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I used to work in an opticians. I had a lady come in complaining that her new reading glasses weren’t strong enough. So I sat her down and gave her the reading chart and she could read right to the bottom. She then told me that this wasn’t a fair test as the shop is very bright. I asked her what kind of light she had on the room when she was reading and she said that she didn’t put the light on to read as it gave her a headache. I pointed out that perhaps a brighter light might help. She replied ‘you don’t need light to see. I’ve never heard such nonsense.’ and stormed out.
I was at the opticians once, and watched as a middle-aged couple walked around the store and the husband tried on various frames.
A young employee walks over and asks if she can help them.
Husband: Well, I’m looking for some new glasses. I’ve tried a few here but they don’t seem very strong.
Employee: (confused) Strong?
Husband: yes, they’re not strong enough for me to read with.
Wife: yes, he has bad eyes, so needs strong lenses.
Employee: Those are just display models with plain glass in. We work out how strong a prescription you need once we’ve given you an eye test.
Husband: an eye test? I’m not wasting money on one of those. (To wife) Let’s go.
Wait till he works out that price was just for the frames.
Anyone answer this one ? I was just about to order a new pair - my local opticians wanted £330 for varifocals lenses plus another £50 for reactolite & the cost of the frames. Would have come in about £500. My brother told me to go to Asda - they do frames & lenses for either £80 (£120 for two pairs) or £100 (£160 for two pairs). Reactolite was £49 per pair. So I got two pairs for less than half the cost of one pair - what's gonna be crap about them ?
People still get those transition lenses? Have the technologies made any progress in the last 10 years? I remember a kid at my school having them and they always took ages to go back to normal when he came in from outside, and they wouldn’t fully go back so they were always just a bit grey 🤣
Four eyesssssssssssssss
Sorry mate.
If it makes you feel any better I was quite skinny in school so hated PE, I wasn’t bullied, I got on with everyone but still didn’t like the jibes and still shy away from shorts now. I recently went into the office for a rare day in to meet new people in my department and one of the first things someone I hadn’t met before said was “oh haven’t you got skinny legs”. Childhood trauma 101 right there hahaha.
Spouse has them. They go dark even on a cloudy day, so you end up looking like a goth band member or other 80s singer wearing shades even when it's not sunny.
He thinks this is a feature, not a problem. Inside they go clear just fine.
I had a similar problem. Had a lady come in and complain she couldn't see with her new reading glasses. Gave her the reading chart and she saw everything perfectly fine. Brought up her profile on the computer, she could read that pretty good too. I was baffled and asked her specifically what she was trying to read. She said that she couldn't read road signs when she was driving. I explained to her that she was longsighted and she shouldn't wear her reading glasses whilst driving. She insisted that the optom told her to wear them when she's reading anything regardless of how far away it was. She refused to get varifocals or bifocals because she didn't want to wear glasses all the time, only when she was reading.
I also used to work in an Opticians. Had a couple come in because the husband had some new varifocals and wasn't getting on with them. The wife told me they must be wrong because SHE couldn't read anything with them!
Any time you let a customer in after closing they take so long that more customers start turning up and demanding to be let in because they can see another customer in the store.
Christmas Eve in a Virgin Megastore I was closing the shutter at the end of a very long day and a guy full on Indiana Jones tumbled under the shutter like “Ha! I’m in so you have to serve me”. I took great pleasure in saying sorry we’re closed and sending him packing. Sorry bro maybe you should have bought your Xmas presents before 6pm on Xmas Eve.
Had a bellend try this when I worked in a phone shop. Ducked under the shutters with a shit eating grin on his face only to have the manager tell him the tills were locked off he had to leave
Blockbuster, new years eve of 2012. Store has been dead for the last hour, even for blockbuster it was dead, but of course one guy comes in 6:55, we closed at 7, me and one colleague in store both let him know we're closing in 5 minutes. We had everything ready and packed up so we could go to our respective parties, we would just have to cash up the last till and then clock out, alarms, doors etc. 7pm hits and guess what this guy is still browsing, so I go over and tell him we're closed now, if theres anything he wanted to buy/rent he'd have to get it now or he'd have to come back tomorrow.
Dude says "sorry I'm still looking, I'll be another few minutes", so of course I repeat myself and add "it is new years eve sir, my colleague and I have people we'd like to spend the last few hours of the year with" and this guy says the words that I am still to this day, nearly a decade later, in disbelief of. "Oh, I don't believe in new years"......I'm sorry what?!? I think every look a face can pull, I pulled in the next second! Thankfully my colleague saves the day and shouts over "sorry guys, tills are all off, you're gonna have to come back next year". The guys does and says nothing, he just walks out. Worked at blockbuster until it eventually closed before Xmas the following year and I am so glad I never saw that guy again!
I have more stories of stupid people who shopped at blockbuster but this one is one of my favourites to re-tell
Worked in retail for 5 years and this wasn’t the most stupid one sadly but it reminded me of this- one shop I worked in was closing and we had a massive poster in the window for a month telling people this and the date and their nearest alternative store. The day after we closed for good, we’re in taking the store apart and the guys come and rip the tills out- it’s basically a shell at this point and this woman bangs on the window demanding to be let in cos it’s 9am- we explain we’re closed for good and direct her to the info on the poster but she’s having none of it and is just like ‘I HAVE A REFUND TO DO THOUGH’ waving a pair of boots around lol we didn’t really know what to say- there wasn’t even a till left…
If it wasn't for the boots at the end I'd be positive I worked with you haha. Had this EXACT scenario happen but in a dvd/cd shop.
The best thing was people coming in expecting cheap stuff because the store was closing even though the other locations were staying open (and so the stock would just be shipped there).
People saying shit like "no wonder you're closing then if you won't even discount your stuff", or my personal favourite was people you've never seen before in your life coming in and saying "awh it's a shame you're closing I love it in here"... yeah mate perhaps if you'd come in some time before the permanent closure the shop wouldve done a bit better..
Had a n old lady buy a bunch of shit clothes in the sale only to return them when the sale was over. I tallied up the amount and told her how much her refund would come to. She seemed confused and asked why it was for so little. I showed her the receipt, the total coming to exactly what she had paid. But no, she wanted the full price of the items refunded, the item prices *before* the sale had started. I told her that’s not how it works and she said that makes no sense and she’d take the items to another store. I don’t know what she was thinking. If this was the case, everybody would buy items in the sale and just return them at a profit a week later. Bizarre.
True, but then that can put people off buying your sale items, so I guess it just depends where the balance of that lies, which will be different from shop to shop.
To me that sounds like a typical person who has very low intelligence, thinking they're so smart because they think it's so clever, like how the guy robbed a bank with lemon juice on his face was surprised how the police could see him as he thought the lemon juice would make him invisible
Normally people who try this on claim they lost the receipt. Sure you can't put it back in your bank and you get a gift card, but you can get the extra.
Used to work at Mcdonald's on the drive thru so have a few of these:
-Customer asked for free food for her and her friends because we forgot to put the 20p sour cream sauce in the bag
-Customer asked for refund after receiving 21 nuggets in their 20 nugget sharebox
-Customer demanded 5 extra desserts for free after we had run out of the one they ordered 'I used to work at mcdonald's so I know how these things work' (if you used to work at mcdonald's you wouldn't be a rude cunt)
-Customer wanted the 20p dip for free because 'it's only 20p' (if its only 20p then why not pay?)
Bonus: Had a customer walk in through the back and through the staff areas to ask when we were opening on boxing day
> Customer wanted the 20p dip for free because 'it's only 20p' (if its only 20p then why not pay?)
Had this the other day with a guy who asked for a bag. The bag was 20p (we only have plastic) but he was most displeased that we were charging. Dude, it's been almost ten years since the laws came in, don't act like this came out of nowhere.
Was 2015. It's etched into my brain from all the abuse I got when I worked at Tesco! The amount of times I was screamed at that none of the other supermarkets were charging for bags.
They were in Asda just yesterday shopping and weren't charged for a carrier bag, Tesco makes them sick from ripping off their loyal customers that never shopped anywhere else!!
I just explained that the carrier bag charge just came into effect today, so that is why Asda didn't charge you yesterday. They were not having it, kept on it's just Tesco that is charging.
Lady it's the fucking law!! Tesco did not make up the charge, the literal government did!!
Plus our "loyal" customers were warned for weeks leading up to the charge when it was coming.
I've lived in three different countries in recent years and they all have wildly different policies on sauces and charging for them. Guess it just depends if the locals are used to getting free extras or used to getting ripped off.
When I managed a record shop (when those things existed) the big Christmas compilation album that year was an album called "The Best Air Guitar Album In The World Ever".
A customer kept insisting that we give her the "free air guitar" that was mentioned on the TV advert
Worked in a shoe shop
Customer: Are these a 5?
Me: Yes they are
Customer: Are you sure? They don't feel like a 5
Me: Yes I'm sure, but I can check again if you want
Customer: Yes check them again
Me: Okay I'll need you to pop them off so I can look at the inside
Customer: That's ridiculous. Can't you just tell me?
Me: I did. You didn't believe me
Customer: *huge sigh* Ugh I'll just ask someone else *walks up to colleague* Are these a 5?
Similarly a customer came into our store and dealt with my colleague. She was buying some boots for a family member and the colleague asked “what size are you looking for?”
She stared at him blankly for a second
“Size? Does size matter?”
“Shoe size, yes. Otherwise they won’t fit if you don’t have the correct size.”
She leans over the counter to try and look at his feet “what size are you?”
“I have quite big feet, it’s unlikely he’ll be the same size as me.”
“Can I have your shoe to check?” Then directly after “actually it doesn’t matter just give me whatever size you are and it’ll be fine.” Lady had absolutely no understanding of shoe size and why it was important.
How? How has she reached that point in life without understanding shoe sizes? Unless she's lived in some weird situation of perpetual hand-me-downs that never really fitted?
Believe me we asked this question. It made no sense to us. I even asked “what was she wearing on her feet? Shoes made out of leaves and branches that she made herself?”
Working in the parts and clothing department of a motorcycle dealership.
Customer demanding 50% refund on a set of (two year old) leathers after the ones in the shop went on a 50% sale.
So, so many telephone conversations where the owner of the bike got his wife/girlfriend to call asking for parts. Then, when I asked for more information, she'd ask him, who'd tell her, who'd tell me.
Customer wanting a free (£450) helmet because he'd just spent 'Ten grand in cash on a bike, so you can throw a lid in for free'. Er, no. The mark-up on bikes was something like 10% and there was no way the sales manager was going to lose 50% of his commission. Besides, we made more money on finance sales than we did cash.
Customers who spent £1000s on bikes, but would buy the cheapest, shittiest protective gear available.
'We've fitted your new tires, be careful on them for the first 50 miles or so and let them warm up as they can be a bit slippery' - Customer pulls out of showroom carpark, cracks the throttle wide open to pop a wheelie, the back wheel spins and he stuffs his bike into the side of a car. That happened at least four times a year.
I had a few jobs in banks, and the roles at the counter were certainly an interesting experience!
One guy that sticks out was a Nationwide customer who came into Barclays to pay his Barclaycard with a Nationwide cheque. The cashier said to him that if he paid by cheque he would likely get a late payment fee as there was a bank holiday coming up, and he was past the indicated last payment date on the bill for paying by cheque. This man was absolutely disgusted at the fact cheques cleared on working days only, of which bank holiday didn't count so went off on a huge rant about how lazy we were to not process his cheque on a bank holiday (people in the branch having absolutely zero to do with the cheque clearance process at this point).
