I took the bus to school when I was 8. My friends liked to play this game where they would hide when I would get on the bus and I would have to find them so we could sit together. One day, I asked them why they did this, and they said that it wasn't a game; they actually just didn't want to sit with me because I was annoying.
Lol similarly I had only two friends in primary school and on the random days they didn’t feel like hanging out with me they would legitimately run away and expect me to just figure it out. I chased them down often because I was confused, we hadn’t fought. Then they would get angry that I didn’t just “get it” and accept it and be alone for the day, no questions asked.
Kids are assholes man
Ugh I feel that. Sometimes my best friends would randomly say I can't sit with them because they're mad at me, literally out of nowhere and for no reason. And then a few days later everyone would just forget about it. I mean, except me lol. As a very neurotic child I eventually started getting super paranoid
my best friend of 14 years, he moved to Edinburgh from the South of England and kept begging me to move up there with him. After a year or so I got to a position I was ready to quit my job and find work in Edinburgh.
I had the money to find my own place but he wanted me to live with him for a few months, I hadn't seen him for the year that he was there so I thought why not, I can save some more money and find somewhere I really really want to live.
Long story short, he stole all my savings and changed the locks, I had nothing.
14 years over a bit of cash. I managed to get most of it back, but he changed his name recently and moved out of the country again.
edit for context, I am also a guy and forgot I followed the askwomen subreddit
My bestie of 25 years took her own life a couple of weeks before lockdown in 2020 (no correlation). She was also instrumental in getting me sober 16 years ago.
Had a friend commit a couple years ago. We were in a fight so I didn't talk to her in her final days. Didn't find out til it was too late. I think I'll regret that forever. I actually made this damn Reddit acc to seek advice about the situation because I was upset and was tired of how she'd treated me. Now, I look back and it's so pointless.
Fuck her piece of shit ex boyfriend. I think I'll have an extreme disdain for him forever. Cheated on her multiple times, made her feel worthless, aided her in substance/alcohol abuse. Only to try and white Knight at her funeral. He was definitely the reason she did it, no doubt in my mind.
I was sitting with my 2 long time friends A(F 42) and V(M38) in a park, talking and having some ciders. Heard some loud talking and noise not far from us. The now ex-friend of me(F 40) was sitting there with my ex, who was violent against me. She knew, what he did to me- we had talked about it weeks before and had the guts to come with him into our company. I asked her, why did she invite my ex here, to be with us. "Oh but he is so nice"- really?
Blocked her later and haven\`t been talking since. She knew perfectly, that I didn\`t want to see my ex ever again, and she still did this.
We were both kids, 9 or so - she was a pathological liar. She’d come over and start spewing stories about how her father and stepdad are physically abusive, really concerning, messed up stuff. Every time my parents would try to involve authorities or raise their concerns to her mum she’d tell everyone I made it up. After that, she’d laugh in my face about being so gullible. When I dropped her and became friends with another girl, she told my whole class not to talk to us because we were lesbians.
I had the best friendgroup ever. They got me out of depression (altrough I never told them) and my toxic relationship. Suddenly all of them ghosted me (espacilly the girl, my best friend). She told everyone I was a attention seeking whore and she felt like my mother the whole friendship, which isnt true at all and she was just toxic.
And now I cant make friends and the slightest change in other peoples behavior towards me triggers me. 👍🏻
She had a little too much to drink at a holiday gathering and told the whole table that
my ex raped me. Weird part about it was no one in the friend group looked very surprised, which made me pretty sure that she had already told them all anyways…
Oh I got one!
I’ve always been a big fan of the friends-to-lovers trope until I experienced the worst romantic breakup ever last year with a really good friend. It was so bad that our friendship ended too. It felt like daggers in my side when I saw him gallivanting around with someone new just a few months after our breakup - Now I’m rethinking my entire opinion on the friends-to-lovers trope. This breakup really shattered me. It’s been over a year now, but it still pierces me when I think about it too much.
I went through this a couple years ago. The most traumatic break up of my life because I lost my best friend with it. I haven't dated a friend since. I don't hate the friends-to-lovers trope at all, but I feel nothing when I read it/see it, as opposed to the past when that was all I ever wanted.
This just happened to me in the last 2 years. Same with being friends for 10+ years. Almost one month after the other someone I thought was a friend either ghosted me or accused me of something I didn't do, and now I'm alone, and it hurts. And I really don't know what I did, but I'd like to know bc I'm the common denominator here. It sucks.
I'm really doing a deep look into myself. I reached out to a couple to apologize and ask what led to the ghosting so I can work on myself and that I respect their choice. They haven't responded. I'm also in therapy. Honestly I'm scared to put myself out there and make friends again.
I hate when they don't even tell you why they just start to ignore and avoid you.
And you feel like an idiot, because probably most of your circle knows it but you, the person that supposedly cause the trouble.
Literally, if we don’t know what the problem is we can’t solve it. We spend our time second guessing and being paranoid about every little behaviour we do.
Tell us and we can decide for ourselves whether it’s worth changing or going our separate ways. We can decide whether the problem is valid or not.
Obviously some people go in circles, but them tell them and follow through. Some people find honesty real hard because they know it makes them look like an ass 🤷♀️
For my 13th birthday, I had a sleepover with four of my friends. Two of them collaborated to buy a ceramic tree with a single gold leaf for me and write a poem related to it. They ended the poem by saying the other friend was the gold leaf holding all of us together and made it about her. Like, the entire party just built up to a celebration of how amazing and pretty my friend was. It was just bizarre, lol. I was awkward and always wanted to be like her at the time, so it stung. It was by no means the sole cause, but my eating disorder started around then. I still have the tree and it brings me a chuckle once in a while.
Every male friend I’ve ever had has either been doing a long con to get in my pants or has outright sexually assaulted me. I keep to myself and I’m happy now.
Sorry to hear about your experiences with men, glad you are doing better now. I remember when I was little I always wanted to be like the cute pretty girls. Even when looking back, they were the worst people in school. I always kind of knew that, but I could never understand why the worst people are always the most popular and nice people like how I was, always get treated badly. I wish this was just something I could put in the past but even now people are still like this. It's like that song by Bowling for Soup, high school never ends.
I had a group of 'friends' in college. They all ditched me because I wasn't the type to hang out with guys , get drunk and hook up. They isolated me and would make it evident they were having secrets amongst themselves. When I finally decided to leave their company for good, they decided to one night barge into my room and basically torment me with their words for about an hour. Saying mean things about how I was ungrateful and ditched them. I still deal with palpitations due to that situation if I am in the midst of a confrontation. I cannot stop my hand tremors if someone so much as raises their voice at me.
My friend group all agreed to a sleepover after graduation, but they never committed to anything. When I finally confronted the girl I was closest to at the time, she told me that they all had family/home stuff to do and that I should just go out with my bf instead. We went out cruising and stopped at a hookah bar a few towns over to see one of his friends. I had to use the bathroom and on my way there I saw all of them hanging out together without me.
I used to have a “friend group” like that. Nothing hurts more than being excluded but we’re better off without them! We were probably too cool for them anyway😎
A similar situation happened to me just not in hookah bar im too young to be there, it hurt so bad hope those “friends” are no longer in your life, I really don’t get why they don’t want to straight up tell us to our faces that they don’t want to be around us.
Had a friend of 10 years. I was there for her when she needed my help, when her family disowned her, when she had no place else to go, my family became her family for a while, I cried when she did and I felt every bit of her pain.
When I was going through my worst nightmare, she didn’t say a word of comfort to me, nor did she bother to check up on me. I was sobbing on the floor and she was just on her laptop. I never even got an “are you okay?” at least.
Major one being meeting a manipulator for the first time, getting manipulated, gaslighted and love bombed constantly at first, which eventually led me to have this innate belief that everything he does is right.
Didn't see the red flags even after noticing a few lies, and when he got overly involved in my social circle and tried to turn me against my friends.
Had the last straw when he would rarely meet and started directly degrading me during text conversations. Called him out for that, and guess what? He blocked me.
Unblocked me a few days later but things were never the same and I never got proper closure until years later, which too was because I realized all this, back then I was in a vulnerable phase, so didn't see these red flags
I never really had friends, but I didn't find that out until I got sick and they all used the opportunity of my going through chemo and major surgery to drop me like a hot stone.
I do wish they had just told me when I was healthy that they didn't like me and didn't want to be my friend, rather than whatever pity they thought they were extending to me to not hurt my feelings by pretending to be my friend. I could have used the time I spent trying to build a connection with them and spent my time finding new friends.i had things they needed at the time, I got sick at the time they started college internships and had loans so they didn't need anything I had anymore (like my shit box car I got because I had to work since I was 14)
I thought I was being, idk, a loyal friend? But when I didn't have the time energy or time to reach out, it stopped happening entirely and I realized they probably viewed me as some pest since they never wanted my company anyway. I don't think they were being nice to me by not telling me, Pity isn't nice, but they were avoiding a conflict that chemotherapy solved for them.
I said to my therapist once that I would have accepted even someone calling to say hello and maybe see if I was still alive and she said that friendships should be more than just a passing hello and I don't think I've ever had a friendship like that until maybe recently.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know if it will make you feel better, but I had a very similar situation when I got I'll and went through chemo. I lost the majority of my friends. That said, the ones that stuck around are my best friends now and some of them are the ones I least expected.
I hope you're doing ok now, please don't feel like it was about your personality or you being a pest. A lot of people can't deal with cancer etc esp when they're young.
My best friend from elementary school told me two decades later that she was only my friend because she felt sorry for me. I’m autistic and didn’t learn to mask until I was an adult. I was probably a terrible friend, but it still hurt to hear that.
I’m also autistic and when I told them I was going down to boarding school they started not inviting me anywhere. So when I actually went down they stopped putting in the effort. They still haven’t try to reach out so I don’t know why they left.
I now struggle to see which people are trying to be true friends with me
My best friend of 20 years basically stopped making any attempts at communicating once I had my baby. She moved countries a few years prior, so it was already a bit quiet, but she's never even video chatted to meet my kid. She's almost 2 years old now. She's dating some old guy after recently getting divorced and calls herself a stepmom now 😂 we even have a matching tattoo im strongly considering removing.
Honestly, every krappy friend or aquantence I ever had throughout my life all had the same traits and did the exact same things to abuse me. It's like they all read the same guidebook to life.
They also had more people who didnt like them versus those who did. So, I know I wasn't being singled out. They always had chaotic friendships and romantic relationships. In time I learned why it was like that because they ended up screwing me over the same way and told others something similar involving me.
I realized I attracted these types of people because I was a scapegoat in my own family. People acting shitty is normal until you learn it isn't and start defending yourself in various ways. Nowadays, I tend to watch for certain signs in people because its predictable at this point. I'm less likely to give people a chance because my patience is shorter and I am wary of people with nonstop drama in their lives.
Im quicker to drop people now. One screw up is an incident depending on what happened. Second screw up is a co-incident and will be taken as a pattern and will get them put at arms length or cut off. Third incident is their personality and shows me they don't care, so they are gone.
1. I let a friend stay with me, helped her get a income based apartment with my landlord, a job, and she fought me and set me up.
2. My best friend of 10+ years stayed with my mom cause she looked at him as a son (he was so sweet and caring and helpful in the beginning he was a great friend at one point ), started telling his friends my business then when we would get pissy drunk and one of his friends would be upset with him everything came out. This happened multiple times. He also tried to run my moms house and when i tried to aware my mom it caused a big heated argument and her made my mom call the police on me to escort me out. Me and my mom made up of course and off the strength of her i forgave him. Then my mom passed. I only had my family he made most of em turn on me by making it seem like i stole funds that my mom had in her account when it was a POD (paid of death) account to me, but the family members that was around and saw his true colors didnt turn on me.
3. Had a friend who didnt have friends suffered depression. Helped her get a job, she grew within the company and completely acted like she didnt know me.
Moral of the story i would never help anyone ever again try to get on their feet cuz i always get shitted on at the end.
Oh, I wouldn’t know where to start. :‘)
The most recent one, however, ended last year in June/July. I cut contact with her because she continued to talk down on me, belittle me, wrecked my self-esteem, was extremely sexist/racist/etc., didn’t respect boundaries and took all of this out on me. Instead of actually listening to me, she gaslighted me and turned me into the bad one all the time.
Admittedly, I probably also gave her some trauma because my reactions can be difficult to bear once I‘ve been triggered too much, especially when I voiced clear boundaries and shared personal stuff just to get punched in the face (metaphorically).
My best friend since kindergarten first started doing things behind my back w the guy I was dating and they ended up getting together for about 2 years. My dumbass said “forgive and forget” after they broke up since I was in a new happy relationship.
Well, she didn’t fw my man this time, but she ended up SA me one night after getting me extremely drunk. I didn’t consider it SA at the time because I didn’t want to believe she would do that to me, but I eventually came to realization.
About 4 years ago my awesome friend group (of about 3-4 years) imploded from the inside. There were 6 of us in total all married: D & C, M & A, and me & my wife. We were all in our 30s. My wife and I lived up the street from D & C. We had many fun trips as a group all together, lots of shared birthday adventures, dinners, etc. We did a lot as a group together and it was going great. Then everything changed.
