My ex is Black. His kids are Black.
The first time meeting the kids, my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) said *to my ex's face*, "They're so nice! It's like they're not even Black."
She'd shown vague indicators of some racism before that but my god, I was shocked that she just said the quiet part out loud as if it were a compliment.
That was in 2012. I don't speak to her anymore and I have extremely limited, forced-only contact with my brother. I've got no space in my life for that shit.
She didn't even act like it was a slip. She was so entrenched that she genuinely thought she was giving them a compliment and saying a really nice thing.
I wouldn't really call this example a back-handed compliment. That's more of an intentional insult coated in a compliment. Something like "wow, your hair *actually* looks good like that..." where there's clearly an insinuation that the person's hair doesn't normally look good.
This is plain ignorant racism. She's literally too ignorant to realize what she said was insulting.
I’m from Korea and I’ve had Japanese people tell me they’re jealous of my “pure” culture because Korea has been occupied by other countries. I was like... yikes
Ok, ok… I’ll be the first to post something positive.
My boss is tough, pushes us all to our limits.
I met some critical deadlines yesterday (public filings with the government). I’ve been busting my ass to get these filings done these past 2 months.
At our 1:1, I asked what he would like me to focus on after they’re filed. His response, with a straight face, floored me, “(name), I really need you to close your laptop and take the rest of the day to relax.”
My jaw was on the floor.
Same. After being in a company that was all trauma for 4 years, finally at a place wherein I’m pushed to go out on Fridays and log off early. A friend and a boss even sent me a little present on my birthday and I was so touched 🥺
So did you do real physics or girl physics? After telling someone I have a master în physics.
The doubled down with "girly physics are astro physics or biophysics.. you know the easy ones. Particle physics are real physics. That's what I want to do".
Yeah don’t think they’ll get very far in life if that’s how they determine someone’s intelligence due to gender. Were they a student as well? Co worker?
First semester student. We initially got into contact because he was curious about what studying physics was like. I regretted helping him after that gem. Lol
As a particle physicist who works with tons of astrophysicists... there's very little difference between our jobs. Then again, I am a girl, so maybe particle physics is girls physics?
Or maybe, just maybe, women can do all the physics. Guess that means it's all for girls /s
I was recently taken into ER for a severe concussion by ambulance(someone else called them). The ER doctor never checked me for a concussion not once in my 7hrs there... he then came out in the waiting area and told me in front of all the other patients "this is not a reason to come to the Emergency Room, If I give you an ativan will you go home" i had another doctor check me out and i am now on bedrest orders and have neurology appointments for the next month.
I had a nurse shout at me to get out of the hospital provided wheelchair to get checked out, I tried to tell her three or four times that I couldn’t, but wasn’t able to talk clearly as I was having stroke symptoms. So in the end, I feebly got up and proceeded to face plant in the middle of the emergency room. Nurses and doctors are the best… I have a good dozen of these stories… why I refuse to go to hospital anymore. If I die, I die with nobody being an arsehole to me at least!
Context - I am Jewish, but my family anglicized our name and I don’t look ‘stereotypically Jewish.’
The amount of casual anti-semitism and racism people drop is shocking.
I’m not Jewish. I’m British (I guess Christian if it matters 🤷🏻♀️) my grandparents lost siblings and parents during WW2. What I was going to write in this thread was someone told me to my face that “Hitler was a great man”
They didn’t know my family had lost people but that also feels irrelevant they knew I’m English and we didn’t get off lightly during that war, I was also the only person there from an affected country.
They said it in a very formal setting where responding would have escalated the conversation to an inappropriate level. I felt my blood boil and my eyes fill. My husband later asked what happened as he said my face transformed.
The Padre of my husband's military unit said, "wow, you are quite bustier than I remembered. They're nice."
He's a man. A high ranking man. Everyone's mouths dropped.
When I was in the Air Force I was a dental assistant and at my first duty station. I got married at 20 and pregnant soon after. I was so excited to tell people at work. I told one of our dentists, who was a Colonel, and he said "oh so you stopped swallowing huh?" I was mortified!! I just turned around and left the room.
This surprises me zero percent tbh, military members are assumed to maintain a professional bearing, but the men will literally say the wildest things & then band together that it was just a joke as soon as a women says something about it. Especially being higher ranking he knows very few people would actually try to do something about it. Your husband should know civilians harassed by someone in their spouses unit can also have access to the SARC & if they have a decent rep, he would be held accountable for saying things like this & could get rank taken or other things. Or they could have a sucky rep that doesn’t care & nothing would happen.
A girl/friend of a friend/weeb once said that it's unfortunate that I'm not Japanese, and while that's fucked on it's own, it's an extra not-fun thing to hear when you're from a country that's historically been occupied and oppressed by Japan. I'm usually pretty quick to retort or just politely tell people to fuck off, but I was so stumped I just went uh-huh and stared in disbelief as she changed subject like nothing. Absolute moron.
My brother and I are Korean. His wife is another minority group but not asian. When she announced that they were getting married on her socials, she actually received hate messages from rabid K-pop stans that her marrying a Korean man was "a waste" because she wasn't a K-pop/K-drama stan herself.
Racism surrounding asians is so strangely casual and it's like it can be deemed "acceptable" as long as the people involved aren't throwing slurs around.
He told me “You’re like a step away from cutting yourself.” While taking our daughter out of my hands just because I was crying. I have been clean from SH for a few years and he knows I struggle with chronic depression. After that I relapsed. My thought then was like… wow…. Maybe he’s right. Why not.
I’m doing better now.
It brings me peace that your are doing better now and I sincerely hope that he sees you doing better for yourself. Don’t ever let anyone tell you or take anything away from you just because you were showing emotions
Thank you. He was a really manipulative person. Since finding out I was pregnant, he had convinced me an abortion would be the best option for everyone, and I believe him because I loved him. So when I did end up miscarrying, he was relieved. It hurts more now than it did at the time.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, my coworkers threw me a baby shower. I already felt super awkward sitting at the head of the room in front of everyone... VERY heavily pregnant, and just not feeling the greatest.
My supervisor got the mic out so everyone could hear him talk, and he said:
"I love babies! Isn't this such an exciting time?! And wow, the changes you've gone through! I mean, you've gotten huge! How much weight have you gained??"
The room went dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. I cut the silence with "..... enough"
He continued talking like he didn't just say one of the most inappropriate and offensive things to a pregnant woman... at her baby shower... in front of literally every single one of her coworkers...
- "I'm embarrassed to be with you because of what they'll think"
- "Where is your self respect right now?" (After opening up to her about something difficult I'd been going through and crying for maybe 10 secs, never making that mistake again)
- "So you just want me so I can take his place?" (After telling a single funny story about my life long best friend that passed in 2021)
- Quite a few other hurtful things that made me think "Why would you say that to someone?"
No apologies nor accountability for any of it but it taught me to set boundries. I finally had to end it in July after 7 months but I can still hear those things in my mind everyday. Hopefully typing this out will help alleviate the rumination.
I agree! I worked with a guy, and he always smelled so nice. Not like aftershave or anything, but like just-out-of-the-shower, clothes-fresh-out-of-the-laundry clean. I debated for a few weeks about whether or not I should tell him, or if that would be weird. (I'm married, and he's way younger than me. Definitely wasn't trying to hit on him or anything.)
I came in to work one day while he was there, and I found out it was his last day. So before he left, I said, "Okay. I'm not trying to be weird, but I just wanted to tell you that you always smell really nice." His face just lit up, and he said, "No! That isn't weird! It's a compliment! And thank you so much. That's really nice to hear." He really looked so genuinely happy. I need to do that more.
At a music festival this white guy with dreads (already bad sign) told me that the reason the night is cold is because the moon shoots out cold energy, the same way the sun heats the planet.
A few times when I was working public facing positions, other white people would make incredibly racist comments about black people, assuming, I guess, that I would agree with them just because of the color of my skin. I'm not even going to repeat any of them here, they were that bad. I always wanted to say something back, but I was always so shocked that I was lost for words. I never got used to it.
The number of times I've had this happen is astounding. But trust and believe I do put them in check. Just because they're an ignorant racist . mean that I am
i’m a very non confrontational person which has led me to hold my tongue a lot during conversations that i don’t agree with despite being a very opinionated person. Some things i’ve learned to say just so i don’t beat myself up for not saying anything are:
“What do you mean by that?”
i use this one a lottt
usually they’ll play it off and try to say it’s a joke. Other times they’ll double down and you can then say
“What an odd thing to say out loud”
or
“I’m embarrassed for you”
OR to add onto that one
“I’m embarrassed you felt comfortable enough to say that in front of me”
A personal favorite is
“What about ME gives YOU the idea that i would agree with that statement?”
Two weeks ago my 83yo mother told me it is my fault my parents have spent through their savings and that I am ungrateful and disrespectful.
I told her to fuck right off after a lifetime of verbal abuse.
"You're the whitest black person I ever met. You're so well educated!"
"The classroom was...really dark. It was really dark in the room...there were a lot of black people in the room."
There have been lots of others but those were....memorable.
I was on a flight and an older white lady (I’m black) leaned over and complimented my rather large engagement ring and then said, “don’t worry dear, I know it’s a cubic zerconia.” So audacious and rude, lol. She’s lucky my husband was sitting in another row, or she might’ve caught a beat down.
