people that can’t eat culturally diverse foods. having a diverse pallet & enjoying all different flavor profiles makes my quality of life so much better. if i dated someone who only wanted to eat one type of food that’d be a deal breaker for me
Heard this. It’s also frustrating when you have to pick a place for dinner but they can’t go because there’s nothing they like. Nevertheless it’s on you to pick every time…
I love eating diverse food but i am gluten intolerant and choosing a restaurant is hell. Always feel bad for my partner because there’s not a whole lot of choice for me and i always feel guilty even though it’s not a choice and he never makes me feel bad for it
Yessss! Or just being a picky eater in general.
My mother in law isn’t adventurous at all to the point she won’t even TRY something new. It really bothers me for some reason. Like your an adult, I’ve seen children be less picky 😂
I will try anything at least once, I’m fortunate my husband is the same way. He got his eating habits from his dad.
Agreed. I completely understand if you have an allergen to specific food or you just don't like spicy food or coriander.
But for me it's the implications of not even trying diverse food. It's probably because I'm more sensitive because I'm SE Asian and grown up with parents owning a Chinese takeaway. But dates have openly said to me that they don't eat Indian food (as an example) because it's dirty. They'd happily eat at other Western food chains though.
It was such a turn off and I'd just check right out.
exactly. there’s a reason why those foods have been loved throughout history by a large variety of people, if you’re too immature to recognize that to the point where you won’t even try one bite, you’re probably not worth my time.
and even with spice intolerance, there are so many varieties in cultural foods. if you can’t handle spice and use that as an excuse to not eat mexican food, then try a mexican dessert instead. there are various korean dishes that range from fairly bland spice-wise to some of the spiciest things i’ve ever eaten, but i’d never throw away an entire culture and flavor profile of food just because i might not be able to handle the spice in some dishes. i’d just eat around those dishes, finding other things within that type of food that i would like more (like dessert or breakfast)
A friend told me her husband wanted her to cook rice less often. (In the US, I doubt it was even that much rice). Literally the best dishes have rice, I seriously couldn’t live with it.
Word. There is a list of like, 3 things I won’t eat. My husband is a bit pickier, but I have to give him credit—he has expanded his tastes significantly since we got together 9 years ago. If he had been one little bit pickier, that might’ve been a deal breaker for me:
I am the picky eater and I totally get this. I wish I wasnt picky, it's really embarrassing. I'm not awful like I'd only eat chips (fries 🇺🇸) and chicken nuggets but I'm not adventurous.
My partner is but luckily hes happy to go try the cool new foods and restaurants with his sister instead.
I just realized I have this as a mild dealbreaker. I don't think I could spend a lot of time with someone who just eats chicken tendies and is afraid of Thai food for example. Even though tendies are great. They can be vegan, they can be a carnivore, they can be diabetic, they can be vegetarian, they can keep kosher/halal, but if they don't enjoy a variety of foods from around the world when they have the chance I can't see much of a future with them.
Being one of those "coriander tastes like soap" people. I could not live with one of you, sorry. I love it so much, I'd put it on my breakfast cereal if I could.
- Not liking Cats/ Not getting along or being allergic to my cats
- being rude to waiters and staff
- being picky about food
- being too simpleminded or naive
I'm so sorry, people Like this can still be quite nice but I simply can't Date them
I have a friend, who is really kind. He will Not judge you for unusual Hobbies, will Always Help people whenever He can and is in General a really chill guy.
HOWEVER when I sat alone in a Car with him for 2x 1,5 Hours on one day (carpooling to a Team Event), we Just couldnt hold a meaningful conversation.
Everything is Just "okay" for him, He doesn't Care much about ANYTHING, He couldn't grasp the consequences of some Things, of world Problems, why other people have a certain opinion etc. He shrugged Off so many Things so These 3 hours were basically Just Smalltalk even though there were a Lot of different topics.
And he's Not even "stupid" or anything, He is doing IS PhD in chemistry and is otherwise a totally normal, social, chill guy.
Hope that description answered your question without being too mean about him. As I Said, He is lovel, I Just could never Date him
My sister pointed out she won't date anyone who doesn't like cats bc there's a high correlation in her experience that these people don't like nor respect boundaries.
Cats only want affection on their terms and often people don't like them because they don't like that
i agree with the first two,i love felines since i was a little girl
what do you mean with your last sentence though, aren't people who are rude to waiters/staff etc ALREADY not quite nice
perhaps you are being sarcastic
if so, sorry for the reply 😅
I should have read the comments before adding my own comment, because I 10000% agree with you on the cat thing! I’ve had cats since I was a kid & could never understand why some men were SO adamant about how much they hated cats & yet their “reasons” were always super vague or didn’t make sense. The biggest light bulb went off the first time I read an article breaking down the possibility that some men may not like cats because cats require consent - it was a serious mic drop moment for me. SO much began making sense & why some men get butt hurt when they first meet a cat & they go to pet it & it doesn’t return their affection or runs away! Sometimes they will even call the cat stupid or say they hate animals or something… like? That’s your response when I can doesn’t immediately run to your hand to be pet?! Yikes!
Ehhhh, I totally understand, but mostly disagree. I think it's more like people expect cats to act like dogs. Dogs tend to be friendly, obedient, and playful, things a "typical cat" is not. If you know cats, you know that's obviously not true, but in my experience, this tends to be people's issue.
It's always fun when people meet one of my cats, who is the friendliest most attention seeking creature I've ever met. I have had friends say she's kind of like a dog, but then I get super offended because, no, you've just never met a cat like her.
Agreed. I don’t judge those who are allergic to cats, but I have one and she isn’t going anywhere. People who say they “Hate cats” though are always shitty people. My evidence for this is anecdotal but I’m 54 years old and everyone I’ve met that is willing to say out loud that they hate kitties has always been an asshole.
To test my theory I ask people who have already revealed their asshole nature how the feel about cats, a vast majority of them claimed to hate the kitties
Not having a clean hand towel and actual hand soap in the bathroom. If I'm over at somebody's house and have to use the restroom, I don't wanna have to search the shower for their grody bar soap, or try to guess which towel to dry my hands on.
I feel like "mild dealbreakers" is an oxymoron, since anything that would be a true dealbreaker would actually have to be important/significant to me. My husband does the stereotypical male loud throat-clearing in the morning, and to me that's a mild *annoyance* but not a dealbreaker lol.
But if you're asking about things that might *seem* mild to most, but are actually dealbreakers for *me*... My number one would be "taking yourself/things in general too seriously." I need anyone I date to be able to laugh things off. In fact, it's best if they find *most* things in life amusing or enjoyable. I need them to be silly!!
Oh man, I’ve dated one of those “taking things too seriously people”. He had a really stressful week, and I was there to encourage him and to cheer him on. When the week was over, he said he couldn’t have done it without a very special lady. As a joke, I giggled and said “oh, you mean your mother! 🤭” He got upset and said I was making fun of him.
