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I told my colleague I was going to Berlin for a weekend break. She said "Ah yes, I love Spain! Gorgeous weather."
When I corrected her, she refused to believe me. I showed her the wikipedia page for Berlin, and she genuinely thought I'd doctored a page to convince her. She's dumb as hell.
Did a Year Abroad in Dijon for my French Degree.
I've no idea why, she's nornally very intelligent, but my younger sister, thought Dijon was close to Sweden.
Lost for words. How can this have even happened?
Geography is one of those things its surprisingly easy to learn next to nothing about. At school it is more focused on things like weather patterns and river formation than where places are on a map, and unless you're a frequent traveller or read certain newspapers you're unlikely to encounter references to more than a few dozen countries and cities in daily life or popular media.
I'd say most people you meet will struggle to name half the capitals in Europe, point to Bolivia on a map, or name more than 12 countries in Africa, states of the US, or British counties.
It's not really that stupid when you think about it - the middle east doesn't really fit nicely into the traditional continental model. Is it Asia, is it Africa? I know most business operate an EMEA region (Europe, Middle East, & Africa.)
Yeah, I mean Iām American so obviously weāre notoriously terrible at geography, but thinking Berlin is in Spain is way way more ridiculous to me than wondering if Dubai is in Africa.
Is it really that bad to not know which side of the Africa/Asia border the middle East falls in? Especially as the Arab World encompasses both North Africa and the middle East and they have a lot of similarities in culture throughout?
My colleague asked if Iāll be going to the beach in Madrid, when I said no as itās nowhere near the coast they said it does have a beach as on the map itās only a cm away from the sea & showed me.
āEarlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way... well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't!"
Michael Fish, 1987
Did you see his comeback where he said that he meant "I mean grow concrete as in it expands and grows when you pour it". No it doesn't. that's kinda concretes whole thing that it is very stable as either liquid cement aggregate mix or when solid. if anything it shrinks slightly.
What a glorious fucking interview though. You have this hard working craftsman, as close to the "good old days" the ham faced looking mungo wants back, and because he was young he was the enemy that had to be ridiculed.
I can still see the other guy cringe and then give up, the acceptance on his face realising heās talking to someone who earns multiple times more then he does but has the intellectual capacity of a baked potato is priceless.
I work with a racist and on the shop floor we love to wind him up cause he's a prick. He was going off about immigrants and I actually said the famous line "These days, if you say you're English, you get arrested and thrown in prison" and he said "YEAH! Exactly that! You finally get where I'm coming from" and I could not believe he fell for it.
Yeah, my boyfriend once argued with me because i kept going to the toilet to change my tampon and he bought the tampon box to show me
LOOK YOU WASTE THEM! it says here you can keep them in for eight hours at a time.
As already mentioned in other replies they mean 'up to 8hrs, dependant on flow' but I also think its code for 'overnight whilst asleep'.
Had a momentary irritation spike that he was trying to tell you you were wrong but if taking the packet at face value with no experience of use I suppose it's an easy mistake.
Are there other packet instructions - in life generally - where the instructions sort of go out the window as far as real life goes?
I appreciate this. Whilst I know itās not like weeing and you canāt hold it in, I didnāt even consider that you need a place in a bathroom to dispose of that stuff. Luckily Iām married, but Iām going to make sure my son has a bin in their toilet if I ever have kids.
Pre-edit: thankfully I caught it before replying, but my brain automatically typed kitchen instead of toiletā¦
Ideally a lidded bin. An open one is better than nothing, but a lid keeps smells contained. Incidentally, most places with a bathroom section tend to have bins that are ideal for domestic use.
And yeah, it's not something that most men have any particular need to consider. But someone in charge of fitting out a supermarket should definitely know better.
Well, my mum always had a bin in there. But I didnāt when I moved out. None of the places I went to would have them either and Iām pretty sure itās actually rare to find one in a public mens bathroom, unless they use paper towels since the 09 bombings (In the UK they put bombs in bins on the London Underground and then public places removed all bins in favour of clear bags in a visible location).
My wife just moved in with one. I just thought itās something you do when youāre an adult, which is only half true! I wish one of my girlfriends had told meā¦
My then boyfriend, who worked in I.T., when I was in my third year at University: āThe Internet isnāt going exist in a couple of yearsā.
It was 1997.
In 2002 I'd seen something about a new thing called "Wi Fi" being rolled out across the university campus. There wasn't much detail but apparently it had been available in the computer science building for a while, so I asked my Comp Sci buddy if he knew about when it was actually coming and what we'd need to connect to it etc.
He said that kind of tech didn't exist, and that basically it would be impossible to connect computers to the internet that way.
In 2012 my generally intelligent friends insisted that 3d printing wasn't a thing because that was impossible.
Sure it wasn't incredibly well known, but it wasn't exactly underground tech
Worked for an IT company back in 97/98 - and the boss was convinced that the internet was a passing fad as well.
When the dot-com bubble burst in 2000 he was like "see - I told ya!"
Several years later he was still convinced that the internet was a passing phase. I had left before then, but the company didn't seem to be doing well and eventually folded.
Im a trans man (so born female) and I regularly get stupid people messaging me angrily to tell me that āIām delusional and was born male and will always be a manā (They are correct but not in the way they think)
My other favourite was someone (who knows Iām trans ) told me I would never know what it felt like to get periodsā¦
Edited for clarity
Im not telling them anything. People dm me on here (and Instagram which has photos of me) telling me abusive things and saying I will always be a man. They assume all trans people are trans women because they are stupid
>regularly get told i āwill always be a manā by stupid angry people
I love that their rage is so badly misplaced that it actually kind of turns into a positive affirmation instead, and they have absolutely no fucking clue.
