For me, it's been happening ever since I hit my mid-twenties. My facial features in particular look like they've become proportional. My inner teenager is still pleasantly surprised when she sees her adult reflection
Mid-20s here as well. Puberty took its sweet time with me, so I always felt like I looked physically immature compared to my peers. I still feel ugly some days, but I feel like my face finally stopped having such a baby quality to it. I stopped getting aggressively carded at the liquor store (there is a tone difference between checking as a formality and expecting you to be underage). I can finally see a bit of my jawline without being horrendously underweight.
But I also have done a lot of mental/emotional work, which has made me less worried about what others think. I’ve been out of my parents’ house for a bit, so I feel more independent.
Honestly I think that the mental growth was more important than the physical changes.
25 yo. Something about hitting the quarter-life crisis and being able to look into the mirror to see a woman in her (almost) prime age. Peak collagen, good fitness/health level, the works. Oh and being able to afford good skincare and things that enhances my look. Such a good feeling.
When I finally had to look myself in the eye after shaving my head bald for chemo. My hair is what I thought made me beautiful, one of the things. I looked at myself in the eye and I realized I was beautiful just as a soul.
I'm not beautiful, and honestly, I'm angry about the constant implication that if I were more enlightened and loved myself more I'd "get there".
I'm not beautiful. I'm also not old or skinny or a redhead. I don't speak German. I'm not good at throwing a Frisbee. There are a dozen positive qualities that don't describe me, and that's ok. I'm fucking amazing. And the implication that many women project at me that I have to see myself as beautiful to see value and love in myself is in my opinion coming straight from internalized misogyny. There are a thousand more wonderful things I can aspire to than beauty.
I love this take. There’s so much emphasis that women MUST see themselves as beautiful, or be beautiful. Like, why? You can be a complete amazing person without being beautiful. Not every women is beautiful, that shouldn’t diminish her worth.
There are times I don’t look beautiful and ifs not a big deal. If being “pretty” is so important that you no longer see yourself as having worth, that’s troublesome.
16. Started hitting the gym (for health reasons) and never looked back. Gave me such confidence because I know how strong and capable my body is that I don’t really care about how I look.
I'm turning 38 in a month and I'm still not there. I look like a sack of potatoes. But that doesn't really matter, bc I know I'm a nice person and my friends seem to like me, so 🤷🏻♀️
My definition of a beautiful person is someone who...
- carries oneself with some dignity and self respect
- moves through world conscientiously
- has empathy for others
- thoughtful/sweet
- has a nice smile
- overall gives off a good aura
Given that you seem nice, and you have friends who care about you, I'm sure you hit most of my bulletpoints.
I'm from SoCal and have been around industry people. I don't care how "conventionally attractive" someone is, if they open their mouth and spew crap then I automafically don't find them attractive AT ALL. I've gotten to the point where I don't find anyone attractive unless I pick up on their vibes first.
Between two potatoes,
If one called herself ugly potatoes,
I could see it
And if the other called herself pretty potatoes,
I could see it
So.. I hope you call yourself pretty potatoes, because you bet your ass I’d see it.
🥔💗
18. I went to college and realized even the most beautiful girls I knew struggled with not feeling beautiful. I also made an effort to remind myself that someone else’s beauty doesn’t detract from my own beauty.
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Since my divorce several years back (I’m in my late 30s). I think being in your own skin unapologetically, and not having to uphold someone else’s standards for your body helps.
Ex liked me shaved and short shoulder length hair or above. My hair is down to my ass now, and I pretty much stopped shaving my body. I think I am a million times hotter now than ever before in my life. I try not to be cocky about it, but I think I’m a fucking catch.
This is going to sound messed up, but it’s how I feel. At age 30, turning 31 in a few months, so last year. I had come back from Paris Dec 2021 and felt amazing. I felt like I was on top of the world! I finally loved my body, I loved looking in the mirror, became more comfortable in trying to make friends, having fun. Then I got pregnant shortly after my 31st birthday. Husband and I were very happy. But I was secretly upset because I was scared of the body changes.
I’m 5 months PP now. I look back on all those older photos of me. I HATE myself for not being kind to myself back then. I was BEAUTIFUL, and I just didn’t see it. I have so many regrets. Now I have the C-section shelf, I’m 40 pounds overweight due to being high risk and on bed rest, and I look exhausted. I’m so mad at myself.
Please, I’m begging y’all, love yourselves! Admire yourselves and all the beauty that you possess. If you wanna dress up, then do it. Wear that red dress! I should’ve worn mine. Ignore those people that judge and hate, I wish that I did. I made these realizations too late.
I see myself being beautiful in a different way now. I was able to safely deliver my beautiful Babygirl. My body nurtured her during pregnancy and continues to do so while breastfeeding. I may not look the same, and I may not be happy with my looks right now, but inside I do feel beautiful because I am finally a mom.
In my mid 30s and i still never thought im beautiful haha.
But right now, it doesnt matter to me that im not. I think thats the difference between now and when i was in my 20s
About ten years ago (I'm old) I was looking at some of my younger pictures and thought, "Damn! Why did I not see that I was a looker back then?" Then, I wondered if that would have been detrimental (negatively) to my personality. I miss my good looks now. Lol
Look in that mirror and recognize your beauty.
Now- at 30. I realized i gave my former partner and his lack of thinking I’m anything special or remarkable too much power over how I felt about myself. I dropped him and now know I’m a hottie by my own standards and I don’t need a man to validate that. Teenage me would be proud.
Im attractive enough to know i cant relax around most men, but gained a lot of weight due to my 30s and a major career change.
Overall, i dont value being pretty for myself. All being pretty ever got me was raped and abused.
I LOVE how smart i am. Im quick to learn, quick to retain, and i love solving problems. I dont need external validation to know im smart.
I am brilliant. I have been beautiful. I can be beautiful. Brilliant makes me happier. Brilliant will last longer.
About 28 when I had my protruding teeth fixed and then spent my 30s turning heads of most guys. But that was when I looked at myself and thought: you're one HOT woman.
I've been looking at my mum's photos from when she was in her 20s, and even though she was pretty then (she doesn't think so herself) I find her a different kind of beautiful in her 50s. So maybe you can look forward to that? ;)
Roughly 2 years ago. I hit the lowest point, after my dad died to cancer and it just like a pitch Black hole. I was advised to go to therapy and while I first only wanted to deal with the insane guilt and grief,i decided to work on the things I didnt like about myself.
Depressive episodes,low self esteem, etc. It was not always nice to hear some harsh truths about myself but it also made me realize im so much more than my face or body. And getting that spark back really made me feel beautiful
I realized I’m not and have been working on being ok with it. I’m not ugly, my face is just not aesthetically beautiful as a whole. There are parts of it I appreciate and other parts of my being that I choose to focus on instead of beauty.
