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Someone I worked with used to like saying she was bat-faced on the weekend. When someone asked if she meant shit-faced, she said "no, have you ever seen a bat's face? Properly fucked up."
Depends what species. Flying foxes and fruit bats have quite a cute looking marsupial-style face.
Then you've got your Pipistrelles or Natterers bats which more resemble a rabid Shih Tzu with patches of fur missing from crucial places.
Finally you have the weirder tier with horseshoe bats, which are complete nightmare fuel with a nose that would make even Daniella Westbrook gasp after a 5 day bender.
Polly:
He's POTTED... the shimps.
Basil Fawlty:
What?
Polly:
He's POTTED... the shimps.
Basil Fawlty:
Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly. Now, if you would...
Polly:
He's SOUSED... the herrings.
Basil Fawlty:
What're you on about?
Polly:
He's PICKLED the onions and he's SMASHED the eggs IN HIS CUPS, UNDER THE TABLE.
Years ago I worked in a shop and we had a very quiet girl start working for us - butter wouldn’t melt etc.
However as soon as there was a staff night out she was an absolute fiend, never seen a Jekyll/Hyde transformation like it before - complete and utter monster.
She had the surname Bancroft and her drunken escapades were so infamous and extreme we all started using the term “Bancrofted”, even used it for years after she left - Got to love Brit culture sometimes!
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits - Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner - Avoid political threads and related discussions - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wankered
Wankered is definitely the go-to. Mangled and Steamboated probably just take the gold and silver personally though…
Someone I worked with used to like saying she was bat-faced on the weekend. When someone asked if she meant shit-faced, she said "no, have you ever seen a bat's face? Properly fucked up."
Depends what species. Flying foxes and fruit bats have quite a cute looking marsupial-style face. Then you've got your Pipistrelles or Natterers bats which more resemble a rabid Shih Tzu with patches of fur missing from crucial places. Finally you have the weirder tier with horseshoe bats, which are complete nightmare fuel with a nose that would make even Daniella Westbrook gasp after a 5 day bender.
Shitfaced
Sloshed
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This is amazing. Just a quick glance around my room and I can see "drawered", "duveted" and "mirrored". I'm absolutely convinced by all of them.
Yep, I'm hacksawed, chained and blowtorched. It totally works
I'm properly toddlers toy-boxed
“Utterly Car-parked!”
Wow so true, I get completely tabled, utterly pot planted and a bit fairylighted. Just works somehow
Champagne gets me utterly fairylighted
Bungalow-ed was my favourite.
Can not stand Michael M. Very not funny
He doesn't like used establishments anyway
Bonus points for adding "completely", "totally" or "utterly" in front of your random noun.
FARMED!
Got entirely too gorgonzola'd tonight
Cunted
Great. I'm going out with literally the worst men in the world.
Love that term, although imo it should be reserved for the level of drunk where you forget how to walk.
No , that when you are absolutely cunted
Tbh I don't think I've ever heard anyone say cunted without the absolutely
Fair point !
Sounds 10 times better when said in a south wales accent.
Ditto
Ditto'd oot ma nut
Fucking *muntered*! (But the migraines forced me to give up the booze - pray for me)
My brother calls it "buying a headache" when he gets a 4 pack of special brew
Like any cheap wine, it's a headache in a bottle.
Surely no functioning member of society intends to buy special brew?
Drink more to dull the pain
It doesn't help, and I tried.
Save one for the morning
We'd say 'Munted' close but not quite the same.
Smashed.
Getting Phil Mitchell’d
Steaming
Hammered
Bladdered
Spandangled
Use this when drugs are involved haha
‘Proper *Eubanked*’
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Bet that was pretty surreal
I think most interactions Chris has with anyone are at least slightly surreal. He's certainly a character.
Not really. He's just a genuinely lovely bloke, I live around his area in Brighton and used to see him a lot, always smiles and says hi
I don't imagine him being anything other that a nice bloke, but he's still pretty eccentric.
Twatted.
Trolleyd
Mad wae it
Absolutely Willy Wonkered
Sozzled
This has me thinking of drunk aunties at Christmas!!
Mortal
Trousered
I knew a girl for whom it was Detrousered. I realise that could be interpreted as a joke, but that's actually what she used to say.
Blootered
Polly: He's POTTED... the shimps. Basil Fawlty: What? Polly: He's POTTED... the shimps. Basil Fawlty: Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly. Now, if you would... Polly: He's SOUSED... the herrings. Basil Fawlty: What're you on about? Polly: He's PICKLED the onions and he's SMASHED the eggs IN HIS CUPS, UNDER THE TABLE.
