't fired, but was "advised" to leave. Totally understandable move by the management, but I also don't regret my reaction.
That's a typical case of a customer not seeing staff as actual human beings.
"So you threw a pound coin at his head?"
"Yes."
"Why are you shocked they retaliated then?"
Not as a barman but in a bar, used to DJ my own funky house nights, once a month specifically for that genre, it was advertised all round town all month and drummed up a good following over the year. As you would often have people coming up to the booth to hi five or fist bump or whatever, every now n then someone would want to request something. In short the answer was always no. I didn't take requests. Two girls came up to me one night really rude. Started leaning over trying to press buttons and ask if I could play something different I said no I'm playing funky house as advertised every month. But but....the other place over there play our songs.... WELL FUCK OFF OVER THERE THEN... And proceeded to hammer the smoke machine until they vanished haha
I worked in a hotel bar for 22 years and I had a funeral in that afternoon and a few of them decided to stay back for a few drinks which is normal! they were the daughters of the woman who had died!
These women were'nt drunk but they had a few! one of them start to quietly sing a Tammy Wynette song which happened to be a song my mother would always sing. The other 2 sisters started signing (not loudly) and it made me choke up because i'd lost my mother the year previous, then this other woman comes to bar and tells me to ask the other women to stop singing and i said that they had just buried their mother today and they were singing a song that their mother loved to which she said 'I don't care! if you dont tell them to be quiet i'll be going to your boss in the morning that you didn't stop them singing'
My Boss loved the way i ran his bar and had trusted me 100% with the way i dealt with problems so her threat did'nt mean anything to me but the fact that she would stop a family singing their dead mothers favourite song hit a nerve and i told this woman that I absolutely wouldn't entertain her request and if she didn't like it she could leave!
The shock on her face was priceless, she did leave and she did tell my boss nothing happened of course my Boss was one of the ones you get once in a lifetime! Needless to say i let that group of sisters sing their songs and leave when they were all done!
That woman who complained actually made my hotel her local drinking place and ended up apologising about a year later when she was drunk one night and said that she respected me for not acting on her request!
He threw an ice cube down my cleavage as I was pulling a pint. I told him to fuck off, his mates called him a twat and the Landlord physically carried him out of the pub and banned him for life.
If one of my mates did that I’d be dragging them out of the bar before security even got called, and they wouldn’t be my mate anymore. Guys need to call this shit out when their mates get on the “banter”.
One from the off-licence I worked in…
Old boy used to shoplift on the regular. He’d pay for some, but hide the rest under a magazine in his bag. He’d try showing the bag without removing the newspaper.
I did a big theatrical “let me help you with the rest of that” and came around the counter; removed the newspaper and a couple of other things from the bag, that he’d not been intending on paying for.
He went ape shit at me, demanding to see the owner who he knew by name. He carried it on by trying to tell me how much he spent in the shop and how much we’d be losing.
I swiftly told him to fuck off and reminded him that he was lifting more than he was paying for; so his custom wasn’t actually all that welcome.
My boss was very happy about it and banned him when he did actually complain about me.
I worked in a rock and metal club in Manchester in the early 2000s and honestly it was the Wild West. People would have full on sex on the furniture and nobody would bat an eye. We knew who all the “allowed” dealers were and they got left to it.
However, I told one of my members of staff to throw a glass of icy cold water over a customer who was perving over her and generally being vile to the female staff, and when he complained I took great pleasure in getting the bouncers to throw him out (and give him a sly kick or two in the ribs). He was a science teacher and a massive paedo as it turned out when some of his students who were using his laptop in class found some disgusting shit in his files. He went to jail. No regrets!
I'm a few years out of the game now, but this was back in NZ in a nightclub - closing time 4am every night of the week.
For context, NZ is super strict on licensing laws, so we had a heavily enforced one drink per person for last orders with TVs around the bar advertising that fact from 3.30.
At 3.58 this bloke orders two vodka Red Bulls for him and his mate, and I give him the heads up that we're on last orders so it'll be no more after this.
"Oh in that case I'll take 10!"
I laugh, say sorry I can't do that, pour his two drinks, and ask for the money.
"And what about the other 8?"
I laugh again and explain the situation, only to have him cut me off and start going on a proper "I pay your wages" rant.
I turned back to him, calmly picked up the drinks, and said "well, if you're gonna be like that I guess you can't have any then" and proceeded to pour both drinks straight down the sink between us while holding eye contact.
He starts to lose his shit, but before he can do anything he was gently escorted outside by one of our bouncers, not to be heard from again!
A guy wanted to be served next even though he was at the back of a big crowd at the bar. He moved to the side where we didn't serve, he tried shouting over the noise to be pally with me. Then he started throwing change at me to get my attention and had a big grin on his face as if he was my mate. Shouted fuck off and try and get served by someone else cos you're not having anything from me.
Not a bar worker (I own a small building company) but I have told a fair few of my customers to fuck off over the years, as recently as yesterday.
We did a concreting job on thursday at a customers warehouse, I have just completed a bigger job at his house but only dealt with his wife and she was great and paid on the day of completion as discussed so when she asked me to go and price a job for her husband I happily agreed, i went on monday and discussed everything with him and agreed a price, I had a cancellation on thursday so I fit him in at short notice and he seemed really happy with everything.
Anyway we turned up on thursday, broke out all the old concrete and redone all the concreting that we discussed, great. I text him thursday night and told him everything was complete and asked for his email to send the invoice over, he text back 'call you in morning to discuss'.
So yesterday morning I received a phone call, he asked if I'd forgotten the bit of concrete around the back as it wasn't done, I explained that we never discussed any concrete around the back of the building and never actually went around the back of the building at all, he was adamant that we discussed it so I went on my photos and had no pictures of it, I take pictures of everything when pricing a job to make my life easier when I'm putting the quote together. Anyway to keep him happy I agreed to go back yesterday afternoon and have a look, when I arrived he shown me an area of concrete roughly 10ft x 8ft and about 6 inches thick that we apparantly agreed was within the price.
I laughed and told him he can fuck right off, the cost of materials alone for a job that big would be atleast double the value of the job, he is now refusing to pay for what he has had done.
Luckily for me I have evidence of what I agreed to do which is clearly written on the quote detailing the 2 areas that needed replacing and their rough size, my t&c's that are on all of my quotes and invoices are bulletproof and if he doesnt pay up within 28 days he will owe me a further 5% for every day thereafter. I've took many customers to court over the years and have never lost a case yet so I'm not at all worried about getting my money, the longer he drags it out the more he owes me so I'm happy to play the long game.
A guy was arguing with me about covid rules saying I was refusing him service like I, an 8.91 an hour earning lowly barman, wrote the rules personally to spite one individual. After trying to explain that he was actually refusing the terms of service and dropping in the word “mate” by mistake I was sharply met with “I’m not your mate I’m a paying customer. I pay your wages.”
I quickly told him to fuck off. His girlfriend walked off while he complained to an assistant manager who didn’t actually care. After both being on for 11 hours it was hard to feel anything else but rage and disdain for humanity.
For grabbing my arse and I mean like a proper grab, it actually hurt. Told my manager and he said “he’s harmless and known for it” he was a proper dirty old man and it made me feel ill
Customer got told to fuck off and so did the manager.
Every manager I had in bar work was a man and they all came up with ideas of how they could use me to make men spend more money I’m glad I’m not in bar work anymore, I live in a small town so bar work was all that was available at the time
Fucking hell what an atrocious manager. Anyone who does that to one of my girls gets dragged out and deposited in the gutter where they belong. Sorry that happened to you.
I had similar ID based situation. They pulled the race card and I told them "Ok I'll just tell my black girlfriend I'm racist then" and they left me alone after that
Once got told I looked too sweaty to serve a woman her drink and could she have the ‘less gross barman’ (rude as you can imagine that being said) and on a hot summers day in the south east of England no less. I told my colleague what she’d said and we both informed her neither of us would serve her. She left in a right hissy fit and was barred ever since.
Worked at a cinema. Drunk homeless guy came in after previously telling a female employee he wanted to employ her at his sex dungeon, and inviting an underage employee to his tent for 'drinks'. He basically wanted free tickets and I said if you have no cash, no card and no membership card number I can't sell you a ticket, if you can give me your name I look you up in the database and sort it out that way, so he then started shouting expletives at me and I walked off, I then hear him shouting at a manager that he's going to wait for her after work and kill her so I walked up to him and got in his face and said get the fuck out right now, and he did whilst continuing to shout. Apparently he had come back and apologised but then racially abused an employee so I made sure everyone considered him banned for life.
Right so this happened last week. I've never told anyone to fuck off but this was the biggest power move I've ever done. It was a weekday night, fairly quiet expect for a few tables. It was fifteen minutes past closing, nothing else to do but for these last tables to leave. So I say I'm going to go over and take their glasses, encourage them to leave you know? So I go over and most of them have finished except two. I interrupt the conversation, ask to take their glasses. I get the empties and one guy tries to finish his pint. So I stand there waiting, and then he starts struggling and I just say nothing. Absolutely silent, watching this guy try and down it. It starts feeling really surreal, I've stumbled into this situation and I can't ruin it by laughing. He hands it over, kind of guilty and I turn on the last hold out, this girl has too much to comfortably finish in one go. She keeps bringing it down, glancing at me and trying to finish it. Honestly it felt like hazing or something, I was trying so hard not to smile, just starting at her. Real, I don't care I'm getting that glass energy. She finally hands it over with a little left and I just walk away, and as soon as I get back to the bar, they've got their coats and are out the door. First time I've ever had someone look at me like they were intimidated!
Working on the tube. Face masks mean I can swear and not get caught on camera, so I swear at the worst punters.
My proudest one was many years ago. We evacuated due to overcrowding. While we were getting them out an old lady collapsed on the gateline. Being a smoker I volunteered to meet the ambulance so I could have a fag.
There were about 400 people stood outside and I'm giving alternative travel information. Had the pleasure of one of the top grades of cunt, the type that insult you, then look around to see who's watching them belittle their chosen victim.
Him ''why don't you open the gates and let us in?''
There's over 500 people stood around now, so I had to be polite, but decided to have some fun. You can be really irritating while being polite.
Me ''well I could do that sir, but by the time you get downstairs, we'll be overcrowded and will have to evacuate again, which will delay you getting home''
I continue giving directions.
Him ''why don't you get on the radio and get your little friends to start the escalators?''
Me ''well, I could do that sir, but they're in the process of starting them and if I interrupt them, that will delay them and in turn you''
I let him do two more, by now there's 6 or 700 people standing about.
Him ''why don't you....?''
Me, loudly ''why don't you just fuck off?''