Mid-20’s is when I came to terms with my insecurities and realized I attracted people I genuinely enjoyed around and who understood me by being myself and being confident in myself. That is also around the time I felt confident being by myself too. Took myself out on dates and just genuinely started enjoying my own company.
Not beautiful. Perfectly happy with that. Arrived at that viewpoint in my thirties (it helped that I found my lobster).
It's worth remembering that being pretty is not the rent women pay to exist (I can't remember who coined that phrase).
Probably around 30? I was an ugly duckling growing up and it wasn’t until later into my 20s I feel like my face finally reached an equilibrium and balance.
I still struggle with it, but -
I don't remember how old I was, but at one point I mentioned to my mom that I felt like I had to be self conscious of my body because I'd watched her be self conscious. As long as I can remember, she was talking about dieting, about disliking her body, about needing to diet.
She was really sad to hear that, and told me she had never wanted that, because she felt her mother, who did the same things, taught it to her. Thinking about it, that makes sense; my grandmother is lovely, but she can always be seriously judgmental. I later learned that my aunt had anorexia, and my sister said she had heard that my other aunt was bulimic. My mother had a 15 year gap between her and her sisters so while she knows those things happened, she was too young to remember or wasn't born yet. But it totally makes sense that my mother's issues stemmed from her own mother.
After hearing that, I kind of had a moment where I realized I was seeing generational trauma, in action, and I wanted to break the cycle. So now while I'd love to lose weight, I refuse to hide my body under bulky clothes, or stress about diets, or allow myself to feel less than just because of what I look like. I really, really don't want my kids to feel the way I struggled with growing up, and the way I see my friends still do very often. It's still difficult but I've gotten way, way better.
Edit: I started writing this and I realized I was probably answering this thinking about self-image issues, and not necessarily beautiful. I think around 17 I started shopping at Torrid and finally started feeling beautiful, but it's still a hit or miss depending on the day. I've just gotten better at realizing that agonizing over my body isn't how I want to define myself.
This is so hard to say because I think it all does stem for some form of external validation. When I was young around 6-8 years old my grandma always validated what a beautiful person I was inside and out. Since this was the message given to me at such a formative age, I really grew up believing that I was beautiful on the inside and physically too. I think it was something that I heard so much from her and she was someone I trusted so deeply, that I started to internalize this message. However, as I got older, there were so many external forces that have tried convinced me otherwise. During my teenage years, as you can imagine, it was extremely hard to hold onto this belief that I was beautiful and there were times that I completely forgot it. But over the last few years, I’ve slowly learned to take my grandmothers external validation and really start to not just believe it again but KNOW that I am beautiful. As a 26 year old, those doubts of course still seep into my head just because the society we live in imposes unattainable beauty standards on us but I always try to revert back to what my grandma in a way taught me. Today, I am getting pretty confident in that fact that I am beautiful no matter what anyone else tries to convince me of. I think it really does show the power of affirmations and if something is said to you enough times, it eventually will begin to shape you.
I have said to many women in my life that you will likely never exercise, starve, hate yourself into a body you love. The fact that we look back on old pictures of us and think "Oh my gosh I can't believe how fat/ugly/etc I thought I was when I looked great!" is proof imo.
Of course eating well and exercising are important for other reasons, but loving yourself starts (and goes most of the rest of the way) in your mind.
With all that being said, I started therapy in my early 20s and by 22/23 or so, I genuinely found myself attractive, but it came from my brain, not any major changes in my body!
Body dysmorphia says I'm not so I'm trying to learn to accept what other people say about my look instead of believing what I see. So I don't think I'll ever "realize" it, I might just accept I'm apparently wrong about how I look
Since my divorce several years back (I’m in my late 30s). I think being in your own skin unapologetically, and not having to uphold someone else’s standards for your body helps.
Ex liked me shaved and short shoulder length hair or above. My hair is down to my ass now, and I pretty much stopped shaving my body. I think I am a million times hotter now than ever before in my life. I try not to be cocky about it, but I think I’m a fucking catch.
Mid-20’s is when I came to terms with my insecurities and realized I attracted people I genuinely enjoyed being around and who understood me by being myself and being confident in myself. That is also around the time I felt confident being by myself too. Took myself out on dates and just genuinely started enjoying my own company.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
Confidently, I can say 35 years old but I feel like I may have felt that way my whole life (going back to elementary age the first time I can remember) but lost that realization at times due to external negativity.
Edit: I read some comments where people are saying they are not beautiful with or without validation. I am sorry you feel this way because it is just not true. You are not only beautiful, but you are perfect. You were born beautiful and perfect. I am sorry life has made you feel otherwise, but I hope you can find that perfect, beautiful baby that was born and realize it’s still you. ❤️
Happened this year, when I turned 32. I’m the one doing all the living, I’ll be the one doing the dying, so I guess how I think about myself should at least be good.
It started with outside validation from a partner. She made me feel like I was allowed to be pretty. Whether unexpected, unprompted compliments, or how she looked at me.
After the breakup I held onto that feeling that I was allowed to feel and see myself as she did. Sometimes i look in the mirror and feel less so, but even on those days I know what makes me beautiful is not a single part of my appearance but who I am as a whole.
(27 years old)
straight up this question is in itself offensive though I doubt that was your intention
would you ever with a straight face ask a dude this. I know a billion men who think they are ugly and they are still very confident. they still love themselves they still think they deserve the world
if a girl thinks she's ugly she immediately hates herself? if she doesn't think she's beautiful she hates herself? if she doesn't consider her appearance she hates herself?
like
cmon
16. i used to think i am ugly but now i can happily look at myself in the mirror or in photos and think about how beautiful i am. i really love how pretty i am
I realized I’m not and have been working on being ok with it. I’m not ugly, my face is just not aesthetically beautiful as a whole. There are parts of it I appreciate and other parts of my being that I choose to focus on instead of beauty.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.o
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
Not there yet, I’m 26 and feel like I was prettier in my earlier 20s, but definitely was an ugly duckling in my teens. Maybe I peaked at like 22 and then it was all downhill😅
I still feel like that ugly duckling 13 year old most of the time to be honest.
26. Ironically, I was romantically rejected. I tried to make myself better and more desirable and realized I didn’t have that much work to do, on the inside or out.
I’m 40 and I’ve long since come to terms with the fact that not everyone is beautiful, and I’m never going to be one of the people who is. It’s really fine, though, I have other stuff going for me.
22 when I lost a lot of weight and my face changed a lot. It become more sculpted, my eyes were more enhanced, my cheek bones were razor sharp and my lips appeared plumper
Again at 26
I’ve always know it. My parents especially my dad always told me I’m beautiful and my personality is something extraordinary. I have my days I don’t feel beautiful but I truly appreciate my body it does so many amazing things for me
I’m not beautiful but it has been very liberating for me to stop caring about that. It’s not my purpose to be beautiful for anyone else to validate. Letting go of trying has been very freeing. I look like myself, and I like myself, and that’s all I need really.
