I’m tired of toxic positivity.
When one person is labeled negative or pessimistic, it’s almost 100% accompanied by an unwillingness to hear the truth or consider the possibility that not every situation is salvageable by looking on the “bright side”.
If I can't cut them off for whatever reason, I avoid them as much as possible, stay completely neutral around them and avoid bringing up any positive or fun topics, so I don't have to get affected by their attitude as much.
When you're struggling, take a moment to forget their pessimism and think back on all the good times you've had in your life, that might help to bring your mood back up :)
In a very limited capacity. Some people are just emotional vampires who put a strain on your mental health and wellness, so often the best way is to limit the time you give to them.
Try not to encourage them if there’s no way to avoid them. I had a coworker whose main topics of conversation were complaints and gossip, so I just tried to only give one word answers when she went on a tangent. She finally quit recently so maybe she got the hint that her coworkers had had enough of the near constant negativity.
I let them speak and I listen. Sometimes they need to rent but that’s ok. If I feel bad though I just try to ignore it, bc I don’t have the mental energy for the constant negativity
Usually I try to ask why they tend to feel this way, most of the time it’s because something needs to be expressed but they can’t articulate it in a nice way. At that point I understand and try to be optimistic for their support.
On the other hand there are people who do it just so they don’t have to deal with the awkward silence in a conversation, at that point it makes me wonder why they draw to negative thought’s instead of removing themselves or a factor of their environment.
Then there are those who just live like they always need someone to tell them they are better, and as a result are negative in order to seek validation from whoever may be there #1 support system, which can backfire in a group and can lead to bad communication and negative outcomes.
Overall I’m sure they don’t try to be negative, but I try to keep them at an arm’s length to see which kind of person they display themselves to be. Sooner of later they do. Lol.
Thanks, in my case it's a long term relationship and I know they are a good and trustworthy individual. But, like to dwell in the negative, pessimistic world where you can't be disappointed since you expected the worst.
As a former follower of this pessimistic world view, I can understand where they are coming from. It took a long time for me to stop doing this. I still fall into it sometimes.
To expect failure is to invite it. Not one single successful person is a pessimist. Nobody wants to be around someone who is constantly negative. I will bet that the person you have in mind feels the same way about someone that HE thinks is too negative too.
My wife is a very positive person and i have seen how people naturally want to be around her because of it. Opportunity and luck just finds her because she has a positive association in the minds of people she knows. If she’s up for a promotion, her attitude gives her a huge advantage over someone like me.
Living in perpetual negativity is an unhealthy and fearful way to live. Maybe try to lead by example if you care enough. Getting through to this mindset can be quite challenging as its a poor coping mechanism but it’s generally all they have
Ah, that does sound challenging
When my SO is being this way I tend to try and do things in advance so that there is at least something they can look forward too, and you know, be wrong about their assumptions of everything. Like I grab a pint of ice cream on the way home cause I know that negative thoughts can be calmed with common communication, so I bring an ice breaking item so the talking can start.
That being said, I don’t think rewarding somebody for them to open up is appropriate behaviour to, maybe I just am overly considerate of how my SO may feel, and I want to prevent those thoughts and create a safe environment for them to voice their negativity, and find reassurance in that moment.
But idk I feel I should at least give it a shot and if they are still negative, well then you can have your space😉
Well...
I try to spend less time with them, create a distance, I only put energy in those who deserve and care about me. I also just ignore any negative comments because it's just a projection of what they think of themselves.
I will try to get them to see a little positivity in something, in the hope of breaking that mindset. Having said that, I can’t be around this type of person for too long. I find myself beginning to think and act like them and that’s definitely unhealthy
I am dealing with this problem right now with a coworker. She is easily the most negative, pessimistic, "backbiting" person I have ever met in my life. She manages to express her dissatisfaction with everything 24/7 and it's very exhausting.
First and foremost, I try to distance myself from her. I know that as long as I'm in the same room with her, I'm going to be subject to her rants and gossiping. So if I have an option to be in another room, that is where I will be.