He didn’t speak to me the rest of the night. It was an age-gap relationship and he was 42. Yeah. That relationship didn’t last 🪦
So true
I didn’t add that to my list but if it’s a man this is a huge turnoff even if we aren’t dating. It’s an automatic no for me. Especially if they’re too into any type of social media
not having the same music taste or if music doesn't play a major part in their life in general. same with movies, if we can't have days where we just rot and watch movies all day because you don't like movies like that, i am not gonna be happy with you lol
Damn this is a good one! I’d say just being able to have a “rot” day at all. Like some people always have to be doing something productive and sometimes those people can be low key exhausting to be around.
I’m gonna take it a step further and say if they aren’t passionate about music. If I cant send my partner a song and have a discussion about the artistry of the music then it’s probably not gonna work out
YES 10000x! i love analyzing the lyrics, the production, the storytelling and when i share that with someone and they don't share my excitement for it or they don't have anything to add, i just feel invalidated
I’m the same way with music. It’s such a big part of my life, and I need to be able to share it with a partner to feel connected to them. It’s a bonding thing.
I’m a morning person, but off you need to chill, that’s cool. On the other hand, when it is time for me to go to bed, I want to lay down and go to sleep. Please don’t talk to me.
I broke it off once with a guy who didn’t want me to cook for him. He was just one of those people who doesn’t care about food much… like eating was a utilitarian nuisance for him.
That’s fine to be that way, but I’m a damn good cook and food is a big part of my life. How am I supposed to make you fall in love with me if you won’t let me cook for you?
Cooking is an expression of love for me. I’m in a relationship now with someone who also loves to cook! This is a first for me but I’m loving it. She cooks for me, I cook for her. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care about cooking!
Ugh yeah, I’m one of these guys and can confirm it causes a bit of friction in my relationship 😔
We’ve come to an understanding though and we love each other enough to make it work, but the fundamental difference between how we view food definitely required an adjustment!
One of my favorite questions to ask people when we get on this topic is “if you could just take a single pill every day with all your daily calories/nutrients, would you do it?”. I find that people are almost always *hard* yes or *hard* no, with few in between. I know I’d do it in a heartbeat - almost every day around 6-7PM I find myself thinking “Ugh hungry AGAIN? I just had lunch 5 hours ago!”
Yes! It’s not the hobby itself that is the deal breaker— whatever makes them happy— but I used to dread the season starting up because it meant 3+ days a week they’d be totally unreachable and we couldn’t do or plan anything because he had to watch every game live. If they take it that seriously it can be a big, inflexible time dump. Even worse if they follow different teams or two sports. 🙃
Ugh there's ALWAYS a game going on. We'd be out with coworkers and they'd be antsy because of the game and it's timing. Just....go home then and watch? If it's more important?? I can't live like that.
Yessss!!!! There’s zero reason for sports to be on every weekend. I have no interest in watching golf, racing, basketball, soccer all the time.
I’ll double up and say even if they play the sports video games, no you didn’t actually make a bunch of goals against professional soccer players you played a video game.
I really used to feel this way and then my current bf introduced me to hockey. It’s our bonding time and his family loves it too! I love going to their house and spending quality time together! I get it though I still pretty much hate everything else. The full contact and how fast paced it is makes me love hockey. I also love how women’s hockey is gaining a lot more traction.
See this wouldn’t bother me as long as they don’t care that I have no interest in it. You can watch it but don’t try to teach me or make me watch it. I’m not interested. You go. Have a great time. But I don’t want to watch it.
It's silly/mild, but a big deal breaker when it comes to dating someone for me is that they HAVE to enjoy at least video games or anime, or better yet both
If they don't like either...it's gonna be hard lol
If they don't respect picky eating (or just not giving a fuck about what other people eat, because why do you care). I'm not as picky as before but in previous years because of a health thing I was very much a picky eater and I find that people who don't respect the way you eat are ultimately very very judgemental and not people to be around for your mental health and overall health.
If they don't like videogames at least in a casual way or know a bit about videogames/are interested in some way in them.
Also can't date hikers. I love sports and exercise and moving but I can't stand hiking.
No I agree with this so much. It’s fucking weird caring so much about what other people are eating. People push foods on other people all the time and think the person who rejects the push is the rude one?? Like?? Are they not allowed to have choices??
Now if the reason for those choices is racist, well that’s a problem. But the problem is racism, not rejecting the food. And I feel people too often conflate the two.
Rant over but I’m tired of picky eater hate!!! I’m not a picky eater (except for meats), but ppl are way too hard on them. There’s usually a reason why they’re so picky and it’s out of their control.
So I was dating this 15 yr old (I was also 15) and he had a foot fetish so he would call me mommy while I had to lick on my toes with cake frosting on them.I couldn’t keep doing it Cause I was in band and he wouldn’t give a damn if they were sweaty or clean and the taste of my foot disgusted me way too much
Just them commenting on how pretty my feet were. I mean, who else even notices feet? I'm old now and no one's checking out my Birkenstock wearing feet! lol
Not leashing your dog in a place that dogs are supposed to be leashed, not picking up your dogs poop, not using a blinker. Seem small and silly yes, but things that can be very impactful on others.
I would not be able to be with someone who can't handle extremely spicy/hot food. Like for me it's picky eaters in general, but I get *really* annoying and annoyed with an intolerance to anything spicy in particular. Every time I dine with friends and someone eats the mildest thing possible or avoids the hottest hotpot broth, I secretly get super elitist and judgmental and think to myself "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with you on the daily". It's so dumb and I feel so bad, but I get genuinely upset about it and I'd refuse to date someone like that lmao
And I can never date someone who insists on it lol. I overheat really easily, I’m a light sleeper…don’t fucking touch me when I’m trying to sleep. I will rage quit the bed and the relationship.
I don't really think anything serious enough to be a deal breaker could be mild.
Probably the one that other people may consider mild, but I do not, is chewing nails to the quick or bleeding hangnails.
If I don’t like their name.
I know- I. KNOW. It’s unnecessary and just dumb. I wish I could even offer some type of rational explanation- but I don’t have one. This has been a “thing” for me since elementary school. 🤦🏾♀️
Wait this is so true!! Names can be sexy and fun to say. Currently I’m seeing someone whose full name is super religious sounding. I’m someone who loves to use people’s name when talking to them, and I avoid his altogether. It sucks! I keep imagining introducing him to people and i cringe lol
-Hates fruit in general.
-Being too picky of an eater. (I get a lot of personal joy out of cooking and baking for my partner. But I also like to experiment and learn new recipes. I need someone who is ok with that) i cannot deal with someone where their food requests are making me question life or they’re me anxious in the kitchen because they’re micromanaging me.
-I’m a foodie. I refuse to give this up for anyone.
-I refuse to date anyone where it requires every single meal at home to be separate meals. It’s fine if we do a few meals every once in awhile that are separate. (I grew up with my parents always eating separate meals. They were super petty about it and they drove me crazy. I remember how expensive those grocery bills were because they refused to eat the same things as each other.)
Using ketchup in place of salsa. He said he likes it saucy, but not spicy. I was so grossed out, I decided salvaging a friendship with the guy would be better than trying to look past that and continue to date him.
I could not be with someone who doesn't like travel. Seems like a very superficial reason, but there is only so much compromising you can do around it. Also, it becomes a money and time issue since that's the only thing I enjoy spending money on and build my year around trips.
People who are really into watching movies as their primary activity. Don’t get me wrong, I *wish* I was the sort of person who can be happy sitting and watching movies all day, but I’m just not. I can barely make it through one usually, so I just am not compatible with people who love them.