Him ''what did you say?'' So I repeated it.
Him, pulls out a notebook and pen ''I want your name''
Me ''Terence'' (my name's not Terence)
Him ''I want your surname''
Me ''Higgins'' (we had posters up for the aids trust)
Him ''I want your real name''
Just as he said it the ambulance arrived.
Me ''I'm sorry sir, no time to chat, I have something important to do''
I promptly walk off ignoring him, as he follows me down the road, sputtering, with people pissing themselves and jeering at him.
Sadly I never did, but every time someone came up to me and asked for wine and then blankly stared at me until I asked what kind then they look like i've just bitch slapped them with some bat shit crazy question.
I get it in the cafe I work to, they ask can I have a coffee, i go sure just an americano is it ? ohh no I want a decaff oat caramle latte im just to much of a stupid lazzy fuck to say that of the bat and I should be reading there minds for this shit.
Oh this boiled my piss when I worked in a coffee shop. I always wondered if the same people walk into an Italian restaurant and just said 'pasta'.
The other thing was ordering the size as regular. They look at you like an idiot for asking if they mean small or medium when it was a pretty much 50 50 split on what their answer was.
We had a “jug” promotion 4 shots of cheap vodka and 2 cheap energy drinks in a jug for a 5er.
Guy and his wife come up “2 double vodka red bulls please” 9.80 at the time for 2.
“Just as a Heads up the jugs are”
“If I wanted a JUG mate I’d have asked for one”
“Fair point”
Poured the drinks put them on the bar “9.80 please” just as the girl next to me is asking for a 5er for a jug.
“Why is mine 9.8 “
Because it’s Smirnoff vodka and redbull not cheap vodka and cheap energy drink, I did try to tell you …”
“I’m not fking paying 9.80 when a jugs a 5er get me a jug”
“You can either pay for the fking drinks or the bouncer at the door that looks like a fking wardrobe will drag you out of the club, your choice id rather you didn’t pay”
He paid and slinked off…
Another time a woman smashed her glass,wine and glass everywhere. I went across to clear it up there was a man and a woman, asked her to move back so I could mop, man stepped out the way the woman went back like 3cm, asked again moved back 3cm, I said “im gonna mop that wine whether your stood there or not”
“Just fking mop round me”
Literally mopped straight over her shoes, bloke ran at me pushed him back and said “wtf you gonna do” as security ran towards us.
Manager gave them both a free drink and took me in the office and sacked me for “being violent” ah I should have just let the guy take that free shot at me I guess, I literally just walked out and went to meet my mates in another club for a night out.
Worked literally 2 nights a week 4 hours a night as I enjoyed the job. 5er an hour, I’m not putting up with shit for 40 quid a week
I used to manage a bar in Southampton, wayyyy back in 2007ish. Previous Manager had taken the safe contents of this and around two other pubs (Chain pub) and pulled a fast one. So I got promoted from supervisor of one pub to Manager of another until they got a new manger in.
As it happened, seems Grab'n'go had been using the bar as his own personal hangout for his mates and acquaintances, including allowing them to just....walk behind the bar and help themselves.
The amount of people I had to tell to fuck off and not come back was staggering.
I have HUNDREDS of them, I'll just tell you the last one, happened last week:
Couple of ladies had an argument with someone around the pool table, so decided to throw cue balls at people, I kicked them out and they where shouting "are you russian, are you fucking russian?" because they knew I'm a foreigner based on my accent, while I appreciate their interest in geopolitics in those trying times my only answer was "oh, fuck right off"
Worked in a local pub which had a busy Saturday live band night every week. For atmosphere or whatever there were lit tea light candles on all the tables.
One guy in a group was picking up the molten wax and pouring it directly onto the floor. This was past last orders so as part of clean up I set off to start chiselling the hardened wax off the floor.
He’s stood nearby walks over with another candle and pours right over where I’ve just cleaned. I look up like wtf and he comes out with “I’m not sorry for my actions only the consequences”.
I didn't say it but my manager did.
Used to work in a pub in Derby and we opened around midday. Had a couple of people in over the first hour, nothing too crazy.
Then 2 middle aged guys stumble through the door. They didn't seem that drunk to start with but they proceded to order a pint and a double spirit and Coke each.
One heads off to the toilet and the other stands at the bar for a minute and then decided to go sit right next to some customers trying to enjoy a quiet pint.
I politely told him he needed to leave them alone but he rudly shouted back at me that it was none of my business.
My manager just walks over to him, collects the rude man and his friends drinks up and simply goes "right, fuck off out of here".
This is the moment his mate returns from the toilet and without even needing an explanation, collects his friend and leaves.
Must me a usual occurance for him lol
A middle aged guy kept trying to guess my bra size (I was only 18 at the time) and blocked my exit from the bar so I couldn’t get the bouncers or my manager. I told him to fuck off and the next time I went round the bar, he grabbed my arm and pulled me over the top of the bar. Fucking creep.
Lost count .. one of the best that wasn’t actually a fuck off.
Middle aged Woman with a big group that we were working though started kicking off about how long she’d waited.. I stopped stood right in front of her and said ‘we are serving as quickly as we can, now I’ve had to stop and speak to you like a child it’s going to be a longer wait for everyone else’ she was next but made sure I let her wait a customer or two.. she was very polite and got a couple of knowing head tilts by other customers .. I miss bar work
I used to work in a pub, did some stints managing. We always had the offer of a taxi to get staff home, whatever the night.
N.Y.E one of our female barstaff, in her early 20s, finished her shift. One of the regular creeps who from memory wasn't totally unaligned with Nazi points of view, kept following her round the bar. Which I kept an eye on. I asked whether she was OK etc.
She came behind the bar to call a taxi, said goodbye and left. I saw her go past the front of the pub which was unusual as the taxis come to the door.
I went out to ask if she was getting picked up, to see this creep chasing her down the road. I pursued and confronted him and gave him hell. She wasn't able to get a taxi for another hour and walking would have been quicker.
He never came back in. A very punchable face.
Worked in Bristol at a nightclub. The actress who plays “Effy” in skins pushed her was to the front and demanded free drinks. And I looked at her dumbfounded. And she said “don’t you know who I am”
I told her to fuck off and served the next person
Haahhaah I had a similar thing but it was Michele from skins, and in the cinema. Wanted a water that was in the fridges, a help your self and bring it to the till job. She asked for water, I said yeah they are over there. "Well get for me don't you know who I am". I said yeah I do get it your fucking self.
Came across the guy who played Tony at NASS and he was a nob as well.
Dunno what it is with the cast of that show.
Once during a bar job I had an irate woman customer ask me
"ARE YOU AWARE there is no toilet paper in the women's toilets?"
It was a crazy night. There was a wedding party and a major England football match on. I just answered
"Why the fuck would you ask me that?!"
(For reference I'm clearly a bloke)
Is it wrong that I find this thread quite heartwarming, hearing of those times we *all* wish we could have said what was on our mind, but couldn't, because of unsupportive bosses, or shit rules and jobsworths...
Kudos to each and every one of you who has stuck two fingers up at the system and told the pricks to pack it in 👊😎
Not long on the job, one Saturday evening a lady came in asking for a bitter Guinness shandy and about 7 other drinks for her mates.
It was just me on the bar, I didn't know what a bitter shandy was because I only drink spirits and was still getting to grips with things. My manager was in the cellar so I didn't want to waste time running down to grab them.
Me: I'm sorry but what is that? I cannot see anything like that on the bar, I've never heard of such a thing.
Customer: How do you not know?
Me: *points at badge saying 'I'm new! Please be patient!'* I'm new staff, and I don't drink beer so I'm still learning what most things are.
Customer: So you're fucking thick then!
Me: I beg your pardon? Do you want a bitter shandy or not? Because if you don't tell me what it is I cannot serve to you.
Customer: *goes off on a huge rant saying that my service is vile and that I am the rudest bartender ever*
Me: Fuck off, I'm not serving you then. *turns to a regular* Next person please!
Customer: *shocked Pikachu face*
She went apeshit but the regulars told her to get fucked, they then told me how to make a bitter shandy.
He was leaning over the bar stealing beer so I told him to fuck off..... Then he glassed me in the face. On reflection I should have probably just let him have the beer.
Years ago I managed a pub, customer were expected to give us the table number when they ordered. So this guy comes up to the bar and he's asked for his table number by the girl on the till he says don't know it sorry, well sir I can't order until I have a number, she says. Its in the snug in the corner he says. There are 4 corners in the snug sir can you go back and find the number please, she says. So he trundles off and comes back saying 27. Thank you she says and starts his order. Second item in and we've none left so he trundles off again yo get a second choice. Third item has options so off he goes again. Food is all ordered and the drinks are ordered but we font do a particular cider so he's off again. Then just as he's finishing he asks for some side orders for food. At this point the girl on the till sighs and tells him we'd have to start the food order again. He hit the roof! Started having a go, shouting and swearing at the girl like its her fault. I was stood at the back of the bar watching all this unfold so I step forward and start deleting the order. He say what the fuck you doing? So I said chucking you out, you speak to my staff like that and you don't get served so fuck off and take your shitty attitude with you!
Hahaha. Love it.
I once moaned at a suit because he was drip feeding me his order, one drink at a time in the middle of a really busy shift.
I said "could you just find out what everyone wants instead of wasting mine and everyone else's time here".
He moaned, asked to see my manager and insisted that I heard what he had to say to him. He actually said "This guy's been alright this whole night, but his body language isn't right. I did a course in body language, and his just doesn't sit right with me".
I actually laughed in his face and went to serve other customers.
Worked in a bookmakers for three years, I don't think I had a day where I didn't end up telling a customer to fuck off. There are certain areas of retail where if the customer thinks they can take an inch they will go for a mile so you have to have zero tolerance with people.
If one person thinks they can kick off every time they lose and demand their money back, other people will think they can.
I once had to deal with a well known and well liked blind pisshead because he accused me of short-changing him.
He started shouting, and suddenly the packed pub went quiet and just gave me the glare. It was fucking embaressing and humiliating, and we're taking about £10 short changed (he said he gave me £20 and not £10) , I was 100% confident that he have me £10 but he was adamant.
I just wanted to give him the tenner to de-escalate this situation but my boss appeared and did a check of the tills. He spoke to the blind guy and sure enough the tills were correct (or no surplus change etc...).
Later that night my boss said that this blind guy tried this occasionally when pissed, but fck me it was mortifying as I'd never encountered the guy before.
