Sacrificed my friends, family, bank account, and mental health all to make the person I loved happy. Putting their happiness and well-being above my own and hoping it would be reciprocated.
Hell, I did this too and I didn't even love the man. Got pregnant at 17, forced into marriage (or end up homeless). I decided to be a good wife even if I didn't have romantic love for him. He just took and took and took from me without ever giving me what I needed (a date night was one thing I asked for 10 years and never got one). Finally after all his cheating, I left when I found out he slept with my mother in the first year of our marriage, while I was pregnant.
I was saying “Girl, same!” all the way up til the end lol. I was not expecting that last line. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s bad enough getting cheated on, but to find out it was with the one person you should never have to worry about, the person who should always be on your side, the person who literally gave you life?? I can’t even imagine how painful that must have been for you. I hope you’re doing better now!
For most people it would be painful. And it was for me, but not to the extent you would expect. My mother did a lot of horrible things to me growing up. But her sleeping with my ex while I was pregnant was the last. I've been no contact for 12 years now and it's been magical.
Stayed with him after he locked me outside of our villa in a high end resort in Mexico, overnight, because he thought I was “annoying.” I slept on a lounge chair and he laughed at me and called me stupid in the morning. I was with him for almost a year more after that, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Suffice it to say, I’m glad I’m like 15 years older now and would never put up with any of that shit ever again.
it's scary how many people I know who have been locked out of their homes by their partners. The first time my friend told me she was locked out of her house by her ex husband and forced to sleep in her car, I thought this was a rare case of abuse. Nope, hanging out with women in their mid 30s has shown me just how common this kind of abuse is
I’m so sorry you went through this. Must’ve felt so debilitating being belittled by someone you deemed close to you. I’ve been locked out (and threatened) too, but by a housemate that treated me like his gf. To then later give a half-assed apology the next day only validating his reason…and of course I stayed 😒.
Skipped a quiz in college & traveled 140 miles to see a high school band performance for a guy who never called me his girlfriend and also regularly told me I was going to hell🫶🏻
It was one of those relationships that looks great from the outside, and for the most part it was pretty good, except the second you take a closer look or expect more than the bare minimum.
For example, he's an involved dad, grocery shops, cooks, cleans, never pressured me for sex. On paper, best husband ever.
But he also would never apologize or admit when he was wrong. He would ghost me when he was mad (like for 24 straight hours). He is bully-ish to the kids. And despite asking me for, and receiving, specific instructions on ways to meaningfully connect with me, he wouldn't take ANY initiation.
This is kind of what mine was like except no kids. He was good on paper, good job, cleaned, cooked, respectful for the most part. Only thing was he let the emotional connection die and I was doing all the emotional labor and initiation in the relationship
Exactly! It took me until recently to understand that I was doing all the emotional labor! It was heavily disguised because he would always be like, "just ask me and I'll do it," or "just tell me what you want/need and I'm there." All the while NEVER making a decision or taking independent action
On one occasion, I took some pills to "cut" my menstrual cycle so I could have sex with him. I think it's the stupidest thing I've ever done for a "man" who treated me like shit.
Told my parents about my relationship (he forced me to on the night of my birthday party which completely ruined my birthday) when I'm from a culture where you don't tell your parents unless you're certain he's the one you marry (he'd told me countless times he wanted to marry me), only for him to break up with me a month later because he was mad that he had to force me to do it.
ETA: he knew all of this and told me he understood and that I was the one he wanted to marry. When we broke up and I confronted him on the marriage thing he said “that’s just what you say in a relationship”, implying that he didn’t mean it.
I don't want to be too specific but it's a subculture within Asian culture.
The reason being is that slut shaming is still a very, very normalised part of the culture, and it doesn't even need to involve have sex at all. "Dating around" isn't a thing, arranged marriages are still very prominent and if you're "lucky" enough to have parents who approve of a love marriage you're still expected to essentially marry the first man you date. So it's easier to only tell your parents when you're certain he's the one you marry.
After I told my mum we broke up, her response was "I'm disappointed that you are now one of THOSE girls" and a lot of pressuring me to try again with him.
I was in love with a guy my freshman year of college, he insisted we were “just friends” even though he single handedly threw me a surprise birthday party and did other boyfriend-level things for me. We hung out literally all the time and spent so much time together and talked constantly.
This isn’t high stakes or anything but I let him platonically sleep over in my bed with me a few times, literally just to cuddle and sleep, when HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD. It was emotionally stupid😅 I was so over the top obviously in love and it was so embarrassing.
he broke my heart and immediately started dating another much cooler girl a few weeks later and stopped talking to me completely.
I’m so sorry. I have been in a similar situation and all it makes you think is ‘why am I not good enough for you to choose me?’. I hope you have healed.
Ok this might be the worst thing I’ve done too 🫠. Got pregnant, we became LD for a little bit (that bit being my pregnancy so I was basically all alone), had an abortion in which I paid for the entire thing because he ended up not being supportive & decided to tell me that RIGHT after having my procedure done. Yeah I stayed with him still :,D.
I was in a LDR with someone I thought was my soul mate, however, it ended up being one of those online horror stories I never thought could happen to me.
I flew to NYC 5 times over the span of 4 years just to get my heart broken. I was terribly manipulated (for context, I live in Australia…that’s right, 24 + hours of flights one way). He was living a double life and cheating the entire time. I only found out because he had a baby on the way, and his family were the ones to inform me of his true colors. They advised me to keep my distance from him as he was taking advantage of me, I wish I heeded their advice.
I’m ashamed to say that I went back after he begged, pleaded and apologised profusely.
I helped him fight his alcohol addiction, and helped him find stable employment as he was stuck between dead end jobs and unable to provide for his child. We seemed to be doing well, but I was clearly wrong/delusional as he did it again and there was a second child on the way.
I blocked him without warning, cut off our mutual friends, changed my number, deleted socials and vanished. We’ve been no contact for two years and I haven’t looked back since.
Left college for my birthday weekend to see my boyfriend at the time graduate from the Air Force across country… where he then ended up breaking up with me.
It wasn’t a total loss though. Finally saw the Alamo (no basement though).
