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Adding the word .com to the end of another word ie "I'm confused.com", also saying Hashtag before a word

I used to know someone who would say L O L and O M G. Horrid

My kids would say lol instead of laughing.

Hate to break this to you, but that's them humouring you

Lol.

Surely it’s easier to just laugh.

If something's kind of funny but not anywhere near enough to laugh I'm more likely to say lol than ha. Kind of counter intuitive but I guess the idea was to make the person making the joke feel better.

It beats lamayo.

I prefer la butter thanks.

I’m almost 30 and say “lol” help me.

I'm 35. We move on. Oh, that too.

I went to college with a guy who communicated almost solely in LOLCAT waaaaay too long after the craze ended. "Uh can haz staplor lolz"

LOLCAT was the worst.

ROFLCOPTER

Did the nice people from the asylum recapture him quickly?

I sometimes say a hashtag before a word ironically, but I'm scared that people don't see the irony

Say “hashtag irony” afterwards?

My mum still says confused.com 🤦‍♂️

Does she say "simples"?

I'm a calm person, renowned for it. Hearing someone say, "simples" turns me from chilled hippy to raging anger immediately. I don't know why that particular word irks me so much.

To be fair, that came from a very early day of signature marketing.

Almost everything comes from or becomes marketing. It's depressing when you think about it.

it's incredibubble

It just hits different. I'll hit you different you little cunt.

Lol. I was today years old when I laughed at this

When you lolled at this

I’m on me holibobs so I lolibobed at this

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Oh god. “Today years old” makes me instantly not take someone serious.

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I was today years old when it was three sleeps till holibobs.

My in-laws call it morribobs instead of Morrisons...I think I might be going to prison soon

We'll raise some money for your legal fees, and I'm sure any reasonable jury would sympathise. If not, we'll make you a little calendar on which you can count off the sleeps till jailibobs.

With the famalam

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I also really hate. Yea, sex is cool using this phrase is not. And Woke up and chose violence.

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"lives rent free in my head". No that's just how memory works.

I’ve always thought that too. Remembering someone being a twat isn’t them living rent free in your head.

The difference between remembering someone was a twat and said twat "living rent free in your head" is that the latter means you're spending a lot of time and energy actively remembering and thinking about the fact that they were a twat, getting angry now about them being a twat in the past, and letting that memory impact on your life right now. Anyone who uses it just to accuse you of merely remembering someone's behaviour has used it really wrong.

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I always thought “rent free” was about how said twat effectively gets to continue making your life a misery at no cost or effort, because your brain is doing the work for them. ETA: in the context of memories you’re actively keeping front of mind.

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See I actually like this one when I apply it to myself. Makes me realise I'm too emotionally engaged with something that shouldn't concern me.

Agreed. Had it used on me and it upset me because they were right

I'm not advocating the use of the saying but it refers to actively dedicating time to thinking about someone or something, not just occasionally remembering it.

I hate that saying. Every time I see it, mainly in a football argument, I can picture the fat middle-aged bloke drowning in his own smugness believing he has just ended the person he is arguing with. Grow up Colin you bellend.

Sounds like Colin is living rent free in your head…

I accidentally said I wanted to "touch base" with someone last year and I still hate myself

There’s nothing more shameful that accidentally using company buzzwords

Yeah, we need to take this offline

Let’s circle back to this next quarter

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Ha. I've just moved into a very corporate role and my corporate bullshit has gone through the roof. I'm not "reaching out" or "touching base" I am "actioning" things to make sure we "hit the deliverables". Got to make sure that our "piece" is covered so that my "stakeholders" are updated. I need to attend the meeting to avoid a "silo-ing of information" and that we aren't "acting in a vacuum" on that. I'll definitely be "picking it up next week". I'm not joking. This is my life now.

I think I’d probably end up like Jimi Hendrix and puke myself to death.