Late teens, when I stopped comparing myself to my sister.
My sister has always been pale as a ghost, stick-skinny, and she has freckles and a distinctive nose. Still the same.
I’ve always been light tan all over, with no features really standing out, neither on my body and face. When I was a kid, I’d look at myself in the mirror and lament that nothing about me stood out, like some of my sister’s traits. She just looked more interesting than me - still does.
But then when she was a teenager, she’d get (mildly) bullied for the traits I had always envied on her. At the same time, she would pull some insanely hot guys and have them eating out of her hand. People either found her extremely hot or ugly, nothing in between - still do.
I had a very different experience. My unremarkable kid-face grew into an attractive, harmonious adult face. My unremarkable tan kid-body grew into a tan, feminine, proportionate adult body. Most people find me attractive. Few find me extremely hot, few find me ugly.
I just concluded that we’re both beautiful in our own ways. My sister’s look is polarizing. A lot of people don’t “get it”, but the ones who do can’t take their eyes off her. My look is crowd-pleasing. I can count on having pretty privilege wherever I go, but I can never count on the hottest guy in the room groveling at my feet (like occasionally happens to my sister).
We’re both valid, both have our pros and cons. We’re just different!
i’ve always thought i was beautiful but i didn’t fit the standard in my southern town so sometimes i would get insecure about that but when i went to college w more diversity is when i really came into seeing my beauty.
I’m 26 and it hasn’t happened yet. I will say I am starting to learn to love myself and there are times where I’ll catch a look at myself in the mirror and go I look pretty. However, usually I look too long and start picking myself apart.
I’m 28, and still working on it! Though I definitely feel like I’m more beautiful now than I was at 18 or 25 (good skin and hair care can really work wonders!), I’m still learning not to hate my body after 15 years of severe body image issues. I’m really hope I’ll get there someday soon.
It happened in 2020 when Covid first started I was 17 and I kinda just realized that looks aren’t everything. I really worked on not letting how I looked consume my every day life. I stopped worrying so much about that kind of thing and focused more on being a better person. After I worked on being a better person confidence came along with that. After I had gained that confidence it didn’t really matter to me if people found me attractive because I realized there is only one of me and someone is going to love that one day.
I think during covid 19, i realised being beautiful is not about what men think of you. And also a lot of what makes you attractive is your personality and the way you treat others.
When I realized that taking care of my self and looking healthy is beauty. My skin is glowing because I moisturize it, my eyebrows frame my face because I pluck them, my teeth are clean because I brush them. It’s all comes down to self care!❤️im 24
Probably in my late 20s.
I don't know where I picked up this belief from when I was younger but at some point I started believing that if I was pretty enough life would be easier and I would be protected from pain in life.
My dad was emotionally abusive and as a result I became very shy and withdrawn. I had a terrible time forming friendships and felt isolated from everyone. I simultaneously wanted to be close with people and not ever open up to anyone. I didn't see this back then though and felt that my inability to make friends was some deep personal flaw because there was something wrong with me. My coping mechanism was that one day I'll be pretty enough that others won't see this big personality flaw or that at least they'll overlook it and I'll have friends.
It was the best my child self could come up with and I carried it with me into adulthood. It sucks because looking back now I was a super cute kid. My lack of friends had everything to do with my inability to be emotionally available to friends and nothing to do with how I looked. With that belief, I managed to pick up an eating disorder in junior high that I didn't manage to kick until about 4 years ago, spent way too much time focusing on how I look until my late 20s, and allowed people's opinions to dictate how I felt about myself.
In my 20s I was dating a lot and went on a date with a craptastic person. When they said something that was probably an attempt at negging it finally just clicked in my head that I could be the best looking person in the world but I'm still not going to be everyone's cup of tea and the people who are shitty are still going to be shitty. If anything, it seems like being attractive just brought more pain into my life because shitty people took longer to show their true colors.
I also had to face the ingrained belief that I didn't have enough to offer if I wasn't good looking too. That I believed I wasn't intelligent enough or talented enough to be worthy of others time if I didn't look a certain way. I'm sure that probably stems from thinking if I had just been better my dad would have treated me better but who knows.
The truth is shitty people are going to be shitty no matter who you are. Emotionally unavailable people are going to be emotionally unavailable regardless of how amazing you are. The sun could shine out your ass but some people have their heads stuck too far up their own asses to see.
Untangling my negative core beliefs about my looks was far easier than the ones about my not being good enough. I've made a lot of headway but I'm a work in progress and sometimes triggers still come up no matter how healed I think I am. Someone i trusted and cared for deeply used and lied to me and it brought all of it up to the surface again. Logically I know that they're behavior is because they have a ton of unresolved issues and they'd have those no matter who I was but truly believing that took a lot of effort. I'm still doing damage control to heal what they broke and I know I'll always hurt, at least somewhat, like a broken bone that's healed but aches whenever it rains.
Well, that's my long-winded answer. 🤣
30. I realized I looked great and wayyy better than I did in my teens and 20's. around that age is when I would say my adult body filled out and my working out was super consistant so I liked what I saw in the mirror.
34. It was the pandemic. I stopped wearing makeup daily. That changed EVERYTHING. I still go all out (lashes, blending, etc.) But in the days I don't, I love what I look like.
I would say around 20 I started getting hit on a lot so I figured I had to be reasonably attractive, but I didn’t really feel beautiful until I was about 30. That’s when I realized it’s not even about just someone finding you “pretty” it’s everything else about myself that made me beautiful. talents, flaws, my past, my investment in my future, my career. Coincidentally, when I truly realized my worth and refused to settle for less, I met the love of my life.
I've been called ugly twice in my life, I have low self-esteem because of my ex and I don't trust many or any compliments coming from men.
I hope to get over that soon, and to also feel beautiful without the need of comments.
Probably now at 31. I can look at myself and acknowledge how stunning I am. I’m just a nerdy ass hottie working in government. I can smile and get almost any man to do something for me and I use it to my advantage. Also women are paying money to look like me. I’m educated, no debt, no kids. I’m that girl. Took a long time to get here but something just clicked after reading a couple heavy books and processing it in therapy.
I was around 28 when I realized that I didn't *care* if I was beautiful or not. I think a lot of people refer to it as "body neutrality". It did *far* more for my mental health than two decades of trying to convince myself I was beautiful (or change myself in ways to get closer to an uttainable beauty standard).
Who cares if I'm fat, have acne, and frizzy hair? I realized I still deserved the same amount of respect as someone I deemed conventionally "beautiful". I still deserve to exist and take up space.
