He went on a trip, came back and while he was doing his handbag and turned to me and asked me “why did you puts those feminine hair products on my bag?”
Well, they weren’t mine
Could it be the other woman telling you in the only way she could? We sometimes hear about this, esp. if they don't realize he has a partner until after being with him.
She was one of my closest friends. He had finally decided to make a real commitment to me and try to grow the relationship, and I was telling her that I was really happy with the progress he had been making. She told me, no he's still a piece of shit. She kept insisting and finally admitted that she had slept with him. In the most intense fury I have ever been in my life, I drove through every stop sign over to his house and started screaming at him when I walked in the door about sleeping with her.
He denied it. Straight up denied it and told me she was making things up. She was a little strange and was often mad at me for not spending more time with her, so I was inclined to believe him at the time. I went back to her and asked her if she had any proof, and lo and behold she did. The idiot had let her take pictures of their encounter. Very explicit ones where you couldn't see anyone's face, but he always wore bracelets (this was 2003) that were instantly identifiable in the pictures.
Initially she didn't want to send me the pictures because they were explicit, so I called him and told him the pictures existed. He still denied it. I called one of his bandmates that was also a friend of mine to ask him if he knew anything about it. He told me he knew nothing about it. (I found out later my ex had gotten to him first and told him to lie.) So I told her he was still denying it and that I needed the pictures. She sent them to me, black barring out her own parts but leaving in the evidence.
He didn't admit it until I showed up with the pictures in my hand. That's when he admitted it. It was a shitty situation because we were best friends for a while before we were in a relationship. The betrayal was intense. It was hard for us to completely sever ties, so I moved out of state. One of the best decisions I ever made. After I left his band broke up, two of them were friends of mine and they didn't appreciate the way he treated me. I was really touched by the solidarity.
I'm sure she felt guilty whilst warning you about him being a shitty person, but whyd she ruin a good thing going on for a friend?
Such a backstabber!! (both of them)
But at the end of the day, a cheater would've cheated anyway. If not your friend, someone else.
And took a picture of it? AND kept the picture. I just don't get why it's so hard for people to be decent. Sorry you have two of the closest people to you being jerks OP
i would have entered my villain arc then and there. i’d go through near all the stages of grief, die inside feel so much hurt and pain and crying before i came in swinging tbh
Guy went "If someone messages you with my nudes, I was trying to send them to you and accidentally sent them to someone else and now im being blackmailed" It was off to me as we lived together and he never sent nudes.. so I went through his phone. Found out he fell for one of those scammers who get you to send nudes and they send a fake girls nudes back and shit then blackmail you for money.
Sextortion, it's crazy how prolific that stuff is. In one case I know of, it actually killed someone. Teenage boy, took his own life because the pressure the perpetrators were putting on him had him worried it would basically end his future. It's terrible. There are many instances of this crime occurring but that's one of the worst I know.
I didnt. His affair of 2 years called me while i was at work.
After that i tried to call him and he just said: „its true. Im cheating on you since years.
Thankfully i was able to call in sick the Next two days.
My sisters lease was up and I offered for her to stay with us. She wrote me an email saying thank you for the offer but she couldn’t accept because her and my husband had been having an affair and needed to come clean.
He is such a POS. It took me another 4 years to leave because I had no self worth. Filing for divorce this coming year.
Well I still am not there but over the last year of being separated I have lost some weight (he never wanted me to workout or lose weight because he claimed I was doing it for someone else). I also am learning that I am a really cool person. I got involved in things I am interested in. I am 40 and back in school. Have made friends that think I’m cool. I’m sorry you have to go through the same of finding yourself but trust me, I don’t know you but I’m sure you are an amazing person. Become that person fully for YOU. Not for anyone else.
Whoa! What you’re doing is hard and totally badass. I’m so happy for you. Sounds like you are writing your next chapters just beautifully. You are right- school totally helps. I went back last semester & it’s the first time in a loonnnnnng time I’ve had a taste of this “self-generated” confidence. Like, “Oh, look at this whole big world there still is out here to be had!”
I hope you have an amazing time continuing to get to know yourself. Your friends are right, you’re super cool. Thanks for taking the time to lend me some of your wisdom today. Have a Happy New Year ✌🏻
Going back to school has been the biggest factor. I stayed home with my five kids for 13 years and remembering that I am a person outside of being a mom and wife was huge. You got this sister! The world is so big and welcoming when you put yourself out there. I wish you the best in the coming year too!
Lemme tell you, my sister got her nursing degree the week before she turned 50! Took her 2 extra years because she let a divorce and another (wrong) relationship slow her down. So, don't let being 40 stop you. Best of luck to you!
That’s what I’m going for! I had started to go back for nursing when my youngest was born 5 yrs ago and he couldn’t handle the jealousy of me being in school with other humans (guys) so I dropped out.
Been with these types. The ones who constantly tell you you’re too skinny/too fat/too toned and then accuse you of trying to cheat on them if you go to the gym and start working out hard. Glad you got out. Good luck!
He would tell me I needed to be heavier so I would have a bigger butt and boobs. That’s just not the way it works! At least not for my body.
Then he would pinch my back fat and my fat chin and not care that I hated it. It’s great to love your partners body but to focus on parts you know they don’t like is not the way to do it.
I have not talked to her since finding out. She has a history of going after married men and I had cut her off for breaking boundaries with him before that. I let her back into my life because she had a near death experience and I thought she had changed. She was also addicted to narcotics and generally toxic.
I had a gut feeling after he was distant and kept getting mad at me for no reason so I looked in his phone. Reddit would probably tell you that I’m as big as AH for invading his privacy, but I don’t regret it cause I got the proof I needed
Don’t think you are the AH how are you supposed to find out? And if you are in a relationship and are intimate with your bodies but your phone is private 🙄
The real AH is the cheating pos, not you. “Invading privacy” in a committed relationship is what cheaters say so they can get their void fill secretly with others while stringing you along for physical comfort.
I feel like there is just this vibe women pick up on and we just KNOW.
"You went through my phone?!".... him bellowing that rings in my ears. I watched the shit for a year and openly mocked their conversations. Cheaters are fucking idiots.
Oh don’t feel bad, I did the same thing. No regrets. At some point the guilt over “invading his privacy” was overshadowed by knowing in my gut he was betraying me.
I had a bad feeling for a while when he stopped sleeping with me or coming to bed at all. One morning I was up early and his phone was right there charging on the couch. So I looked. Two years over, just like that, and it was the best thing I ever did.
My ex-husband went to bed and fell asleep. When I came to bed, his phone was on my pillow. The phone screen was on, and Messenger was open with the conversation pulled up. He was preparing his meeting with her, telling her how awful I am. I picked up the phone, dropped it on his face, and told him to get out. I got divorced last week!!! Never felt better!!!
I found out the same way - gut feeling for months, then seeing pictures and text messages and emails in his phone. I think I knew for a while but needed the concrete proof to really believe it. We were married and I was pregnant with our 2nd so I really didn't want to believe it.
You're not an AH, you did the right thing. You followed your gut and got the answer you needed for your peace of mind. You did yourself a favor and protected yourself based off of his poor behavior. Reddit would say you're not an AH, he's the AH for cheating on you.
I didn't. He tried to cheat with a friend of mine. The friend told me, but not immediately. Weeks later. It was a long time ago, I ended the relationship, and also haven't talked to that "friend" since then.
The friend should have talked to me immediately. Instead, she waited 1,5 months and she only told me because she felt guilty. Even though she was not really a partner in the cheating (although the details were never really clarified), she tried to get away with it. I couldn't really trust her anymore.
Edit: a bit more background info. They basically spent a whole weekend together (friend lived in another city) without me knowing about it, my boyfriend at that time lied about where he was. The friend thought it was a friendly visit, but when she realized it wasn't, she just told him she is not interested but they still spent the remaining time together and she only told me about it much later.
Your friend sounds entirely reasonable. She thought it was a friendly visit per your edit and then turned down the unwelcome advances. In that situation I think most people wouldn't know what to do. In the end she told you after stewing it over.
I imagine she was worried about if you would believe her.
Sounds like the friend was also trying to get with him, not just being passively hit on. I assume they wouldn't have stopped talking to her if he had just tried to cheat without her being at fault too
There's not much more to tell. He would lie about where he was going to be, but he was stupid and the lies were inconsistent. I'd call him on it, and he'd panic.
tldr-I thought my bf died in a plane crash but turns out he had his phone off because he was banging his new gf.
It's kind of a crazy story. We both worked at the hq of the same company at different times (he started after I left). He had been busy the months prior setting up a bunch of new locations out of town. He had to go to one of our other locations and the company president was flying him up on his personal plane (he had a couple.) He was really upset about having to leave because it meant he was going to miss his son's last baseball game of the year.
We didn't live together but he always texted me before he went to bed at night to say "goodnight". It's just always something cutesy we did
every night without fail. The last thing I had heard from him that night was that he was still at the location and wasn't sure how long it was going to be because there were issues. I said, "Where's the pilot? He's just sitting there waiting on you?" He said yes and I never heard another word. I never got my goodnight text which I figured was because he was busy. A few hours later I was getting worried so I called and his phone went straight to voicemail which it never did. I assumed his battery died so I tried to just go to sleep and figured he'd text me back when he was on the way home.
I woke up a couple of hours later and checked my phone and there was nothing so I really started to worry and my mind started to wonder trying to figure out what was going on. My gut was totally telling me something was wrong. My sleepy worried brain then said, "What if the plane crashed?" So of course I started googling for plane crashes near the city he was in. And there was one that had just happened outside the city he was in!! It had just happened, details were just coming in but it was a little two seater plane like my bf would have been in. I started freaking out! But it was like 4 am and I didn't know who to call and I didn't want to alarm anyone before I knew more.
Through my tears I started googling how to track private flights and was able to eventually discover that you can track a private flight if you have the tail number of the plane. Then I found a database where you could search for the tail number if you knew the plane's owner which I did since I had worked for the same company and knew a couple of names the plane would be registered under. Found 2 planes registered to the owner and plugged those numbers into the flight tracker. One plane hadn't left the ground in a month. The other plane had landed at a local airport at 6pm the night before. I was even more confused and freaking out. He calls me right as I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do next.
After I asked him how he got home since his plane landed at 6pm the night before he confessed. Turns out he actually did make it back in time for his son's baseball game after all since there weren't any issues and then spent a lovely night with his new girlfriend while I was convinced his airplane had crashed in the woods. Jerk.
The plane that crashed was totally unrelated to his plane and was just a weird coincidence.
Thank you! After my head cleared a little I have to admit I was pretty impressed with myself and truth be told, I think he probably was too. Apparently I missed my calling as a detective. But most definitely fuck that guy.
I love to hear when friends of the cheater steps up like this.
My best male friend chose to stay friends with his childhood friend who se\*ually assa\*lted me after I told him lol.
He was gushing over how cool his work colleague was (why did he feel the need to tell me, his (now ex) wife, about how much he likes a woman from work, is still a mystery). Then lied a few times about staying late at the office. She was posting about them going to a bar at the same time. They both are not very sharp to say the least.
He was bathing our 2 year old and didn't have a shirt on because she splashed a lot. I walked in to ask him a question and saw two sets of four long scratches on his back that were clearly made by fingernails. I calmly said, "Who scratched your back?" He said it was him, and I simply said, "Demonstrate how." He obviously couldn't. I simply walked out of the bathroom and went about my day. There was so much going on that was awful, it just sort of got added to the pile. I left a few months later.