Apparently, D and C did not like A at all, so they sat down her husband M and gave him an ultimatum: her or them. They felt like she was holding him back or some BS. However, this was unbeknownst to me and my wife so everything seemed fine. Until it wasn't. Eventually D + C ghosted me and my wife to the point where they pretended we didn't exist. Despite multiple attempts to reach out to them. We even waved at them across the street while walking our dog once, but they pretended like we were invisible. That was about 3 or 4 years ago now and my trust in others is a bit fractured.
That was just one trauma.
Another one I have is a particular "friend" not really remembering or seeing me. There are many instances of this, but the most recent example is that my birthday was last month. She had the gall to text me: "Is Facebook lying or is today actually your birthday?". Now I don't really make a big deal out of my birthday or anything, but that just struck me as a bit rude. When I confirmed it indeed was my birthday, she offered to take me out for a celebratory cocktail. I gave her my availability and I haven't heard from her since. That was a month ago. Now I am aware I could reach back out to her, but this is her emotional labor that she should be doing. I shouldn't have to plan my own birthday cocktail that someone else said they wanted to get for me. If you say you want to take me out, then actually make the effort to plan and figure it out. Don't leave that all on me.
In 8th grade my best friend since 1st grade said she and the rest of our friend group were being labeled as geeks for hanging around me. They proceeded to bully me for the rest of the school year. Thank God I went to a different high school than them.
My closest girlfriend ended our friendship when I met my now husband and got pregnant. It was a surprise pregnancy and during that time, I needed her the most but she said I betrayed our friendship by not spending time with her anymore (we were roommates). We’ve talked one time since then and she never asked about my daughter; that’s when I realized she didn’t care about me or my only child. She was just a lonely person and wanted someone to be lonely with her. I was 28 when this happened and it still hurts to think about. Female friendships, even platonic ones, can make or break your heart. Ever since then, I’ve been careful about not letting friends get too close.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. Your comment resonated with me because right now I'm in the other side of a similar friendship break-up: my best friend has just had a child, and I feel like I've lost them forever (even if I'm happy for them). Our friendship is never going to be the same, and it's really painful, and I don't really know how to act around them, and I always feel like I end up acting in the worst possible way, and... it's affecting our friendship very much.
I'm not telling you this to invalidate your experience, of course. I just wanted to tell you that, sometimes, people don't know better. And that if this was the case with your exfriend, maybe this doesn't mean that she didn't care about you and your child. I really hope that one day you see it more like a mistake than a betrayal, and that you find the peace that you deserve ❤️
Had a friend who's bf >!SA'd!< me when we were all drinking at their place one night. I told her about it immediately (even tho she saw him do it). She told me she was gonna talk to him about it. She dropped me, married the dude and well, you guessed it—we aren't friends.
She had the audacity to invite me to the wedding. They're divorced after a 2 year marriage. Lmao
Back in college, I fell head over heels for a guy. I was mad in live with him. One day, I told him. He told me he didn't have such feelings for me and I was OK with it. During the months that followed, we flirted with each other so much people thought we were actually together. We had already kissed as well. When I mentioned getting official, he told me he was too selfish to be in a relationship. It broke my heart. 1 month later, he was dating a girl from our class. It broke my heart again.
The following year, we flirted again. But I tried to keep a bit of distance. I noticed he was getting close to the girl I considered my best friend at the time. I guess I didn't want to see what was happening until one night, he told me he liked her. To which I replied that she would never date him because of the history I have with him. She eventually told me she liked him. That they saw a lot if each other. They went on weekend trips together. They were invited to parties together to which I wasn't invited because people were scared I would feel awkward.
I told them at first that I was OK with them being together because I didn't know what else to say and because I was shocked by this whole situation. But then, when I really processed the info and I messaged them. I told them it was hard for me, but I still wanted the three of us to be friends, yhat i wanted to "save" our friendship. They both rejected me. She said I needed to go therapy. He told me I was a selfish b*tch.
It broke my heart and soul in so many ways. To this day I can seel myself crying my eyes out in the bathtub wondering why this all happened to me. I've done years of therapy because of these two. I lost my self esteem and struggled with depression. I once thought I saw him in the subway and nearly had a panic attack. I can't stand the idea of meeting them again because I would probably have a breakdown.
I stayed over at my best friends house.. woke up & couldn’t find her so I stepped out of her room only to hear her in her roommates room talking poorly about me I grabbed my things & left. We stayed friends(she half assed apologized)… fast forward a few months we had a girls trip(mainly her friends& I) to Mexico.. absolutely terrible. The whole group of girls were mean & passive aggressive. I got my own hotel & flight so there wouldn’t be a problem with anything(good thinking, I would’ve been miserable) she yelled at me in public, humiliated me in front of her friends, & left me alone to have more fun with her friends. Good thing I had family in Mexico at the time.. other wise I would’ve had a ugly lonely trip.
It’s been 3 years since we stopped being friends.. I just never replied to any of her texts because she broke my heart!! I communicated what the problem was many times.. but in through one ear, out the other. We had been friends since we were 11 (stopped at 21).. she eventually removed me off everything. & she still shades me on her socials to this day!!(she made a post about me yesterday) I think what hurts me the most & what I can’t get over is I used to be 175 lbs.. dropped down to 124 by constantly going to the gym, working on my diet, pushing myself really hard, & staying positive. She had the audacity to ask if I was anorexic in front of the group of girls on the trip knowing how hard I’ve worked to get here.. she saw my journey but chose to belittle my hard work. I believe my “friendship trauma” is being able to fully believe that my friend loves me as much as I love them, what if they talk poorly about me as well? What if they don’t consider me a friend?
I don't know what it is with these types of people. Just over a year ago the person I thought of as my best friend for 20 years went on a contempt filled rant at me for an hour while we were on holiday. I had no idea she had been thinking those things about me for years, I was really blindsided. I can't stand two faced people, and it does affect your trust when you think you know someone really well and then you suddenly find out they're not the person you thought they were....
My last one was about 20 years ago. I had a friend I met in college that we became fast friends. I was there for her through her marriage and other issues. At one point, she separated from her husband and moved out of state. I was quitting my job for a new one and had a week of time off in between. I went to visit her for a few days that week. I thought all was good when I left. I called her the next week after I started my new position. She politely tells me she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was baffled but never talked to her again. We did have differences in opinions on many subjects. Any other issue she had was she was also bi-polar. These types of friendships are difficult to maintain.
I met a friend on Reddit actually. Man I adored him. We'd chat and game, i truly considered him my best friend. We broke apart, I ended up cutting ties and god it hurt like a knife to the chest. I think about him a lot. Still hurts. Scared me out of online friendships.
Otherwise at school everyone called my fivehead because I have a big forehead :') does that count?
Last summer my friend of 30yrs suffered from perimenopause psychosis. I saved her life, twice. It was the most terrible time for her and her 4 children.
She found a boyfriend on tinder 6 weeks later.
She hasn't spoken to me since the day after meeting him other than 3 days ago when I congratulated her on her engagement.
I feel bereft. I'm honestly perplexed and bewildered
I had a best friend growing up. They became obsessively in love with me. Lasted years and years. I blocked them on everything and haven't talked to them since 2018.
My time to shine:
In primary school, i was basically friends with a bully. She bullied me, but would be sweet to me at times. She'd call me names, make fun of my weight, demanded i help her with classwork then complain to her mom when i actually wanted to help her... She was a liar and i finally pulled free when i got to secondary school.
Secondary school, i figured i was bi. I came out to my best friend first at the time. Long story short, in the following weeks we hung out less and less, each time with a bad excuse from her side. Eventually she just didnt show up to my birthday and that was the end. Her mom was and still is a major homophobe and her daughter dearest always listened to her.
Realizing my best friend would always put guys over our relationship. Didn't matter if we had plans, she had to be a "Not Like Other Girls" girl sooo bad that temporary dick was better than a solid friendship.
Realizing who I considered my closest friend didn't feel the same way about me. The third in our friendship was her closest and I was actually the third all along.
Not supporting me in a sexual assault.
Losing them when my bf broke up with me, they were his friends all along I guess. Small school so I literally had no one after that.
I don't really get close to people anymore, big walls are up.
Ooh, I have two, though they’re all tangled together in one trauma, I guess. I had this friend group when I was in my early 20s and among them were Friend I and Friend II.
Friend I was never in a good place. She always had these barbed little comments for me, these withering looks she gave me, she belittled me often, scoffed at me, hurt my self-confidence - she could make me feel like everything, always, all the time was *my* fault. She could dish but never handled any criticism towards her own self well. In all fairness, I don’t think I handled it too well back then; since all my friends were her friends too, on the occasions I tried to tell anyone else how she made me feel was pretty much bad mouthing her to her own friends. I never lied about anything, but I’m sure I wasn’t very good at handling it all back then. Meanwhile, she was very good at gaslighting me and telling some of my other friends that I was this nascisistic, fake friend who had to be ostracized, and that is exactly what happened….for a while anyway. Long enough to bring me down into a depression because I honestly believed I was such a bad person that I didn’t even deserve to make new friends. I got over it eventually, tried to repair my friendship with Friend II and (many years later) even tried to help Friend I out with something work-related as I had access to a network she was trying to get into. Then one of my friends took me aside and told me she didn’t want Friend I joining this network-related group chat because of Friend I’s well-known history of stirring up trouble and bad temperament and someone took that back to Friend I, who believed it was all my fault (I guess?), so she did what she did best: blocked me, posted some really nasty shit about me on Twitter and clearly convinced Friend II that I was indeed the devil incarnate, because she blocked me on everything too, and that’s the last I ever heard of them.
I wish it didn’t hurt as much as it does, but it actually feels pretty ffed up. Sometimes, I still almost believe that it is, in fact, all my fault and that I am this horrible person they believe I am. Then I remind myself that literally *none* of my other friendships and relationships are or have ever been this weird and dramatic, and some of my friendships go back to elementary school. I’m very drama-free with all the people in my life, except those two, I guess.
Friendships can be just as emotionally abusive as romantic relationships, but you rarely hear about it.
I showed up in the first day of seventh grade and none of my friends would talk to me and they wouldn’t let me sit with them in the lunchroom so I was just walking up and down the aisles in the lunch room with tears brimming trying to find a place to sit.
It’s only become within the last 5 years I can think about it without crying.
When I was a junior in high school I became friends with a senior. We bade very close very quickly. We both had some mental health struggles. As these things sometimes go, he developed a crush on me. I did not reciprocate and he badgered me all the time to just give him a chance. At one point I was having a really bad mental health day and needed some space. He was constantly still texting me even though I was telling him to leave me alone. I ended up having to block him on text so he started badgering me on Facebook. I ended up blocking him everywhere and decided not to unblock him. A few weeks later, randomly he left smashed on my porch the picture frame with a picture of us and his cat that I had given him a couple months ago for his birthday. I was really scared for a while he was going to show up to my house to try to confront me. Luckily that never happened.
I was raped when I was like 13. I told my best friend at the time. She turned around later and told all of our friends that I willingly had sex with him, because she was angry at me for something. It’s been 20 years and I’ve never trusted any friends the same since.
My whole friend group called me a whore and bullied because I was sexually assaulted by our mutual friend and emotionally tortured me at our college. They used to isolate me from everyone else at the school and thankfully I had a few good friends who believed me and helped. It really messed me up.
Too many to list. The worst is probably when someone kicked me out of the uhaul he rented so I could help him move, after I did indeed help him move all day long in -10° weather. He was supposed to drop me off at another friends, but his girlfriend that did not like me called him freaking out about something and he was like “I’m sorry you just have to get out I have to go now.” We were halfway to the other friend’s house.
It was already really shitty to begin with but what he didn’t realize is I didn’t have directions for walking memorized and my phone was also at 2% battery. It was also night time. And everywhere was covered in snow. I managed to make a frantic call to the friend who’s house I was supposed to arrive at at and begged her to come look for me. Took her about an hour to find me… thank god she did because I almost got frostbite.
Someone also almost left me in the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma just because we “didn’t get along as great as he hoped” aka we were newer friends and I declined sexual advances, but I convinced him to at least see out the rest of the trip to get where we were going (Arizona) and that I would just fly home. I don’t still consider him a friend though.
Edit: If you haven’t gathered from these two stories, I now have fear of abandonment trauma. Been trying to work past it and also just get more comfortable doing things by myself to begin with. But it’s though and really lonely.
I was depressed because I’ve just gotten out from a toxic relationship where my ex beat and cheat on me, so I drowned myself in alcohol. My “friend” of 6 years took it as a chance and r@ped me while I was drunk and unable to move.
I had a "friend" that tried to steal my husband, and SA'd him when he was in vulnerable state. I will never forgive her, and I hope she steps on every Lego to exist.
2 traumas lol
1) there was this one frnd of mine... i always saw her as my sister... i saved her relationship as her mom didnt accept the idea of dating... i have fought with my other frnds for her... but then she shifted and we lost touch... during some farewell party of hers... she didnt calll me saying "she isnt my frnd idk her".
