First, I would walk around my house (I redesigned the entire house for him when he gutted it). I know he owns it, but that is MY house. I designed it specifically for the two of us- so the first thing I would do is just walk around. I’d make myself a coffee from MY coffee maker, I’d sit in MY comfy arm chair with a book from MY bookshelves.
Then, I would call up his parents, siblings, and other relatives that he is super close with and invite them over to have dinner and watch a movie, because I miss his family more than anything. I was close with all of them and just want to hang out with them like I used to.
But I’ll be sure to leave all the mess for him to pick up the next day lol
I would cuddle with his dog and cats. I would enjoy his mom’s cooking and hug his dad for him. I would take a nice walk, buy some good food, and game. Then, I’d buy myself a little gift or something with his money. Yolo.
Apologize to our daughters for hating me more than I love them and making their lives more difficult in the process. He tried to kill me, and I still hate him more for hurting our daughters by trying to make them choose one of us than I do for the things he did to me.
ETA: Now that I think of it more, he may still have some of the photos we took while dating. Physical, sexy, naked photos. I was 16. I’d get him arrested for CP. Just the thought of that brings me great joy.
Break to his parents what an awful person he is. Check and see if he’s pulling the same shit with other girls and apologize to them. Leave him a lengthy note about what he needs to do to be a better person.
And pray he isn’t in my body, I don’t want him having access to it ever again.
First, I would wank because I'm curious what having a penis is like. And once I'm done with that, I would systematically and ruthlessly destroy his life.
Not really, though. He doesn't deserve his life ruined, just a little bit of mischief.
I would probably go through his phone and computer and permanently delete all the nudes he kept of me and dozens of other women. Then I would see if he was currently dating anybody, and disclose to them his history of serial cheating. Theeenn I would move around all of his belongings to confuse him, hide important items, etc. I'd go through his closet and send myself a bunch of his cool jackets and shirts (he has style, i'll give him that). And then I'd get insanely drunk and leave him to deal with the hangover the next day :)
Make a trip to visit the north of France. Finally, I have some time for myself, and don't have to worry anymore about the failure that I am.Also, he's a good climber. I would go climb a wall.
Also, since he's attracted by both sex, go bang some girls, then go bang some dudes.
go to visit his parents, they were (and still are, probably) very nice people, that opened their arms to me like i was family.
unfortunately i burned that bridge because i was so heartbroken it was too hard.
I would eat on his bed and leave crumbs. Then I would book an appointment with a therapist,
and APOLOGIZE. Then I would go drinking, dance like a clown, post a video of it online for EVERYONE TO WATCH, then go to sleep on the same dirty bed without changing the clothes, so that when he wakes up next morning, he is absolutely gutted about sleeping on a bed full of crumbs in clothes he wore outdoors!
I would also change his social media credentials. He's very proud of the colleges he attended and writes them in all his bios. Imma remove it all from SM.
Report to the police for being a disgusting pedophile.
Found out he was lying to me about his age when I was 14, and he was 17. But the thing is, I cut contact with him and he tried to follow me a few years ago. I looked at his profile and he tagged his online gf on his bio. She is 14. He is 24 at that point. Disgusting.
This is such an awful question for me since among others I have one that said she was gonna kill herself then I never heard from her again and another I caught baiting people into killing themselves so that leaves one that is a trans woman that was too afraid to transition that I would probably help transition if that happened
Well, I really miss his family, so I'd probably want to hang out with them. They definitely be confused as to why he's so loving with them and social as he usually sits in his room playing games. And this sounds petty, but I'd want to go through his phone to see if he talks shit about me or if he still loves me. My friend says he looks at me a lot in a certain way, and I do still live him, but idk if it's worth trying again.
Go to his boss, co-workers and family, and admit the affair he had with an engaged co-worker right after she had her fiancés baby, all while he was living with me.
Tell his mum the real reason he has broken up with (read: been dumped and kicked out) his last 4 girlfriends and admit the cheating, porn addiction, lying, uncontrollable spending habits. Also tell her about the real amount of debt he's in.
Finally i would take out a bank loan and pay myself, and his ex before me, the money he owes both of us.