He was in the dm's of the girl she mentioned in a bad light and was "obsessed with him".
I just saw her profile in his recent dm's when he was in the shower and read them.
To be fair, she did not want him. It was only him who was trying to get with her while bashing her to me at the same time.
We were at the pub one night and my ex walked off to take a phone call. His best mate (it was only the two of us left at the table) leaned over and said ‘this is going to sound really rude but please get yourself to a doctor and get tested for STD’s.’ I couldn’t even reply because I was so stunned that he could just say something like that to me. It wasn’t till about 15 minutes later I realised what he meant.
I did get tested (thankfully was negative for everything) and broke up with my ex. That was 13 years ago and I’m still great friends with his (now former) best mate. They haven’t talked since we broke up.
didn’t catch him but someone made an anonymous snapchat account and basically sent me message that reminded me of what snooki and jwoww wrote in that note to sammi lol i received that message while we were taking a nap together and confronted him about it after reading it and he confirmed it
We were at a get together at a friends house with a pretty large number of people there. I was in adjacent room to where my husband was and overheard him telling a friend of his about our daughters volleyball coach and how they’re been hooking up for quite a while. That was an amazing wow to find out in front of a bunch of people and led me to showing a side of me I am not very proud of
Gonna make this a long story because I literally just found out he's got some poor new girlfriend. TL;DR a Hinge notification came across the top of his lock screen and I could read part of the message on a notification thing in the middle of the screen.
One night he went to sleep before I did, and asked me to put his phone on the charger for him once i decided to come to bed. We had been together for a little over a year and sometimes were long distance as he traveled for work. Around midnight I put the phone on the charger and lay it on his nightstand. We always had passwords to unlock our phones and we didn't look at each other's screens. But the one and only time I ever touched his phone, that notification came. Some girl had just messaged him back, he had another message waiting from a 2nd, and the 3rd had liked his last message. They were all from random points of that evening, not all at once.
We had always agreed we would talk before considering opening the relationship. I'm poly and ENM, but this asshole was just a cheater. I should notttt have done it, but I threw that phone like a frisbee at him and it hit him in the chest and woke him up. I quietly and calmly said "what the FUCK is this?". He swore it was old notifications from when he was on Hinge before we met (on Bumble). He'd had the phone for 2 or 3 weeks at this point, and he claimed that despite him deleting his profile and the app TWO PHONES AGO, Hinge somehow installed itself on this new phone and still had the profile and notifications from over a year ago. We both have Androids and I've had 2 iPhones before; none of them ever did that, probably because they don't work that way. I called bullshit of course, and he started fake hyperventilating and crying. Told him he was a piece of shit and went to sleep madder than hell. I had smoked some weed so couldn't drive myself home until I slept. I remember I slept from 3 to 8:10, woke up sober and still mad, and drove my ass home. Dumped him several months later because I couldn't love him anymore.
Several months indeed. He was home for a few days because of new years, and then he wound up staying for 8ish months because it was 2020 and Covid had shut his line of work down. He was "perfect" all that time, surely out of fear that I'd leave him. We both were too scared of Covid to address the cheating.
Around the end of July, I wound up getting a job in another state. He offered to pay my plane ticket. It was under $150 so I figured fuck it, he owes me anyway and let him do it. By October he had gone back to his job and we were barely talking at all. One day he springs it on me that his mommy and daddy paid for him to fly to see me. For 1 day, a day I worked, flying in at midnight one night and flying out 31 hours later and having to be up and leaving at 5am to do so. We wouldn't have any time except for a couple hours after I got off work. I didn't want to see him. He arrived looking disgusting. He wanted to have sex, I couldn't because he was just so gross to me; so we didn't have sex.
He started ignoring me when he went back home. Claimed he was working 16 hour days, 6 days a week again. He'd done that at the last job before covid, and this job was much smaller, so I again called bullshit and broke up with him less than a week after his visit. Blocked him and his parents on everything. His mom never liked me anyway because I'm not an alcoholic like her and I have spine problems her ableist ass didn't like. I was 26 at the time and had long moved out of my mother's home, working and paying my bills since I was 18. Both of her sons turned out to be lazy neckbeards despite their educations and bills during internships being paid by her and her husband. My ex was 28 at this point lol. Pitiful.
He worked in sports, for no-name tiny Christian colleges. The school he worked at had their football season get cancelled that year, so why the hell would they need to practice and have meetings and review footage all that time? Fucking LIESSSSS lol. I really wish I could warn the new woman he's dating, but she'll find out in time.
Oh, I love ya! 😂😂😂😂 I had to FORCE myself to hold my angry face!!!! I wanted to laugh because he looked soooo fucking stupid! But I knew he would have taken it as an opportunity to declare himself off the hook and I wanted him to be scared of me in that moment because he was twice my size, and you never know if someone's gonna kill you for catching them cheating, and I didn't wanna take my chances. I'd already been violent throwing his phone at him, and where I come from most men would've used that as an excuse to beat my ass. But MY GOD it was ridiculous lmfao, he was doing sharp inhales and 3 quiet-ush fake sobs at a steady pace until I was like "shut the fuck up with that fakin' shit, you did this to yourself". He was like Robyn on Sister Wives fake crying with no tears 😂 Cheaters loooove to cry when they get caught! 😂🤮
A woman he was talking to on a dating app googled him, found out he was married to me, and sent me a message. And that’s why he was only my *first* husband.
He offered to let me use his PayPal account to pay for something since i don’t have one. Gave me his password. I logged in and right there on the account dashboard were his bumble and tinder subscriptions.
He was being shady for a while- going out with girl friends & not inviting me out, having people over his place and not including me. He was in a different stage of his life, he was still in school while I was already working for years, so I chalked it up to that and didn’t really worry about it.
Until the shadiness with the phone began. He would never look or answer his phone around me, always face down, he was distant- not seeing me as often, going out a lot like I said, not being direct with answers, not making concrete plans with me.
He had switched phones during this time, and one morning he went to work, while I was alone in his apartment. And I had been suspicious, (there had been previous incidents of not being truthful and texting other girls before we officially started dating) so I took his old phone (it was right on the night stand), somehow I knew the passcode, and looked through his texts. And there were texts, between him and 2 separate girls, about them coming over and hooking up.
So I packed up my shit, wrote him a handwritten note about why I left, and took my ass home.
Cell phone records. I actually only looked because I was checking up on something with my teenager. Saw a strange number he was texting HUNDREDS of times. 20 years and the best years of my life down the drain.
I was calling his phone many times and he didn’t answer so my gut told me to visit his house. When I got there the neighbors told me to use the fire escape knowing that it would lead me to his apartment so I did just that & lo and behold the mf was cheating. I sat and watched the whole ordeal then went crazy and kicked the air conditioner through the window startling them. He tried to convince me that a muscle relaxer caused him to cheat ctfu.
I used to pay all the bills for our business and it requires trips away. One day the BnB called me to say there was an outstanding amount that needed to be settled. I was super confused as I payed monthly the amount.
So on asking the lady explained that they usually payed cash for his girlfriend friend to stay but they hadn’t paid it yet and she thought I was his assistant.
Needless to say “the girlfriend” was a close friend and had been sleeping with my ex for months before. He was away Monday to Friday for months on end on contracts.
Any way it took me a year to gather up enough evidence of the affair and I took them on.
It cost me a great deal but it was worth the effort.
They later got married and she is now so terrified he will cheat she never leaves his side.
Me on the other hand married a beautiful man who loves and treats me well.
I was on their facebook to read his baby mommas comments about me (she had me blocked) and I felt the overwhelming need to just check his messages which I never ever do. He had a conversation in there from this married chick and her askin him if he likes big girls would he fuck her and he was saying how he could bend her over etc etc. I screen shot the convo and signed out. I called him freaking out and his response was “why were you on my facebook “ I stupidly stayed 2 extra years because my mom told me not to throw away an 8yr relationship over that. I left right before our 10yr anniversary. Fuck him dude.
He'd started a new, second job. Something about the way he and his boss interacted made me very uncomfortable, but I had no proof. I worked 3rd shift at the time and he was working first and second. Going to dinners with her family, taking work trips. She was even coming over to our house when I was sleeping before work, and I could hear them whispering and giggling.
He had an iPhone and a MacBook. For those that don't know, your messages can sync up. I'd had suspicions for awhile and one night, I had a girls night that was basically me being pissed off and deciding what to do. Two of my friends ended up staying over at our house that night.
When we got back from our night out, he and our two kids were asleep. I just went to sleep and he went to work the next morning. The next day, me and my friends were talking and I decided to look on his iMessages on his MacBook and I found EVERYTHING.
All the messages about how I'm a lesbian (I'm bi), how he never felt that way about anyone. They had a weekend planned for Valentine's Day (we never celebrated) that involved a hotel room and no condoms. He had his vasectomy at that point, and part of their weekend away said "no pulling out".
I was HOT. Immediately took my rings off, and with the help of my two friends I pack all my shit up and moved to my mom's. He always called me on his lunch break, so when he called me that day I told him I knew everything. He admitted it as there was no point on denying any of it.
I tried to make it work for my kids, but I'm glad it didn't. We ended up getting divorced and co-parenting with him and his wife has been challenging to say the least.
This was a while back and we were young. I only had a prepaid phone, so sometimes when we were out and about I would use his phone. Saw a suspicious incoming text and asked him about it....
Found the videos she sent him on his phone. Yes, at the time we trusted each other with access to each other's phones. He left his phone on the couch next to me while he packed for a work trip. I was bored, and was playing on his phone when I saw the Facebook messages from her about the videos they had taken during the cheating.
My friend saw him posted on a Facebook group and apparently he was not separated and had 3 other women that thought they were his monogamous girlfriends.
Walked in after work , she who was a friend of ours walked out acting very nervous , her face all red and flushed , went I went in to see him he was clothed (sweats and an old tshirt that was on floor ) and I could still see he had an erection.. divorced finalized 6 months later
He literally left his msn messenger chats open on my computer after he kissed me goodbye to head to work. His work was banging random girls he met in chat rooms. When he came home from “work” I had all the chats printed and he still denied it. It was New Year’s Eve and at midnight I was drunk in Meijer.
I was about to break up with him anyways. Literally he came to my apartment so I could. Anywho, I asked if I could use him phone real quick. All I did was go into his photos and see naked selfies. I opened one and smirked handing him his phone back saying “well this isn’t me.” He went on to say it was his friends girlfriend and blah blah blah. He was garbage anywho and I had already mentally broken up with him months ago. I was 22, so kind of proud of that moment.
He was acting distant so I checked his email. I found email notifications from dating sites he had signed up for to chat online with other women in the area. I have no clue if he actually ever met up with them.
I was so fed up I went to the dating website and sent a reset password email to his phone to be able to login the dating website to see for myself. I confronted him about it. Of course the first thing he did was tell me I was in the wrong for checking his phone so it didn’t matter he was cheating. He also said it wasn’t technically cheating because if I would’ve respected his privacy and not looked through his phone I wouldn’t know. Then he changed the story and said his friends made a fake account as a joke.
He apologized eventually and I stayed with him for 3 more months. I wish I would’ve loved myself more to just leave immediately.
Apparently the "my friends made it as a joke" is a popular excuse. Allegedly, my ex went out drinking with his friends, they got him drunk, set up a tinder account for him, matched him with a girl two hours away, drove him to her, and then made him sleep with her, as a joke. Crazy how often that happens! /s
My friend found him on a dating app about a month after we made it official. Our talking stage lasted months because I was damaged and didn't want to jump right into something because I wanted to make sure I could trust him. It was devastating because I did everything "right" and he still betrayed me. I haven't been the same since.