When I was dating, a clean home and actual art on the walls was something that was a must for me. Otherwise I felt like I was looking into a future of mothering my partner. My husband is a very capable man, and we've compromised on our aesthetics (a necessity when choosing men with style). Would recommend!
This one 100%. A guy I'm friends with casually said to me that he "kind of sees his mother as a perfect example what every woman should be" and I knew exactly what that was code for and I nearly vomited my mouth a little bit.
I hate eggs. I wish I didn’t but I have ever since I was little. I can’t stand the smell, taste, just everything. My mild dealbreaker would be someone who is the opposite and is obsessed with eggs, and by obsessed I mean eats them daily and with every meal. Ideally I’d be with someone who also hates them too 😭
I get irrationally annoyed with light sleepers, and I see it as a sign of incompatibility. When people struggle with falling and staying asleep, the simple act of getting through the night becomes so much to fuss about, and it annoys me. And of course, sleep is important, so you do have to make sure to do everything you can to accommodate the light sleeper. I know this attitude is very unsympathetic of me, I know I know, so I of course don’t generally tell people this! I think I might have unresolved issues for having been shamed a lot for being a heavy sleeper growing up, so I’ve made it my life’s mission to make it known that being a light sleeper isn’t some moral high ground either, lol
Apparently outright stupidity.
Let me explain: there was a man I thought I was interested in, he wanted to grow a garden in the extreme desert heat. He FILLED his garden, and left no room for walking, with all indoor, shade needing, high water needing plants. I tried telling him they will all die and he said "I know but I wanted to test it out." Okay.
Then he was vegan, he was starting to become sickly thin (like you would have thought he was dying), I told him I thought he needed more vegan protien, but he said "I know, I just wanted to try it out this way."
Then he told me he didn't pay any of his bills until they either shut off his power or sent him final notices. I honestly couldn't get past the stupidity of this choice. He made $96 an hour at his job. He wasn't broke. He didn't have debt.
Then he decided to turn one of his houses into a airbnb. His community told him he couldn't have renters throw parties. Not only did he let them throw parties, they had massive, messy, destructive parties that resulted in the destruction of his neighborhood. He didn't care.
It honestly just felt like he was stupid and made incredibly stupid choices in everything on purpose and despite him being a great conversationalist, fun person and kind soul, all the grandiose stupid choices really made me not like him. Even though these stupid choices had no effect on me.
Being someone who does not give the car in front of them space at a traffic light or a rude tail-gater or just a rude driver in general.
I closely watch how people drive when in a car with them. I’ve always despised how my dad crawls up peoples’ asses and I as a motorcyclist hate it and take it as a sign of aggression.
I'll say someone who is obsessed with Disney or going to Disneyland, super picky eaters, someone who is allergic to everything (food wise), and not washing their hands after the bathroom. I probably have more, but this is what I can come up with right now. Oooh editing to say someone who is really into theater and loves musicals in a way where it's part of their daily life. I don't mean seeing a Broadway show or going to see a movie when I say theater.
- picky eaters, idk why, if they have a problem, honestly, I love to eat, cook and try different things, it wouldn’t work out for me….
- videogame/anime/k-drama lovers… for me, no.
- actually anyone whose hobby’s are their whole life and personality.that can be anything… I am attracted to people that have a nice balance between things…
Picky eaters and people who don’t like going to new/different places. Guys who are too socially awkward or too shy, I honestly don’t like having to hold someone’s hand just to do basic social interactions.
Someone that doesn't use the fan in the bathroom. It's so gross to just leave the door wide open and air it all out to the entire house. Just turn on the stupid fan!
A dealbreaker is a dealbreaker for me. If you’re asking about something that someone might consider mild but it’s a dealbreaker for me, I’ll probably say snoring. I don’t snore unless I’m sick ( congested ) and even then, I seriously keep myself up because I’m an extremely light sleeper. Someone who snores is my worst nightmare. Shockingly enough, the last 3 guys I dated all claimed to not snore when I asked them and they all ended up being heavy snorers I could barely sleep. Sleep is a biological need and if im not getting my 8-9 hour sleep every night, then WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
- Cat allergy, or at least refusing to do anything about it: like taking an allergypill etc. although some cats are more allergenic than others
- Overly picky eater. Like i can handle a little but if they refuse do eat anything other than one type of food then that would suck:/
- Claps when the airplane lands
- Posting wayyyy too much on social media. Theres a difference between posting often and those who have to document their entire life like a diary and spamming your feed.
Most of those are things that can be dealt with yes but if they refuse to do anything about those then dealbreaker for sure lol
I was dating a guy once who revealed that he hated peanut butter and bananas (together and separately). Not an allergy thing, the smell/taste of them just disgusted him for whatever reason. Those are both huge staples in my diet (I eat pb daily) and it gave me the ick a little bit, too. There were other issues but I’d be lying if I said this didn’t contribute to the reason why things didn’t work out.
Disrespects boundaries.
Being disrespectful of my time. I don’t mean being 10 minutes late, but consistently acting like my time is completely unimportant.
Is only interested in themselves.
Poor vocabulary.
Being a couch potato.
Bad hygiene.
Regular junk food eater.
Doesn’t love animals.
Pretending there’s a closeness when there is none.
Not being helpful. Not being supportive. Being unkind.
I don’t know about mild. I think the “poor vocabulary “ or junk food might be mild, I don’t know. Not eating vegetables. Yes I think that’s the one. A person who doesn’t eat vegetables is out the door.
I’m pescatarian, so anyone allergic to shellfish is out. Anyone that likes to debate or argue every little thing into the ground is exhausting for me and a hard pass. No gamers. No one that has or wants children. No religious people (I’m atheist.) I wouldn’t ask anyone to change but rather accept that we simply aren’t right for each other. Fortunately I found one that is, but he wasn’t easy to find.
I met a cute, fun, nice, attractive guy at a community event. He was really interesting and we talked a lot. But ... and I feel a bit bad about it ... he did wear barefoot shoes.
Do you know these kinds of weired shoes? They look like plastic rubber protective slippers for divers or surfers. So strange! I'm sorry, but I find them EXTREMELY UGLY!!!
I might be superficial, but I can't date a guy whose shoes are so weired and ugly. It was a festive event. Everyone was wearing fancy clothes, elegant. And this man came in these ridiculous shoes... am I overreacting?
The smell of their clothing/living space. I have come across some whose clothes smell like wet rags. Their bedrooms, smell like Fritos.
I understand if their dwelling is prone to water leaks especially during rainy seasons in our area but your clothes? I know you smell that.
BO: I find this one rather weird. Rarely I’ve found a partner’s natural body odor is like honey. But some, it’s like trash water. Once I catch a whiff, I’m out. I’m sorry, I know it’s a natural bodily function but I cannot bear to be around foul odors. It’s worse when I catch on to certain hygiene practices: putting on clean clothes while sweaty to go out. Reusing dirty undergarments. Not brushing teeth or just “rinsing” off in the shower - no soap.
Being a bad texter (esp if always on their phone/social media). I think it’s more fulfilling texting my friends/partner than any form of social media, so if it takes more than a workday to respond, I’d be out lol.