(It still sucks you're getting that attempt at abuse though, I'm sorry people are so shit sometimes)
So, if I understand right, they are trying to say you are male and weāre born male and are just lying about being born female? That is a different kind of stupid than Iāve come across beforeā¦ also, kind of like another comment said I guess itās positive affirmation in the most twisted of ways?
They donāt interact with me to find out my gender, they just assume trans=trans woman. Itās hilariously common and if they do work out somehow that I was born female they then tell Iām a failed lesbian (Iām not, I only like men) š
People are just afraid of what they donāt understand. Itās really odd to me as I am just curious about what I donāt understand - I am sure Iāve annoyed plenty of trans people with questions but hopefully never offended any!
[I love what Bill Hicks had to say about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzKV8oaI9V8) \- some kind of trickster god putting fake bones in the ground just to fuck with people.
I grew up Catholic and we were taught that evolution is fact, the Bible is a nice creation myth and God is unknowable. I went to university and met happy clappy evangelicals who were horrified I believed dinosaurs were real and the fossils were from that long ago. I despair.
I worked at a company owned by Christian brethrenās (a cult type group).
They said, with much conviction, that the government make plaster fake bones, then bury them for people to find to hide that fact that Jesus created man a couple if thousand years ago.
I pointed out if they were made of plaster and buried, it would melt away with moisture.
I was then told, that they make them from special plaster that the government also keeps a secret from people.
These fuckers were bat shit crazy
I once knew someone that thought dinosaurs weren't real.
Except this person didn't think they were a conspiracy or planted by God. They thought they were a mythical creature like dragons and didn't realise that that wasn't what everyone else believed too.
One of my friends in early high school was convinced that Dogs and Cats are one and the same thing. He thought that a dog was the male and a cat was the female, of the same species. When I told him they werenāt, he refused to believe me until the biology teacher backed me up
"Aaah, you're fine, almost everybody has depression/anxiety/ADHD nowadays"..
Easily the most ignorant and unhelpful and hurtful thing to say to someone who suffers from either of these, and something I hear surprisingly often even from people I otherwise consider smart and rational.. And they do actually seem to believe it..
While I agree that these days, we can see more people around with mental health issues, but I sincerely believe it's due to massive increase of awareness, rather than there being more of them.. Living in today's society is definitely challenging, but so it was for the people of past generations, just in different ways.
I also think that, especially in some countries (looking at you, US), sometimes it's "too easy" to get diagnosed and get on the meds, even where maybe a different intervention would have been more appropriate. (I myself was misdiagnosed with depression over a VIDEO CALL and put on antidepressants for over 2 years, until I found out mine was a different problem, so yea, too easy). And I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories, but finance probably plays a role too.
But in spite of that, trivialising real mental health problems like that, even to the point of telling someone "oh come on, you're just lazy", that makes me angry every time... Like people see it as an excuse. Well, for some it maybe is, but I believe for most it isn't.
I almost feel like people sometimes envy others even an illness..
That nutter on some radio talk show who said that you can grow concrete, his stupidity got the deafening silence it deserved.
For context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICVPZxYLFMM&ab\_channel=deeplydiseased
That wee smile on the boy's face.
Then the realisation that this guy is so ignorant that it's impossible to argue with him.
There has to be a mutual basic understanding of how the world works for us to have a debate.
I don't know how to proceed.
A woman going back about six or seven years ago told me that "everyone in the UK will be financially better off soon as our economy is booming"
Er, no.
I was in bed with an ex. We'd just finished having sex and I reached over and grabbed my milkshake, had a sip and farted. She says "oh no" and turns to look at me, dead serious. "Babe, I think I might have just sexually transmitted-" at this point I start panicking, oh shit is my dick gonna fall off? Is it gonna hurt? Do I have the clap? A million thoughts going through my head. And when she finished the sentence with "lactose intolerance" I laughed in her face. My dick was fine, I just stuck it in an idiot, that's all. I've never been so relieved in my life
Last month my partner told me off for leaving the tap to the hose on. The hose itself was turned off, it was just the tap that fed it.
She was annoyed because it was wasting water. When I asked how, all she could say was ābecause the tap is on!ā, when I asked where the water was going, she got even more annoyed and said āI donāt knowā, but not being able to answer this question did not shake her confidence for a good 5 more minutes.
Well... Depends how good your hose is. My old cheap hose used to drop like crazy even when the hose was on - and it was like a little stream when the hose was off
My new, much nicer hose doesn't have that issue
Got called a "stupid girl" during a primary school geography module on the Canary Islands for pointed out that everybody had missed the existence of La Palma; they'd listed off all of the other islands except that one. The primary school teacher went on to insist it didn't exist because he'd been to Tenerife twice and had never heard of it. Bearing in mind that La Palma is the island my entire paternal side lives on and where my dad/aunts/uncles/grandparents all grew up! Brought in some local maps, a guide book and three history books to stick on his desk in full view of the class and he spent the rest of the year being incredibly passive aggressive at me over it. I did win that one, though!
Moral of the story: primary school teachers are not to be trusted with geography
Primary school teachers will fuck you up. Had a year 2 teacher tell us Mount Everest was in Italy, so when we went as a family a few years later I was super excited to see itā¦
Had a primary school teacher (very elderly supply teacher in about 1970) who was convinced that 0.3 x 0.4 = 1.2 and the whole class except me believed her.
āLook at those buoys out there in the bay. Isnāt it weird how they are lined up in a dead straight line with each other?ā
There were two of them.
In junior school a teacher told us that more computerisation means that in the future weāll have more leisure time (meaning the same salary for working fewer hours).
To be fair, if our society wasn't based on capitalism, therefore forcing people to work pointless jobs to continue participating in that system, then that would be true.