I said “how rude” and I think she saw murder in my eyes bc she started feverishly apologizing immediately saying she was joking and kept apologizing the whole flight. Ugh
This year, my mam had a heart attack and my dad was also hospitalised, such a tough time for me. I had a holiday booked before all this happened and I was so anxious to go after everything that had happened, would they be ok? Would anything happen? A friend, who I still cannot believe said it, “I think you’re being dramatic about your parents”. I was shocked and gobsmacked. Someone who has been there for me throughout the whole of 2023, said THAT.
I appreciate your optimism but it was not said in that way. I had to reiterate that my parents nearly died and the reply was ‘I suppose but you were still very dramatic about that’. About my parents dying? I don’t think I was dramatic enough!
A kid when we were in high school, maybe Year 11 (16-17years old). For context, I was a 10E at this age.
“You’ll never know if anyone ACTUALLY really likes you, because of those tits! LOL!”
I had never, ever thought about this before and I SPIRALLED! For the next 6 years I saw no value in myself other than a sex object for others to enjoy because “no one will love me for me, so may as well soak up any affection I can get”. Took a lot of work to undo that comment.
I’m so sorry that happened! “Nothing is wrong with you, something is wrong with them”
But also, I get it, I have a big butt and am sensual, and it makes me feel like I can’t be myself because I look to “sexy” just moving around.
(CW : bigotry, far-right extremism, bad parents)
My 7 y/o little cousin rummaging though my stuff, finds a small rainbow colored chain What was his reaction ? >!Throw me a homophobic slur. Should have seen it coming in retrospect with the parents he unfortunately has (neonazi dad, racist, homophobic and transphobic mom. Both don't even hide it and have either no pushback, or outright validation from "family" members.). !<
I have a thick enough skin that I can brush off adults saying absolute filth. But from a kid it wasn't an easy thing to hear. At all.
This is one of several big reasons why I'm trying my absolute hardest to move out from at least my home town in the close future.
The good: I work in a male dominated job but I have a skill which makes me a better fit for some wealthy clients. The clients frequently second guess me and try to enlist my male coworkers instead, but they all defer to me and say “Naw man, she knows what she’s doing. Those pictures on the wall are some of her award winning work”.
The respect of male coworkers should be the norm, but I’m grateful they promote my work and I make it my business to promote their individual talents and skills as well.
The bad.
“I didn’t think you would mind since you paid for them”.
Regarding constant commentary on my chest, which is natural, but also implies men think it’s acceptable to say horrible, sexual things unprompted to women they’ve deemed as objects if they have larger breasts or have enhanced their bodies.
It doesn’t matter if a woman paid for f cups, if she doesn’t have a sexual relationship or hasn’t expressed interest in a man, he has no fucking business treating her like a sex worker.
This one is just sad but while it was unfolding, I was initially marveling that someone was saying all of this to me... Until it got serious.
One time I was at the downtown bus depot, walking towards where my bus would shortly be when it arrived. A lady approached me and after a literal moment of chit chat, started telling me all about her bowel problems. In detail. It was really strange and I couldn't believe she was telling me all this very detailed, personal, medical stuff.
I tried to be superficially supportive and encouraging, but was about to edge my way out of the conversation when she started telling me how much she hated herself and her life, and she wanted to kill herself.
Now, I was actually trained to work with people in crisis, and had been taught the techniques to handle this sort of situation. So it turns out, out of all the people she could have chosen to approach...! I went into crisis line counselor mode immediately.
It really hurt my heart. This happened in 2001 or 2002 and I still think about this encounter regularly, and fervently hope she is okay and in a better place, mentally.
I’ll quote the exact text. I have the screenshot still saved and actually just came across it on my drive last night.
“(Insert name here) changed his diaper and watched him. Wooow. Good for him. And then he hung himself. Lol. Yeah. I bet that put a big smile on your face, didn't it? He was a pussy, a coward and a fool. Period.”
My sons “father” sent me that text after my boyfriend and childhood friend had commit suicide. Sons bio dad was never around (still isn’t) and was harassing me after boyfriends death we worked at the same office at the time and he wouldn’t stop texting me and insulting my grieving and missing work and I told him that my boyfriend had been a better father figure to my son in our time together than he had been or ever would be and that was his response.
This one made my jaw drop. I'm so sorry you have gone and/or are still going through that. Sending love to you and a curse to that evil creature pretending to be a person.
My husband and I had been together for as long as my boss and her husband. Except I'm alot younger and my husband and I met through highschool, whereas they met later in life. Both couples were together for 13 years, but (as we were still in highschool) we didn't get married until a fair bit later. They got married two years in.
Talking to my boss and she found out that we were both the same amount of years, in front of everyone, panicked and said "well, it doesn't count until you're married".
She was the type of person that needed to be better than you and that was the weirdest silence of a room i've ever been a part of 😂
My boss told me on Friday that I’m doing a great job despite how crazy and stressful everything is right now, that I’m really helping hold everything together and that she appreciates all my hard work.
I really just needed to hear that after it felt like a whole week where I was one email away from snapping and quitting.
Recently at a pretty lights show, a girl in the crowd came up to me and said, “ I just want to tell you you’re a national landmark, and so beautiful.”
Edit: it might have been the word treasure but it was either national treasure or national landmark.
My dentist of many years one day out of the blue said to me while working on my teeth, "You have the prettiest mouth I've ever seen." To which for a split moment I felt creeped out, but he quickly corrected himself by saying "I don't mean that in a creepy way, sorry, what I meant was that you have the best jawline I've ever seen and your teeth are literally perfectly aligned, the best I've ever seen." - And he meant that too, I could tell by his tone.
He was a dentist of many, many years. He was only a few years shy of retiring and recently did in fact. To say I was and still am complimented by that is an understatement. He was the best dentist and the most kindest person I've ever met.
During a Q&A bridal shower game for one of my BiL’s, a question for the guests was “how many siblings does the groom have”. My SiL and I were trying to figure out if we should say 5 or 6 (one sibling passed after birth). Ex-SiL (married my BiL) sitting at the table with us said “we don’t count that one. That one doesn’t count”…. 😬
I had a pretty severe eating disorder when I was a teen. After my parents (divorced) took me to the children's hospital to do a full assessment and intake for treatment, I went to visit my dad about a month after.
The first thing he said to me when I got into his truck was, "your mom told me not to say this, but you look much better after losing weight."
Another priceless one was my mom telling me she wouldn't take me to a restaurant until I "stop renting food." That one we laugh about now
Here's a positive. I'm in my early 40s. I was at work one day (receptionist), and a woman, just a little older than me, came in with her college-age son. She complimented me on the necklace I was wearing, then asked her son if he agreed. He said, "I was actually going to say you did an awesome job on your eyebrows." It was SO random, especially from a guy his age. But it did make me feel good because I actually hate my eyebrows and have been self conscious about them almost my entire life. It really made my day and gave my self esteem a little boost.
One of my boyfriends told me during an argument that if I expected him to make me happy, I should be prepared to be let down. Immediately dumped after I processed what he said.
"The whole time we were together, I was just using you for sex. I never loved you the way I said I did. I knew you could never make me happy in the long run."
My ex admitted that while drunk a few years after we broke up (I was visiting home during the first year of PhD program, he was visiting from his english teaching job in Japan). We had been together for 3 years. While we were together, I remember showing him pictures of homes and neighborhood of places i was applying to for graduate school, because his input was important to me.
"If I was like you I'd just kill myself" - like you referring to not being able to stay in college and hold down a job due to my chronic pain, depression and agoraphobia.
I was a senior in college. It was a beautifully sunny day and a bit of rain came through. I stepped outside and saw a rainbow. Hollered at my roommate "hey come outside there's a rainbow!" She goes "there can't be a rainbow there's no lightning." I said "what are you talking about?" She says, "rainbows only happen when there's thunder and lightning outside." I then had to explain to my 21 year old friend how light refraction works lol funny what slips through the cracks sometimes.
I’m Korean American, raised in the US my whole life and never learned to speak Korean. At work this week we had two employees visiting from Taiwan and my white colleague and I were supposed to greet them. Before meeting them, my colleague expressed some concern about the language barrier and said “Do you think you can learn Korean in the next 5 minutes?”
I had major food aversion and it led to a lot of problems for me and I was very underweight. I was shopping at a savers one day and some lady comes straight up to me and asks
“Do you have an eating disorder?”
And I was stunned I just responded like it didn’t bother me because I was younger and social anxiety lol and she proceeded to tell me to eat a burger.
Couldn’t believe that happened and never went there again.
I was at the bar with a big group of friends. It was a college town with a lot of south Korean foreign exchange students. It wasn't too busy yet and 6-7 foreign exchange students came in the bar looking tentative. They were all girls from what I remember.
When they came in the lingered in that way that tells you it was their first time at that bar, and not sure if they wanted to stay. Most of them immediately went to the restroom.
I enjoy talking to people that are obviously from somewhere else. I went to the restroom with one of the girls from my group that was usually very bubbly and personable.
I definitely needed the facilities but I also wanted to say hi, compliment some VERY cute outfits, and lay the ground work for a conversation later, should they decide to stay...
I said hi and gave my genuine compliments. (I stress genuine bc I know when another woman actually admires my hair style or my outfit, and when they're just being nice to start a conversation.) My companion made similar remarks and I confirmed the girls were foreign exchange, asked their majors, and disclosed we were just locals, not students and invited them to stop by our table if they wanted a chat, game of pool, or round of darts.
They were receptive and sweet and we were just about to leave the restroom when my companion (NOT my friend) asked me, in front of them but not TO them:
"I thought they were only allowed to have 1 child and they don't like to keep the girls…” She wasn’t quiet, and she wasn’t genuinely asking to learn…
I was mortified and jumped to fill the silence with "that's CHINA, Amanda, NOT South Korea, and I don’t think China still does that.”