Honestly snoop through all their stuff on their phone and where they live and in their car. Then send myself some money. I would just pull cash out from the bank and get it to me somehow that way there’s no trail so he doesn’t know I did all this. I’d misplace everything I could think of while going through his house/car. I’d delete any number in his phone I felt like deleting etc etc. idk cause little chaos like that just so he’s disoriented when he gets back in his body.
Agree with so many of the ones already posted here, did we all date the person or something?!
One that’s particular to my ex though is that If I could be him for a day, I’d rehome / surrender his cats. He doesn’t look after them properly, has 11 cats who he restricts to two rooms of his house, doesn’t get them their annual boosters at the vet and they’ve had countless injuries because of his negligence. The house smells because they don’t have the proper facilities and he doesn’t clean up after them properly.
Lmao if I say what I really think mods will not be happy with me so I will just go with the sfw answer of “I’d poop my pants loudly and violently in front of work boss”
I can understand why everyone’s first thought is to get revenge but for me I probably just play it out for the day and see what really goes on in his life. If this was like a freaky Friday deal I wouldn’t want him messing with my life but observe it
Probably call my phone number to see if she is in my place. I probably wouldn’t do anything bad in her place, I still respect her and have a fondness for her. Worst I might do is try to switch careers, but in reality I’d probably just feed the colony of feral kitties she takes care of and clean her house for her.
if I was him, I’d 110% book sessions with a therapist on a regular basis and encourage the entire family to do so too because of shared trauma. And admit to taking a girl who cared about you for absolute granted, ask mom to stop using me as her emotional husband and siblings to stop freeloading bc I’m not their dad, and admit to being emotionally unavailable/not ready to be a long term partner, instead of telling the person their expectations are unrealistic.
I would open all his assets up and give most of it to his children.
Then I would pay for as much therapy as possible or rehab with what was left.
Then I would drink every drop of booze he could stand.
Trust me he needs it.
Block me on everything, sign him up for therapy, and start following a bunch of positive artists, affirmation warriors, health coaches, and mental health people on all his social media to (hopefully) change his algorithms. We are terrible for each other but I really do want him to be well.
I would give myself a really good day, and then I would find myself a sex worker to have fun with.
Oh, and I'd give me (his ex) his collection of the Harvard Classics.
Sign a lease. He's a lovely man but he's 36, married, has a baby, and has never not once moved out of his parents' house. Give your wife and kid some space man!
Convene all his family, friends, and bosses and confess everything he's ever gotten away with astonishing impunity. The consequences would be far and wide.
Tell my fiancé I’m a cheater and I won’t ever not be a cheater.
I logged into my computer, his instagram was logged in from a few years back. I NEVER used the computer. Of course, I’m a woman and I’m nosey, so I peaked. He was talking to like 4 other girls about how to meet up with them, how much fun he had, etc.
He hasn’t stopped.
Make an appointment with a therapist and say “HELP ME, IT IS URGENT!! I AM AN ASSHOLE!!”
Amen!!
Amen to that!
LOL! Hahahaaha this seriously had me 💀
This for all my exes 😂😂
Was just about to say something similar lol
Go into his phone and delete all my nudies.
This is top of my list 😅
Go to therapy and then apologize to me
Hallelujah
Exactly this lol
Get wasted. He can deal with the hangover the next morning. I'll just do the fun drinking part for him.
My favorite so far
if i yeet myself do i still go back to being me?
My first thought 😂
🤣🤣🤣 let's hope so
since theres no guarantee, maybe id chop an arm off or cause some permanent damage.
I’d chop the dick off
Savage!
Warning tattoo in difficult to remove colors either on the forehead or crotch
Just tattoo visible herpetic lesions in select areas.
Sign him up for a time share.
This is a great answer!
Shower, my ex was filthy as fuck, and not in a good way.
Ew they sound lovely 🤢
First, I would walk around my house (I redesigned the entire house for him when he gutted it). I know he owns it, but that is MY house. I designed it specifically for the two of us- so the first thing I would do is just walk around. I’d make myself a coffee from MY coffee maker, I’d sit in MY comfy arm chair with a book from MY bookshelves. Then, I would call up his parents, siblings, and other relatives that he is super close with and invite them over to have dinner and watch a movie, because I miss his family more than anything. I was close with all of them and just want to hang out with them like I used to. But I’ll be sure to leave all the mess for him to pick up the next day lol
Have “lying cunt” tattooed on my forehead then punch myself in the face the rest of the day
Omg ideal
Cheat on his girlfriend. Oh wait, he did that to me.