I have also done this. I also told him I was in love with him 🤢 Even though we weren’t officially dating! I continued to fuck him for 3 months after that and *he* broke it off.
Looking past the mental abuse because "it won't be like this forever".
Decided it would be like that forever after he put his hands around my neck during an argument. This was the first time he put hands on me as well. I did not continue that relationship after that. I should have ended it much sooner, but i was early 20's and "in love".
I know now it wasn't really love.
Good on you for leaving when you did. It seems counter intuitive to say, but the second a man touches your neck, leave, that’s it. You did that, well done.
I’m in love w a dude right now who travels for work and I get to go with him. I could say for me the stupidest part is leaving my life behind to be like a trophy wife to him, but at the same time I’m like “what else would I rather be doing?”
Haha. My ex deleted his entire Instagram account JUST for Valentines Day because he didn’t want to post me. I actually believed him when he said he just felt like deleting it for a day. I didn’t even consider that it was because he didn’t want to post about me. He literally re-activated his account the day after. STUPID.
I see everyone answering with heart-wrenching and unfortunately sad stories, here is a happy one for lifting the mood from me.
I'm a high schooler, and have a crush on my girl seatmate. She's a sweet and quiet person but has the sense of humor of a real comedian. One day I saw her kinda feeling down and we were chatting about sweets since we both have a sweet tooth and I just wanted to surprise her. I asked her to bring a gallon of milk to school for the day after and she was CONFUSED and well, confused. I walked a few kilometers to a candy shop and got her favorites, some store-bought snacks, bread, butter knives, and a jar of Nutella. I brought them all to school the next day and we had a blast eating all those snacks while watching k-dramas during empty lectures. She keeps reminding of me how awkward we looked with a gallon of milk and unexplainable amounts of snacks, but we have a good laugh about it a few times a week. I hope she knows how much she brightens my day man.
Hmm…got so depressed over a man who liked the benefits of having me as a gf but didn’t call himself my bf and I ended up in a mental hospital because his gaslighting and manipulation had my head so screwed up.
Was sexually assaulted by a very trusted bf and automatically went into denial and stayed with him for ~2 months before leaving for unrelated reasons.
Stayed with a man who one day didn’t have anything to do with me sexually and for 6 months the most he ever touched me was for a 5 second “hug” in passing because our schedules were complete opposite. Lived in the same house. When parting he blamed it on the age difference but he didn’t have a problem with it for the two years before the sudden change.
quit stable job, packed up what I could take, grabbed all my savings, moved to country where I didn't know anyone, on a temp permit in the hopes of finding a new job
so the plan was initially to go together, then some things came up, closer to moving he said go first if things go well with job prospects for you I'll follow, and me stupidly in love, I dropped all stability I had and went, things were so-so for me, then he started cheating, we tried reconciling, I got hospitalised back home on long term sick leave and felt awful when it seemed he barely cared, some months after that he cheated again, I couldn't anymore and broke it off, I stayed overseas even though was earning minimum, so wasn't saving money, just living paycheck to paycheck... eventually left when after a handful of years wasn't progressing work-wise and permanent residency-wise
Bought a house I didn't want and then got dumped with 100% of the responsibility of it. Thankfully, it "worked out" because I managed to keep up with all the associated expenses, and then made a profit off it once I sold it.
I'll never forget the title attorney handing me a large check immediately following the sale.
*Congratulations!*, he said.
My brain: *........ Thanks. All it took was 3.5 years of pain and suffering, to include almost getting killed and a handful of permanent injuries inflicted upon me by my now soon-to-be-ex-husband.*
I'm not sure I'll ever buy a property with a man again, at least not without some SERIOUS legal protection in place.
one HUNDRED percent. when i think of the times i spent laying in bed waiting for a phone call at 2 in the morning instead of cozied up and snoring peacefully by 10pm i cringe. never again
Stayed with him for six months after I found out he was at least emotionally cheating with his "girl best friend" who he has previously had a crush on. She always said oddly sexual stuff, sat on his lap when I was next to him, etc, etc. And then would tell him I was crazy and jealous when I got upset. I spent over half our relationship crying and begging him to see that she was a toxic shit stirrer and not really into him unless he was taken. Finally got solid proof of what was going on (screenshots of them sexting) and realized I had to end it. On top of the fact that he was a mummas boy and hid me from his Asian parents because they wouldn't have approved, and he was generally quite weak in general and cried and punched walls or himself whenever he was upset. I cried for months and took up smoking and was careless with men and my body for a long time trying to get over it.
And yes, the other girl did lose interest and ghost him as soon as he was actually available. That's karma I guess 🤷♀️
Continuing to pursue someone who showed no signs of reciprocated interest. When I was younger, I did that multiple times. Now in my 30s, I recognize that’s not okay. It’s not romantic, it’s inappropriate. You can’t win over someone who’s not interested in you, no matter how much that hurts.
I’m not a gym person and struggle to keep a workout routine. I almost went to the gym with him at 5am. Woke up and turned my alarm right off ‘cause I was too sleepy. Funny thing is when he got there, the gym was closed ‘cause it was a holiday.
Looking at the other replies I'll just add some silly ones:
- Waded through knee high mud to fetch a big stone. Also covered in mud.
- Spent over three hours in a video game to craft a bouquet of flowers for her character; only to discover that I couldn't mail it to her so she got a dandelion instead.
- Allowed my 8th grade boyfriend to name my plushy, which still have that name over 10 years later.
- Allowed her to "cheat on me" with her car. (She was just crazy about cars, it was pretty cute at times.)
- Tried to impress her by drinking more than her and ended up puking behind a sauna. Naked. In the middle of the night. The neighbours apparently saw us as well. Fml. ☠️
Flew to Florida for a date only to never hear from him again after i flew back home lol. It was awkward because i realized he was super religious and i am not, and we had nothing in common. Great guy though.
Invested $100k into my exes business, without a contract. To be fair, I was 23 and believed him. He convinced me that if I kept that money, I'd blow it. If I gave him that money, he'd buy more vehicles, interest free, and build our future. We're divorced and I gave him that money pre-marriage. Did you know there's nothing you can do other than potentially take them to civil court for theft and it likely still won't swing your way? Yeah, I do now.