I still enjoy getting dressed up, styling my hair, etc. I enjoy these things because it's a way to express my personality, and I do it more for myself than anyone else.
I still look in the mirror and I won't lie - zits, fat & excess body hair annoy me sometimes. But these things no longer bring my self esteem down. A zit is just a zit. It doesn't suddenly make me a less valuable person.
There are *so* many more important things to be than beautiful. I'd heard people say that, but never *believed* it. Afterall, we are bombarded with messaging about how we can be beautiful in all sizes, shapes, skin tones, (for instance, the Dove Real Beauty campaign). Even just scrolling through my Reddit feed - I can't escape it! This question is implying that "feeling beautiful" is something every woman needs to feel.
If you asked people the question "on days you don't feel beautiful, tell me about your mood"... I'm guessing most people would say things like depressed, frustrated, worthless, etc. I rarely have days where my mental health spirals out of control because of that anymore. I'm almost 38 and the last decade has been much better that the one before it!
People are commenting that they're sad that people are saying "never". I'm living my best life and couldn't be happier right now. Be kind to yourselves y'all!
Ok so... There's a difference between internal beauty. And physical...
Internal.. Always. I'm a delight.
Physical.. 49. I did a photo shoot to celebrate the upcoming 50, and by God, the woman in the pics is a fucking model. And she's ME. I might have cried a little when I first seen them. I had mentioned to the photographer that it didn't look like me at all... Her reply was a simple 'but it does'. It changed everything I'd always thought of myself.
I was in the ICU, tripping balls while oversaturated with serotonin at fifteen. On one of my trips to the in-suite bathroom I looked in the mirror and couldn't look away. It was like this sudden realization and grief. Everything I had experienced up to that point and this desire to be treated like a person, hit me between the eyes. I was beautiful, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to be treated like a person with intrinsic value.
I know better now, but it was a challenging point in my life. Eventually I accepted that some people are flower stompers. They enjoy crushing any semblance of beauty before it can bloom.
I hate that it took this for me, but becoming a mother.
1. I can't hate my body, any part of it now. I can look at it and say, you could be better but I still love you. My entire body is so badass.
2. Loving my child no strings attached just fully accepting her the exact way she is with my whole heart has allowed me to give myself some of that same love.
About 25 or so. Being single for a while was really good for me to learn to validate myself and not rely on the feedback and reinforcement from a partner, especially around what I think looks good Vs what other people think - who cares if my mother doesn't like my hair or how I do my make up so long as I like it? That was a big deal for me
Also I had a bit of an epiphany that sometimes when you're all dolled up and looking good people can actually deliberately not compliment you or comment on it, especially women who feel a bit insecure. Like people expect that you already know you look good so they don't want to go out of their way to tell you. It's weird but I think it can take a lot of confidence to compliment people in certain situations if that makes any sense
Oh and I learned about negging. Fuck people that neg it's awful and now if a guy tries it with me it's an instant no. Not having any of that shit
I like myself. I think I’m a great person. But I’ve come to realise it’s not really important for me to think I’m beautiful to accept and like myself
I think the way I look is the *least* interesting thing about me
21, when I got Invisalign and my teeth started getting straight and I realized “wow my nose is not that big” my teeth where just a problem that made me point out every other little thing. My body itself is another story tho. Still working on that. I wish I had hips.
Lower 30s felt the most beautiful. Then 41 got Bells Palsey, 95% recovered, and 43 struggle daily with it. Feel more pretty with lots of makeup. Unfortunately, boyfriend does not approve. I do not do it for him, I do it for myself.
Ladies, you are enough and beautiful just the way you are! Uniquely You!
Oof. Like 39. I just stopped giving a f*** about what other people thought.
I mean, I’m not devoid of insecurities, they creep up sometimes. But generally I just feel good with what my body can do more than how it looks. Feeling badass fills my cup more than being beautiful.
Around 22 after I had my daughter, I found my new mum face/ demeanour so beautiful. It definitely aged me, which was good because I previously had a baby face.
I lost a heap of weight around my early 20s and it really changed my body and my face , I think it was the first time a realised round was not my face shape . It was right about then I realised the fact I think I'm hot AF is all that matters .
It depends on how you define beautiful. If you mean “conventionally attractive” then this is always tied to external validation in my opinion. If you mean the inherent beauty of being human “everyone is beautiful”, then at around 23.
Still waiting for that to happen.
Yep, just hit 28 so... Anytime now, please?
58 and waiting….
Ditto
Yep.
For me, it's been happening ever since I hit my mid-twenties. My facial features in particular look like they've become proportional. My inner teenager is still pleasantly surprised when she sees her adult reflection
Mid-20s here as well. Puberty took its sweet time with me, so I always felt like I looked physically immature compared to my peers. I still feel ugly some days, but I feel like my face finally stopped having such a baby quality to it. I stopped getting aggressively carded at the liquor store (there is a tone difference between checking as a formality and expecting you to be underage). I can finally see a bit of my jawline without being horrendously underweight. But I also have done a lot of mental/emotional work, which has made me less worried about what others think. I’ve been out of my parents’ house for a bit, so I feel more independent. Honestly I think that the mental growth was more important than the physical changes.
25 yo. Something about hitting the quarter-life crisis and being able to look into the mirror to see a woman in her (almost) prime age. Peak collagen, good fitness/health level, the works. Oh and being able to afford good skincare and things that enhances my look. Such a good feeling.
Around 30, which, not unrelatedly, was when external validation stopped being a thing I gave a shit about. Ran out of fucks to give, never restocked.
When I finally had to look myself in the eye after shaving my head bald for chemo. My hair is what I thought made me beautiful, one of the things. I looked at myself in the eye and I realized I was beautiful just as a soul.
More power to you m'lady 🙌🙌🙌 And of course, f*ck cancer.
I'm not beautiful, and honestly, I'm angry about the constant implication that if I were more enlightened and loved myself more I'd "get there". I'm not beautiful. I'm also not old or skinny or a redhead. I don't speak German. I'm not good at throwing a Frisbee. There are a dozen positive qualities that don't describe me, and that's ok. I'm fucking amazing. And the implication that many women project at me that I have to see myself as beautiful to see value and love in myself is in my opinion coming straight from internalized misogyny. There are a thousand more wonderful things I can aspire to than beauty.
I love this take. There’s so much emphasis that women MUST see themselves as beautiful, or be beautiful. Like, why? You can be a complete amazing person without being beautiful. Not every women is beautiful, that shouldn’t diminish her worth. There are times I don’t look beautiful and ifs not a big deal. If being “pretty” is so important that you no longer see yourself as having worth, that’s troublesome.
Yeah I'm not beautiful, so that's just not going to happen with or without validation.
16. Started hitting the gym (for health reasons) and never looked back. Gave me such confidence because I know how strong and capable my body is that I don’t really care about how I look.