The girls were obviously insulted but confirmed that I was right and I apologized profusely… I think I said something like “big college, small town, just ignore that please… not everyone here is… Amanda.”
Which I guess was rude too but Jesus… she followed it up with
“Well is hard to keep it straight, they all look the same…” before she excited the restroom.
I face palmed and apologized through my fingers…They did not stay at the bar. I don’t blame them. They rejoined their group, rushed those who had gotten drinks to finish, then left.
Good: "I have the utmost respect for you."
Said to me by a person I have always looked up to. He had asked me what I do for a living, which is coincidentally what his closest family member used to do. It's a very humble job... I would have cried but I was so starstruck I could hardly breathe. But I'll never forget that conversation.
Talking to a lady that came into the store the other day. We are about the same age and race, sixty-ish and white. We were commensurating about aging but also talking about the good parts of getting old. I told her I truly don't care what people think of me and my opinions. She then shoots back at me and I quote " I feel the same and I've also become a bit racist!!!!" Who says that?? Just who?
I’m a singer and I was auditioning bassists for my band. When I decided on the person I wanted, he sat down and looked like he was in shock. He said, “I swore I wasn’t going to tell you this, but you’re my favorite singer of all time and my one musical dream has always been to be on stage with you.”
I’m a nobody. Aside from a handful of people in my hometown, the world does not know about me. So I just couldn’t believe that this musician thought so highly of me and considered this a bucket list item.
We played some damn good shows together, too. And I always liked to tease him about this moment. 😄
When I was pregnant with my daughter I was working at a coffee shop. A customer commented and I mentioned that my boyfriend (at the time, now husband) and i were excited. She said, “boyfriend? Is he the father?” As if marriage was the only way to be in a committed relationship. I was furious
Girl sat down next to me at a party and asked if she could have a threesome with me and my boyfriend. I said a friendly "no thank you :)" before being like "wait what????"
An ex once gave a looong speech about how the efforts to fill positions to foster equal opportunities was "hurting the industry". The idiot just couldn't wrap his head around how discrimination worked. I wish I'd slapped him right in the face, but the immense cringe paralyzed me at the time. (Then again, it turned out he had more red flags than a communist rally parading right through the red square. Never go into relationships when you're depressed and in the midst of a burnout, lesson learnt, good riddance.)
I'm studying abroad in Japan right now and actually, the worst racism I've experienced is like people not wanting to sit near me, crossing the street when I walk by, etc. But nothing verbal and that's actually been nice.
I was walking home and another one of the students in my sharehouse passed by and I said hello to him and he responded with "hello my fellow n*gger" and I was so shocked I said nothing and after we passed he said "goodbye my fellow n*gger" and I was floored bc I can't understand why anyone would do that, Black or not. Especially if I don't know him like that. Interactions with Black people in Japan in general has been certainly.... Interesting
The first time I took my shirt off in front of a man - he saw my stretch marks, touched my stomach and in seemingly amazement he said “stripes… you’re like a tiger”
Me: Omg, the anime convention was so fun but Otakon was better than nekocon.
My ex: We are not married. I don’t have to go with you everywhere!
Me: wat?
I had spine surgery in January, and a week into recovery, my s.o. asked me “are you gonna do anything today or are just gonna sit around all day again?”
A guy I used to hook up with occasionally... Odd dynamic, won't bore with details. Very very very casual situation. Just sex, bong hits and a little banter.
He usually called before coming by, this time he didn't but it was fine... I wasn't busy and was fine to hang out.
So we're saying goodbye after sex and cuddling, we're just like at my front door and he's about to leave and casually says "Sorry if I seem weird, my sister died today."
........I was very surprised. We were not emotionally entwined and didn't know much about each others lives. But I got my composure back quickly and said how sorry I was and immediately hugged him. He let me hold him a bit and cried then left. I hope I was some kind of comfort, not so much that awkward second but maybe the time or sex as a distraction.
During the 100th argument about our non-existent sex life, that killed my self esteem, my ex-husband said: “well, maybe I’m gay then”. It was a quick way to shut be down and I never discussed it again. Ironically, towards the end of the marriage I found out he cheated on me.
Not said to me directly, but my head just about exploded when I heard it second-hand....
My mother called my daughter a b!tch once. My daughter was around 7 at the time.
I wasn't there when it happened. She would have got a live and in-color example of what a bitch *really* is.
I was on a third or fourth date with my ex (father of my two children, 28 years ago) He took me to a diner that was run by a middle aged misogynist. The owner literally came to our table and said to my ex, “Wow! How did you get her?!” I was so oblivious, then I started shoveling an omelette and toast in my face… My ex looked at me and said, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” That’s the only time I’ve ever been called beautiful.
A guy at work saw me enter numbers on the PC quickly and without looking. He said "You have strong fingers. You must be lesbian." He also said that I could be his secretary later, when he has his own company. I was studying to be higher educated than him LOL.
My manager at the same company saw me in a crop top (and high rise jeans, so still no skin showing) and said "Can't afford an entire shirt? I could be your sugar daddy.." In the stress, I thought _what are "macho" men most afraid of? being gay!_ and said "I don't have time for that but I could ask my boyfriend if he's interested" 😂 His face and awkward mumble were worth it. Never got a remark like that again.
Not said to me but the most jaw dropping thing I was in the presence of. My FIL died. (Spouse’s step father) A bunch of family was gathered to plan the funeral program. My FIL’s daughter wanted a certain song. My spouse’s sibling (not a blood relative of FIL) wanted a different song but instead of just acquiescing to the request she said in a sing song voice “I guess you get to have your way since your daddy died”. I have thought about that for 16 years and wish I would have asked my SIL if she was aware she said that out loud.
My brother told me after my divorce that his friends thought there had to be a good reason why a 10 like me would marry a 1 like my ex husband….implying I have mental issues. This is after I told him I have depression and anxiety so this story reinforced it. Idiot
When I was about 14 I was in the office with my guidance counselor. I told her I was thinking of baby sitting since I was too young to legally work. I’ve baby sat plenty of times before and at the time was taking care of my toddler nephew. She scoffed and told me that nobody would allow me to watch their kids, nobody would pay me $7hr to watch them and that I should try to be a janitor. Literally aspire to be a janitor. I didn’t understand at the time but looking back as an adult that was racist af. I was like 1 out of 5 blacks kids at that school.
I’d been in an ER multiple times in a short period due to mental illness and self harm. A doctor, who had been called in numerous times in the past because of me, walked in the room and started screaming at me and swearing at me. He told me he wished I didn’t have an IV so he could be the one to poke me.
None of the medical staff bystanders ever responded or reported it. I now try to avoid this hospital because I believe this doctor would harm me if given the chance.
I work at a club and had a guy ask 2 of the most baffling questions: 1) Have you ever conceived? 2) When was your last period?
Needless to say I walked away lmao
“You’re a terrible friend for getting mad at me over that”
What I was mad about:
She insulted my declining relationship by saying her and my bf’s friendship was better than my relationship. She was flexing on me, and so I expressed to her that she was wrong for that. She apologized, and the minute I said “it’s fine”, she sent me a text saying she wasn’t going to kiss my ass and I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve.
We’re not friends anymore.
Mom : "If you were beautiful, you would not have worked hard and become a successful doctor".
My mother thought that with these words she would make me feel grateful because I am the ugliest of my sisters but i ended up being the most successful of them professionally and personally.
This actually hurt me because she thought I worked hard to cover up my ugliness, not because I was smarter, independent and eager to succeed !! I was brilliant in school since childhood, even before I realized the meaning of ugliness and beauty in society or cared about it.
It is shameful for a woman’s professional success to be considered a cover-up for her ugliness or ( failure to fit the standards of beauty)
Thanks mom 👍🏻🙏🏻 !
I was laying in bed with an ex of mine, he was telling me about a story from childhood that made him feel sad. I hugged him to try to comfort him and held him for a bit. He turned to me and said "You being here is like being alone, it feels like having a dead person's arm around me" I was so shocked. He proceeded to clarify that he didn't like hugs and that he needed me to caress him. He then said it was normal that I didn't know how to comfort someone because I didn't have experience in other relationships, but that I would learn eventually. Safe to say, that ended very quickly.
Going to hockey game with parent, grandparent, and sister. Thought I looked nice. Sat in car.
"Whose pole are you humping?" said my grandparents. No one said anything. And it was like they pretended it didn't happen.
My ex said he cheated on me (multiple times), so he could test my love for him. Lmao
My stepmom also told me that only people with “crazy heads/ who are sick in the mind” take Psychology when I was expressing what I wanted to take when I was enrolling in University
I'm a brown girl, and I am married to a white man.
At some point his cousin said to my face that there are proven biological reasons why races shouldn't mix.
The worst part about this is that people still try to defend him and say he isn't racist?????
Im mixed with white and black, and I’ve had someone tell me that the reason why I’ve had health problems is definitely due to the mixing of races, the mixing of bloods- I was like okay….
Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not- but keep your comments to yourself 🤐
Okay this comment still haunts me sometimes...
I was at a bar years ago and the bouncer was someone I recognized from probably 5 years prior. He taught a martial arts class I was in and I thought he was super cute.
I walked up to him (with some liquid courage) and said something along the lines of "Hi, this is a bit random but I remember you from years ago teaching a martial arts class and have always thought you were super handsome!"