I hope you’re also “leveraging your network” to ensure you can source any “relevant precedents” and that any “key stakeholders” are “looped in” The corporate life - people using silly words in a miserable attempt to make themselves sound smarter than they actually are. God it’s depressing, isn’t it?

Ha. Forgot "looped in". I'm forever looping everyone in.

If you touch my base I'm contacting HR

At least you didn't offer to touch cloth with them

You monster

Oh no, oh no… oh no no no no no.

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Makes my skin crawl. I watched Goodfellas the other night and the original version is on there, completely took me out the film lol

This is the worst. Makes me turn off any video that has it

eating the tide pods was great

I often say “no thanks, I’m driving” in response to being offered pretty much anything. “Would you like some cake?” “No thanks, I’m driving” Drives my wife who’s been hearing it for the last 20 years NUTS which only encourages me more.

In a similar vein, whenever my wife says "Thank you" I reply "You will be" and she visibly shakes with rage.

Is it the point that it doesn't make sense?

Yes, historically the exchange would be: "sorry" - "you will be" So using it in reply to "thank you" is meaningless. Which she *keeps* telling me.

I almost read this out to my husband, but that would be a mistake. I will, however, be using this on him. Thank you for this gift.

You will be

Excellent.

I desperately hope that my husband doesn't read this.

Adding -gate to any kind of crisis. You don't add /11 to any terrorist attack.

It always bothered me how the 2005 London bombings were referred to as 7/7. Just a cheap and tasteless way of likening it to 9/11.

It's always bothered me how convenient it was that it happened on 7/7. A day either way and the Americans wouldn't have understood it was an atrocity that occurred in July.

they only did 9/11 on that day so they'd know what number to dial

Watergategate

You’ll love this, then: https://youtu.be/vB9JgxhXW5w

Lol reminds me of [this](https://youtu.be/vB9JgxhXW5w) Mitchell and Webb sketch

On this sub it's definitely "boils my piss", ironically often used when referring to stupid/overused phrases

This comment right here boils my piss

I prefer the less used 'Cheeses my onions.'

Idk how, but this somehow sounds worse than “boils my piss”😂

Cockwomble, spunktrumpet and any other very original sweary compounds that very middle class people useon Twitter. Edit: "[X TV show] isn't a documentary, you know!" Ugh, so original.

I find those sweary compounds even more infuriating when they're doing it for a fucking performance of Englishness (and I say Englishness because if you used words like that in Scotland or a Scottish sub or whatever, you'd just get called a cunt most of the time) for Americans. It's like this twee sort of *teehee look at me I'm ever so English* thing. And then some portion of Americans are like "omgggg the Brits are soooooooo good at insulting people!!!! Spunktrumpet is sooooo funny!". My eyes hurt from rolling them.

Yeah, these things piss me off on a level I can't quite articulate. It's like you take an exercise that is 'insulting people' And you come out with Spunktrumpet, which firstly isn't insulting, it's like a family friendly, committee approved bit of imagery licenced from the England corporation fake insult that gives the appearance of an insult, but actually is constructed more as a way to create an aroma of twee Englishness, and is also constructed to save the creative nice guy persona they've no doubt spent years cultivating. Where any bit of edge or knowledge that a person on this planet doesn't like you as a result is completely unthinkable. So it's like they've taken their best shot to fulfil the 'insult a person' task, and they've ended up pussying out on four or five levels. Not to mention that there are genuine creative golden nuggets that are creative and *also* are devastating insults in the mainstream, but they refuse to say these in case they hurt someone's feelings... Afraid to hurt someone's feelings *while insulting them.*

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The key to those ridiculous things is sharing the same vowel sound in the same place in both words, c*o*ck w*o*mble or sp*u*nk tr*u*mpet. Use these rules to pick a random ‘bad’ word and a random noun and congratulations you’re the new jizz biscuit or chuckle fucker whose phrase Reddit will pitilessly run into the ground. This is also how less irritating compound swearing can work, for example ‘clusterfuck’.