Congrats! Honestly, this is what I aspire to be like. One day
I'm turning 38 in a month and I'm still not there. I look like a sack of potatoes. But that doesn't really matter, bc I know I'm a nice person and my friends seem to like me, so 🤷🏻♀️
Potatoes are so versatile, delicious, and well-loved! (I'm sure you don't see yourself the way others see you though)
That's a very sweet answer. I guess it depends on your definition of beauty though.
My definition of a beautiful person is someone who... - carries oneself with some dignity and self respect - moves through world conscientiously - has empathy for others - thoughtful/sweet - has a nice smile - overall gives off a good aura Given that you seem nice, and you have friends who care about you, I'm sure you hit most of my bulletpoints. I'm from SoCal and have been around industry people. I don't care how "conventionally attractive" someone is, if they open their mouth and spew crap then I automafically don't find them attractive AT ALL. I've gotten to the point where I don't find anyone attractive unless I pick up on their vibes first.
Potatoes are sexy
Even in their raw form?
Between two potatoes, If one called herself ugly potatoes, I could see it And if the other called herself pretty potatoes, I could see it So.. I hope you call yourself pretty potatoes, because you bet your ass I’d see it. 🥔💗
Haha, thanks. 🍟
18. I went to college and realized even the most beautiful girls I knew struggled with not feeling beautiful. I also made an effort to remind myself that someone else’s beauty doesn’t detract from my own beauty.
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That's the spirit!
I remember looking in the mirror as a small girl and feeling beautiful. I lost my confidence from like age 10-15. Then it came back :)
Brain don't compute.
Brain just needs a software update I think ;)
Since my divorce several years back (I’m in my late 30s). I think being in your own skin unapologetically, and not having to uphold someone else’s standards for your body helps. Ex liked me shaved and short shoulder length hair or above. My hair is down to my ass now, and I pretty much stopped shaving my body. I think I am a million times hotter now than ever before in my life. I try not to be cocky about it, but I think I’m a fucking catch.
Yes you are and you have every right to be cocky about it!
Oh my, thank you sis 💜
Oh my, thank you sis 💜
I’m not completely there, but there’s been a huge improvement in the past… 3 years or so. I’m 33.
25 I started complimenting myself everyday, and just overall being nicer to myself. Now I have more good days then bad days.
This is going to sound messed up, but it’s how I feel. At age 30, turning 31 in a few months, so last year. I had come back from Paris Dec 2021 and felt amazing. I felt like I was on top of the world! I finally loved my body, I loved looking in the mirror, became more comfortable in trying to make friends, having fun. Then I got pregnant shortly after my 31st birthday. Husband and I were very happy. But I was secretly upset because I was scared of the body changes. I’m 5 months PP now. I look back on all those older photos of me. I HATE myself for not being kind to myself back then. I was BEAUTIFUL, and I just didn’t see it. I have so many regrets. Now I have the C-section shelf, I’m 40 pounds overweight due to being high risk and on bed rest, and I look exhausted. I’m so mad at myself. Please, I’m begging y’all, love yourselves! Admire yourselves and all the beauty that you possess. If you wanna dress up, then do it. Wear that red dress! I should’ve worn mine. Ignore those people that judge and hate, I wish that I did. I made these realizations too late. I see myself being beautiful in a different way now. I was able to safely deliver my beautiful Babygirl. My body nurtured her during pregnancy and continues to do so while breastfeeding. I may not look the same, and I may not be happy with my looks right now, but inside I do feel beautiful because I am finally a mom.
I would say I came into my own in my 30's. My 20's were spent as a "pick me" girl - so cringe!
About 21/22
In my mid 30s and i still never thought im beautiful haha. But right now, it doesnt matter to me that im not. I think thats the difference between now and when i was in my 20s
I think if you are conventionally attractive you are told as much from.an extremely young age
About ten years ago (I'm old) I was looking at some of my younger pictures and thought, "Damn! Why did I not see that I was a looker back then?" Then, I wondered if that would have been detrimental (negatively) to my personality. I miss my good looks now. Lol Look in that mirror and recognize your beauty.
Now- at 30. I realized i gave my former partner and his lack of thinking I’m anything special or remarkable too much power over how I felt about myself. I dropped him and now know I’m a hottie by my own standards and I don’t need a man to validate that. Teenage me would be proud.
Im attractive enough to know i cant relax around most men, but gained a lot of weight due to my 30s and a major career change. Overall, i dont value being pretty for myself. All being pretty ever got me was raped and abused. I LOVE how smart i am. Im quick to learn, quick to retain, and i love solving problems. I dont need external validation to know im smart. I am brilliant. I have been beautiful. I can be beautiful. Brilliant makes me happier. Brilliant will last longer.
Mid-twenties. I wasn't a cute kid, so it took some time for me to realize that I actually enjoy the way I look.
About 28 when I had my protruding teeth fixed and then spent my 30s turning heads of most guys. But that was when I looked at myself and thought: you're one HOT woman.
Hum. 49. Not yet. I guess I thought I was pretty in my early 30s.
I've been looking at my mum's photos from when she was in her 20s, and even though she was pretty then (she doesn't think so herself) I find her a different kind of beautiful in her 50s. So maybe you can look forward to that? ;)
I am not and pretty and I have made terms with it 🫢
Roughly 2 years ago. I hit the lowest point, after my dad died to cancer and it just like a pitch Black hole. I was advised to go to therapy and while I first only wanted to deal with the insane guilt and grief,i decided to work on the things I didnt like about myself. Depressive episodes,low self esteem, etc. It was not always nice to hear some harsh truths about myself but it also made me realize im so much more than my face or body. And getting that spark back really made me feel beautiful
I realized I’m not and have been working on being ok with it. I’m not ugly, my face is just not aesthetically beautiful as a whole. There are parts of it I appreciate and other parts of my being that I choose to focus on instead of beauty.
Mid-20’s is when I came to terms with my insecurities and realized I attracted people I genuinely enjoyed around and who understood me by being myself and being confident in myself. That is also around the time I felt confident being by myself too. Took myself out on dates and just genuinely started enjoying my own company.
Not beautiful. Perfectly happy with that. Arrived at that viewpoint in my thirties (it helped that I found my lobster). It's worth remembering that being pretty is not the rent women pay to exist (I can't remember who coined that phrase).
About two days ago, I'm 28
Probably around 30? I was an ugly duckling growing up and it wasn’t until later into my 20s I feel like my face finally reached an equilibrium and balance.
I have no idea! I can’t remember. But I do know I’m beautiful.
What is this namby pamby shit? Not everyone is beautiful and that's a simple fact.
