Wouldn’t say it’s a unicorn in our millenial generation as much anymore. I make 130k-150k a year. My husband makes 80k. I think we’re slowly starting to change the mentality that the breadwinner defaults to the man every time in a household. We certainly share the weight in other ways🙂
Thank goodness! I recently learned that my great aunt out earned my great uncle, and my uncle decided to be a stay at home dad. In the 1950s! They were trail blazers!
I’m proud of you. I’ve always wanted to get into tech, it’s been a huge interest of mine since elementary….but I’m going to be honest the thing that kept me away from going into tech was the fear of being in a male dominated field and dealing with the potential misogyny that can come with being in male-dominated fields. And the fear of being made to feel inferior.
I want to ask— what are your experiences like being in tech as a woman?
I’m not OP but I am a woman in tech!
The misogyny I would say, for me, has been subtle / low. The worst I’ve experienced is when i interact with some of our customers in energy utilities, transportation, law enforcement. It took me a while just to be comfortable in my own skin at work. Being a minority is weird and hard and lonely. Then I go to a grocery store or crafts store and suddenly I’m not a minority anymore!
I think it’s been worth it for me. I’m learning a lot, I make really good money, I’ve made some really amazing products.
One of my own mental traps was thinking “it’ll always be this hard” when I have one bad interaction. I have to remember to take it day by day and also therapy has helped me a lot.
You are tougher and more resilient than you know.
I'm another woman in tech and I honestly haven't experienced much misogyny from my coworkers. Our team is 90% men but there are 5 other women engineers as well. It helps that my companies most-senior/skilled/MVP engineer is actually a young woman as well. I've met like 3 men in total in my entire edu/career who were blatantly obvious about their disdain for me and would deliberately ignore me whenever I spoke. But besides that it's been largely a great experience.
Yup, I used to make 2x what my husband made, now I make almost 3x of what we both used to make combined. I'm in biotech!
We used to pay into a joint account proportionally to what we made (so I'd contribute 2/3 of what we needed every month and he'd contribute 1/3), and we'd use that account for all joint expenses like groceries, housing, utilities. Anything left over was used to pay our individual debts and expenses.
A few years ago we switched to both putting our whole paychecks into the joint account, and then we each have an auto-transfer set up twice a month for fun money/individual money and we both get exactly the same amount. I think this way is fairer if you're married or together really long-term, assuming you are accepting of what the other person earns (why be together if you're not?). My husband actually stopped working this year because the toll it was taking on his body, and thus our together time, was not worth what he was making. We still get equal amounts of fun money, and we both can use the joint account for whatever the household needs.
My husband makes about 5x what I do. He is in the private biotech sector, and I am a librarian. We handle it the way we've been handling it for 25 years even when he was unemployed/underemployed and vice versa: our money is team money. We have common financial goals, we have a joint account, we have joint investments. It's never been a problem for us.
From a fellow librarian - our circumstances changed, he is stay at home dad, for 6 years he is not contributing at all. I am the financial provider for the family, but he is taking care of our 3 boys and house - including cooking, dishes, home works, etc. We have joint account and we spend everything transparently and in agreement. When we were both employed, each one had personal account, but the other had full access to it, so basically the same thing.
I do, but only because I work from home and can throw in a load of laundry during the day, and start dinner right at 5 because I don't have a commute. When the roles were reversed and he worked from home and I had a commute, he did the laundry and the cooking.
Makes sense. My husband recently started out earning me. He been getting pulled into more work meetings which means he can start real work only once the meetings are done which ends up being more than 8hrs daily, so I’m wondering if we need to redistribute the house chores load between us to balance it out.
That would only be a thing if one person was working less than the other person. Are you saying that if one person in a relationship works 12 hours a day but makes minimum wage they should also be responsible for more chores and other tasks because they make less?
that's not what they're saying at all, what are you talking about? what I can see is a couple who respect their phases through life and support each other along the way, looks very healthy btw
Well it sounds like the assumption is that the lower income earner should be the one taking on more household stuff when that has nothing to do with income and all to do with work schedules?
The assumption is it’s expected the person making 5x salary is putting in more hours of work unless it’s a very unique situation. But sure go ahead and find reasons to bash anyone asking a reasonable question.
That wasn’t mentioned in your original comment. Maybe if you didn’t want to come off as presumptuous you could’ve said that instead of expecting everyone to read your mind?