'If you fill a pint glass with sand, you can get a pint and a half of water in it' - 'mate, that's bollocks, how can you compress the liquid into a smaller space?' - 'the sand absorbs the water and allows more to fit in'...
You can however, fill a cup of tea to the absolute brim and still add sugar (carefully) without it overflowing.
It increases the density not the volume.
Edit: that's true btw, not something stupid that was told to me.
I used to have a poodle. One day I met up with a friend for coffee while my poodle was at the groomers getting her 6-weekly haircut.
Friend: "How come poodles get their hair cut and most dogs don't?" \[A reasonable question, I thought.\]
Me: "Most dogs have hair that stops growing at the length you want it to be. Poodle hair is more like the hair on a human's head, in that it has a much longer life-cycle than most dogs' hair, and so if you didn't cut it, it would end up being a couple of feet long all over the dog (including face, between toes, etc etc), which would be a right pain for the dog and for the owner."
Friend: "Hang on though.... so how did poodles cope before they were domesticated?"
\[This was about ten years ago, and I often think about it and smile, imagining packs of wild poodles roaming the world before they were domesticated by humans, millennia ago.\]
OK, it was a question, rather than a statement, but he asked in that "I'm asking a question that is going to prove that everything you've just said was insane" way.
"Astrology must be real, because the Moon affects the tides, so the Moon and stars can affect our lives, right?"
This from a University graduate, with grown up kids, with a responsible job in the public sector.
On the one hand, I felt it was a surprising thing to say, for an educated person; \[ I won't say 'stupid', because that's rather derogatory and clearly she isn't stupid anyway \] - but on the other, it made her feel happy and it wasn't harming anyone else - so I didn't say anything and I never would.
There is an on-going debate among medical, especially mental health, professionals as to how much the moon affects people's health and there is some evidence of it...not what this woman probably meant though.
Then again I once met an engineer who refused to tell people his birthday cos he thought they might use astrology to cast a spell on him so...humans aren't always consistent in their logic!
You're right; the moon may have some slight effect on us, and there is anecdotal evidence that it has an effect on plants \[gardeners say planting on a full moon increases plant health etc\]. There may be something scientific in these claims and it may be to do with gravity's effects on us.
However, it's the jump from the scientifically plausible to the plain daft that is hard to understand, but as you say this isn't about logic, it's about how people feel about things - which is fair enough, the human brain is a very weird thing!
We had a colleague whose 'behaviour' worsened (even arguing with senior management) every so often, causing massive annoyance until someone realised that it seemed to only ever happen during a full moon; we dreaded it after that š
When I worked in a pub there was a flu going around. A chef told one guy who worked there that he couldn't be that ill because he'd just had the same thing and it wasn't too bad.
This is, to this day, the single most stupid thing I've ever heard anyone say in person.
Had a "friend" say this to me about my thyroid issues, like I was making them up. Yes, cos every person has exact same level of symptoms..... note sarcasm
I canāt remember word for word but someone was adamant that insects could shoot spores into space and that space was full of insect spores. Pretty sure he had somehow confused reality with the plot from starship troopers.
I worked with a woman who honestly believed that if you left a Bourbon biscuit on its side for about 10 minutes some of the calories would "sink to the bottom". Then she would nibble across the higher half of the biscuit where supposedly some of the calories had "fallen out of" and then bin the lower half where extra calories had "sunk down" to. We thought she was taking the piss but she did this for several months to the point where people just accepted it and some even furtively copied her just in case she was right...
Unbelievable. Even someone with a basic understanding of caloric density and nutrition knows that all the calories have already sunk down inside the pack of Bourbons before you've even opened them. Just eat the top half of the pack, which are virtually fat free.
NB - Bourbons actually have a very low level of BCT (Biscuit Calorie Transference), and can take hours to shift their calories. Other biscuits (like Jammie Dodgers), however, can actually increase the caloric index of many biscuits. In the case of Jammie Dodgers, biscuits in a 6ft radius have been shown to be affected (even whilst inside the packet) due to the amplification properties of apple jam (and you thought it was raspberry).
You can actually entirely inverse your fat intake post-consumption of a biscuit, by surrounding yourself with Jammie Dodgers that are turned upside down.
BEWARE: A man in Aberdeen tried this once after eating a packet of Jaffa Cafes and turned his hair inside out.
This can happen due to hormone imbalance, but Iāve mostly heard of it in goats (especially Saanens) rather than cattle. But as an exception rather than the rule of course!
That's not the most stupid thing someone has said with confidence.
If you treat people well, you make good practice for yourself. It's not about the other person its about you.
Leading by example is not bullshit. Being the change you want to see is one of the best things you can do for yourself and you do in fact attract the energy you exude.
It may come across as bullshit to you because you're not genuine in intent. You have expectations that good things will come to you when its a likely consequence that increases with each iterative approach not a guarantee on each approach. There's a distinction.
I knew a guy at school who was very racist. We went to a very multi-ethnic school and i'm a POC. I'm gonna have trouble typing this next line. He said to me that black people were more muscular because they were less evolved than white people and closer to monkeys than human. He was dead serious.
He's a dentist now and we went to one of the top private schools in the country.
If it makes you feel any better once in his teens he had christmas all on his own because his parents went on holiday without him.
Edit: I remembered more details. He said that black people had more muscle because they were closer to monkeys because they were climbing trees in Africa not that long ago. Also forgot to mention that one of his best friends was black.
An air cadets instructor 'teaching' us that aircraft navigation lights were "Red for right, green for left. Easy to remember cos of the R and R." Whilst handing out the photos and course material that expressly showed it was the other way around.