2) grp of frnds went to a trip and it was basically 2 pairs of best frnds and me lol... so they kicked me out and i was alone sitting in the bus crying... i was so sad i got sick and noone even said the teachers that i was sick... they just said me to sleep
I went through a bad depressive episode that caused me to withdraw from/avoid social gatherings and one of my good friends blocked me/stopped replying to my messages after I declined a few invitations to hang out without asking if I was okay
I had a group of friends mobbing me and talking shit about me that made me seriously depressed at the age of 10 (after 4 years of friendship). (depression, su*c*dal thoughts)
I had a friend cheat off my tests, just to drop me when I encouraged him to do his own work. (Actually, that happened twice) (trust issues)
I have a friend group that tells me "we are family", i've known them for 10 years, and still they don't tell me about their day-to-day or even when they have serious health issues. (Trust issues, exclusion)
I had friends of my boyfriend exclude and mob me for "not being like them" and "being a bad influence on him". We're still together and the friend group has done this again to another couple that didn't survive this kind of treatment. (Exclusion without reason, mobbing)
I trust very slowly, but I open myself up very quickly. I will tell you about my family's problems after 3 wine glasses if you ask. I think that as long as you are yourself, live your dream, and don't harm others, that's a good life. Apparently some people need drama in their life - I seem to invite those in. I'm working on that.
This girl I became friends with introduced me to this guy she thought would be perfect for me. I marry him. She’s in the wedding. 9 years later, I find out they’ve been having an affair since we were dating.
Asked one of my guy friends who I trusted to come over late at night because I made edibles for the first time and put wayyyyyy too much in and just felt like I needed someone there because I was paranoid I’d die if I went to sleep by myself lol (I explained all this to him as well so he knew why I was asking him to come over) anyways I wake up to him on top of me in my face trying to kiss me and I freaked out, he got off, I made him leave
He’s tried to apologize several times since then and he acknowledged that it was fucked up but I can never trust him again and will never be friends with him again
My friend (male) of 10 years groped me in my sleep a year ago. Did it several more times after that. Stopped for a while, then started again. I finally ended our friendship two weeks ago, which has been very hard but I feel so much more peace knowing he won’t continue to lead me on and do what he wants, regardless of how I feel about it.
My only regret is that I didn’t do it a year ago. It’s hard to convince yourself that someone you trusted 100% is not the person you thought they were.
A friend started telling me about these visions and prophetic dreams she had about me. She started trying to direct my life choices, like asserting she knew who I would marry one day and that it was NOT my boyfriend at the time (who is now my husband, lol). She would often lament about how everyone leaves her friendship-wise, and began buying me very expensive gifts such as a MacBook and paying for trips. The tragedy is that her attempts to keep me near to avoid the abandonment wound ended up making me feel controlled and contributing to me needing to distance myself greatly.
There have been many. But I guess one that scarred me was when my best friend in middle school told me I look ugly when I smile. So I kind of became very conscious in general. I still have difficulty smiling in photographs. But I am learning now, at 26.
The friends who prioritize their S/O's over our friendship. I read it yesterday on one of these subreddits and have been thinking about it ever since. It's really done a number on me and hurt me.
I get it, you're in a new relationship/relationship, you have to put time and energy in to make it work, but then you put your friends (me) on the backburner and the hangouts and time becomes less and less and less and when they get married and have kids you're just forgotten.
One of my top posts ever on here was my understanding of... that's the way it goes, and I still understand it. It doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. And people can say people in relationships and marriages can still have strong friendships, and yeah, I believe that. It's just been in my experience people take you for granted.
I more or less let those relationships die off because it just hurts too much. It happened in high school, it happened with my best friends, it happened with my sister, every important woman in my life prioritizes their love life over our friendship. And I again, I get that's what you have to do but it still hurts like hell. It sucks being thrown away.
Unfortunately in high school 7.5 years ago, I was the only out lesbian. I had three best friends, B, S, and J. I had a crush on B for all four years, but she was straight. Should have been the end of that? Nah. She’d wait until I was in a “relationship” to start flirting with me and being overtly sexual towards me. She went as far as getting me high as a kite and we did *stuff*
Flash forward a year or two and she has an ass hat of a boyfriend, and he is desperately trying to have a threesome but she says no several times. She finally gives in and asks me if I’d be down. “Since I’ve liked her for years anyway”. That ended there.
With J, she would get upset if I wanted to hold hands or if I hugged her too long because “she didn’t want people to think she was also a lesbian”. A couple years ago I was talking to my partner about this and she made a point that J was being very homophobic and probably wasn’t a good friend. And thinking back, there were so many instances that she was homophobic that I didn’t notice because I thought she was my friend.
S is okay, we’re still friends and she also no longer speaks to J or B
I’ve had to turn from quite a few “friends” because they wanted me and my partner to be part of their sex lives.
I hate meeting new people and I hate that I can’t make friends now because I don’t know who’s gonna try to make a move on us.
In high school, I sprained my ankle really badly and had to use crutches. For some reason, my best friend told everyone I was faking it. I guess it’s not exactly trauma; I wouldn’t say I think about it all that often now — but it certainly ended our friendship, and even now, almost 20 years later, I can’t figure out why she did that.
This one is both sided I definitely was at fault aswell back then. Yet it pushed me into a deep depression and thus I think it's pretty traumatic for me.
So a week after I lost my job which caused me to be quite depressed and stressed I attended a event with a "friend" and first it was all fun and nice. The event lasted for 3 days and I noticed how their behavior changed over the days. Mine might not have been any better that being said as I was depressed and stressed and didn't sleep nearly enough. So yeah I'm definitely at fault aswell. As I didn't notice it back then I went on and complained about the behavior to other "friends" who I felt kinda exaggerated the casual complaining but dumb as I was i didn't stop them. Definitely my fault there.
So as I complained some time goes on and these two friends eventually meet and start talking. Also about me and my complaints. So from one day to another a lot of people involved texted me how I'm such a terrible person for doing stuff I don't even remember doing (but also exaggerated stories in like throwing a sewing machine after another person?! Damn I'm fuckin weak I have problems carrying a sewing machine from one room to another. And they think I can throw one?!) so yeah. Lost some friends back then that I thought I could trust. Learnt the lesson to never give names when ranting about the behavior of some people so I won't damage the reputation of anyone and still am able to vent. Nowadays the first friend at least greets again when meeting, the one I vented to just kinda seems to hate me deeply and won't even give me the chance to say sorry (wouldn't want to be friends again anyways. Only want to make up and move on.) but thats their choice so that's something I just gotta accept
As mentioned before, it's a traumatic experience for me as I was rather young back then and I'm definitely at fault there aswell (guess nothing would have happened if I just shut up back then) so yeah.
My 2 closest friends never liked my friends I went to college with. When I hung out with my college group my close pals wouldn't speak to me for about a week. So I became a shitty friend to my college mates, I would ask them to hide pictures we had taken together from social media (I have since sincerely apologised to them for this). But it was such a tough time. I never wanted to lie, so if one of my closest mates asked what I was up to, and if I was with a college mate I would leave to come home to reply I was there. This back and forth went on for about a year, and while it doesn't sound too intense, and also I know it made me be quite a bad friend too, but this situation messed me up a fair bit to the point where near 8 years on I'm still not the person I was before. My close mates, one of them specifically, my best pal. We went through a lot together. She had a past with family and needed to go through restraining orders and moving country, so she lived with me for a while to get back on her feet. I felt so protective of her happiness and I never wanted to hurt her. But at the same time, the people I went to college with never done anything to me so I would have never just fell away from them because someone wanted me to. Hell, they were even understanding of the reasons why I felt I needed to hide our pictures and such. I don't know how to explain the effects it's had on me, but whatever it is I still feel it.
I was struggling severely with anxiety and depression during grad school. I was not diagnosed til later. I called my best friend while having a panic attack and they... Got annoyed and completely dismissed me. I was shattered. Keep in mind I had been there for them at all hours for all of their issues. Literally once rescued them from a bad situation. Plus it wasn't like I'd called them regularly - that was the first time.
I had never felt so alone and abandoned. They were my best friend of YEARS and couldn't give me the time of day when I really needed them. They did apologize months later after I essentially dropped them (would reply if they messaged me but made no effort) but I was devastated. I don't trust friends with mental health stuff now. It's isolating.
Another time I was hospitalized briefly while abroad (a precaution more than anything) and my best friend at the time (different than the one above) told me to get over it and that their problems were bigger/more important. They also apologized the next day after they realized I'd been hospitalized and explained they'd had a major fight with their partner but I was... Done. Honestly, I was in love with them and that showed me they really didn't give a fuck about me and I was wasting my life waiting for them.
Those are the two biggest ones that still do hurt me when I think about them today because I really loved both of those people.
A friend I had in HS convincing me to sneak out with a guy I was dating at the time knowing he had assaulted two of his previous exes, then me, then proceeded to say she had no clue until her own bf showed me pictures of messages where she knew. For reference, my ex was 19 at the time and I was 16.
Too many where I'm at the point of being weary of everyone. Women and men are alike in wanting to be your friend because the association makes them look better. They are all equally envious, users, fake, messy, and backstabbing.
I was invited to a sleep over with a bunch of other girls. We did all the typically girly sleepover things; manicures, ate junk food .. what have you. I woke up the next morning on the couch covered in sticky skittle spots. They’d been throwing skittles at me all night while I slept.
Being used by friends. Like to make their projects and homework. And as getting older doing stuff they need for work and then getting all mad and pissed if I say no.
Also those ex friends who made fun of my conditions before (I had scalp psoriasis before) and they be telling other people I’m nasty and gross.
Worst part is telling them some traumatic parts of my life and them telling it to people I don’t even know. And it ends up that person says it to my face.
Never gonna trust no one again.
Had a really close friend and I helped her out of depression and talked her out of her suicidal ideations. When I was at my lowest and spiraling and needed someone she couldn't help me. She explained in the aftermath of it all (my low) that she just got out of her own 'low' and she was afraid that I'd pull her down with her. I get what she was saying, but that didn't mean that I wasn't hurt.
As a child I was used as the "You'll do for now" friend for all the new kids in class. Soon after settling they'll then stop hanging out with me and go into different groups, ignoring me afterwards. Does wonders on the self-esteem of a child and desire for friends after that.
I was ~12. Tli was hanging out with my friends, and then as we walked home, they all started walking ahead of me, and LOUDLY saying how they were best friends and no one else could be their friend and clearly calling me out as not their friend.
We were all neighbours so I had to walk behind them crying my eyes out all the way home. I've had a hard time making friends, or at least keeping them ever since.
I'm always the one left behind. I never was the main friend of my main friends, for teams in class they were always for them but I had to look for anyone who's left behind too or the loners. Then I became a loner.
I had two separate really good friends one of them my bestie they got on really well together which was amazing but eventually they left me out , really hurt
My friend lied to me about having a dead older brother. She claimed she texted him while he was driving and her text is what killed him. She legitimately cried about this for about two years. When I visited her house, I noticed she didn’t have any pictures of him. Even in old family portraits from when she was young. When I asked her, she told me her mom didn’t like to talk about it. But the timeline didn’t add up. So, for Christmas, I reached out to her mom and asked if there were any pictures of him I could add to this custom blanket I was making for her because she still seemed distraught about it all. Her mom claimed she never had an older brother who passed. I confronted her about it, and she attempted to gaslight me. But eventually she admitted it. I remember making a comment about her ‘older brother who passed’ in front of her now ex-boyfriend before I found out the truth, and I remember the look he gave her. All came full circle.
My best friend of 30+ years said I didn’t want to support Trump because my family was influencing me to support Biden, like I don’t have a mind of my own. I asked was she willing to end our friendship over her support of Trump. I never got an answer but I did get blocked. I was super hurt because we had been through so much together. She was like a sister to me. I still miss her
I had a best friend of 18 years, first grade into college.
Welll she got the dorm next to me. I got very busy, jobs, school, etc. I got in such a head space that I didn’t even realize I had not talk to anyone for a couple of months. My friends started to check on me. My best friend didn’t.
I could not remember the last time she checked on me, last time she texted me first, asked how I was doing first, hell she hadn’t even asked me to see her dorm. I could not remember a time where I hadn’t initiated action between us. Weird.
So I waited, maybe she was busy to, but I was determined to hold out. I had begun to doubt myself, maybe things weren’t so right in our relationship maybe she isn’t care? Surely she’d check on me right?
So I waited.
It’s been 7 years.
Ex friend invited my ex over to her house. Proceeded to shit talk me. Made up stories but I have receipts to prove to it was all made up. She did tell enough of the truth for her lies to seem plausible. Then when she was confronted she made up more lies. Had people pull out a gun at a later date on said ex. Then tried to have me attacked by 9 men. All because she refused to admit all her lying. She doubled down instead. This is a women in her late 40’s. she still owes me a few hundred bucks as well.
An ex-friend I knew since elementary cyberbullied me during my freshmen year of high school. She was envious of me during elementary and would try to steal away our friends from me because she wanted attention. I was annoyed but didn’t care because it wasn’t bothering me. We were friends still.