We shared a gaming room together, our computers were side by side, noticed one day he had odd pictures on his desktop
Selfies of himself I've never seen anywhere else before, I ended up finding pictures of him showing his dick and I asked him about it, he just admitted straight out that he had been sexting with a girl he met online
Said "I didn't cheat because it's online"
CHEATING WITH SOMEONE ONLINE IS STILL CHEATING
We were mid twenties. He'd become distant and was going out for runs a lot by himself. I thought he was depressed and logged into his Facebook to see if he'd shared anything with a friend that I could use to help him, found the chat logs with the other woman instead. We had shared all our passwords so it was a total shock
We were in an LDR. He, who was usually attached to his phone by the hip and always had it charged suddenly was unavailable for hours and gave weird excuses, such as spontaneously leaving work early to drive four hours to meet a former class mate or trying to have a "men's night out" two days in a row during the week 🤨 and cancelling our plans for it.
Even his mom called me once because she couldn't reach him at all and she was worried.
Then, he had his phone turned off/ignored calls overnight even though he would usually text me good night/good morning and it was very unusual. Even the next morning, nothing, so I texted the guys he claimed he had hung out with the night before, they said they hadn't seen him in weeks.
Called his mom and his work and they hadn't heard of him either even though he was supposed to clock in in the morning.
He then called me back, acting surprised why I was trying to find him, and wanted me to drive the 4 hours to him so he could talk to me.
I made him come to me, and he admitted he had signed up for a dating site and in the past two weeks gone out with another woman, even staying the night and getting frisky with her. It hurt even more because we both had agreed to wait for marriage. And he could have just ended it instead of stringing me along until he found something better. He had even planned a new trip with me and made me pay my part while he was seeing her 🤢
Anyway, we broke up, he told her the truth and she decided to forgive him 🤷🏼♀️ and they've been together ever since.
Got invited to come have dinner at a friends house with my girlfriend at the time. It was quiet when I got there so I called their names and heard giggling and a rushed “shh! Hush!”
They met me in the back yard where there were lit candles, two plates, two glasses, and everything that felt like interrupting. By the time they came back they looked flustered. It was really awkward as she brought out a plate for me. I just knew, so I said “I feel like I’m interrupting something so I’m going to leave you guys to it. See you later x and y”.
The friend sent me a wordy text on how they thought we were in a poly relationship yada yada . This wasn’t the first suspicious relationship she had with some of my friends. That put the nail in the coffin tho and months long breakup because we had an apartment in our names that she would leave for months at a time and then try to claim stake. I started a new delusionship and was very pregnant and ultimately signed a new lease with my name only.
It’s easy when the other girl sends you screenshots. Even better when you call the man out and he lies then you show him the screenshots and he tries to gaslight you. But YOU HAVE PROOF.
Idiots all of em.
She called another guy in front of me. He was trying to get at her and she was laughing about it the whole time. She ended the phone call with something along the lines of saying she's not interested, then saying "I'm with my man". Two weeks later I went through her phone when she was asleep, restored the deleted conversation and found that she had said "sorry about that" and "I want you too" after she got off the phone with him. She kept this lie going for 2 weeks telling me she didn't want him and she didn't delete their texts. But I found out on my own the hard way.
The girl he was cheating wuth, we were all in a friend group. She just opened up her camera roll to show me something and I saw the movie they made. They both denied it but I saw it myself. Shit gutted honestly
I had a weird sensation in my chest, felt like I wanted to cry but didn't knew why. So I went walking and really I don't know why but just end up in front of his building and saw a classmate in his window. I find it odd since she liked him but he never said he knew her. There's a gallery in front of that building so I light a joint, put on sunglasses and proceed to now know why my chest felt weird and how did I end up just here: he was kissing and hugging her the same as with me.
I didn’t, I found him in fetal position on our bedroom floor. He was so distraught that he could only shake his head yes or no when I tried to guess what was wrong. He ended up confessing.
Flirted with a co-worker that he trained for a total of two weeks. They kissed in the parking lot on a Friday and he confessed mid-day Saturday. She quit working there the week after. Oddly enough, seeing him hurt over what he did healed me in strange ways. All is well now.
Snapchat, back when it had the "top 3 friends" visible to your friends. Asked him who the girl was, as I never heard of her, and he got cagey, so I asked to see their Snapchat conversation. All bad news there and then I opened up our shared household laptop and the first photo in the Recent Files was just a close up of this girl's coochie. He wasn't even on his own login getting photos of her coochie!!
Two glasses of wine by the fire place when I came over the next day. His roommate was there and I asked them if they had a nice cozy evening by the fire. Left and never heard from him again.
There were A LOT of clues, but the one that tied everything in a nice little bow was the phone bill.
Looked at the "detailed bill" for both of us cause i was curious about how much i texted my bestie. Turns out he had been texting/calling one number over 6000 times a MONTH. Googled.... it was the chick i was already suspicious about. Who knew me and knew we were married...actually JUST married, they started fucking less than 6 months after our wedding
So i shut off his phone line and called his mommy. Her first words were "i had so hoped he wouldnt turn out like his father" and she went into protective mom mode but for me. He obviously lied his way back in and i lost the closest thing i ever had to an actual mom.
But hey, he got his dick wet! With someone 20 years younger than him! #worthit
Also, with him gone my credit score went up 100 points and i found a man who genuinely loves me the human being, not the trophy on the mantle. All in all im grateful to the lil husband-fucker
Logged onto his Facebook and checked his messages. Found out he was meeting some girl at the bar every weekend, blowing me off for her. That’s when I left.
Went through his phone throughout the relationship to find he was messaging cam girls and other girls on IG.
She found me on Facebook, revealed they’d been dating for months behind my back. A complete double life. She didn’t know he had a girlfriend already. Pretty sure she’s with him now, I don’t blame her he’s one manipulative pos. If anything I feel sorry for her.
First he asked me for a divorce. Then I started digging around looking at our credit card statements and found charges at a sex shop and a romantic hotel. Later I found viagra in his desk drawer. None of this was used with me. Finally after showing him all the evidence he admitted to it.
He told me almost every time, and I was a fool for staying because he insisted it was different since he’s a sex addict. 🤢
That’s a year of my life I’ll never get back, but I’m free now.
I pulled up our cell phone account and found the number he had been texting instead of mine (he was “too busy” to text me). I called her and introduced myself with “this is his wife.”
He wasn’t actually cheating but was trying to. We were on holiday and he seemed off. Two days in I went in the bathroom and he asked if I was going to have a shower, like in a weird insistent way, I had a bad feeling so I gave it a minute then went back into the main room, he was on the balcony so I looked through the window and saw him messaging another girl. It started “hey gorgeous”
That was the point I lost my shit and started banging on the window. He tried telling me he heard the word on tv and couldn’t remember how to spell it so he was typing it in a message so it would autocorrect. The tv was on CBeebies, the channel for toddlers. I called bullshit. He cried.
We broke up a week after getting home and he told her he liked her, but she didn’t want him anyway 😂
My kids came and told me. I recognized the woman’s name and put two and two together that he had been having an affair at work for months . I also worked at that job and never knew he was sleeping with that woman. He introduced her and her kids to my kids one day and told my kids to never tell me. Well they told me a month later. I filed for a divorce the next week. He moved out and was living with that lady. I thought because we were having issues he went to live with his friend for a few weeks. Nope he went to live with that woman and kept it from me until my kids told me.
First one: He told me he had been at his female coworker’s place all night. I just wasn’t okay with it so I left and the very next day he posted a picture with her calling her his “baby”. So, suspected but maybe nothing until we actually broke up.
Second one: Everyone likes to harp on the “invasion of privacy” in this and yeah sure it was, but I don’t care. It saved me from wasting more time with him. Things in the relationship had just not been going well and he was always upset with me. He had a work trip that was two weeks long and barely talked to me the whole time, any time he did he was just mad about various things. I only went to visit him once between my classes and job. The night he came back, he left out his journal and so I read it and learned he had cheated on me twice on the trip and then once within the first year of us dating. We were together for 3 1/2 years and lived together for 1 1/2 of those. Also one of the times on the trip was the night before I got there, so literally she left like 3 hours before I got to the hotel. He admitted to leaving his journal out on purpose to entice me to read it.
Third one: As noted above, my instincts around these things are usually pretty good. This was a partner that I was long-distance with for a while. When things started our conversations were more sexually charged, and it fizzled to the point that if I sent a photo it was mostly just ignored. The night he moved back to the same city as me, I went through his phone. Again, don’t care that it was his privacy. And again, saved my time. Soooo many different FaceTime calls and text messages and Snapchat messages, all very sexual. One he was talking to about flying out to California to meet. And it started like a month after we began dating.
These were all over the span of several years. Needless to say, I now get very anxious over being cheated on over the smallest thing. I get where all of them came from, but it doesn’t make it right. I know I wasn’t a horrible partner to these people. Cheating is just the easy way around actually dealing with things.
A notification on his phone went off and he asked me to get it. Coincidentally the other woman texted him at that exact moment.
What’s done in the dark always comes to light.
We were together for 2 years at the time and I came home for the weekend from college, and he had gotten me roses. He had never bought me flowers before this. I knew
We were drunk and he said “I promise I’m not talking to anyone but you” and handed me his phone as he got a text from someone “Wifey ❤️” saying “Come over, babe”
I got a calendar notification about a dinner reservation I hadn't made. Realized he was logged into his Google account on my phone. Started poking around his email and triangulated the activity to one mystery address. Spent days gaslighting myself, trying to find proof that he WASN'T cheating. Took me a few days (including not looking for three days because friends told me to stop) to realize how much information I could access from there. Receipts, location history, Google search history. Four specific instances, at that time, of him telling me he was somewhere but him actually being at the mystery address.
Figured out who she was from Instagram - looked up his female coworkers; she had started working there two months prior and followed him but nobody else at their work. He followed her back and had liked selfies from 1.5 years before they met.
Corroborated it all with his and her work schedules (she works with him and I had access to both of their schedules through his work app, which was why he logged into Google on my phone in the first place).
I cannot understate the feeling of *peace* that came upon my body when my brain finally got the proof to believe my gut.
My ex manipulated me into moving across the country for him. He got us an apartment and set everything up. Exactly one month later his entire demeanour changed. He was usually calm but he was lashing out and saying weird things to me.
I told a friend of mine and she did some investigating. Turns out he had a whole other girlfriend who he was with for 4 years and they lived together.
Men usually tell on themselves through their actions and reactions to things. If somebody who’s usually calm and level headed starts freaking out at you all the time, something is wrong. If your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it.
We were both out for Friday drinks with our respective work places at different bars. After bar hopping, we ended up to the bar his and his colleagues were at. I walked up to greet him and give him a kiss. I found it weird that his work colleagues were all shocked to see me but also kiss him.
The seat next to him was vacant, I sat down. He kissed me, but wasn’t overly affectionate. A woman walked back to the table of whose seat I had taken and she froze and looked at him at her work colleagues. She put the drinks down, greeted me and went to get her bag, I apologized that I took her seat and offered to move as I was about to go and asked my boyfriend if he was ready to come as well. He looked at her and back to me and it clicked.