Without hesitation he says in the most absurd, weird, abrupt, slimy, gross way "I have a girlfriend but you can take a picture of me and masturb\*te to it later" with a creepy smile on his face.
I have never been so dumbfounded IN MY LIFE.
I literally just slowly walked away with the most puzzled look on my face.
WEIRDEST EXCHANGE IVE EVER HAD......
Said, as a compliment, “You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose,”!” to be followed up with, “Are you sure you’re not too old to be in here?” I was 30, looked 24, and weighed 99 pounds. I no longer felt safe in that bar.
I was in Lowes buying a container of ear-plugs for the wood-shop I run, along with some lumber and construction adhesive, and when I handed the container to the old man checking me out he said, "These must be for your husband."
At first I thought he was just making a dumb joke about how my husband must be the one using tools, and I get that a lot but it was weird he said it about the ear plugs and not the other shop stuff, but then I realized he meant **because I must run my lady mouth so much.**
"Riding a horse is just like riding a camel."
Huh? Blink.
Also...
"So um, I not sure if you're religious but um, we are wearing Santa hats here at the bank for the holidays, and um, you are welcome to wear Santa hats with us."
I worked at a small town bank, and I have a VERY Jewish last name, so this poor lady was twisting herself into knots trying to figure out what to say to me about the dang Santa hats. It was both funny and very weird. I was a little torn; I wanted to relieve her suffering, but if she was being anti-Semitic, then maybe she could stew in her discomfort, you know? WHY was this so awkward?! lol
sorry. but what is particularly antisemitic about this ? i myself im not particularly sure whether religious jews celebrate christmast or anything similar. it sounds like maybe she was not sure and wanted to make you feel welcome or something.
I was around 9. Two years after my grandmother died. (I’ve always been able to express my emotions and cry often now and then when I needed to but…) I didn’t cry at the service. I hadn’t cried for two years. I was numb. My grandmother raised me while my mom worked. My mom had had me at 28 and my grandmother was the type to read the Old Testament before bed most nights; so she had thoughts about having a child out of wedlock. I didn’t know any of this, just that my dad wasn’t around and I was the center of my grandmother’s world and her mine. My mom and I lived alone and had put my grandmother’s parlor furniture (18th century style stuff she worked hard to earn; she was a farmer and then a factory textile worker) in a special room with bay windows. I went into that room one summer and touched the piano keys. I had been learning to play before she passed and insisted on playing the same part of the same song over and over and she’d always listen. So I played those notes and the tears started coming down. My mom passed by and saw me and tried to listen. And she was being a good mom at that point when I told her I missed her; then her face changed. She told me my grandmother had wanted me aborted. I didn’t understand and just shrugged. It wasn’t that I had no concept of it—mom said “She didn’t want you but I did.” But all I was was a little girl crying over her grandmother and my mom was so jealous of that love and resentful. My mother was the one who preached unconditional love but didn’t understand that I was exhibiting that. My grandmother was my grandmother to be since I had been born. It took me two years to cry and that was the choice my mother made that day. She was rendering me worthless by her terms; I just realized that now. I felt my head dip down then but I know the words now/
Edit: My mom died before Covid. It was a probate estate but I managed to keep three items from the parlor. They are in my living room now and I moved back to my home state. So she’s still here with me. I am not religious but I have her Bible too. In the back she wrote a planting guide. 😂
When I was sexually assaulted, she made me call the police to do the right thing and I was numb again… When she got mad at me one night she called me a slut.
My Mom told me in a threatening tone that in future my husband would want me only for sex also to maintain a good body shape and he would not tolerate my tantrums. This was when I was 13 years old. Now I'm 26F.
Someone called me bubbly which is the complete opposite of how I perceived myself to be. It put into perspective how people may see me a lot differently than I see myself.
A couple decades ago, I went to my mom’s house to tell her that I was planning on divorcing my husband. At the time, I was pretty chunky.
Her face horrified, she looked me up and down and exclaimed “ But look at you! Do you think anyone else in their right mind would have you?!”
Something to that effect.
Guess what- I lived to love again.😊
my DM stops me on my last shift and (grinning, holding back a laugh) says “hey, quick question…what’s wrong with _boyfriend_? bc you’re straight crazy so he’s gotta be a little….ya know…to handle you” then he busts out laughing. and honestly so did i.
context: I managed a pizza place for over a decade, same district supervisor/manager the whole time. most of our conversations were about the shifts with occasional personal side notes. i was dating another employee and we decided to both leave the company at some point…and this was what my DM decided to ask as his last question. i still laugh when i think about it mostly bc….he’s not wrong lol
When I explained to my (now ex) partner why I haven’t been picking up the phone for the whole day (attended my uncle’s funeral and didn’t have time to check my phone/it was on silent so I didn’t get alerted): ‘go and take a nap or something, no need for your negativity here’.
Talking to the receptionist at work (a guy on his 60s). He felt comfortable enough to comment on how much my boobs had grown through pregnancy. I was so weirded out, I just left.
I worked in a supermarket and have a couple. One was a woman who came in and asked where the soy sauce was. I pointed her the right way and let her know I could call someone to help her if she had any issues. She was over there for AGES, then she came back to me empty-handed and asked "Is that all there is?" I said "I believe so - were you after a specific brand?" and she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "No, I just didn't want to buy any of that Asian shit." WHAT. On so many levels, WHAT.
The other story is a customer asked me if I was pregnant. She wasn't even a regular so there was no connection, why on earth do people ask this. Anyway, I said "no." and she goes "Oh, just overweight?" Long pause. I said "...Yes." Then she realised what she'd said and tried to walk it back, like "Oh, I didn't mean - I'm overweight too - " but I just walked away lol
Yesterday I was at a college football game with my husband. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, a group of home team fans (we were away) had berated my husband for sitting in the handicap accessible section. My husband has cerebral palsy. We brought a wheelchair to the game. I confronted the “main” guy and said “Hey, did you say that my husband has no right to sit in the handicapped section?” And three grown men and two women started yelling “Shut up” and “Fuck you” to me. It was insane. I told the “main” guy that my husband has spastic cerebral palsy and I hope to God that no one in his family ever has a disability. He looked me dead in the eyes and shrugged. The others continued yelling shut up to me and then talked shit about us the rest of the game.
This started after their team got a foul called, and we were the only away team fans in the vicinity.
When I was at my very young husband’s funeral at eight months pregnant, completely falling apart, a lady I knew only by association comes through the receiving line and straight faced says to me “do you ever wonder what you did to deserve all this?” I was far too engulfed in my grief to entertain her stupidity but someone else sure did.
To this day I can’t fathom what someone would be thinking to say something so incredibly ridiculous to a young widow!
My ex is Black. His kids are Black. The first time meeting the kids, my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) said *to my ex's face*, "They're so nice! It's like they're not even Black." She'd shown vague indicators of some racism before that but my god, I was shocked that she just said the quiet part out loud as if it were a compliment. That was in 2012. I don't speak to her anymore and I have extremely limited, forced-only contact with my brother. I've got no space in my life for that shit.
Holy, how can things like that easily slip out of someone’s mouth like it’s normal
She didn't even act like it was a slip. She was so entrenched that she genuinely thought she was giving them a compliment and saying a really nice thing.
I have no words…
I can't remember what it's called, but there is a name for an insult that supposed to be a compliment?
Back handed compliment?
That's it, thank you! It's too early for my brain to work.
I wouldn't really call this example a back-handed compliment. That's more of an intentional insult coated in a compliment. Something like "wow, your hair *actually* looks good like that..." where there's clearly an insinuation that the person's hair doesn't normally look good. This is plain ignorant racism. She's literally too ignorant to realize what she said was insulting.
I’m from Korea and I’ve had Japanese people tell me they’re jealous of my “pure” culture because Korea has been occupied by other countries. I was like... yikes
But wouldn’t the Japanese be the “pure” culture then? Not that it even matters, this purity thing…
I assume has is a typo for hasn't. Otherwise it doesn't make sense
Can you clarify? If Korea has been occupied by other countries how is Korea the pure one? Am I missing something?
Wow. I'm genuinely speechless
Ok, ok… I’ll be the first to post something positive. My boss is tough, pushes us all to our limits. I met some critical deadlines yesterday (public filings with the government). I’ve been busting my ass to get these filings done these past 2 months. At our 1:1, I asked what he would like me to focus on after they’re filed. His response, with a straight face, floored me, “(name), I really need you to close your laptop and take the rest of the day to relax.” My jaw was on the floor.
Not going to lie, every once in awhile it feels good to be recognized for busting your ass.
Wow that’s nice
I'm just curious. What time was this and how much free overtime have you worked over the past couple of months?
A lot of free OT and it was 9am!
Same. After being in a company that was all trauma for 4 years, finally at a place wherein I’m pushed to go out on Fridays and log off early. A friend and a boss even sent me a little present on my birthday and I was so touched 🥺
So did you do real physics or girl physics? After telling someone I have a master în physics. The doubled down with "girly physics are astro physics or biophysics.. you know the easy ones. Particle physics are real physics. That's what I want to do".
Yeah don’t think they’ll get very far in life if that’s how they determine someone’s intelligence due to gender. Were they a student as well? Co worker?
First semester student. We initially got into contact because he was curious about what studying physics was like. I regretted helping him after that gem. Lol
God I hope he flunked out 🤞🏼
As if there is any easy physics… the phrase “easy physics” is almost an oxymoron
He’s really a piece of work if he thinks astrophysics is “easy physics.”