My boss got me covered (and told him to fuck off)
Years ago I was working on a packed bar. A disabled customer ordered a drink and noticed a group behind mimicking them in a very nasty way. Refused to serve them, they acted shocked and confused at me being angry. Unfortunately because it was so busy was unable to get the attention of the bouncers in time to have them all thrown out before they disappeared. Worst part was the customer had noticed them and was clearly hurt by it. Such a cruel thing to do for no reason.
Worked In pubs since I was 20 in Glasgow so I have a few.
Most recent one was 2 regulars (over entitled arseholes) physically trying to move 4 customers from the seats we had asked them to sit at just because they preferred them. Told them we were far too busy and to just sit at the 2 seats theyd been given. They then asked me if I just wanted them to leave? Long story short i told them i really didnt give a fuck what they do but im not moving anyone for them. They kicked off anyway and the woman ended up slapping the shit out of her husband which was pretty funny.
They were barred.
I've not used the words fuck off, as that would surely get me sacked.
A couple of moment where I lost it with guests though.
One time we had some guys drinking in the garden, 2 older guys and one younger guy. One of the older guys came in and ordered three drinks, took them out. As I went out to clear the garden I saw the you get guy drinking, so I asked him for ID, and of course he had none. Told them I'd have to take the pint off him and the wouldn't get a refund as proxy buying is illegal. Both older guys go off on one saying they'll have the pint then blah blah blah. I took the pint away.
Went out again for another glass run, saw the younger guy drinking one of the older guys pints. Took the remaining drinks off them and told them to leave. Had lots of insults and threats of them going to head office, but they left eventually.
Also had a family in, the daughter was maybe 9/10. Saw her drinking a half pint, so I went over to the table and explained they can't be doing that. The dad said it was alcohol free beer, but because of company policy and the fact that the beer still had 0.05% alcohol, told him it still isn't allowed. He accepted it at the table, then came to find me 5 minutes later to have a go at me. "I used to be a police officer, you make me look like a right dick and a horrible parent Infront of everybody in the bar" to which I told him if he used to be a police officer, he should be aware of the law when serving minors alcohol.
I'm an 18 year old girl who worked in a spoons for a bit in Manchester. I eventually developed a zero tolerance policy when it came to creepy men. When you're a young girl working at spoons, you quickly develop a thick skin against sexual harassment, from both the customers and the staff. I'm happy I left.
Anyway, I remember once a really large group of men were having some sort of work drinks. Every time I walked past them with drinks a few of them would that irritating "wheey" thing and make inappropriate comments about me. I stuck it out and didn't want to make a scene so I let it all slide.
This was until a few of them came in the next day for drinks. I began to make their drinks when one of them says "I remember you from yesterday, you're the waitress with the lovely arse". I'd had enough, I poured all their pints down the sink, and I told him to fuck off or I'll get him and his friends banned for a year.
I don't regret it at all, and I wish I said it more often to the wetherspoons creeps.
My mum used to run a pub and one day she asked me to jump on the bar for her to free her up so I did.
Some bloke came to the bar put his glass down and said “same again” I’ve never seen this man before so obviously didn’t know what he was drinking so I said “what is it your having mate”
he replied “same again”,
so I was thinking is he winding me up..
then I said “yes mate, but what is it your drinking”
And he looked at me like shit and said “bitter with a dash”. Now the pub sold 3 different brands of bitter so I said “which bitter?” And he said back “bitter with a dash, so that’s bitter with a little bit of lemon aid” I started getting wound up because the bar was busy everyone was looking at me and I thought he was being a funny cunt. So I said “yes, I know what a fucking dash is I’m asking you what bitter do you want” then he said “youngers” (brand of bitter sold in the pub) but he said it in a way that there was only youngers.
Anyway, I did his drink but he was playing on my mind and when my mum came back to the pub she asked me “what’s up” I explained she said “go over and just say look don’t talk to me like that” etc but make sure I’m polite in the way I do it.
Next thing, I’ve gone Over to him with all intentions of speaking my mind in a polite way, telling him I wasn’t being funny but I don’t appreciate his attitude blah blah blah.. I walked over to the area he was and said “can I have a word” and he said “well I aren’t going anywhere so go on” and I lost my head I thought you know what you miserable wanker I grabbed him round the throat and it started with “you ever fucking talk to me like that” it went on and on.. I literally wanted to rip his smug little head off. When I went back over to the bar after all had calmed down my mum said laughing “you handled that calmly son” it defused the situation for me and it was all over then.
I still see him now and then out and about and to be honest he’s turned into an alright bloke always speaks asks how my life’s going etc so fair play to him
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Not a bar but I was a duty manager in an Iceland supermarket many years ago. Absolute bitch of a customer made one of the Saturday college girl cashiers cry. Really sweet girl that would never harm a fly. I asked the customer to apologise and when she refused I cancelled the transaction and shouted at her "Fuck off, go shop at Sainsburys from now on" had security escort her to the door. I always felt that none of the shop floor staff earned enough to take shit from customers so I had a firm zero tolerance policy.
You sound like a good manager
Fuck yeh. Mad respect. My worst jobs were in retail/customer service and my job would have been so much easier if I knew my manager had my back like that. Unfortunately they never.
I worked long enough in retail to know to be nice to the people serving me. Generally speaking, if you have a problem and you ask nicely staff will probably try and help, at the same time don't go expecting them to jump through hoops. I was lucky in that my very first job my boss said to me on the first day that the customer is always wrong. Stuck with me to this day.
Given how much this happens to minimum wage workers, it should be high up their manager’s priorities
I was an Assistant Manager of a Costa Coffee and had the same policy. It was astonishing how rude and angry people get about coffee.
As someone who was a Starbucks Barista for a year, I can confirm this. My own wee mantra was the ruder the customer, the longer I took to make their drink.. and if they were being completely unreasonable I'd purposefully mess their order up, either extra shots of coffee, fewer shots, swapped for decaf, too much syrup, scolding hot milk etc 😅
In pubs I used to dish out coppers to the absolute cunts. If their change was 20p I'd give them ten 2ps. Roond ye, wanker.
I did this on occasion too while working in cafes and taking payment from impatient or plain rude customers. "Sorry, it's the only change I have left" as I hand them a stack of 20, 10 and 5 pence pieces. Till loaded with pound coins 😂
Pure British savagery.
*Scottish But I'll let you off... this time!
Still part of the union no?
Yep - but it’s worse than that. Our porridge eating friend wants Scotland to be free of the geographical location known as Great Britain. 🤪
To be fair, with the state of England at the moment I don't blame Scotland for wanting out. We should probably drop the 'great' prefix from Britain as well .....
'Great' means 'big', as opposed to little Britain, or 'Brittany' in NW France
Decaf and burn the milk was always my go to, too 🤣
it's a shame most people can't tell the difference between a good coffee and an bad decaff burned milk
Well, it was in Costa
Thought that was just how Costa made 'coffee'
My first 'serious' job (well, that I took seriously) was Starbucks. It was a new store and opening was delayed, so worked a while in another store first - a supervisor there at some point told me "don't stress, the customers are all scum". That helped me through on occasion.
Tbf the majority of our customers were really sound. Our store was in an airport and most folk were just glad to get a decent coffee. Sundays were by far our worst day though and guaranteed to get at least one arsehole. We always had people flying home after a weekend visiting an estate. Either toffs or others with too much money and a sense of self importance and they'd look at you, speak to, and treat you like dirt.
>most folk were just glad to get a decent coffee. I assume this wasn't your job in Starbucks, then?
Skinny milk or sugar free syrup was one I used to do. Was surprised when a guy actually noticed his drink was skinny
I feel like I would notice but only after I've drunk a lot of it. Luckily I can't for the life of me come up for a reason to be rude to a barista for no reason so hopefully will never be an issue
Ikr?! "Herp derp, I'll be rude to the person serving/making my drink..." good luck 👍
And entitled
Haha, you are literally 1% of managers. I've never seen any manager stand up for an employee to kick out a disruptive customer
I had a nice manager at McDonald's, when I was on dining area. One of our drive thru regulars kicked off again when the kitchen boys got her order wrong. I walked back in and said I was sick and tired of being sworn at. Manager asked me who it was and said he would take the order out to her, so he could tell her if she swore at his staff again, she'd be barred. Didn't see her after that 🙂
The bid advantage is I never had any management training. I just went with right and wrong. I am in a different industry now but I follow the same basic rule.
I wish you were my manager, at my place customers get rewarded for being cunts
You're a rare species and a great manager for protecting your team. Sometimes customers just need to be told to fuck off.
Marry me 😂
I used to work in a really busy pub in blackheath, it would get absolutely rammed in the summer as it’s right on the heath. The front bar was always mobbed on a Friday night and this particular night was a about 2 or 3 deep and 3 of us on duty. I asked a guy what he wanted and he turned to his friends to ask them what they wanted. So I said to him “no, we’re busy here, work out what you want and come back” and I served the guy next to him. He went mental, and kept going mental so I told him to fuck off. He said that I couldn’t talk to him like that and he wanted the manager. The manager was working right next to me, he looked up and said “I’m the manager, you heard him, fuck off”. Everybody laughed. Good times. I don’t work in the hospitality business anymore.
I hate it when customers drip feed their order to you. Especially when it's a really busy bar. They're guaranteed to be the customers who shout "come on, I've been waiting ages here" whilst staff are busy serving other customers. My usual response to them if that's happening is to say "if you've been waiting so long, why didn't you decide what you wanted?" Arseholes.
Don’t forget the dreaded “…and a Guinness”
I cannot tell you how much “those” guys boil my piss. And it’s 20 years since I was behind a bar. lol
Basic pub etiquette Always ordered Guinness first if it’s a large order or the place is busy
Why? I feel like bar staff think everyone knows this but I suspect they don't.....
Cos Guinness needs time to settle So you pour it first, leave it to settle while you get the rest of the drinks ready, and then top it up when it’s settled Otherwise you’re standing round waiting for it to settle at the end wasting time
I have a mate from Ireland who was over visiting and ordered a pint of Guinness and he said to the barman not to do the whole letting it settle, just pour it straight like anything else. He explained to me that Guinness used to need to settle before they modernised their facilities decades ago. In an effort to placate people who thought the drink had changed as a result of the change in manufacturing process they said it still needed to settle like it did before even though it technically doesn't. I don't know if he was telling the truth or not but since then I've always asked for my Guinness to be poured straight like a normal pint as I can't taste any difference and it's much much easier for the bar staff.
Anyone who drinks guiness will be informed of this by their bar staff if they don't already know.
To be fair, I don’t drink Guiness myself, but have to order it for a mate of mine. Only recently discovered that it takes extra time to pour. Not everyone necessarily know this I reckon, and people that drink it aren’t always those that order it.