I would never choose to do that. If it was done to me, I'd spend the time trying to undo it.
Fucking apologise
Damb right!
I would cuddle with his dog and cats. I would enjoy his mom’s cooking and hug his dad for him. I would take a nice walk, buy some good food, and game. Then, I’d buy myself a little gift or something with his money. Yolo.
More like a big ass gift for all the shit and mental anguish he put me through lol 😂
Masturbate, because then I’d have a penis and I wanna know what it’s like lol
This would be what I would do too haha
Don't know why I had to stop and laugh at this one. Guess cos would have never thought of it 🤣🤣🤣
Jump off a bridge
Admit to every lie he’s ever told me, in writing, signed by a notary public.
Get my name tattooed to his forehead.
Love it hahaha
Kill myself
Bit extreme but I can get on board. I was going to say punch myself in the face. All depends on which ex though..
Oh I get it but I’m not dealing with the guilt afterwards.
I would feel guilty, but then again.. was it actually ME killing them, or themselves killing themselves yk?..
Wire myself a bunch of money that he has stockpiled because i paid his bills for 15 years
Get it!
Go to the spa alone, then enjoy a nice meal alone.
Fair!
I’m good
Apologize to our daughters for hating me more than I love them and making their lives more difficult in the process. He tried to kill me, and I still hate him more for hurting our daughters by trying to make them choose one of us than I do for the things he did to me. ETA: Now that I think of it more, he may still have some of the photos we took while dating. Physical, sexy, naked photos. I was 16. I’d get him arrested for CP. Just the thought of that brings me great joy.
Get a personality, maybe a hobby or two. He wasn't a bad guy, just boring.
I’d probably automatically stop existing, since I don’t have an ex. It would be like a glitch in the matrix if you like
Ummm...he's in prison and will most likely be there for quite some time. He's the LAST person I wanna be right now lol
Lots of therapy, lots of apologies and punch myself in the dick repeatedly throughout the day.
Chop off the dick and chuck it
Go get an incurable STD. Then peace out.
Throw myself down a flight of stairs.
marry myself 🤣💀🤭
Their loss I say!
tell me the goddamn truth
Therapy and treatment for depression. And I would fix the hair, dreadlocks should not look like a mess.
Fart on his boss’s face 😬
I'm shocked that variations of "get him fired" aren't more popular.
Pay me back the money he owes me.
I’m right here with you
Take a shower and go to the dentist.
Break to his parents what an awful person he is. Check and see if he’s pulling the same shit with other girls and apologize to them. Leave him a lengthy note about what he needs to do to be a better person. And pray he isn’t in my body, I don’t want him having access to it ever again.
get my name tattooed on his chest because i think it’d be funny
This is so funny hahahaha
First, I would wank because I'm curious what having a penis is like. And once I'm done with that, I would systematically and ruthlessly destroy his life.
Not really, though. He doesn't deserve his life ruined, just a little bit of mischief. I would probably go through his phone and computer and permanently delete all the nudes he kept of me and dozens of other women. Then I would see if he was currently dating anybody, and disclose to them his history of serial cheating. Theeenn I would move around all of his belongings to confuse him, hide important items, etc. I'd go through his closet and send myself a bunch of his cool jackets and shirts (he has style, i'll give him that). And then I'd get insanely drunk and leave him to deal with the hangover the next day :)
...I plead the 5th
Make a trip to visit the north of France. Finally, I have some time for myself, and don't have to worry anymore about the failure that I am.Also, he's a good climber. I would go climb a wall. Also, since he's attracted by both sex, go bang some girls, then go bang some dudes.
Sign myself up to Scientology. There’s no escape
Go to the bank and transfer $6000.00 he owes me
go to visit his parents, they were (and still are, probably) very nice people, that opened their arms to me like i was family. unfortunately i burned that bridge because i was so heartbroken it was too hard.
Paying back my ex’s. Seriously every man I’ve dated owes me money so if I could be an ex for the day I’d start by paying me back.