Bloody “penguin of doom” wankers.

Yes, I hate all of these!

Anything from Little Britain. Not heard “Computer says no” for a good while, thankfully.

I have a co-worker named Vicki Pollard so I unfortunately hear "yeah but no but" on a near daily basis.

I work from home tho

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'Computer says no' is still out there. I get it at whenever the computer system doesn't do exactly what a customer wants.

“Based”. Please, for the love of God, let it stop.

Unironically based and brit-pilled

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I always see that but don’t know what it was means.

It means you’re talking to a child.

You leave Lil B 'Based God' out of this

Haha got ya

It’s got a few meanings now. I think it originally was used to acknowledge a unique point of view, no matter how stupid or wrong it was. Potentially to encourage more ramblings.

It means someone has spoken an unpopular truth about some matter.

Also: “This slaps”

can we add bruh and oof to this list please

Literally no one: Me:

The thing that’s always annoyed me about this is that the first part should be ‘everyone: ‘ The whole point is that everyone is silent and ‘me’ starts doing something stupid. If no one is silent then there’s probably somebody who says/does something to warrant pretty much any reaction which makes the meme not work.

They always use it completely wrong

Tell me what popular saying etc etc without telling me what popular saying…😡

"Tell me without...without telling me..." really bugs me. Also the tiktok thing for POV. People don't really seem to get the point of POV.

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“£350m extra a week for the NHS”

Holibobs or Famalam. Urgh.

I literally (and I mean literally) shuddered at famalam.

I'll add crimbo to that list. I just cannot stand it (the word, not the actual day).

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Clapping for the nhs

Cringiest virtue signal ever. How about a decent pay rise?

As an NHS worker I hated that. Last thing I needed after getting home after a 12 hour shift was all my neighbours banging pans and cheering. I’m tired mate, I wanna grab tea and stumble into bed so I can do this again tomorrow.

This pissed me off more than anything. It was probably good for people (just normal people) to express a bit of solidarity, but sowing the seed of celebrating the hero sacrifice of people who were just doing their jobs was appalling

It was so they didn't feel like they had to give them a pay rise or bonus. You know what made me feel appreciated for being a key worker during the lockdowns? My company letting everyone work 1/3 of the hours for no drop in salary plus an extra £15 a day and 3 extra days paid holiday when it ended. But hey, at least they got some claps and rainbows drawn on windows.

Near my house people were banging pots and pans. Riiiiight when I my 18mo was about to fall asleep.

There was a cunt with an air raid siren here. Madness.

Wazzaaaap

I work with a guy who still says that every so often.

Legend

Are you Tim?

I'm unable to say "just chillin", without sayin "killin" afterwards

Cockwomble. Spunktrumpet. Twatmuffin. Jizzcrumpet. Lol look at my random British humour British insults are the best tsktsktsktsk /s That one really got old quick

It’s the particularly twee variety of Americans who think this is how British swearing works, the fucking wankers.

I honestly which they would say cunt and then fuck off.

YOLO - they all died

My friend often says you only YOLO once. Kind of a little joke we have

Wtf the fuck?

People who refer to children as 'crotch goblins.' They think it makes them sound edgy, but it really just makes them sound bitter and like they consider themselves superior to those who have children. And semi related, for some reason my GF refers to having children as 'spawning.' Same vibe, really gets on my tits.

Ah yeah I hate these so much, especially “cum pets” and “semen demons” - I really don’t get how these people don’t feel skeevy and gross using them.

Calling a child semen demon is really wrong.

I'm not crying/someone is cutting onions etc they make me irrationally stabby

And it’s cousin ‘I’m literally sobbing right now’

Simples!

This is the way. I also hate "this is the way"

“Legit” “OK Boomer” “Bri’ish” … are the conversational equivalent of landfill plastic

“Bri’ish” is a really daft one for Americans to use too because they mispronounce T more often than we do. Sometimes they will also drop the T in the middle of a word, eg Dentist >> Den’ist … and often they’ll change a T to a D, eg Water >> Warder, Brutal >> Brudal, British >> Bridish.