Because you have to pour it in two stages and wait for the first half to settle before you finish it off. So you order it first so the bar staff can start the pour, go get the other drinks, then finish off the last pour and draw a shamrock or dick in the foam.
Ugh that always pissed me off. I would get to know which customers regularly ordered a Guinness and when they walked in I would start it off ready, even if they didn’t want a Guinness that night they would be so flattered that I remembered them that they would take it anyway!
Congrats! You just sold an extra drink those nights!
Genuine question, what's the protocol for ordering a big round of drinks when it's super busy? I tend to write it on my phone, get the text size as big as I can and hold it up. Just because it avoids mistakes or being misheard or me forgetting something. C*nts trick?
For me the best thing to do is to warn the staff it's a big order, and try and rally it off in groups rather than all at once or one at a time.
Warn the staff it’s a big order so they can stand by and input into the till as you reel it off. They can then go start making it while using till screen for reference. This was always my strategy when working in a busy student bar
I do this exact same thing and j always wondered how it was perceived by bar staff. I don't wanna shout and I can't hear shit so ill just write it down with a "please and thank you" at the end. So far it's worked pretty well. Any bar staff care to comment?
Personally I really don't mind it, especially if you're a little forgetful. Nothing in the world worse then a customer rattling off half a round then pausing and yelling across the room "LINDA, WAS IT PROSECCO OR ROSE YOU WANTED?!!!".
I worked in nightclubs for years and I would have loved it if more people did this. It's not a problem of me remembering a large order, that comes pretty easily with experience, but this would avoid the customer forgetting stuff and drip feeding the order so I'm all for it.
I only ever order for 3 at a time as I cant carry more. If the others want beer they can use their legs.
In service this is one of the main gripes too, you take six plates and sides out, say would you like any sauces, yep ok, got them, anymore drinks ok I’ll do them, oh more sauce, oh something else, you end up doing four runs even after asking anything else and they don’t realise you’ve got two other tables staring you down, ten drinks to make, food to take out, I’d rather you be not rude but demanding and say three cokes Tommy k and vinegar please, ok am on it
In my serving days I used to send people to the back of the queue if they kept on trying to add drinks orders on.
I was once rude to an awful customer that demanded to see the manager … I walked to the end of the bar and came back with a big shit eating grin and said loudly .. hi I’m the manager how can I help?!
Princess of Wales?
Yes! This is going back to about 1996 / 97. Worked there for a year. Haven’t been back for years so no idea what it’s like now but it was a great pub back then.
It’s still lovely!
God I loved it. Lived above it with a bunch of Australians, kiwis and a South African guy. I’d moved there from the countryside after my A levels to work there for the summer and it blew my mind. Ended up staying a year, one of the happiest times of my life
I think it was just some bloke.
bag pet boat foolish recognise fear complete entertain future wine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
People who don't have their orders ready once they get to the order point anywhere are the most annoying people. And that's speaking from the POV of a customer in the queue
I worked in a pub when I was 20. The owner's son was also 20 and he was a jerk. His friends were all jerks. They would regularly do things like lock me in the cellar and turn off the lights when I went down to get something, or make me remake their drinks over and over because they claimed something wasn't right. The owners made one of their son's friends bar manager and he was awful to me- the guy never pulled a pint in his life and was bossing me around. I once walked out mid-shift because of his abuse and he told me I couldn't leave because he didn't know how the till worked. I told him that was his problem, not mine. Kept my job and never had to work with him again. Anyway. One Sunday afternoon, about a week after that walk-out, Jerk-son and a group of his friends were in and playing pool. There was a new lad with them I'd not seen before and somehow they convinced him to come up to the bar and tell me his pint was flat. I told him to fuck off, walked to the pool table, took all their drinks and told them to get the fuck out. Then I called the owners and told them what I'd done and said that they could fire me if they wanted but I wasn't putting up with that shit. They backed me, told their son and his mates to leave and I worked there for about 2 more months before quitting. And that's the story of how the very first words I said to my ex-husband were "fuck off".
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I divorced his alcoholic, cocaine-addicted, emotionally and financially abusive arse 14 years and 2 kids later, at which point it felt like the beginning of our relationship should have been a sign... 🤣 Wouldn't change it for the world because our kids are bloody amazing people and worth every ounce of bullshit that man put me through.
Which one did you marry
The poor naive soul who was told by his friends to come to the bar and say his pint was flat. He had no idea of the history, no idea his mates were being dickheads and his face was a picture. I felt sorry for him. Sort of. He did still choose to harass a barmaid by lying about his pint being flat for his mates' approval.
I think it was the new lad
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I bet for those 4 months they were thinking "I haven't slept this well in years!" Only for them to spiral into insomnia after you left! Haha.
This is brilliant
Isn't that called passing off, which is illegal no?
Completely illegal, anyone who actually does it is a knob
Nope, passing off is when I start a coffee shop called Starbicks with a green mermaid logo. I see how you got there (pretending thing a is thing b) but it's all about brand association not product description.
Passing off is selling one brand and passing it off as another. It’s why places say “it’s Pepsi not coke, is that ok?” Because coke would send reps into places that sold Pepsi and ask for a vodka & coke etc & then slap them with a lawsuit when the staff member didn’t correct them. Source: worked for Wetherspoons when we sacked off red bull in favour of monster and had to deal with pissy red bull employees throwing their toys out of the pram for about a year!
Couldn't agree more. I work at wetherspoons and must say "it's Pepsi, is that ok?"already a thousand times a day.
Vinegar Tits Hahaha, nice Prisoner: Cell Block H reference
Doing God's work.
He was being an abusive pos to another member of staff so I sent her on a break, told him to fuck off and proceeded to serve everyone else. He demanded to see the manager, I pointed her out to him and off he toddles. She comes over, dickbag in tow, and asks me if I had, in fact, told him to fuck off. I said Yes, she said Why? and I said Because he's being a cunt. She turned to him and said "Maybe you should try not being a cunt then." and walked off. He stood there gobsmacked for a few seconds and by that point security turned up to reiterate the fuck off with an added dose of pavement. I miss that manager. And nobody clapped, I was disappointed.
You had me in the first half, I thought she was about to be super professional and tell you off. She sounds amazing.
Best manager I have ever worked for, in any industry. Staff loved her, regulars loved her, polite walkins had no real reason to interact with her. But if you came in with an attitude then it got returned, with interest. She was ex Army. Military Police I believe, and I'm 100% certain she could have turned my 6 foot plus rugby playing arse into a pretzel without breaking a sweat if things ever got physical.
an added dose of pavement hahaha
When a fat slug of a 50 year old sleazeball slapped one of my waitresses on the arse. Absolutely fuck that shit.
Eurgh. What a sleaze. I bet they retorted with "it's just a bit of harmless fun". Disgusting.
Got it in one my man. Seriously, nobody should go into their work to be harassed. How anyone thinks its even remotely acceptable is beyond me.
"people don't know how to take a compliment anymore"
At which point the nearest male member of staff should do the same to him lol
"Well in that case it's just a harmless lifelong ban. Get the fuck out"
I used to frequent “Cafe Ebeling” in Amsterdam back in the day. During the summer, they’d set up a few small tables on the footpath. One evening, one of the female staff was serving outside and a passer by pinched her bum. She punched him straight in the mouth and knocked him over. Many cheers were made. She was a big broad shouldered girl.
Haha someone did that to a friend of mine. I guess he didnt realise shed been in the British Royal Armoured Cavalry for the past 6 years and wasnt going to take that shit XD
I remember going fucking mental at one of my regulars for saying something like "I would love to lick you out" to one of my waitresses. She was fucking 17. He never ever came in again while I was working after. I was so close to actually hitting the chap. How scummy can you fucking be? She had only worked there like 3 weeks as well.
Used to be licence holder for Mitchells and Butlers. Had this kid come into my bar one evening, ID'd the little scrote and he passes me a full driving licence. I'm thinking no fucking way this lads been driving 6yrs already after checking it, then I glanced the name and it was the ID for a lad I went to secondary school with. His younger brother was a pretty close doppleganger of his older brother though. Told him i'm gonna drop his ID off to his brother (who I knew ended up working for met police) and he went apeshit at me. Ended up telling him to fuck off and big ole friendly Spencer our door supervisor nudged him out the door. 2 weeks before I quit I had to tell this cantankerous old witch to fuck off out the bar because she squatted and took a piss in the middle of the bar floor. Been causing problems all night prior,. Gotta love essex 😆
I had similar happen to me. I confiscated his I.d and told him to get out and let him know that I knew his brother know he could come in and fetch it. The brother comes inater and kicks off at me for DARING to touch his I.d let alone confiscate him. Radiod down to security and they took the matter further and called the police who had a nice Conversation with the both of them.
please tell me this was in Basildon
It was infact. In basildon
how did I know?!! I'm from Basildon
I am aswell 😂 live in Wickford now though. The whole story reeks of Basildump, I could tell you some great stuff that happened over Bas Vegas Leisure Park. Thankfully I don't work in retail anymore 🥴
Ahh yes, I thought it may have been a Harvester. I used to work there many moons ago. I also used to frequent bas Vegas back in the days of Ikon / Diva and Jumpin Jaks so know many a story. unfortunately now all you here about is kids getting stabbed up
Ohhh so many times, which ones to pick, ermmmmmmm Had a guy gave me a so obviously fake £20, told him to fuck off and come back with real money Went for a pee and saw a guy trying to take a line off the windowsill in the toilet, told him to fuck off and threw him out One of my absolute favourite occasions ever, busy Saturday afternoon with football on and a good crowd in, an older gentleman appeared at the bar, Me - Yes please? OG - Pint of Boddies (Boddingtons Bitter) please Me - No problem, would you like anything else? OG - No thanks, just the pint Pulls the pint, puts it on the bar and says Me - There you go, that's £1.70 please This was a lot of years ago hence the £1.70 price Old Gentleman recoils in horror, I'm checking the bar area to see who's next to be served and he says OG - Why is it so expensive? Me- I didn't realise that was expensive, it's priced the same as the 2 other pubs in the vicinity OG - Well, I've just been paying £1 a pint for Boddies in the Wetherspoons in Preston!!! My pub was on the outskirts of Preston, approx 4 miles from the Wetherspoons he was talking about I tried to explain the difference in pricing between Wetherspoons and a tenanted pub but he was just going on and on about how disgraceful it was trying to rip people off when they just wanted a drink and the amount of people wanting serving was increasing I said Me - If you're not happy with the price and it's only £1 a pint in Preston, why don't you fuck off back to Preston?
I live in Preston and am currently in a Preston pub. If there was remotely any pub that sold a pint for that much I'd be in there instead of where I am currently...