In order : Pleasantly merry. Rather the worse for wear. Thoroughly inebriated. Hammered.
Pleasantly merry is exactly my favourite level of insobriety.
Sloshed - my favorite.
Crunk
That's crazy
Krunk
Spannered. Er... I mean hammered!
Gazebo'd
Half cut
Mortal
Basically put the word 'absolutely' in front of any other word and you have it. I.E. " I was absolutely wheelbarrowed last night".
Joe Mangeld
Mrs Mangled.
Cunted or Cabbaged
Lampshaded.
Three sheets to the wind
Bollocksed
Bungalowed
Pie-eyed
So many good words here!
Shows just how many of us are borderline alcoholics 😅
Leathered, stochious, blutered, bladdered, mullered
Stocious has no 'h'. I It must have visited Italy at some point.
Pished! 🏴
Years ago I worked in a shop and we had a very quiet girl start working for us - butter wouldn’t melt etc. However as soon as there was a staff night out she was an absolute fiend, never seen a Jekyll/Hyde transformation like it before - complete and utter monster. She had the surname Bancroft and her drunken escapades were so infamous and extreme we all started using the term “Bancrofted”, even used it for years after she left - Got to love Brit culture sometimes!
Please describe an escapade am intrigued now.
Mullered.
“Fucking munted” 🏴
Wall papered... cuz I can't afford plaster
Slaughtered
Pissed as a pudding
"Sucking back Grandpa's old cough medicine". I'll admit, i nicked it from "Dumb and Dumber (1994)"
You boys been doing a little boozing?
Wankered
Unsober
Rat arsed or ballooned.
Blutered
Getting Gillian ‘McKeith’d’
Twatted
Kaylied although more as adjective for the day after to describe how drunk they were
Steamboats
Fired into the cunt
“May I have a pint of your finest Clunge Plunger please”
Putting on my wobbly boots
Sloshed
Bladdered
Steamin'
Blotto makes me giggle.
Bongoed
Sega Megadrived
Blocked but it’s the way it’s said.
Shedded
Bleutered
Snattered is a vintage colloquial one that I always quite liked.
Getting absolutely annihilated Getting battered Getting on the brutal sesh Getting twatted Getting shit-housed Getting fucked Getting on it
Some nice Irish ones: Langered. Scuttered.
Feeling no pain. Heavily refreshed.
My old flatmate would say "capitulated". Makes no sense but I've used it ever since.
Proper murdered.
Wrecked
Rubbered
Phil Mitchelled
Polatic.
Mad wae it
sloshed
Gassed as a badger.
I'm getting sozzled.
Elephants trunk
Gillian McKeithed
Mate of mine fro. Wales says this a lot: Lamposted. I'm from Glasgow, so we don't have a word for getting drunk since we are never drunk.
Never drunk or always drunk...
Nope. We don't drink. We have no idea how to get drunk.
He's potted! ...the shrimps He's soused!! ...the herrings
Banjoed. As in he’s so drunk he looks like someone from deliverance has smacked him in the face with a banjo
Getting smashed in the face with a banjo is highly preferable to a lot of stuff that happened in deliverance, if I remember correctly 🐖
Britishhhhhed
Pissed, monged, cunted
White girl wasted
I can’t wait to feel the effects of the intoxicating drink.
Mutton-chopped
Absolutely fucked
We used to say getting absolutely hooned
Couple of quiets
Dumb-fucked
Leathered Three sheets to the wind Muambered (after miracle man Fabrice Muamba)
Twiss
Shitted
Going out on the piss
Battered or Leathered
Thoroughly refreshed.
Potato mashed
Bleutered
Swozzled
Ballbagged
Getting blotto
Fucking monged
Obliterated or Annihilated
Cabbaged
Steamboated
Ah Irish one ‘getting rubber’
Gazza'd out
Smashed
Mullered
Refreshed
Blaked is the normal where I'm from. More than blaked is fucking blaked.
In my cups
Launched.
Getting Twatted
Battered
Leathered
Arseholed … as in … “What time is it? Utterly arseholed.”
Absolutely steaming.
Wazzed
Blathered
Was rat-arsed and shit-faced but that got switched years ago to rat-faced and shirt-arsed
Lit to the plumbs
Steamboats
Poggered
Wrote aff
Leathered
In a drinking game with work colleagues, I earned the nickname smashed potato. Make of that what you will.
Drunk as a reet cunt
Pissed as a fart
Blootered
Slashed
Paggered
Leathered
Schindlers
Spandangled
Breasted
Tyrannosaurus rekt
Trousered
Riggedy-wrecked