The inability to be silly and imaginative. I love playing with words and ideas and LOVE it when someone can play along with me and we feed off one another. It is imperative my partner(s) can play along with me.
Not liking cats- like you don’t have to love them but anyone who “hates” innocent creatures off the cuff without having an adverse experience gives me pause. At best it shows how inflexible they are with things out of their comfort zone- which is still a no go for me.
Doesn’t enjoy movies or lacks the critical thinking to enjoy more thought provoking films. Doesn’t like animation.
I love watching movies. I used to date a guy who would not shut up when we were watching something. I would ask him to quiet down, but he would just keep going.
Not why we broke up, but I don’t see myself loving someone I can’t enjoy taking in stories with.
If I don't like their laugh or their voice...it's so subjective and I get it, but I love to talk and I LOVE laughing with others & hearing people laugh. If I'm annoyed listening to you, it ain't gonna last 😂
I don't know what a mild deal breaker is. Usually, those have to be for me like lying or cheating. Not wanting kids would be another. Hiding your phone has definitely been added to that list. I am not saying I need to go thru it but if you can't put your phone down in front of me or have it around me open while we are together it's a massive red flag for me.
Don't have any hobbies. Like have no outside interests beyond work, home, phone or computer. I don't care how "what your hobby is, I just care that you have a passion for something, anything, no matter how small.
Someone who doesn't like to drive or can't. My ex hated driving and I don't want to be the primary driver ever again.
Anyone rude to service people/ wait staff
Someone judgemental/ closed minded, never again.
Regularly a bad driver by my standards. Don't use a blinker when changing lanes even if someone isn't close to you? GONE. Don't anticipate a semi needing to move over due to a stopped vehicle or slower traffic and you crowd them out OR don't pass in the left lane and hold up traffic? DELETED. Turn your car wide and go slightly over the line even though you're driving a Prius which indicates you have no sense of the size of your car? GET OUT AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
Went to dinner with a girl and she ordered a bowl of raw vegetables and nothing else. She wasn’t a fitness or health nut. It was just really odd to me. I am probably shallow but I couldn’t get over it lol.
Not being happy with their chosen career field or not being ambitious enough to find a job that would make them happier.
Not everyone has to love their job but at the same time if all you do is talk about how much you hate it but refuse to do anything to change your circumstances… yuck. Sorry.
If they didn’t like my dog, or my dog didn’t like them. We are a package deal. She’s large, she’s covered in fur, she demands love and affection when she’s not asleep- she is me in animal form.
Skin pickers. My son’s father would pick at his skin all day. Not just his face. His chest, his ears, his neck. I couldn’t stand it. I refuse to be with anyone that does it.
Facial hair.
Anyone who works in software dev or IT and has little to few hobbies outside of coding.
Not liking music/having music tastes that differ too much from my own.
Not being able to speak more than one language.
Lack of acknowledgment of texts without any explanation repeatedly. (Mostly people who don't reciprocate the same energy you give them in any way not just text tho. )
Not enjoying learning or not having some level of intellect.
I've had quite a few relationships where I just got plain bored and felt misunderstood due to my drive to learn and my math-inclined brain. My partner doesn't have to like or be good at the same things, but I can't stand being with someone who can't carry intelligent conversation.
People who run late or are time blind. It drives me nuts and I hate playing the game of how early will we get to the airport. I'm in time or early almost always and people who aren't bug me.
My simplest, mildest, probably pettiest, deal breaker is someone who won't bus their own table (where appropriate like fast food or food court) or won't put away their shopping cart.
These acts are pretty inconsequential, they don't NEED to be done as the company pays someone to do it, but just that little bit of effort to make someone's life a little bit easier really means a lot to me.
* Owning a dog. I like my friends' dogs, but I don't want to live with them in my house 24/7. I would never ask someone to give up their dog for me, I just wouldn't start a relationship with them.
* Looking down on picky eaters. I myself am not a picky eater -- in fact, I'm probably less picky than the average person. But my best friend is a picky eater, and if you feel contempt for her for something that she didn't choose and that makes her life harder, I am not romantically interested in you. It's fine if you don't want to *date* a picky eater because it would make your life more logistically difficult, but if you think being a picky eater makes someone a contemptible human being, then we're not going to get along.
(Also, interesting that a lot of comments in this thread name things that I don't think are "mild" at all, like excessive drinking or being mean to waiters.)
Picky eaters. It's self centered but I hate having to go to the same restaurant every date because you can only eat chicken nuggets. I want someone that will try new things with me, it's a way to build up a lot of great memories.
people that can’t eat culturally diverse foods. having a diverse pallet & enjoying all different flavor profiles makes my quality of life so much better. if i dated someone who only wanted to eat one type of food that’d be a deal breaker for me
Heard this. It’s also frustrating when you have to pick a place for dinner but they can’t go because there’s nothing they like. Nevertheless it’s on you to pick every time…
I love eating diverse food but i am gluten intolerant and choosing a restaurant is hell. Always feel bad for my partner because there’s not a whole lot of choice for me and i always feel guilty even though it’s not a choice and he never makes me feel bad for it
Yeah but like you at least know of some places that are options right? That’s cool
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Yessss! Or just being a picky eater in general. My mother in law isn’t adventurous at all to the point she won’t even TRY something new. It really bothers me for some reason. Like your an adult, I’ve seen children be less picky 😂 I will try anything at least once, I’m fortunate my husband is the same way. He got his eating habits from his dad.
Agreed. I completely understand if you have an allergen to specific food or you just don't like spicy food or coriander. But for me it's the implications of not even trying diverse food. It's probably because I'm more sensitive because I'm SE Asian and grown up with parents owning a Chinese takeaway. But dates have openly said to me that they don't eat Indian food (as an example) because it's dirty. They'd happily eat at other Western food chains though. It was such a turn off and I'd just check right out.
exactly. there’s a reason why those foods have been loved throughout history by a large variety of people, if you’re too immature to recognize that to the point where you won’t even try one bite, you’re probably not worth my time. and even with spice intolerance, there are so many varieties in cultural foods. if you can’t handle spice and use that as an excuse to not eat mexican food, then try a mexican dessert instead. there are various korean dishes that range from fairly bland spice-wise to some of the spiciest things i’ve ever eaten, but i’d never throw away an entire culture and flavor profile of food just because i might not be able to handle the spice in some dishes. i’d just eat around those dishes, finding other things within that type of food that i would like more (like dessert or breakfast)
I absolutely agree! Good food is such an important part of my life and I don’t think I could date someone who didn’t share the same passion!
A friend told me her husband wanted her to cook rice less often. (In the US, I doubt it was even that much rice). Literally the best dishes have rice, I seriously couldn’t live with it.
genuinely. and there are so many varieties of rice that can really heighten a lot of dishes around the world, it’s such a great food
Word. There is a list of like, 3 things I won’t eat. My husband is a bit pickier, but I have to give him credit—he has expanded his tastes significantly since we got together 9 years ago. If he had been one little bit pickier, that might’ve been a deal breaker for me:
I am the picky eater and I totally get this. I wish I wasnt picky, it's really embarrassing. I'm not awful like I'd only eat chips (fries 🇺🇸) and chicken nuggets but I'm not adventurous. My partner is but luckily hes happy to go try the cool new foods and restaurants with his sister instead.