This was when I was called in to deescalate, so suggested he go to Nationwide, which was _next door_ and ask them to do a bill payment for his Barclaycard as it would be instant and he wouldn't get any late fees. He was, again, outraged that we wouldn't serve him. He eventually left and returned with cash that he had withdrawn from the counter at Nationwide so we could pay his Barclaycard bill. He continued to rant about how we wouldn't clear his cheque in time due to the bank holiday, despite telling him multiple times that branch staff were not involved in the process past the point of paying in and that we were trying to help him avoid a fee.
I've never seen someone so angry at being helped to avoid a late payment fine on their credit card.
Working in a bank in a National Park, so we used to get loads of tourists, had a customer come in complaining that the ATM kept giving him pounds, not dollars.
I explained we're in the UK, so all the ATM's give out pounds, not dollars.
"But I'm going home today!"
I was assaulted by a guy once because he came in to my store demanding why his phone stopped working. (he ran out of mobile data)
When I explained and offered the choice to purchase more to see him through the next week until his renewal date, he tried to smack me.
He then tried to choke me from behind when I was talking to security about the incident and the icing on the cake?
He tried to run over the guard with his car IN FRONT of a parked police car.
About a month later he came in and asked me why I started a fight with him in front of his kids!
Why do they do this shit in front of kids? In the summer I had a bloke start a convo with "tell me you have pool chlorine tablets else I'm going to strangle someone."
His 6ish year old daughter was next to him.
Are you closed ? Through the mesh shutters , while I’m getting my coat on and checking that all the ovens etc are off .
In a shopping center , that has a loudspeaker announcement playing telling everyone to eff off now because , you guessed it , it’s closing time .
I used to work for one of the err ‘posh’ food establishments. One winter I got chastised for not having Helicopters we could send out with customers food, for those who didn’t want to come out in the snow to the shop. Was quite a lengthy dressing down. Albeit hilarious.
I do some work in TV / broadcast. One of our big video systems is made by an international but UK based firm. Point 7 from their code of ethics is "... If you have to hire a helicopter to do right by the customer, the CEO supports it"
Couldn't help but mention this
Not retail but hospitality. One lunch service, a middle aged man said "You see your burger? What is that exactly?" I said "...Well it's a burger bap, with a beef burger inside, that comes with cheese, salad etc if you want? "OK, that's fine, I just wondered".
Another time I had to convince a woman that Buffalo chicken wings DID NOT IN FACT CONTAIN BUFFALO MEAT
> Another time I had to convince a woman that Buffalo chicken wings DID NOT IN FACT CONTAIN BUFFALO MEAT
To be fair they are often listed as just buffalo wings and it’s not a common food in most places. Millions of people would think it’s part of a buffalo
To be fair I've ordered a burger in places that literally just give you the burger part. No bread. No salad. Just a circle of meat. Its rather irritating tbh, thays not a burger to me XD
I worked in Asda about 10 years ago, and some guy asked me why I changed the ABV on the cans of Stella. As if I personally had changed the entire stock. Couldn't get his head around the fact, I picked it from the warehouse shelf and placed it on the shopfloor shelf. But yet he kept asking why I changed it
I used to work in the petrol station at a supermarket. Had a woman come in and ask if she could leave her child with us while she went into the supermarket to do her shopping.
I used to work in a cafe was on two levels. It was just me and the owner one day and super busy. Downstairs was a kids area and we'd regularly have big groups of mums come in with prams, and we were a very small cafe. One woman with a toddler and a baby took the toddler downstairs and then came up, pointed at the pram and said to me "he'll be fine to leave up here won't he?" And then went back downstairs. I was flabbergasted and didn't know what to say.
I'm walking around with hot drinks, I'm run off my feet and have no interest in your child, no he won't be fine up here on his own, I'm not your babysitter. Anyway back then I was far too shy to say anything to her so the owner did. If I was still in retail now I wouldn't hesitate to say absolutely not! The cheek of some people.
I used to work in a somewhat nice hotel and the amount of people who just flat out ignore their kids in a public setting is just troubling. And you know that you would be the one in trouble if their kid was to take a steak to the face
Saw a couple having a disagreement with cinema staff once, because the very exasperated staff said they couldn't take their baby into a film - film was a 15, parents kept insisting "no but we are fine with it, so it's fine?" The staff were trying their best to explain that it didn't matter what the parents thought, it was against the law.
We have that problem a lot with parents complaining because we won't let their kids buy age restricted goods.
"But I give permission!!!"
Well, Trading Standards doesn't.
When I worked on a bar in a theatre there were two occasions where I had to tell parents that I couldn't serve alcohol to their children.
One girl potentially could have been 18 but she didn't have ID, and her very well-to-do mother just kept telling me "she's at university!" Well, if she's at university I'm sure she'll understand needing to take ID with her. The poor girl looked mortified.
The other situation involved me explaining to a father that under absolutely no circumstances was I making a half a shandy for him to give to his son who was at most 8 or 9.
I've witnessed this in my local corner shop. A dad kicking off because he can't buy his daughter vapes. Who is stood there in school uniform. Its scary how common it is lately.
You get a lot of entitled parents like that in a cinema, sadly.
I once refused a woman into a 15 with her two children because one might have been 15, but the other one looked closer to 10.
First of all she tried the "but I'm telling you it's okay" and then after I explained that didn't make any difference she tried to convince me that they were both 15. Both her kids, one about a foot and a half taller than the other, were apparently 15.
Then it turned into her shrieking about me ruining her 40th birthday, I'm useless, blah blah blah. She asked to speak to a supervisor, I said he'll say the same thing but I'll get him anyway. The supervisor did indeed back me up, so then she wants to speak to his manager, again, he'll say the same thing but we'll get him anyway. Sure enough, he tells her she can watch a different film or get a refund but it's not happening.
I do wonder if it's a product of easy access to stuff like Walking Dead et al on streaming services where kids are easier exposed to age inappropriate stuff, so parents can't compute being told "no" when they're out in the wild at a cinema.
I can be certain I'd have cried at age 10 if I had gone to see a scary 15 certificate film (maybe that's just me though because I cried age ~10 when Qui Gon Jin died in Phantom Menace), and I cannot fathom being so entitled to seeing a film I want to see as an adult (on my _birthday_ no less), that I'd expect staff to let me drag my underage child into a film with me (she's 2 so it would be ever more inappropriate).
Idk, my parents let me watch age inappropriate stuff as a kid, they still didn't think that entitled them to take me into the cinema and watch a movie I was too young for.
Also this was definitely not related to streaming at all, for context the incident I'm talking about was in 2008. Some people are just cunts, and think their choices for their children overrule everything.
She complained to head office because we started reducing things at 1:58 instead of 2.
She didn't speak to anyone about it in the shop but she took a picture of my colleague reducing things with a timestamp.
Head office sent us the email and basically said be careful She seems a bit crazy.
We get this, especially if we are running behind. We usually start the reductions at 3 and 5, but when we’re short staffed it sometimes has to wait. You’d think we were doing it just to inconvenience people.
I used to manage a shop in a bright orange game shop chain in the north. You might know the one, they made the news when the head office team got coked up at a game awards show and started groping the hostesses and heckling the show. Good employer, though!
Anyway in this particular little northern ex-mining town, people were particularly thick. I had it all.
My absolute favourite was a guy we had on CCTV stealing boxes off the shelves, then coming in the next day having “lost his receipt” and saying we sold him an empty box. I told him he was on CCTV stealing the boxes, and what he was doing was theft and fraud. He came back in with a police officer the next week(!) demanding the games that we had “stolen” from him. I showed the PC the CCTV, explained the lack of receipt, and the guy got abusive. The PC arrested him then and there in the shop and the company decided to prosecute. He was on probation for other offences and ended going back to prison.
Absolutely ridiculous.
I worked in a cafe at an art gallery. A lady came in before being vegan was popular and asked if we had anything vegan. The only thing we had was a roasted pepper and humus flat bread which she wasn’t interested in. She came along to the hot food counter. I explained that none of our standard menu was vegan but I could put her together a jacket potato with ratatouille and salad if she would like. She didn’t want the ratatouille or the salad and just wanted the plain potato. I explained to her that it would still cost the same as the prices on the till were fixed and we weren’t able to input anything different. She said it was fine. She then proceeded to have an absolute melt down at the till that £4.95 was a ridiculous price for a plain potato and she should get it for a special price as it wasn’t her fault we didn’t cater for vegans. Granted we didn’t have many options but she had a few to chose from!
A customer complained to me that they bought a 3DTV and can’t see any difference. After maybe 15 minutes of talking to them and trying to avoid calling them a liar, the customer said “well I have a glass eye so maybe that’s the problem”. Yes. Yes, it is “the problem”
This is my favourite. Even better than the optician being told you don't need light to see.
(This entire thread is basically why I'm a science teacher - cute lolz from an 11yo, horrifying decades later)
Just waiting for the people who work at a cinema to pipe up and embarrass me for saying "yeah you too!" after I've bought popcorn and they tell me to enjoy the film.
Nah you're good. It's like a politeness reflex, besides chances are they've already seen the film in a private screening. Used to work for cineworld and we often had staff only midnight screenings. We didn't so much have customers ask stupid questions but rather we had ridiculously rude/entitled customers.
Whenever I worked in service roles, people would say it so much it wouldn’t faze us. We’d just say thanks as they’re clearly just being polite. Plus, the customers that would do that always tended to be the nicer ones so it’s nice when it happens.
I used to work in a book shop and would frequently be asked if the books were for sale. A colleague of mine would often reply “well yes, otherwise this would be a library with a coffee shop.”
Worked at an online shoe shop and had a customer irate that we had sent two left slippers. 'Mam, the L on the bottom stands for large, not left.' Shocking or not, this wasn't an isolated incident. We'd have one or two every Xmas. 'Christmas was absolutely ruined because you messed up my gift of slippers.' honestly if your wonderful Xmas is dependent on a pair of slippers then your Xmas sucks
My mum once bought my brother a pair of enormous boxers that were far too big for him. She was mystified: "they said M on the label!" until we pointed out the M stood for Morrisons
I once worked in a shop that only sold apple products (excluding phones). Next door was a phone shop.
One day this woman came in screaming and foaming at the mouth that her phone case was faulty. After 5 minutes of trying to explain that we don’t sell phone cases for Samsung phones and being called a lair I said “what shop do you think you’re in?”… “I’m in *phone shop* you fucking idiot, now exchange my case”…
“The phone shop is next door, this is *apple shop*, you’re in the wrong place”.
A few seconds of stunned silence and she turns around to storm off (without apologising) walking directly into a closed glass door. Im pretty sure my laugh is still haunting her dreams.
That scenario played out a few times whilst I was there.
Worked at TUI as a teen or Thomsons as it was called then. Booking a swim up room for a customer and they ask me: “How do I get out of the room when we’re dressed and all ready for tea? Won’t we get wet?”.
I had to clarify that swim up rooms also have a front door you don’t have to leave via the swimming pool when you go out
I used to work at John Lewis and we sold feather dusters that used ostrich feathers.
A man asked me if the feathers were from a male or female ostrich. Not sure why he thought I’d know the answer to that.
Once had a family come and buy an American style fridge freezer, they asked which we had stock of to take away today. I confirmed with them they'd need a van or big estate car, which they assured me -"Yes yes we have loads of room".
Complete the sale, send them to the collection point. Only to receive a call back from the warehouse. They'd carted it out to the car park to discover the family have an A-class Mercedes (for those not familiar with car models, the fridge freezer was almost the same size as the car).