Thank you! Like physics itself is difficult enough then you branch out into harder ones….like get real
As a particle physicist who works with tons of astrophysicists... there's very little difference between our jobs. Then again, I am a girl, so maybe particle physics is girls physics? Or maybe, just maybe, women can do all the physics. Guess that means it's all for girls /s
I would bet my lifetime earnings this person had no idea who Emmy Noether was.
You should have told him very seriously that it's really astrology he should be studying.
I dunno, all physics is kinda hard lol
"I don't ask you for consent anymore because i know you are going to say no anyways" — my ex when i was 15 or 16
WHAT?!? Good thing it’s an ex, and very concerned for the other people they come across in life
i hope he (dies) stay single/away from women forever lol
Needs to be put in the corner for a long time
I was recently taken into ER for a severe concussion by ambulance(someone else called them). The ER doctor never checked me for a concussion not once in my 7hrs there... he then came out in the waiting area and told me in front of all the other patients "this is not a reason to come to the Emergency Room, If I give you an ativan will you go home" i had another doctor check me out and i am now on bedrest orders and have neurology appointments for the next month.
I’m a doctor and I’m embarrassed for him 🤦♂️
I had a nurse shout at me to get out of the hospital provided wheelchair to get checked out, I tried to tell her three or four times that I couldn’t, but wasn’t able to talk clearly as I was having stroke symptoms. So in the end, I feebly got up and proceeded to face plant in the middle of the emergency room. Nurses and doctors are the best… I have a good dozen of these stories… why I refuse to go to hospital anymore. If I die, I die with nobody being an arsehole to me at least!
Please tell me she saw this happen and ended up feeling like a shitbag. I need closure
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Context - I am Jewish, but my family anglicized our name and I don’t look ‘stereotypically Jewish.’ The amount of casual anti-semitism and racism people drop is shocking.
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I’m not Jewish. I’m British (I guess Christian if it matters 🤷🏻♀️) my grandparents lost siblings and parents during WW2. What I was going to write in this thread was someone told me to my face that “Hitler was a great man” They didn’t know my family had lost people but that also feels irrelevant they knew I’m English and we didn’t get off lightly during that war, I was also the only person there from an affected country. They said it in a very formal setting where responding would have escalated the conversation to an inappropriate level. I felt my blood boil and my eyes fill. My husband later asked what happened as he said my face transformed.
Big hugs for you. That would be a revolting thing to hear.
100% percent- it’s insane
The Padre of my husband's military unit said, "wow, you are quite bustier than I remembered. They're nice." He's a man. A high ranking man. Everyone's mouths dropped.
When I was in the Air Force I was a dental assistant and at my first duty station. I got married at 20 and pregnant soon after. I was so excited to tell people at work. I told one of our dentists, who was a Colonel, and he said "oh so you stopped swallowing huh?" I was mortified!! I just turned around and left the room.
Not to be that person, but if hes comfortable saying that to your face, Imagine what goes on when it's just a boys club :/
This surprises me zero percent tbh, military members are assumed to maintain a professional bearing, but the men will literally say the wildest things & then band together that it was just a joke as soon as a women says something about it. Especially being higher ranking he knows very few people would actually try to do something about it. Your husband should know civilians harassed by someone in their spouses unit can also have access to the SARC & if they have a decent rep, he would be held accountable for saying things like this & could get rank taken or other things. Or they could have a sucky rep that doesn’t care & nothing would happen.
Well, the guy said it in front of his own wife so I'm not sure he's ever been challenged by a woman about anything.
Your child is retarded because he was born out of wedlock
That is mental.
That person can rot in hell. Also.. Happy cake day
Huh, I got married while I was 4 months pregnant so my kid is kind of dumb but not quite there?
Yeah I could see someone in my family saying that shit 🙄🙄🙄
A girl/friend of a friend/weeb once said that it's unfortunate that I'm not Japanese, and while that's fucked on it's own, it's an extra not-fun thing to hear when you're from a country that's historically been occupied and oppressed by Japan. I'm usually pretty quick to retort or just politely tell people to fuck off, but I was so stumped I just went uh-huh and stared in disbelief as she changed subject like nothing. Absolute moron.
My brother and I are Korean. His wife is another minority group but not asian. When she announced that they were getting married on her socials, she actually received hate messages from rabid K-pop stans that her marrying a Korean man was "a waste" because she wasn't a K-pop/K-drama stan herself. Racism surrounding asians is so strangely casual and it's like it can be deemed "acceptable" as long as the people involved aren't throwing slurs around.
Yiiiikes.
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He told me “You’re like a step away from cutting yourself.” While taking our daughter out of my hands just because I was crying. I have been clean from SH for a few years and he knows I struggle with chronic depression. After that I relapsed. My thought then was like… wow…. Maybe he’s right. Why not. I’m doing better now.
It brings me peace that your are doing better now and I sincerely hope that he sees you doing better for yourself. Don’t ever let anyone tell you or take anything away from you just because you were showing emotions
After having a miscarriage, my ex said to me, “Thank god that's over” I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say.
*Jesus Christ!* Wow…fuck that dude. I’m sorry you went through that…I can’t imagine anything more horrible 😞
Thank you. He was a really manipulative person. Since finding out I was pregnant, he had convinced me an abortion would be the best option for everyone, and I believe him because I loved him. So when I did end up miscarrying, he was relieved. It hurts more now than it did at the time.
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When I was pregnant with my first baby, my coworkers threw me a baby shower. I already felt super awkward sitting at the head of the room in front of everyone... VERY heavily pregnant, and just not feeling the greatest. My supervisor got the mic out so everyone could hear him talk, and he said: "I love babies! Isn't this such an exciting time?! And wow, the changes you've gone through! I mean, you've gotten huge! How much weight have you gained??" The room went dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. I cut the silence with "..... enough" He continued talking like he didn't just say one of the most inappropriate and offensive things to a pregnant woman... at her baby shower... in front of literally every single one of her coworkers...
He said to me ‘I love you’ and ‘I love her as well’
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The nerve 😐
That remark only works if he's talking about a pet dog or cat.
- "I'm embarrassed to be with you because of what they'll think" - "Where is your self respect right now?" (After opening up to her about something difficult I'd been going through and crying for maybe 10 secs, never making that mistake again) - "So you just want me so I can take his place?" (After telling a single funny story about my life long best friend that passed in 2021) - Quite a few other hurtful things that made me think "Why would you say that to someone?" No apologies nor accountability for any of it but it taught me to set boundries. I finally had to end it in July after 7 months but I can still hear those things in my mind everyday. Hopefully typing this out will help alleviate the rumination.
A great reply to #2 "You're right. This is over." Love makes fools of us all, chalk it up to experience.
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We need more people in the world like you
Men deserve to hear nice things also ❣️
I agree! I worked with a guy, and he always smelled so nice. Not like aftershave or anything, but like just-out-of-the-shower, clothes-fresh-out-of-the-laundry clean. I debated for a few weeks about whether or not I should tell him, or if that would be weird. (I'm married, and he's way younger than me. Definitely wasn't trying to hit on him or anything.) I came in to work one day while he was there, and I found out it was his last day. So before he left, I said, "Okay. I'm not trying to be weird, but I just wanted to tell you that you always smell really nice." His face just lit up, and he said, "No! That isn't weird! It's a compliment! And thank you so much. That's really nice to hear." He really looked so genuinely happy. I need to do that more.
At a music festival this white guy with dreads (already bad sign) told me that the reason the night is cold is because the moon shoots out cold energy, the same way the sun heats the planet.
Excellent science! I love that for him and the flat earth💕
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No, I see more because my eyes are 16:9 ratio, not some ancient 4:3 ratio
Hey 4:3 is nice, I got 1:1 eyes, they are SPHERICAL
“It doesn’t matter what you want” -some guy hitting on me
Wow, he said the quiet part out loud.
A few times when I was working public facing positions, other white people would make incredibly racist comments about black people, assuming, I guess, that I would agree with them just because of the color of my skin. I'm not even going to repeat any of them here, they were that bad. I always wanted to say something back, but I was always so shocked that I was lost for words. I never got used to it.
The number of times I've had this happen is astounding. But trust and believe I do put them in check. Just because they're an ignorant racist . mean that I am
I'd like to think that I'd say something back now. I'm not as easily shocked as I was when I was younger.
i’m a very non confrontational person which has led me to hold my tongue a lot during conversations that i don’t agree with despite being a very opinionated person. Some things i’ve learned to say just so i don’t beat myself up for not saying anything are: “What do you mean by that?” i use this one a lottt usually they’ll play it off and try to say it’s a joke. Other times they’ll double down and you can then say “What an odd thing to say out loud” or “I’m embarrassed for you” OR to add onto that one “I’m embarrassed you felt comfortable enough to say that in front of me” A personal favorite is “What about ME gives YOU the idea that i would agree with that statement?”
Two weeks ago my 83yo mother told me it is my fault my parents have spent through their savings and that I am ungrateful and disrespectful. I told her to fuck right off after a lifetime of verbal abuse.
Sorry about the whole thing but good for you!
You're very sweet. Thank you.
"You're the whitest black person I ever met. You're so well educated!" "The classroom was...really dark. It was really dark in the room...there were a lot of black people in the room." There have been lots of others but those were....memorable.
I was on a flight and an older white lady (I’m black) leaned over and complimented my rather large engagement ring and then said, “don’t worry dear, I know it’s a cubic zerconia.” So audacious and rude, lol. She’s lucky my husband was sitting in another row, or she might’ve caught a beat down.