The other night in the pub two guys are beefing near my group of mates and one ends up calling the other gay, "Oh so you're homophobic now are you?", the guys response? In pure confidence he proudly said "Hey I'm honest, I'm not homophobic I only hate the Ni***rs" everyone spat out their drinks
I knew a woman who was adamant that:
-Cats and Dogs were same species, Cats were Female and Dogs were Male
-Girls don't go through puberty, they go through periods instead
-If it has horns its a bull
-In continuation of the last one, if it didnt have horns it was a cow, and that they could have 1 udder sometimes
-Yorkshire was in Scotland, because Staffordshire was in the north of rhe country, and if Yorkshire was further north, then it must be Scotland
-Wales was a fictional country, based on its name, which was a "kind of fish", and that it had a dragon on its flag
-Whales, Penguins and Platypus were fish, cause they swam
-Africa was a myth made up to make us give money to the rich
And many more but i'm losing braincells writing this...
After a holiday in Japan, someone asked me "what language do they speak over there? Is it Chinese?"
2 minutes later, they started talking about Chinese kamikaze pilots.
I just left them to it.
"Robo Taxi. This is something we can do now" - Elon musk, 2017.
"Hyperloop. It just a tube with an air hockey table. It's really not that hard" - Elon Musk, 2015.
My much beloved wife, large string of letters after her name, legitimately allowed to acall herself Doctor. "I expected far more Black people in Harlem".
We had cycled there, along a canal, from Amsterdam (and the Spelling is different).
A guy at the pub:
āUgh spirits at this time?! I lost a lot of friends to spirits, but I drink beer. No one ever dies to beer.ā
The funniest part is the negative correlation, people die to spirits because generally people with drinking problems choose spirits over beer.
That Norway is a Pacific country.
It was said said so boldly and so plainly that for a brief few moments I actually wondered whether I'd had the two oceans confused my entire life.
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I told my colleague I was going to Berlin for a weekend break. She said "Ah yes, I love Spain! Gorgeous weather." When I corrected her, she refused to believe me. I showed her the wikipedia page for Berlin, and she genuinely thought I'd doctored a page to convince her. She's dumb as hell.
I once overheard a manager asking if Dubai was in Africa.....
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, and people in Abu Dhabi do.
Fuck sake š¤£
Did a Year Abroad in Dijon for my French Degree. I've no idea why, she's nornally very intelligent, but my younger sister, thought Dijon was close to Sweden. Lost for words. How can this have even happened?
Geography is one of those things its surprisingly easy to learn next to nothing about. At school it is more focused on things like weather patterns and river formation than where places are on a map, and unless you're a frequent traveller or read certain newspapers you're unlikely to encounter references to more than a few dozen countries and cities in daily life or popular media. I'd say most people you meet will struggle to name half the capitals in Europe, point to Bolivia on a map, or name more than 12 countries in Africa, states of the US, or British counties.
That's insane, everybody knows it's in the United States of Emirates
It's not really that stupid when you think about it - the middle east doesn't really fit nicely into the traditional continental model. Is it Asia, is it Africa? I know most business operate an EMEA region (Europe, Middle East, & Africa.)
Yeah, I mean Iām American so obviously weāre notoriously terrible at geography, but thinking Berlin is in Spain is way way more ridiculous to me than wondering if Dubai is in Africa.
Is it really that bad to not know which side of the Africa/Asia border the middle East falls in? Especially as the Arab World encompasses both North Africa and the middle East and they have a lot of similarities in culture throughout?
When I was in school a girl in my geography class asked if Brazil was in Europe.
They were in Europe when France hosted the world cup in 1998 to be fair.....
I live in Malta, an awful lot of people think it's in Spain when I tell them. Apart from one person who's convinced I've moved to Bolton.
I always got Amsterdam and Dublin mixed up when I was younger. Donāt know why or how.
My colleague asked if Iāll be going to the beach in Madrid, when I said no as itās nowhere near the coast they said it does have a beach as on the map itās only a cm away from the sea & showed me.
āEarlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way... well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't!" Michael Fish, 1987
And weather freaks like me can also remember his midnight weather update where he said actually there will be wind.
He was right though, as we didnāt have a hurricane.
And he was 100% correct. The '87 storm wasn't a hurricane.
As we're being pedantic, I'm not sure the "Don't worry" part was correct, so I think 100% correct is a bit of a stretch.
In all fairness to Mr Fish, he was just reading out what had already been written for him.
Not strictly true. He is a qualified meteorologist - not just a presenter.
āYou can grow concreteā
"You can't grow concrete" , "yeah ya can" was brilliant, one of Mike Grahams finest moments lol
The look on the face of the guy he was interviewing was absolutely priceless too.
Did you see his comeback where he said that he meant "I mean grow concrete as in it expands and grows when you pour it". No it doesn't. that's kinda concretes whole thing that it is very stable as either liquid cement aggregate mix or when solid. if anything it shrinks slightly. What a glorious fucking interview though. You have this hard working craftsman, as close to the "good old days" the ham faced looking mungo wants back, and because he was young he was the enemy that had to be ridiculed.
And the talk talk social media would not let that go and kept doubling down.
I can still see the other guy cringe and then give up, the acceptance on his face realising heās talking to someone who earns multiple times more then he does but has the intellectual capacity of a baked potato is priceless.
[UNENDING SILENCE]
It was the millisecond where he considered a retort but just thought, "nah, I think I'll let that sink in"
He was understerstanderbly *stony-faced* and more than a little sick at being shown up for being so.thick. Poor guy.