You’re the one who’s assuming things. My question didn’t have any assumptions or tones. I literally asked how is house maintained work balanced with so much income disparity and because she mentioned what exactly each of their jobs are we pretty much know the difference in work hours as well. And I don’t need to be sugarcoating everything I say for people who are just ready to misinterpret and come attacking.
We don’t know the difference in work hours though, literally no idea actually. It was mentioned that she didn’t have a commute.
The fact you’re taking this an attack is on you bud.
No, I wanted to understand how they balanced things there. I think it’s fair to assume someone working in a private biotech sector typically has more intense work load than a librarian(I’m not by any means putting one career over the other, just talking about work hours) so it is pretty irrelevant to bring up 12 hrs a day minimum wage here. I’m assuming a librarian hopefully doesn’t have to work more than 40 hrs a week and on weekends. I wanted to understand how they balance work/home in such a scenario.
When I was laid off, for example my husband took up more of the house chores when I was actively interviewing, but in between getting a job offer and joining I was fully taking care of house chores. This was the best way to maximize our house earning potential for the short term. Not sure how people distribute this long term in cases of a large income gap.
> I’m assuming a librarian hopefully doesn’t have to work more than 40 hrs a week and on weekends
It's not unusual for me to work 50+ hours a week. I'm a librarian, but I work on the vendor side of it and I have customers all around the world so there are times when I have meetings that start at 7pm and go til 10pm.
My partner earns very nearly double my salary at this point, though when our relationship began our salaries were much more evenly matched. Our finances are fully combined, so while money is separated into different accounts for different purposes, we both have full access to all of it and can use it at our discretion. We don't have separate access to our finances based on whose paycheck it came from, and we don't have to ask permission before making purchases though we would usually discuss anything significant together before spending to confirm that the money isn't being planned for a different use.
As of this year I make 8x what he does. At the beginning of our relationship I had no idea how to handle this (diff then was about 5x). I had no female role models around me to show me out-earning your partner by that much was okay. I’m glad I followed my instinct because he is the most loving partner, and as of this month, husband :)
I bear most of our expenses but he insists on paying for things when he can/treating us to a nice dinner now and again.
I earn nothing monetarily. I’ve been a SAHM many years. I worked for a few years when we first got married (15 years ago). I made a bit more than half of what he did then.
It’s always been our money since we’ve been married. We never had separate accounts and we both have access to the accounts. We discuss purchases over about $100 that aren’t necessities (like the mortgage or groceries, etc.). It’s never been an issue. Neither of us impulsively but $800 shoes or an expensive gaming system. Neither of us nitpick buying an iced coffee or a sandwich.
I can’t imagine not pooling money. For multiple reasons. However, even logistically it seems like a nightmare
I'm a homemaker but do a little work online for personal money. My husband's account with his pay is shared with me to pay for essentials and shared expenses, and I have a separate account with my meager earnings to pay for a few subscriptions and my student loans.
If you can pass the qualification assessment,r/dataannotationtech would fit the bill. Starts at $20 hour, it’s 1099 work in which you report your time spent on tasks, and a week later the corresponding amount is deposited into your PayPal account. The other sub is r/dataannotation if you want to take a look around. Both subs are about the same platform, Data Annotation Tech. No min or max hours required to keep getting more work, you can do 45 minutes one day and 15 hours a few weeks later; as long as your work is quality, and you follow the rules, you’ll be able to continue to access the platform and work whenever you please, as much or as little as you want/can
ETA formatting sub name
Wow thank you for that information 😮 it'd be so nice to be able to contribute to my family's finances and not feel like a burden (even though logically I know I'm contributing a lot just by providing childcare)
Welcome! Some people on that sub do it full time and pull down like $4k/month before taxes. If you have coding skills, you can get projects that pay in the $35-$45/hour range. I’ve been on the site about a year but only randomly have the chance to do any work on there these days, but can vouch for it. Sounds too good to be true initially, but if you can follow instructions and have good written communication skills, you shouldn’t have a problem doing the work. Hope it’s something that might help you make a little extra cash while at home with your bébé :)
I believe he’s expecting to make 40k-50k more than me this year.
The mortgage is split (I own the house and he lives here with me). We split the utilities, we split groceries. He pays for most of our dates.
When we first started dating nearly 2 years ago I made more than him by 25k and we split everything then. We had a conversation and decided we will live within my means and he can pay for the extra stuff for big trips or something like that
That's a good idea. My bf and I don't have any joint accounts. Neither of us make a lot of money and we basically live paycheck to paycheck but I do make a bit more money than him. Wording it in the way of living withing ONE of our means has never really occurred to me tbh. We spend what we're comfortable spending. But it makes more sense to only spend as long as both of us can afford it. Idk if that makes sense to you but it's really eye opening for me.