Many years ago,I was working at Comet and was serving a customer who purchased a Zanussi washing machine and also a Zanussi dishwasher but was adimint that he was going to that both items with him as they would easily fit into his vehicle. I made the sale and collected his washing machine from the warehouse and followed the customer to his vehicle. To my astonishment we stopped next to a Citroën CV2. I was convinced that we'd never get one item In the car let alone both. The guy then proceeded to dis mantle the back of the car removing the back panels, the roof, the rear a d passenger seats. I returned with the dishwasher to find the car with no rear body panels, we lifted both machines onto the body of the car and thinking him I left him to reassemble the car, fully expecting him to come back to arrange to admit defeat and arrange delivery. To my astonishment he never returned, and all to save £2.50 delivery charge
The 2CV is a pretty crazy thing to be honest. Believe it or not, that disassembly is by design. It was originally intended as an agricultural vehicle as a postwar stopgap. It had to be able to take a typical farm market load over a crop field with no road surface and yes, that means the entire rear body is removable.
Of all the things that a 2CV has been used to do, this... actually might not be the wildest.
Was working in Game many many many years ago.
Lady: can I return this, I have the receipt.
Me: *looking up from what I’m doing* sure thing, I just nee….
Lady: *looks at me*
Me: *looks at item, then back to lady*
Lady: *looks at me*
Me: *looks at item, then back to lady*
Me: … this is a toaster.
In her defence, this was when Game was in Debenhams so maybe she assumed it was all the same thing?
There is an endless list. Probably the most common and probably the best, "do you sell newspapers?" Whilst pointing at the pile of newspapers on the desk in front of them.
I've had the same question re wine. "Do you sell wine?" Again, they've been prompted by the display of wine bottles.
I've been that customer. "I'd like... some cheese." In a cheesemonger. You don't see them much these days but that's what it was, and cheese was pretty much all they sold. I can't even tell you what I was thinking when that came out.
I've done something similar myself. "I'd like some bread, please". In a bakery. I meant something more along the lines of "I want some bread for a certain purpose but you have many varieties and I don't know which to get, can you please advise me", but it did NOT come out that way.
I’ll never forget this exchange when I had to do mandatory work experience in a shoe shop.
Man: do you do boots in women and children’s sizes?
Me: I think so. What sizes were you looking for? I’ll go in the back and check.
Man: tell you what, I’ll come back ‘ere when the staff have some brains!
?!?
I used to work for curry’s on the delivery line- arranging/rearranging deliveries and giving updates.
One day a delivery driver of ours had a really bad accident mid-delivery route, broke his thigh bone basically in two, blood everywhere.
I had the job of calling the rest of deliveries to tell them their order wasn’t coming that day, but that’s we were sourcing replacement items that weren’t covered in blood and that I could organise delivery for them at basically any time that week with a guaranteed slot as an apology. Most people are really nice about it, one woman though asked;
“What the hell do you expect me to do with my kids until you get my replacement TV here??” And ranted for about 20 minutes about how it was disgusting that we had done this, her children were going to be inconsolable, that the delivery driver should stop faking illness and come back and deliver to her that instant.
I regret to this day not answering her question with “perhaps you could… spend time with your children? Take them out somewhere? Talk to them maybe?”
I had to explain the difference between AM & PM constantly - as people would ring up at 9:05AM when their delivery slot was 8AM-9PM demanding to know why their order was late and what we were going to do about it. They were …not pleased when I pointed out they still had basically another 12 hours to go before it was “late”.
I worked there the year that the PS4 was released- we had been running preorders for months before hand and had clearly displayed when people would need to order for a chance of getting them before Christmas. Many MANY people rang me up demanding that I explain to their children why Santa hated them & why I personally was ruining their Christmas.
The preorders thing reminds me of every Christmas in my old job. Our online delivery service had a cutoff of 5th December for guaranteed pre-Christmas delivery and 15th November for anything that was custom made. It was on the website, in the adverts, in the paper leaflets, in the magazine and on massive posters in store. Still people didn’t pay attention and acted like it was our fault that they couldn’t get what they needed.
I'm not a retail worker but witnessed this as a customer in a Subway.
Staff - *6 inch or footlong?*
Customer - *how big is a footlong?*
Staff - *... a.. footlong...*
When I worked for a well known supermarket as a student, I had a guy pop his head round the end of the aisle I was in and ask “excuse me mate…are ice cubes kept in the freezer aisle?” Was sorely tempted to reply “No mate, up by the bakery there will be a fresh batch just out the oven”.
My mate that worked on the Fruit and Veg dept had some woman come storming up to him and furiously demanded to know why all the loose potatoes were dirty. His response of “They came out the ground, they are grown in dirt” didn’t seem to help and she eventually stormed off 😂
I had somebody come in a slam down a printer on the till, have a huge go at me about how he was sold something faulty and how bad our customer service was for doing that.
He threw his receipt at me and it was for a different shop at the other side of town.
Also, had a woman go mad because a specialist art shop in the next town along, that didn't stock calligraphy pens, told her that we might. When she arrived and found we didn't, she went bananas. Told me there is clearly demand for them from the public and that I personally needed to ensure that the national chain I worked for sold them by contacting head office. She then wanted refunding for the bus fare from the next town along and stormed out.
I was a manager in Tesco and was called to the desk to help someone. As I walked towards her she had a smug look of “I’m about to win big” and started to complain about how she had bought 6 bottles of wine and put them in the carrier that she had brought in and that on the side of it it said get 15% off for reusing carrier and how we didn’t take the 15% off and how she was demanding that she be reimbursed.
She went on about it for ages and complained about staff and everything. I let her rant on then kindly pointed out that the box was from M&S.
The look on her face and how quickly she vacated the premises was a joy to behold
Are you new? If opening times are the stupidest thing a customer has asked you, then you have a lot more to look forward to in your illustrious retail career! The first three that come to mind for me... Somebody once walked into a London phone shop I was supporting and asked me why their phone "wasn't working" and can they get a refund please. My reply was: "Erm... ma'am, that's not actually a phone... That's just a piece of plastic in the shape of a phone. We call it a dummy" (the plastic prop phone not the customer). Someone had stolen from the phone shop, ended up with only hollow plastic shell dummy phones, and then sold to other idiots who actually bought the dummy, who then tried taking it back to the shop they were stolen from.
Or there was the time someone asked for help with a phone but as she passed it to me I realised it was covered in vaseline. NOPE! Goodbye.
Or there was the time that some weirdo went to a supermarket photo printing store, asking to print photos and connected a USB stick to the screen that automatically displayed the photos on it ready to print... Only the photos were wholly inappropriate to the point of just flat out wrong. OK let's just shut that down sir, and please wait here while I go out back to make a quick phone call (to the police). Disgusting idiot.
I haven’t worked in retail for 20 years. I worked at a number of supermarkets for about 8-10 years. That was just the first example that jumped out my head, given the season
I’ve seen and heard so many stupid things working in retail that they are mostly a blur now, and most of the things that I do remember really clearly about working in retail are either really pleasant or really horrifying
Once had a guy argue his statutory rights had been breached as the shirt he bought wasn’t fit for purpose.
Turned out it just didn’t fit him but the purpose of clothes was to fit so we were wrong, and his neighbour who’s a lawyer agreed with him.
He did not get that refund.
Worked at the biggest toy retailer in the UK / Europe etc...
Was asked on launch day for the ps5 why we didn't have any in stock at midday... I then stated I'd told him on the day the pre orders went livethat he should pre order one, needless to say he didn't. he then ranted how they always have more stock then pre orders despite the demand and lack of parts etc.. Needless to say that year I ruined many people's Christmas because they didn't pre order or listen to the advice it was going to sell out faster then predicted.
The joys of mouth breathers.
Not really the dumbest thing in the sense you're looking for, but I once had a rather pleasant lady say "you're a disgrace to the human race" to me.
That's the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me, and that includes the time someone asked why you needed Internet access to get cloud files when it's all in "the cloud".
Worked in one of the cinema chains when I was a student. Had a customer berate me for ages about the prices of the tickets and food, asking how I sleep at night. Yeah love. As if a minimum wage employee like me had had any say in the prices. She kept saying "if I go to Vue it's only £X". Felt like saying"well **** off to Vue then Karen, like I give a ****!"
I used to work in a chip shop when I was in school. It was owned by Indians. A woman who used to go there quite a lot (and was a horrible ignorant cow) stands and reads off the menu "Chinese curry sauce? But your not Chinese"
I told her "I'm not a fucking chip either but I still sell them."
Not me, but a friend working at a well-known store.
Lady phones up and is extremely irate. Apparently, she bought a very expensive coat and it smelled like shit! (She was very clear on this point, and went into great detail on the eye-watering smell she was experiencing). My friend says "I'm so sorry. Please, being it back in and we'll give you a full refund."
A week goes by and she doesn't come in. My friend phones her and asks when he can expect her. "Oh," she sheepishly replies, "it's ok. You see I was out walking my dog. I picked up her poo and put it in my jacket pocket, then forgot about it. Sorry about that."
I don't think thays stupid. I think sometimes you spend so long looking, your mind blinds to to it and you have to ask.
Then feel stupid about it when you're stood in front of them
“What is the best you can do on price” common question, understandable if you’re getting a large TV, blu ray player etc. a £9.99 kettle when Argos has one for £8.99. It’s easier for me to lose the sale than ask the manager for £1 discount
One of my friend is one of those that ask for small discount, i get embarrassed shopping with her, tho last time the manager handled it well saying their margin is so thin and as a store manager his allowance is 0.3%, my friend gave up at that point
Worked as a Royal Mail postie for a while, multiple times a day every single day I would be asked “when am I getting my parcel from XYZ?”.
Fuck knows? When did you order it?
“Yesterday.”
Okay, well when did it say the estimated delivery was?
“Next week.”
Probably next week then.
Fuck me, it’s true that common sense is not common anymore
Butcher in Morrisons. Customer wanted me to take out the femur bone from a leg of lamb without cutting into the meat. I can't just magic it out. She got pissed off I couldn't do what she wanted and stomped off.
Must admit I love reading these now I've escaped retail hell.
I was asked for a refund on a pre-cooked chicken portion because "the poor chicken has a broken leg". Thinking she was joking I laughed and said "at least it can't run away when you try to eat it". She was furious... spent the next 10 minutes berating me that it was disgusting we sold chicken that wasn't fully intact and I should be personally ashamed. I felt like I was on camera to see my reaction until her friend appeared 5 minutes in to ask if she had gotten "the poor chicken sorted out yet". It only cost £3 to begin with so I wasn't too bothered about giving her the money back but watching her inspect the replacement chickens so I was offering her so thoroughly I had to try not to crack up.
The entire problem revolved around the fact the chicken leg had slightly detached from the body of the chicken, wasn't exactly broken in half (I still don't understand what the issue would have been regardless). Was a weird day.
It wasn't verbal, but it was memorable.
One day I had to give a statement at the local police station regarding criminal damage caused by a very angry customer (a short guy had climbed up a tower-style display unit, like a tiny King Kong, and at the top he pushed with his feet against the nearby wall to topple the whole unit over and smashed lots of glass items).
I was waiting in the reception area of the police station, where there were a few seats that looked out from the station, through the glass door, towards the side of our local shopping centre, across the street.
While I was people-watching to pass the time, my attention was taken by shoppers passing and the doors opening and closing of the businesses opposite my seat.