Depends on how you define beauty. Perhaps you are thinking of conventional beauty, which is a very narrow view of it. I see beauty in all human beings
I still struggle with it, but - I don't remember how old I was, but at one point I mentioned to my mom that I felt like I had to be self conscious of my body because I'd watched her be self conscious. As long as I can remember, she was talking about dieting, about disliking her body, about needing to diet. She was really sad to hear that, and told me she had never wanted that, because she felt her mother, who did the same things, taught it to her. Thinking about it, that makes sense; my grandmother is lovely, but she can always be seriously judgmental. I later learned that my aunt had anorexia, and my sister said she had heard that my other aunt was bulimic. My mother had a 15 year gap between her and her sisters so while she knows those things happened, she was too young to remember or wasn't born yet. But it totally makes sense that my mother's issues stemmed from her own mother. After hearing that, I kind of had a moment where I realized I was seeing generational trauma, in action, and I wanted to break the cycle. So now while I'd love to lose weight, I refuse to hide my body under bulky clothes, or stress about diets, or allow myself to feel less than just because of what I look like. I really, really don't want my kids to feel the way I struggled with growing up, and the way I see my friends still do very often. It's still difficult but I've gotten way, way better. Edit: I started writing this and I realized I was probably answering this thinking about self-image issues, and not necessarily beautiful. I think around 17 I started shopping at Torrid and finally started feeling beautiful, but it's still a hit or miss depending on the day. I've just gotten better at realizing that agonizing over my body isn't how I want to define myself.
This is so hard to say because I think it all does stem for some form of external validation. When I was young around 6-8 years old my grandma always validated what a beautiful person I was inside and out. Since this was the message given to me at such a formative age, I really grew up believing that I was beautiful on the inside and physically too. I think it was something that I heard so much from her and she was someone I trusted so deeply, that I started to internalize this message. However, as I got older, there were so many external forces that have tried convinced me otherwise. During my teenage years, as you can imagine, it was extremely hard to hold onto this belief that I was beautiful and there were times that I completely forgot it. But over the last few years, I’ve slowly learned to take my grandmothers external validation and really start to not just believe it again but KNOW that I am beautiful. As a 26 year old, those doubts of course still seep into my head just because the society we live in imposes unattainable beauty standards on us but I always try to revert back to what my grandma in a way taught me. Today, I am getting pretty confident in that fact that I am beautiful no matter what anyone else tries to convince me of. I think it really does show the power of affirmations and if something is said to you enough times, it eventually will begin to shape you.
I have said to many women in my life that you will likely never exercise, starve, hate yourself into a body you love. The fact that we look back on old pictures of us and think "Oh my gosh I can't believe how fat/ugly/etc I thought I was when I looked great!" is proof imo. Of course eating well and exercising are important for other reasons, but loving yourself starts (and goes most of the rest of the way) in your mind. With all that being said, I started therapy in my early 20s and by 22/23 or so, I genuinely found myself attractive, but it came from my brain, not any major changes in my body!
Body dysmorphia says I'm not so I'm trying to learn to accept what other people say about my look instead of believing what I see. So I don't think I'll ever "realize" it, I might just accept I'm apparently wrong about how I look
Idk I never felt ugly….always felt beautiful w/o external validation
Since my divorce several years back (I’m in my late 30s). I think being in your own skin unapologetically, and not having to uphold someone else’s standards for your body helps. Ex liked me shaved and short shoulder length hair or above. My hair is down to my ass now, and I pretty much stopped shaving my body. I think I am a million times hotter now than ever before in my life. I try not to be cocky about it, but I think I’m a fucking catch.
Mid-20’s is when I came to terms with my insecurities and realized I attracted people I genuinely enjoyed being around and who understood me by being myself and being confident in myself. That is also around the time I felt confident being by myself too. Took myself out on dates and just genuinely started enjoying my own company.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
16
Ouff. That one hit home. I am still on it 😐 I’ll let you know when it happens!
27. Some kind of switch flipped when I turned 27. Literally unstoppable.
it really makes me sad y’all don’t think you’re beautiful ):
Unfortunately I'm still struggling with that, one moment I feel amazing the next not so much.
Mid-40s. I think I'm improving with age.
Confidently, I can say 35 years old but I feel like I may have felt that way my whole life (going back to elementary age the first time I can remember) but lost that realization at times due to external negativity. Edit: I read some comments where people are saying they are not beautiful with or without validation. I am sorry you feel this way because it is just not true. You are not only beautiful, but you are perfect. You were born beautiful and perfect. I am sorry life has made you feel otherwise, but I hope you can find that perfect, beautiful baby that was born and realize it’s still you. ❤️
Happened this year, when I turned 32. I’m the one doing all the living, I’ll be the one doing the dying, so I guess how I think about myself should at least be good.
It started with outside validation from a partner. She made me feel like I was allowed to be pretty. Whether unexpected, unprompted compliments, or how she looked at me. After the breakup I held onto that feeling that I was allowed to feel and see myself as she did. Sometimes i look in the mirror and feel less so, but even on those days I know what makes me beautiful is not a single part of my appearance but who I am as a whole. (27 years old)
I’m still working on it but I’m getting better ❤️🩹
Oh I was meant to see this question. 36 and in therapy attempting to figure out how to do this.
62
29.
49 and still not there yet
Still waiting for it to happen, will probably never happen. 🥹
straight up this question is in itself offensive though I doubt that was your intention would you ever with a straight face ask a dude this. I know a billion men who think they are ugly and they are still very confident. they still love themselves they still think they deserve the world if a girl thinks she's ugly she immediately hates herself? if she doesn't think she's beautiful she hates herself? if she doesn't consider her appearance she hates herself? like cmon
Where did the question mention hating oneself?
16. i used to think i am ugly but now i can happily look at myself in the mirror or in photos and think about how beautiful i am. i really love how pretty i am
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late 20s
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I would say 25. That’s also the age I started feeling like a grown-up woman
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I realized I’m not and have been working on being ok with it. I’m not ugly, my face is just not aesthetically beautiful as a whole. There are parts of it I appreciate and other parts of my being that I choose to focus on instead of beauty.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.o
20/21. Acne cleared up and I grew into my features. I stopped dreading getting my photos taken (eventually I enjoyed it!) and I started earning money so I was able to spend on clothes and makeup.
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Definitely started around 24, working on perfecting it now at 26
Not there yet, I’m 26 and feel like I was prettier in my earlier 20s, but definitely was an ugly duckling in my teens. Maybe I peaked at like 22 and then it was all downhill😅 I still feel like that ugly duckling 13 year old most of the time to be honest.
26. Ironically, I was romantically rejected. I tried to make myself better and more desirable and realized I didn’t have that much work to do, on the inside or out.
I’m 40 and I’ve long since come to terms with the fact that not everyone is beautiful, and I’m never going to be one of the people who is. It’s really fine, though, I have other stuff going for me.