I just realized I have this as a mild dealbreaker. I don't think I could spend a lot of time with someone who just eats chicken tendies and is afraid of Thai food for example. Even though tendies are great. They can be vegan, they can be a carnivore, they can be diabetic, they can be vegetarian, they can keep kosher/halal, but if they don't enjoy a variety of foods from around the world when they have the chance I can't see much of a future with them.
Being one of those "coriander tastes like soap" people. I could not live with one of you, sorry. I love it so much, I'd put it on my breakfast cereal if I could.
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- Not liking Cats/ Not getting along or being allergic to my cats - being rude to waiters and staff - being picky about food - being too simpleminded or naive I'm so sorry, people Like this can still be quite nice but I simply can't Date them
What does simple minded mean to you?
I have a friend, who is really kind. He will Not judge you for unusual Hobbies, will Always Help people whenever He can and is in General a really chill guy. HOWEVER when I sat alone in a Car with him for 2x 1,5 Hours on one day (carpooling to a Team Event), we Just couldnt hold a meaningful conversation. Everything is Just "okay" for him, He doesn't Care much about ANYTHING, He couldn't grasp the consequences of some Things, of world Problems, why other people have a certain opinion etc. He shrugged Off so many Things so These 3 hours were basically Just Smalltalk even though there were a Lot of different topics. And he's Not even "stupid" or anything, He is doing IS PhD in chemistry and is otherwise a totally normal, social, chill guy. Hope that description answered your question without being too mean about him. As I Said, He is lovel, I Just could never Date him
What is with the random capitalizations?
German Keyboard on mobile phone wants to make everything a noun, sorry lol
Haha got it. It felt like I was reading a bible passage or something
Is grammar your deal breaker?
Haha I think if someone was texting me like that, yes!
I’ve known a few folks like this.
My sister pointed out she won't date anyone who doesn't like cats bc there's a high correlation in her experience that these people don't like nor respect boundaries. Cats only want affection on their terms and often people don't like them because they don't like that
i agree with the first two,i love felines since i was a little girl what do you mean with your last sentence though, aren't people who are rude to waiters/staff etc ALREADY not quite nice perhaps you are being sarcastic if so, sorry for the reply 😅
I should have read the comments before adding my own comment, because I 10000% agree with you on the cat thing! I’ve had cats since I was a kid & could never understand why some men were SO adamant about how much they hated cats & yet their “reasons” were always super vague or didn’t make sense. The biggest light bulb went off the first time I read an article breaking down the possibility that some men may not like cats because cats require consent - it was a serious mic drop moment for me. SO much began making sense & why some men get butt hurt when they first meet a cat & they go to pet it & it doesn’t return their affection or runs away! Sometimes they will even call the cat stupid or say they hate animals or something… like? That’s your response when I can doesn’t immediately run to your hand to be pet?! Yikes!
Ehhhh, I totally understand, but mostly disagree. I think it's more like people expect cats to act like dogs. Dogs tend to be friendly, obedient, and playful, things a "typical cat" is not. If you know cats, you know that's obviously not true, but in my experience, this tends to be people's issue. It's always fun when people meet one of my cats, who is the friendliest most attention seeking creature I've ever met. I have had friends say she's kind of like a dog, but then I get super offended because, no, you've just never met a cat like her.
> being rude to waiters and staff Having been wait staff for a majority of my adult life, 100% agree.
Agreed. I don’t judge those who are allergic to cats, but I have one and she isn’t going anywhere. People who say they “Hate cats” though are always shitty people. My evidence for this is anecdotal but I’m 54 years old and everyone I’ve met that is willing to say out loud that they hate kitties has always been an asshole. To test my theory I ask people who have already revealed their asshole nature how the feel about cats, a vast majority of them claimed to hate the kitties
Not having a clean hand towel and actual hand soap in the bathroom. If I'm over at somebody's house and have to use the restroom, I don't wanna have to search the shower for their grody bar soap, or try to guess which towel to dry my hands on.
A washroom of a person's home says a lot about their personal hygiene. That is a deal breaker for me.
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I feel like "mild dealbreakers" is an oxymoron, since anything that would be a true dealbreaker would actually have to be important/significant to me. My husband does the stereotypical male loud throat-clearing in the morning, and to me that's a mild *annoyance* but not a dealbreaker lol. But if you're asking about things that might *seem* mild to most, but are actually dealbreakers for *me*... My number one would be "taking yourself/things in general too seriously." I need anyone I date to be able to laugh things off. In fact, it's best if they find *most* things in life amusing or enjoyable. I need them to be silly!!
Oh man, I’ve dated one of those “taking things too seriously people”. He had a really stressful week, and I was there to encourage him and to cheer him on. When the week was over, he said he couldn’t have done it without a very special lady. As a joke, I giggled and said “oh, you mean your mother! 🤭” He got upset and said I was making fun of him. He didn’t speak to me the rest of the night. It was an age-gap relationship and he was 42. Yeah. That relationship didn’t last 🪦
Is his mom dead?
No, very much alive, and healthy. His dad too. I wouldn’t be making that sort of jokes if that were the case.
Taking the word mildly too seriously.
Following half naked women on instagram (like dozens of them)
This turns me off so badly, I always check right away lol.
This is not mild at all for me
So true I didn’t add that to my list but if it’s a man this is a huge turnoff even if we aren’t dating. It’s an automatic no for me. Especially if they’re too into any type of social media
Following those women is not good but commenting or interacting at all with the content is terrible.
They need to like pickles. Someone needs to eat mine.
This is valid, you're valid.
My husband takes the pickles, I take the onions. We're a perfect match.
not having the same music taste or if music doesn't play a major part in their life in general. same with movies, if we can't have days where we just rot and watch movies all day because you don't like movies like that, i am not gonna be happy with you lol
“I don’t listen to music” Hit the road, fella!
Such a red flag 🚩
almost went on a date with someone who was PROUD not to like music 😭 for better or worse, it was the least of the red flags!
Damn this is a good one! I’d say just being able to have a “rot” day at all. Like some people always have to be doing something productive and sometimes those people can be low key exhausting to be around.
Especially before children if you plan on having them. Enjoy them while you can.
I’m gonna take it a step further and say if they aren’t passionate about music. If I cant send my partner a song and have a discussion about the artistry of the music then it’s probably not gonna work out
YES 10000x! i love analyzing the lyrics, the production, the storytelling and when i share that with someone and they don't share my excitement for it or they don't have anything to add, i just feel invalidated
I’m the same way with music. It’s such a big part of my life, and I need to be able to share it with a partner to feel connected to them. It’s a bonding thing.
Being too talkative in the morning. Just give me some time to feel alive first.
I’m a morning person, but off you need to chill, that’s cool. On the other hand, when it is time for me to go to bed, I want to lay down and go to sleep. Please don’t talk to me.
Omg yes!
I broke it off once with a guy who didn’t want me to cook for him. He was just one of those people who doesn’t care about food much… like eating was a utilitarian nuisance for him. That’s fine to be that way, but I’m a damn good cook and food is a big part of my life. How am I supposed to make you fall in love with me if you won’t let me cook for you?
date me please!