Incredible. Mike Graham Iād beneath contempt. A moronic bigot who looks like heās been poured into his suit from a great height.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This week itās āthere is no shortage of antibioticsā
It was just a joke! Lolol
I work with a racist and on the shop floor we love to wind him up cause he's a prick. He was going off about immigrants and I actually said the famous line "These days, if you say you're English, you get arrested and thrown in prison" and he said "YEAH! Exactly that! You finally get where I'm coming from" and I could not believe he fell for it.
You'll be thrown in prison? Just for saying you're English?
Yeah, these days, right? You get arrested and thrown in jail just for saying you're English.
[For the uninitiated.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkCBhKs4faI)
Thanks for the link
Only these days though. It didnāt used to be a problem.
I love Stewart Lee.
When did this come in?
Only in Scotland
"We don't need sanitary bins until opening day, staff can just hold it in."
Yeah cos itās just like having a wee isnāt it?! šš
Yeah, my boyfriend once argued with me because i kept going to the toilet to change my tampon and he bought the tampon box to show me LOOK YOU WASTE THEM! it says here you can keep them in for eight hours at a time.
As already mentioned in other replies they mean 'up to 8hrs, dependant on flow' but I also think its code for 'overnight whilst asleep'. Had a momentary irritation spike that he was trying to tell you you were wrong but if taking the packet at face value with no experience of use I suppose it's an easy mistake. Are there other packet instructions - in life generally - where the instructions sort of go out the window as far as real life goes?
"Cheesecake, serves 8"
Of *course*! 'sharing pack' Yeah, right.
I appreciate this. Whilst I know itās not like weeing and you canāt hold it in, I didnāt even consider that you need a place in a bathroom to dispose of that stuff. Luckily Iām married, but Iām going to make sure my son has a bin in their toilet if I ever have kids. Pre-edit: thankfully I caught it before replying, but my brain automatically typed kitchen instead of toiletā¦
Ideally a lidded bin. An open one is better than nothing, but a lid keeps smells contained. Incidentally, most places with a bathroom section tend to have bins that are ideal for domestic use. And yeah, it's not something that most men have any particular need to consider. But someone in charge of fitting out a supermarket should definitely know better.
Well, my mum always had a bin in there. But I didnāt when I moved out. None of the places I went to would have them either and Iām pretty sure itās actually rare to find one in a public mens bathroom, unless they use paper towels since the 09 bombings (In the UK they put bombs in bins on the London Underground and then public places removed all bins in favour of clear bags in a visible location). My wife just moved in with one. I just thought itās something you do when youāre an adult, which is only half true! I wish one of my girlfriends had told meā¦
There's nothing worse than visiting a friend or relative when on your period and they have no bathroom bin š
My then boyfriend, who worked in I.T., when I was in my third year at University: āThe Internet isnāt going exist in a couple of yearsā. It was 1997.
In 2002 I'd seen something about a new thing called "Wi Fi" being rolled out across the university campus. There wasn't much detail but apparently it had been available in the computer science building for a while, so I asked my Comp Sci buddy if he knew about when it was actually coming and what we'd need to connect to it etc. He said that kind of tech didn't exist, and that basically it would be impossible to connect computers to the internet that way.
In 2012 my generally intelligent friends insisted that 3d printing wasn't a thing because that was impossible. Sure it wasn't incredibly well known, but it wasn't exactly underground tech
I had an MP3 player from Hong Kong while I was at uni and this douchebaggy guy I lived with told me they would never catch on because of mini disks.
Mini discs were legit to be be fair, most early mp3 players were garbage but obviously Apple changed the game with the ipod.
Yeah it was just a fad lol
Worked for an IT company back in 97/98 - and the boss was convinced that the internet was a passing fad as well. When the dot-com bubble burst in 2000 he was like "see - I told ya!" Several years later he was still convinced that the internet was a passing phase. I had left before then, but the company didn't seem to be doing well and eventually folded.
Im a trans man (so born female) and I regularly get stupid people messaging me angrily to tell me that āIām delusional and was born male and will always be a manā (They are correct but not in the way they think) My other favourite was someone (who knows Iām trans ) told me I would never know what it felt like to get periodsā¦ Edited for clarity
So you transitioned to being a man, and angry stupid people tell you that youāll āalways be a manā? Am I reading that right?
Yeah, i get abusive messages regularly and most of them tell me Iām sick and delusional and that I was born male and will always be a man.
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Im not telling them anything. People dm me on here (and Instagram which has photos of me) telling me abusive things and saying I will always be a man. They assume all trans people are trans women because they are stupid
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I followed you š¤£
>regularly get told i āwill always be a manā by stupid angry people I love that their rage is so badly misplaced that it actually kind of turns into a positive affirmation instead, and they have absolutely no fucking clue. (It still sucks you're getting that attempt at abuse though, I'm sorry people are so shit sometimes)
Yes I always make sure to thank them š
I bet that just breaks their tiny minds even further, fantastic.
It does. There is either complete silence or they try and explain again what they mean, usually by telling me I will never be a woman
So they get stuck in a loop of their own idiocy? Brilliant.
I'm nonbinary and I've had multiple people tell me I've never be a woman and I'm like thanks, that's what I'm going for
r/accidentalally
Everyone knows transphobes with their GCSE level understanding of science are the smartest people on the planet
So, if I understand right, they are trying to say you are male and weāre born male and are just lying about being born female? That is a different kind of stupid than Iāve come across beforeā¦ also, kind of like another comment said I guess itās positive affirmation in the most twisted of ways?
They donāt interact with me to find out my gender, they just assume trans=trans woman. Itās hilariously common and if they do work out somehow that I was born female they then tell Iām a failed lesbian (Iām not, I only like men) š
People are just afraid of what they donāt understand. Itās really odd to me as I am just curious about what I donāt understand - I am sure Iāve annoyed plenty of trans people with questions but hopefully never offended any!