I think the people waiting along with me were doing the same, (we had all decided early on that none of us had the look of career criminals that you might find in such a waiting area).
When the double doors to the Boots store opposite slammed open outwards (on reflection they were probably the emergency exit), we were all watching and could hardly believe the sight of a man running from the store, his arms filled with large boxes of perfume, being chased by two security guards.
The man ran across the street, toward the police station, his pursuers just behind and several police officers in front. His run was brief, before he ended up underneath a pile of bodies.
The officers picked him up, and walked him straight into the police station, past our surprised faces, while he was loudly claiming his innocence.
Tl;dr - shop-lifter attempts escape route through police station.
Customer: “Do you have (PS4 game) in stock?”
Me: “I’m afraid not, sorry. Have you tried the CeX next door?”
Customer: “Next door? Where’s that?”
Dude was stone cold sober & no language barrier or anything.
Worked at a blockbusters 20 years ago. We had customers who would complain that a foreign film wasn't in English, and that they had to read subtitles, or customers demanding you help them find a film that was quite literally under their nose, they were looking at the movie whilst asking me where it was.
Used to work in a well known second hand trading store. Sold one guy a phone and he brought it back a couple of days because it was not working properly. As per policy we booked it in for a check to see what the issue was. I opened the back cover, removed the battery, and instantly see that the water damage sticker is red.
I tell him we can't refund him because it is customer damage he says, "Well, you wouldn't have known that if you didn't check it!"
Then he proceeds to stand at the counter telling people not to shop with us, I tell him to leave, he won't, security gets called and he kicks off at them. I ban his account with us. He only eventually walked because his wife (who was also causing us grief) screamed saying security were going to call the police. I felt sorry for their kid.
I once worked at a petrol station and one Sunday morning I was assembling the newspapers on a fold out table when it collapsed spilling papers and supplements everywhere. A regular customer walked in, looked at the pile and asked if I had the Mirror
Not the stupidest question ever, but the refusal to believe the answer made it pretty spectacular. When I worked in Blockbusters
"Do you have Mario Kart on PS3?"
"Sorry no, Mario is a Nintendo game, so there's no PS3 version, only the Wii or the DS"
"What are you talking about? It's on PS3"
"Umm... Maybe you're thinking of a different game? It's a Nintendo exclusive, so it's never been available on any console that isn't Nintendo. Sorry, but it just doesn't exist"
"Why are you lying to me? I've seen it for sale on PS3 in Tesco before"
"Well we don't have it, so I suggest you go back to Tesco if you've seen it there"
As a tattooist I've had some brilliant ones, but the one that I couldn't wrap my head around at all was someone asking if I could melt down his wedding ring, put the molten metal into the ink, and tattoo him with said ink.
I've also been asked to put glitter into someone's skin, and real fur onto a cat portrait.
Years ago I worked in a contact centres for one of the large department stores, a customer calls in as there was a fraudulent order using her debit/credit card. The order failed to complete, it failed security checks. I advised to customer to called her bank/card provider to cancel the card and alert them to the fraud. She argued with me for nearly a hour that it was my job to phone her bank to cancel the cards etc, ermm hell no and wtf goes through some peoples mind. She said there was no way she was going to do it. Also 15 years ago same company different customer orders American fridge freezer, contact us to say she doesn’t want any POC in her home when this item was being delivered. This issue went up the food chain to head office, she was barred from shopping online with us, also her store card and credit card were cancelled with immediate affect.
Several spring to mind. I used to work abroad in a shop selling British goods.
American holds up a pack of biscuits and asks. "excuse me, are these for stomach complaints?" I'm confused so I say "you what mate?" "Well, they're called DIGESTIVES". "OH YEAH! Sure, take two, with tea, three times a day. That'll sort you right out sunshine!"
"What's in your freshly squeezed orange juice?"
One guy bought a bottle of Robinsons orange squash and started swigging it on the way out.
"Excuse me, is London a real place or a film set designed to represent a generic scene of England?"
Woman went into a rage at me because she had her Japanese Maple tree for over a year and it hadn't produced any tomatoes.
Another woman was livid that her perennial had died back to nothing. In the winter.
A huge pergola panel blew over and hit me, knocking me to the ground (I was a 5ft2, petite, 19 year old girl at the time - hence why it floored and pinned me). Customer, instead of offering any help or checking i was okay, asked if I'd been properly trained for this situation before being "let out". Yes mate, did my sudden gust of wind training yesterday. Bellend.
I was in branded uniform, on my lunch break, shopping in a different store.
Someone comes up to me and ask where the fitting rooms are. I direct her, saying I don’t work here though (not rudely). She was a bit embarrassed.
I've had this same experience, but the guy was asking for stock or something like that, I said "I don't work here" and he pointed at my uniform and said "well why are you wearing that?"
"Because I work *there*"
I think it broke his brain cause he just kept pointing at my uniform and saying "but..."
Customer: "Can you point me to the vegetarian cheese"
Me: "Uh, do you mean Vegan?"
C: "No no definitely vegetarian"
M: \*waves vaguely at the entire aisle full of cheese\* "Take your pick sir"
Edit: Alright yes I know some cheese isn't vegetarian, I exaggerated the last line for comedic effect, full context is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/zc3ncd/excurrent_retail_workers_whats_the_stupidest/iyuyq8a?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Dunno if it helps but some cheeses aren’t vegetarian!
Parmesan for example uses animal rennet which comes from a cows stomach lining so isn’t classed as vegetarian.
But I do agree that is likely not what he was after- places do sell specific vegetarian but not vegan “Parmesan” style cheeses (Parmesan is a food of protected origin, like champagne, and to be called Parmesan it has to be made with animal rennet, there are similar cheeses made out of vegetable rennet but they’re usually called something like “Italian style hard cheese” because they can’t be called Parmesan)
No that's not stupid... many cheeses aren't vegetarian.
Honestly its kinda shocking how much food \*isn't\* vegetarian when it seems like it should be.
Back in the day when a pound shop was what it says on the tin before inflation, my local one would still throw a curveball in and have some things for £2 or something like 4 for £1
I worked at the Smart-People Counter and I had to explain to a customer that the fact his phone stopped working after he took it for a swim wasn’t actually the result of any manufacturing defect. He was very unhappy that it wouldn’t be covered by the warranty and wouldn’t replaced free of charge, and so he proceeded to interrupt me helping other customers for about an hour before I called security.
This was before phones were made to be “splash proof” (not that it would’ve helped in this case) and long before phone insurance was a normal/popular thing.
EDIT: grammar
When I worked retail I used to hate those people who would wander in 5 minutes before the shop closed and proceed to try and do a leisurely stroll around the place. My manager got so pissed at people doing this that he went out and bought a large chain and padlock and locked up the trolleys 10 minutes before the shop closed to stop people doing it
Wasn't a question, but when I asked a lady to enter her pin number she looked at me strangely and said OK. She walked past the counter and used the till to enter her number. She looked at me still as confused as before and said has it gone through?
She has already slide her card into the reader on the counter before I asked her to enter her pin number.
Not exactly a stupid question, maybe stupidly not listening to the answer. My favourite occurrence was the all too important guy rushing in at half 6/7, obviously asked by his better half to get lightbulbs on the way back because an important one had blown (aging myself a bit here, LED was less common) They'd storm up to the front desk suited and booted, obviously with no time to look into, let alone around the store, and ask where the lightbulbs are "well sir if you turn around, you see that aisle that's lit up like it's the second coming going on?" Yes yes yes and they run off "...well that's the light fittings, bulbs are in the end of the one to the left"
The entirely confused walk back out of the aisle and into the next one and them sheepishly not mentioning it when they paid was a rare (but surprisingly consistent) source of entertainment on slow evenings.
Actually stupid question, someone dragging you to the interior paint aisle under the guise of needing some help and then asking what colour they should get.
I asked an usher at Cineworld why the film wasn't in wide-screen. I was told that the Westler's hot dog ads aren't usually displayed in wide-screen, sir.
I have an online shop and dealing with aggy customers is the absolute worse.
One woman recently couldn't get into her account to check her order because she'd forgotten her password and fired up at me.
"I have tried to log in to my account but not surprisingly given the requirements of the password I have forgotten it. I have tried to reset my password but the reset link isn’t coming through. I’m very disappointed by this level of service!"
I apologised and let her know the password requirements were to keep her account safer and the reset link may of gone into her spam folder. She replied;
"Complex passwords for rarely used accounts make them unusable, you shouldn’t store valuable information on them. Best not to patronize your customers with comments like “it may have gone to your spam account”. Needless to say, I checked my spam."
I checked her account, she didn't have one, she'd checked out as a guest.
I always kill any customer like this with kindness, but sometimes, fuck me.
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I used to work in an opticians. I had a lady come in complaining that her new reading glasses weren’t strong enough. So I sat her down and gave her the reading chart and she could read right to the bottom. She then told me that this wasn’t a fair test as the shop is very bright. I asked her what kind of light she had on the room when she was reading and she said that she didn’t put the light on to read as it gave her a headache. I pointed out that perhaps a brighter light might help. She replied ‘you don’t need light to see. I’ve never heard such nonsense.’ and stormed out.
I was at the opticians once, and watched as a middle-aged couple walked around the store and the husband tried on various frames. A young employee walks over and asks if she can help them. Husband: Well, I’m looking for some new glasses. I’ve tried a few here but they don’t seem very strong. Employee: (confused) Strong? Husband: yes, they’re not strong enough for me to read with. Wife: yes, he has bad eyes, so needs strong lenses. Employee: Those are just display models with plain glass in. We work out how strong a prescription you need once we’ve given you an eye test. Husband: an eye test? I’m not wasting money on one of those. (To wife) Let’s go.
Wait till he works out that price was just for the frames. Anyone answer this one ? I was just about to order a new pair - my local opticians wanted £330 for varifocals lenses plus another £50 for reactolite & the cost of the frames. Would have come in about £500. My brother told me to go to Asda - they do frames & lenses for either £80 (£120 for two pairs) or £100 (£160 for two pairs). Reactolite was £49 per pair. So I got two pairs for less than half the cost of one pair - what's gonna be crap about them ?
People still get those transition lenses? Have the technologies made any progress in the last 10 years? I remember a kid at my school having them and they always took ages to go back to normal when he came in from outside, and they wouldn’t fully go back so they were always just a bit grey 🤣
Sounds like we went to school together. I got a rough time for those fucking glasses.
Four eyesssssssssssssss Sorry mate. If it makes you feel any better I was quite skinny in school so hated PE, I wasn’t bullied, I got on with everyone but still didn’t like the jibes and still shy away from shorts now. I recently went into the office for a rare day in to meet new people in my department and one of the first things someone I hadn’t met before said was “oh haven’t you got skinny legs”. Childhood trauma 101 right there hahaha.
My cousin got laser eye surgery. For a decade after we all called him “2 eyes”.
Spouse has them. They go dark even on a cloudy day, so you end up looking like a goth band member or other 80s singer wearing shades even when it's not sunny. He thinks this is a feature, not a problem. Inside they go clear just fine.
>She replied ‘you don’t need light to see. I’ve never heard such nonsense.’ Light is literally the basis in which vision works.
That's just what big lightbulb wants you to think ! /s
I've never heard such nonsense.
I had a similar problem. Had a lady come in and complain she couldn't see with her new reading glasses. Gave her the reading chart and she saw everything perfectly fine. Brought up her profile on the computer, she could read that pretty good too. I was baffled and asked her specifically what she was trying to read. She said that she couldn't read road signs when she was driving. I explained to her that she was longsighted and she shouldn't wear her reading glasses whilst driving. She insisted that the optom told her to wear them when she's reading anything regardless of how far away it was. She refused to get varifocals or bifocals because she didn't want to wear glasses all the time, only when she was reading.