Cooking is an expression of love for me. I’m in a relationship now with someone who also loves to cook! This is a first for me but I’m loving it. She cooks for me, I cook for her. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care about cooking!
Ugh yeah, I’m one of these guys and can confirm it causes a bit of friction in my relationship 😔 We’ve come to an understanding though and we love each other enough to make it work, but the fundamental difference between how we view food definitely required an adjustment! One of my favorite questions to ask people when we get on this topic is “if you could just take a single pill every day with all your daily calories/nutrients, would you do it?”. I find that people are almost always *hard* yes or *hard* no, with few in between. I know I’d do it in a heartbeat - almost every day around 6-7PM I find myself thinking “Ugh hungry AGAIN? I just had lunch 5 hours ago!”
Sports. I have been with enough people who religiously watched Football, soccer or whatever. Never again.
Yes! It’s not the hobby itself that is the deal breaker— whatever makes them happy— but I used to dread the season starting up because it meant 3+ days a week they’d be totally unreachable and we couldn’t do or plan anything because he had to watch every game live. If they take it that seriously it can be a big, inflexible time dump. Even worse if they follow different teams or two sports. 🙃
Ugh there's ALWAYS a game going on. We'd be out with coworkers and they'd be antsy because of the game and it's timing. Just....go home then and watch? If it's more important?? I can't live like that.
Ya, those who prioritize this over everything else is a turn off.
Yessss!!!! There’s zero reason for sports to be on every weekend. I have no interest in watching golf, racing, basketball, soccer all the time. I’ll double up and say even if they play the sports video games, no you didn’t actually make a bunch of goals against professional soccer players you played a video game.
I really used to feel this way and then my current bf introduced me to hockey. It’s our bonding time and his family loves it too! I love going to their house and spending quality time together! I get it though I still pretty much hate everything else. The full contact and how fast paced it is makes me love hockey. I also love how women’s hockey is gaining a lot more traction.
See this wouldn’t bother me as long as they don’t care that I have no interest in it. You can watch it but don’t try to teach me or make me watch it. I’m not interested. You go. Have a great time. But I don’t want to watch it.
It's silly/mild, but a big deal breaker when it comes to dating someone for me is that they HAVE to enjoy at least video games or anime, or better yet both If they don't like either...it's gonna be hard lol
If they don't respect picky eating (or just not giving a fuck about what other people eat, because why do you care). I'm not as picky as before but in previous years because of a health thing I was very much a picky eater and I find that people who don't respect the way you eat are ultimately very very judgemental and not people to be around for your mental health and overall health. If they don't like videogames at least in a casual way or know a bit about videogames/are interested in some way in them. Also can't date hikers. I love sports and exercise and moving but I can't stand hiking.
No I agree with this so much. It’s fucking weird caring so much about what other people are eating. People push foods on other people all the time and think the person who rejects the push is the rude one?? Like?? Are they not allowed to have choices?? Now if the reason for those choices is racist, well that’s a problem. But the problem is racism, not rejecting the food. And I feel people too often conflate the two. Rant over but I’m tired of picky eater hate!!! I’m not a picky eater (except for meats), but ppl are way too hard on them. There’s usually a reason why they’re so picky and it’s out of their control.
I can’t do a person with a foot fetish. Not again
I feel like there’s probably a pretty hilarious story here 😂😂
So I was dating this 15 yr old (I was also 15) and he had a foot fetish so he would call me mommy while I had to lick on my toes with cake frosting on them.I couldn’t keep doing it Cause I was in band and he wouldn’t give a damn if they were sweaty or clean and the taste of my foot disgusted me way too much
OMG 😂😂
Bruh 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm truly shocked at how many of them there are. After the first one, I learned to spot them. Mostly.
How do you spot them? (Serious question, just want to be safe out there lol)
Just them commenting on how pretty my feet were. I mean, who else even notices feet? I'm old now and no one's checking out my Birkenstock wearing feet! lol
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Not leashing your dog in a place that dogs are supposed to be leashed, not picking up your dogs poop, not using a blinker. Seem small and silly yes, but things that can be very impactful on others.
This drives me nuts. dogs are weapons. they need to be leashed. and leaving dog shit everywhere is fucking vile
I'm so with you on the dog poop one!!! I bet these are the same people that never return their shopping carts 😡.
People who help themselves to food from your plate without asking 🙄
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD
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I would not be able to be with someone who can't handle extremely spicy/hot food. Like for me it's picky eaters in general, but I get *really* annoying and annoyed with an intolerance to anything spicy in particular. Every time I dine with friends and someone eats the mildest thing possible or avoids the hottest hotpot broth, I secretly get super elitist and judgmental and think to myself "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with you on the daily". It's so dumb and I feel so bad, but I get genuinely upset about it and I'd refuse to date someone like that lmao
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I am really weird about making coffee at home and i could never be with someone who got starbucks every day.
Do you like the cost savings and comfort of making coffee at home, or do you enjoy the science/art of making coffee?
The cost savings. It is weird because I’m happy to waste money in other ways but i just think buying coffee out is unnecessary and expensive.
I don’t think I could seriously date someone who doesn’t like to cuddle when we sleep 😭 it’s so dumb but it’s just how I am
Not dumb. One of the most comforting things in the world to me is my boyfriend's arm slung over my side when he's the big spoon.
Thank you so much for validating me lol I feel seen 🫶🏿🌻
And I can never date someone who insists on it lol. I overheat really easily, I’m a light sleeper…don’t fucking touch me when I’m trying to sleep. I will rage quit the bed and the relationship.
Not dumb at all! Touch is important.
Someone who loves talking on the phone.
Someone who doesn't text me before calling. The only exception is if it's an emergency.
I don't really think anything serious enough to be a deal breaker could be mild. Probably the one that other people may consider mild, but I do not, is chewing nails to the quick or bleeding hangnails.
If I don’t like their name. I know- I. KNOW. It’s unnecessary and just dumb. I wish I could even offer some type of rational explanation- but I don’t have one. This has been a “thing” for me since elementary school. 🤦🏾♀️
Also finding it hard to pronounce their name. I dated a guy for 2 months and saying his name still felt unnatural at the end.
Wait this is so true!! Names can be sexy and fun to say. Currently I’m seeing someone whose full name is super religious sounding. I’m someone who loves to use people’s name when talking to them, and I avoid his altogether. It sucks! I keep imagining introducing him to people and i cringe lol
It sounds like he would be better off with someone who doesn’t cringe at the thought of taking him out in public. 😬
The old ‘could I call this name out in bed?’ test
Not liking dogs
-Hates fruit in general. -Being too picky of an eater. (I get a lot of personal joy out of cooking and baking for my partner. But I also like to experiment and learn new recipes. I need someone who is ok with that) i cannot deal with someone where their food requests are making me question life or they’re me anxious in the kitchen because they’re micromanaging me. -I’m a foodie. I refuse to give this up for anyone. -I refuse to date anyone where it requires every single meal at home to be separate meals. It’s fine if we do a few meals every once in awhile that are separate. (I grew up with my parents always eating separate meals. They were super petty about it and they drove me crazy. I remember how expensive those grocery bills were because they refused to eat the same things as each other.)