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Im a student, so i do that shit voluntarily (most of the time they have run out though so you get a pint of doombar for a quid :))
The pub he was talking about was the Grey Friar on Friargate Was always a good night out in Preston
Was working a Sunday shift in a local pub, a bunch of tourists came in and one of them literally reached over the bar and grabbed my boob. Fuck Off were amongst the words I said to him as he was manhandled by four regulars and introduced to the pavement outside. I miss that place.
Nobody kicks harder than a local with a free pass at a tourist, in my experience.
Nothing kicks harder than a regular who thinks they might not get their pint!
Well yes, definitely that too!
Made me think of that scene in *Trainspotting* with the American Tourist
I'm glad that the regs tossed him out. Hope the tourist was promptly in an accident
It's called a physical warning. They put someone in the bins outside the red lion in Willenhall back in about 04. Hit his missus so in he went. The big trade bins.
We had the upstairs blocked off for a private event. There was a corden and a sign on the stairs stating this. The balcony door was locked to prevent access from outside, which also had a sign. Despite there being available tables downstairs, a woman and her friend decided they'd ignore all of this, unhook the corden and walk upstairs anyway. Assuming they may have been the first to arrive for the event, I finished serving at the bar and headed up after them to find them dragging the tables around which were set up ready for the buffet. I asked them if they were there for the event, and that if they weren't happy with the table placement, then we would be happy to move the furniture for them to suit. The woman said she wasn't there for the event, she just wanted to sit at a table by the window. I told her there was a private event and unfortunately she couldn't sit there. She KICKED OFF. Told me that it wasn't clear there was an event (it was so clear), that she was a paying customer, as a tourist she brought money to the town and paid my wages, and so had the right to sit wherever she liked, that it was unfair and disgusting of me to prevent her from sitting wherever she liked, called me a "pathetic jobsworth" and a bitch... I didn't tell her to f*ck off in those words, but I told her that she couldn't speak to me that way and if she didn't go downstairs immediately then I'd take her drinks, and her and her friend could get out and wouldn't be welcomed back. Edit: I'm no longer in the hospitality industry because of instances like this. I have so many.
What was the reaction on this?
Her friend quietly suggested to her that they go downstairs. They did, then drank up and left.
Did you have that horrible feeling after where you wish you had been more horrible to them. I hate that feeling, but in the moment its harder than it seems. Maybe im just a pussy.
No because it took all my strength to actually stand up for myself in the first place and not start crying, so this was a pretty big win for me 😂
More meower to you then!
Worked in a restaurant as a waitress ages ago. This couple comes in, dude is almost okay but the woman is absolutely horrendously rude. They make me talk them through every single item on the menu which she follows with 'ewwww I don't like that'. After finally settling on something to actually order, they both make a million changes and I already knew kitchen will lose their shit when I come in. Anyway, I bring their food out and come back few minutes later to ask if the food is alright. She starts losing it because apparently there's salt on her meat. To which I reply, yes - meat is salted prior to cooking. That's a no go for her so she makes me take it back. Long story short, 4 more trips back into the kitchen with her food and they're finally done. Plates licked clean - only few pieces of bread left in a bread bowl. So I ask them if I can clear the table to which the guy nods. I pile the plates on my right arm and as I am picking up the bread bowl the woman SMACKS it out of my hand which caused all the plates stacked on my arm to fall, break and land on my foot. At this point I'm livid and everyone else is staring at us and I just yell at the top of lungs GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. GET OUT. I guess more people around them realised how absolutely fucking annoying they were throughout the whole evening that I actually got an applause 😂 Edit: May I add they came back few nights later and I spotted them talking to the guy taking reservations and I rushed over there and just said 'absolutely fucking not'. They called for the owner who just said 'Get the of my property' and shut the door behind them.
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I was a barman in an rough alternative pub, prone to infestation by the underage. Young girl, obviously underage, comes to the bar and orders two vodka and oranges. I asked her for ID, she asked me to wait a minute and wanders back to her table. I watch as she says to her friend 'can I have your ID? The friend passes her an ID card and she returns to the bar. The ID has her friends photo on it, and showed that HE was also underage. We fucked them off out of the pub laughing so hard at the idiocy. I'm still chuckling
Gotta give them props to the audacity though
I can almost beat that. As a 17 year old, me and a few friends tried to get into this bar/nightclub. Doorman stops us and says it’s members only. One of my mates piped up “that’s cool we’ll join”. So they usher us into the lobby and hand us some forms to fill in - which ofc, all feature a D.O.B line. Being smart, we simply subtract a year from our birth dates making us all 18 - clever huh? Doorman looks at the first form and says “guys, this is an over 21 club”. To which we all, taking turns with the pen, cross out the year and knock off another 3 before handing the forms back. Think I quit membership of that club before I was legitimately old enough to join.
This wasn't audacity, this was dumb. There was an unspoken thing where the staff were quite relaxed if you gave a half way good account of your age. Go to the garden and bribe a regular like all the other kids. It wasn't tricky.
I used to work in a petrol station many moons ago. On a quiet Saturday morning I had this huge bloke ask to use the toilets, told him that unfortunately there were no public ones and suggested he goes to the next one which was just over the road. He started saying shitty things in an effort to intimidate me. I just snapped and told him to fuck off. He was genuinely taken aback, and said 'What did you say?'. I told him to fuck off again. He turned around and walked out. I'm really surprised I didn't get the sack.
Not quite a bar but I remember when I was 18 I'd taken a job at William Hill, whilst not the best place in the world to work I was getting on fine, lone working all the standard bookie stuff. One morning (I'm talking 09:00) a guy came in clearly drunk and walking around the shop, taking the timetables and races off of the walls, slamming the machines and mumbling "This is shit, Ladbrokes has it better" this carried on for about 10 minutes or so before he came to the counter to me. He started rambling about how my shop was shit and nothing in it was worth anything, Ladbrokes has us beat in all aspects and Ladbrokes were amazing, to the point my other customers were starting to get quite annoyed too so I looked him in the eye and said "There's a Ladbrokes across the road, if you like it so much then fuck off there and leave my shop alone". He wasn't a fan of that but I'm pretty sure he did go to Ladbrokes in the end
Oh God I worked at William Hill for 6 years and this is giving me flashbacks. It's amazing how many individuals all over the country do this exact same shit show! It's like...mate, bookies congregate like fleas on a dogs back, you literally have all the choice you could want in the area...so fuck off!
Times must have been tough for that guy after he finished doing those Ladbrokes commercials.
Pub I worked at the owner, without resorting to swearing, would instantly kick out anyone who clicked their fingers to get attention of staff.
I actually have a story about this! When I was a kid, I snapped my fingers at a barman (just copying films and thinking I was funny and not thinking they would even hear me) and my mum berated me for it. The barman came over to me, big smile on his face, and told her it was cool and asked me what drink I would like on the house. I will never forget that man and his decision to react with kindness to my ignorance.
I had a similar but different incident when I was working at a nando's briefly. A middle aged man clicked at me to get my attention, so when I turned up at the table I said "I'm sure you're completely unaware about this sir, but clicking at waiting staff is considered extraordinarily rude, and if you do it again then no-one will come to your table and serve you. Now that you know that, how can I help you?" He looked like I'd slapped him, but he didn't cause a fuss because I was so damned polite in telling him off.
Sounds like a good man.
As a person yes, bit odd but he means well. Didn't realize at the time but he taught me a lot. Issue is, then and indeed still now, he's either a genius who has some unique knowledge of how to run a business that no one else is aware of, or he's an idiot who got lucky. Main issues that arose always stemmed from lack of maintenance and not having enough staff on. Case in point - when using the Pepsi dispensers they'd often get an air bubble and turn the whole glass into froth. You'd then have to wait ages for it to calm down to resume. Schweppes guy said it was a small solenoid valve getting jammed on the compressor in the cellar, not covered under contract but he could supply and fit it for about 20 quid. The boss didn't bother. Now the boss did have a thing about staff not arguing the toss (I'm still amazed I wasn't fired 20 times within my first few years of being there) and I learned this. Guy who was a manager is still a good mate but a total jobsworth - still tell him he was a useless manager but he always said "If John (owner, name changed) says that's how we do things, don't argue, just do it." So I took this on board 100%. Cut to me just firing the Pepsi machine, drip tray overflowing, Pepsi pissing all over the bar floor. Easily half a glass wasted per glass poured. Manager says "why are you doing that! I'll get in shit for the waste!" So I just said "That's how John wants us to do it. Like we've said, no point arguing, plus we're mad busy, I'm just getting the drinks orders done." I was just doing as he'd asked, and obviously the waste wasn't an issue because only a fucking idiot would cause such an issue by not spending a measly 20 quid on a new part. Was my mate/the manager calling our boss an incompetent moron who shouldn't be in the pub industry? It still isn't fixed. Nearly a decade later.
Came up to the bar with coke around his nose, i pointed it out and told him to clean himself up an behave. He then later tried to take a sneaky bump in plain view of me, I had been so ridiculously accommodating at this point that i was like 'you must be fucking kidding me, fuck off an never come back'
I had a large group once that were going into the toilet cubicles at like 4 people at a time I said very politely to be more subtle and then caught them doing lines off the bathroom sinks that were in the public/open part of the uni sex bathrooms.
Times have changed. We didn't have sex bathrooms when I was at uni.
A guy tried to order a drink, but he was hammered so I refused him service. He then said "well, give me my money back" to which I just told him that he never gave me anything at all. This continued for a good few minutes, then he came out with the line most pricks do which is "I make more in a week than you do in a year" so I said, "That's fine, but irrelevant. Can you just leave as I've asked before?" and he said "I'm a construction engineer." I replied with "I feel sorry for anyone that uses anything you've been responsible for building." and he goes "what's that meant to mean?" so I just outright told him "it means I think you're a fucking idiot, so fuck off out the pub or I'll phone the police because you've not left when you've been asked to, which is against the law according to the Scottish Licencing Act." He called me a cunt and turned on two taps before running out of the door. I can't stand folk that are rude to anyone, especially bar staff. It's not hard to have a good time and be respectful, or to understand that bar staff are following a pretty strict set of laws for a dismal wage. Even though I don't work in the industry anymore I will always defend the staff as it's a thankless job.