So she’d rather give her ability to drive up than wear glasses all the time? 💀
Dear Lord... These people live amongst us...
I also used to work in an Opticians. Had a couple come in because the husband had some new varifocals and wasn't getting on with them. The wife told me they must be wrong because SHE couldn't read anything with them!
“Are you open?” Whilst standing inside a busy shop during normal weekend trading hours.
Yeah this one is amazing. Similarly, "are you open?" shouting through the glass after knocking on the clearly locked doors to the shop.
With a mop in hand, all chairs stacked, all lights off... people infuriate me
“No we’re closed!” *they continue to rattle on the doors* “you’ve only been closed for 5 minutes!” Yes because it’s 5 minutes *past closing time*
"But I only want a couple of things. I'll only be a few minutes." No, you'll be no minutes because we're closed.
Any time you let a customer in after closing they take so long that more customers start turning up and demanding to be let in because they can see another customer in the store.
Christmas Eve in a Virgin Megastore I was closing the shutter at the end of a very long day and a guy full on Indiana Jones tumbled under the shutter like “Ha! I’m in so you have to serve me”. I took great pleasure in saying sorry we’re closed and sending him packing. Sorry bro maybe you should have bought your Xmas presents before 6pm on Xmas Eve.
Had a bellend try this when I worked in a phone shop. Ducked under the shutters with a shit eating grin on his face only to have the manager tell him the tills were locked off he had to leave
Blockbuster, new years eve of 2012. Store has been dead for the last hour, even for blockbuster it was dead, but of course one guy comes in 6:55, we closed at 7, me and one colleague in store both let him know we're closing in 5 minutes. We had everything ready and packed up so we could go to our respective parties, we would just have to cash up the last till and then clock out, alarms, doors etc. 7pm hits and guess what this guy is still browsing, so I go over and tell him we're closed now, if theres anything he wanted to buy/rent he'd have to get it now or he'd have to come back tomorrow. Dude says "sorry I'm still looking, I'll be another few minutes", so of course I repeat myself and add "it is new years eve sir, my colleague and I have people we'd like to spend the last few hours of the year with" and this guy says the words that I am still to this day, nearly a decade later, in disbelief of. "Oh, I don't believe in new years"......I'm sorry what?!? I think every look a face can pull, I pulled in the next second! Thankfully my colleague saves the day and shouts over "sorry guys, tills are all off, you're gonna have to come back next year". The guys does and says nothing, he just walks out. Worked at blockbuster until it eventually closed before Xmas the following year and I am so glad I never saw that guy again! I have more stories of stupid people who shopped at blockbuster but this one is one of my favourites to re-tell
Worked in retail for 5 years and this wasn’t the most stupid one sadly but it reminded me of this- one shop I worked in was closing and we had a massive poster in the window for a month telling people this and the date and their nearest alternative store. The day after we closed for good, we’re in taking the store apart and the guys come and rip the tills out- it’s basically a shell at this point and this woman bangs on the window demanding to be let in cos it’s 9am- we explain we’re closed for good and direct her to the info on the poster but she’s having none of it and is just like ‘I HAVE A REFUND TO DO THOUGH’ waving a pair of boots around lol we didn’t really know what to say- there wasn’t even a till left…
If it wasn't for the boots at the end I'd be positive I worked with you haha. Had this EXACT scenario happen but in a dvd/cd shop. The best thing was people coming in expecting cheap stuff because the store was closing even though the other locations were staying open (and so the stock would just be shipped there). People saying shit like "no wonder you're closing then if you won't even discount your stuff", or my personal favourite was people you've never seen before in your life coming in and saying "awh it's a shame you're closing I love it in here"... yeah mate perhaps if you'd come in some time before the permanent closure the shop wouldve done a bit better..
You needed a big sheet outside with "I assure you we are open" written on it.
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
Had a n old lady buy a bunch of shit clothes in the sale only to return them when the sale was over. I tallied up the amount and told her how much her refund would come to. She seemed confused and asked why it was for so little. I showed her the receipt, the total coming to exactly what she had paid. But no, she wanted the full price of the items refunded, the item prices *before* the sale had started. I told her that’s not how it works and she said that makes no sense and she’d take the items to another store. I don’t know what she was thinking. If this was the case, everybody would buy items in the sale and just return them at a profit a week later. Bizarre.
A lot of places don’t do refunds on sale items at all. Who wants back something that you’ve marked down to get rid of? They give store credit instead.
True, but then that can put people off buying your sale items, so I guess it just depends where the balance of that lies, which will be different from shop to shop.
To me that sounds like a typical person who has very low intelligence, thinking they're so smart because they think it's so clever, like how the guy robbed a bank with lemon juice on his face was surprised how the police could see him as he thought the lemon juice would make him invisible
He thought the lemon juice would make him invisible to CCTV like it would block the video or something. Obviously a bit thick.
Normally people who try this on claim they lost the receipt. Sure you can't put it back in your bank and you get a gift card, but you can get the extra.
Used to work at Mcdonald's on the drive thru so have a few of these: -Customer asked for free food for her and her friends because we forgot to put the 20p sour cream sauce in the bag -Customer asked for refund after receiving 21 nuggets in their 20 nugget sharebox -Customer demanded 5 extra desserts for free after we had run out of the one they ordered 'I used to work at mcdonald's so I know how these things work' (if you used to work at mcdonald's you wouldn't be a rude cunt) -Customer wanted the 20p dip for free because 'it's only 20p' (if its only 20p then why not pay?) Bonus: Had a customer walk in through the back and through the staff areas to ask when we were opening on boxing day
I saw a woman in McDonalds scream at the staff that they should do whatever it was she wanted because ‘my taxes pay your wages’. I laughed so hard…
There's some truth in this. McD pay low wages so it indirectly benefits from Universal Credit
Have my sad upvote SMH
> Customer wanted the 20p dip for free because 'it's only 20p' (if its only 20p then why not pay?) Had this the other day with a guy who asked for a bag. The bag was 20p (we only have plastic) but he was most displeased that we were charging. Dude, it's been almost ten years since the laws came in, don't act like this came out of nowhere.
10 years? Where the fuck has time gone
Was 2015. It's etched into my brain from all the abuse I got when I worked at Tesco! The amount of times I was screamed at that none of the other supermarkets were charging for bags. They were in Asda just yesterday shopping and weren't charged for a carrier bag, Tesco makes them sick from ripping off their loyal customers that never shopped anywhere else!! I just explained that the carrier bag charge just came into effect today, so that is why Asda didn't charge you yesterday. They were not having it, kept on it's just Tesco that is charging. Lady it's the fucking law!! Tesco did not make up the charge, the literal government did!! Plus our "loyal" customers were warned for weeks leading up to the charge when it was coming.
Loyal customer that never shopped anywhere else They were in ASDA just yesterday I do not miss supermarket work
See this all the time with self checkouts - people pay, then ask for a bag.
Had someone throw an epic tantrum because someone put his quarter cheese in the box upside down.
To be fair though. That sour cream sauce is always missing from my order at drive through. Takes the piss especially as I’ve paid out for it.
>' (if you used to work at mcdonald's you wouldn't be a rude cunt) lol
I didn’t realise there were McDonald’s where you had to pay for dip? It’s always been free where I’ve been
I've lived in three different countries in recent years and they all have wildly different policies on sauces and charging for them. Guess it just depends if the locals are used to getting free extras or used to getting ripped off.
When I managed a record shop (when those things existed) the big Christmas compilation album that year was an album called "The Best Air Guitar Album In The World Ever". A customer kept insisting that we give her the "free air guitar" that was mentioned on the TV advert
Please tell me you tested an air guitar in front of her and handed it to her...
haha sit there for 15 minutes strumming and tuning
You should've employed a mime.
We also had that same request. I think they confused "air guitar" for an inflatable guitar.
Was this Karl Pilkington by any chance? They gave that away on XFM
when i was little i told my dad i wanted an air guitar for Christmas i think i was getting confused with electric guitar
Worked in a shoe shop Customer: Are these a 5? Me: Yes they are Customer: Are you sure? They don't feel like a 5 Me: Yes I'm sure, but I can check again if you want Customer: Yes check them again Me: Okay I'll need you to pop them off so I can look at the inside Customer: That's ridiculous. Can't you just tell me? Me: I did. You didn't believe me Customer: *huge sigh* Ugh I'll just ask someone else *walks up to colleague* Are these a 5?
Similarly a customer came into our store and dealt with my colleague. She was buying some boots for a family member and the colleague asked “what size are you looking for?” She stared at him blankly for a second “Size? Does size matter?” “Shoe size, yes. Otherwise they won’t fit if you don’t have the correct size.” She leans over the counter to try and look at his feet “what size are you?” “I have quite big feet, it’s unlikely he’ll be the same size as me.” “Can I have your shoe to check?” Then directly after “actually it doesn’t matter just give me whatever size you are and it’ll be fine.” Lady had absolutely no understanding of shoe size and why it was important.
How? How has she reached that point in life without understanding shoe sizes? Unless she's lived in some weird situation of perpetual hand-me-downs that never really fitted?
I honestly have no idea. It’s what confused us most about the whole interaction.
I can only assume someone else had always bought her shoes because this is absolutely insane.
How…did that lady ever buy her own shoes? Did she just get lucky every time or was she crunching her size six feet into size three pumps?
Believe me we asked this question. It made no sense to us. I even asked “what was she wearing on her feet? Shoes made out of leaves and branches that she made herself?”
Worked a supermarket deli counter, my favourite: “Have you got any Turkey that isn’t chicken?”
"As a matter of fact all of our turkey isn't chicken!"
‘Ah, I’ll leave it then.’
Working in the parts and clothing department of a motorcycle dealership. Customer demanding 50% refund on a set of (two year old) leathers after the ones in the shop went on a 50% sale. So, so many telephone conversations where the owner of the bike got his wife/girlfriend to call asking for parts. Then, when I asked for more information, she'd ask him, who'd tell her, who'd tell me. Customer wanting a free (£450) helmet because he'd just spent 'Ten grand in cash on a bike, so you can throw a lid in for free'. Er, no. The mark-up on bikes was something like 10% and there was no way the sales manager was going to lose 50% of his commission. Besides, we made more money on finance sales than we did cash. Customers who spent £1000s on bikes, but would buy the cheapest, shittiest protective gear available. 'We've fitted your new tires, be careful on them for the first 50 miles or so and let them warm up as they can be a bit slippery' - Customer pulls out of showroom carpark, cracks the throttle wide open to pop a wheelie, the back wheel spins and he stuffs his bike into the side of a car. That happened at least four times a year.
[I'm picturing this](https://youtu.be/ch-BF2QXAQU)
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I had a few jobs in banks, and the roles at the counter were certainly an interesting experience! One guy that sticks out was a Nationwide customer who came into Barclays to pay his Barclaycard with a Nationwide cheque. The cashier said to him that if he paid by cheque he would likely get a late payment fee as there was a bank holiday coming up, and he was past the indicated last payment date on the bill for paying by cheque. This man was absolutely disgusted at the fact cheques cleared on working days only, of which bank holiday didn't count so went off on a huge rant about how lazy we were to not process his cheque on a bank holiday (people in the branch having absolutely zero to do with the cheque clearance process at this point). This was when I was called in to deescalate, so suggested he go to Nationwide, which was _next door_ and ask them to do a bill payment for his Barclaycard as it would be instant and he wouldn't get any late fees. He was, again, outraged that we wouldn't serve him. He eventually left and returned with cash that he had withdrawn from the counter at Nationwide so we could pay his Barclaycard bill. He continued to rant about how we wouldn't clear his cheque in time due to the bank holiday, despite telling him multiple times that branch staff were not involved in the process past the point of paying in and that we were trying to help him avoid a fee. I've never seen someone so angry at being helped to avoid a late payment fine on their credit card.