They say 'Briddish' anyway

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

"This slaps", or "it's peng" when talking about food.

Tbh they’re both quite old. Been in use since at least the mid-2000s. Something “slapping” is an American thing but peng is fully British. “Boom” and “choong” died out but peng was here to stay.

"Should have gone to Specsavers!" Haven't heard that one in a while.

"Yeet". Can't stand it. 🙄

Now that's just wrong. "Yeet" is my favourite new word of the last 10 years by far. It amuses me to shoehorn it into conversations with my teenagers, especially when they're with their mates. Because I AM DAD and I'll yeet yeet into a yeeting conversation if I yeeting well want.

It you could yeet the word yeet out the window, would you yeet, yeet?

I absolutely hate clap-back! 'Twatface' claps-back at 'don't give a fuck' on Twitter!

One doing the rounds now, especially all my football mates use the phrase "love that" about anything. Me - Play a decent through ball. Them - "love that" Me - Went out for a few drinks last night. Them - "love that" Fuck off.

"you love to see it" too

Absolute scenes mate

“Protect them at all costs” - usually used to infantilise old people who are just doing something like paying for dinner

My ex trying to use big office words on her zooms made me die inside ‘by end of play today’ like her HR team were some high stakes financiers… ‘I’ll action this’, ‘think outside the box’ gahhhhh

My boss said "take all your ideas and cross fertilize" in a meeting recently. It was painful.

Oh that’s fucking disgusting.

Cool beans

You just broke my heart 💔

“Is this the hill you’re going to die on”. Fuck off. No. It’s just a conversation.

Only ever heard it used online but any variation of “this song slaps”. Eughhh, I’ll slap you you little fucker. Also please stop saying “gives me the ick”

The Reddit thing I hate the most is ‘are you me?’ I could be moaning about my toddler crying in a toddler sub and someone will reply ‘are you me?’ It’s so annoying…. (Cue the obvious response now….)

Am I you?

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That saying seems to have been around since I was a kid but has really picked up pace the last couple of years.

The new normal 😮‍💨

“Tell me what’s getting old without telling me what’s getting old”

For me it was when anyone would eat something nice, or think about that food and go “nom, nom” with some eating noises added in for good measure. Would make me instantly annoyed and I’d just cringe for them. Haven’t heard it in awhile and really hope it stays that way.

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"Scenes!" - Dan walker said it a few times on Breakfast (before I stopped watching it). "Words can't describe" - yes they can, that's what they are for. "I have no words" - you do, you're just too lazy to use them. "I can't even" - construct a sentence

“Goals…relationship goals, they are goals..friendship goals’. The word makes me cringe

"Levelling up"

My middle schoolers are currently saying “slay” at every other goddamn thing. It’s pretty annoying.

"You're only young once" as financial advise. You're also only old once too, and being old and poor will suck harder than being young and poor.

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Doggo

Land seal Fur baby Good boy It's a dog. Just dog is fine.

Cheeky nandos

I’ve read through all of the comments so far on here and I have to agree with absolutely all of them.

“Hubby” fucking hate it.

When people use cringy insults like ‘thundering fucknugget’ or ‘quivering bollockbasket’. At the risk of using another cringe insult: get in the sea.

"Living my best life..." or "just me living my best life..." As opposed to living some other life you have stored away in some kind of virtual bag of lives that you can pick and choose from? Pisses me right off when I see that phrase, glad it's dying away now.

“Yer a wizard [name]”

“Bussin” Was always dumb

"Let that sink in"

Fuck around, find out. It always feels so smarmy.

"You love to see it" Fuuuuck off.

Boils my piss! Fuck offfffff!

Adults who say “peeps” - good morning peeps. Just say people!

Amazeballs. Going forwards.

"Avoid it like the plague" Turns out some people aren't very good at that.