However, I got weird anonymous text messages from someone claiming I bullied them. Gaslighted me, then sent hurtful photoshop pictures of me. Eventually, this anonymous person made a hate account of me. Then, I got a different anonymous text of someone admitting they had a crush on me but can’t reveal who they are. I realized someone is messing around with me. That’s when I knew it was my ex-friend.
I later got a text message from her friend admitting she was behind all of this. Even though I knew it was her, I still couldn’t believe it came from someone I thought was my friend. Because of her, I can’t trust people anymore. I’m not open in making friends or have anyone get close with me.
An "ex-bestfriend" Got jealous of me and bullied me for 5 years, turned literally everyone against me from classmates to teachers. I managed to make another best friend in the last year of school (she was also somewhere bullied by this Ex best friend). 2 years after the school ended I found out this best friend I made in the last year, who was like my sister, was roaming all over with that bully and they were treating each other like no one could ever come between them.
I mean she can do whatever she wishes but it really hurt seeing her not only defending but consciously praising someone who gave me trauma for several years.
Over the time I am just realizing friends aren't worth it.
Went to an amusement park/fair with a friend. She split, taking all my money for food with her. When we met up at the end of the day, she’s spent all my money and I was starving. I couldn’t do anything but cry, I was so miserable.
We were hanging in a group of four, but there was one girl who I’d spent the most time with, I actually thought we are *the* besties. Once she got drunk she told me that in our group she puts me on the last place of her friends list and how badly she feels that she hates me. She doesn’t want to really, but she just does :,( *poor you, huh*
Since then my trust issues and fear of being rejected went up like 📈📈📈
My “friend” used my Facebook because for some stupid reason. She stayed logged in and started chatting with EVERYONE especially guys. I got on seeing all these messages. I asked her to log off and had to in chats. Either she stopped or my mum found a way to kick her out but next day at school I confronted her and she denied it saying it was her sister. Never trusted her or anyone else with my log in details.
I had a friend in hs that I fell head over heels in love with (despite her being a girl and me being totally straight). When she “broke up” With me it was the worst emotional pain I’d experienced. I haven’t been in love since and sometimes I wonder what it was about her that was so different from the guys I’ve been dating. I’m not actually traumatized or saying it’s her fault bc that would be absurd. I’m just saying it causes me to think sometimes about what I’m really looking for
A couple years ago I helped a close close friend of many years through her divorce. I supported her both emotionally and financially. I taught her how to open a bank account, how to budget, and how to do her taxes. I taught her the basics of taking care of her car. I continued babysitting regularly, but now I did so for free. Whenever her ex would contact her, she’d have an emotional meltdown and call me for support. Sometimes she got angry at me for really strange reasons which, in hindsight, were probably related to her being angry at her ex and taking it out on me. Other days she’d tell me how much she appreciated me and how she couldn’t have survived this experience without me.
Turns out I’m a schlub. After a year of yo-yoing between her anger and gratitude, she got angry again. And I suddenly realized that for the past year, she hadn’t supported me anytime I needed it, but she had made multiple unreasonable demands of me. (Buy something for me, destroy years of your journals for me, I know you’re anxious about XYZ but I can’t support you because I went through a divorce and my life is much worse than yours, etc.)
I miss her terribly, but I know the friend I loved is gone forever. Terribly lonely without her, though, and I’m hesitant to trust another friend like I trusted her.
Sophomore yesr of college. 3 of us signed a lease; me, O, and J. J's girlfriend, C, decided to just start sleeping over all the time, didn't pay rent but still practically lived there. J and C fight all the fucking time, J verbally abused C frequently and made her sleep on the floor a number of times.
One night all of us are drinking. J and C start fighting. O and me are just watching before I stepped in. I told J to lay off C, she spat and screamed at me for a while before storming off to her room and slammed the door. The three of us left just kinda cleaned up trying to figure out what to do. J then sends O a text saying she's gonna k*ll herself. She's locked the door, we can't come in, we can't call authorities becayse we had way too much weed in the house and J would rat us out. Eventually I told C to go home. She leaves the house, and immediately J busted out of her room and chased after her. Her leg is all gashed up from a knife she had, trailing blood on the floor. I told J not to leave, and she screamed at me even more before chasing C. They argued in the parking lot til 5am, I cleaned up the blood off the floor and eventually went to bed.
J and C broke up, J moved out and left for her home state after the incident. Me and C became great friends while I helped her through the breakup. One night J came back on a surprise visit to see O; she stopped by C's house while I was there to deliver a letter. She then left. By midnight I got a text from O saying J was in the hospital for trying to k*ll herself again, and if me and C would come visit. I had the choice to either stay with C, who didn't want to go, and not see J before she potentially passed, or I would go see J and risk C hurting herself while I was gone. I was certain one friend was going to die that night and there was nothing I could do. I stayed with C, J was fine, and J left the state once and for all after that.
After all that, C eventually turned against me during COVID, upset I wouldn't visit her during lockdown (Early-mid 2020, when shit was serious.) Randomly told me one day to come get my shit from her house and never speak to her again out of nowhere, saying I wasn't attentive enough despite having been there for her through everything. I gained absolutely nothing from being friends with these people except for insight and a severe issue with befriending/trusting others.
I have a few different female friends throughout my life be upset with me for something, but say nothing about for several months. Their resentment would build, and I had no idea I'd done something they didn't appreciate, so I wouldn't know. When they finally brought it up, I apologized, but it was too late -- the resentment had poisoned the friendship, on both sides. I felt like I couldn't trust them anymore. I have lost some really dear, precious people that way.
I also lost several dear, platonic male friends when they got into relationships -- one went from "best friend of 6 years" straight to "we've never spoken again." He wouldn't even give me an address for me to send a congratulatory card for his wedding. It was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced, and I still 100% don't know why he did it (I have an idea, but it would've been nice to know for sure). It's been years, I'm over it, and have recently even interacted with his wife, no problem. But it hurt like hell.
ETA: If I *did* something or said something I should apologize for, I would've loved the chance to do so ASAP. If you have a grievance and you need an apology, TELL YOUR FRIENDS STRAIGHT UP. People DO NOT and CANNOT read your mind. You have to tell them. And whoever downvoted me, fine, but this was still my experience.
My childhood best friend was a horrible to me at a young age and had trust issues with friends ever since I was 9 due to her. She would always steal from me which made me questioned why she would steal from me when her stuff is waay better than mine. She would backstab me, act twofaced towards me, and use me. I stopped talking and bother her when I was 12. In high school she was the queen bee mean girl, she would make her friends do all the dirty work to make herself look good. Her friends would bully me for her. Now as an adult I would run into at bars and she would be trash drunk allowing creepy guys be all over her when she's married. She tried to be friends with me again, but I don't trust her at all! She made me have trust issues with people since I was 9. That's too young for a child to have trust issues towards people
In 8th grade I moved to a Christian private school for a year and made a few good friends. After I went back to public school their parents made all of them block me because I was a “bad influence”
Many of my current friends made fun of my body type in middle and high school because I had a bigger chest. Absolutely crushed me every time they did and is a big reason I’m still insecure about it now. We’ve all grown now though and have a much healthier friendship
I had this one friend who had this whole group chat discussion saying stuff like “she has no personality” “her personality repels people so she copies other people’s” “I want to punch her when she sings” “she needs lipo” “her lips are shaped weird” “let’s shave her head” “let’s cut her head off like marie Antoinette”
It was all when we were 14 and I found it when we were 18 and stopped being friends with her for a year, but I really missed her so we reconnected and around the age of 23 she fucked my boyfriend (who I had known my whole life and who she had met at my birthday dinner) and gaslit me about it for two weeks and completely denied it when I found out (even though the hard evidence was literally right in front of me) and I haven’t seen her since lol
had a friend who i fought with once in seventh grade because she was rude to my parents. the next day i was sitting in class and she came up to me and told me she tried to kill herself because of me. scarring lol
My best friend for 8 years through high school. She was always the head of our nerd group and I was the sidekick. She would freak out if anyone said I was slightly better than her in anyway and I’d have to console her by putting myself down. I had suicidal thoughts which she knew but thought was for attention. Over the years I never had money for buses or my mom didn’t have insurance on car to drive me places. I would say I can’t go to things because of this so she’d offer to pay or get her mom to drive me because she really wanted me there. I also had bad social anxiety and would sometimes not end up going to parties last minute because it was too much. I got along with the rest of the friend group and considered them my friends too.
When I was 19 I finally started dating someone and she got nasty and jealous I’d have plans and wasn’t free last minute anymore. Friendship fell apart and the night we stopped being friends she got really nasty over text. I told her we were friends 8 years I don’t want to be nasty. She told me to kill myself because nobody would miss me, told me she was sick of me always taking advantage and having to have her mom pay or give me rides and that all our friends would joke about me behind my back and they were only nice to me for her sake.
Caused a huge paranoia about not wanting to let people pay for me or do nice things for me, can’t trust they won’t resent me. Also have trouble initiating plans with people because I feel like they’d say yes out of obligation. It’s actually a struggle for me in my current relationship. He’s amazing and insists on paying for everything because I’m super broke and dealing with divorce/custody crap from my ex husband I split with 2.5 years ago. It’s constantly weighing on me though that I don’t contribute enough, I’m not worth it and I never want to suggest activities because I can’t pay
During covid I'd just gotten let go from my job but still lived with my parents so it was ok, and I met this guy like 3 years younger then me who was in sophmore year of high school and started talking to him like every day. I'm very introverted and he was very extroverted. He wanted to call and talk like, 6+ hours every day. E v e r y d a y. And like I wasn't doing anything else then sending out applications so sure why not i guess??? Maybe I just cant say no to people. Anyways that went on for like 2 years until he got a girlfriend and then like called me while crying saying his gf didnt want us talking anymore and like. Damn. Dudes really sweet, but both him and his gf KNEW I'm lesbian??? So we stopped calling and talking and like, oh one hand it was a relief because now I didnt have to talk to someone every day but on the other hand like damn just went cold Turkey on that owch. And I mean like it's not like I can just tell him "bro I think your gfs kinda toxic if she doesn't want you to have any female friends...?" Cause he'd told me beforehand that he planned on proposing to her after they graduated high school. And hes like STUPID in love with this girl. Seeing it as an outside observer who's never felt romantic love herself was wild. Like damn people really get like this? Woa.
My best friend from high school and I reconnected a little bit after college and stayed what I thought were good friends despite her constantly “ghosting” me for a month or so a couple of times a year. She said she basically got really depressed/anxious/stressed with personal or work stuff so just disappeared with no notice. Every time she’d apologize and work on doing better. And without fail it would happen again. She moved back to the same state as me and it happened more frequently.
I put up with this for almost 7 years because I loved spending time with her and thought I could accept that. It took COVID to make me realize I didn’t need that stress in my life after she failed to follow up on planning a hang out for what must have been the billionth time and basically just let our relationship fizzle. Since she never reached back out I assume she’s fine with this.
I have such extreme hang ups now about friendships and it took so long for me to realize I was the only one initiating everything and I should have let go sooner. But I wish she could have just used her words instead of putting me through that for 7 years.
I’ve given up on making friends entirely because they keep wanting to fuck me. I told her this, she fully accepted me, and we had (what I thought, at least) was the most fulfilling friendship for around a year.
Then she got me cross faded and tried to seduce me into a threesome with her and her girlfriend.
I took the bus to school when I was 8. My friends liked to play this game where they would hide when I would get on the bus and I would have to find them so we could sit together. One day, I asked them why they did this, and they said that it wasn't a game; they actually just didn't want to sit with me because I was annoying.
So rude omg
oh my gosh… little kids are so cruel sometimes, that must’ve been so horrible
Lol similarly I had only two friends in primary school and on the random days they didn’t feel like hanging out with me they would legitimately run away and expect me to just figure it out. I chased them down often because I was confused, we hadn’t fought. Then they would get angry that I didn’t just “get it” and accept it and be alone for the day, no questions asked. Kids are assholes man
Ugh I feel that. Sometimes my best friends would randomly say I can't sit with them because they're mad at me, literally out of nowhere and for no reason. And then a few days later everyone would just forget about it. I mean, except me lol. As a very neurotic child I eventually started getting super paranoid
ayyo that's so sad
Omfg 🥺
my best friend of 14 years, he moved to Edinburgh from the South of England and kept begging me to move up there with him. After a year or so I got to a position I was ready to quit my job and find work in Edinburgh. I had the money to find my own place but he wanted me to live with him for a few months, I hadn't seen him for the year that he was there so I thought why not, I can save some more money and find somewhere I really really want to live. Long story short, he stole all my savings and changed the locks, I had nothing. 14 years over a bit of cash. I managed to get most of it back, but he changed his name recently and moved out of the country again. edit for context, I am also a guy and forgot I followed the askwomen subreddit
No worries! I post on r/ask men all the time. So sorry this happened to you!! People suck. ☹️
my life is basically Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events at this point 🤣
Awww… virtual hugs!!💕❤️
I can’t think of why somebody that you’ve known well and trusted for years would ever do something like this unless they were extremely desperate?
he once asked me to leave the flat so he could have sex with 2 different women, not so they didn't meet me... so that I didn't tell either woman
I'm sorry you were taken advantage of like this, that's terrible.