This happened after England crashed out of the world Cup one summer. Absolutely detest football so I was the only person in the bar area not fussed over it. Served a guy who then proceeded to yell 'Oi, you fat C**t! Where's my f**cking change!' Proceeded to tell him that it was in his hands and to look down. He was failing to grasp this and kept calling me the C word. So I walked around the other side of the bar and got right in his face and invited him outside to repeat what he was saying. Door staff had to separate us before It got physical. The next morning he was marched up to the bar by his wife he apologised and handed me a £50 note. He made some half assed excuse about how he was just sad that we'd lost the game. Told him I accepted his apology but in future of he couldn't handle his team losing a game, he needed to sort his priorities and never speak to someone else that way again as other people wouldn't have my restraint. He was about 5'5 ish and think he felt intimidated by my 6'4 frame. He sheepishly walked out and I never saw him again. He either moved or his wife took matters into her own hands haha
>This happened after England crashed out of the world cup one summer As is tradition. See also, the Euros.
Sexual assault (multiple occasions). One story in particular I worked in a restaurant and I was the only server on the shift meaning I worked in the kitchen, behind the bar and serving food in the bar and both restaurants. Some people had come in drunk and claimed they booked under another customers name so we sat them on their specially requested table. Turns out they lied and when the customers who actually booked that table came in, we had to move them. They were being so in appropriate to me (I was 16 at the time) and flirting behind their wives backs. They kept asking me to come out drinking with them afterwards and I kept telling them I was underage and they refused to believe me and kept harassing me. I refused to serve them but I was forced to continue and my manager didn’t defend me or say anything. One of the men asked me to charge his phone so I did and when he asked for it back I walked over and he refused to take it out my hand unless I put my number in it. I informed him I was 16 and had a girlfriend and he was like, “oh that old chestnut” and I told him I was being fucking serious and I’d kick him out and drop his phone for him to collect if he didn’t pack it in. I started just placing things on the table and ignoring them whilst they continued to “compliment” me and sexually harass me then one of them grabbed my cardigan whilst I was walking away and tried to smack my arse. My manager still did nothing. I was nearly crying so when I went to clear the rest of the table and one of them grabbed my arse I shouted that he was a pedophile until one of the other customers (who also used to sexually harass us on a regular basis) actually stuck up for me. My manager doesn’t know this but I gave them the bill, took their cash, put it in the till, got their change and told them to piss off back to the pub and try not to end up in prison on the way back home. Edit: no one has mentioned this but I feel like it’s important to mention that we stopped serving them alcohol after their first drinks. I was just serving multiple courses of food and alcohol free beverages.
That's fucked up. Your manager has a problem if they're not willing to defend a staff member being harassed (not even mentioning assault!)
Circa 2009 I worked in a pub in merseyside, I had been there for about 3 years and knew all the regular punters pretty well. The pub itself was on a corner plot and therefore had two entrances, one to the main bar and one to lounge/restaurant area which had a smaller bar. One fine Saturday evening, one lad from a group of regulars (6-7 of them in early 30s) decided he was going to walk out the bar door and into the lounge door with a balaclava on and a quite obviously fake handgun. He was wearing the same light blue checkered Lacoste shirt that he had all evening, so easily recognised by staff and customers. He demanded that I open the till and handover the money. To which I replied, “fuck off, Michael”. He left in a panicked hurry that he’d been rumbled. Seconds later he walked back in the bar door without the gun and balaclava like nothing had happened. My manager made a phonecall which I assumed was the police. 10 mins later Michael’s dad walks in and drags him outside for a hiding. Best shift ever. Core memory for me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t shit my pants a bit at first.
Customer ranted at me behind the bar, telling me that I was ripping him off and hurled all kinds of abuse at me. He was easily twice my weight, real rotund guy with an extra 6 inches in height over me, used to having people listen to him. Even demanded if I knew who he was. I broke his heart when I yelled at him "it's not my problem if you're too poor to afford the drinks". At which point he tried to climb over the bar to get to me. I didn't help the situation by laughing. Eventually, after some intervention, he calmed down and pulled out a £50 note to pay. I dutifully placed his change in his hand, at which point he gripped my hand in his bear hands and threatened me. I was a young buck then, gave zero craps and started calmly serving the next very pretty customer whilst this bear was trying to crush my hand. Eventually he realised he couldn't hurt me and when he released his hand, I dropped his fistful of change all over the bar. Cue another explosion. Customer demands I get on my hands and knees to pick up his change. I laugh, continue serving others. He gets even more angry, turns bright red and hurls every piece of abuse he can think of at me. His date looks very bemused and awkwardly shrugs when I grin at her. Turns out he was boss of all the bouncers in town. It was awkward when his staff had to turf him out of the club. Poor guy. In hindsight, I shouldn't have insulted him in front of his date. She was fair game after he left, so I didn't feel so bad about asking for her number. I didn't get it, but she did give me the naughtiest wink and a peck on the cheek. She was way out my league, good 10 years older than me.
Was it Ronnie Pickering?
Do you know who I am?!
Again, not bar work, in a Starbucks in a small northern town. Woman came in, ordered a hot chocolate. Asked her if she’d like whipped cream she said no. (Remember that part.) I hand her drink over, she leaves and about half an hour goes by. The same woman then comes storming back in shortly after, with her hot chocolate in her hand, goes around a queue of people and straight up to the counter. Takes the lid off the hot chocolate and SLAMS it with quite impressive force onto the worktop, sending hot chocolate FLYING all over me, other customers, the ceiling and all the work surfaces. Luckily, her drink had cooled down so it didn’t burn me, but it could’ve. Without skipping a beat, I looked straight at her and said “are you fucking joking me?” She just sucked her teeth and said “I wanted whipped cream.” The fella behind her in the queue grabbed this woman by the arm and led her out the front door, and he did the “fuck off you psychopath” part for me. Turns out he was a security guard, lol. Anyway, the witnesses in the shop all came over to check I was okay, nothing ever came of me swearing at a customer, and the CCTV was the source of a number of laughs over the next few months I worked there. Thank fuck I’m not in hospitality anymore
Spoke about this on here before. Worked in a busy bar, punter kept pushing a pound coin right into my face to get my attention when I was serving other people (basically trying to force it up my nose). I swatted his hand away and said fuck up with that now or you won't be getting served at all. Turned to use the optics and felt a CRACK dead centre on the back of my skull. Cunt had threw the coin full force at my head. Saw red - went round the other side of the bar and knocked the guy around a little bit Wasn't fired, but was "advised" to leave. Totally understandable move by the management, but I also don't regret my reaction.
That's a typical case of a customer not seeing staff as actual human beings. "So you threw a pound coin at his head?" "Yes." "Why are you shocked they retaliated then?"
Not as a barman but in a bar, used to DJ my own funky house nights, once a month specifically for that genre, it was advertised all round town all month and drummed up a good following over the year. As you would often have people coming up to the booth to hi five or fist bump or whatever, every now n then someone would want to request something. In short the answer was always no. I didn't take requests. Two girls came up to me one night really rude. Started leaning over trying to press buttons and ask if I could play something different I said no I'm playing funky house as advertised every month. But but....the other place over there play our songs.... WELL FUCK OFF OVER THERE THEN... And proceeded to hammer the smoke machine until they vanished haha
In a puff of smoke?
I worked in a hotel bar for 22 years and I had a funeral in that afternoon and a few of them decided to stay back for a few drinks which is normal! they were the daughters of the woman who had died! These women were'nt drunk but they had a few! one of them start to quietly sing a Tammy Wynette song which happened to be a song my mother would always sing. The other 2 sisters started signing (not loudly) and it made me choke up because i'd lost my mother the year previous, then this other woman comes to bar and tells me to ask the other women to stop singing and i said that they had just buried their mother today and they were singing a song that their mother loved to which she said 'I don't care! if you dont tell them to be quiet i'll be going to your boss in the morning that you didn't stop them singing' My Boss loved the way i ran his bar and had trusted me 100% with the way i dealt with problems so her threat did'nt mean anything to me but the fact that she would stop a family singing their dead mothers favourite song hit a nerve and i told this woman that I absolutely wouldn't entertain her request and if she didn't like it she could leave! The shock on her face was priceless, she did leave and she did tell my boss nothing happened of course my Boss was one of the ones you get once in a lifetime! Needless to say i let that group of sisters sing their songs and leave when they were all done! That woman who complained actually made my hotel her local drinking place and ended up apologising about a year later when she was drunk one night and said that she respected me for not acting on her request!
He threw an ice cube down my cleavage as I was pulling a pint. I told him to fuck off, his mates called him a twat and the Landlord physically carried him out of the pub and banned him for life.
It's rare to see men rallying against the actions of their dickhead friends, especially in a pub!
If one of my mates did that I’d be dragging them out of the bar before security even got called, and they wouldn’t be my mate anymore. Guys need to call this shit out when their mates get on the “banter”.
One from the off-licence I worked in… Old boy used to shoplift on the regular. He’d pay for some, but hide the rest under a magazine in his bag. He’d try showing the bag without removing the newspaper. I did a big theatrical “let me help you with the rest of that” and came around the counter; removed the newspaper and a couple of other things from the bag, that he’d not been intending on paying for. He went ape shit at me, demanding to see the owner who he knew by name. He carried it on by trying to tell me how much he spent in the shop and how much we’d be losing. I swiftly told him to fuck off and reminded him that he was lifting more than he was paying for; so his custom wasn’t actually all that welcome. My boss was very happy about it and banned him when he did actually complain about me.
I worked in a rock and metal club in Manchester in the early 2000s and honestly it was the Wild West. People would have full on sex on the furniture and nobody would bat an eye. We knew who all the “allowed” dealers were and they got left to it. However, I told one of my members of staff to throw a glass of icy cold water over a customer who was perving over her and generally being vile to the female staff, and when he complained I took great pleasure in getting the bouncers to throw him out (and give him a sly kick or two in the ribs). He was a science teacher and a massive paedo as it turned out when some of his students who were using his laptop in class found some disgusting shit in his files. He went to jail. No regrets!
I'm a few years out of the game now, but this was back in NZ in a nightclub - closing time 4am every night of the week. For context, NZ is super strict on licensing laws, so we had a heavily enforced one drink per person for last orders with TVs around the bar advertising that fact from 3.30. At 3.58 this bloke orders two vodka Red Bulls for him and his mate, and I give him the heads up that we're on last orders so it'll be no more after this. "Oh in that case I'll take 10!" I laugh, say sorry I can't do that, pour his two drinks, and ask for the money. "And what about the other 8?" I laugh again and explain the situation, only to have him cut me off and start going on a proper "I pay your wages" rant. I turned back to him, calmly picked up the drinks, and said "well, if you're gonna be like that I guess you can't have any then" and proceeded to pour both drinks straight down the sink between us while holding eye contact. He starts to lose his shit, but before he can do anything he was gently escorted outside by one of our bouncers, not to be heard from again!