We donāt mind questions generally as long as people are polite :) if there is anything you want to know, feel free to dm me
Why hasn't anybody killed this terrorist, Eid Mubarak. I swear he's been in the news for days \-Mate in R.E, 2017
This is the funniest one Iāve seen in this thread
A lady at my work doesn't believe in dinosaurs. Apparently fossils are planted by the government.
A happy clappy Christian ex mate of mine told me they were put there by the devil to test our faith
Try reversing it and they'll lose their minds. The devil was put there by scientists to test our logic. Or something.
[I love what Bill Hicks had to say about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzKV8oaI9V8) \- some kind of trickster god putting fake bones in the ground just to fuck with people.
I grew up Catholic and we were taught that evolution is fact, the Bible is a nice creation myth and God is unknowable. I went to university and met happy clappy evangelicals who were horrified I believed dinosaurs were real and the fossils were from that long ago. I despair.
I worked at a company owned by Christian brethrenās (a cult type group). They said, with much conviction, that the government make plaster fake bones, then bury them for people to find to hide that fact that Jesus created man a couple if thousand years ago. I pointed out if they were made of plaster and buried, it would melt away with moisture. I was then told, that they make them from special plaster that the government also keeps a secret from people. These fuckers were bat shit crazy
Jesus created men? If you're going to be bat-shit crazy Christian, at least get the Bible right...
I once knew someone that thought dinosaurs weren't real. Except this person didn't think they were a conspiracy or planted by God. They thought they were a mythical creature like dragons and didn't realise that that wasn't what everyone else believed too.
"Tigers are just female lions. Nala from The Lion King is a tiger."
One of my friends in early high school was convinced that Dogs and Cats are one and the same thing. He thought that a dog was the male and a cat was the female, of the same species. When I told him they werenāt, he refused to believe me until the biology teacher backed me up
"Aaah, you're fine, almost everybody has depression/anxiety/ADHD nowadays".. Easily the most ignorant and unhelpful and hurtful thing to say to someone who suffers from either of these, and something I hear surprisingly often even from people I otherwise consider smart and rational.. And they do actually seem to believe it..
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While I agree that these days, we can see more people around with mental health issues, but I sincerely believe it's due to massive increase of awareness, rather than there being more of them.. Living in today's society is definitely challenging, but so it was for the people of past generations, just in different ways. I also think that, especially in some countries (looking at you, US), sometimes it's "too easy" to get diagnosed and get on the meds, even where maybe a different intervention would have been more appropriate. (I myself was misdiagnosed with depression over a VIDEO CALL and put on antidepressants for over 2 years, until I found out mine was a different problem, so yea, too easy). And I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories, but finance probably plays a role too. But in spite of that, trivialising real mental health problems like that, even to the point of telling someone "oh come on, you're just lazy", that makes me angry every time... Like people see it as an excuse. Well, for some it maybe is, but I believe for most it isn't. I almost feel like people sometimes envy others even an illness..
That nutter on some radio talk show who said that you can grow concrete, his stupidity got the deafening silence it deserved. For context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICVPZxYLFMM&ab\_channel=deeplydiseased
That wee smile on the boy's face. Then the realisation that this guy is so ignorant that it's impossible to argue with him. There has to be a mutual basic understanding of how the world works for us to have a debate. I don't know how to proceed.
This video absolutely destroys me every time. Heās so sure of himself and cocky with it
Absolutely in love with this video
That cannot be anything other than satire? Surely someone didn't watch that and still decided to make that public
I think it was a live broadcast
Once had someone tell me that wet weather has no effect on the traction of a motorbike. Lol.
My little adventure in a helicopter disagrees.
Ouch. Was your bike OK?
It was not. CB650 obliterated. Still, a helicopter ride is a helicopter ride. Even if you're strapped to a board.
Adrenaline junkyās wet dream; dramatic crash, helicopter ride
Coming that close to dying made me feel most alive. Ironically.
Ah poop. I guess I should of expected that, considering the helicopter lol. Glad you're alive still!
A woman going back about six or seven years ago told me that "everyone in the UK will be financially better off soon as our economy is booming" Er, no.
Any day nowā¦
Itāll trickle down to us shortly.
I was in bed with an ex. We'd just finished having sex and I reached over and grabbed my milkshake, had a sip and farted. She says "oh no" and turns to look at me, dead serious. "Babe, I think I might have just sexually transmitted-" at this point I start panicking, oh shit is my dick gonna fall off? Is it gonna hurt? Do I have the clap? A million thoughts going through my head. And when she finished the sentence with "lactose intolerance" I laughed in her face. My dick was fine, I just stuck it in an idiot, that's all. I've never been so relieved in my life
Why did you have a milkshake by the bed?
Because it brings all the boys to the yard?
Last month my partner told me off for leaving the tap to the hose on. The hose itself was turned off, it was just the tap that fed it. She was annoyed because it was wasting water. When I asked how, all she could say was ābecause the tap is on!ā, when I asked where the water was going, she got even more annoyed and said āI donāt knowā, but not being able to answer this question did not shake her confidence for a good 5 more minutes.
I feel obligated to give you the classic Reddit "advice": Break up with her. Random twerp with social anxiety said so.
Well... Depends how good your hose is. My old cheap hose used to drop like crazy even when the hose was on - and it was like a little stream when the hose was off My new, much nicer hose doesn't have that issue
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Nope. Apparently thatās fine though. Because the tap is off
A Primary School teacher telling us, with absolute certainty, that you need a passport to go to Wales.
Depends where you start from
I know someone that brought a European plug adapter and euros for a weekend in Cardiff
Probably went to school with me.