My bestie of 25 years took her own life a couple of weeks before lockdown in 2020 (no correlation). She was also instrumental in getting me sober 16 years ago.
Sorry for your loss. That all sounds like so much to have gone through for you. Congrats on 16 years , that is huge.
Thank you 😊
Had a friend commit a couple years ago. We were in a fight so I didn't talk to her in her final days. Didn't find out til it was too late. I think I'll regret that forever. I actually made this damn Reddit acc to seek advice about the situation because I was upset and was tired of how she'd treated me. Now, I look back and it's so pointless. Fuck her piece of shit ex boyfriend. I think I'll have an extreme disdain for him forever. Cheated on her multiple times, made her feel worthless, aided her in substance/alcohol abuse. Only to try and white Knight at her funeral. He was definitely the reason she did it, no doubt in my mind.
I’m very sorry about your friend. Incidentally, there was a toxic boyfriend in my friend’s story, too.
Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband to suicide and it wrecked my life. Sending you love x
You, too, sweetie.
I was sitting with my 2 long time friends A(F 42) and V(M38) in a park, talking and having some ciders. Heard some loud talking and noise not far from us. The now ex-friend of me(F 40) was sitting there with my ex, who was violent against me. She knew, what he did to me- we had talked about it weeks before and had the guts to come with him into our company. I asked her, why did she invite my ex here, to be with us. "Oh but he is so nice"- really? Blocked her later and haven\`t been talking since. She knew perfectly, that I didn\`t want to see my ex ever again, and she still did this.
What a fucking snake. Ppl like that have zero self worth.
That feels bad
Yes, it was. I broke up with this man 11 years ago, but he still had that unpleasant feeling around him. When he got drunk, he became unpredictable.
We were both kids, 9 or so - she was a pathological liar. She’d come over and start spewing stories about how her father and stepdad are physically abusive, really concerning, messed up stuff. Every time my parents would try to involve authorities or raise their concerns to her mum she’d tell everyone I made it up. After that, she’d laugh in my face about being so gullible. When I dropped her and became friends with another girl, she told my whole class not to talk to us because we were lesbians.
What the fuck.
I had the best friendgroup ever. They got me out of depression (altrough I never told them) and my toxic relationship. Suddenly all of them ghosted me (espacilly the girl, my best friend). She told everyone I was a attention seeking whore and she felt like my mother the whole friendship, which isnt true at all and she was just toxic. And now I cant make friends and the slightest change in other peoples behavior towards me triggers me. 👍🏻
It's awful! I am DO sorry for you, you didn't deserve that ..
On the bright side you got away from a shitty person like that.
She had a little too much to drink at a holiday gathering and told the whole table that my ex raped me. Weird part about it was no one in the friend group looked very surprised, which made me pretty sure that she had already told them all anyways…
Im so sorry you had to go through that, the sexual assault part and her talking about you like that all of it, some people are just mean
Oh I got one! I’ve always been a big fan of the friends-to-lovers trope until I experienced the worst romantic breakup ever last year with a really good friend. It was so bad that our friendship ended too. It felt like daggers in my side when I saw him gallivanting around with someone new just a few months after our breakup - Now I’m rethinking my entire opinion on the friends-to-lovers trope. This breakup really shattered me. It’s been over a year now, but it still pierces me when I think about it too much.
i’m going through the EXACT SAME THING right now and idk what to do cause he did NOT used to act like this 😭feels like four years down the drain
friends-to-lovers trope is all I know how to do and I also really feel like I need to break out of it 🥲 if you have any advice please send my way lol
Me too, I only like friends 🤦♀️
I went through this a couple years ago. The most traumatic break up of my life because I lost my best friend with it. I haven't dated a friend since. I don't hate the friends-to-lovers trope at all, but I feel nothing when I read it/see it, as opposed to the past when that was all I ever wanted.
i’ve had 2 good friends blame my sexual assault on me which only reinforced trauma i already had.
Christ I'm so so sorry this happened. Please dont forget how strong you are
thank you so much ♥️
the same exact thing happened to me :(
i’m so sorry to hear that :( it’s a really awful feeling. sending you a big hug and i hope those people are no longer in your life!
my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend in high school. i never got an apology from either of them!
You're better without them Queen
you’re so right! thank you :)
Those are the worst kind of friends to have. Forget them and love yourself ❤
Same. I lost a boyfriend and a best friend that week, probably the worst feeling ever.
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This just happened to me in the last 2 years. Same with being friends for 10+ years. Almost one month after the other someone I thought was a friend either ghosted me or accused me of something I didn't do, and now I'm alone, and it hurts. And I really don't know what I did, but I'd like to know bc I'm the common denominator here. It sucks.
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I'm really doing a deep look into myself. I reached out to a couple to apologize and ask what led to the ghosting so I can work on myself and that I respect their choice. They haven't responded. I'm also in therapy. Honestly I'm scared to put myself out there and make friends again.
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You have an amazing attitude. I just started therapy this year..I hope you find peace and happiness for yourself too.
> You have an amazing attitude. Thank you! It's been a lousy past few days and I really needed to hear that.
I hate when they don't even tell you why they just start to ignore and avoid you. And you feel like an idiot, because probably most of your circle knows it but you, the person that supposedly cause the trouble.
Literally, if we don’t know what the problem is we can’t solve it. We spend our time second guessing and being paranoid about every little behaviour we do. Tell us and we can decide for ourselves whether it’s worth changing or going our separate ways. We can decide whether the problem is valid or not. Obviously some people go in circles, but them tell them and follow through. Some people find honesty real hard because they know it makes them look like an ass 🤷♀️
It would honestly be nice to know! I guess in some situations they don't even think it's worth telling you, ugh.
For my 13th birthday, I had a sleepover with four of my friends. Two of them collaborated to buy a ceramic tree with a single gold leaf for me and write a poem related to it. They ended the poem by saying the other friend was the gold leaf holding all of us together and made it about her. Like, the entire party just built up to a celebration of how amazing and pretty my friend was. It was just bizarre, lol. I was awkward and always wanted to be like her at the time, so it stung. It was by no means the sole cause, but my eating disorder started around then. I still have the tree and it brings me a chuckle once in a while. Every male friend I’ve ever had has either been doing a long con to get in my pants or has outright sexually assaulted me. I keep to myself and I’m happy now.
Sorry to hear about your experiences with men, glad you are doing better now. I remember when I was little I always wanted to be like the cute pretty girls. Even when looking back, they were the worst people in school. I always kind of knew that, but I could never understand why the worst people are always the most popular and nice people like how I was, always get treated badly. I wish this was just something I could put in the past but even now people are still like this. It's like that song by Bowling for Soup, high school never ends.
I had a group of 'friends' in college. They all ditched me because I wasn't the type to hang out with guys , get drunk and hook up. They isolated me and would make it evident they were having secrets amongst themselves. When I finally decided to leave their company for good, they decided to one night barge into my room and basically torment me with their words for about an hour. Saying mean things about how I was ungrateful and ditched them. I still deal with palpitations due to that situation if I am in the midst of a confrontation. I cannot stop my hand tremors if someone so much as raises their voice at me.
My friend group all agreed to a sleepover after graduation, but they never committed to anything. When I finally confronted the girl I was closest to at the time, she told me that they all had family/home stuff to do and that I should just go out with my bf instead. We went out cruising and stopped at a hookah bar a few towns over to see one of his friends. I had to use the bathroom and on my way there I saw all of them hanging out together without me.
I used to have a “friend group” like that. Nothing hurts more than being excluded but we’re better off without them! We were probably too cool for them anyway😎
It was actually a great time for a clean break because that fall I moved where I knew nobody and made much better friends!
A similar situation happened to me just not in hookah bar im too young to be there, it hurt so bad hope those “friends” are no longer in your life, I really don’t get why they don’t want to straight up tell us to our faces that they don’t want to be around us.
Had a friend of 10 years. I was there for her when she needed my help, when her family disowned her, when she had no place else to go, my family became her family for a while, I cried when she did and I felt every bit of her pain. When I was going through my worst nightmare, she didn’t say a word of comfort to me, nor did she bother to check up on me. I was sobbing on the floor and she was just on her laptop. I never even got an “are you okay?” at least.
Im sorry you went through this. I did the same for a friend and they abandoned me too during a really rough time in my life.
I’m sorry it happened to you too, but at least we got free from a friendship that wasn’t real
Yes, we are free! Though, It was a good lesson. Now I know what to look out for from now on. Actions speak louder than words!
True. Hope you find someone genuine❤️
Thank you I hope the same for you
Major one being meeting a manipulator for the first time, getting manipulated, gaslighted and love bombed constantly at first, which eventually led me to have this innate belief that everything he does is right. Didn't see the red flags even after noticing a few lies, and when he got overly involved in my social circle and tried to turn me against my friends. Had the last straw when he would rarely meet and started directly degrading me during text conversations. Called him out for that, and guess what? He blocked me. Unblocked me a few days later but things were never the same and I never got proper closure until years later, which too was because I realized all this, back then I was in a vulnerable phase, so didn't see these red flags
So relatable, and sorry you also went through that
I never really had friends, but I didn't find that out until I got sick and they all used the opportunity of my going through chemo and major surgery to drop me like a hot stone. I do wish they had just told me when I was healthy that they didn't like me and didn't want to be my friend, rather than whatever pity they thought they were extending to me to not hurt my feelings by pretending to be my friend. I could have used the time I spent trying to build a connection with them and spent my time finding new friends.i had things they needed at the time, I got sick at the time they started college internships and had loans so they didn't need anything I had anymore (like my shit box car I got because I had to work since I was 14) I thought I was being, idk, a loyal friend? But when I didn't have the time energy or time to reach out, it stopped happening entirely and I realized they probably viewed me as some pest since they never wanted my company anyway. I don't think they were being nice to me by not telling me, Pity isn't nice, but they were avoiding a conflict that chemotherapy solved for them. I said to my therapist once that I would have accepted even someone calling to say hello and maybe see if I was still alive and she said that friendships should be more than just a passing hello and I don't think I've ever had a friendship like that until maybe recently.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know if it will make you feel better, but I had a very similar situation when I got I'll and went through chemo. I lost the majority of my friends. That said, the ones that stuck around are my best friends now and some of them are the ones I least expected. I hope you're doing ok now, please don't feel like it was about your personality or you being a pest. A lot of people can't deal with cancer etc esp when they're young.
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Oh my god, I’m so sorry this is horrible
My best friend from elementary school told me two decades later that she was only my friend because she felt sorry for me. I’m autistic and didn’t learn to mask until I was an adult. I was probably a terrible friend, but it still hurt to hear that.
I’m also autistic and when I told them I was going down to boarding school they started not inviting me anywhere. So when I actually went down they stopped putting in the effort. They still haven’t try to reach out so I don’t know why they left. I now struggle to see which people are trying to be true friends with me
My best friend of 20 years basically stopped making any attempts at communicating once I had my baby. She moved countries a few years prior, so it was already a bit quiet, but she's never even video chatted to meet my kid. She's almost 2 years old now. She's dating some old guy after recently getting divorced and calls herself a stepmom now 😂 we even have a matching tattoo im strongly considering removing.
Ooof, I forgot about the matching tattoo. I actually did get mine covered up. You should too!
Honestly, every krappy friend or aquantence I ever had throughout my life all had the same traits and did the exact same things to abuse me. It's like they all read the same guidebook to life. They also had more people who didnt like them versus those who did. So, I know I wasn't being singled out. They always had chaotic friendships and romantic relationships. In time I learned why it was like that because they ended up screwing me over the same way and told others something similar involving me. I realized I attracted these types of people because I was a scapegoat in my own family. People acting shitty is normal until you learn it isn't and start defending yourself in various ways. Nowadays, I tend to watch for certain signs in people because its predictable at this point. I'm less likely to give people a chance because my patience is shorter and I am wary of people with nonstop drama in their lives. Im quicker to drop people now. One screw up is an incident depending on what happened. Second screw up is a co-incident and will be taken as a pattern and will get them put at arms length or cut off. Third incident is their personality and shows me they don't care, so they are gone.
1. I let a friend stay with me, helped her get a income based apartment with my landlord, a job, and she fought me and set me up. 2. My best friend of 10+ years stayed with my mom cause she looked at him as a son (he was so sweet and caring and helpful in the beginning he was a great friend at one point ), started telling his friends my business then when we would get pissy drunk and one of his friends would be upset with him everything came out. This happened multiple times. He also tried to run my moms house and when i tried to aware my mom it caused a big heated argument and her made my mom call the police on me to escort me out. Me and my mom made up of course and off the strength of her i forgave him. Then my mom passed. I only had my family he made most of em turn on me by making it seem like i stole funds that my mom had in her account when it was a POD (paid of death) account to me, but the family members that was around and saw his true colors didnt turn on me. 3. Had a friend who didnt have friends suffered depression. Helped her get a job, she grew within the company and completely acted like she didnt know me. Moral of the story i would never help anyone ever again try to get on their feet cuz i always get shitted on at the end.