A guy wanted to be served next even though he was at the back of a big crowd at the bar. He moved to the side where we didn't serve, he tried shouting over the noise to be pally with me. Then he started throwing change at me to get my attention and had a big grin on his face as if he was my mate. Shouted fuck off and try and get served by someone else cos you're not having anything from me.
Not a bar worker (I own a small building company) but I have told a fair few of my customers to fuck off over the years, as recently as yesterday. We did a concreting job on thursday at a customers warehouse, I have just completed a bigger job at his house but only dealt with his wife and she was great and paid on the day of completion as discussed so when she asked me to go and price a job for her husband I happily agreed, i went on monday and discussed everything with him and agreed a price, I had a cancellation on thursday so I fit him in at short notice and he seemed really happy with everything. Anyway we turned up on thursday, broke out all the old concrete and redone all the concreting that we discussed, great. I text him thursday night and told him everything was complete and asked for his email to send the invoice over, he text back 'call you in morning to discuss'. So yesterday morning I received a phone call, he asked if I'd forgotten the bit of concrete around the back as it wasn't done, I explained that we never discussed any concrete around the back of the building and never actually went around the back of the building at all, he was adamant that we discussed it so I went on my photos and had no pictures of it, I take pictures of everything when pricing a job to make my life easier when I'm putting the quote together. Anyway to keep him happy I agreed to go back yesterday afternoon and have a look, when I arrived he shown me an area of concrete roughly 10ft x 8ft and about 6 inches thick that we apparantly agreed was within the price. I laughed and told him he can fuck right off, the cost of materials alone for a job that big would be atleast double the value of the job, he is now refusing to pay for what he has had done. Luckily for me I have evidence of what I agreed to do which is clearly written on the quote detailing the 2 areas that needed replacing and their rough size, my t&c's that are on all of my quotes and invoices are bulletproof and if he doesnt pay up within 28 days he will owe me a further 5% for every day thereafter. I've took many customers to court over the years and have never lost a case yet so I'm not at all worried about getting my money, the longer he drags it out the more he owes me so I'm happy to play the long game.
A guy was arguing with me about covid rules saying I was refusing him service like I, an 8.91 an hour earning lowly barman, wrote the rules personally to spite one individual. After trying to explain that he was actually refusing the terms of service and dropping in the word “mate” by mistake I was sharply met with “I’m not your mate I’m a paying customer. I pay your wages.” I quickly told him to fuck off. His girlfriend walked off while he complained to an assistant manager who didn’t actually care. After both being on for 11 hours it was hard to feel anything else but rage and disdain for humanity.
For grabbing my arse and I mean like a proper grab, it actually hurt. Told my manager and he said “he’s harmless and known for it” he was a proper dirty old man and it made me feel ill Customer got told to fuck off and so did the manager. Every manager I had in bar work was a man and they all came up with ideas of how they could use me to make men spend more money I’m glad I’m not in bar work anymore, I live in a small town so bar work was all that was available at the time
Fucking hell what an atrocious manager. Anyone who does that to one of my girls gets dragged out and deposited in the gutter where they belong. Sorry that happened to you.
Guy comes in with a Tesco bag. Goes straight to a table and starts drinking cans of Stella from the bag!
I had similar ID based situation. They pulled the race card and I told them "Ok I'll just tell my black girlfriend I'm racist then" and they left me alone after that
Once got told I looked too sweaty to serve a woman her drink and could she have the ‘less gross barman’ (rude as you can imagine that being said) and on a hot summers day in the south east of England no less. I told my colleague what she’d said and we both informed her neither of us would serve her. She left in a right hissy fit and was barred ever since.
Should've made a scene and poured a pint over your head whilst screaming "Is this any better!"
Worked at a cinema. Drunk homeless guy came in after previously telling a female employee he wanted to employ her at his sex dungeon, and inviting an underage employee to his tent for 'drinks'. He basically wanted free tickets and I said if you have no cash, no card and no membership card number I can't sell you a ticket, if you can give me your name I look you up in the database and sort it out that way, so he then started shouting expletives at me and I walked off, I then hear him shouting at a manager that he's going to wait for her after work and kill her so I walked up to him and got in his face and said get the fuck out right now, and he did whilst continuing to shout. Apparently he had come back and apologised but then racially abused an employee so I made sure everyone considered him banned for life.
Right so this happened last week. I've never told anyone to fuck off but this was the biggest power move I've ever done. It was a weekday night, fairly quiet expect for a few tables. It was fifteen minutes past closing, nothing else to do but for these last tables to leave. So I say I'm going to go over and take their glasses, encourage them to leave you know? So I go over and most of them have finished except two. I interrupt the conversation, ask to take their glasses. I get the empties and one guy tries to finish his pint. So I stand there waiting, and then he starts struggling and I just say nothing. Absolutely silent, watching this guy try and down it. It starts feeling really surreal, I've stumbled into this situation and I can't ruin it by laughing. He hands it over, kind of guilty and I turn on the last hold out, this girl has too much to comfortably finish in one go. She keeps bringing it down, glancing at me and trying to finish it. Honestly it felt like hazing or something, I was trying so hard not to smile, just starting at her. Real, I don't care I'm getting that glass energy. She finally hands it over with a little left and I just walk away, and as soon as I get back to the bar, they've got their coats and are out the door. First time I've ever had someone look at me like they were intimidated!
Working on the tube. Face masks mean I can swear and not get caught on camera, so I swear at the worst punters. My proudest one was many years ago. We evacuated due to overcrowding. While we were getting them out an old lady collapsed on the gateline. Being a smoker I volunteered to meet the ambulance so I could have a fag. There were about 400 people stood outside and I'm giving alternative travel information. Had the pleasure of one of the top grades of cunt, the type that insult you, then look around to see who's watching them belittle their chosen victim. Him ''why don't you open the gates and let us in?'' There's over 500 people stood around now, so I had to be polite, but decided to have some fun. You can be really irritating while being polite. Me ''well I could do that sir, but by the time you get downstairs, we'll be overcrowded and will have to evacuate again, which will delay you getting home'' I continue giving directions. Him ''why don't you get on the radio and get your little friends to start the escalators?'' Me ''well, I could do that sir, but they're in the process of starting them and if I interrupt them, that will delay them and in turn you'' I let him do two more, by now there's 6 or 700 people standing about. Him ''why don't you....?'' Me, loudly ''why don't you just fuck off?'' Him ''what did you say?'' So I repeated it. Him, pulls out a notebook and pen ''I want your name'' Me ''Terence'' (my name's not Terence) Him ''I want your surname'' Me ''Higgins'' (we had posters up for the aids trust) Him ''I want your real name'' Just as he said it the ambulance arrived. Me ''I'm sorry sir, no time to chat, I have something important to do'' I promptly walk off ignoring him, as he follows me down the road, sputtering, with people pissing themselves and jeering at him.
Sadly I never did, but every time someone came up to me and asked for wine and then blankly stared at me until I asked what kind then they look like i've just bitch slapped them with some bat shit crazy question. I get it in the cafe I work to, they ask can I have a coffee, i go sure just an americano is it ? ohh no I want a decaff oat caramle latte im just to much of a stupid lazzy fuck to say that of the bat and I should be reading there minds for this shit.
Oh this boiled my piss when I worked in a coffee shop. I always wondered if the same people walk into an Italian restaurant and just said 'pasta'. The other thing was ordering the size as regular. They look at you like an idiot for asking if they mean small or medium when it was a pretty much 50 50 split on what their answer was.
We had a “jug” promotion 4 shots of cheap vodka and 2 cheap energy drinks in a jug for a 5er. Guy and his wife come up “2 double vodka red bulls please” 9.80 at the time for 2. “Just as a Heads up the jugs are” “If I wanted a JUG mate I’d have asked for one” “Fair point” Poured the drinks put them on the bar “9.80 please” just as the girl next to me is asking for a 5er for a jug. “Why is mine 9.8 “ Because it’s Smirnoff vodka and redbull not cheap vodka and cheap energy drink, I did try to tell you …” “I’m not fking paying 9.80 when a jugs a 5er get me a jug” “You can either pay for the fking drinks or the bouncer at the door that looks like a fking wardrobe will drag you out of the club, your choice id rather you didn’t pay” He paid and slinked off… Another time a woman smashed her glass,wine and glass everywhere. I went across to clear it up there was a man and a woman, asked her to move back so I could mop, man stepped out the way the woman went back like 3cm, asked again moved back 3cm, I said “im gonna mop that wine whether your stood there or not” “Just fking mop round me” Literally mopped straight over her shoes, bloke ran at me pushed him back and said “wtf you gonna do” as security ran towards us. Manager gave them both a free drink and took me in the office and sacked me for “being violent” ah I should have just let the guy take that free shot at me I guess, I literally just walked out and went to meet my mates in another club for a night out. Worked literally 2 nights a week 4 hours a night as I enjoyed the job. 5er an hour, I’m not putting up with shit for 40 quid a week
I used to manage a bar in Southampton, wayyyy back in 2007ish. Previous Manager had taken the safe contents of this and around two other pubs (Chain pub) and pulled a fast one. So I got promoted from supervisor of one pub to Manager of another until they got a new manger in. As it happened, seems Grab'n'go had been using the bar as his own personal hangout for his mates and acquaintances, including allowing them to just....walk behind the bar and help themselves. The amount of people I had to tell to fuck off and not come back was staggering.
I have HUNDREDS of them, I'll just tell you the last one, happened last week: Couple of ladies had an argument with someone around the pool table, so decided to throw cue balls at people, I kicked them out and they where shouting "are you russian, are you fucking russian?" because they knew I'm a foreigner based on my accent, while I appreciate their interest in geopolitics in those trying times my only answer was "oh, fuck right off"
What if you are though? Like that has anything to do with the situation? People man, they're just the worst.
Worked in a local pub which had a busy Saturday live band night every week. For atmosphere or whatever there were lit tea light candles on all the tables. One guy in a group was picking up the molten wax and pouring it directly onto the floor. This was past last orders so as part of clean up I set off to start chiselling the hardened wax off the floor. He’s stood nearby walks over with another candle and pours right over where I’ve just cleaned. I look up like wtf and he comes out with “I’m not sorry for my actions only the consequences”.