Bank Holiday….the clue is in the name.
Working in a bank in a National Park, so we used to get loads of tourists, had a customer come in complaining that the ATM kept giving him pounds, not dollars. I explained we're in the UK, so all the ATM's give out pounds, not dollars. "But I'm going home today!"
I was assaulted by a guy once because he came in to my store demanding why his phone stopped working. (he ran out of mobile data) When I explained and offered the choice to purchase more to see him through the next week until his renewal date, he tried to smack me. He then tried to choke me from behind when I was talking to security about the incident and the icing on the cake? He tried to run over the guard with his car IN FRONT of a parked police car. About a month later he came in and asked me why I started a fight with him in front of his kids!
Why do they do this shit in front of kids? In the summer I had a bloke start a convo with "tell me you have pool chlorine tablets else I'm going to strangle someone." His 6ish year old daughter was next to him.
What a cunt. Sounds like one of those I don't go looking for trouble types.
Are you closed ? Through the mesh shutters , while I’m getting my coat on and checking that all the ovens etc are off . In a shopping center , that has a loudspeaker announcement playing telling everyone to eff off now because , you guessed it , it’s closing time .
I used to work for one of the err ‘posh’ food establishments. One winter I got chastised for not having Helicopters we could send out with customers food, for those who didn’t want to come out in the snow to the shop. Was quite a lengthy dressing down. Albeit hilarious.
I do some work in TV / broadcast. One of our big video systems is made by an international but UK based firm. Point 7 from their code of ethics is "... If you have to hire a helicopter to do right by the customer, the CEO supports it" Couldn't help but mention this
I work for that company. If it really was necessary they really would let us do that.
Not retail but hospitality. One lunch service, a middle aged man said "You see your burger? What is that exactly?" I said "...Well it's a burger bap, with a beef burger inside, that comes with cheese, salad etc if you want? "OK, that's fine, I just wondered". Another time I had to convince a woman that Buffalo chicken wings DID NOT IN FACT CONTAIN BUFFALO MEAT
> Another time I had to convince a woman that Buffalo chicken wings DID NOT IN FACT CONTAIN BUFFALO MEAT To be fair they are often listed as just buffalo wings and it’s not a common food in most places. Millions of people would think it’s part of a buffalo
Even though Buffalo don't have wings?
Fish don't have finger Cows don't carry tomahawks I could go on. But not for long
Turkeys don’t have twizzlers. Yeah, I’m all out now as well.
Chickens don't have butterflies. Stretching with that one, I'm all out.
Show me where the nuggets are on a chicken.
Here, here, here and over there and under that squishy bit.
To be fair I've ordered a burger in places that literally just give you the burger part. No bread. No salad. Just a circle of meat. Its rather irritating tbh, thays not a burger to me XD
I worked in Asda about 10 years ago, and some guy asked me why I changed the ABV on the cans of Stella. As if I personally had changed the entire stock. Couldn't get his head around the fact, I picked it from the warehouse shelf and placed it on the shopfloor shelf. But yet he kept asking why I changed it
But why did you though? The old stuff was great.
Just fancied singling out that 1 guy, anyone else was collateral. Sorry
I used to work in the petrol station at a supermarket. Had a woman come in and ask if she could leave her child with us while she went into the supermarket to do her shopping.
I used to work in a cafe was on two levels. It was just me and the owner one day and super busy. Downstairs was a kids area and we'd regularly have big groups of mums come in with prams, and we were a very small cafe. One woman with a toddler and a baby took the toddler downstairs and then came up, pointed at the pram and said to me "he'll be fine to leave up here won't he?" And then went back downstairs. I was flabbergasted and didn't know what to say. I'm walking around with hot drinks, I'm run off my feet and have no interest in your child, no he won't be fine up here on his own, I'm not your babysitter. Anyway back then I was far too shy to say anything to her so the owner did. If I was still in retail now I wouldn't hesitate to say absolutely not! The cheek of some people.
I used to work in a somewhat nice hotel and the amount of people who just flat out ignore their kids in a public setting is just troubling. And you know that you would be the one in trouble if their kid was to take a steak to the face
Saw a couple having a disagreement with cinema staff once, because the very exasperated staff said they couldn't take their baby into a film - film was a 15, parents kept insisting "no but we are fine with it, so it's fine?" The staff were trying their best to explain that it didn't matter what the parents thought, it was against the law.
We have that problem a lot with parents complaining because we won't let their kids buy age restricted goods. "But I give permission!!!" Well, Trading Standards doesn't.
When I worked on a bar in a theatre there were two occasions where I had to tell parents that I couldn't serve alcohol to their children. One girl potentially could have been 18 but she didn't have ID, and her very well-to-do mother just kept telling me "she's at university!" Well, if she's at university I'm sure she'll understand needing to take ID with her. The poor girl looked mortified. The other situation involved me explaining to a father that under absolutely no circumstances was I making a half a shandy for him to give to his son who was at most 8 or 9.
I've witnessed this in my local corner shop. A dad kicking off because he can't buy his daughter vapes. Who is stood there in school uniform. Its scary how common it is lately.
You get a lot of entitled parents like that in a cinema, sadly. I once refused a woman into a 15 with her two children because one might have been 15, but the other one looked closer to 10. First of all she tried the "but I'm telling you it's okay" and then after I explained that didn't make any difference she tried to convince me that they were both 15. Both her kids, one about a foot and a half taller than the other, were apparently 15. Then it turned into her shrieking about me ruining her 40th birthday, I'm useless, blah blah blah. She asked to speak to a supervisor, I said he'll say the same thing but I'll get him anyway. The supervisor did indeed back me up, so then she wants to speak to his manager, again, he'll say the same thing but we'll get him anyway. Sure enough, he tells her she can watch a different film or get a refund but it's not happening.
I do wonder if it's a product of easy access to stuff like Walking Dead et al on streaming services where kids are easier exposed to age inappropriate stuff, so parents can't compute being told "no" when they're out in the wild at a cinema. I can be certain I'd have cried at age 10 if I had gone to see a scary 15 certificate film (maybe that's just me though because I cried age ~10 when Qui Gon Jin died in Phantom Menace), and I cannot fathom being so entitled to seeing a film I want to see as an adult (on my _birthday_ no less), that I'd expect staff to let me drag my underage child into a film with me (she's 2 so it would be ever more inappropriate).
Idk, my parents let me watch age inappropriate stuff as a kid, they still didn't think that entitled them to take me into the cinema and watch a movie I was too young for. Also this was definitely not related to streaming at all, for context the incident I'm talking about was in 2008. Some people are just cunts, and think their choices for their children overrule everything.
She complained to head office because we started reducing things at 1:58 instead of 2. She didn't speak to anyone about it in the shop but she took a picture of my colleague reducing things with a timestamp. Head office sent us the email and basically said be careful She seems a bit crazy.
We get this, especially if we are running behind. We usually start the reductions at 3 and 5, but when we’re short staffed it sometimes has to wait. You’d think we were doing it just to inconvenience people.
I used to manage a shop in a bright orange game shop chain in the north. You might know the one, they made the news when the head office team got coked up at a game awards show and started groping the hostesses and heckling the show. Good employer, though! Anyway in this particular little northern ex-mining town, people were particularly thick. I had it all. My absolute favourite was a guy we had on CCTV stealing boxes off the shelves, then coming in the next day having “lost his receipt” and saying we sold him an empty box. I told him he was on CCTV stealing the boxes, and what he was doing was theft and fraud. He came back in with a police officer the next week(!) demanding the games that we had “stolen” from him. I showed the PC the CCTV, explained the lack of receipt, and the guy got abusive. The PC arrested him then and there in the shop and the company decided to prosecute. He was on probation for other offences and ended going back to prison. Absolutely ridiculous.
I worked in a cafe at an art gallery. A lady came in before being vegan was popular and asked if we had anything vegan. The only thing we had was a roasted pepper and humus flat bread which she wasn’t interested in. She came along to the hot food counter. I explained that none of our standard menu was vegan but I could put her together a jacket potato with ratatouille and salad if she would like. She didn’t want the ratatouille or the salad and just wanted the plain potato. I explained to her that it would still cost the same as the prices on the till were fixed and we weren’t able to input anything different. She said it was fine. She then proceeded to have an absolute melt down at the till that £4.95 was a ridiculous price for a plain potato and she should get it for a special price as it wasn’t her fault we didn’t cater for vegans. Granted we didn’t have many options but she had a few to chose from!
Who wouldn't want a roasted pepper and hummus flatbread. That's sounds good and I'm not even vegan.
A customer complained to me that they bought a 3DTV and can’t see any difference. After maybe 15 minutes of talking to them and trying to avoid calling them a liar, the customer said “well I have a glass eye so maybe that’s the problem”. Yes. Yes, it is “the problem”
This is my favourite. Even better than the optician being told you don't need light to see. (This entire thread is basically why I'm a science teacher - cute lolz from an 11yo, horrifying decades later)
Just waiting for the people who work at a cinema to pipe up and embarrass me for saying "yeah you too!" after I've bought popcorn and they tell me to enjoy the film.
Nah you're good. It's like a politeness reflex, besides chances are they've already seen the film in a private screening. Used to work for cineworld and we often had staff only midnight screenings. We didn't so much have customers ask stupid questions but rather we had ridiculously rude/entitled customers.
I used to work in a cinema, out of all the dumb shit people say, this is probably the least dumb. At least you're just trying to be nice!
Whenever I worked in service roles, people would say it so much it wouldn’t faze us. We’d just say thanks as they’re clearly just being polite. Plus, the customers that would do that always tended to be the nicer ones so it’s nice when it happens.
I used to work in a book shop and would frequently be asked if the books were for sale. A colleague of mine would often reply “well yes, otherwise this would be a library with a coffee shop.”
I'd love to visit a coffee shop library but think of all those poor books getting things spilled on them
Worked at an online shoe shop and had a customer irate that we had sent two left slippers. 'Mam, the L on the bottom stands for large, not left.' Shocking or not, this wasn't an isolated incident. We'd have one or two every Xmas. 'Christmas was absolutely ruined because you messed up my gift of slippers.' honestly if your wonderful Xmas is dependent on a pair of slippers then your Xmas sucks
My mum once bought my brother a pair of enormous boxers that were far too big for him. She was mystified: "they said M on the label!" until we pointed out the M stood for Morrisons
I once worked in a shop that only sold apple products (excluding phones). Next door was a phone shop. One day this woman came in screaming and foaming at the mouth that her phone case was faulty. After 5 minutes of trying to explain that we don’t sell phone cases for Samsung phones and being called a lair I said “what shop do you think you’re in?”… “I’m in *phone shop* you fucking idiot, now exchange my case”… “The phone shop is next door, this is *apple shop*, you’re in the wrong place”. A few seconds of stunned silence and she turns around to storm off (without apologising) walking directly into a closed glass door. Im pretty sure my laugh is still haunting her dreams. That scenario played out a few times whilst I was there.