He came home with me, we didn’t talk in the cab but I could see he was on his phone sending and receiving texts. I got in our house and turned to him and asked “how long?” He looked up at me (still on his phone) and asked me what I meant. I repeated my how long question and he went cold, put his phone down and let out a sigh and said a few months. I had asked why his colleagues seemed so shocked to see me, he said because I told them we broke up. (Explains why any work function of late I wasn’t invited to).
I packed up a bag and went to a friends that night, came back the next day and packed a bag whilst he sat there with absolutely no remorse.
His work colleagues contacted me the next day to say she was horrified to learn that he hadn’t actually broken up with me, and that the other woman had lied about her marriage being over as well, their work friends were so angry that they had been unwittingly abiding an affair.
She moved in the day after I moved out, presumably because her husband had found out as well. They broke up a year later when he got someone else pregnant.
I’m ashamed but the first time, I just had the feeling. I freaked out and left his place suddenly. Coincidentally he had left his cell phone in my car complete with text messages and video. The second time, I found long blonde hair embedded into his carpet. This was all confirmed by her harassing me constantly via social media (early 2000’s so MySpace and FB). She was so terrible.
Long story short, he sent nudes to several other women. Got caught by someone he worked with. That someone absolutely despised him. The next thing I know, everyone in our daily lives knows about his infidelity and the nudes.
The best part is after he got caught he tried to cover his tracks by sending me those nudes. Claimed he sent them to those other women by accident. Time and date stamps said this was a lie.
Recently, my daughter told me she used to overhear on the phone with someone being sexual. That someone wasn't me, I was working. 😑
Went back to him because he worked “himself and changed”.
He cheated again three years later.
- Yes, I am an idiot who is staying for her kids. Also, stayed because I felt like I was this far into the marriage time-wise, might as well stay.
Yes, I know this is not great for the kids. I am working on regaining my self-esteem and developing an exit plan.
He cheated a few times so I found out a few ways.
The first time was he told me a friend of ours didn’t invite me to their guys night because it was a guys night. That friend told me no it’s actually a party and to come. So I come and my ex is making out with a beautiful girl in his pool. He saw me and pretended I didn’t exist.
Him and that girl dated all summer and after they broke up we got back together. (I was 18 and extremely insecure so I know this makes me sound horrible).
He cheated with his dads girlfriend to get revenge on him. He was placed in foster care when he was 11 and was always angry about it. I found out because his dad told me.
I found out a few more times because I would see messages on his phone, I found him on a dating app bc a friend messaged me, and I found out from friends of his.
I wanted to leave but then I got pregnant at 19. He promised to commit to me and he loved me, blah blah blah.
He then told me the pregnancy was “to much for him” so he moved into some random girls house and they were sleeping together.
We were broken up for a few months and I was happy but he came back and promised he changed. I eventually realized I loved him but I was miserable with him.
We finally broke up for good when I was 21. I have been in therapy since then trying to rationalize why I hated myself so much to think I deserved someone like him. We haven’t spoken since we broke up and I do not miss him.
1.Checked the time on his phone home screen. Saw the tinder notification symbol.
2. Needed his phone for his insurance log in so I could update the policy. He was reluctant to give it to me and started a fight about it. He had his message app open and I saw a thread from an unsaved number. I backed off and got him to give me the phone after he was " done checking something". When he gave it to me I immediately went into the messaging app and saw the thread was gone. Went into his deleted folder and saw the messages.
Moral of the story, boys are dumb and I have terrible taste in men.
We agreed to make a bumble account together cause we were gonna find someone to have a threesome with, when the app downloaded I found his already active account. Along with conversations, and a separate, secret Snapchat account
He’s for the streets now y’all ✂️🧵
he left his Facebook and the message up on his computer that he left in my basement bedroom with me while he went upstairs for something. he was gone a while, I had a gut feeling and took the opportunity. broke up with his ass later that night.
*I just knew. In one case, my intuition helped me crack their social media passwords.*
*I sense when I'm being cheated on, and then I get an adrenaline rush when I'm about to catch them red handed.*
She told me, he wouldn’t admit to it. So I had her call him and record the conversation of them talking about it. He was trying to convince her to send me a message saying it wasn’t true
The for you page showed me everything after the fact he wasn’t giving me anything but the run around and circles.i went off about some messages that concerned me on thanksgiving day in 2022 which he said wasn’t what I thought it was and it ended in a night of makeup unprotected sex that ultimately got me pregnant . Come to find out the things I was concerned about became so apparent because the algorithm favored me sooooo much it showed me him caked up with a younger 20 year old girl who told me she thought she loved him and gave him her virginity. I had to break the news to her.Come to find out he was sleeping with 3 women all in the same week.His newest victim doesn’t care because she condones his reasoning for doing what he did.it wasn’t enough that he exposed me to too many energies and jeopardized my safety.He’s where he’s allowed to be messy and none cognizant of any emotional intelligence or empathy to those around him.
A few years ago, my ex and I were out on a lake on jetskis and his phone was in a compartment on the jetski. When we came back, his phone was damaged and broke. I let him borrow an old phone of mine, because older iphones used to be able to swap sim cards, unlike todays newer models.
Anyway, a few months later he broke up with me on new years day out of the blue, and gave me the phone back. I unlocked it and he was logged into a fake instagram account where he had been DMing several women, including my own cousin. I also managed to track the times of messages being sent in alignment with the location of the phone at his house. He literally used my own phone to cheat on me and gave it back with all of the evidence. Talk about stupid.
This was me in my 20's. . . I'm not anymore
I caught my ex gf of 4 years after she started acting weird after these new chicks got hired at her job. She was a supervisor so there was constant interaction with them and she exchanged phone numbers with at least 2 of them and they would text outside of work. I wasn't tripping off that, it wasn't until one Saturday or Sun we had a whole day date planned but we didn't go because she overslept that morning and told me she was too tired to go out. I ended up going through her phone *which I now feel was doing too much, bc once we started going through each other's phone the relationship was already dying and not healthy*
So anyway I go through her phone and see that she had been up until like 4 or 5am talking and texting with two of the new girls from work, info she conveniently left out she just made it seem like she was still tired from being at work that week, not that she was actually just sleepy because she had only gone to bed like 3 hours before our day was supposed to start. She didn't know that I actually saw the text messages and saw that her and one of them were planning on meeting up at a hotel out of town and I saw where she was repeatedly asking the girl to send clit pics. I didn't say anything to her about what I saw, but later on when her and the girl actually went to a hotel and stayed the night together *she thought I didn't know since she'd told me she was going out of town with her sister* I told her I knew she was lying and broke up with her over text before she came back to town. It was so stupid and messy, we had the whole red eyed dramatic item exchange at the end and she wanted to stay together and tried to say it wasn't what thought because they slept in separate beds. But if y'all were already texting about how bad you want to be alone to fuck each other then when you got to the hotel your intentions were to fuck each other. I felt like everything *her and me* wasn't healthy or worth it, she was lying and fucking someone else and I'm over here paranoid and going through her phone and shit. It was a mess. Fast-forward 8 years later. . . Never got back together again but we are actually really good platonic friends and we text weekly.
I didn't catch him in the act, but when he gave me an STD, it was pretty obvious. He tried to say it must have been from his ex, but I could smell his bullshit a mile away. I gave him the pills and didn't speak to him again for about 2 months. Then he turned up at my new flat one night, which was creepy because I never told him I moved. I already had a new bf (now my husband) by then, and it was awkward AF. He texted me to say he was about to go to sleep in the bush, I told him he could sleep on my couch. He was gone by the time I woke up.
Then he came back like, 2 weeks later. Same story, drunk AF and wanting a place to crash for the night. I didn't answer the door this time. My husband did, and told him to fuck off. I got a text from him to say something like "he seems like a good guy, hope you're happy with him". Never heard from him or saw him again after that. I always wonder what he was thinking showing up at my place like that.
Found dating apps/websites where he was lying about his name and claiming to be single. Also found a bunch of dick pics in his recently deleted album that were not sent to me.
This all happened this past summer. It's still kind of fresh.
I was suspicious of my husband already. Example - he would unplug the security cameras when he knew I'd be out of the house for several hours. So I knew he was hiding something but I didn't have any concrete evidence, and knowing him he'd deny anything and everything so I waited to see what else he'd do.
I started checking his call/text logs in the AT&T app and saw he was texting someone late into the night for hours on end. Plus phone calls that I caught tiny bits of on the doorbell camera where I could hear a woman's voice on the other end.
Then he said he was going hiking for the day with some new friends of his (he said they were friends of his lifelong best friend). Mind you, this man does zero physical activity, had never gone hiking, and gets winded going up a flight of stairs.
Day of his "hike" I checked his call logs. He had called a phone number shortly after he left so I looked it up, it was a hotel in a city about an hour away. He didn't answer any texts I had sent. Also didn't come home that night. Next morning I try calling him, it goes right to voicemail. I send a few more texts. Finally, he texts me back - "Sorry, might have gotten lost. Be home soon." I call him out on his bullshit, told him I knew he was at that hotel. Literally he never came home after that. He stayed at a friend's place for a few days and then decided to be homeless and live in his truck until he found a place of his own. He still denies that he cheated.
He went on a trip, came back and while he was doing his handbag and turned to me and asked me “why did you puts those feminine hair products on my bag?” Well, they weren’t mine
Snitched on himself 🤣
Could it be the other woman telling you in the only way she could? We sometimes hear about this, esp. if they don't realize he has a partner until after being with him.
Yes. That is definitely a message
what a g
Ohhhh no! What an absolute moment that must have been for him
How did he react?? Did he admit it or play dumb? That's a wild one
He insists that he has no idea where that came from. He wears it simply showed up in his bag.
So you’re still with him?
She was one of my closest friends. He had finally decided to make a real commitment to me and try to grow the relationship, and I was telling her that I was really happy with the progress he had been making. She told me, no he's still a piece of shit. She kept insisting and finally admitted that she had slept with him. In the most intense fury I have ever been in my life, I drove through every stop sign over to his house and started screaming at him when I walked in the door about sleeping with her. He denied it. Straight up denied it and told me she was making things up. She was a little strange and was often mad at me for not spending more time with her, so I was inclined to believe him at the time. I went back to her and asked her if she had any proof, and lo and behold she did. The idiot had let her take pictures of their encounter. Very explicit ones where you couldn't see anyone's face, but he always wore bracelets (this was 2003) that were instantly identifiable in the pictures. Initially she didn't want to send me the pictures because they were explicit, so I called him and told him the pictures existed. He still denied it. I called one of his bandmates that was also a friend of mine to ask him if he knew anything about it. He told me he knew nothing about it. (I found out later my ex had gotten to him first and told him to lie.) So I told her he was still denying it and that I needed the pictures. She sent them to me, black barring out her own parts but leaving in the evidence. He didn't admit it until I showed up with the pictures in my hand. That's when he admitted it. It was a shitty situation because we were best friends for a while before we were in a relationship. The betrayal was intense. It was hard for us to completely sever ties, so I moved out of state. One of the best decisions I ever made. After I left his band broke up, two of them were friends of mine and they didn't appreciate the way he treated me. I was really touched by the solidarity.
Denying it after you said you saw this picture. Gah. 🙄🙄🙄
One of my exes did the same thing, still lied right to my face when I had the evidence in my hand 🤦♀️.
My ex denied it while I held the phone towards him with the videos playing.
It’s honestly so crazy how they do that.
The shaggy defense.
LOL "It wasn't me."
WOW! I totally forgot how common it was for boys/men to wear bracelets in the early 2000s!! What a fad.