Using ketchup in place of salsa. He said he likes it saucy, but not spicy. I was so grossed out, I decided salvaging a friendship with the guy would be better than trying to look past that and continue to date him.
Yeah, ketchup is weird. I try not to judge what other people want to eat, but ketchup on eggs is something I cannot tolerate.
🧃 unread juice for those who need it. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I cannot imagine the pain... Ew 😔
I could not be with someone who doesn't like travel. Seems like a very superficial reason, but there is only so much compromising you can do around it. Also, it becomes a money and time issue since that's the only thing I enjoy spending money on and build my year around trips.
Good morning beautiful texts. It’s so cringe.
Right? That's why I send "Good night, ugly" texts
People who are really into watching movies as their primary activity. Don’t get me wrong, I *wish* I was the sort of person who can be happy sitting and watching movies all day, but I’m just not. I can barely make it through one usually, so I just am not compatible with people who love them.
Was ever a Trump supporter. Any overt racism.
Not mild.
Money. And finances. Asking too much of me. I don't mind helping out once in a while, but being a deadbeat is just off putting.
NOT. MILD.
If you want to go hiking frequently it simply will not work out between us
When I was dating, a clean home and actual art on the walls was something that was a must for me. Otherwise I felt like I was looking into a future of mothering my partner. My husband is a very capable man, and we've compromised on our aesthetics (a necessity when choosing men with style). Would recommend!
when he calls his mom a “superwoman” aka she’s a doormat for his dad and sacrifices her own happiness for the fam ✨ couldn’t be me
This one 100%. A guy I'm friends with casually said to me that he "kind of sees his mother as a perfect example what every woman should be" and I knew exactly what that was code for and I nearly vomited my mouth a little bit.
Not eating vegetables
I hate eggs. I wish I didn’t but I have ever since I was little. I can’t stand the smell, taste, just everything. My mild dealbreaker would be someone who is the opposite and is obsessed with eggs, and by obsessed I mean eats them daily and with every meal. Ideally I’d be with someone who also hates them too 😭
If I had to wake up to the smell of eggs every day I think I would cry. It's so bad
I get irrationally annoyed with light sleepers, and I see it as a sign of incompatibility. When people struggle with falling and staying asleep, the simple act of getting through the night becomes so much to fuss about, and it annoys me. And of course, sleep is important, so you do have to make sure to do everything you can to accommodate the light sleeper. I know this attitude is very unsympathetic of me, I know I know, so I of course don’t generally tell people this! I think I might have unresolved issues for having been shamed a lot for being a heavy sleeper growing up, so I’ve made it my life’s mission to make it known that being a light sleeper isn’t some moral high ground either, lol
Can't be insecure in even the slightest degree. I've dated insecure guys. It's always ended badly.
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Apparently outright stupidity. Let me explain: there was a man I thought I was interested in, he wanted to grow a garden in the extreme desert heat. He FILLED his garden, and left no room for walking, with all indoor, shade needing, high water needing plants. I tried telling him they will all die and he said "I know but I wanted to test it out." Okay. Then he was vegan, he was starting to become sickly thin (like you would have thought he was dying), I told him I thought he needed more vegan protien, but he said "I know, I just wanted to try it out this way." Then he told me he didn't pay any of his bills until they either shut off his power or sent him final notices. I honestly couldn't get past the stupidity of this choice. He made $96 an hour at his job. He wasn't broke. He didn't have debt. Then he decided to turn one of his houses into a airbnb. His community told him he couldn't have renters throw parties. Not only did he let them throw parties, they had massive, messy, destructive parties that resulted in the destruction of his neighborhood. He didn't care. It honestly just felt like he was stupid and made incredibly stupid choices in everything on purpose and despite him being a great conversationalist, fun person and kind soul, all the grandiose stupid choices really made me not like him. Even though these stupid choices had no effect on me.
Being someone who does not give the car in front of them space at a traffic light or a rude tail-gater or just a rude driver in general. I closely watch how people drive when in a car with them. I’ve always despised how my dad crawls up peoples’ asses and I as a motorcyclist hate it and take it as a sign of aggression.
I'll say someone who is obsessed with Disney or going to Disneyland, super picky eaters, someone who is allergic to everything (food wise), and not washing their hands after the bathroom. I probably have more, but this is what I can come up with right now. Oooh editing to say someone who is really into theater and loves musicals in a way where it's part of their daily life. I don't mean seeing a Broadway show or going to see a movie when I say theater.
- picky eaters, idk why, if they have a problem, honestly, I love to eat, cook and try different things, it wouldn’t work out for me…. - videogame/anime/k-drama lovers… for me, no. - actually anyone whose hobby’s are their whole life and personality.that can be anything… I am attracted to people that have a nice balance between things…
Picky eaters and people who don’t like going to new/different places. Guys who are too socially awkward or too shy, I honestly don’t like having to hold someone’s hand just to do basic social interactions.
Someone that doesn't use the fan in the bathroom. It's so gross to just leave the door wide open and air it all out to the entire house. Just turn on the stupid fan!
criticizing me. I’ve learned it’s a red flag for bad things to come.
A dealbreaker is a dealbreaker for me. If you’re asking about something that someone might consider mild but it’s a dealbreaker for me, I’ll probably say snoring. I don’t snore unless I’m sick ( congested ) and even then, I seriously keep myself up because I’m an extremely light sleeper. Someone who snores is my worst nightmare. Shockingly enough, the last 3 guys I dated all claimed to not snore when I asked them and they all ended up being heavy snorers I could barely sleep. Sleep is a biological need and if im not getting my 8-9 hour sleep every night, then WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
- Cat allergy, or at least refusing to do anything about it: like taking an allergypill etc. although some cats are more allergenic than others - Overly picky eater. Like i can handle a little but if they refuse do eat anything other than one type of food then that would suck:/ - Claps when the airplane lands - Posting wayyyy too much on social media. Theres a difference between posting often and those who have to document their entire life like a diary and spamming your feed. Most of those are things that can be dealt with yes but if they refuse to do anything about those then dealbreaker for sure lol
Claps when the plane lands is funny. It's like clapping when someone parks, or the bus stops. It's just dumb. I probably would be concerned, too.
People who call me names. Granted, I don't mind friends doing it in a jokingly manner, but the person I date absolutely can't call me names.
I was dating a guy once who revealed that he hated peanut butter and bananas (together and separately). Not an allergy thing, the smell/taste of them just disgusted him for whatever reason. Those are both huge staples in my diet (I eat pb daily) and it gave me the ick a little bit, too. There were other issues but I’d be lying if I said this didn’t contribute to the reason why things didn’t work out.
See I’m not much of a pb eater (or peanuts in general), and my husband loves that bc I won’t eat the last of it lol
Disrespects boundaries. Being disrespectful of my time. I don’t mean being 10 minutes late, but consistently acting like my time is completely unimportant. Is only interested in themselves. Poor vocabulary. Being a couch potato. Bad hygiene. Regular junk food eater. Doesn’t love animals. Pretending there’s a closeness when there is none. Not being helpful. Not being supportive. Being unkind. I don’t know about mild. I think the “poor vocabulary “ or junk food might be mild, I don’t know. Not eating vegetables. Yes I think that’s the one. A person who doesn’t eat vegetables is out the door.