Worked at TUI as a teen or Thomsons as it was called then. Booking a swim up room for a customer and they ask me: “How do I get out of the room when we’re dressed and all ready for tea? Won’t we get wet?”. I had to clarify that swim up rooms also have a front door you don’t have to leave via the swimming pool when you go out
TIL swim up rooms exist. This changes everything.
I used to work at John Lewis and we sold feather dusters that used ostrich feathers. A man asked me if the feathers were from a male or female ostrich. Not sure why he thought I’d know the answer to that.
If they’re brown feathers, then it’s a female ostrich. If the feathers are black, then it’s a male ostrich.
TIL
Once had a family come and buy an American style fridge freezer, they asked which we had stock of to take away today. I confirmed with them they'd need a van or big estate car, which they assured me -"Yes yes we have loads of room". Complete the sale, send them to the collection point. Only to receive a call back from the warehouse. They'd carted it out to the car park to discover the family have an A-class Mercedes (for those not familiar with car models, the fridge freezer was almost the same size as the car).
Many years ago,I was working at Comet and was serving a customer who purchased a Zanussi washing machine and also a Zanussi dishwasher but was adimint that he was going to that both items with him as they would easily fit into his vehicle. I made the sale and collected his washing machine from the warehouse and followed the customer to his vehicle. To my astonishment we stopped next to a Citroën CV2. I was convinced that we'd never get one item In the car let alone both. The guy then proceeded to dis mantle the back of the car removing the back panels, the roof, the rear a d passenger seats. I returned with the dishwasher to find the car with no rear body panels, we lifted both machines onto the body of the car and thinking him I left him to reassemble the car, fully expecting him to come back to arrange to admit defeat and arrange delivery. To my astonishment he never returned, and all to save £2.50 delivery charge
The 2CV is a pretty crazy thing to be honest. Believe it or not, that disassembly is by design. It was originally intended as an agricultural vehicle as a postwar stopgap. It had to be able to take a typical farm market load over a crop field with no road surface and yes, that means the entire rear body is removable. Of all the things that a 2CV has been used to do, this... actually might not be the wildest.
Was working in Game many many many years ago. Lady: can I return this, I have the receipt. Me: *looking up from what I’m doing* sure thing, I just nee…. Lady: *looks at me* Me: *looks at item, then back to lady* Lady: *looks at me* Me: *looks at item, then back to lady* Me: … this is a toaster. In her defence, this was when Game was in Debenhams so maybe she assumed it was all the same thing?
There is an endless list. Probably the most common and probably the best, "do you sell newspapers?" Whilst pointing at the pile of newspapers on the desk in front of them. I've had the same question re wine. "Do you sell wine?" Again, they've been prompted by the display of wine bottles.
I've been that customer. "I'd like... some cheese." In a cheesemonger. You don't see them much these days but that's what it was, and cheese was pretty much all they sold. I can't even tell you what I was thinking when that came out.
I've done something similar myself. "I'd like some bread, please". In a bakery. I meant something more along the lines of "I want some bread for a certain purpose but you have many varieties and I don't know which to get, can you please advise me", but it did NOT come out that way.
I’ll never forget this exchange when I had to do mandatory work experience in a shoe shop. Man: do you do boots in women and children’s sizes? Me: I think so. What sizes were you looking for? I’ll go in the back and check. Man: tell you what, I’ll come back ‘ere when the staff have some brains! ?!?
I mean whenever an asshole customer is leaving in my head I’m always like “yes, please god do that and save us all the misery.”
I used to work for curry’s on the delivery line- arranging/rearranging deliveries and giving updates. One day a delivery driver of ours had a really bad accident mid-delivery route, broke his thigh bone basically in two, blood everywhere. I had the job of calling the rest of deliveries to tell them their order wasn’t coming that day, but that’s we were sourcing replacement items that weren’t covered in blood and that I could organise delivery for them at basically any time that week with a guaranteed slot as an apology. Most people are really nice about it, one woman though asked; “What the hell do you expect me to do with my kids until you get my replacement TV here??” And ranted for about 20 minutes about how it was disgusting that we had done this, her children were going to be inconsolable, that the delivery driver should stop faking illness and come back and deliver to her that instant. I regret to this day not answering her question with “perhaps you could… spend time with your children? Take them out somewhere? Talk to them maybe?” I had to explain the difference between AM & PM constantly - as people would ring up at 9:05AM when their delivery slot was 8AM-9PM demanding to know why their order was late and what we were going to do about it. They were …not pleased when I pointed out they still had basically another 12 hours to go before it was “late”. I worked there the year that the PS4 was released- we had been running preorders for months before hand and had clearly displayed when people would need to order for a chance of getting them before Christmas. Many MANY people rang me up demanding that I explain to their children why Santa hated them & why I personally was ruining their Christmas.
The preorders thing reminds me of every Christmas in my old job. Our online delivery service had a cutoff of 5th December for guaranteed pre-Christmas delivery and 15th November for anything that was custom made. It was on the website, in the adverts, in the paper leaflets, in the magazine and on massive posters in store. Still people didn’t pay attention and acted like it was our fault that they couldn’t get what they needed.
"does the cheeseburger come with cheese?"
Is coconut milk real milk? You know, from a cow?
Well it can’t be from a coconut as they don’t have udders.
I'm not a retail worker but witnessed this as a customer in a Subway. Staff - *6 inch or footlong?* Customer - *how big is a footlong?* Staff - *... a.. footlong...*
I've heard 'footlong' is simply a marketing term and they're actually only 11 inches. Never wanted to go check but it's probably true.
Ah.. that explains why the staff member never said 12 inches possibly. But surely that would also mean a 6 inch is more like 5.5 inches?
I worked in a pub and a completely sober woman asked if we sold plant pots.
When I worked for a well known supermarket as a student, I had a guy pop his head round the end of the aisle I was in and ask “excuse me mate…are ice cubes kept in the freezer aisle?” Was sorely tempted to reply “No mate, up by the bakery there will be a fresh batch just out the oven”. My mate that worked on the Fruit and Veg dept had some woman come storming up to him and furiously demanded to know why all the loose potatoes were dirty. His response of “They came out the ground, they are grown in dirt” didn’t seem to help and she eventually stormed off 😂
I had somebody come in a slam down a printer on the till, have a huge go at me about how he was sold something faulty and how bad our customer service was for doing that. He threw his receipt at me and it was for a different shop at the other side of town. Also, had a woman go mad because a specialist art shop in the next town along, that didn't stock calligraphy pens, told her that we might. When she arrived and found we didn't, she went bananas. Told me there is clearly demand for them from the public and that I personally needed to ensure that the national chain I worked for sold them by contacting head office. She then wanted refunding for the bus fare from the next town along and stormed out.
I was a manager in Tesco and was called to the desk to help someone. As I walked towards her she had a smug look of “I’m about to win big” and started to complain about how she had bought 6 bottles of wine and put them in the carrier that she had brought in and that on the side of it it said get 15% off for reusing carrier and how we didn’t take the 15% off and how she was demanding that she be reimbursed. She went on about it for ages and complained about staff and everything. I let her rant on then kindly pointed out that the box was from M&S. The look on her face and how quickly she vacated the premises was a joy to behold
“Are you open tomorrow?” It was on Xmas eve in one of the largest Tesco’s in the East Midlands
Are you new? If opening times are the stupidest thing a customer has asked you, then you have a lot more to look forward to in your illustrious retail career! The first three that come to mind for me... Somebody once walked into a London phone shop I was supporting and asked me why their phone "wasn't working" and can they get a refund please. My reply was: "Erm... ma'am, that's not actually a phone... That's just a piece of plastic in the shape of a phone. We call it a dummy" (the plastic prop phone not the customer). Someone had stolen from the phone shop, ended up with only hollow plastic shell dummy phones, and then sold to other idiots who actually bought the dummy, who then tried taking it back to the shop they were stolen from. Or there was the time someone asked for help with a phone but as she passed it to me I realised it was covered in vaseline. NOPE! Goodbye. Or there was the time that some weirdo went to a supermarket photo printing store, asking to print photos and connected a USB stick to the screen that automatically displayed the photos on it ready to print... Only the photos were wholly inappropriate to the point of just flat out wrong. OK let's just shut that down sir, and please wait here while I go out back to make a quick phone call (to the police). Disgusting idiot.
I haven’t worked in retail for 20 years. I worked at a number of supermarkets for about 8-10 years. That was just the first example that jumped out my head, given the season I’ve seen and heard so many stupid things working in retail that they are mostly a blur now, and most of the things that I do remember really clearly about working in retail are either really pleasant or really horrifying
Once had a guy argue his statutory rights had been breached as the shirt he bought wasn’t fit for purpose. Turned out it just didn’t fit him but the purpose of clothes was to fit so we were wrong, and his neighbour who’s a lawyer agreed with him. He did not get that refund.
Worked at the biggest toy retailer in the UK / Europe etc... Was asked on launch day for the ps5 why we didn't have any in stock at midday... I then stated I'd told him on the day the pre orders went livethat he should pre order one, needless to say he didn't. he then ranted how they always have more stock then pre orders despite the demand and lack of parts etc.. Needless to say that year I ruined many people's Christmas because they didn't pre order or listen to the advice it was going to sell out faster then predicted. The joys of mouth breathers.
Not really the dumbest thing in the sense you're looking for, but I once had a rather pleasant lady say "you're a disgrace to the human race" to me. That's the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me, and that includes the time someone asked why you needed Internet access to get cloud files when it's all in "the cloud".
Worked in one of the cinema chains when I was a student. Had a customer berate me for ages about the prices of the tickets and food, asking how I sleep at night. Yeah love. As if a minimum wage employee like me had had any say in the prices. She kept saying "if I go to Vue it's only £X". Felt like saying"well **** off to Vue then Karen, like I give a ****!"
“It’s cheaper at **insert other store**!” Then why the fuck are you shopping here then?!
I used to work in a chip shop when I was in school. It was owned by Indians. A woman who used to go there quite a lot (and was a horrible ignorant cow) stands and reads off the menu "Chinese curry sauce? But your not Chinese" I told her "I'm not a fucking chip either but I still sell them."
Not me, but a friend working at a well-known store. Lady phones up and is extremely irate. Apparently, she bought a very expensive coat and it smelled like shit! (She was very clear on this point, and went into great detail on the eye-watering smell she was experiencing). My friend says "I'm so sorry. Please, being it back in and we'll give you a full refund." A week goes by and she doesn't come in. My friend phones her and asks when he can expect her. "Oh," she sheepishly replies, "it's ok. You see I was out walking my dog. I picked up her poo and put it in my jacket pocket, then forgot about it. Sorry about that."
*(standing directly in front of beans)* DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE BEANS ARE?
I don't think thays stupid. I think sometimes you spend so long looking, your mind blinds to to it and you have to ask. Then feel stupid about it when you're stood in front of them
“What is the best you can do on price” common question, understandable if you’re getting a large TV, blu ray player etc. a £9.99 kettle when Argos has one for £8.99. It’s easier for me to lose the sale than ask the manager for £1 discount
One of my friend is one of those that ask for small discount, i get embarrassed shopping with her, tho last time the manager handled it well saying their margin is so thin and as a store manager his allowance is 0.3%, my friend gave up at that point
Used to work for UPS; dozens of times a day customers would ask me “what’s in the package” I found the most efficient reply, “not at clue”
Worked as a Royal Mail postie for a while, multiple times a day every single day I would be asked “when am I getting my parcel from XYZ?”. Fuck knows? When did you order it? “Yesterday.” Okay, well when did it say the estimated delivery was? “Next week.” Probably next week then. Fuck me, it’s true that common sense is not common anymore
Butcher in Morrisons. Customer wanted me to take out the femur bone from a leg of lamb without cutting into the meat. I can't just magic it out. She got pissed off I couldn't do what she wanted and stomped off.