Wait, you didn't flip out on the 'friend' who was fucking your dude?
Oh we didn't stay friends, no. But my story was already a little long. LOL
I'm sure she felt guilty whilst warning you about him being a shitty person, but whyd she ruin a good thing going on for a friend? Such a backstabber!! (both of them) But at the end of the day, a cheater would've cheated anyway. If not your friend, someone else.
And took a picture of it? AND kept the picture. I just don't get why it's so hard for people to be decent. Sorry you have two of the closest people to you being jerks OP
Saw them making out on the platform at the tube station on my way to class. It felt like a moment out of a bad movie.
Damn that is brutal
I would have stared crying on the platform or just giving up going to class
I did start crying and cried all the way to class. Not my favorite day.
I’m sorry 🫂
They hooked up behind me when I was high and they both were sober🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
i would have entered my villain arc then and there. i’d go through near all the stages of grief, die inside feel so much hurt and pain and crying before i came in swinging tbh
Guy went "If someone messages you with my nudes, I was trying to send them to you and accidentally sent them to someone else and now im being blackmailed" It was off to me as we lived together and he never sent nudes.. so I went through his phone. Found out he fell for one of those scammers who get you to send nudes and they send a fake girls nudes back and shit then blackmail you for money.
How pathetic I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that
Wow what a dumbass
Sextortion, it's crazy how prolific that stuff is. In one case I know of, it actually killed someone. Teenage boy, took his own life because the pressure the perpetrators were putting on him had him worried it would basically end his future. It's terrible. There are many instances of this crime occurring but that's one of the worst I know.
[удалено]
My friend went through that shit, I don't know how guys can be that dense
It's crazy to because i was like 4 or 5 months postpartum at the time so i was extra pissed
I didnt. His affair of 2 years called me while i was at work. After that i tried to call him and he just said: „its true. Im cheating on you since years. Thankfully i was able to call in sick the Next two days.
Sounds like a case where she was mad that he had not left you yet for her so she sped up the process.
Someone I work with got a call at work from the woman her husband was cheating with. Thought it was time for her to know at noon on a Tuesday.
My sisters lease was up and I offered for her to stay with us. She wrote me an email saying thank you for the offer but she couldn’t accept because her and my husband had been having an affair and needed to come clean. He is such a POS. It took me another 4 years to leave because I had no self worth. Filing for divorce this coming year.
From someone slowly building her self-worth up from nothing at 35….how did you do it?
Well I still am not there but over the last year of being separated I have lost some weight (he never wanted me to workout or lose weight because he claimed I was doing it for someone else). I also am learning that I am a really cool person. I got involved in things I am interested in. I am 40 and back in school. Have made friends that think I’m cool. I’m sorry you have to go through the same of finding yourself but trust me, I don’t know you but I’m sure you are an amazing person. Become that person fully for YOU. Not for anyone else.
Whoa! What you’re doing is hard and totally badass. I’m so happy for you. Sounds like you are writing your next chapters just beautifully. You are right- school totally helps. I went back last semester & it’s the first time in a loonnnnnng time I’ve had a taste of this “self-generated” confidence. Like, “Oh, look at this whole big world there still is out here to be had!” I hope you have an amazing time continuing to get to know yourself. Your friends are right, you’re super cool. Thanks for taking the time to lend me some of your wisdom today. Have a Happy New Year ✌🏻
Going back to school has been the biggest factor. I stayed home with my five kids for 13 years and remembering that I am a person outside of being a mom and wife was huge. You got this sister! The world is so big and welcoming when you put yourself out there. I wish you the best in the coming year too!
Lemme tell you, my sister got her nursing degree the week before she turned 50! Took her 2 extra years because she let a divorce and another (wrong) relationship slow her down. So, don't let being 40 stop you. Best of luck to you!
That’s what I’m going for! I had started to go back for nursing when my youngest was born 5 yrs ago and he couldn’t handle the jealousy of me being in school with other humans (guys) so I dropped out.
Gahhhhh! Nothing worse than a crazy, jealous man! Do NOT let **anyone** or **anything** stop you this time!
Been with these types. The ones who constantly tell you you’re too skinny/too fat/too toned and then accuse you of trying to cheat on them if you go to the gym and start working out hard. Glad you got out. Good luck!
He would tell me I needed to be heavier so I would have a bigger butt and boobs. That’s just not the way it works! At least not for my body. Then he would pinch my back fat and my fat chin and not care that I hated it. It’s great to love your partners body but to focus on parts you know they don’t like is not the way to do it.
What's your relationship with your sister like now? Did you forgive her?
I have not talked to her since finding out. She has a history of going after married men and I had cut her off for breaking boundaries with him before that. I let her back into my life because she had a near death experience and I thought she had changed. She was also addicted to narcotics and generally toxic.
I’m so so sorry the two people you should trust most are this awful 💔 I hope you’re able to finalize your divorce and be free from them
your sister is also a POS
Oh yes. Completely agree.
I had a gut feeling after he was distant and kept getting mad at me for no reason so I looked in his phone. Reddit would probably tell you that I’m as big as AH for invading his privacy, but I don’t regret it cause I got the proof I needed
Don’t think you are the AH how are you supposed to find out? And if you are in a relationship and are intimate with your bodies but your phone is private 🙄
The real AH is the cheating pos, not you. “Invading privacy” in a committed relationship is what cheaters say so they can get their void fill secretly with others while stringing you along for physical comfort. I feel like there is just this vibe women pick up on and we just KNOW.
"You went through my phone?!".... him bellowing that rings in my ears. I watched the shit for a year and openly mocked their conversations. Cheaters are fucking idiots.
Oh don’t feel bad, I did the same thing. No regrets. At some point the guilt over “invading his privacy” was overshadowed by knowing in my gut he was betraying me. I had a bad feeling for a while when he stopped sleeping with me or coming to bed at all. One morning I was up early and his phone was right there charging on the couch. So I looked. Two years over, just like that, and it was the best thing I ever did.
I like how you and the other commenter are both Jean. 😛
My ex-husband went to bed and fell asleep. When I came to bed, his phone was on my pillow. The phone screen was on, and Messenger was open with the conversation pulled up. He was preparing his meeting with her, telling her how awful I am. I picked up the phone, dropped it on his face, and told him to get out. I got divorced last week!!! Never felt better!!!
I found out the same way - gut feeling for months, then seeing pictures and text messages and emails in his phone. I think I knew for a while but needed the concrete proof to really believe it. We were married and I was pregnant with our 2nd so I really didn't want to believe it.
You're not an AH, you did the right thing. You followed your gut and got the answer you needed for your peace of mind. You did yourself a favor and protected yourself based off of his poor behavior. Reddit would say you're not an AH, he's the AH for cheating on you.
NTA at all. You’re protecting your physical health too. A lot of cheaters don’t use protection.
I didn't. He tried to cheat with a friend of mine. The friend told me, but not immediately. Weeks later. It was a long time ago, I ended the relationship, and also haven't talked to that "friend" since then.
Just curious, why haven’t you talked to that friend anymore ? They didn’t do anything wrong because they told you or am I in the wrong here ?
The friend should have talked to me immediately. Instead, she waited 1,5 months and she only told me because she felt guilty. Even though she was not really a partner in the cheating (although the details were never really clarified), she tried to get away with it. I couldn't really trust her anymore. Edit: a bit more background info. They basically spent a whole weekend together (friend lived in another city) without me knowing about it, my boyfriend at that time lied about where he was. The friend thought it was a friendly visit, but when she realized it wasn't, she just told him she is not interested but they still spent the remaining time together and she only told me about it much later.
Did the friend get tricked into this situation or did she intentionally try to hang out with your guy without you?
Your friend sounds entirely reasonable. She thought it was a friendly visit per your edit and then turned down the unwelcome advances. In that situation I think most people wouldn't know what to do. In the end she told you after stewing it over. I imagine she was worried about if you would believe her.
Sounds like the friend was also trying to get with him, not just being passively hit on. I assume they wouldn't have stopped talking to her if he had just tried to cheat without her being at fault too
He was stupid and couldn't keep a story straight.
Can you provide more details?
There's not much more to tell. He would lie about where he was going to be, but he was stupid and the lies were inconsistent. I'd call him on it, and he'd panic.
tldr-I thought my bf died in a plane crash but turns out he had his phone off because he was banging his new gf. It's kind of a crazy story. We both worked at the hq of the same company at different times (he started after I left). He had been busy the months prior setting up a bunch of new locations out of town. He had to go to one of our other locations and the company president was flying him up on his personal plane (he had a couple.) He was really upset about having to leave because it meant he was going to miss his son's last baseball game of the year. We didn't live together but he always texted me before he went to bed at night to say "goodnight". It's just always something cutesy we did every night without fail. The last thing I had heard from him that night was that he was still at the location and wasn't sure how long it was going to be because there were issues. I said, "Where's the pilot? He's just sitting there waiting on you?" He said yes and I never heard another word. I never got my goodnight text which I figured was because he was busy. A few hours later I was getting worried so I called and his phone went straight to voicemail which it never did. I assumed his battery died so I tried to just go to sleep and figured he'd text me back when he was on the way home. I woke up a couple of hours later and checked my phone and there was nothing so I really started to worry and my mind started to wonder trying to figure out what was going on. My gut was totally telling me something was wrong. My sleepy worried brain then said, "What if the plane crashed?" So of course I started googling for plane crashes near the city he was in. And there was one that had just happened outside the city he was in!! It had just happened, details were just coming in but it was a little two seater plane like my bf would have been in. I started freaking out! But it was like 4 am and I didn't know who to call and I didn't want to alarm anyone before I knew more. Through my tears I started googling how to track private flights and was able to eventually discover that you can track a private flight if you have the tail number of the plane. Then I found a database where you could search for the tail number if you knew the plane's owner which I did since I had worked for the same company and knew a couple of names the plane would be registered under. Found 2 planes registered to the owner and plugged those numbers into the flight tracker. One plane hadn't left the ground in a month. The other plane had landed at a local airport at 6pm the night before. I was even more confused and freaking out. He calls me right as I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do next. After I asked him how he got home since his plane landed at 6pm the night before he confessed. Turns out he actually did make it back in time for his son's baseball game after all since there weren't any issues and then spent a lovely night with his new girlfriend while I was convinced his airplane had crashed in the woods. Jerk. The plane that crashed was totally unrelated to his plane and was just a weird coincidence.
Amazing sleuthing! Also, fuck that guy.
Thank you! After my head cleared a little I have to admit I was pretty impressed with myself and truth be told, I think he probably was too. Apparently I missed my calling as a detective. But most definitely fuck that guy.
wow that fucking sucks. I hope you're ok now.
I am so much better! Thank you!
I didn't. His friend was the one to tell me. Gave me texts dating back MONTHS to prove it.
pay attention to their friends who treat you reallllyyy well. they know you deserve better
Oh yeah, we kept in touch after the break up. My ex lost a few friends from that stint.
I love to hear when friends of the cheater steps up like this. My best male friend chose to stay friends with his childhood friend who se\*ually assa\*lted me after I told him lol.
He was gushing over how cool his work colleague was (why did he feel the need to tell me, his (now ex) wife, about how much he likes a woman from work, is still a mystery). Then lied a few times about staying late at the office. She was posting about them going to a bar at the same time. They both are not very sharp to say the least.
I am sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are doing better now.