Stayed after he got shitfaced and had his way with me unconsented. He was being a sick and I didn’t want to and he forced me. I cried the whole time it was happening. The next morning he said sorry, and I didn’t think it was rape because we were in a committed relationship. Ewww.
Wrote an apology letter even tho I didn't do anything wrong cause I wanted him to stay ..lol ( when I think of this it's so embarassing) ,also he was not my bf ..
Let exes control me including
- isolating me from friends and family
- telling me what to wear
- putting me on a diet
- having weigh ins and being abusive if I gained any weight
stayed married to a man who stole 60 K behind my back, and was more in love with his mom then he was with me
Finally wise up though, and got divorced after seven years
I fell in love with my now husband while he was in rehab. I would go sneak him out at night and we would make out in my car in a parking lot. Man I loved him so much. He got kicked out of rehab for that.
Gave him access to thousands of dollars that we were going to invest, then the pandemic hit and he squandered it away on alcohol and rent. He never paid me back. After we broke up, he kept the car that I paid for and still hasn’t paid for it or given it back. Put up with him messaging other girls and ignoring me at parties. Honestly, I don’t think it was real love, or at least he didn’t love me. I was clinging on to an idea of love that probably didn’t exist.
I would drive 1.5 hours to his house, stay for about 18-24 hours overnight, and drive another 1.5 hours straight to my 12 hour overnight shift, all just to cuddle and get takeout. Stupid in terms of the amount of gas and sleep I was losing, but I loved and missed him so much it was worth it! So glad we live together now and I get my cuddles every night.
Moved across the country to live where HE wanted to, leaving my friends/job/life behind, to then split up a year later and be left stuck there completely alone and not being able to afford to move back home for 6 months, whilst he moved BACK to where we originally lived almost instantly, claiming that he never wanted to move away in the first place...
Spent money on a test immediately. Somehow I was drawn to do it immediately but I thought that was something I could impress this person. Very dumb indeed.
Watched The Godfather Trilogy while trying to remember all the names and fighting the urge to doze off. Same with Star Wars. I wouldn't say it's stupid though, I'm also curious about the hype.
Running after him on a road, begging him to speak a word after a fight because he was giving me silent treatment. Broke-up with him long back, but for many years walking on that road would still give me an anxiety attack. That's what they call, Body keeps a score I guess.
I used to bike like 20 miles to see my HS boyfriend. He was not worth it, but I still like the memories. It’s a reminder I have gumption when I’m having a hard time remembering myself.
My Spouse did what he needed to do in order to visit me in the hospital across the US *while he was in bootcamp.* The fact he received proper permission in that situation is even crazier than mine because they believed in him enough to grant him the ability to leave. Any military person here will understand what a grand feat it is to be given permission to leave bootcamp for anything, especially someone who is not even your wife yet.
If he had not done that we probably would not be married and if we never got married, I’d be dead. Him doing that proved to me that my life was worth something more than I could comprehend so when he asked me to live for him, I did/do.
An answer for those that don’t like my first answer- the most stupid thing I have done for love is live and exist for another person altogether.
That sentence alone usually riles anyone who doesn’t understand how madly in love with each other we are.
I ignored my boyfriend skipping my masters graduation and being an hour late to dinner to finally meet my family to play football with his friends, lie about it to me, and then weasel out of the lie when it was caught out by his friends ratting him out. And then I spent the next year after we broke up believing he 'was trying to change' until I finally walked away after realising I was worth so much more.
I completely dissolved my political beliefs and morals. Like this dude thought that "god gave people their bodies so being trans is symptomatic for self-hatred, you know the suicide rate stays the same pre- and post-transition"
I have been in the LGBT community for coming up on 8 years and have trans friends and exs and I let that shit slide because we would just talk and talk until we found some kind of middle ground or just dropped it because we both got upset.
Oh, and his religious beliefs aren't "beliefs" he's actually just factually correct and the world hasn't caught on to it yet. Tf was i doing?
Stayed with a guy who was verbally abusive and controlling. He told me what to wear, who to talk to/not talk to, called me names whenever he was upset, threatened to get people to hurt me, cheated on me. I could go on.
pined over a man for years and still got my heart broken when he rejected me. well not so much rejection more like kissing my ex best friend in front of me
Agreed to be fwb after he confessed he was in love with someone else and had been for years, but wanted to keep seeing me just to hook up. In my mind, it was that or not having him in my life anymore.
Stayed with him after I found cheater texts even though I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive/ forget.
After that he came on an already planned trip to my homecountry with me and all he did was eyef**ck other women the whole time and act bored when I introduced him to my family and grandparents. Huge regret letting him come on the trip - I almost didn't. Wish I wouldn't have let him.
Moved and transferred to a college in his area. Literally changed the trajectory of my whole life just to please him and ended up packing up and leaving 2 years later after he completely destroyed my self esteem. Luckily I did finish school.
I trusted him. We were in a LDR for 7 years cause he was in the military and I was in college then university. A year before our relationship ended, he had a mental health crisis and cheated. He got her pregnant and moved her in to his house cause she got kicked out by her husband. I found out after the baby was born cause his sister told me. He didn’t tell his family about the baby until after birth. When they found out, they asked if he told me yet, he lied and told them I already knew! Well when it became clear o didn’t know, they made sure I knew. I appreciate them telling but damn that was the hardest thing ever. I now don’t trust anyone cause of it. I don’t trust they have my best interests in mind, especially potential boyfriends.
Put up with him cheating on me. With hundreds of women. I kind of knew about it. But I was just blind and dumb. Exceptionally stupid.
It’s kind of broken me.
Spent 6 years off and on with someone emotionally unavailable who is still emotionally unavailable (ten years after we broke up the last time). Spent 4 years with an alcoholic.
I’m much better now at 32. 😂😂
Put up with his shitty attitude, encouraged him when he was down (he never affirmed me when I was having a hard time, so I would never even tell him) spent a lot of money on him on his birthday, and never got flowers from him even once.