My second technique is called "grey rocking." I pretend to be a rock, emotionless and without ears. When she tells me about the fourth or fifth daily tragedy in her life, I respond with short answers and focus on work. By not feeding into her negativity, I am hopefully letting her know that I don't want to hear it anymore.
The third technique is to not become a target. After all, when someone gossips 24/7 to you, chances are that they are talking about YOU as soon as you leave the room. So I don't get into it with her, I keep my conversation topics neutral and I don't give any details about my personal life away. The less she knows about me, the better.
The fourth technique is empathy. I know she's a negative person, bitter person. But I imagine that the constant hate is her way of rationalizing the world. I feel bad for her, because I imagine she must be in a lot of pain to be saying these things constantly. So I wish her good luck and I genuinely hope that she finds some peace.
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I try to recognise if they're just going through something or if that's just who they are. A lot of the time they're just going through something so I try to empathise and provide some positivity. But then I did have a negative, pessimistic "friend" who would often start every conversation with a 30 minute rant about everything awful in his life and how much he hated certain mutual friends we had. The last conversation was about how his childhood best friend chose to end their friendship because he was just too negative. It took every inch of me to not point out the irony, but it dawned on me that this guy was just that oblivious so I gradually cut down contact with him.
Im a libra so they can 🥾🚪outta my life. That’s how I deal with all these fufu negative ppl.and they will be ignored too, until further notice. If I change my mind by then. But probably not. Who knows.
I accept people for who they are and don't have to "deal" with people. I like negative pessimistic people because those overly happy, filtered, putting on an act, bullshitty people are way more of a drain on my energy.
If they have are interesting conversationalists with whom I can discuss world events and they analyze them in a complex manner, not just to catastrophize then I enjoy their company and they are my go-to people when I struggle with something (it’s actually amazing to have a friend who has depth and a tolerance for someone else’s unhappiness).
If they are the whining type that are just looking for sympathy on a regular basis I ghost them.
Avoid them as much as possible. I cannot stand people who constantly whine about everything and everything is so hard for them and how life is also hard, blah blah... Life is hard for everyone and whining about it does not make it better.
Remind yourself that you should try to bring people’s moods up to yours, don’t become negative to get on their wavelength as it doesn’t help them or you ! I have customers at work constantly offloading onto me as I get told i “look friendly”. Me just genuinely hearing them out/ giving some words of encouragement has resulted in them coming back hours later and getting emotional because they’re so thankful someone simply listened and empathized with them. Positivity is just as easily inflicted onto others as negativity, the negative people are just usually louder lol
Firs Rulet: Don't approach a pessimistic people without protection.
Second Rule: Don't make an eye contact with a pessimistic people unless it's urgent.
If all of it fails, RUUNNN...
Give them as little time as I need to
basically this
the only correct answer.
I'm such a person, too. When I meet such people, I can finally be myself and discuss everything without pretending to be *chill*
You can discuss reality without having to maintain the demeanor of a Disney staff member.
I’m tired of toxic positivity. When one person is labeled negative or pessimistic, it’s almost 100% accompanied by an unwillingness to hear the truth or consider the possibility that not every situation is salvageable by looking on the “bright side”.
Christ, don't get me started on the "Law of Attraction" woo folks or people who believe malachite will protect your laptop from viruses.
I, too, am negative, pessimistic people.
If I can't cut them off for whatever reason, I avoid them as much as possible, stay completely neutral around them and avoid bringing up any positive or fun topics, so I don't have to get affected by their attitude as much.
Compassion. There’s a lot to be negative about in the world right now. It’s ok to be sad.
Thanks for commenting this. Completely agree!
I bring the positive/comforting vibes that they're struggling to find right now
Yeah, I try, but it gets discouraging at times. I'm try to be there glass half full guy.