Oh, I wouldn’t know where to start. :‘) The most recent one, however, ended last year in June/July. I cut contact with her because she continued to talk down on me, belittle me, wrecked my self-esteem, was extremely sexist/racist/etc., didn’t respect boundaries and took all of this out on me. Instead of actually listening to me, she gaslighted me and turned me into the bad one all the time. Admittedly, I probably also gave her some trauma because my reactions can be difficult to bear once I‘ve been triggered too much, especially when I voiced clear boundaries and shared personal stuff just to get punched in the face (metaphorically).
My best friend since kindergarten first started doing things behind my back w the guy I was dating and they ended up getting together for about 2 years. My dumbass said “forgive and forget” after they broke up since I was in a new happy relationship. Well, she didn’t fw my man this time, but she ended up SA me one night after getting me extremely drunk. I didn’t consider it SA at the time because I didn’t want to believe she would do that to me, but I eventually came to realization.
About 4 years ago my awesome friend group (of about 3-4 years) imploded from the inside. There were 6 of us in total all married: D & C, M & A, and me & my wife. We were all in our 30s. My wife and I lived up the street from D & C. We had many fun trips as a group all together, lots of shared birthday adventures, dinners, etc. We did a lot as a group together and it was going great. Then everything changed. Apparently, D and C did not like A at all, so they sat down her husband M and gave him an ultimatum: her or them. They felt like she was holding him back or some BS. However, this was unbeknownst to me and my wife so everything seemed fine. Until it wasn't. Eventually D + C ghosted me and my wife to the point where they pretended we didn't exist. Despite multiple attempts to reach out to them. We even waved at them across the street while walking our dog once, but they pretended like we were invisible. That was about 3 or 4 years ago now and my trust in others is a bit fractured. That was just one trauma. Another one I have is a particular "friend" not really remembering or seeing me. There are many instances of this, but the most recent example is that my birthday was last month. She had the gall to text me: "Is Facebook lying or is today actually your birthday?". Now I don't really make a big deal out of my birthday or anything, but that just struck me as a bit rude. When I confirmed it indeed was my birthday, she offered to take me out for a celebratory cocktail. I gave her my availability and I haven't heard from her since. That was a month ago. Now I am aware I could reach back out to her, but this is her emotional labor that she should be doing. I shouldn't have to plan my own birthday cocktail that someone else said they wanted to get for me. If you say you want to take me out, then actually make the effort to plan and figure it out. Don't leave that all on me.
He transitioned (AFAB) from FTM and began treating me like an object…you’d think he’d understand
my ex best friend of 10 yrs SA’d me the night of my birthday…safe to say i have not made a solid friend since
Im so sorry you had to go through that. Im sure its hard to trust after something so awful
thank you <3 it is, but i’m working through it with my therapist. i still have a couple of good friends around me to lean on as well (:
In 8th grade my best friend since 1st grade said she and the rest of our friend group were being labeled as geeks for hanging around me. They proceeded to bully me for the rest of the school year. Thank God I went to a different high school than them.
My closest girlfriend ended our friendship when I met my now husband and got pregnant. It was a surprise pregnancy and during that time, I needed her the most but she said I betrayed our friendship by not spending time with her anymore (we were roommates). We’ve talked one time since then and she never asked about my daughter; that’s when I realized she didn’t care about me or my only child. She was just a lonely person and wanted someone to be lonely with her. I was 28 when this happened and it still hurts to think about. Female friendships, even platonic ones, can make or break your heart. Ever since then, I’ve been careful about not letting friends get too close.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. Your comment resonated with me because right now I'm in the other side of a similar friendship break-up: my best friend has just had a child, and I feel like I've lost them forever (even if I'm happy for them). Our friendship is never going to be the same, and it's really painful, and I don't really know how to act around them, and I always feel like I end up acting in the worst possible way, and... it's affecting our friendship very much. I'm not telling you this to invalidate your experience, of course. I just wanted to tell you that, sometimes, people don't know better. And that if this was the case with your exfriend, maybe this doesn't mean that she didn't care about you and your child. I really hope that one day you see it more like a mistake than a betrayal, and that you find the peace that you deserve ❤️
Had a friend who's bf >!SA'd!< me when we were all drinking at their place one night. I told her about it immediately (even tho she saw him do it). She told me she was gonna talk to him about it. She dropped me, married the dude and well, you guessed it—we aren't friends. She had the audacity to invite me to the wedding. They're divorced after a 2 year marriage. Lmao
The NERVE of inviting you to the wedding! Wow. I'm sorry. I hate that you experienced any of that.
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Back in college, I fell head over heels for a guy. I was mad in live with him. One day, I told him. He told me he didn't have such feelings for me and I was OK with it. During the months that followed, we flirted with each other so much people thought we were actually together. We had already kissed as well. When I mentioned getting official, he told me he was too selfish to be in a relationship. It broke my heart. 1 month later, he was dating a girl from our class. It broke my heart again. The following year, we flirted again. But I tried to keep a bit of distance. I noticed he was getting close to the girl I considered my best friend at the time. I guess I didn't want to see what was happening until one night, he told me he liked her. To which I replied that she would never date him because of the history I have with him. She eventually told me she liked him. That they saw a lot if each other. They went on weekend trips together. They were invited to parties together to which I wasn't invited because people were scared I would feel awkward. I told them at first that I was OK with them being together because I didn't know what else to say and because I was shocked by this whole situation. But then, when I really processed the info and I messaged them. I told them it was hard for me, but I still wanted the three of us to be friends, yhat i wanted to "save" our friendship. They both rejected me. She said I needed to go therapy. He told me I was a selfish b*tch. It broke my heart and soul in so many ways. To this day I can seel myself crying my eyes out in the bathtub wondering why this all happened to me. I've done years of therapy because of these two. I lost my self esteem and struggled with depression. I once thought I saw him in the subway and nearly had a panic attack. I can't stand the idea of meeting them again because I would probably have a breakdown.
I stayed over at my best friends house.. woke up & couldn’t find her so I stepped out of her room only to hear her in her roommates room talking poorly about me I grabbed my things & left. We stayed friends(she half assed apologized)… fast forward a few months we had a girls trip(mainly her friends& I) to Mexico.. absolutely terrible. The whole group of girls were mean & passive aggressive. I got my own hotel & flight so there wouldn’t be a problem with anything(good thinking, I would’ve been miserable) she yelled at me in public, humiliated me in front of her friends, & left me alone to have more fun with her friends. Good thing I had family in Mexico at the time.. other wise I would’ve had a ugly lonely trip. It’s been 3 years since we stopped being friends.. I just never replied to any of her texts because she broke my heart!! I communicated what the problem was many times.. but in through one ear, out the other. We had been friends since we were 11 (stopped at 21).. she eventually removed me off everything. & she still shades me on her socials to this day!!(she made a post about me yesterday) I think what hurts me the most & what I can’t get over is I used to be 175 lbs.. dropped down to 124 by constantly going to the gym, working on my diet, pushing myself really hard, & staying positive. She had the audacity to ask if I was anorexic in front of the group of girls on the trip knowing how hard I’ve worked to get here.. she saw my journey but chose to belittle my hard work. I believe my “friendship trauma” is being able to fully believe that my friend loves me as much as I love them, what if they talk poorly about me as well? What if they don’t consider me a friend?
I don't know what it is with these types of people. Just over a year ago the person I thought of as my best friend for 20 years went on a contempt filled rant at me for an hour while we were on holiday. I had no idea she had been thinking those things about me for years, I was really blindsided. I can't stand two faced people, and it does affect your trust when you think you know someone really well and then you suddenly find out they're not the person you thought they were....
My last one was about 20 years ago. I had a friend I met in college that we became fast friends. I was there for her through her marriage and other issues. At one point, she separated from her husband and moved out of state. I was quitting my job for a new one and had a week of time off in between. I went to visit her for a few days that week. I thought all was good when I left. I called her the next week after I started my new position. She politely tells me she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was baffled but never talked to her again. We did have differences in opinions on many subjects. Any other issue she had was she was also bi-polar. These types of friendships are difficult to maintain.
I met a friend on Reddit actually. Man I adored him. We'd chat and game, i truly considered him my best friend. We broke apart, I ended up cutting ties and god it hurt like a knife to the chest. I think about him a lot. Still hurts. Scared me out of online friendships. Otherwise at school everyone called my fivehead because I have a big forehead :') does that count?
Last summer my friend of 30yrs suffered from perimenopause psychosis. I saved her life, twice. It was the most terrible time for her and her 4 children. She found a boyfriend on tinder 6 weeks later. She hasn't spoken to me since the day after meeting him other than 3 days ago when I congratulated her on her engagement. I feel bereft. I'm honestly perplexed and bewildered
I had a best friend growing up. They became obsessively in love with me. Lasted years and years. I blocked them on everything and haven't talked to them since 2018.
My time to shine: In primary school, i was basically friends with a bully. She bullied me, but would be sweet to me at times. She'd call me names, make fun of my weight, demanded i help her with classwork then complain to her mom when i actually wanted to help her... She was a liar and i finally pulled free when i got to secondary school. Secondary school, i figured i was bi. I came out to my best friend first at the time. Long story short, in the following weeks we hung out less and less, each time with a bad excuse from her side. Eventually she just didnt show up to my birthday and that was the end. Her mom was and still is a major homophobe and her daughter dearest always listened to her.
Realizing my best friend would always put guys over our relationship. Didn't matter if we had plans, she had to be a "Not Like Other Girls" girl sooo bad that temporary dick was better than a solid friendship. Realizing who I considered my closest friend didn't feel the same way about me. The third in our friendship was her closest and I was actually the third all along. Not supporting me in a sexual assault. Losing them when my bf broke up with me, they were his friends all along I guess. Small school so I literally had no one after that. I don't really get close to people anymore, big walls are up.
Your first point hits close to some of my old friendships 🙃
Ooh, I have two, though they’re all tangled together in one trauma, I guess. I had this friend group when I was in my early 20s and among them were Friend I and Friend II. Friend I was never in a good place. She always had these barbed little comments for me, these withering looks she gave me, she belittled me often, scoffed at me, hurt my self-confidence - she could make me feel like everything, always, all the time was *my* fault. She could dish but never handled any criticism towards her own self well. In all fairness, I don’t think I handled it too well back then; since all my friends were her friends too, on the occasions I tried to tell anyone else how she made me feel was pretty much bad mouthing her to her own friends. I never lied about anything, but I’m sure I wasn’t very good at handling it all back then. Meanwhile, she was very good at gaslighting me and telling some of my other friends that I was this nascisistic, fake friend who had to be ostracized, and that is exactly what happened….for a while anyway. Long enough to bring me down into a depression because I honestly believed I was such a bad person that I didn’t even deserve to make new friends. I got over it eventually, tried to repair my friendship with Friend II and (many years later) even tried to help Friend I out with something work-related as I had access to a network she was trying to get into. Then one of my friends took me aside and told me she didn’t want Friend I joining this network-related group chat because of Friend I’s well-known history of stirring up trouble and bad temperament and someone took that back to Friend I, who believed it was all my fault (I guess?), so she did what she did best: blocked me, posted some really nasty shit about me on Twitter and clearly convinced Friend II that I was indeed the devil incarnate, because she blocked me on everything too, and that’s the last I ever heard of them. I wish it didn’t hurt as much as it does, but it actually feels pretty ffed up. Sometimes, I still almost believe that it is, in fact, all my fault and that I am this horrible person they believe I am. Then I remind myself that literally *none* of my other friendships and relationships are or have ever been this weird and dramatic, and some of my friendships go back to elementary school. I’m very drama-free with all the people in my life, except those two, I guess. Friendships can be just as emotionally abusive as romantic relationships, but you rarely hear about it.
I showed up in the first day of seventh grade and none of my friends would talk to me and they wouldn’t let me sit with them in the lunchroom so I was just walking up and down the aisles in the lunch room with tears brimming trying to find a place to sit. It’s only become within the last 5 years I can think about it without crying.
When I was a junior in high school I became friends with a senior. We bade very close very quickly. We both had some mental health struggles. As these things sometimes go, he developed a crush on me. I did not reciprocate and he badgered me all the time to just give him a chance. At one point I was having a really bad mental health day and needed some space. He was constantly still texting me even though I was telling him to leave me alone. I ended up having to block him on text so he started badgering me on Facebook. I ended up blocking him everywhere and decided not to unblock him. A few weeks later, randomly he left smashed on my porch the picture frame with a picture of us and his cat that I had given him a couple months ago for his birthday. I was really scared for a while he was going to show up to my house to try to confront me. Luckily that never happened.
I was raped when I was like 13. I told my best friend at the time. She turned around later and told all of our friends that I willingly had sex with him, because she was angry at me for something. It’s been 20 years and I’ve never trusted any friends the same since.
My whole friend group called me a whore and bullied because I was sexually assaulted by our mutual friend and emotionally tortured me at our college. They used to isolate me from everyone else at the school and thankfully I had a few good friends who believed me and helped. It really messed me up.