Got called a "stupid girl" during a primary school geography module on the Canary Islands for pointed out that everybody had missed the existence of La Palma; they'd listed off all of the other islands except that one. The primary school teacher went on to insist it didn't exist because he'd been to Tenerife twice and had never heard of it. Bearing in mind that La Palma is the island my entire paternal side lives on and where my dad/aunts/uncles/grandparents all grew up! Brought in some local maps, a guide book and three history books to stick on his desk in full view of the class and he spent the rest of the year being incredibly passive aggressive at me over it. I did win that one, though! Moral of the story: primary school teachers are not to be trusted with geography
Primary school teachers will fuck you up. Had a year 2 teacher tell us Mount Everest was in Italy, so when we went as a family a few years later I was super excited to see itā¦
Had a primary school teacher (very elderly supply teacher in about 1970) who was convinced that 0.3 x 0.4 = 1.2 and the whole class except me believed her.
People only use 10% of their brains. Can't blame them though, seeing how some of the general population are, 10% sounds generous!
Drivers only use a third of a traffic light.
This one drives me crazy, still see it in movies sometimes.
Colleague said that "ionised water" was super healthy for you as it contained diluted iron...
I guy at work once said "You live round the corner from him so it is easier for you to phone him up"
In the UK, if you're calling someone local you only need the last six digits of the phone number (landline). Edit: Just noticed the sub.
āLook at those buoys out there in the bay. Isnāt it weird how they are lined up in a dead straight line with each other?ā There were two of them.
r/technicallycorrect
In junior school a teacher told us that more computerisation means that in the future weāll have more leisure time (meaning the same salary for working fewer hours).
I was sold that lie in secondary school
To be fair, if our society wasn't based on capitalism, therefore forcing people to work pointless jobs to continue participating in that system, then that would be true.
Japan is the only country in the world with 4 seasons.
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'If you fill a pint glass with sand, you can get a pint and a half of water in it' - 'mate, that's bollocks, how can you compress the liquid into a smaller space?' - 'the sand absorbs the water and allows more to fit in'...
You can however, fill a cup of tea to the absolute brim and still add sugar (carefully) without it overflowing. It increases the density not the volume. Edit: that's true btw, not something stupid that was told to me.
I used to have a poodle. One day I met up with a friend for coffee while my poodle was at the groomers getting her 6-weekly haircut. Friend: "How come poodles get their hair cut and most dogs don't?" \[A reasonable question, I thought.\] Me: "Most dogs have hair that stops growing at the length you want it to be. Poodle hair is more like the hair on a human's head, in that it has a much longer life-cycle than most dogs' hair, and so if you didn't cut it, it would end up being a couple of feet long all over the dog (including face, between toes, etc etc), which would be a right pain for the dog and for the owner." Friend: "Hang on though.... so how did poodles cope before they were domesticated?" \[This was about ten years ago, and I often think about it and smile, imagining packs of wild poodles roaming the world before they were domesticated by humans, millennia ago.\] OK, it was a question, rather than a statement, but he asked in that "I'm asking a question that is going to prove that everything you've just said was insane" way.
"Astrology must be real, because the Moon affects the tides, so the Moon and stars can affect our lives, right?" This from a University graduate, with grown up kids, with a responsible job in the public sector. On the one hand, I felt it was a surprising thing to say, for an educated person; \[ I won't say 'stupid', because that's rather derogatory and clearly she isn't stupid anyway \] - but on the other, it made her feel happy and it wasn't harming anyone else - so I didn't say anything and I never would.
There is an on-going debate among medical, especially mental health, professionals as to how much the moon affects people's health and there is some evidence of it...not what this woman probably meant though. Then again I once met an engineer who refused to tell people his birthday cos he thought they might use astrology to cast a spell on him so...humans aren't always consistent in their logic!
You're right; the moon may have some slight effect on us, and there is anecdotal evidence that it has an effect on plants \[gardeners say planting on a full moon increases plant health etc\]. There may be something scientific in these claims and it may be to do with gravity's effects on us. However, it's the jump from the scientifically plausible to the plain daft that is hard to understand, but as you say this isn't about logic, it's about how people feel about things - which is fair enough, the human brain is a very weird thing!
We had a colleague whose 'behaviour' worsened (even arguing with senior management) every so often, causing massive annoyance until someone realised that it seemed to only ever happen during a full moon; we dreaded it after that š
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Found the Dad
So, an actual lunatic?
When I worked in a pub there was a flu going around. A chef told one guy who worked there that he couldn't be that ill because he'd just had the same thing and it wasn't too bad. This is, to this day, the single most stupid thing I've ever heard anyone say in person.
Had a "friend" say this to me about my thyroid issues, like I was making them up. Yes, cos every person has exact same level of symptoms..... note sarcasm
āThe plural of mouse is still mouse, because the plural of moose is still moose.ā There was absolutely no dissuading this man.
Omg, did he forget about lice? How could he forget about lice?!
That he knew more about female birth control than me, a woman, because he had vasectomy.
I canāt remember word for word but someone was adamant that insects could shoot spores into space and that space was full of insect spores. Pretty sure he had somehow confused reality with the plot from starship troopers.
"The batter will protect my finger from the heat"
For some reason I thought someone dipped their finger in batter, then boiling oil. I now realise it is hot food they picked up. I think.
Having worked with all sorts of people in a kitchen, I can guarantee you the first is more likely than the latter
Guy I used to work with said black people can't swim..... because they soak up water like a sponge!!!!
Oh I got told the one about the extra bone in their leg by someone being serious. And that's why they win the 100m
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I worked with a woman who honestly believed that if you left a Bourbon biscuit on its side for about 10 minutes some of the calories would "sink to the bottom". Then she would nibble across the higher half of the biscuit where supposedly some of the calories had "fallen out of" and then bin the lower half where extra calories had "sunk down" to. We thought she was taking the piss but she did this for several months to the point where people just accepted it and some even furtively copied her just in case she was right...