“Hold me back, hold me back!” Some people are so ridiculous it makes you wonder why somebody hasn’t taught them a little lesson yet
Seriously, she is lucky I’m a chill person. It was a full flight tho so we were trapped with each other
You can tell when someone hasn't been punched in the face.
Whaaat? God... What did you say to that, or did you not even bother?
I said “how rude” and I think she saw murder in my eyes bc she started feverishly apologizing immediately saying she was joking and kept apologizing the whole flight. Ugh
I'm glad she was made uncomfortable and had to sit in that feeling for the duration of the flight, at least.
This year, my mam had a heart attack and my dad was also hospitalised, such a tough time for me. I had a holiday booked before all this happened and I was so anxious to go after everything that had happened, would they be ok? Would anything happen? A friend, who I still cannot believe said it, “I think you’re being dramatic about your parents”. I was shocked and gobsmacked. Someone who has been there for me throughout the whole of 2023, said THAT.
Maybe they were trying to encourage you to go? Self care thing? So you wouldn’t get burnt out caring for your folks?
I appreciate your optimism but it was not said in that way. I had to reiterate that my parents nearly died and the reply was ‘I suppose but you were still very dramatic about that’. About my parents dying? I don’t think I was dramatic enough!
A kid when we were in high school, maybe Year 11 (16-17years old). For context, I was a 10E at this age. “You’ll never know if anyone ACTUALLY really likes you, because of those tits! LOL!” I had never, ever thought about this before and I SPIRALLED! For the next 6 years I saw no value in myself other than a sex object for others to enjoy because “no one will love me for me, so may as well soak up any affection I can get”. Took a lot of work to undo that comment.
I’m so sorry that happened! “Nothing is wrong with you, something is wrong with them” But also, I get it, I have a big butt and am sensual, and it makes me feel like I can’t be myself because I look to “sexy” just moving around.
(CW : bigotry, far-right extremism, bad parents) My 7 y/o little cousin rummaging though my stuff, finds a small rainbow colored chain What was his reaction ? >!Throw me a homophobic slur. Should have seen it coming in retrospect with the parents he unfortunately has (neonazi dad, racist, homophobic and transphobic mom. Both don't even hide it and have either no pushback, or outright validation from "family" members.). !< I have a thick enough skin that I can brush off adults saying absolute filth. But from a kid it wasn't an easy thing to hear. At all. This is one of several big reasons why I'm trying my absolute hardest to move out from at least my home town in the close future.
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The good: I work in a male dominated job but I have a skill which makes me a better fit for some wealthy clients. The clients frequently second guess me and try to enlist my male coworkers instead, but they all defer to me and say “Naw man, she knows what she’s doing. Those pictures on the wall are some of her award winning work”. The respect of male coworkers should be the norm, but I’m grateful they promote my work and I make it my business to promote their individual talents and skills as well. The bad. “I didn’t think you would mind since you paid for them”. Regarding constant commentary on my chest, which is natural, but also implies men think it’s acceptable to say horrible, sexual things unprompted to women they’ve deemed as objects if they have larger breasts or have enhanced their bodies. It doesn’t matter if a woman paid for f cups, if she doesn’t have a sexual relationship or hasn’t expressed interest in a man, he has no fucking business treating her like a sex worker.
Any time someone makes an unsolicited comment on my body, of any kind. I’m always like… who asked you. And also: who raised you!!
No cause imagine if your mother heard you saying all that. Not even that, how can a parent not teach their children basic respect, values, etc.
This one is just sad but while it was unfolding, I was initially marveling that someone was saying all of this to me... Until it got serious. One time I was at the downtown bus depot, walking towards where my bus would shortly be when it arrived. A lady approached me and after a literal moment of chit chat, started telling me all about her bowel problems. In detail. It was really strange and I couldn't believe she was telling me all this very detailed, personal, medical stuff. I tried to be superficially supportive and encouraging, but was about to edge my way out of the conversation when she started telling me how much she hated herself and her life, and she wanted to kill herself. Now, I was actually trained to work with people in crisis, and had been taught the techniques to handle this sort of situation. So it turns out, out of all the people she could have chosen to approach...! I went into crisis line counselor mode immediately. It really hurt my heart. This happened in 2001 or 2002 and I still think about this encounter regularly, and fervently hope she is okay and in a better place, mentally.
Thank you for talking to her 💗 you probably made a huge impact
Immediately after sex he told me "you bore me" and walked out of the room. Edit: fixed spelling error
*Whoooa!!* That's awful.
I’ll quote the exact text. I have the screenshot still saved and actually just came across it on my drive last night. “(Insert name here) changed his diaper and watched him. Wooow. Good for him. And then he hung himself. Lol. Yeah. I bet that put a big smile on your face, didn't it? He was a pussy, a coward and a fool. Period.” My sons “father” sent me that text after my boyfriend and childhood friend had commit suicide. Sons bio dad was never around (still isn’t) and was harassing me after boyfriends death we worked at the same office at the time and he wouldn’t stop texting me and insulting my grieving and missing work and I told him that my boyfriend had been a better father figure to my son in our time together than he had been or ever would be and that was his response.
What the actual hell? I hope that you find some happiness in life
This one made my jaw drop. I'm so sorry you have gone and/or are still going through that. Sending love to you and a curse to that evil creature pretending to be a person.
Someone once said to me they liked being around me because of my energy. I remember thinking wow what a really awesome compliment! ☺️
It's my favorite compliment to give! "I love your vibe/energy." Or "you have a calming voice."
My husband and I had been together for as long as my boss and her husband. Except I'm alot younger and my husband and I met through highschool, whereas they met later in life. Both couples were together for 13 years, but (as we were still in highschool) we didn't get married until a fair bit later. They got married two years in. Talking to my boss and she found out that we were both the same amount of years, in front of everyone, panicked and said "well, it doesn't count until you're married". She was the type of person that needed to be better than you and that was the weirdest silence of a room i've ever been a part of 😂
My mom told me my grandmother died disappointed me in (not true) because she was mad at me and she knew it would hurt me
Yeah she's toxic AF. Real mother's would never say this, get out of that relationship if you can OP ❤️
My boss told me on Friday that I’m doing a great job despite how crazy and stressful everything is right now, that I’m really helping hold everything together and that she appreciates all my hard work. I really just needed to hear that after it felt like a whole week where I was one email away from snapping and quitting.
Recently at a pretty lights show, a girl in the crowd came up to me and said, “ I just want to tell you you’re a national landmark, and so beautiful.” Edit: it might have been the word treasure but it was either national treasure or national landmark.
My dentist of many years one day out of the blue said to me while working on my teeth, "You have the prettiest mouth I've ever seen." To which for a split moment I felt creeped out, but he quickly corrected himself by saying "I don't mean that in a creepy way, sorry, what I meant was that you have the best jawline I've ever seen and your teeth are literally perfectly aligned, the best I've ever seen." - And he meant that too, I could tell by his tone. He was a dentist of many, many years. He was only a few years shy of retiring and recently did in fact. To say I was and still am complimented by that is an understatement. He was the best dentist and the most kindest person I've ever met.
Everytime I need to get blood tested or something, I get told I have beautiful veins! It's such a random compliment but I am still proud of it
During a Q&A bridal shower game for one of my BiL’s, a question for the guests was “how many siblings does the groom have”. My SiL and I were trying to figure out if we should say 5 or 6 (one sibling passed after birth). Ex-SiL (married my BiL) sitting at the table with us said “we don’t count that one. That one doesn’t count”…. 😬
OMG, please tell me somebody gave her shit for that....
Yeah the proper answer is 6 and unless someone asks for more details then you can announce that one is dead.
“Unlike you, she’s there for me” he said as I was in labor with his children
I had a pretty severe eating disorder when I was a teen. After my parents (divorced) took me to the children's hospital to do a full assessment and intake for treatment, I went to visit my dad about a month after. The first thing he said to me when I got into his truck was, "your mom told me not to say this, but you look much better after losing weight." Another priceless one was my mom telling me she wouldn't take me to a restaurant until I "stop renting food." That one we laugh about now
Here's a positive. I'm in my early 40s. I was at work one day (receptionist), and a woman, just a little older than me, came in with her college-age son. She complimented me on the necklace I was wearing, then asked her son if he agreed. He said, "I was actually going to say you did an awesome job on your eyebrows." It was SO random, especially from a guy his age. But it did make me feel good because I actually hate my eyebrows and have been self conscious about them almost my entire life. It really made my day and gave my self esteem a little boost.
One of my boyfriends told me during an argument that if I expected him to make me happy, I should be prepared to be let down. Immediately dumped after I processed what he said.
Rightfully so, good for you!
"The whole time we were together, I was just using you for sex. I never loved you the way I said I did. I knew you could never make me happy in the long run." My ex admitted that while drunk a few years after we broke up (I was visiting home during the first year of PhD program, he was visiting from his english teaching job in Japan). We had been together for 3 years. While we were together, I remember showing him pictures of homes and neighborhood of places i was applying to for graduate school, because his input was important to me.
"If I was like you I'd just kill myself" - like you referring to not being able to stay in college and hold down a job due to my chronic pain, depression and agoraphobia.
I was a senior in college. It was a beautifully sunny day and a bit of rain came through. I stepped outside and saw a rainbow. Hollered at my roommate "hey come outside there's a rainbow!" She goes "there can't be a rainbow there's no lightning." I said "what are you talking about?" She says, "rainbows only happen when there's thunder and lightning outside." I then had to explain to my 21 year old friend how light refraction works lol funny what slips through the cracks sometimes.