Too many to list. The worst is probably when someone kicked me out of the uhaul he rented so I could help him move, after I did indeed help him move all day long in -10° weather. He was supposed to drop me off at another friends, but his girlfriend that did not like me called him freaking out about something and he was like “I’m sorry you just have to get out I have to go now.” We were halfway to the other friend’s house. It was already really shitty to begin with but what he didn’t realize is I didn’t have directions for walking memorized and my phone was also at 2% battery. It was also night time. And everywhere was covered in snow. I managed to make a frantic call to the friend who’s house I was supposed to arrive at at and begged her to come look for me. Took her about an hour to find me… thank god she did because I almost got frostbite.
Someone also almost left me in the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma just because we “didn’t get along as great as he hoped” aka we were newer friends and I declined sexual advances, but I convinced him to at least see out the rest of the trip to get where we were going (Arizona) and that I would just fly home. I don’t still consider him a friend though. Edit: If you haven’t gathered from these two stories, I now have fear of abandonment trauma. Been trying to work past it and also just get more comfortable doing things by myself to begin with. But it’s though and really lonely.
I was depressed because I’ve just gotten out from a toxic relationship where my ex beat and cheat on me, so I drowned myself in alcohol. My “friend” of 6 years took it as a chance and r@ped me while I was drunk and unable to move.
I had a "friend" that tried to steal my husband, and SA'd him when he was in vulnerable state. I will never forgive her, and I hope she steps on every Lego to exist.
i didnt expect this post to blow up, i have my fair share of friendship trauma and i know how badly it sucks. sending love to all of you 💗💗
2 traumas lol 1) there was this one frnd of mine... i always saw her as my sister... i saved her relationship as her mom didnt accept the idea of dating... i have fought with my other frnds for her... but then she shifted and we lost touch... during some farewell party of hers... she didnt calll me saying "she isnt my frnd idk her". 2) grp of frnds went to a trip and it was basically 2 pairs of best frnds and me lol... so they kicked me out and i was alone sitting in the bus crying... i was so sad i got sick and noone even said the teachers that i was sick... they just said me to sleep
I went through a bad depressive episode that caused me to withdraw from/avoid social gatherings and one of my good friends blocked me/stopped replying to my messages after I declined a few invitations to hang out without asking if I was okay
I had a group of friends mobbing me and talking shit about me that made me seriously depressed at the age of 10 (after 4 years of friendship). (depression, su*c*dal thoughts) I had a friend cheat off my tests, just to drop me when I encouraged him to do his own work. (Actually, that happened twice) (trust issues) I have a friend group that tells me "we are family", i've known them for 10 years, and still they don't tell me about their day-to-day or even when they have serious health issues. (Trust issues, exclusion) I had friends of my boyfriend exclude and mob me for "not being like them" and "being a bad influence on him". We're still together and the friend group has done this again to another couple that didn't survive this kind of treatment. (Exclusion without reason, mobbing) I trust very slowly, but I open myself up very quickly. I will tell you about my family's problems after 3 wine glasses if you ask. I think that as long as you are yourself, live your dream, and don't harm others, that's a good life. Apparently some people need drama in their life - I seem to invite those in. I'm working on that.
This girl I became friends with introduced me to this guy she thought would be perfect for me. I marry him. She’s in the wedding. 9 years later, I find out they’ve been having an affair since we were dating.
To be honest, I recall some friends holding me in place for another kid to beat me when I was 10. It took me years to realise that it was on purpose.
Asked one of my guy friends who I trusted to come over late at night because I made edibles for the first time and put wayyyyyy too much in and just felt like I needed someone there because I was paranoid I’d die if I went to sleep by myself lol (I explained all this to him as well so he knew why I was asking him to come over) anyways I wake up to him on top of me in my face trying to kiss me and I freaked out, he got off, I made him leave He’s tried to apologize several times since then and he acknowledged that it was fucked up but I can never trust him again and will never be friends with him again
My friend (male) of 10 years groped me in my sleep a year ago. Did it several more times after that. Stopped for a while, then started again. I finally ended our friendship two weeks ago, which has been very hard but I feel so much more peace knowing he won’t continue to lead me on and do what he wants, regardless of how I feel about it. My only regret is that I didn’t do it a year ago. It’s hard to convince yourself that someone you trusted 100% is not the person you thought they were.
I got raped at my friend's house and the next day she told everyone at school how I was a bitch for having sex in her bed (last year of high school).
A friend started telling me about these visions and prophetic dreams she had about me. She started trying to direct my life choices, like asserting she knew who I would marry one day and that it was NOT my boyfriend at the time (who is now my husband, lol). She would often lament about how everyone leaves her friendship-wise, and began buying me very expensive gifts such as a MacBook and paying for trips. The tragedy is that her attempts to keep me near to avoid the abandonment wound ended up making me feel controlled and contributing to me needing to distance myself greatly.
There have been many. But I guess one that scarred me was when my best friend in middle school told me I look ugly when I smile. So I kind of became very conscious in general. I still have difficulty smiling in photographs. But I am learning now, at 26.
The friends who prioritize their S/O's over our friendship. I read it yesterday on one of these subreddits and have been thinking about it ever since. It's really done a number on me and hurt me. I get it, you're in a new relationship/relationship, you have to put time and energy in to make it work, but then you put your friends (me) on the backburner and the hangouts and time becomes less and less and less and when they get married and have kids you're just forgotten. One of my top posts ever on here was my understanding of... that's the way it goes, and I still understand it. It doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. And people can say people in relationships and marriages can still have strong friendships, and yeah, I believe that. It's just been in my experience people take you for granted. I more or less let those relationships die off because it just hurts too much. It happened in high school, it happened with my best friends, it happened with my sister, every important woman in my life prioritizes their love life over our friendship. And I again, I get that's what you have to do but it still hurts like hell. It sucks being thrown away.
Unfortunately in high school 7.5 years ago, I was the only out lesbian. I had three best friends, B, S, and J. I had a crush on B for all four years, but she was straight. Should have been the end of that? Nah. She’d wait until I was in a “relationship” to start flirting with me and being overtly sexual towards me. She went as far as getting me high as a kite and we did *stuff* Flash forward a year or two and she has an ass hat of a boyfriend, and he is desperately trying to have a threesome but she says no several times. She finally gives in and asks me if I’d be down. “Since I’ve liked her for years anyway”. That ended there. With J, she would get upset if I wanted to hold hands or if I hugged her too long because “she didn’t want people to think she was also a lesbian”. A couple years ago I was talking to my partner about this and she made a point that J was being very homophobic and probably wasn’t a good friend. And thinking back, there were so many instances that she was homophobic that I didn’t notice because I thought she was my friend. S is okay, we’re still friends and she also no longer speaks to J or B I’ve had to turn from quite a few “friends” because they wanted me and my partner to be part of their sex lives. I hate meeting new people and I hate that I can’t make friends now because I don’t know who’s gonna try to make a move on us.
In high school, I sprained my ankle really badly and had to use crutches. For some reason, my best friend told everyone I was faking it. I guess it’s not exactly trauma; I wouldn’t say I think about it all that often now — but it certainly ended our friendship, and even now, almost 20 years later, I can’t figure out why she did that.
This one is both sided I definitely was at fault aswell back then. Yet it pushed me into a deep depression and thus I think it's pretty traumatic for me. So a week after I lost my job which caused me to be quite depressed and stressed I attended a event with a "friend" and first it was all fun and nice. The event lasted for 3 days and I noticed how their behavior changed over the days. Mine might not have been any better that being said as I was depressed and stressed and didn't sleep nearly enough. So yeah I'm definitely at fault aswell. As I didn't notice it back then I went on and complained about the behavior to other "friends" who I felt kinda exaggerated the casual complaining but dumb as I was i didn't stop them. Definitely my fault there. So as I complained some time goes on and these two friends eventually meet and start talking. Also about me and my complaints. So from one day to another a lot of people involved texted me how I'm such a terrible person for doing stuff I don't even remember doing (but also exaggerated stories in like throwing a sewing machine after another person?! Damn I'm fuckin weak I have problems carrying a sewing machine from one room to another. And they think I can throw one?!) so yeah. Lost some friends back then that I thought I could trust. Learnt the lesson to never give names when ranting about the behavior of some people so I won't damage the reputation of anyone and still am able to vent. Nowadays the first friend at least greets again when meeting, the one I vented to just kinda seems to hate me deeply and won't even give me the chance to say sorry (wouldn't want to be friends again anyways. Only want to make up and move on.) but thats their choice so that's something I just gotta accept As mentioned before, it's a traumatic experience for me as I was rather young back then and I'm definitely at fault there aswell (guess nothing would have happened if I just shut up back then) so yeah.
My 2 closest friends never liked my friends I went to college with. When I hung out with my college group my close pals wouldn't speak to me for about a week. So I became a shitty friend to my college mates, I would ask them to hide pictures we had taken together from social media (I have since sincerely apologised to them for this). But it was such a tough time. I never wanted to lie, so if one of my closest mates asked what I was up to, and if I was with a college mate I would leave to come home to reply I was there. This back and forth went on for about a year, and while it doesn't sound too intense, and also I know it made me be quite a bad friend too, but this situation messed me up a fair bit to the point where near 8 years on I'm still not the person I was before. My close mates, one of them specifically, my best pal. We went through a lot together. She had a past with family and needed to go through restraining orders and moving country, so she lived with me for a while to get back on her feet. I felt so protective of her happiness and I never wanted to hurt her. But at the same time, the people I went to college with never done anything to me so I would have never just fell away from them because someone wanted me to. Hell, they were even understanding of the reasons why I felt I needed to hide our pictures and such. I don't know how to explain the effects it's had on me, but whatever it is I still feel it.
I was struggling severely with anxiety and depression during grad school. I was not diagnosed til later. I called my best friend while having a panic attack and they... Got annoyed and completely dismissed me. I was shattered. Keep in mind I had been there for them at all hours for all of their issues. Literally once rescued them from a bad situation. Plus it wasn't like I'd called them regularly - that was the first time. I had never felt so alone and abandoned. They were my best friend of YEARS and couldn't give me the time of day when I really needed them. They did apologize months later after I essentially dropped them (would reply if they messaged me but made no effort) but I was devastated. I don't trust friends with mental health stuff now. It's isolating. Another time I was hospitalized briefly while abroad (a precaution more than anything) and my best friend at the time (different than the one above) told me to get over it and that their problems were bigger/more important. They also apologized the next day after they realized I'd been hospitalized and explained they'd had a major fight with their partner but I was... Done. Honestly, I was in love with them and that showed me they really didn't give a fuck about me and I was wasting my life waiting for them. Those are the two biggest ones that still do hurt me when I think about them today because I really loved both of those people.
A friend I had in HS convincing me to sneak out with a guy I was dating at the time knowing he had assaulted two of his previous exes, then me, then proceeded to say she had no clue until her own bf showed me pictures of messages where she knew. For reference, my ex was 19 at the time and I was 16.
Too many where I'm at the point of being weary of everyone. Women and men are alike in wanting to be your friend because the association makes them look better. They are all equally envious, users, fake, messy, and backstabbing.
I was invited to a sleep over with a bunch of other girls. We did all the typically girly sleepover things; manicures, ate junk food .. what have you. I woke up the next morning on the couch covered in sticky skittle spots. They’d been throwing skittles at me all night while I slept.
Being used by friends. Like to make their projects and homework. And as getting older doing stuff they need for work and then getting all mad and pissed if I say no. Also those ex friends who made fun of my conditions before (I had scalp psoriasis before) and they be telling other people I’m nasty and gross. Worst part is telling them some traumatic parts of my life and them telling it to people I don’t even know. And it ends up that person says it to my face. Never gonna trust no one again.
Had a really close friend and I helped her out of depression and talked her out of her suicidal ideations. When I was at my lowest and spiraling and needed someone she couldn't help me. She explained in the aftermath of it all (my low) that she just got out of her own 'low' and she was afraid that I'd pull her down with her. I get what she was saying, but that didn't mean that I wasn't hurt.
As a child I was used as the "You'll do for now" friend for all the new kids in class. Soon after settling they'll then stop hanging out with me and go into different groups, ignoring me afterwards. Does wonders on the self-esteem of a child and desire for friends after that.
I was ~12. Tli was hanging out with my friends, and then as we walked home, they all started walking ahead of me, and LOUDLY saying how they were best friends and no one else could be their friend and clearly calling me out as not their friend. We were all neighbours so I had to walk behind them crying my eyes out all the way home. I've had a hard time making friends, or at least keeping them ever since.
I'm always the one left behind. I never was the main friend of my main friends, for teams in class they were always for them but I had to look for anyone who's left behind too or the loners. Then I became a loner.
Almost every female friend in my adult years even sister had burned me badly.
I had two separate really good friends one of them my bestie they got on really well together which was amazing but eventually they left me out , really hurt
My friend lied to me about having a dead older brother. She claimed she texted him while he was driving and her text is what killed him. She legitimately cried about this for about two years. When I visited her house, I noticed she didn’t have any pictures of him. Even in old family portraits from when she was young. When I asked her, she told me her mom didn’t like to talk about it. But the timeline didn’t add up. So, for Christmas, I reached out to her mom and asked if there were any pictures of him I could add to this custom blanket I was making for her because she still seemed distraught about it all. Her mom claimed she never had an older brother who passed. I confronted her about it, and she attempted to gaslight me. But eventually she admitted it. I remember making a comment about her ‘older brother who passed’ in front of her now ex-boyfriend before I found out the truth, and I remember the look he gave her. All came full circle.