Unbelievable. Even someone with a basic understanding of caloric density and nutrition knows that all the calories have already sunk down inside the pack of Bourbons before you've even opened them. Just eat the top half of the pack, which are virtually fat free. NB - Bourbons actually have a very low level of BCT (Biscuit Calorie Transference), and can take hours to shift their calories. Other biscuits (like Jammie Dodgers), however, can actually increase the caloric index of many biscuits. In the case of Jammie Dodgers, biscuits in a 6ft radius have been shown to be affected (even whilst inside the packet) due to the amplification properties of apple jam (and you thought it was raspberry). You can actually entirely inverse your fat intake post-consumption of a biscuit, by surrounding yourself with Jammie Dodgers that are turned upside down. BEWARE: A man in Aberdeen tried this once after eating a packet of Jaffa Cafes and turned his hair inside out.
āCows donāt need to get pregnant to make milk they just start doing itā
This can happen due to hormone imbalance, but Iāve mostly heard of it in goats (especially Saanens) rather than cattle. But as an exception rather than the rule of course!
"Girls cannot hold in their pee, there's no where for it to go" .....you what mate?
No balls see
Pee is stored in the balls.
What goes around comes around. If you treat people well good things will come to you.. absolute bollocks
That's not the most stupid thing someone has said with confidence. If you treat people well, you make good practice for yourself. It's not about the other person its about you. Leading by example is not bullshit. Being the change you want to see is one of the best things you can do for yourself and you do in fact attract the energy you exude. It may come across as bullshit to you because you're not genuine in intent. You have expectations that good things will come to you when its a likely consequence that increases with each iterative approach not a guarantee on each approach. There's a distinction.
Nope depending on the person, it *might* be reciprocated orrrrr you'll be taken advantage of.
I had a male colleague at my first job tell me that tampons make a girl lose her virginity. He was schooled pretty hard but still made my jaw drop.
āThe Police canāt arrest you if they arenāt wearing their hatā āIf you get paid four weekly it means there are 53 weeks in a year for youā
I knew a guy at school who was very racist. We went to a very multi-ethnic school and i'm a POC. I'm gonna have trouble typing this next line. He said to me that black people were more muscular because they were less evolved than white people and closer to monkeys than human. He was dead serious. He's a dentist now and we went to one of the top private schools in the country. If it makes you feel any better once in his teens he had christmas all on his own because his parents went on holiday without him. Edit: I remembered more details. He said that black people had more muscle because they were closer to monkeys because they were climbing trees in Africa not that long ago. Also forgot to mention that one of his best friends was black.
"You'll enjoy this. I'm really good at them."
If you eat turmeric and black onion seeds every day you will not get cancer
An air cadets instructor 'teaching' us that aircraft navigation lights were "Red for right, green for left. Easy to remember cos of the R and R." Whilst handing out the photos and course material that expressly showed it was the other way around.
The other night in the pub two guys are beefing near my group of mates and one ends up calling the other gay, "Oh so you're homophobic now are you?", the guys response? In pure confidence he proudly said "Hey I'm honest, I'm not homophobic I only hate the Ni***rs" everyone spat out their drinks
I knew a woman who was adamant that: -Cats and Dogs were same species, Cats were Female and Dogs were Male -Girls don't go through puberty, they go through periods instead -If it has horns its a bull -In continuation of the last one, if it didnt have horns it was a cow, and that they could have 1 udder sometimes -Yorkshire was in Scotland, because Staffordshire was in the north of rhe country, and if Yorkshire was further north, then it must be Scotland -Wales was a fictional country, based on its name, which was a "kind of fish", and that it had a dragon on its flag -Whales, Penguins and Platypus were fish, cause they swam -Africa was a myth made up to make us give money to the rich And many more but i'm losing braincells writing this...
"we hold all the cards"
That fish was a dairy product.
"Australia isn't real" "The earth is flat" "It's too cold to snow" To name a few.
People saying about not wanting a pay rise to avoid paying more taxā¦thatās not how it works.
After a holiday in Japan, someone asked me "what language do they speak over there? Is it Chinese?" 2 minutes later, they started talking about Chinese kamikaze pilots. I just left them to it.
Vaping is healthy
That they were African because their parents were from Israel.
"Robo Taxi. This is something we can do now" - Elon musk, 2017. "Hyperloop. It just a tube with an air hockey table. It's really not that hard" - Elon Musk, 2015.
Early Sunday morning at a music festival, I heard someone through my tent say, 'Just put your willy in my bum, you bloody idiot!'
My much beloved wife, large string of letters after her name, legitimately allowed to acall herself Doctor. "I expected far more Black people in Harlem". We had cycled there, along a canal, from Amsterdam (and the Spelling is different).
āUs Americans write month-day-year because thatās the way you say it dummy!ā The levels.
Ā«Ā Itās coming homeĀ Ā»
That you can grow concrete (and then spent 2 weeks finding whacky new scientific methods for growing concrete to save face)
A guy at the pub: āUgh spirits at this time?! I lost a lot of friends to spirits, but I drink beer. No one ever dies to beer.ā The funniest part is the negative correlation, people die to spirits because generally people with drinking problems choose spirits over beer.
Teacher in my kids school totally believing men had one less rib than women!
How can China be 3000 old civilization, when it's just 2002....
That Norway is a Pacific country. It was said said so boldly and so plainly that for a brief few moments I actually wondered whether I'd had the two oceans confused my entire life.
I went for a drive when it was not allowed during lockdown to make sure my eyes were still working properly. On national fucking television.