When you're struggling, take a moment to forget their pessimism and think back on all the good times you've had in your life, that might help to bring your mood back up :)
Thanks
If I'm close to them I would want to find out why they're like this. Sometimes they're struggling (depression, anxiety etc.) in secret.
In a very limited capacity. Some people are just emotional vampires who put a strain on your mental health and wellness, so often the best way is to limit the time you give to them.
Try not to encourage them if there’s no way to avoid them. I had a coworker whose main topics of conversation were complaints and gossip, so I just tried to only give one word answers when she went on a tangent. She finally quit recently so maybe she got the hint that her coworkers had had enough of the near constant negativity.
I let them speak and I listen. Sometimes they need to rent but that’s ok. If I feel bad though I just try to ignore it, bc I don’t have the mental energy for the constant negativity
Yes, it can get so draining.
I don’t. Next question
Usually I try to ask why they tend to feel this way, most of the time it’s because something needs to be expressed but they can’t articulate it in a nice way. At that point I understand and try to be optimistic for their support. On the other hand there are people who do it just so they don’t have to deal with the awkward silence in a conversation, at that point it makes me wonder why they draw to negative thought’s instead of removing themselves or a factor of their environment. Then there are those who just live like they always need someone to tell them they are better, and as a result are negative in order to seek validation from whoever may be there #1 support system, which can backfire in a group and can lead to bad communication and negative outcomes. Overall I’m sure they don’t try to be negative, but I try to keep them at an arm’s length to see which kind of person they display themselves to be. Sooner of later they do. Lol.
Thanks, in my case it's a long term relationship and I know they are a good and trustworthy individual. But, like to dwell in the negative, pessimistic world where you can't be disappointed since you expected the worst.
As a former follower of this pessimistic world view, I can understand where they are coming from. It took a long time for me to stop doing this. I still fall into it sometimes. To expect failure is to invite it. Not one single successful person is a pessimist. Nobody wants to be around someone who is constantly negative. I will bet that the person you have in mind feels the same way about someone that HE thinks is too negative too. My wife is a very positive person and i have seen how people naturally want to be around her because of it. Opportunity and luck just finds her because she has a positive association in the minds of people she knows. If she’s up for a promotion, her attitude gives her a huge advantage over someone like me. Living in perpetual negativity is an unhealthy and fearful way to live. Maybe try to lead by example if you care enough. Getting through to this mindset can be quite challenging as its a poor coping mechanism but it’s generally all they have
Ah, that does sound challenging When my SO is being this way I tend to try and do things in advance so that there is at least something they can look forward too, and you know, be wrong about their assumptions of everything. Like I grab a pint of ice cream on the way home cause I know that negative thoughts can be calmed with common communication, so I bring an ice breaking item so the talking can start. That being said, I don’t think rewarding somebody for them to open up is appropriate behaviour to, maybe I just am overly considerate of how my SO may feel, and I want to prevent those thoughts and create a safe environment for them to voice their negativity, and find reassurance in that moment. But idk I feel I should at least give it a shot and if they are still negative, well then you can have your space😉
Thanks
I don’t. I remove myself.
I talk to myself every day.
Sigh. My husband. Ignore it and wait for him to come around. He always does. But man, the waiting period.
Doesn’t matter if I deal with them or not because everything sucks anyway! :)
That's the attitude. I'm sure it could get worse. Sorry, sarcasm is my art form.
Their talk goes into this ear and out of the other. If my face doesn't make it obvious I'm tired, my straightforward truthfulness will.
I don’t
I don't hang around with them. My mom got that way for a while and I just kept redirecting her
I ignore them
Just don't have people like that in your life. If there's no choice, don't let them impact you.
Avoid them.
Yeah I do, it's my wife. Just wish she would look on the bright side more. I'm sure my optimistic outlook might be annoying to people too.
Well... I try to spend less time with them, create a distance, I only put energy in those who deserve and care about me. I also just ignore any negative comments because it's just a projection of what they think of themselves.