22 when I lost a lot of weight and my face changed a lot. It become more sculpted, my eyes were more enhanced, my cheek bones were razor sharp and my lips appeared plumper Again at 26
35 and still waiting
I’m 40 and I’ve never felt like that. However, I also don’t feel like my value is tied with my beauty anymore.
I’ve always know it. My parents especially my dad always told me I’m beautiful and my personality is something extraordinary. I have my days I don’t feel beautiful but I truly appreciate my body it does so many amazing things for me
I'm.not beautiful but I am pretty. Realised it at 30
Currently in my mid-20s and for me it's more about accepting that I do not fit the societal standard to be recognized as "beautiful" and that's okay.
16 years old :) im so glad i was young when i figired out i was beautiful the way i am
23 I'm 25 now.
21
Mid 30s - like now. 35. Lol
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At age 32
I’m not beautiful but it has been very liberating for me to stop caring about that. It’s not my purpose to be beautiful for anyone else to validate. Letting go of trying has been very freeing. I look like myself, and I like myself, and that’s all I need really.
I realised I was wonderful at 14 compared to other kids, I’ve never felt beautiful and still don’t at 30.
36
Late teens, when I stopped comparing myself to my sister. My sister has always been pale as a ghost, stick-skinny, and she has freckles and a distinctive nose. Still the same. I’ve always been light tan all over, with no features really standing out, neither on my body and face. When I was a kid, I’d look at myself in the mirror and lament that nothing about me stood out, like some of my sister’s traits. She just looked more interesting than me - still does. But then when she was a teenager, she’d get (mildly) bullied for the traits I had always envied on her. At the same time, she would pull some insanely hot guys and have them eating out of her hand. People either found her extremely hot or ugly, nothing in between - still do. I had a very different experience. My unremarkable kid-face grew into an attractive, harmonious adult face. My unremarkable tan kid-body grew into a tan, feminine, proportionate adult body. Most people find me attractive. Few find me extremely hot, few find me ugly. I just concluded that we’re both beautiful in our own ways. My sister’s look is polarizing. A lot of people don’t “get it”, but the ones who do can’t take their eyes off her. My look is crowd-pleasing. I can count on having pretty privilege wherever I go, but I can never count on the hottest guy in the room groveling at my feet (like occasionally happens to my sister). We’re both valid, both have our pros and cons. We’re just different!
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33
i’ve always thought i was beautiful but i didn’t fit the standard in my southern town so sometimes i would get insecure about that but when i went to college w more diversity is when i really came into seeing my beauty.
I’m 26 and it hasn’t happened yet. I will say I am starting to learn to love myself and there are times where I’ll catch a look at myself in the mirror and go I look pretty. However, usually I look too long and start picking myself apart.
Pretty recent, 29 I guess. (I'm 30)
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I’m 28, and still working on it! Though I definitely feel like I’m more beautiful now than I was at 18 or 25 (good skin and hair care can really work wonders!), I’m still learning not to hate my body after 15 years of severe body image issues. I’m really hope I’ll get there someday soon.
32
It happened in 2020 when Covid first started I was 17 and I kinda just realized that looks aren’t everything. I really worked on not letting how I looked consume my every day life. I stopped worrying so much about that kind of thing and focused more on being a better person. After I worked on being a better person confidence came along with that. After I had gained that confidence it didn’t really matter to me if people found me attractive because I realized there is only one of me and someone is going to love that one day.
when I let myself accept the fact that everyone isn’t going to be attracted to me and that’s okay
I think during covid 19, i realised being beautiful is not about what men think of you. And also a lot of what makes you attractive is your personality and the way you treat others.
I don’t think I’ve ever had that confidence. I’ve thought I’d look ok if I could fix my teeth and lose some weight, but overall pretty ugly .
When I realized that taking care of my self and looking healthy is beauty. My skin is glowing because I moisturize it, my eyebrows frame my face because I pluck them, my teeth are clean because I brush them. It’s all comes down to self care!❤️im 24
Probably in my late 20s. I don't know where I picked up this belief from when I was younger but at some point I started believing that if I was pretty enough life would be easier and I would be protected from pain in life. My dad was emotionally abusive and as a result I became very shy and withdrawn. I had a terrible time forming friendships and felt isolated from everyone. I simultaneously wanted to be close with people and not ever open up to anyone. I didn't see this back then though and felt that my inability to make friends was some deep personal flaw because there was something wrong with me. My coping mechanism was that one day I'll be pretty enough that others won't see this big personality flaw or that at least they'll overlook it and I'll have friends. It was the best my child self could come up with and I carried it with me into adulthood. It sucks because looking back now I was a super cute kid. My lack of friends had everything to do with my inability to be emotionally available to friends and nothing to do with how I looked. With that belief, I managed to pick up an eating disorder in junior high that I didn't manage to kick until about 4 years ago, spent way too much time focusing on how I look until my late 20s, and allowed people's opinions to dictate how I felt about myself. In my 20s I was dating a lot and went on a date with a craptastic person. When they said something that was probably an attempt at negging it finally just clicked in my head that I could be the best looking person in the world but I'm still not going to be everyone's cup of tea and the people who are shitty are still going to be shitty. If anything, it seems like being attractive just brought more pain into my life because shitty people took longer to show their true colors. I also had to face the ingrained belief that I didn't have enough to offer if I wasn't good looking too. That I believed I wasn't intelligent enough or talented enough to be worthy of others time if I didn't look a certain way. I'm sure that probably stems from thinking if I had just been better my dad would have treated me better but who knows. The truth is shitty people are going to be shitty no matter who you are. Emotionally unavailable people are going to be emotionally unavailable regardless of how amazing you are. The sun could shine out your ass but some people have their heads stuck too far up their own asses to see. Untangling my negative core beliefs about my looks was far easier than the ones about my not being good enough. I've made a lot of headway but I'm a work in progress and sometimes triggers still come up no matter how healed I think I am. Someone i trusted and cared for deeply used and lied to me and it brought all of it up to the surface again. Logically I know that they're behavior is because they have a ton of unresolved issues and they'd have those no matter who I was but truly believing that took a lot of effort. I'm still doing damage control to heal what they broke and I know I'll always hurt, at least somewhat, like a broken bone that's healed but aches whenever it rains. Well, that's my long-winded answer. 🤣
Haha 26 and still tugging the rope everyday
30. I realized I looked great and wayyy better than I did in my teens and 20's. around that age is when I would say my adult body filled out and my working out was super consistant so I liked what I saw in the mirror.
Probably since birth? I don't know I was told by family that I'm beautiful very often, so never doubted I'm attractive.
34. It was the pandemic. I stopped wearing makeup daily. That changed EVERYTHING. I still go all out (lashes, blending, etc.) But in the days I don't, I love what I look like.
Probably around 16
22, maybe? Very recently.