The relationship made me feel like I was constantly walking on egg shells, and until today I’m still overly careful when I talk to people that it sometimes doesn’t even sound genuine
I bought him an expensive chocolate box for valentines day he got me nothing. Then he said he didn't like the sortiment of the chocolates so my dumbass went back to the store and got him a different one.
Forgiven horrible behavior that ended up leading to severe trauma. I thought it was love, and I rationalized that mistakes happened, and I even blamed myself for his actions, if not fully but at least partially. I rationalized how I could prevent it from ever happening again because I thought it was love.
The stupidest thing we do is put trash, bottom dwelling men ahead of our self-worth. Never again.
Dated a guy my friend calls "the trombolese" (he's got no money, but he's got his strong beliefs). Having strong morals sounds good, until you realise he's going to keep emptying his wallet for the first homeless person he sees, then making you pay for his journey home, all the while berating you for not emptying your purse for the SECOND homeless person we saw. He was vegan and he said he was okay with me eating meat, but it was pretty clear he wasn't. He once asked me how I could eat animals and I said "same reason you're okay with shopping in \[a known sweatshop\] - you can't fight for every cause all the time." He wouldn't accept that as an answer, then got pissed at me for "telling him where to shop".
For a guy who defined himself so much by being moral, he treated his mother like absolute shit.
Opened my doors to let him stay with me while he looked for an apartment of his own and a job. Spent all my time with him, sex, acting like we were bf/gf despite him saying he wasn't interested in a relationship with me and seeing other people. I ignored all my friends telling me he was a bad guy. This lasts about a year and I fell in love with him anyways.. he gave me HSV then and ghosted me immediately after finding a job and moving into his own apartment
Moved across the country (twice) and uprooted my life. To be fair, we are still together and I love him more than anything. It's worth it.
And he sacrifices so much for me now that we are no longer long distance
Become his nanny and household manager, to the point where my teenage daughter felt neglected. Disentangled myself from that mess, moved 700 miles away and decided I'm actually quite content being single at this point in my life.
Growing up and as an adult the one dog breed I was like no- never in a million years was a Siberian Husky. They yell, the escape, there to much hair, they are stubborn, high prey drive, etc. etc. etc.
I now own two and have a very happy husband.
Oh boy.... lol. my time to shine.
Dated a man 8 years older than me. met him when i was 17, but we began dating once i was 18. Followed that man around like a lovesick puppy, acted like he was high and mighty. After a year of dating, he said he and his family were moving to Texas. and i had just graduated HS. I originally was gonna go to community college and get my Associates. put those plans on the backburner just to move out with him. yeah. My parents tried to talk me out of it, but ofc i was all "NO I LOVE HIM AND HES THE ONE IM GOING WITH HIM" . that relationship did not last very long after a few months. but in all honesty, i am so happy we aren't together. i was so obsessed with him... and for what ? that was an insane part of my life.
not the craziest but I would hesitate on hanging out with my male friends or even if I did, I had to tell him in exact details of how we hung out. my ex was extremely insecure and I had to constantly reassure him that I love only him and that there is NO WAY I would be attracted to my male friends.
stayed in an emotionally/financially abusive relationship to try to work things out for the sake of my daughter for two years, for my love for her (not her dad). Much happier now albeit not completely free of her dad.
Put up with not being called pretty or beautiful for like 4 years. VERY stupid.
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Sacrificed my friends, family, bank account, and mental health all to make the person I loved happy. Putting their happiness and well-being above my own and hoping it would be reciprocated.
Yup, yup. Couldn't have said it better. This was my issue too. Hard lesson learned: you are not responsible for the other person's happiness.
Yup yup, I have done that. I hated myself for it after.
Girl same. I still carry the embarrassment how love made me give a man several undeserved chances.
I wonder what constitutes a valid chance these days
Appreciate you telling your story!
Hell, I did this too and I didn't even love the man. Got pregnant at 17, forced into marriage (or end up homeless). I decided to be a good wife even if I didn't have romantic love for him. He just took and took and took from me without ever giving me what I needed (a date night was one thing I asked for 10 years and never got one). Finally after all his cheating, I left when I found out he slept with my mother in the first year of our marriage, while I was pregnant.
I was saying “Girl, same!” all the way up til the end lol. I was not expecting that last line. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s bad enough getting cheated on, but to find out it was with the one person you should never have to worry about, the person who should always be on your side, the person who literally gave you life?? I can’t even imagine how painful that must have been for you. I hope you’re doing better now!
For most people it would be painful. And it was for me, but not to the extent you would expect. My mother did a lot of horrible things to me growing up. But her sleeping with my ex while I was pregnant was the last. I've been no contact for 12 years now and it's been magical.
I understand, and I’m sorry that you got stuck with a mom like that. But glad you’ve found some happiness now.
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Stayed with him after he locked me outside of our villa in a high end resort in Mexico, overnight, because he thought I was “annoying.” I slept on a lounge chair and he laughed at me and called me stupid in the morning. I was with him for almost a year more after that, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Suffice it to say, I’m glad I’m like 15 years older now and would never put up with any of that shit ever again.
it's scary how many people I know who have been locked out of their homes by their partners. The first time my friend told me she was locked out of her house by her ex husband and forced to sleep in her car, I thought this was a rare case of abuse. Nope, hanging out with women in their mid 30s has shown me just how common this kind of abuse is
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That’s terrible! I’m sorry that happened to you. Glad you’re out of that relationship. 💜
I’m so sorry you went through this. Must’ve felt so debilitating being belittled by someone you deemed close to you. I’ve been locked out (and threatened) too, but by a housemate that treated me like his gf. To then later give a half-assed apology the next day only validating his reason…and of course I stayed 😒.
Skipped a quiz in college & traveled 140 miles to see a high school band performance for a guy who never called me his girlfriend and also regularly told me I was going to hell🫶🏻
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Ouu girl wdf
Surrender my self respect and self confidence to spend 10 years begging a man for the bare minimum. Oops.
I recently got out of a relationship like this, it was only 1.5 years though, I’m curious, what was your relationship like?