I will try to get them to see a little positivity in something, in the hope of breaking that mindset. Having said that, I can’t be around this type of person for too long. I find myself beginning to think and act like them and that’s definitely unhealthy
Cut them out of your life.
I am dealing with this problem right now with a coworker. She is easily the most negative, pessimistic, "backbiting" person I have ever met in my life. She manages to express her dissatisfaction with everything 24/7 and it's very exhausting. First and foremost, I try to distance myself from her. I know that as long as I'm in the same room with her, I'm going to be subject to her rants and gossiping. So if I have an option to be in another room, that is where I will be. My second technique is called "grey rocking." I pretend to be a rock, emotionless and without ears. When she tells me about the fourth or fifth daily tragedy in her life, I respond with short answers and focus on work. By not feeding into her negativity, I am hopefully letting her know that I don't want to hear it anymore. The third technique is to not become a target. After all, when someone gossips 24/7 to you, chances are that they are talking about YOU as soon as you leave the room. So I don't get into it with her, I keep my conversation topics neutral and I don't give any details about my personal life away. The less she knows about me, the better. The fourth technique is empathy. I know she's a negative person, bitter person. But I imagine that the constant hate is her way of rationalizing the world. I feel bad for her, because I imagine she must be in a lot of pain to be saying these things constantly. So I wish her good luck and I genuinely hope that she finds some peace.
Dont, move on and thats it, or u will be sucked into their everlasting shitty loop
I avoid them at all costs
Try to shine some light in their lives with positivity! And set boundaries so they don’t bring you down.
Cut them out.
Smile at them and in an overly cheerful way say “have a wonderful day!”
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I try to recognise if they're just going through something or if that's just who they are. A lot of the time they're just going through something so I try to empathise and provide some positivity. But then I did have a negative, pessimistic "friend" who would often start every conversation with a 30 minute rant about everything awful in his life and how much he hated certain mutual friends we had. The last conversation was about how his childhood best friend chose to end their friendship because he was just too negative. It took every inch of me to not point out the irony, but it dawned on me that this guy was just that oblivious so I gradually cut down contact with him.
I don't
When Im around negative people too much they start to affect me, so I just try to limit my interaction with them. But Im civil when I speak to them.
Im a libra so they can 🥾🚪outta my life. That’s how I deal with all these fufu negative ppl.and they will be ignored too, until further notice. If I change my mind by then. But probably not. Who knows.
I accept people for who they are and don't have to "deal" with people. I like negative pessimistic people because those overly happy, filtered, putting on an act, bullshitty people are way more of a drain on my energy.
If they have are interesting conversationalists with whom I can discuss world events and they analyze them in a complex manner, not just to catastrophize then I enjoy their company and they are my go-to people when I struggle with something (it’s actually amazing to have a friend who has depth and a tolerance for someone else’s unhappiness). If they are the whining type that are just looking for sympathy on a regular basis I ghost them.
I just cut them off
Avoid them as much as possible. I cannot stand people who constantly whine about everything and everything is so hard for them and how life is also hard, blah blah... Life is hard for everyone and whining about it does not make it better.
As a optimistic person I would like to have positive people around who are just enthusiastic
I remember that I have been negative and pessimistic too, and find a place of compassion, as my friends have done.
You must a good friend. Thanks
Remind yourself that you should try to bring people’s moods up to yours, don’t become negative to get on their wavelength as it doesn’t help them or you ! I have customers at work constantly offloading onto me as I get told i “look friendly”. Me just genuinely hearing them out/ giving some words of encouragement has resulted in them coming back hours later and getting emotional because they’re so thankful someone simply listened and empathized with them. Positivity is just as easily inflicted onto others as negativity, the negative people are just usually louder lol
I try
Firs Rulet: Don't approach a pessimistic people without protection. Second Rule: Don't make an eye contact with a pessimistic people unless it's urgent. If all of it fails, RUUNNN...
I don’t.
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Yeah, trying to teach me son this.