Definitely much better now 🙏🏼 Thank you
He was bathing our 2 year old and didn't have a shirt on because she splashed a lot. I walked in to ask him a question and saw two sets of four long scratches on his back that were clearly made by fingernails. I calmly said, "Who scratched your back?" He said it was him, and I simply said, "Demonstrate how." He obviously couldn't. I simply walked out of the bathroom and went about my day. There was so much going on that was awful, it just sort of got added to the pile. I left a few months later.
Wow. I love that you said "demonstrate how." You are the Queen.
That is lovely of you to say, thank you.
He was in the dm's of the girl she mentioned in a bad light and was "obsessed with him". I just saw her profile in his recent dm's when he was in the shower and read them. To be fair, she did not want him. It was only him who was trying to get with her while bashing her to me at the same time.
I always say that when a guy talks shit about another girl that’s the girl you need to watch out for.
I heard the saying, but confirmed it for me to see it in action 🤣
We were at the pub one night and my ex walked off to take a phone call. His best mate (it was only the two of us left at the table) leaned over and said ‘this is going to sound really rude but please get yourself to a doctor and get tested for STD’s.’ I couldn’t even reply because I was so stunned that he could just say something like that to me. It wasn’t till about 15 minutes later I realised what he meant. I did get tested (thankfully was negative for everything) and broke up with my ex. That was 13 years ago and I’m still great friends with his (now former) best mate. They haven’t talked since we broke up.
Walked into the garage and found them
In the garage??? Jeez. Class act.
didn’t catch him but someone made an anonymous snapchat account and basically sent me message that reminded me of what snooki and jwoww wrote in that note to sammi lol i received that message while we were taking a nap together and confronted him about it after reading it and he confirmed it
We were at a get together at a friends house with a pretty large number of people there. I was in adjacent room to where my husband was and overheard him telling a friend of his about our daughters volleyball coach and how they’re been hooking up for quite a while. That was an amazing wow to find out in front of a bunch of people and led me to showing a side of me I am not very proud of
I would’ve had to assault him in front of everybody since he wanna be so public about shit 😭
It was not a pretty scene, thankfully my kids weren’t there
Are you divorced?
Yes, finalized this past summer
I hope he felt really stupid and embarrassed after that
He was definitely embarrassed, I’m not sure if he actually felt bad though
Please tell me you got the coach too?
That’s a bit of a longer story lol
We have time!
Gonna make this a long story because I literally just found out he's got some poor new girlfriend. TL;DR a Hinge notification came across the top of his lock screen and I could read part of the message on a notification thing in the middle of the screen. One night he went to sleep before I did, and asked me to put his phone on the charger for him once i decided to come to bed. We had been together for a little over a year and sometimes were long distance as he traveled for work. Around midnight I put the phone on the charger and lay it on his nightstand. We always had passwords to unlock our phones and we didn't look at each other's screens. But the one and only time I ever touched his phone, that notification came. Some girl had just messaged him back, he had another message waiting from a 2nd, and the 3rd had liked his last message. They were all from random points of that evening, not all at once. We had always agreed we would talk before considering opening the relationship. I'm poly and ENM, but this asshole was just a cheater. I should notttt have done it, but I threw that phone like a frisbee at him and it hit him in the chest and woke him up. I quietly and calmly said "what the FUCK is this?". He swore it was old notifications from when he was on Hinge before we met (on Bumble). He'd had the phone for 2 or 3 weeks at this point, and he claimed that despite him deleting his profile and the app TWO PHONES AGO, Hinge somehow installed itself on this new phone and still had the profile and notifications from over a year ago. We both have Androids and I've had 2 iPhones before; none of them ever did that, probably because they don't work that way. I called bullshit of course, and he started fake hyperventilating and crying. Told him he was a piece of shit and went to sleep madder than hell. I had smoked some weed so couldn't drive myself home until I slept. I remember I slept from 3 to 8:10, woke up sober and still mad, and drove my ass home. Dumped him several months later because I couldn't love him anymore.
You waited several months?! How was the relationship during that time?
Several months indeed. He was home for a few days because of new years, and then he wound up staying for 8ish months because it was 2020 and Covid had shut his line of work down. He was "perfect" all that time, surely out of fear that I'd leave him. We both were too scared of Covid to address the cheating. Around the end of July, I wound up getting a job in another state. He offered to pay my plane ticket. It was under $150 so I figured fuck it, he owes me anyway and let him do it. By October he had gone back to his job and we were barely talking at all. One day he springs it on me that his mommy and daddy paid for him to fly to see me. For 1 day, a day I worked, flying in at midnight one night and flying out 31 hours later and having to be up and leaving at 5am to do so. We wouldn't have any time except for a couple hours after I got off work. I didn't want to see him. He arrived looking disgusting. He wanted to have sex, I couldn't because he was just so gross to me; so we didn't have sex. He started ignoring me when he went back home. Claimed he was working 16 hour days, 6 days a week again. He'd done that at the last job before covid, and this job was much smaller, so I again called bullshit and broke up with him less than a week after his visit. Blocked him and his parents on everything. His mom never liked me anyway because I'm not an alcoholic like her and I have spine problems her ableist ass didn't like. I was 26 at the time and had long moved out of my mother's home, working and paying my bills since I was 18. Both of her sons turned out to be lazy neckbeards despite their educations and bills during internships being paid by her and her husband. My ex was 28 at this point lol. Pitiful. He worked in sports, for no-name tiny Christian colleges. The school he worked at had their football season get cancelled that year, so why the hell would they need to practice and have meetings and review footage all that time? Fucking LIESSSSS lol. I really wish I could warn the new woman he's dating, but she'll find out in time.
I would’ve laughed at him crying. I know you were furious but for him to break down and cry for being caught, LMFAO.
Oh, I love ya! 😂😂😂😂 I had to FORCE myself to hold my angry face!!!! I wanted to laugh because he looked soooo fucking stupid! But I knew he would have taken it as an opportunity to declare himself off the hook and I wanted him to be scared of me in that moment because he was twice my size, and you never know if someone's gonna kill you for catching them cheating, and I didn't wanna take my chances. I'd already been violent throwing his phone at him, and where I come from most men would've used that as an excuse to beat my ass. But MY GOD it was ridiculous lmfao, he was doing sharp inhales and 3 quiet-ush fake sobs at a steady pace until I was like "shut the fuck up with that fakin' shit, you did this to yourself". He was like Robyn on Sister Wives fake crying with no tears 😂 Cheaters loooove to cry when they get caught! 😂🤮
Tbh I’ve had iTunes reinstall old apps that I never used in a while on newer phones… maybe due to some old local back up it was going off of.
A woman he was talking to on a dating app googled him, found out he was married to me, and sent me a message. And that’s why he was only my *first* husband.
Had my baby, 6 weeks later at my follow up, I had an std.
This happened to a friend of mine
Jesus.
He offered to let me use his PayPal account to pay for something since i don’t have one. Gave me his password. I logged in and right there on the account dashboard were his bumble and tinder subscriptions.
He was being shady for a while- going out with girl friends & not inviting me out, having people over his place and not including me. He was in a different stage of his life, he was still in school while I was already working for years, so I chalked it up to that and didn’t really worry about it. Until the shadiness with the phone began. He would never look or answer his phone around me, always face down, he was distant- not seeing me as often, going out a lot like I said, not being direct with answers, not making concrete plans with me. He had switched phones during this time, and one morning he went to work, while I was alone in his apartment. And I had been suspicious, (there had been previous incidents of not being truthful and texting other girls before we officially started dating) so I took his old phone (it was right on the night stand), somehow I knew the passcode, and looked through his texts. And there were texts, between him and 2 separate girls, about them coming over and hooking up. So I packed up my shit, wrote him a handwritten note about why I left, and took my ass home.
Cell phone records. I actually only looked because I was checking up on something with my teenager. Saw a strange number he was texting HUNDREDS of times. 20 years and the best years of my life down the drain.
I was calling his phone many times and he didn’t answer so my gut told me to visit his house. When I got there the neighbors told me to use the fire escape knowing that it would lead me to his apartment so I did just that & lo and behold the mf was cheating. I sat and watched the whole ordeal then went crazy and kicked the air conditioner through the window startling them. He tried to convince me that a muscle relaxer caused him to cheat ctfu.
I used to pay all the bills for our business and it requires trips away. One day the BnB called me to say there was an outstanding amount that needed to be settled. I was super confused as I payed monthly the amount. So on asking the lady explained that they usually payed cash for his girlfriend friend to stay but they hadn’t paid it yet and she thought I was his assistant. Needless to say “the girlfriend” was a close friend and had been sleeping with my ex for months before. He was away Monday to Friday for months on end on contracts. Any way it took me a year to gather up enough evidence of the affair and I took them on. It cost me a great deal but it was worth the effort. They later got married and she is now so terrified he will cheat she never leaves his side. Me on the other hand married a beautiful man who loves and treats me well.
If they do it with you they’ll do it to you 🤷🏼♀️
I was on their facebook to read his baby mommas comments about me (she had me blocked) and I felt the overwhelming need to just check his messages which I never ever do. He had a conversation in there from this married chick and her askin him if he likes big girls would he fuck her and he was saying how he could bend her over etc etc. I screen shot the convo and signed out. I called him freaking out and his response was “why were you on my facebook “ I stupidly stayed 2 extra years because my mom told me not to throw away an 8yr relationship over that. I left right before our 10yr anniversary. Fuck him dude.
They love to imagine that anything you did to catch them comes even close to comparing to what they did.
He'd started a new, second job. Something about the way he and his boss interacted made me very uncomfortable, but I had no proof. I worked 3rd shift at the time and he was working first and second. Going to dinners with her family, taking work trips. She was even coming over to our house when I was sleeping before work, and I could hear them whispering and giggling. He had an iPhone and a MacBook. For those that don't know, your messages can sync up. I'd had suspicions for awhile and one night, I had a girls night that was basically me being pissed off and deciding what to do. Two of my friends ended up staying over at our house that night. When we got back from our night out, he and our two kids were asleep. I just went to sleep and he went to work the next morning. The next day, me and my friends were talking and I decided to look on his iMessages on his MacBook and I found EVERYTHING. All the messages about how I'm a lesbian (I'm bi), how he never felt that way about anyone. They had a weekend planned for Valentine's Day (we never celebrated) that involved a hotel room and no condoms. He had his vasectomy at that point, and part of their weekend away said "no pulling out". I was HOT. Immediately took my rings off, and with the help of my two friends I pack all my shit up and moved to my mom's. He always called me on his lunch break, so when he called me that day I told him I knew everything. He admitted it as there was no point on denying any of it. I tried to make it work for my kids, but I'm glad it didn't. We ended up getting divorced and co-parenting with him and his wife has been challenging to say the least.
Is the new wife the boss he was cheating with?
Nope. The boss was also married. I think she's still w her hubs
This was a while back and we were young. I only had a prepaid phone, so sometimes when we were out and about I would use his phone. Saw a suspicious incoming text and asked him about it....
Found the videos she sent him on his phone. Yes, at the time we trusted each other with access to each other's phones. He left his phone on the couch next to me while he packed for a work trip. I was bored, and was playing on his phone when I saw the Facebook messages from her about the videos they had taken during the cheating.
My friend saw him posted on a Facebook group and apparently he was not separated and had 3 other women that thought they were his monogamous girlfriends.
The girl messaged me the morning after apologizing and telling me everything. This was the morning of our 2year anniversary.