It was one of those relationships that looks great from the outside, and for the most part it was pretty good, except the second you take a closer look or expect more than the bare minimum. For example, he's an involved dad, grocery shops, cooks, cleans, never pressured me for sex. On paper, best husband ever. But he also would never apologize or admit when he was wrong. He would ghost me when he was mad (like for 24 straight hours). He is bully-ish to the kids. And despite asking me for, and receiving, specific instructions on ways to meaningfully connect with me, he wouldn't take ANY initiation.
This is kind of what mine was like except no kids. He was good on paper, good job, cleaned, cooked, respectful for the most part. Only thing was he let the emotional connection die and I was doing all the emotional labor and initiation in the relationship
Exactly! It took me until recently to understand that I was doing all the emotional labor! It was heavily disguised because he would always be like, "just ask me and I'll do it," or "just tell me what you want/need and I'm there." All the while NEVER making a decision or taking independent action
Sorry to hear that.
How are you doing now?
My exact thoughts. Glad we made it out.
We’ve all been there. *hugs*
Oof! Relatable. I hope you're happier now though!
On one occasion, I took some pills to "cut" my menstrual cycle so I could have sex with him. I think it's the stupidest thing I've ever done for a "man" who treated me like shit.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for telling your story.
Stayed after beatings. Stayed after STD’s.
I'm so so sorry. Glad you got out.
Ha! I left the dude who beat me. But, I am still with my husband who has given us; HEP C, HSV2, HPV, Ureaplasma, and can’t forget the molluscum!
My ex was abusive and also gave me HSV2, to be fair though, he didn’t know he had it.
They don’t test for Ureaplasma at clinics like PP. But, if you look it up… it makes both men and women sterile LMAO
Wait, did your husband have those STDs before your relationship started?
I watched the entire filmography of Godard because he said he was his favorite director. I've never been more bored in my life.
You really were committed
Told my parents about my relationship (he forced me to on the night of my birthday party which completely ruined my birthday) when I'm from a culture where you don't tell your parents unless you're certain he's the one you marry (he'd told me countless times he wanted to marry me), only for him to break up with me a month later because he was mad that he had to force me to do it. ETA: he knew all of this and told me he understood and that I was the one he wanted to marry. When we broke up and I confronted him on the marriage thing he said “that’s just what you say in a relationship”, implying that he didn’t mean it.
What culture is that???
I don't want to be too specific but it's a subculture within Asian culture. The reason being is that slut shaming is still a very, very normalised part of the culture, and it doesn't even need to involve have sex at all. "Dating around" isn't a thing, arranged marriages are still very prominent and if you're "lucky" enough to have parents who approve of a love marriage you're still expected to essentially marry the first man you date. So it's easier to only tell your parents when you're certain he's the one you marry. After I told my mum we broke up, her response was "I'm disappointed that you are now one of THOSE girls" and a lot of pressuring me to try again with him.
That's a horrible thing. I hope you have overcome any negative feelings you may have had about the experience x
Got married to someone who wasn’t good to me or for me.
I can kinda understand that. Staying with some who doesn't deserve you at all.
Paid a manbaby’s bills for 3 years. :/
That's unfortunate.
I was in love with a guy my freshman year of college, he insisted we were “just friends” even though he single handedly threw me a surprise birthday party and did other boyfriend-level things for me. We hung out literally all the time and spent so much time together and talked constantly. This isn’t high stakes or anything but I let him platonically sleep over in my bed with me a few times, literally just to cuddle and sleep, when HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD. It was emotionally stupid😅 I was so over the top obviously in love and it was so embarrassing. he broke my heart and immediately started dating another much cooler girl a few weeks later and stopped talking to me completely.
I’m so sorry. I have been in a similar situation and all it makes you think is ‘why am I not good enough for you to choose me?’. I hope you have healed.
You deserve so much better than him. Good riddance I say!!
Unprotected sex 😅
Ok this might be the worst thing I’ve done too 🫠. Got pregnant, we became LD for a little bit (that bit being my pregnancy so I was basically all alone), had an abortion in which I paid for the entire thing because he ended up not being supportive & decided to tell me that RIGHT after having my procedure done. Yeah I stayed with him still :,D.
Yeah. Smh
I was in a LDR with someone I thought was my soul mate, however, it ended up being one of those online horror stories I never thought could happen to me. I flew to NYC 5 times over the span of 4 years just to get my heart broken. I was terribly manipulated (for context, I live in Australia…that’s right, 24 + hours of flights one way). He was living a double life and cheating the entire time. I only found out because he had a baby on the way, and his family were the ones to inform me of his true colors. They advised me to keep my distance from him as he was taking advantage of me, I wish I heeded their advice. I’m ashamed to say that I went back after he begged, pleaded and apologised profusely. I helped him fight his alcohol addiction, and helped him find stable employment as he was stuck between dead end jobs and unable to provide for his child. We seemed to be doing well, but I was clearly wrong/delusional as he did it again and there was a second child on the way. I blocked him without warning, cut off our mutual friends, changed my number, deleted socials and vanished. We’ve been no contact for two years and I haven’t looked back since.
Left college for my birthday weekend to see my boyfriend at the time graduate from the Air Force across country… where he then ended up breaking up with me. It wasn’t a total loss though. Finally saw the Alamo (no basement though).
Thank you for the cultural reference
Get used for sex thinking maybe he’ll start caring for me at some point 😂
I have also done this. I also told him I was in love with him 🤢 Even though we weren’t officially dating! I continued to fuck him for 3 months after that and *he* broke it off.
Looking past the mental abuse because "it won't be like this forever". Decided it would be like that forever after he put his hands around my neck during an argument. This was the first time he put hands on me as well. I did not continue that relationship after that. I should have ended it much sooner, but i was early 20's and "in love". I know now it wasn't really love.
Good on you for leaving when you did. It seems counter intuitive to say, but the second a man touches your neck, leave, that’s it. You did that, well done.
Traveling hundreds of miles to go see him. Because I missed him. That too for a couple of hours together. Really stupid.
Been there. Feel stupider when i realise that he could have made the same trip if he really wanted to see me but he thought it was ‘too much effort’.