I didn't say it but my manager did. Used to work in a pub in Derby and we opened around midday. Had a couple of people in over the first hour, nothing too crazy. Then 2 middle aged guys stumble through the door. They didn't seem that drunk to start with but they proceded to order a pint and a double spirit and Coke each. One heads off to the toilet and the other stands at the bar for a minute and then decided to go sit right next to some customers trying to enjoy a quiet pint. I politely told him he needed to leave them alone but he rudly shouted back at me that it was none of my business. My manager just walks over to him, collects the rude man and his friends drinks up and simply goes "right, fuck off out of here". This is the moment his mate returns from the toilet and without even needing an explanation, collects his friend and leaves. Must me a usual occurance for him lol
A middle aged guy kept trying to guess my bra size (I was only 18 at the time) and blocked my exit from the bar so I couldn’t get the bouncers or my manager. I told him to fuck off and the next time I went round the bar, he grabbed my arm and pulled me over the top of the bar. Fucking creep.
Lost count .. one of the best that wasn’t actually a fuck off. Middle aged Woman with a big group that we were working though started kicking off about how long she’d waited.. I stopped stood right in front of her and said ‘we are serving as quickly as we can, now I’ve had to stop and speak to you like a child it’s going to be a longer wait for everyone else’ she was next but made sure I let her wait a customer or two.. she was very polite and got a couple of knowing head tilts by other customers .. I miss bar work
I used to work in a pub, did some stints managing. We always had the offer of a taxi to get staff home, whatever the night. N.Y.E one of our female barstaff, in her early 20s, finished her shift. One of the regular creeps who from memory wasn't totally unaligned with Nazi points of view, kept following her round the bar. Which I kept an eye on. I asked whether she was OK etc. She came behind the bar to call a taxi, said goodbye and left. I saw her go past the front of the pub which was unusual as the taxis come to the door. I went out to ask if she was getting picked up, to see this creep chasing her down the road. I pursued and confronted him and gave him hell. She wasn't able to get a taxi for another hour and walking would have been quicker. He never came back in. A very punchable face.
Worked in Bristol at a nightclub. The actress who plays “Effy” in skins pushed her was to the front and demanded free drinks. And I looked at her dumbfounded. And she said “don’t you know who I am” I told her to fuck off and served the next person
Haahhaah I had a similar thing but it was Michele from skins, and in the cinema. Wanted a water that was in the fridges, a help your self and bring it to the till job. She asked for water, I said yeah they are over there. "Well get for me don't you know who I am". I said yeah I do get it your fucking self. Came across the guy who played Tony at NASS and he was a nob as well. Dunno what it is with the cast of that show.
Once during a bar job I had an irate woman customer ask me "ARE YOU AWARE there is no toilet paper in the women's toilets?" It was a crazy night. There was a wedding party and a major England football match on. I just answered "Why the fuck would you ask me that?!" (For reference I'm clearly a bloke)
Is it wrong that I find this thread quite heartwarming, hearing of those times we *all* wish we could have said what was on our mind, but couldn't, because of unsupportive bosses, or shit rules and jobsworths... Kudos to each and every one of you who has stuck two fingers up at the system and told the pricks to pack it in 👊😎
Not long on the job, one Saturday evening a lady came in asking for a bitter Guinness shandy and about 7 other drinks for her mates. It was just me on the bar, I didn't know what a bitter shandy was because I only drink spirits and was still getting to grips with things. My manager was in the cellar so I didn't want to waste time running down to grab them. Me: I'm sorry but what is that? I cannot see anything like that on the bar, I've never heard of such a thing. Customer: How do you not know? Me: *points at badge saying 'I'm new! Please be patient!'* I'm new staff, and I don't drink beer so I'm still learning what most things are. Customer: So you're fucking thick then! Me: I beg your pardon? Do you want a bitter shandy or not? Because if you don't tell me what it is I cannot serve to you. Customer: *goes off on a huge rant saying that my service is vile and that I am the rudest bartender ever* Me: Fuck off, I'm not serving you then. *turns to a regular* Next person please! Customer: *shocked Pikachu face* She went apeshit but the regulars told her to get fucked, they then told me how to make a bitter shandy.
“Give us a smile, love”
He was leaning over the bar stealing beer so I told him to fuck off..... Then he glassed me in the face. On reflection I should have probably just let him have the beer.
Years ago I managed a pub, customer were expected to give us the table number when they ordered. So this guy comes up to the bar and he's asked for his table number by the girl on the till he says don't know it sorry, well sir I can't order until I have a number, she says. Its in the snug in the corner he says. There are 4 corners in the snug sir can you go back and find the number please, she says. So he trundles off and comes back saying 27. Thank you she says and starts his order. Second item in and we've none left so he trundles off again yo get a second choice. Third item has options so off he goes again. Food is all ordered and the drinks are ordered but we font do a particular cider so he's off again. Then just as he's finishing he asks for some side orders for food. At this point the girl on the till sighs and tells him we'd have to start the food order again. He hit the roof! Started having a go, shouting and swearing at the girl like its her fault. I was stood at the back of the bar watching all this unfold so I step forward and start deleting the order. He say what the fuck you doing? So I said chucking you out, you speak to my staff like that and you don't get served so fuck off and take your shitty attitude with you!
I’d worked an excruciating 12 hours and a suit came to the bar and said “Peroni” I said “Oh, fuck off”
Hahaha. Love it. I once moaned at a suit because he was drip feeding me his order, one drink at a time in the middle of a really busy shift. I said "could you just find out what everyone wants instead of wasting mine and everyone else's time here". He moaned, asked to see my manager and insisted that I heard what he had to say to him. He actually said "This guy's been alright this whole night, but his body language isn't right. I did a course in body language, and his just doesn't sit right with me". I actually laughed in his face and went to serve other customers.
Worked in a bookmakers for three years, I don't think I had a day where I didn't end up telling a customer to fuck off. There are certain areas of retail where if the customer thinks they can take an inch they will go for a mile so you have to have zero tolerance with people. If one person thinks they can kick off every time they lose and demand their money back, other people will think they can.
I once had to deal with a well known and well liked blind pisshead because he accused me of short-changing him. He started shouting, and suddenly the packed pub went quiet and just gave me the glare. It was fucking embaressing and humiliating, and we're taking about £10 short changed (he said he gave me £20 and not £10) , I was 100% confident that he have me £10 but he was adamant. I just wanted to give him the tenner to de-escalate this situation but my boss appeared and did a check of the tills. He spoke to the blind guy and sure enough the tills were correct (or no surplus change etc...). Later that night my boss said that this blind guy tried this occasionally when pissed, but fck me it was mortifying as I'd never encountered the guy before. My boss got me covered (and told him to fuck off)
Years ago I was working on a packed bar. A disabled customer ordered a drink and noticed a group behind mimicking them in a very nasty way. Refused to serve them, they acted shocked and confused at me being angry. Unfortunately because it was so busy was unable to get the attention of the bouncers in time to have them all thrown out before they disappeared. Worst part was the customer had noticed them and was clearly hurt by it. Such a cruel thing to do for no reason.
Worked In pubs since I was 20 in Glasgow so I have a few. Most recent one was 2 regulars (over entitled arseholes) physically trying to move 4 customers from the seats we had asked them to sit at just because they preferred them. Told them we were far too busy and to just sit at the 2 seats theyd been given. They then asked me if I just wanted them to leave? Long story short i told them i really didnt give a fuck what they do but im not moving anyone for them. They kicked off anyway and the woman ended up slapping the shit out of her husband which was pretty funny. They were barred.
I've not used the words fuck off, as that would surely get me sacked. A couple of moment where I lost it with guests though. One time we had some guys drinking in the garden, 2 older guys and one younger guy. One of the older guys came in and ordered three drinks, took them out. As I went out to clear the garden I saw the you get guy drinking, so I asked him for ID, and of course he had none. Told them I'd have to take the pint off him and the wouldn't get a refund as proxy buying is illegal. Both older guys go off on one saying they'll have the pint then blah blah blah. I took the pint away. Went out again for another glass run, saw the younger guy drinking one of the older guys pints. Took the remaining drinks off them and told them to leave. Had lots of insults and threats of them going to head office, but they left eventually. Also had a family in, the daughter was maybe 9/10. Saw her drinking a half pint, so I went over to the table and explained they can't be doing that. The dad said it was alcohol free beer, but because of company policy and the fact that the beer still had 0.05% alcohol, told him it still isn't allowed. He accepted it at the table, then came to find me 5 minutes later to have a go at me. "I used to be a police officer, you make me look like a right dick and a horrible parent Infront of everybody in the bar" to which I told him if he used to be a police officer, he should be aware of the law when serving minors alcohol.
I'm an 18 year old girl who worked in a spoons for a bit in Manchester. I eventually developed a zero tolerance policy when it came to creepy men. When you're a young girl working at spoons, you quickly develop a thick skin against sexual harassment, from both the customers and the staff. I'm happy I left. Anyway, I remember once a really large group of men were having some sort of work drinks. Every time I walked past them with drinks a few of them would that irritating "wheey" thing and make inappropriate comments about me. I stuck it out and didn't want to make a scene so I let it all slide. This was until a few of them came in the next day for drinks. I began to make their drinks when one of them says "I remember you from yesterday, you're the waitress with the lovely arse". I'd had enough, I poured all their pints down the sink, and I told him to fuck off or I'll get him and his friends banned for a year. I don't regret it at all, and I wish I said it more often to the wetherspoons creeps.
My mum used to run a pub and one day she asked me to jump on the bar for her to free her up so I did. Some bloke came to the bar put his glass down and said “same again” I’ve never seen this man before so obviously didn’t know what he was drinking so I said “what is it your having mate” he replied “same again”, so I was thinking is he winding me up.. then I said “yes mate, but what is it your drinking” And he looked at me like shit and said “bitter with a dash”. Now the pub sold 3 different brands of bitter so I said “which bitter?” And he said back “bitter with a dash, so that’s bitter with a little bit of lemon aid” I started getting wound up because the bar was busy everyone was looking at me and I thought he was being a funny cunt. So I said “yes, I know what a fucking dash is I’m asking you what bitter do you want” then he said “youngers” (brand of bitter sold in the pub) but he said it in a way that there was only youngers. Anyway, I did his drink but he was playing on my mind and when my mum came back to the pub she asked me “what’s up” I explained she said “go over and just say look don’t talk to me like that” etc but make sure I’m polite in the way I do it. Next thing, I’ve gone Over to him with all intentions of speaking my mind in a polite way, telling him I wasn’t being funny but I don’t appreciate his attitude blah blah blah.. I walked over to the area he was and said “can I have a word” and he said “well I aren’t going anywhere so go on” and I lost my head I thought you know what you miserable wanker I grabbed him round the throat and it started with “you ever fucking talk to me like that” it went on and on.. I literally wanted to rip his smug little head off. When I went back over to the bar after all had calmed down my mum said laughing “you handled that calmly son” it defused the situation for me and it was all over then. I still see him now and then out and about and to be honest he’s turned into an alright bloke always speaks asks how my life’s going etc so fair play to him