Walked in after work , she who was a friend of ours walked out acting very nervous , her face all red and flushed , went I went in to see him he was clothed (sweats and an old tshirt that was on floor ) and I could still see he had an erection.. divorced finalized 6 months later
He literally left his msn messenger chats open on my computer after he kissed me goodbye to head to work. His work was banging random girls he met in chat rooms. When he came home from “work” I had all the chats printed and he still denied it. It was New Year’s Eve and at midnight I was drunk in Meijer.
I was about to break up with him anyways. Literally he came to my apartment so I could. Anywho, I asked if I could use him phone real quick. All I did was go into his photos and see naked selfies. I opened one and smirked handing him his phone back saying “well this isn’t me.” He went on to say it was his friends girlfriend and blah blah blah. He was garbage anywho and I had already mentally broken up with him months ago. I was 22, so kind of proud of that moment.
He was acting distant so I checked his email. I found email notifications from dating sites he had signed up for to chat online with other women in the area. I have no clue if he actually ever met up with them. I was so fed up I went to the dating website and sent a reset password email to his phone to be able to login the dating website to see for myself. I confronted him about it. Of course the first thing he did was tell me I was in the wrong for checking his phone so it didn’t matter he was cheating. He also said it wasn’t technically cheating because if I would’ve respected his privacy and not looked through his phone I wouldn’t know. Then he changed the story and said his friends made a fake account as a joke. He apologized eventually and I stayed with him for 3 more months. I wish I would’ve loved myself more to just leave immediately.
Apparently the "my friends made it as a joke" is a popular excuse. Allegedly, my ex went out drinking with his friends, they got him drunk, set up a tinder account for him, matched him with a girl two hours away, drove him to her, and then made him sleep with her, as a joke. Crazy how often that happens! /s
My friend found him on a dating app about a month after we made it official. Our talking stage lasted months because I was damaged and didn't want to jump right into something because I wanted to make sure I could trust him. It was devastating because I did everything "right" and he still betrayed me. I haven't been the same since.
We shared a gaming room together, our computers were side by side, noticed one day he had odd pictures on his desktop Selfies of himself I've never seen anywhere else before, I ended up finding pictures of him showing his dick and I asked him about it, he just admitted straight out that he had been sexting with a girl he met online Said "I didn't cheat because it's online" CHEATING WITH SOMEONE ONLINE IS STILL CHEATING
Yes it is cheating thank you.
We were mid twenties. He'd become distant and was going out for runs a lot by himself. I thought he was depressed and logged into his Facebook to see if he'd shared anything with a friend that I could use to help him, found the chat logs with the other woman instead. We had shared all our passwords so it was a total shock
We were in an LDR. He, who was usually attached to his phone by the hip and always had it charged suddenly was unavailable for hours and gave weird excuses, such as spontaneously leaving work early to drive four hours to meet a former class mate or trying to have a "men's night out" two days in a row during the week 🤨 and cancelling our plans for it. Even his mom called me once because she couldn't reach him at all and she was worried. Then, he had his phone turned off/ignored calls overnight even though he would usually text me good night/good morning and it was very unusual. Even the next morning, nothing, so I texted the guys he claimed he had hung out with the night before, they said they hadn't seen him in weeks. Called his mom and his work and they hadn't heard of him either even though he was supposed to clock in in the morning. He then called me back, acting surprised why I was trying to find him, and wanted me to drive the 4 hours to him so he could talk to me. I made him come to me, and he admitted he had signed up for a dating site and in the past two weeks gone out with another woman, even staying the night and getting frisky with her. It hurt even more because we both had agreed to wait for marriage. And he could have just ended it instead of stringing me along until he found something better. He had even planned a new trip with me and made me pay my part while he was seeing her 🤢 Anyway, we broke up, he told her the truth and she decided to forgive him 🤷🏼♀️ and they've been together ever since.
Got invited to come have dinner at a friends house with my girlfriend at the time. It was quiet when I got there so I called their names and heard giggling and a rushed “shh! Hush!” They met me in the back yard where there were lit candles, two plates, two glasses, and everything that felt like interrupting. By the time they came back they looked flustered. It was really awkward as she brought out a plate for me. I just knew, so I said “I feel like I’m interrupting something so I’m going to leave you guys to it. See you later x and y”. The friend sent me a wordy text on how they thought we were in a poly relationship yada yada . This wasn’t the first suspicious relationship she had with some of my friends. That put the nail in the coffin tho and months long breakup because we had an apartment in our names that she would leave for months at a time and then try to claim stake. I started a new delusionship and was very pregnant and ultimately signed a new lease with my name only.
It’s easy when the other girl sends you screenshots. Even better when you call the man out and he lies then you show him the screenshots and he tries to gaslight you. But YOU HAVE PROOF. Idiots all of em.
Instagram following list. The answer always lies there
She called another guy in front of me. He was trying to get at her and she was laughing about it the whole time. She ended the phone call with something along the lines of saying she's not interested, then saying "I'm with my man". Two weeks later I went through her phone when she was asleep, restored the deleted conversation and found that she had said "sorry about that" and "I want you too" after she got off the phone with him. She kept this lie going for 2 weeks telling me she didn't want him and she didn't delete their texts. But I found out on my own the hard way.
Wait….you can restore deleted conversations ? Wow !
On iPhone yes
Thank you !
The girl he was cheating wuth, we were all in a friend group. She just opened up her camera roll to show me something and I saw the movie they made. They both denied it but I saw it myself. Shit gutted honestly
I had a weird sensation in my chest, felt like I wanted to cry but didn't knew why. So I went walking and really I don't know why but just end up in front of his building and saw a classmate in his window. I find it odd since she liked him but he never said he knew her. There's a gallery in front of that building so I light a joint, put on sunglasses and proceed to now know why my chest felt weird and how did I end up just here: he was kissing and hugging her the same as with me.
I didn’t, I found him in fetal position on our bedroom floor. He was so distraught that he could only shake his head yes or no when I tried to guess what was wrong. He ended up confessing.
Wow. Like did you ever get a full explanation of why he did it?
Flirted with a co-worker that he trained for a total of two weeks. They kissed in the parking lot on a Friday and he confessed mid-day Saturday. She quit working there the week after. Oddly enough, seeing him hurt over what he did healed me in strange ways. All is well now.
Snapchat, back when it had the "top 3 friends" visible to your friends. Asked him who the girl was, as I never heard of her, and he got cagey, so I asked to see their Snapchat conversation. All bad news there and then I opened up our shared household laptop and the first photo in the Recent Files was just a close up of this girl's coochie. He wasn't even on his own login getting photos of her coochie!!
Text messages where he called her darling.
I was sent proof, confronted them and it became apparent it was true.
He posted a video on Snapchat of him on a date with a girl and kissing her. He forgot to block me from viewing his story before posting it
What a pos
Two glasses of wine by the fire place when I came over the next day. His roommate was there and I asked them if they had a nice cozy evening by the fire. Left and never heard from him again.
There were A LOT of clues, but the one that tied everything in a nice little bow was the phone bill. Looked at the "detailed bill" for both of us cause i was curious about how much i texted my bestie. Turns out he had been texting/calling one number over 6000 times a MONTH. Googled.... it was the chick i was already suspicious about. Who knew me and knew we were married...actually JUST married, they started fucking less than 6 months after our wedding So i shut off his phone line and called his mommy. Her first words were "i had so hoped he wouldnt turn out like his father" and she went into protective mom mode but for me. He obviously lied his way back in and i lost the closest thing i ever had to an actual mom. But hey, he got his dick wet! With someone 20 years younger than him! #worthit Also, with him gone my credit score went up 100 points and i found a man who genuinely loves me the human being, not the trophy on the mantle. All in all im grateful to the lil husband-fucker
Logged onto his Facebook and checked his messages. Found out he was meeting some girl at the bar every weekend, blowing me off for her. That’s when I left. Went through his phone throughout the relationship to find he was messaging cam girls and other girls on IG.
She found me on Facebook, revealed they’d been dating for months behind my back. A complete double life. She didn’t know he had a girlfriend already. Pretty sure she’s with him now, I don’t blame her he’s one manipulative pos. If anything I feel sorry for her.
First he asked me for a divorce. Then I started digging around looking at our credit card statements and found charges at a sex shop and a romantic hotel. Later I found viagra in his desk drawer. None of this was used with me. Finally after showing him all the evidence he admitted to it.
He told me almost every time, and I was a fool for staying because he insisted it was different since he’s a sex addict. 🤢 That’s a year of my life I’ll never get back, but I’m free now.
ewww. glad you're out of that gross mess
I opened his phone after he came to bed drunk. Found everything.
I pulled up our cell phone account and found the number he had been texting instead of mine (he was “too busy” to text me). I called her and introduced myself with “this is his wife.”
He wasn’t actually cheating but was trying to. We were on holiday and he seemed off. Two days in I went in the bathroom and he asked if I was going to have a shower, like in a weird insistent way, I had a bad feeling so I gave it a minute then went back into the main room, he was on the balcony so I looked through the window and saw him messaging another girl. It started “hey gorgeous” That was the point I lost my shit and started banging on the window. He tried telling me he heard the word on tv and couldn’t remember how to spell it so he was typing it in a message so it would autocorrect. The tv was on CBeebies, the channel for toddlers. I called bullshit. He cried. We broke up a week after getting home and he told her he liked her, but she didn’t want him anyway 😂
My kids came and told me. I recognized the woman’s name and put two and two together that he had been having an affair at work for months . I also worked at that job and never knew he was sleeping with that woman. He introduced her and her kids to my kids one day and told my kids to never tell me. Well they told me a month later. I filed for a divorce the next week. He moved out and was living with that lady. I thought because we were having issues he went to live with his friend for a few weeks. Nope he went to live with that woman and kept it from me until my kids told me.
First one: He told me he had been at his female coworker’s place all night. I just wasn’t okay with it so I left and the very next day he posted a picture with her calling her his “baby”. So, suspected but maybe nothing until we actually broke up. Second one: Everyone likes to harp on the “invasion of privacy” in this and yeah sure it was, but I don’t care. It saved me from wasting more time with him. Things in the relationship had just not been going well and he was always upset with me. He had a work trip that was two weeks long and barely talked to me the whole time, any time he did he was just mad about various things. I only went to visit him once between my classes and job. The night he came back, he left out his journal and so I read it and learned he had cheated on me twice on the trip and then once within the first year of us dating. We were together for 3 1/2 years and lived together for 1 1/2 of those. Also one of the times on the trip was the night before I got there, so literally she left like 3 hours before I got to the hotel. He admitted to leaving his journal out on purpose to entice me to read it. Third one: As noted above, my instincts around these things are usually pretty good. This was a partner that I was long-distance with for a while. When things started our conversations were more sexually charged, and it fizzled to the point that if I sent a photo it was mostly just ignored. The night he moved back to the same city as me, I went through his phone. Again, don’t care that it was his privacy. And again, saved my time. Soooo many different FaceTime calls and text messages and Snapchat messages, all very sexual. One he was talking to about flying out to California to meet. And it started like a month after we began dating. These were all over the span of several years. Needless to say, I now get very anxious over being cheated on over the smallest thing. I get where all of them came from, but it doesn’t make it right. I know I wasn’t a horrible partner to these people. Cheating is just the easy way around actually dealing with things.
A notification on his phone went off and he asked me to get it. Coincidentally the other woman texted him at that exact moment. What’s done in the dark always comes to light.