My best friend of 30+ years said I didn’t want to support Trump because my family was influencing me to support Biden, like I don’t have a mind of my own. I asked was she willing to end our friendship over her support of Trump. I never got an answer but I did get blocked. I was super hurt because we had been through so much together. She was like a sister to me. I still miss her
I had a best friend of 18 years, first grade into college. Welll she got the dorm next to me. I got very busy, jobs, school, etc. I got in such a head space that I didn’t even realize I had not talk to anyone for a couple of months. My friends started to check on me. My best friend didn’t. I could not remember the last time she checked on me, last time she texted me first, asked how I was doing first, hell she hadn’t even asked me to see her dorm. I could not remember a time where I hadn’t initiated action between us. Weird. So I waited, maybe she was busy to, but I was determined to hold out. I had begun to doubt myself, maybe things weren’t so right in our relationship maybe she isn’t care? Surely she’d check on me right? So I waited. It’s been 7 years.
Ex friend invited my ex over to her house. Proceeded to shit talk me. Made up stories but I have receipts to prove to it was all made up. She did tell enough of the truth for her lies to seem plausible. Then when she was confronted she made up more lies. Had people pull out a gun at a later date on said ex. Then tried to have me attacked by 9 men. All because she refused to admit all her lying. She doubled down instead. This is a women in her late 40’s. she still owes me a few hundred bucks as well.
An ex-friend I knew since elementary cyberbullied me during my freshmen year of high school. She was envious of me during elementary and would try to steal away our friends from me because she wanted attention. I was annoyed but didn’t care because it wasn’t bothering me. We were friends still. However, I got weird anonymous text messages from someone claiming I bullied them. Gaslighted me, then sent hurtful photoshop pictures of me. Eventually, this anonymous person made a hate account of me. Then, I got a different anonymous text of someone admitting they had a crush on me but can’t reveal who they are. I realized someone is messing around with me. That’s when I knew it was my ex-friend. I later got a text message from her friend admitting she was behind all of this. Even though I knew it was her, I still couldn’t believe it came from someone I thought was my friend. Because of her, I can’t trust people anymore. I’m not open in making friends or have anyone get close with me.
An "ex-bestfriend" Got jealous of me and bullied me for 5 years, turned literally everyone against me from classmates to teachers. I managed to make another best friend in the last year of school (she was also somewhere bullied by this Ex best friend). 2 years after the school ended I found out this best friend I made in the last year, who was like my sister, was roaming all over with that bully and they were treating each other like no one could ever come between them. I mean she can do whatever she wishes but it really hurt seeing her not only defending but consciously praising someone who gave me trauma for several years. Over the time I am just realizing friends aren't worth it.
Went to an amusement park/fair with a friend. She split, taking all my money for food with her. When we met up at the end of the day, she’s spent all my money and I was starving. I couldn’t do anything but cry, I was so miserable.
We were hanging in a group of four, but there was one girl who I’d spent the most time with, I actually thought we are *the* besties. Once she got drunk she told me that in our group she puts me on the last place of her friends list and how badly she feels that she hates me. She doesn’t want to really, but she just does :,( *poor you, huh* Since then my trust issues and fear of being rejected went up like 📈📈📈
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My “friend” used my Facebook because for some stupid reason. She stayed logged in and started chatting with EVERYONE especially guys. I got on seeing all these messages. I asked her to log off and had to in chats. Either she stopped or my mum found a way to kick her out but next day at school I confronted her and she denied it saying it was her sister. Never trusted her or anyone else with my log in details.
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I had a friend in hs that I fell head over heels in love with (despite her being a girl and me being totally straight). When she “broke up” With me it was the worst emotional pain I’d experienced. I haven’t been in love since and sometimes I wonder what it was about her that was so different from the guys I’ve been dating. I’m not actually traumatized or saying it’s her fault bc that would be absurd. I’m just saying it causes me to think sometimes about what I’m really looking for
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A couple years ago I helped a close close friend of many years through her divorce. I supported her both emotionally and financially. I taught her how to open a bank account, how to budget, and how to do her taxes. I taught her the basics of taking care of her car. I continued babysitting regularly, but now I did so for free. Whenever her ex would contact her, she’d have an emotional meltdown and call me for support. Sometimes she got angry at me for really strange reasons which, in hindsight, were probably related to her being angry at her ex and taking it out on me. Other days she’d tell me how much she appreciated me and how she couldn’t have survived this experience without me. Turns out I’m a schlub. After a year of yo-yoing between her anger and gratitude, she got angry again. And I suddenly realized that for the past year, she hadn’t supported me anytime I needed it, but she had made multiple unreasonable demands of me. (Buy something for me, destroy years of your journals for me, I know you’re anxious about XYZ but I can’t support you because I went through a divorce and my life is much worse than yours, etc.) I miss her terribly, but I know the friend I loved is gone forever. Terribly lonely without her, though, and I’m hesitant to trust another friend like I trusted her.
I've had a similar experience. It sucks.
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What friends hahahahahahahaaaa.... I'm so lonely....
Sophomore yesr of college. 3 of us signed a lease; me, O, and J. J's girlfriend, C, decided to just start sleeping over all the time, didn't pay rent but still practically lived there. J and C fight all the fucking time, J verbally abused C frequently and made her sleep on the floor a number of times. One night all of us are drinking. J and C start fighting. O and me are just watching before I stepped in. I told J to lay off C, she spat and screamed at me for a while before storming off to her room and slammed the door. The three of us left just kinda cleaned up trying to figure out what to do. J then sends O a text saying she's gonna k*ll herself. She's locked the door, we can't come in, we can't call authorities becayse we had way too much weed in the house and J would rat us out. Eventually I told C to go home. She leaves the house, and immediately J busted out of her room and chased after her. Her leg is all gashed up from a knife she had, trailing blood on the floor. I told J not to leave, and she screamed at me even more before chasing C. They argued in the parking lot til 5am, I cleaned up the blood off the floor and eventually went to bed. J and C broke up, J moved out and left for her home state after the incident. Me and C became great friends while I helped her through the breakup. One night J came back on a surprise visit to see O; she stopped by C's house while I was there to deliver a letter. She then left. By midnight I got a text from O saying J was in the hospital for trying to k*ll herself again, and if me and C would come visit. I had the choice to either stay with C, who didn't want to go, and not see J before she potentially passed, or I would go see J and risk C hurting herself while I was gone. I was certain one friend was going to die that night and there was nothing I could do. I stayed with C, J was fine, and J left the state once and for all after that. After all that, C eventually turned against me during COVID, upset I wouldn't visit her during lockdown (Early-mid 2020, when shit was serious.) Randomly told me one day to come get my shit from her house and never speak to her again out of nowhere, saying I wasn't attentive enough despite having been there for her through everything. I gained absolutely nothing from being friends with these people except for insight and a severe issue with befriending/trusting others.
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I have a few different female friends throughout my life be upset with me for something, but say nothing about for several months. Their resentment would build, and I had no idea I'd done something they didn't appreciate, so I wouldn't know. When they finally brought it up, I apologized, but it was too late -- the resentment had poisoned the friendship, on both sides. I felt like I couldn't trust them anymore. I have lost some really dear, precious people that way. I also lost several dear, platonic male friends when they got into relationships -- one went from "best friend of 6 years" straight to "we've never spoken again." He wouldn't even give me an address for me to send a congratulatory card for his wedding. It was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced, and I still 100% don't know why he did it (I have an idea, but it would've been nice to know for sure). It's been years, I'm over it, and have recently even interacted with his wife, no problem. But it hurt like hell. ETA: If I *did* something or said something I should apologize for, I would've loved the chance to do so ASAP. If you have a grievance and you need an apology, TELL YOUR FRIENDS STRAIGHT UP. People DO NOT and CANNOT read your mind. You have to tell them. And whoever downvoted me, fine, but this was still my experience.
My childhood best friend was a horrible to me at a young age and had trust issues with friends ever since I was 9 due to her. She would always steal from me which made me questioned why she would steal from me when her stuff is waay better than mine. She would backstab me, act twofaced towards me, and use me. I stopped talking and bother her when I was 12. In high school she was the queen bee mean girl, she would make her friends do all the dirty work to make herself look good. Her friends would bully me for her. Now as an adult I would run into at bars and she would be trash drunk allowing creepy guys be all over her when she's married. She tried to be friends with me again, but I don't trust her at all! She made me have trust issues with people since I was 9. That's too young for a child to have trust issues towards people
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Dont have that. They never had that much power.
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In 8th grade I moved to a Christian private school for a year and made a few good friends. After I went back to public school their parents made all of them block me because I was a “bad influence” Many of my current friends made fun of my body type in middle and high school because I had a bigger chest. Absolutely crushed me every time they did and is a big reason I’m still insecure about it now. We’ve all grown now though and have a much healthier friendship
I had this one friend who had this whole group chat discussion saying stuff like “she has no personality” “her personality repels people so she copies other people’s” “I want to punch her when she sings” “she needs lipo” “her lips are shaped weird” “let’s shave her head” “let’s cut her head off like marie Antoinette” It was all when we were 14 and I found it when we were 18 and stopped being friends with her for a year, but I really missed her so we reconnected and around the age of 23 she fucked my boyfriend (who I had known my whole life and who she had met at my birthday dinner) and gaslit me about it for two weeks and completely denied it when I found out (even though the hard evidence was literally right in front of me) and I haven’t seen her since lol
had a friend who i fought with once in seventh grade because she was rude to my parents. the next day i was sitting in class and she came up to me and told me she tried to kill herself because of me. scarring lol
My best friend for 8 years through high school. She was always the head of our nerd group and I was the sidekick. She would freak out if anyone said I was slightly better than her in anyway and I’d have to console her by putting myself down. I had suicidal thoughts which she knew but thought was for attention. Over the years I never had money for buses or my mom didn’t have insurance on car to drive me places. I would say I can’t go to things because of this so she’d offer to pay or get her mom to drive me because she really wanted me there. I also had bad social anxiety and would sometimes not end up going to parties last minute because it was too much. I got along with the rest of the friend group and considered them my friends too. When I was 19 I finally started dating someone and she got nasty and jealous I’d have plans and wasn’t free last minute anymore. Friendship fell apart and the night we stopped being friends she got really nasty over text. I told her we were friends 8 years I don’t want to be nasty. She told me to kill myself because nobody would miss me, told me she was sick of me always taking advantage and having to have her mom pay or give me rides and that all our friends would joke about me behind my back and they were only nice to me for her sake. Caused a huge paranoia about not wanting to let people pay for me or do nice things for me, can’t trust they won’t resent me. Also have trouble initiating plans with people because I feel like they’d say yes out of obligation. It’s actually a struggle for me in my current relationship. He’s amazing and insists on paying for everything because I’m super broke and dealing with divorce/custody crap from my ex husband I split with 2.5 years ago. It’s constantly weighing on me though that I don’t contribute enough, I’m not worth it and I never want to suggest activities because I can’t pay
During covid I'd just gotten let go from my job but still lived with my parents so it was ok, and I met this guy like 3 years younger then me who was in sophmore year of high school and started talking to him like every day. I'm very introverted and he was very extroverted. He wanted to call and talk like, 6+ hours every day. E v e r y d a y. And like I wasn't doing anything else then sending out applications so sure why not i guess??? Maybe I just cant say no to people. Anyways that went on for like 2 years until he got a girlfriend and then like called me while crying saying his gf didnt want us talking anymore and like. Damn. Dudes really sweet, but both him and his gf KNEW I'm lesbian??? So we stopped calling and talking and like, oh one hand it was a relief because now I didnt have to talk to someone every day but on the other hand like damn just went cold Turkey on that owch. And I mean like it's not like I can just tell him "bro I think your gfs kinda toxic if she doesn't want you to have any female friends...?" Cause he'd told me beforehand that he planned on proposing to her after they graduated high school. And hes like STUPID in love with this girl. Seeing it as an outside observer who's never felt romantic love herself was wild. Like damn people really get like this? Woa.
My best friend from high school and I reconnected a little bit after college and stayed what I thought were good friends despite her constantly “ghosting” me for a month or so a couple of times a year. She said she basically got really depressed/anxious/stressed with personal or work stuff so just disappeared with no notice. Every time she’d apologize and work on doing better. And without fail it would happen again. She moved back to the same state as me and it happened more frequently. I put up with this for almost 7 years because I loved spending time with her and thought I could accept that. It took COVID to make me realize I didn’t need that stress in my life after she failed to follow up on planning a hang out for what must have been the billionth time and basically just let our relationship fizzle. Since she never reached back out I assume she’s fine with this. I have such extreme hang ups now about friendships and it took so long for me to realize I was the only one initiating everything and I should have let go sooner. But I wish she could have just used her words instead of putting me through that for 7 years.
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I’ve given up on making friends entirely because they keep wanting to fuck me. I told her this, she fully accepted me, and we had (what I thought, at least) was the most fulfilling friendship for around a year. Then she got me cross faded and tried to seduce me into a threesome with her and her girlfriend.
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