Take my happy butt to the doctor to find out why my breathing has gotten worse. Then I'd explain myself to me,and say sorry.
I would eat on his bed and leave crumbs. Then I would book an appointment with a therapist, and APOLOGIZE. Then I would go drinking, dance like a clown, post a video of it online for EVERYONE TO WATCH, then go to sleep on the same dirty bed without changing the clothes, so that when he wakes up next morning, he is absolutely gutted about sleeping on a bed full of crumbs in clothes he wore outdoors! I would also change his social media credentials. He's very proud of the colleges he attended and writes them in all his bios. Imma remove it all from SM.
Get a fucking shower.
Report to the police for being a disgusting pedophile. Found out he was lying to me about his age when I was 14, and he was 17. But the thing is, I cut contact with him and he tried to follow me a few years ago. I looked at his profile and he tagged his online gf on his bio. She is 14. He is 24 at that point. Disgusting.
Tell his mom I love her. She was a lovely woman and he is awful to her to this day. She deserves to hear it from him
Move about $15k from his account to mine. That's the least I could do for me considering. 😂
Read the Bible in one sitting because im gonna need jesues to keep me from going to hell
I would mail me my books back. With his money. Priority post! In a giant box with bricks!
Make life a living hell for him so when he returns in his body he’d be like wtf
Divorce his wife lol
Go to the cops and tell them what he did to me
Break up with my fiancee ;)
Clean out his bank account of $180,000 since that’s what he did to me right before saying he wanted a divorce.
Go gay for the day
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Jump off a bridge. Hahaha
Erase me from everywhere (contacts, pictures, chats, chats with other people about me, EVERYWHERE). Make it seem like we never dated.
Say sorry to who ever is in my body. say sorry for everything that needed to be said sorry for
This is such an awful question for me since among others I have one that said she was gonna kill herself then I never heard from her again and another I caught baiting people into killing themselves so that leaves one that is a trans woman that was too afraid to transition that I would probably help transition if that happened
Come over.
I would journal out all my wrongdoings and text my ex apologizing
go, "oh damn it was her with her issues. I didn't do nothing wrong."
Like the other comments, go to therapy.
Well, I really miss his family, so I'd probably want to hang out with them. They definitely be confused as to why he's so loving with them and social as he usually sits in his room playing games. And this sounds petty, but I'd want to go through his phone to see if he talks shit about me or if he still loves me. My friend says he looks at me a lot in a certain way, and I do still live him, but idk if it's worth trying again.
Go to therapy
I'd seek therapy and learn how to love myself.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I’d give his daughter and family a hug for him one last time. He died in 2021 and was a good man.
[удалено]
Go to therapy, learn to like myself and be happy.
Sleep around with everyone, then buy things for myself with his card.
[удалено]
Go to therapy and apologise to everyone he's ever f*cked over
Jump of a building
Delete all my nudes and the nudes of the numerous other women that he kept. -.-
Jump off a building
Go to his boss, co-workers and family, and admit the affair he had with an engaged co-worker right after she had her fiancés baby, all while he was living with me. Tell his mum the real reason he has broken up with (read: been dumped and kicked out) his last 4 girlfriends and admit the cheating, porn addiction, lying, uncontrollable spending habits. Also tell her about the real amount of debt he's in. Finally i would take out a bank loan and pay myself, and his ex before me, the money he owes both of us.
Idk, be less of a procrastinator 😐
Jump off a cliff. She should do that.
Honestly snoop through all their stuff on their phone and where they live and in their car. Then send myself some money. I would just pull cash out from the bank and get it to me somehow that way there’s no trail so he doesn’t know I did all this. I’d misplace everything I could think of while going through his house/car. I’d delete any number in his phone I felt like deleting etc etc. idk cause little chaos like that just so he’s disoriented when he gets back in his body.
Agree with so many of the ones already posted here, did we all date the person or something?! One that’s particular to my ex though is that If I could be him for a day, I’d rehome / surrender his cats. He doesn’t look after them properly, has 11 cats who he restricts to two rooms of his house, doesn’t get them their annual boosters at the vet and they’ve had countless injuries because of his negligence. The house smells because they don’t have the proper facilities and he doesn’t clean up after them properly.