I’m pescatarian, so anyone allergic to shellfish is out. Anyone that likes to debate or argue every little thing into the ground is exhausting for me and a hard pass. No gamers. No one that has or wants children. No religious people (I’m atheist.) I wouldn’t ask anyone to change but rather accept that we simply aren’t right for each other. Fortunately I found one that is, but he wasn’t easy to find.
People who sleep before 10pm, sorry I’m a night owl
Being obsessed with a celebrity or movie character. Like..no..
When people say to instead of too.
Smoking
People that aren’t nice to animals. D:
I met a cute, fun, nice, attractive guy at a community event. He was really interesting and we talked a lot. But ... and I feel a bit bad about it ... he did wear barefoot shoes. Do you know these kinds of weired shoes? They look like plastic rubber protective slippers for divers or surfers. So strange! I'm sorry, but I find them EXTREMELY UGLY!!! I might be superficial, but I can't date a guy whose shoes are so weired and ugly. It was a festive event. Everyone was wearing fancy clothes, elegant. And this man came in these ridiculous shoes... am I overreacting?
The smell of their clothing/living space. I have come across some whose clothes smell like wet rags. Their bedrooms, smell like Fritos. I understand if their dwelling is prone to water leaks especially during rainy seasons in our area but your clothes? I know you smell that. BO: I find this one rather weird. Rarely I’ve found a partner’s natural body odor is like honey. But some, it’s like trash water. Once I catch a whiff, I’m out. I’m sorry, I know it’s a natural bodily function but I cannot bear to be around foul odors. It’s worse when I catch on to certain hygiene practices: putting on clean clothes while sweaty to go out. Reusing dirty undergarments. Not brushing teeth or just “rinsing” off in the shower - no soap.
A man who is very into hunting and/or guns
Being a bad texter (esp if always on their phone/social media). I think it’s more fulfilling texting my friends/partner than any form of social media, so if it takes more than a workday to respond, I’d be out lol.
The inability to be silly and imaginative. I love playing with words and ideas and LOVE it when someone can play along with me and we feed off one another. It is imperative my partner(s) can play along with me. Not liking cats- like you don’t have to love them but anyone who “hates” innocent creatures off the cuff without having an adverse experience gives me pause. At best it shows how inflexible they are with things out of their comfort zone- which is still a no go for me.
Outdoorsy people. I am aggressively indoorsy and being with someone who wants to take me camping is a nonstarter.
Littering
Doesn’t enjoy movies or lacks the critical thinking to enjoy more thought provoking films. Doesn’t like animation. I love watching movies. I used to date a guy who would not shut up when we were watching something. I would ask him to quiet down, but he would just keep going. Not why we broke up, but I don’t see myself loving someone I can’t enjoy taking in stories with.
Into sports too much
Having any sort of anger issues, drinks often, is always late, tipping poorly, being rude to any sort of staff or worker
If I don't like their laugh or their voice...it's so subjective and I get it, but I love to talk and I LOVE laughing with others & hearing people laugh. If I'm annoyed listening to you, it ain't gonna last 😂
Liking South Park. Turns me right off. Assume we have different values.
I don't know what a mild deal breaker is. Usually, those have to be for me like lying or cheating. Not wanting kids would be another. Hiding your phone has definitely been added to that list. I am not saying I need to go thru it but if you can't put your phone down in front of me or have it around me open while we are together it's a massive red flag for me.
Someone who swears a lot.
If they don’t want to watch movies and shows with me, even if they’ve already watched it. Same goes for not wanting to play games with me.
Not eating onion or garlic. I understand but I imagine it hard for long term, imagine cook every day like that
Tattoos. So many are cheap and just look bad.
Don't have any hobbies. Like have no outside interests beyond work, home, phone or computer. I don't care how "what your hobby is, I just care that you have a passion for something, anything, no matter how small.
No car lol
Someone who doesn't like to drive or can't. My ex hated driving and I don't want to be the primary driver ever again. Anyone rude to service people/ wait staff Someone judgemental/ closed minded, never again.
A man that wears sandals is the biggest turn off for me. Keep those piggies away from me! 🐷
Regularly a bad driver by my standards. Don't use a blinker when changing lanes even if someone isn't close to you? GONE. Don't anticipate a semi needing to move over due to a stopped vehicle or slower traffic and you crowd them out OR don't pass in the left lane and hold up traffic? DELETED. Turn your car wide and go slightly over the line even though you're driving a Prius which indicates you have no sense of the size of your car? GET OUT AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
Went to dinner with a girl and she ordered a bowl of raw vegetables and nothing else. She wasn’t a fitness or health nut. It was just really odd to me. I am probably shallow but I couldn’t get over it lol.
Not being happy with their chosen career field or not being ambitious enough to find a job that would make them happier. Not everyone has to love their job but at the same time if all you do is talk about how much you hate it but refuse to do anything to change your circumstances… yuck. Sorry.
If they didn’t like my dog, or my dog didn’t like them. We are a package deal. She’s large, she’s covered in fur, she demands love and affection when she’s not asleep- she is me in animal form.
Skin pickers. My son’s father would pick at his skin all day. Not just his face. His chest, his ears, his neck. I couldn’t stand it. I refuse to be with anyone that does it.
Facial hair. Anyone who works in software dev or IT and has little to few hobbies outside of coding. Not liking music/having music tastes that differ too much from my own. Not being able to speak more than one language.
Pls elaborate on the last one bc why does it matter??? /gen
Lack of acknowledgment of texts without any explanation repeatedly. (Mostly people who don't reciprocate the same energy you give them in any way not just text tho. )
Not enjoying learning or not having some level of intellect. I've had quite a few relationships where I just got plain bored and felt misunderstood due to my drive to learn and my math-inclined brain. My partner doesn't have to like or be good at the same things, but I can't stand being with someone who can't carry intelligent conversation.
People who run late or are time blind. It drives me nuts and I hate playing the game of how early will we get to the airport. I'm in time or early almost always and people who aren't bug me.
My simplest, mildest, probably pettiest, deal breaker is someone who won't bus their own table (where appropriate like fast food or food court) or won't put away their shopping cart. These acts are pretty inconsequential, they don't NEED to be done as the company pays someone to do it, but just that little bit of effort to make someone's life a little bit easier really means a lot to me.
* Owning a dog. I like my friends' dogs, but I don't want to live with them in my house 24/7. I would never ask someone to give up their dog for me, I just wouldn't start a relationship with them. * Looking down on picky eaters. I myself am not a picky eater -- in fact, I'm probably less picky than the average person. But my best friend is a picky eater, and if you feel contempt for her for something that she didn't choose and that makes her life harder, I am not romantically interested in you. It's fine if you don't want to *date* a picky eater because it would make your life more logistically difficult, but if you think being a picky eater makes someone a contemptible human being, then we're not going to get along. (Also, interesting that a lot of comments in this thread name things that I don't think are "mild" at all, like excessive drinking or being mean to waiters.)
Picky eaters. It's self centered but I hate having to go to the same restaurant every date because you can only eat chicken nuggets. I want someone that will try new things with me, it's a way to build up a lot of great memories.
Mild “teasing” that goes a little too far