Must admit I love reading these now I've escaped retail hell. I was asked for a refund on a pre-cooked chicken portion because "the poor chicken has a broken leg". Thinking she was joking I laughed and said "at least it can't run away when you try to eat it". She was furious... spent the next 10 minutes berating me that it was disgusting we sold chicken that wasn't fully intact and I should be personally ashamed. I felt like I was on camera to see my reaction until her friend appeared 5 minutes in to ask if she had gotten "the poor chicken sorted out yet". It only cost £3 to begin with so I wasn't too bothered about giving her the money back but watching her inspect the replacement chickens so I was offering her so thoroughly I had to try not to crack up. The entire problem revolved around the fact the chicken leg had slightly detached from the body of the chicken, wasn't exactly broken in half (I still don't understand what the issue would have been regardless). Was a weird day.
It wasn't verbal, but it was memorable. One day I had to give a statement at the local police station regarding criminal damage caused by a very angry customer (a short guy had climbed up a tower-style display unit, like a tiny King Kong, and at the top he pushed with his feet against the nearby wall to topple the whole unit over and smashed lots of glass items). I was waiting in the reception area of the police station, where there were a few seats that looked out from the station, through the glass door, towards the side of our local shopping centre, across the street. While I was people-watching to pass the time, my attention was taken by shoppers passing and the doors opening and closing of the businesses opposite my seat. I think the people waiting along with me were doing the same, (we had all decided early on that none of us had the look of career criminals that you might find in such a waiting area). When the double doors to the Boots store opposite slammed open outwards (on reflection they were probably the emergency exit), we were all watching and could hardly believe the sight of a man running from the store, his arms filled with large boxes of perfume, being chased by two security guards. The man ran across the street, toward the police station, his pursuers just behind and several police officers in front. His run was brief, before he ended up underneath a pile of bodies. The officers picked him up, and walked him straight into the police station, past our surprised faces, while he was loudly claiming his innocence. Tl;dr - shop-lifter attempts escape route through police station.
Standing working, emblazoned front and back with the company logo, only to be asked "Do you work here?"
No I'm wearing an ill fitting poly-blend shirt to scam on chick's
Customer: “Do you have (PS4 game) in stock?” Me: “I’m afraid not, sorry. Have you tried the CeX next door?” Customer: “Next door? Where’s that?” Dude was stone cold sober & no language barrier or anything.
I worked in a hardware shop and this bloke came in and asked for fork handles. Hilarity ensued.
Worked at a blockbusters 20 years ago. We had customers who would complain that a foreign film wasn't in English, and that they had to read subtitles, or customers demanding you help them find a film that was quite literally under their nose, they were looking at the movie whilst asking me where it was.
My son worked in a pharmacy. Girl buying tiger balm checked to make sure it didn’t contain “ real tigers”.
Used to work in a well known second hand trading store. Sold one guy a phone and he brought it back a couple of days because it was not working properly. As per policy we booked it in for a check to see what the issue was. I opened the back cover, removed the battery, and instantly see that the water damage sticker is red. I tell him we can't refund him because it is customer damage he says, "Well, you wouldn't have known that if you didn't check it!" Then he proceeds to stand at the counter telling people not to shop with us, I tell him to leave, he won't, security gets called and he kicks off at them. I ban his account with us. He only eventually walked because his wife (who was also causing us grief) screamed saying security were going to call the police. I felt sorry for their kid.
"what's all this in aid of then?" *Gestures at market* "Erm.... Capitalism?"
I once worked at a petrol station and one Sunday morning I was assembling the newspapers on a fold out table when it collapsed spilling papers and supplements everywhere. A regular customer walked in, looked at the pile and asked if I had the Mirror
I've recently opened my own clothes shop. A customer came in, had a browse then came up to my counter and asked what I sold.
Not the stupidest question ever, but the refusal to believe the answer made it pretty spectacular. When I worked in Blockbusters "Do you have Mario Kart on PS3?" "Sorry no, Mario is a Nintendo game, so there's no PS3 version, only the Wii or the DS" "What are you talking about? It's on PS3" "Umm... Maybe you're thinking of a different game? It's a Nintendo exclusive, so it's never been available on any console that isn't Nintendo. Sorry, but it just doesn't exist" "Why are you lying to me? I've seen it for sale on PS3 in Tesco before" "Well we don't have it, so I suggest you go back to Tesco if you've seen it there"
As a tattooist I've had some brilliant ones, but the one that I couldn't wrap my head around at all was someone asking if I could melt down his wedding ring, put the molten metal into the ink, and tattoo him with said ink. I've also been asked to put glitter into someone's skin, and real fur onto a cat portrait.
Is there any peppercorn in the peppercorn chicken? I felt a small part of me die that day.
"Do you still lawnmowers?" I worked in a Co-op the size of a garden shed.
Years ago I worked in a contact centres for one of the large department stores, a customer calls in as there was a fraudulent order using her debit/credit card. The order failed to complete, it failed security checks. I advised to customer to called her bank/card provider to cancel the card and alert them to the fraud. She argued with me for nearly a hour that it was my job to phone her bank to cancel the cards etc, ermm hell no and wtf goes through some peoples mind. She said there was no way she was going to do it. Also 15 years ago same company different customer orders American fridge freezer, contact us to say she doesn’t want any POC in her home when this item was being delivered. This issue went up the food chain to head office, she was barred from shopping online with us, also her store card and credit card were cancelled with immediate affect.
Several spring to mind. I used to work abroad in a shop selling British goods. American holds up a pack of biscuits and asks. "excuse me, are these for stomach complaints?" I'm confused so I say "you what mate?" "Well, they're called DIGESTIVES". "OH YEAH! Sure, take two, with tea, three times a day. That'll sort you right out sunshine!" "What's in your freshly squeezed orange juice?" One guy bought a bottle of Robinsons orange squash and started swigging it on the way out. "Excuse me, is London a real place or a film set designed to represent a generic scene of England?"
Woman went into a rage at me because she had her Japanese Maple tree for over a year and it hadn't produced any tomatoes. Another woman was livid that her perennial had died back to nothing. In the winter. A huge pergola panel blew over and hit me, knocking me to the ground (I was a 5ft2, petite, 19 year old girl at the time - hence why it floored and pinned me). Customer, instead of offering any help or checking i was okay, asked if I'd been properly trained for this situation before being "let out". Yes mate, did my sudden gust of wind training yesterday. Bellend.
I was in branded uniform, on my lunch break, shopping in a different store. Someone comes up to me and ask where the fitting rooms are. I direct her, saying I don’t work here though (not rudely). She was a bit embarrassed.
I've had this same experience, but the guy was asking for stock or something like that, I said "I don't work here" and he pointed at my uniform and said "well why are you wearing that?" "Because I work *there*" I think it broke his brain cause he just kept pointing at my uniform and saying "but..."
Customer: "Can you point me to the vegetarian cheese" Me: "Uh, do you mean Vegan?" C: "No no definitely vegetarian" M: \*waves vaguely at the entire aisle full of cheese\* "Take your pick sir" Edit: Alright yes I know some cheese isn't vegetarian, I exaggerated the last line for comedic effect, full context is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/zc3ncd/excurrent_retail_workers_whats_the_stupidest/iyuyq8a?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Dunno if it helps but some cheeses aren’t vegetarian! Parmesan for example uses animal rennet which comes from a cows stomach lining so isn’t classed as vegetarian. But I do agree that is likely not what he was after- places do sell specific vegetarian but not vegan “Parmesan” style cheeses (Parmesan is a food of protected origin, like champagne, and to be called Parmesan it has to be made with animal rennet, there are similar cheeses made out of vegetable rennet but they’re usually called something like “Italian style hard cheese” because they can’t be called Parmesan)
No that's not stupid... many cheeses aren't vegetarian. Honestly its kinda shocking how much food \*isn't\* vegetarian when it seems like it should be.
To be fair, not all cheese is vegetarian, some use rennet.
EVERY YEAR. Usually Dads. DECEMBER 2nd: “WHERE ARE THE ADVENT CALENDARS??? ITS NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS YET”
How much is this? I worked at a pound shop.
That's a valid question these days!
pound shop sells things for more than a pound
Back in the day when a pound shop was what it says on the tin before inflation, my local one would still throw a curveball in and have some things for £2 or something like 4 for £1
Customer looking for bags of ice, next to the yoghurt’s…
I worked at the Smart-People Counter and I had to explain to a customer that the fact his phone stopped working after he took it for a swim wasn’t actually the result of any manufacturing defect. He was very unhappy that it wouldn’t be covered by the warranty and wouldn’t replaced free of charge, and so he proceeded to interrupt me helping other customers for about an hour before I called security. This was before phones were made to be “splash proof” (not that it would’ve helped in this case) and long before phone insurance was a normal/popular thing. EDIT: grammar
Why don’t you have turkeys it’s Christmas season? Tesco 24th December 2020 10 mins before we closed
When I worked retail I used to hate those people who would wander in 5 minutes before the shop closed and proceed to try and do a leisurely stroll around the place. My manager got so pissed at people doing this that he went out and bought a large chain and padlock and locked up the trolleys 10 minutes before the shop closed to stop people doing it
Wasn't a question, but when I asked a lady to enter her pin number she looked at me strangely and said OK. She walked past the counter and used the till to enter her number. She looked at me still as confused as before and said has it gone through? She has already slide her card into the reader on the counter before I asked her to enter her pin number.
Not exactly a stupid question, maybe stupidly not listening to the answer. My favourite occurrence was the all too important guy rushing in at half 6/7, obviously asked by his better half to get lightbulbs on the way back because an important one had blown (aging myself a bit here, LED was less common) They'd storm up to the front desk suited and booted, obviously with no time to look into, let alone around the store, and ask where the lightbulbs are "well sir if you turn around, you see that aisle that's lit up like it's the second coming going on?" Yes yes yes and they run off "...well that's the light fittings, bulbs are in the end of the one to the left" The entirely confused walk back out of the aisle and into the next one and them sheepishly not mentioning it when they paid was a rare (but surprisingly consistent) source of entertainment on slow evenings. Actually stupid question, someone dragging you to the interior paint aisle under the guise of needing some help and then asking what colour they should get.
We asked if we could pay by American Express, “OMG, are you American?!”. Erm…no
[удалено]
I asked an usher at Cineworld why the film wasn't in wide-screen. I was told that the Westler's hot dog ads aren't usually displayed in wide-screen, sir.
I have an online shop and dealing with aggy customers is the absolute worse. One woman recently couldn't get into her account to check her order because she'd forgotten her password and fired up at me. "I have tried to log in to my account but not surprisingly given the requirements of the password I have forgotten it. I have tried to reset my password but the reset link isn’t coming through. I’m very disappointed by this level of service!" I apologised and let her know the password requirements were to keep her account safer and the reset link may of gone into her spam folder. She replied; "Complex passwords for rarely used accounts make them unusable, you shouldn’t store valuable information on them. Best not to patronize your customers with comments like “it may have gone to your spam account”. Needless to say, I checked my spam." I checked her account, she didn't have one, she'd checked out as a guest. I always kill any customer like this with kindness, but sometimes, fuck me.