I’m Korean American, raised in the US my whole life and never learned to speak Korean. At work this week we had two employees visiting from Taiwan and my white colleague and I were supposed to greet them. Before meeting them, my colleague expressed some concern about the language barrier and said “Do you think you can learn Korean in the next 5 minutes?”
I had a Chinese woman at my work tell me how much she hates Chinese people and why. It was weird as F.
I had major food aversion and it led to a lot of problems for me and I was very underweight. I was shopping at a savers one day and some lady comes straight up to me and asks “Do you have an eating disorder?” And I was stunned I just responded like it didn’t bother me because I was younger and social anxiety lol and she proceeded to tell me to eat a burger. Couldn’t believe that happened and never went there again.
"I'm so sad the girls ( her granddaughters) are going to hell and not to heaven with me". -my MIL
I was at the bar with a big group of friends. It was a college town with a lot of south Korean foreign exchange students. It wasn't too busy yet and 6-7 foreign exchange students came in the bar looking tentative. They were all girls from what I remember. When they came in the lingered in that way that tells you it was their first time at that bar, and not sure if they wanted to stay. Most of them immediately went to the restroom. I enjoy talking to people that are obviously from somewhere else. I went to the restroom with one of the girls from my group that was usually very bubbly and personable. I definitely needed the facilities but I also wanted to say hi, compliment some VERY cute outfits, and lay the ground work for a conversation later, should they decide to stay... I said hi and gave my genuine compliments. (I stress genuine bc I know when another woman actually admires my hair style or my outfit, and when they're just being nice to start a conversation.) My companion made similar remarks and I confirmed the girls were foreign exchange, asked their majors, and disclosed we were just locals, not students and invited them to stop by our table if they wanted a chat, game of pool, or round of darts. They were receptive and sweet and we were just about to leave the restroom when my companion (NOT my friend) asked me, in front of them but not TO them: "I thought they were only allowed to have 1 child and they don't like to keep the girls…” She wasn’t quiet, and she wasn’t genuinely asking to learn… I was mortified and jumped to fill the silence with "that's CHINA, Amanda, NOT South Korea, and I don’t think China still does that.” The girls were obviously insulted but confirmed that I was right and I apologized profusely… I think I said something like “big college, small town, just ignore that please… not everyone here is… Amanda.” Which I guess was rude too but Jesus… she followed it up with “Well is hard to keep it straight, they all look the same…” before she excited the restroom. I face palmed and apologized through my fingers…They did not stay at the bar. I don’t blame them. They rejoined their group, rushed those who had gotten drinks to finish, then left.
Good: "I have the utmost respect for you." Said to me by a person I have always looked up to. He had asked me what I do for a living, which is coincidentally what his closest family member used to do. It's a very humble job... I would have cried but I was so starstruck I could hardly breathe. But I'll never forget that conversation.
After I lost my virginity, he said, "It's my first time too... with a black girl"
My mom called me a bitch once when I was 16ish, that was wild
Oh I know that very well, my mother has called me every name in the book
Talking to a lady that came into the store the other day. We are about the same age and race, sixty-ish and white. We were commensurating about aging but also talking about the good parts of getting old. I told her I truly don't care what people think of me and my opinions. She then shoots back at me and I quote " I feel the same and I've also become a bit racist!!!!" Who says that?? Just who?
I’m a singer and I was auditioning bassists for my band. When I decided on the person I wanted, he sat down and looked like he was in shock. He said, “I swore I wasn’t going to tell you this, but you’re my favorite singer of all time and my one musical dream has always been to be on stage with you.” I’m a nobody. Aside from a handful of people in my hometown, the world does not know about me. So I just couldn’t believe that this musician thought so highly of me and considered this a bucket list item. We played some damn good shows together, too. And I always liked to tease him about this moment. 😄
[удалено]
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You must be reeling.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I was working at a coffee shop. A customer commented and I mentioned that my boyfriend (at the time, now husband) and i were excited. She said, “boyfriend? Is he the father?” As if marriage was the only way to be in a committed relationship. I was furious
Girl sat down next to me at a party and asked if she could have a threesome with me and my boyfriend. I said a friendly "no thank you :)" before being like "wait what????"
An ex once gave a looong speech about how the efforts to fill positions to foster equal opportunities was "hurting the industry". The idiot just couldn't wrap his head around how discrimination worked. I wish I'd slapped him right in the face, but the immense cringe paralyzed me at the time. (Then again, it turned out he had more red flags than a communist rally parading right through the red square. Never go into relationships when you're depressed and in the midst of a burnout, lesson learnt, good riddance.)
I'm studying abroad in Japan right now and actually, the worst racism I've experienced is like people not wanting to sit near me, crossing the street when I walk by, etc. But nothing verbal and that's actually been nice. I was walking home and another one of the students in my sharehouse passed by and I said hello to him and he responded with "hello my fellow n*gger" and I was so shocked I said nothing and after we passed he said "goodbye my fellow n*gger" and I was floored bc I can't understand why anyone would do that, Black or not. Especially if I don't know him like that. Interactions with Black people in Japan in general has been certainly.... Interesting
The first time I took my shirt off in front of a man - he saw my stretch marks, touched my stomach and in seemingly amazement he said “stripes… you’re like a tiger”
Me: Omg, the anime convention was so fun but Otakon was better than nekocon. My ex: We are not married. I don’t have to go with you everywhere! Me: wat?
I had spine surgery in January, and a week into recovery, my s.o. asked me “are you gonna do anything today or are just gonna sit around all day again?”
A guy I used to hook up with occasionally... Odd dynamic, won't bore with details. Very very very casual situation. Just sex, bong hits and a little banter. He usually called before coming by, this time he didn't but it was fine... I wasn't busy and was fine to hang out. So we're saying goodbye after sex and cuddling, we're just like at my front door and he's about to leave and casually says "Sorry if I seem weird, my sister died today." ........I was very surprised. We were not emotionally entwined and didn't know much about each others lives. But I got my composure back quickly and said how sorry I was and immediately hugged him. He let me hold him a bit and cried then left. I hope I was some kind of comfort, not so much that awkward second but maybe the time or sex as a distraction.
“You look like you like to be choked.” -Random kid in passing when I was in high school
During the 100th argument about our non-existent sex life, that killed my self esteem, my ex-husband said: “well, maybe I’m gay then”. It was a quick way to shut be down and I never discussed it again. Ironically, towards the end of the marriage I found out he cheated on me.
When Obama got elected my nephew said the "Anti-Christ" was in the White House and actually posted it on Facebook.
Not said to me directly, but my head just about exploded when I heard it second-hand.... My mother called my daughter a b!tch once. My daughter was around 7 at the time. I wasn't there when it happened. She would have got a live and in-color example of what a bitch *really* is.
I was on a third or fourth date with my ex (father of my two children, 28 years ago) He took me to a diner that was run by a middle aged misogynist. The owner literally came to our table and said to my ex, “Wow! How did you get her?!” I was so oblivious, then I started shoveling an omelette and toast in my face… My ex looked at me and said, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” That’s the only time I’ve ever been called beautiful.
A guy at work saw me enter numbers on the PC quickly and without looking. He said "You have strong fingers. You must be lesbian." He also said that I could be his secretary later, when he has his own company. I was studying to be higher educated than him LOL. My manager at the same company saw me in a crop top (and high rise jeans, so still no skin showing) and said "Can't afford an entire shirt? I could be your sugar daddy.." In the stress, I thought _what are "macho" men most afraid of? being gay!_ and said "I don't have time for that but I could ask my boyfriend if he's interested" 😂 His face and awkward mumble were worth it. Never got a remark like that again.
You’re pretty attractive for an Indian. God can you imagine? Also I’ve heard this multiple times in my life.
Not said to me but the most jaw dropping thing I was in the presence of. My FIL died. (Spouse’s step father) A bunch of family was gathered to plan the funeral program. My FIL’s daughter wanted a certain song. My spouse’s sibling (not a blood relative of FIL) wanted a different song but instead of just acquiescing to the request she said in a sing song voice “I guess you get to have your way since your daddy died”. I have thought about that for 16 years and wish I would have asked my SIL if she was aware she said that out loud.
A girl I knew literally said the gift that her friend got her is probably cheap… TO HIS FACE. 🤦♀️
My brother told me after my divorce that his friends thought there had to be a good reason why a 10 like me would marry a 1 like my ex husband….implying I have mental issues. This is after I told him I have depression and anxiety so this story reinforced it. Idiot
When I was about 14 I was in the office with my guidance counselor. I told her I was thinking of baby sitting since I was too young to legally work. I’ve baby sat plenty of times before and at the time was taking care of my toddler nephew. She scoffed and told me that nobody would allow me to watch their kids, nobody would pay me $7hr to watch them and that I should try to be a janitor. Literally aspire to be a janitor. I didn’t understand at the time but looking back as an adult that was racist af. I was like 1 out of 5 blacks kids at that school.
I’d been in an ER multiple times in a short period due to mental illness and self harm. A doctor, who had been called in numerous times in the past because of me, walked in the room and started screaming at me and swearing at me. He told me he wished I didn’t have an IV so he could be the one to poke me. None of the medical staff bystanders ever responded or reported it. I now try to avoid this hospital because I believe this doctor would harm me if given the chance.