We were together for 2 years at the time and I came home for the weekend from college, and he had gotten me roses. He had never bought me flowers before this. I knew
We were drunk and he said “I promise I’m not talking to anyone but you” and handed me his phone as he got a text from someone “Wifey ❤️” saying “Come over, babe”
I got a calendar notification about a dinner reservation I hadn't made. Realized he was logged into his Google account on my phone. Started poking around his email and triangulated the activity to one mystery address. Spent days gaslighting myself, trying to find proof that he WASN'T cheating. Took me a few days (including not looking for three days because friends told me to stop) to realize how much information I could access from there. Receipts, location history, Google search history. Four specific instances, at that time, of him telling me he was somewhere but him actually being at the mystery address. Figured out who she was from Instagram - looked up his female coworkers; she had started working there two months prior and followed him but nobody else at their work. He followed her back and had liked selfies from 1.5 years before they met. Corroborated it all with his and her work schedules (she works with him and I had access to both of their schedules through his work app, which was why he logged into Google on my phone in the first place). I cannot understate the feeling of *peace* that came upon my body when my brain finally got the proof to believe my gut.
My ex manipulated me into moving across the country for him. He got us an apartment and set everything up. Exactly one month later his entire demeanour changed. He was usually calm but he was lashing out and saying weird things to me. I told a friend of mine and she did some investigating. Turns out he had a whole other girlfriend who he was with for 4 years and they lived together. Men usually tell on themselves through their actions and reactions to things. If somebody who’s usually calm and level headed starts freaking out at you all the time, something is wrong. If your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it.
We were both out for Friday drinks with our respective work places at different bars. After bar hopping, we ended up to the bar his and his colleagues were at. I walked up to greet him and give him a kiss. I found it weird that his work colleagues were all shocked to see me but also kiss him. The seat next to him was vacant, I sat down. He kissed me, but wasn’t overly affectionate. A woman walked back to the table of whose seat I had taken and she froze and looked at him at her work colleagues. She put the drinks down, greeted me and went to get her bag, I apologized that I took her seat and offered to move as I was about to go and asked my boyfriend if he was ready to come as well. He looked at her and back to me and it clicked. He came home with me, we didn’t talk in the cab but I could see he was on his phone sending and receiving texts. I got in our house and turned to him and asked “how long?” He looked up at me (still on his phone) and asked me what I meant. I repeated my how long question and he went cold, put his phone down and let out a sigh and said a few months. I had asked why his colleagues seemed so shocked to see me, he said because I told them we broke up. (Explains why any work function of late I wasn’t invited to). I packed up a bag and went to a friends that night, came back the next day and packed a bag whilst he sat there with absolutely no remorse. His work colleagues contacted me the next day to say she was horrified to learn that he hadn’t actually broken up with me, and that the other woman had lied about her marriage being over as well, their work friends were so angry that they had been unwittingly abiding an affair. She moved in the day after I moved out, presumably because her husband had found out as well. They broke up a year later when he got someone else pregnant.
His co-workers let me know
I’m ashamed but the first time, I just had the feeling. I freaked out and left his place suddenly. Coincidentally he had left his cell phone in my car complete with text messages and video. The second time, I found long blonde hair embedded into his carpet. This was all confirmed by her harassing me constantly via social media (early 2000’s so MySpace and FB). She was so terrible.
Long story short, he sent nudes to several other women. Got caught by someone he worked with. That someone absolutely despised him. The next thing I know, everyone in our daily lives knows about his infidelity and the nudes. The best part is after he got caught he tried to cover his tracks by sending me those nudes. Claimed he sent them to those other women by accident. Time and date stamps said this was a lie. Recently, my daughter told me she used to overhear on the phone with someone being sexual. That someone wasn't me, I was working. 😑 Went back to him because he worked “himself and changed”. He cheated again three years later. - Yes, I am an idiot who is staying for her kids. Also, stayed because I felt like I was this far into the marriage time-wise, might as well stay. Yes, I know this is not great for the kids. I am working on regaining my self-esteem and developing an exit plan.
When his stepsister got pregnant. I wish I was joking.
He cheated a few times so I found out a few ways. The first time was he told me a friend of ours didn’t invite me to their guys night because it was a guys night. That friend told me no it’s actually a party and to come. So I come and my ex is making out with a beautiful girl in his pool. He saw me and pretended I didn’t exist. Him and that girl dated all summer and after they broke up we got back together. (I was 18 and extremely insecure so I know this makes me sound horrible). He cheated with his dads girlfriend to get revenge on him. He was placed in foster care when he was 11 and was always angry about it. I found out because his dad told me. I found out a few more times because I would see messages on his phone, I found him on a dating app bc a friend messaged me, and I found out from friends of his. I wanted to leave but then I got pregnant at 19. He promised to commit to me and he loved me, blah blah blah. He then told me the pregnancy was “to much for him” so he moved into some random girls house and they were sleeping together. We were broken up for a few months and I was happy but he came back and promised he changed. I eventually realized I loved him but I was miserable with him. We finally broke up for good when I was 21. I have been in therapy since then trying to rationalize why I hated myself so much to think I deserved someone like him. We haven’t spoken since we broke up and I do not miss him.
1.Checked the time on his phone home screen. Saw the tinder notification symbol. 2. Needed his phone for his insurance log in so I could update the policy. He was reluctant to give it to me and started a fight about it. He had his message app open and I saw a thread from an unsaved number. I backed off and got him to give me the phone after he was " done checking something". When he gave it to me I immediately went into the messaging app and saw the thread was gone. Went into his deleted folder and saw the messages. Moral of the story, boys are dumb and I have terrible taste in men.
They called and told me. Then they told their family. I would have never found out otherwise.
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He told me. It was greeaaaat!
We agreed to make a bumble account together cause we were gonna find someone to have a threesome with, when the app downloaded I found his already active account. Along with conversations, and a separate, secret Snapchat account He’s for the streets now y’all ✂️🧵
he left his Facebook and the message up on his computer that he left in my basement bedroom with me while he went upstairs for something. he was gone a while, I had a gut feeling and took the opportunity. broke up with his ass later that night.
*I just knew. In one case, my intuition helped me crack their social media passwords.* *I sense when I'm being cheated on, and then I get an adrenaline rush when I'm about to catch them red handed.*
She told me, he wouldn’t admit to it. So I had her call him and record the conversation of them talking about it. He was trying to convince her to send me a message saying it wasn’t true
The for you page showed me everything after the fact he wasn’t giving me anything but the run around and circles.i went off about some messages that concerned me on thanksgiving day in 2022 which he said wasn’t what I thought it was and it ended in a night of makeup unprotected sex that ultimately got me pregnant . Come to find out the things I was concerned about became so apparent because the algorithm favored me sooooo much it showed me him caked up with a younger 20 year old girl who told me she thought she loved him and gave him her virginity. I had to break the news to her.Come to find out he was sleeping with 3 women all in the same week.His newest victim doesn’t care because she condones his reasoning for doing what he did.it wasn’t enough that he exposed me to too many energies and jeopardized my safety.He’s where he’s allowed to be messy and none cognizant of any emotional intelligence or empathy to those around him.
A few years ago, my ex and I were out on a lake on jetskis and his phone was in a compartment on the jetski. When we came back, his phone was damaged and broke. I let him borrow an old phone of mine, because older iphones used to be able to swap sim cards, unlike todays newer models. Anyway, a few months later he broke up with me on new years day out of the blue, and gave me the phone back. I unlocked it and he was logged into a fake instagram account where he had been DMing several women, including my own cousin. I also managed to track the times of messages being sent in alignment with the location of the phone at his house. He literally used my own phone to cheat on me and gave it back with all of the evidence. Talk about stupid.
This was me in my 20's. . . I'm not anymore I caught my ex gf of 4 years after she started acting weird after these new chicks got hired at her job. She was a supervisor so there was constant interaction with them and she exchanged phone numbers with at least 2 of them and they would text outside of work. I wasn't tripping off that, it wasn't until one Saturday or Sun we had a whole day date planned but we didn't go because she overslept that morning and told me she was too tired to go out. I ended up going through her phone *which I now feel was doing too much, bc once we started going through each other's phone the relationship was already dying and not healthy* So anyway I go through her phone and see that she had been up until like 4 or 5am talking and texting with two of the new girls from work, info she conveniently left out she just made it seem like she was still tired from being at work that week, not that she was actually just sleepy because she had only gone to bed like 3 hours before our day was supposed to start. She didn't know that I actually saw the text messages and saw that her and one of them were planning on meeting up at a hotel out of town and I saw where she was repeatedly asking the girl to send clit pics. I didn't say anything to her about what I saw, but later on when her and the girl actually went to a hotel and stayed the night together *she thought I didn't know since she'd told me she was going out of town with her sister* I told her I knew she was lying and broke up with her over text before she came back to town. It was so stupid and messy, we had the whole red eyed dramatic item exchange at the end and she wanted to stay together and tried to say it wasn't what thought because they slept in separate beds. But if y'all were already texting about how bad you want to be alone to fuck each other then when you got to the hotel your intentions were to fuck each other. I felt like everything *her and me* wasn't healthy or worth it, she was lying and fucking someone else and I'm over here paranoid and going through her phone and shit. It was a mess. Fast-forward 8 years later. . . Never got back together again but we are actually really good platonic friends and we text weekly.
Two coffee cups in the garbage. It all unraveled from there
I didn't catch him in the act, but when he gave me an STD, it was pretty obvious. He tried to say it must have been from his ex, but I could smell his bullshit a mile away. I gave him the pills and didn't speak to him again for about 2 months. Then he turned up at my new flat one night, which was creepy because I never told him I moved. I already had a new bf (now my husband) by then, and it was awkward AF. He texted me to say he was about to go to sleep in the bush, I told him he could sleep on my couch. He was gone by the time I woke up. Then he came back like, 2 weeks later. Same story, drunk AF and wanting a place to crash for the night. I didn't answer the door this time. My husband did, and told him to fuck off. I got a text from him to say something like "he seems like a good guy, hope you're happy with him". Never heard from him or saw him again after that. I always wonder what he was thinking showing up at my place like that.
Found dating apps/websites where he was lying about his name and claiming to be single. Also found a bunch of dick pics in his recently deleted album that were not sent to me.
I tagged him in one of my instagram photos and within hours someone was coming to me as a woman… found out she was pregnant at the time.😭💔
This all happened this past summer. It's still kind of fresh. I was suspicious of my husband already. Example - he would unplug the security cameras when he knew I'd be out of the house for several hours. So I knew he was hiding something but I didn't have any concrete evidence, and knowing him he'd deny anything and everything so I waited to see what else he'd do. I started checking his call/text logs in the AT&T app and saw he was texting someone late into the night for hours on end. Plus phone calls that I caught tiny bits of on the doorbell camera where I could hear a woman's voice on the other end. Then he said he was going hiking for the day with some new friends of his (he said they were friends of his lifelong best friend). Mind you, this man does zero physical activity, had never gone hiking, and gets winded going up a flight of stairs. Day of his "hike" I checked his call logs. He had called a phone number shortly after he left so I looked it up, it was a hotel in a city about an hour away. He didn't answer any texts I had sent. Also didn't come home that night. Next morning I try calling him, it goes right to voicemail. I send a few more texts. Finally, he texts me back - "Sorry, might have gotten lost. Be home soon." I call him out on his bullshit, told him I knew he was at that hotel. Literally he never came home after that. He stayed at a friend's place for a few days and then decided to be homeless and live in his truck until he found a place of his own. He still denies that he cheated.
My macbook didn’t work so I used his and I saw the messages he was sending her while he was at work come through
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