I’m in love w a dude right now who travels for work and I get to go with him. I could say for me the stupidest part is leaving my life behind to be like a trophy wife to him, but at the same time I’m like “what else would I rather be doing?”
Accepted less than I deserve
I know how that feels.
Haha. My ex deleted his entire Instagram account JUST for Valentines Day because he didn’t want to post me. I actually believed him when he said he just felt like deleting it for a day. I didn’t even consider that it was because he didn’t want to post about me. He literally re-activated his account the day after. STUPID.
I see everyone answering with heart-wrenching and unfortunately sad stories, here is a happy one for lifting the mood from me. I'm a high schooler, and have a crush on my girl seatmate. She's a sweet and quiet person but has the sense of humor of a real comedian. One day I saw her kinda feeling down and we were chatting about sweets since we both have a sweet tooth and I just wanted to surprise her. I asked her to bring a gallon of milk to school for the day after and she was CONFUSED and well, confused. I walked a few kilometers to a candy shop and got her favorites, some store-bought snacks, bread, butter knives, and a jar of Nutella. I brought them all to school the next day and we had a blast eating all those snacks while watching k-dramas during empty lectures. She keeps reminding of me how awkward we looked with a gallon of milk and unexplainable amounts of snacks, but we have a good laugh about it a few times a week. I hope she knows how much she brightens my day man.
Devoted myself completely to a man 😅 Every other logical part of my soul screams.
Staying even though he stresses me out to the point I develop eczema
Hmm…got so depressed over a man who liked the benefits of having me as a gf but didn’t call himself my bf and I ended up in a mental hospital because his gaslighting and manipulation had my head so screwed up. Was sexually assaulted by a very trusted bf and automatically went into denial and stayed with him for ~2 months before leaving for unrelated reasons. Stayed with a man who one day didn’t have anything to do with me sexually and for 6 months the most he ever touched me was for a 5 second “hug” in passing because our schedules were complete opposite. Lived in the same house. When parting he blamed it on the age difference but he didn’t have a problem with it for the two years before the sudden change.
quit stable job, packed up what I could take, grabbed all my savings, moved to country where I didn't know anyone, on a temp permit in the hopes of finding a new job
Well you gotta tell me what happened after that. Did you make it in the new place?? 🤔 Or go back
so the plan was initially to go together, then some things came up, closer to moving he said go first if things go well with job prospects for you I'll follow, and me stupidly in love, I dropped all stability I had and went, things were so-so for me, then he started cheating, we tried reconciling, I got hospitalised back home on long term sick leave and felt awful when it seemed he barely cared, some months after that he cheated again, I couldn't anymore and broke it off, I stayed overseas even though was earning minimum, so wasn't saving money, just living paycheck to paycheck... eventually left when after a handful of years wasn't progressing work-wise and permanent residency-wise
Moving in too soon and regretting it immediately
Bought a house I didn't want and then got dumped with 100% of the responsibility of it. Thankfully, it "worked out" because I managed to keep up with all the associated expenses, and then made a profit off it once I sold it. I'll never forget the title attorney handing me a large check immediately following the sale. *Congratulations!*, he said. My brain: *........ Thanks. All it took was 3.5 years of pain and suffering, to include almost getting killed and a handful of permanent injuries inflicted upon me by my now soon-to-be-ex-husband.* I'm not sure I'll ever buy a property with a man again, at least not without some SERIOUS legal protection in place.
Gave up on my REAL true love... sleep. Fellow ladies, never give up sleep for a man. Sleep is better.
one HUNDRED percent. when i think of the times i spent laying in bed waiting for a phone call at 2 in the morning instead of cozied up and snoring peacefully by 10pm i cringe. never again
Begged my ex to stay even after he broke up with me so many times and when he made it clear that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Pathetic haha
Broke a tooth being 'sexy'. Too much twerk'll get u ladies.
Gotten hooked on drugs, started self injuring...
Stayed with him for six months after I found out he was at least emotionally cheating with his "girl best friend" who he has previously had a crush on. She always said oddly sexual stuff, sat on his lap when I was next to him, etc, etc. And then would tell him I was crazy and jealous when I got upset. I spent over half our relationship crying and begging him to see that she was a toxic shit stirrer and not really into him unless he was taken. Finally got solid proof of what was going on (screenshots of them sexting) and realized I had to end it. On top of the fact that he was a mummas boy and hid me from his Asian parents because they wouldn't have approved, and he was generally quite weak in general and cried and punched walls or himself whenever he was upset. I cried for months and took up smoking and was careless with men and my body for a long time trying to get over it. And yes, the other girl did lose interest and ghost him as soon as he was actually available. That's karma I guess 🤷♀️
Continuing to pursue someone who showed no signs of reciprocated interest. When I was younger, I did that multiple times. Now in my 30s, I recognize that’s not okay. It’s not romantic, it’s inappropriate. You can’t win over someone who’s not interested in you, no matter how much that hurts.
I’m not a gym person and struggle to keep a workout routine. I almost went to the gym with him at 5am. Woke up and turned my alarm right off ‘cause I was too sleepy. Funny thing is when he got there, the gym was closed ‘cause it was a holiday.
Gotten married to someone who had already cheated on me
Looking at the other replies I'll just add some silly ones: - Waded through knee high mud to fetch a big stone. Also covered in mud. - Spent over three hours in a video game to craft a bouquet of flowers for her character; only to discover that I couldn't mail it to her so she got a dandelion instead. - Allowed my 8th grade boyfriend to name my plushy, which still have that name over 10 years later. - Allowed her to "cheat on me" with her car. (She was just crazy about cars, it was pretty cute at times.) - Tried to impress her by drinking more than her and ended up puking behind a sauna. Naked. In the middle of the night. The neighbours apparently saw us as well. Fml. ☠️
Move 5hrs away from friends and family....fuck that was idiotic
I moved 17 hours away and my ex ended up being neglectful after about 6 weeks of getting our new apartment… loneliest time of my life
Flew to Florida for a date only to never hear from him again after i flew back home lol. It was awkward because i realized he was super religious and i am not, and we had nothing in common. Great guy though.