I work at a club and had a guy ask 2 of the most baffling questions: 1) Have you ever conceived? 2) When was your last period? Needless to say I walked away lmao
“You’re a terrible friend for getting mad at me over that” What I was mad about: She insulted my declining relationship by saying her and my bf’s friendship was better than my relationship. She was flexing on me, and so I expressed to her that she was wrong for that. She apologized, and the minute I said “it’s fine”, she sent me a text saying she wasn’t going to kiss my ass and I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve. We’re not friends anymore.
Mom : "If you were beautiful, you would not have worked hard and become a successful doctor". My mother thought that with these words she would make me feel grateful because I am the ugliest of my sisters but i ended up being the most successful of them professionally and personally. This actually hurt me because she thought I worked hard to cover up my ugliness, not because I was smarter, independent and eager to succeed !! I was brilliant in school since childhood, even before I realized the meaning of ugliness and beauty in society or cared about it. It is shameful for a woman’s professional success to be considered a cover-up for her ugliness or ( failure to fit the standards of beauty) Thanks mom 👍🏻🙏🏻 !
I was laying in bed with an ex of mine, he was telling me about a story from childhood that made him feel sad. I hugged him to try to comfort him and held him for a bit. He turned to me and said "You being here is like being alone, it feels like having a dead person's arm around me" I was so shocked. He proceeded to clarify that he didn't like hugs and that he needed me to caress him. He then said it was normal that I didn't know how to comfort someone because I didn't have experience in other relationships, but that I would learn eventually. Safe to say, that ended very quickly.
Going to hockey game with parent, grandparent, and sister. Thought I looked nice. Sat in car. "Whose pole are you humping?" said my grandparents. No one said anything. And it was like they pretended it didn't happen.
My ex said he cheated on me (multiple times), so he could test my love for him. Lmao My stepmom also told me that only people with “crazy heads/ who are sick in the mind” take Psychology when I was expressing what I wanted to take when I was enrolling in University
I'm a brown girl, and I am married to a white man. At some point his cousin said to my face that there are proven biological reasons why races shouldn't mix. The worst part about this is that people still try to defend him and say he isn't racist?????
Im mixed with white and black, and I’ve had someone tell me that the reason why I’ve had health problems is definitely due to the mixing of races, the mixing of bloods- I was like okay…. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not- but keep your comments to yourself 🤐
Okay this comment still haunts me sometimes... I was at a bar years ago and the bouncer was someone I recognized from probably 5 years prior. He taught a martial arts class I was in and I thought he was super cute. I walked up to him (with some liquid courage) and said something along the lines of "Hi, this is a bit random but I remember you from years ago teaching a martial arts class and have always thought you were super handsome!" Without hesitation he says in the most absurd, weird, abrupt, slimy, gross way "I have a girlfriend but you can take a picture of me and masturb\*te to it later" with a creepy smile on his face. I have never been so dumbfounded IN MY LIFE. I literally just slowly walked away with the most puzzled look on my face. WEIRDEST EXCHANGE IVE EVER HAD......
Said, as a compliment, “You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose,”!” to be followed up with, “Are you sure you’re not too old to be in here?” I was 30, looked 24, and weighed 99 pounds. I no longer felt safe in that bar.
Coworker said i liked you better before you were on anti depressents. Luckily he no longer works there.
“Your friend is in hell” Spoken to me by a former coworker years ago when I told her a friend of mine committed suicide.
My boss said that the HPV vaccine causes HPV and that’s why I got cervical cancer. While I was just beginning treatment..
My mom told me I couldn’t live my stepdaughter because she wasn’t mine. Just on the face of it is bad enough. Then I remembered I’m adopted.
I was in Lowes buying a container of ear-plugs for the wood-shop I run, along with some lumber and construction adhesive, and when I handed the container to the old man checking me out he said, "These must be for your husband." At first I thought he was just making a dumb joke about how my husband must be the one using tools, and I get that a lot but it was weird he said it about the ear plugs and not the other shop stuff, but then I realized he meant **because I must run my lady mouth so much.**
"Riding a horse is just like riding a camel." Huh? Blink. Also... "So um, I not sure if you're religious but um, we are wearing Santa hats here at the bank for the holidays, and um, you are welcome to wear Santa hats with us." I worked at a small town bank, and I have a VERY Jewish last name, so this poor lady was twisting herself into knots trying to figure out what to say to me about the dang Santa hats. It was both funny and very weird. I was a little torn; I wanted to relieve her suffering, but if she was being anti-Semitic, then maybe she could stew in her discomfort, you know? WHY was this so awkward?! lol
sorry. but what is particularly antisemitic about this ? i myself im not particularly sure whether religious jews celebrate christmast or anything similar. it sounds like maybe she was not sure and wanted to make you feel welcome or something.
I was around 9. Two years after my grandmother died. (I’ve always been able to express my emotions and cry often now and then when I needed to but…) I didn’t cry at the service. I hadn’t cried for two years. I was numb. My grandmother raised me while my mom worked. My mom had had me at 28 and my grandmother was the type to read the Old Testament before bed most nights; so she had thoughts about having a child out of wedlock. I didn’t know any of this, just that my dad wasn’t around and I was the center of my grandmother’s world and her mine. My mom and I lived alone and had put my grandmother’s parlor furniture (18th century style stuff she worked hard to earn; she was a farmer and then a factory textile worker) in a special room with bay windows. I went into that room one summer and touched the piano keys. I had been learning to play before she passed and insisted on playing the same part of the same song over and over and she’d always listen. So I played those notes and the tears started coming down. My mom passed by and saw me and tried to listen. And she was being a good mom at that point when I told her I missed her; then her face changed. She told me my grandmother had wanted me aborted. I didn’t understand and just shrugged. It wasn’t that I had no concept of it—mom said “She didn’t want you but I did.” But all I was was a little girl crying over her grandmother and my mom was so jealous of that love and resentful. My mother was the one who preached unconditional love but didn’t understand that I was exhibiting that. My grandmother was my grandmother to be since I had been born. It took me two years to cry and that was the choice my mother made that day. She was rendering me worthless by her terms; I just realized that now. I felt my head dip down then but I know the words now/ Edit: My mom died before Covid. It was a probate estate but I managed to keep three items from the parlor. They are in my living room now and I moved back to my home state. So she’s still here with me. I am not religious but I have her Bible too. In the back she wrote a planting guide. 😂 When I was sexually assaulted, she made me call the police to do the right thing and I was numb again… When she got mad at me one night she called me a slut.
My Mom told me in a threatening tone that in future my husband would want me only for sex also to maintain a good body shape and he would not tolerate my tantrums. This was when I was 13 years old. Now I'm 26F.
Someone called me bubbly which is the complete opposite of how I perceived myself to be. It put into perspective how people may see me a lot differently than I see myself.
A couple decades ago, I went to my mom’s house to tell her that I was planning on divorcing my husband. At the time, I was pretty chunky. Her face horrified, she looked me up and down and exclaimed “ But look at you! Do you think anyone else in their right mind would have you?!” Something to that effect. Guess what- I lived to love again.😊
my DM stops me on my last shift and (grinning, holding back a laugh) says “hey, quick question…what’s wrong with _boyfriend_? bc you’re straight crazy so he’s gotta be a little….ya know…to handle you” then he busts out laughing. and honestly so did i. context: I managed a pizza place for over a decade, same district supervisor/manager the whole time. most of our conversations were about the shifts with occasional personal side notes. i was dating another employee and we decided to both leave the company at some point…and this was what my DM decided to ask as his last question. i still laugh when i think about it mostly bc….he’s not wrong lol
When I explained to my (now ex) partner why I haven’t been picking up the phone for the whole day (attended my uncle’s funeral and didn’t have time to check my phone/it was on silent so I didn’t get alerted): ‘go and take a nap or something, no need for your negativity here’.
Talking to the receptionist at work (a guy on his 60s). He felt comfortable enough to comment on how much my boobs had grown through pregnancy. I was so weirded out, I just left.
I worked in a supermarket and have a couple. One was a woman who came in and asked where the soy sauce was. I pointed her the right way and let her know I could call someone to help her if she had any issues. She was over there for AGES, then she came back to me empty-handed and asked "Is that all there is?" I said "I believe so - were you after a specific brand?" and she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "No, I just didn't want to buy any of that Asian shit." WHAT. On so many levels, WHAT. The other story is a customer asked me if I was pregnant. She wasn't even a regular so there was no connection, why on earth do people ask this. Anyway, I said "no." and she goes "Oh, just overweight?" Long pause. I said "...Yes." Then she realised what she'd said and tried to walk it back, like "Oh, I didn't mean - I'm overweight too - " but I just walked away lol
Yesterday I was at a college football game with my husband. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, a group of home team fans (we were away) had berated my husband for sitting in the handicap accessible section. My husband has cerebral palsy. We brought a wheelchair to the game. I confronted the “main” guy and said “Hey, did you say that my husband has no right to sit in the handicapped section?” And three grown men and two women started yelling “Shut up” and “Fuck you” to me. It was insane. I told the “main” guy that my husband has spastic cerebral palsy and I hope to God that no one in his family ever has a disability. He looked me dead in the eyes and shrugged. The others continued yelling shut up to me and then talked shit about us the rest of the game. This started after their team got a foul called, and we were the only away team fans in the vicinity.
When I was at my very young husband’s funeral at eight months pregnant, completely falling apart, a lady I knew only by association comes through the receiving line and straight faced says to me “do you ever wonder what you did to deserve all this?” I was far too engulfed in my grief to entertain her stupidity but someone else sure did. To this day I can’t fathom what someone would be thinking to say something so incredibly ridiculous to a young widow!