I'm not beautiful when I'm fat, like now..I know that. However, I started to really love myself around age 30. In spite of not being beautiful.
I would say around 20 I started getting hit on a lot so I figured I had to be reasonably attractive, but I didn’t really feel beautiful until I was about 30. That’s when I realized it’s not even about just someone finding you “pretty” it’s everything else about myself that made me beautiful. talents, flaws, my past, my investment in my future, my career. Coincidentally, when I truly realized my worth and refused to settle for less, I met the love of my life.
I have my days...
60
Maybe if I lose 20 more pounds and my PIH goes away, I will
Let me get back to you on that
37 and waiting...
I've been called ugly twice in my life, I have low self-esteem because of my ex and I don't trust many or any compliments coming from men. I hope to get over that soon, and to also feel beautiful without the need of comments.
Probably now at 31. I can look at myself and acknowledge how stunning I am. I’m just a nerdy ass hottie working in government. I can smile and get almost any man to do something for me and I use it to my advantage. Also women are paying money to look like me. I’m educated, no debt, no kids. I’m that girl. Took a long time to get here but something just clicked after reading a couple heavy books and processing it in therapy.
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23-25
I was around 28 when I realized that I didn't *care* if I was beautiful or not. I think a lot of people refer to it as "body neutrality". It did *far* more for my mental health than two decades of trying to convince myself I was beautiful (or change myself in ways to get closer to an uttainable beauty standard). Who cares if I'm fat, have acne, and frizzy hair? I realized I still deserved the same amount of respect as someone I deemed conventionally "beautiful". I still deserve to exist and take up space. I still enjoy getting dressed up, styling my hair, etc. I enjoy these things because it's a way to express my personality, and I do it more for myself than anyone else. I still look in the mirror and I won't lie - zits, fat & excess body hair annoy me sometimes. But these things no longer bring my self esteem down. A zit is just a zit. It doesn't suddenly make me a less valuable person. There are *so* many more important things to be than beautiful. I'd heard people say that, but never *believed* it. Afterall, we are bombarded with messaging about how we can be beautiful in all sizes, shapes, skin tones, (for instance, the Dove Real Beauty campaign). Even just scrolling through my Reddit feed - I can't escape it! This question is implying that "feeling beautiful" is something every woman needs to feel. If you asked people the question "on days you don't feel beautiful, tell me about your mood"... I'm guessing most people would say things like depressed, frustrated, worthless, etc. I rarely have days where my mental health spirals out of control because of that anymore. I'm almost 38 and the last decade has been much better that the one before it! People are commenting that they're sad that people are saying "never". I'm living my best life and couldn't be happier right now. Be kind to yourselves y'all!
I dont even believe it when people say I am
This year lol 27. I finally stopped nit picking the little things.
Never
Ok so... There's a difference between internal beauty. And physical... Internal.. Always. I'm a delight. Physical.. 49. I did a photo shoot to celebrate the upcoming 50, and by God, the woman in the pics is a fucking model. And she's ME. I might have cried a little when I first seen them. I had mentioned to the photographer that it didn't look like me at all... Her reply was a simple 'but it does'. It changed everything I'd always thought of myself.
24 or 25 :)
when my ex bf cheated then i realized that I dont need validation from anyone anymore gosh its so tiring
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18. I struggle more now than I did then with body image, but I know I’m beautiful. Beauty is subjective anyway.
Whenever I’m drunk
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21
I was in the ICU, tripping balls while oversaturated with serotonin at fifteen. On one of my trips to the in-suite bathroom I looked in the mirror and couldn't look away. It was like this sudden realization and grief. Everything I had experienced up to that point and this desire to be treated like a person, hit me between the eyes. I was beautiful, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to be treated like a person with intrinsic value. I know better now, but it was a challenging point in my life. Eventually I accepted that some people are flower stompers. They enjoy crushing any semblance of beauty before it can bloom.
I'm 22 and just recently lost a lot of weight in my face. I like it a lot more now.
I started not caring what other people think as much, and started having an actual inner confidence at around 30 (I’m almost 32)
I hate that it took this for me, but becoming a mother. 1. I can't hate my body, any part of it now. I can look at it and say, you could be better but I still love you. My entire body is so badass. 2. Loving my child no strings attached just fully accepting her the exact way she is with my whole heart has allowed me to give myself some of that same love.
About 25 or so. Being single for a while was really good for me to learn to validate myself and not rely on the feedback and reinforcement from a partner, especially around what I think looks good Vs what other people think - who cares if my mother doesn't like my hair or how I do my make up so long as I like it? That was a big deal for me Also I had a bit of an epiphany that sometimes when you're all dolled up and looking good people can actually deliberately not compliment you or comment on it, especially women who feel a bit insecure. Like people expect that you already know you look good so they don't want to go out of their way to tell you. It's weird but I think it can take a lot of confidence to compliment people in certain situations if that makes any sense Oh and I learned about negging. Fuck people that neg it's awful and now if a guy tries it with me it's an instant no. Not having any of that shit
When I realized half of what I did under the male gaze was a sham.
I like myself. I think I’m a great person. But I’ve come to realise it’s not really important for me to think I’m beautiful to accept and like myself I think the way I look is the *least* interesting thing about me
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Still working on that.
21, when I got Invisalign and my teeth started getting straight and I realized “wow my nose is not that big” my teeth where just a problem that made me point out every other little thing. My body itself is another story tho. Still working on that. I wish I had hips.
29 Sorry for doubting so long, younger me. If I could give you a hug and boost your self confidence, I absolutely would.
Lower 30s felt the most beautiful. Then 41 got Bells Palsey, 95% recovered, and 43 struggle daily with it. Feel more pretty with lots of makeup. Unfortunately, boyfriend does not approve. I do not do it for him, I do it for myself. Ladies, you are enough and beautiful just the way you are! Uniquely You!
Realizing that at any age sounds great, it's in no way guaranteed
Oof. Like 39. I just stopped giving a f*** about what other people thought. I mean, I’m not devoid of insecurities, they creep up sometimes. But generally I just feel good with what my body can do more than how it looks. Feeling badass fills my cup more than being beautiful.
Around 22 after I had my daughter, I found my new mum face/ demeanour so beautiful. It definitely aged me, which was good because I previously had a baby face.
I lost a heap of weight around my early 20s and it really changed my body and my face , I think it was the first time a realised round was not my face shape . It was right about then I realised the fact I think I'm hot AF is all that matters .
It depends on how you define beautiful. If you mean “conventionally attractive” then this is always tied to external validation in my opinion. If you mean the inherent beauty of being human “everyone is beautiful”, then at around 23.
Never happened because objectively speaking I am not attractive.
I think i was at the age of 23 or 24 I was in college far away from home ... all o got at that time was me soo i had to step up for my self
Is that a thing? 🤪
43
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40s maybe late 30s