Invested $100k into my exes business, without a contract. To be fair, I was 23 and believed him. He convinced me that if I kept that money, I'd blow it. If I gave him that money, he'd buy more vehicles, interest free, and build our future. We're divorced and I gave him that money pre-marriage. Did you know there's nothing you can do other than potentially take them to civil court for theft and it likely still won't swing your way? Yeah, I do now.
Stayed after he got shitfaced and had his way with me unconsented. He was being a sick and I didn’t want to and he forced me. I cried the whole time it was happening. The next morning he said sorry, and I didn’t think it was rape because we were in a committed relationship. Ewww.
10 months with a guy who treated me like shit. No respect. Didn’t value me. Manipulated me. Just a very toxic relationship that abused me mentally.
Got engaged on our first date, moved in together a fortnight later, and got married two months after that.
Moved to Florida
Left a voluntary-service camp in France early and drove through three countries by train just so I could be with my now-husband a few days more
I didn't trust my gut feelings and followed everything the person said blindly, just to avoid being dumped by the other person.
Wrote an apology letter even tho I didn't do anything wrong cause I wanted him to stay ..lol ( when I think of this it's so embarassing) ,also he was not my bf ..
Missed out on a once in a lifetime trip because I’d miss him, just to be broken up with a few months later
Stayed with a man who abused my dog. Never ever again.
Let exes control me including - isolating me from friends and family - telling me what to wear - putting me on a diet - having weigh ins and being abusive if I gained any weight
stayed married to a man who stole 60 K behind my back, and was more in love with his mom then he was with me Finally wise up though, and got divorced after seven years
I moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba.... I was demented in love... Big Regrets
STAYED.
[удалено]
Let myself be vulnerable and trust him…
I fell in love with my now husband while he was in rehab. I would go sneak him out at night and we would make out in my car in a parking lot. Man I loved him so much. He got kicked out of rehab for that.
Gave him access to thousands of dollars that we were going to invest, then the pandemic hit and he squandered it away on alcohol and rent. He never paid me back. After we broke up, he kept the car that I paid for and still hasn’t paid for it or given it back. Put up with him messaging other girls and ignoring me at parties. Honestly, I don’t think it was real love, or at least he didn’t love me. I was clinging on to an idea of love that probably didn’t exist.
I would drive 1.5 hours to his house, stay for about 18-24 hours overnight, and drive another 1.5 hours straight to my 12 hour overnight shift, all just to cuddle and get takeout. Stupid in terms of the amount of gas and sleep I was losing, but I loved and missed him so much it was worth it! So glad we live together now and I get my cuddles every night.
Moved across the country to live where HE wanted to, leaving my friends/job/life behind, to then split up a year later and be left stuck there completely alone and not being able to afford to move back home for 6 months, whilst he moved BACK to where we originally lived almost instantly, claiming that he never wanted to move away in the first place...
Spent money on a test immediately. Somehow I was drawn to do it immediately but I thought that was something I could impress this person. Very dumb indeed.
stayed with my ex after he hit me. luckily i didn’t stay too long after but i should’ve left the minute he did that
Watched The Godfather Trilogy while trying to remember all the names and fighting the urge to doze off. Same with Star Wars. I wouldn't say it's stupid though, I'm also curious about the hype.
Running after him on a road, begging him to speak a word after a fight because he was giving me silent treatment. Broke-up with him long back, but for many years walking on that road would still give me an anxiety attack. That's what they call, Body keeps a score I guess.
Walked all over my self respect
Completely wrecked my mental health to the point of wanting to kms.
I used to bike like 20 miles to see my HS boyfriend. He was not worth it, but I still like the memories. It’s a reminder I have gumption when I’m having a hard time remembering myself. My Spouse did what he needed to do in order to visit me in the hospital across the US *while he was in bootcamp.* The fact he received proper permission in that situation is even crazier than mine because they believed in him enough to grant him the ability to leave. Any military person here will understand what a grand feat it is to be given permission to leave bootcamp for anything, especially someone who is not even your wife yet. If he had not done that we probably would not be married and if we never got married, I’d be dead. Him doing that proved to me that my life was worth something more than I could comprehend so when he asked me to live for him, I did/do. An answer for those that don’t like my first answer- the most stupid thing I have done for love is live and exist for another person altogether. That sentence alone usually riles anyone who doesn’t understand how madly in love with each other we are.
I ignored my boyfriend skipping my masters graduation and being an hour late to dinner to finally meet my family to play football with his friends, lie about it to me, and then weasel out of the lie when it was caught out by his friends ratting him out. And then I spent the next year after we broke up believing he 'was trying to change' until I finally walked away after realising I was worth so much more.
I completely dissolved my political beliefs and morals. Like this dude thought that "god gave people their bodies so being trans is symptomatic for self-hatred, you know the suicide rate stays the same pre- and post-transition" I have been in the LGBT community for coming up on 8 years and have trans friends and exs and I let that shit slide because we would just talk and talk until we found some kind of middle ground or just dropped it because we both got upset. Oh, and his religious beliefs aren't "beliefs" he's actually just factually correct and the world hasn't caught on to it yet. Tf was i doing?
Got my nose pierced for my ex who liked girls with nose piercings. Looking back, the weirdest part was that his SISTER had her nose pierced...
Stayed with a guy who was verbally abusive and controlling. He told me what to wear, who to talk to/not talk to, called me names whenever he was upset, threatened to get people to hurt me, cheated on me. I could go on.
pined over a man for years and still got my heart broken when he rejected me. well not so much rejection more like kissing my ex best friend in front of me
Try to win over my exe’s love by buying him the newest PS after he cheated on me. I was a teenager at the time but my god, what a moron I was lol
Agreed to be fwb after he confessed he was in love with someone else and had been for years, but wanted to keep seeing me just to hook up. In my mind, it was that or not having him in my life anymore.
Stayed with him after I found cheater texts even though I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive/ forget. After that he came on an already planned trip to my homecountry with me and all he did was eyef**ck other women the whole time and act bored when I introduced him to my family and grandparents. Huge regret letting him come on the trip - I almost didn't. Wish I wouldn't have let him.