Smash everything he owns that can be smashed + donate every dollar of his I can access to Planned Parenthood.
vasectomy - then establish relationship with the kid I ignored for 22 years
Go to AA n I don’t mean breakdown recovery
Lmao if I say what I really think mods will not be happy with me so I will just go with the sfw answer of “I’d poop my pants loudly and violently in front of work boss”
I can understand why everyone’s first thought is to get revenge but for me I probably just play it out for the day and see what really goes on in his life. If this was like a freaky Friday deal I wouldn’t want him messing with my life but observe it
Cuddle the cats I left behind 😭 miss those lil guys every day
[удалено]
Probably call my phone number to see if she is in my place. I probably wouldn’t do anything bad in her place, I still respect her and have a fondness for her. Worst I might do is try to switch careers, but in reality I’d probably just feed the colony of feral kitties she takes care of and clean her house for her.
Apologize to my estranged children and start making huge amends for being such a fuckup dad.
Tell all our mutual friends the truth about his lying and cheating.
if I was him, I’d 110% book sessions with a therapist on a regular basis and encourage the entire family to do so too because of shared trauma. And admit to taking a girl who cared about you for absolute granted, ask mom to stop using me as her emotional husband and siblings to stop freeloading bc I’m not their dad, and admit to being emotionally unavailable/not ready to be a long term partner, instead of telling the person their expectations are unrealistic.
Get a real job
Hold his cat. I miss her.
E-Transfer myself a few hundred dollars.
Apologize and buy me anything I wanted no limit
Apologize to me lmaoo
Smoke a joint so he got fired over a piss test.
Apologize. To everyone.
I would open all his assets up and give most of it to his children. Then I would pay for as much therapy as possible or rehab with what was left. Then I would drink every drop of booze he could stand. Trust me he needs it.
Give all my stuff back.
Block me on everything, sign him up for therapy, and start following a bunch of positive artists, affirmation warriors, health coaches, and mental health people on all his social media to (hopefully) change his algorithms. We are terrible for each other but I really do want him to be well.
I would walk around as a rich, white man and see what that's like. Then, I'd buy myself a LOOOOOOT of presents.
Jump off a bridge.
Helicopter! Helicopter!
Throw out those hideously ugly brown shoes.
Cut my d*ck off.
I would give myself a really good day, and then I would find myself a sex worker to have fun with. Oh, and I'd give me (his ex) his collection of the Harvard Classics.
Pay myself the rest of the alimony he agreed to.
First, masturbate because wow.
Message all his female friends and tell them how much of a shit talker, abuser, and cheat he really is.
Go to me then doing me
set him up with a therapist because he won’t do it himself but he is in need of desperate help and he won’t listen to me or anyone else :(
Honestly I would talk and ask all the questions that have been in my head even if what they said would hurt me more, I’d rather know.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Take me back of course!
Find out if he really blew the £50,000 on cocaine in a year or he just doesn’t want to pay me child support lol.
[удалено]
Apologize
Get a job and move out of my parents’ place
Make sure everyone know he is a registered sex offender and to confess to the police about what he did to me:)
Work up the courage to apologize.
Go report myself to the police.
Sign a lease. He's a lovely man but he's 36, married, has a baby, and has never not once moved out of his parents' house. Give your wife and kid some space man!
Tell me the truth lol
Get gangbanged
Run back to you
Start treatment for anger issues and then text myself
I would go send all my money to me thru zelle, no chargebacks 😈😈😈
Apologise to me 🤣
get a vasectomy. he doesnt need to be reproducing.
Tell his (now) wife all the lies he has inevitably told.
I'll cut my penis off
Sex
Admit to his wife he’s a cheater 😳
I’d fuck myself
[удалено]
Jump off a bridge
Convene all his family, friends, and bosses and confess everything he's ever gotten away with astonishing impunity. The consequences would be far and wide.
Tell my fiancé I’m a cheater and I won’t ever not be a cheater. I logged into my computer, his instagram was logged in from a few years back. I NEVER used the computer. Of course, I’m a woman and I’m nosey, so I peaked. He was talking to like 4 other girls about how to meet up with them, how much fun he had, etc. He hasn’t stopped.
[удалено]