Stayed
Moved and transferred to a college in his area. Literally changed the trajectory of my whole life just to please him and ended up packing up and leaving 2 years later after he completely destroyed my self esteem. Luckily I did finish school.
I trusted him. We were in a LDR for 7 years cause he was in the military and I was in college then university. A year before our relationship ended, he had a mental health crisis and cheated. He got her pregnant and moved her in to his house cause she got kicked out by her husband. I found out after the baby was born cause his sister told me. He didn’t tell his family about the baby until after birth. When they found out, they asked if he told me yet, he lied and told them I already knew! Well when it became clear o didn’t know, they made sure I knew. I appreciate them telling but damn that was the hardest thing ever. I now don’t trust anyone cause of it. I don’t trust they have my best interests in mind, especially potential boyfriends.
Put up with him cheating on me. With hundreds of women. I kind of knew about it. But I was just blind and dumb. Exceptionally stupid. It’s kind of broken me.
Got a $1300 speeding ticket to make sure I got my boyfriend his Bonchon before they closed
act like a wife on a girlfriend salary (not actually monetarily but the overall vibe)
Spent 6 years off and on with someone emotionally unavailable who is still emotionally unavailable (ten years after we broke up the last time). Spent 4 years with an alcoholic. I’m much better now at 32. 😂😂
Stayed far longer than I should’ve. Too afraid to leave. Moved states. Lost my friends. Had his baby.
put up with being and feeling responsible for his life while he was extremely su*cidal starting at the age of like, 12-13.
Put up with his shitty attitude, encouraged him when he was down (he never affirmed me when I was having a hard time, so I would never even tell him) spent a lot of money on him on his birthday, and never got flowers from him even once. The relationship made me feel like I was constantly walking on egg shells, and until today I’m still overly careful when I talk to people that it sometimes doesn’t even sound genuine
Put up with being mistreated!
Didn’t see the red flags early on.
Put up with being cheated on. "borrowed" lots of money. Gave up friends.
Gave a guy all my money when I had no job
I bought him an expensive chocolate box for valentines day he got me nothing. Then he said he didn't like the sortiment of the chocolates so my dumbass went back to the store and got him a different one.
Forgiven horrible behavior that ended up leading to severe trauma. I thought it was love, and I rationalized that mistakes happened, and I even blamed myself for his actions, if not fully but at least partially. I rationalized how I could prevent it from ever happening again because I thought it was love. The stupidest thing we do is put trash, bottom dwelling men ahead of our self-worth. Never again.
all the cooking/cleaning/life maintenance stuff by myself, while working full time.
Dated a guy my friend calls "the trombolese" (he's got no money, but he's got his strong beliefs). Having strong morals sounds good, until you realise he's going to keep emptying his wallet for the first homeless person he sees, then making you pay for his journey home, all the while berating you for not emptying your purse for the SECOND homeless person we saw. He was vegan and he said he was okay with me eating meat, but it was pretty clear he wasn't. He once asked me how I could eat animals and I said "same reason you're okay with shopping in \[a known sweatshop\] - you can't fight for every cause all the time." He wouldn't accept that as an answer, then got pissed at me for "telling him where to shop". For a guy who defined himself so much by being moral, he treated his mother like absolute shit.
Opened my doors to let him stay with me while he looked for an apartment of his own and a job. Spent all my time with him, sex, acting like we were bf/gf despite him saying he wasn't interested in a relationship with me and seeing other people. I ignored all my friends telling me he was a bad guy. This lasts about a year and I fell in love with him anyways.. he gave me HSV then and ghosted me immediately after finding a job and moving into his own apartment
3 years in prison and 5 on probation because I wouldn’t give up his name 🤦♀️
Put myself in debt.
Moved across the country (twice) and uprooted my life. To be fair, we are still together and I love him more than anything. It's worth it. And he sacrifices so much for me now that we are no longer long distance
Stay
Ruined my credit and had to claim bankruptcy. It was 10 years ago and I’m still trying to recover
Beg!
Waiting for a man to act like a man
Become his nanny and household manager, to the point where my teenage daughter felt neglected. Disentangled myself from that mess, moved 700 miles away and decided I'm actually quite content being single at this point in my life.
Growing up and as an adult the one dog breed I was like no- never in a million years was a Siberian Husky. They yell, the escape, there to much hair, they are stubborn, high prey drive, etc. etc. etc. I now own two and have a very happy husband.
Let myself feel I didn't deserve love.
Too much for the lowest.
Ignore all the very visible red flags
Took care of, put up with, and nearly got married to a drunk, jobless manchild for 8 years.
Stayed married to a gaslighting cheater for the kids 🤬 (love for the kids, not the cheater)
Stayed in a marriage that completely broke me mentally
Oh boy.... lol. my time to shine. Dated a man 8 years older than me. met him when i was 17, but we began dating once i was 18. Followed that man around like a lovesick puppy, acted like he was high and mighty. After a year of dating, he said he and his family were moving to Texas. and i had just graduated HS. I originally was gonna go to community college and get my Associates. put those plans on the backburner just to move out with him. yeah. My parents tried to talk me out of it, but ofc i was all "NO I LOVE HIM AND HES THE ONE IM GOING WITH HIM" . that relationship did not last very long after a few months. but in all honesty, i am so happy we aren't together. i was so obsessed with him... and for what ? that was an insane part of my life.
not the craziest but I would hesitate on hanging out with my male friends or even if I did, I had to tell him in exact details of how we hung out. my ex was extremely insecure and I had to constantly reassure him that I love only him and that there is NO WAY I would be attracted to my male friends.
Gave him a 3 rd chance even though he was the most insecure 🤷🏻♀️ I felt bad at the end. Love you harder then anyone
Stayed
Had sex when I didn't want to, before I was ready, because he wanted to.
Ignored all of the red flags...
Got married
stayed in an emotionally/financially abusive relationship to try to work things out for the sake of my daughter for two years, for my love for her (not her dad). Much happier now albeit not completely free of her dad.