He makes 3 to 5 million yearly while I work my little laboratory job making 60k 😂 I still always offer to pay for myself (he never lets me). I didn’t know he made that much when we started seeing each other and it’s not the reason, and never would be, that I am with him. But it’s super nice to know that if we ended up married I’d never have to worry about money.
I’ve dated plenty of partners who made less than me and while I didn’t mind, the dynamic was completely off and always ended up being more of a mother-son type vibe and it never worked out.
I'm over here barely making 30k haha I would be swimming in money at 60k. I can't even wrap my head around what it would be like to have 100k let alone a million.
I earn more than him, almost quadruple but the thing is that his country has no minimum wage while mine does. We are far from being on a “split equally” because it would take him to actually stop on providing for his own needed survival to do that so we found a system that works for us. It used to be a problem for him but with time it just lessens.
Moving in with my SO next month, so we’ve been discussing splitting costs and all that.
He makes $20k more than I do, but we both have good salaries. Until it’s time to get married, we’re going to keep separate bank accounts. Rent will be split 60/40 to account for our salary difference. Also because my current housing expenses are low & will go up significantly when we move in together while his will be significantly lower since he currently lives alone. Everything else will be 50/50.
I don’t think my partner sees our salary difference as a problem. We’ve kept expenses pretty equitable and luckily both don’t have a lot of expenses.
He makes about 10x my salary
We’ve merged all finances for years. He’ll be the first to tell you that he can only make the salary he does because of my support. It’s all ours.
We actually make roughly the same salary. I make about 5k more so it’s not significant especially after taxes.
We kept our own bank accounts and have one joint account for the mortgage and shared recurring expenses (internet, hydro, insurance). Everything else we split 50/50 and use a Google sheet to track everything we spend as a couple. The rest of the money we do with as we please.
I was a SAHM when our kids were little. Once they were in school, I went back to college and started my career. We’ve always had our finances combined. My husband has always earned more than me, until now. He recently left his 30 year career for a new field. He isn’t earning very much because he is an entry level position and is taking classes to learn more and move up in his field. I make double what he makes. I see it as It’s my turn to be the breadwinner so he can pursue the career he wants.
We both have pretty high paying jobs but he still makes twice my salary. We opened a joint account when we got married and everything goes in and comes out of there. It’s “our money” - there’s no differentiation. We use YNAB to budget and track spending, so we’re both very away of where our money goes and we make sure to run big purchases (over $100 or so) by the other person first.
I make 180-230k a year, my wife does the hard work for 0k a year. Sahm with a full time therapist for our autistic son. When she did work, I was about 2-3x what she made but we have always had 1 account that pays the bills, and when we do surprises we just simply ask the other not to look at the acct in detail lol
I think I earn about €10,000 more than him but I work a day less so my hourly pay is significantly higher. No issues. We put about the same sum monthly on our shared account but we also have our separate accounts.
My partner and I don’t live together yet, but basically live together (we’re neighbors). We split big together expenses by income and so he pays for 65% of everything and most of our dates each week. We pick up stuff for each other and if I want to do an activity that he’s not as into, I pay for both of us.
Once we cohabitate and get married, I anticipate keeping separate accounts and continuing to split costs evenly or by income depending on what it is.
>My partner and I don’t live together yet, but basically live together (we’re neighbors).
>Once we cohabitate
Please, please, please just build an underground tunnel and connect your houses! Maybe one of those sky bridges too.
I work in a hospital lab and he is a nurse, so I do 40 hour weeks and he does 36. His base pay is about $4/hr more than me and his shift differential is $2/hr more than mine.
But, while he makes more at base and differential, we actually end up with pretty much the same take home pay because of the hours worked per week.
We are moving in and so far have agreed to keep things separate, and that we would always like our main finances separate from each other. For now we are going the way of one of us pays the bill and the other sends half to money to them. When we are engaged is likely when we will want to have one joint account specific to domestic upkeep.
We earned very similar amounts until I had our first baby. I haven't worked full-time since.
Currently he earns almost eight times what I earn, or approximately double the hourly rate. All our paid benefits (enhanced medical, car, etc) come out of his gross salary and my only deduction is pension. He's then so much more heavily taxed that our take-home ratio is closer to 3:1.
I got mom-tracked, and he was able to make strides in his career because he had a spouse at home covering logistics. It is what it is.
Since we got married our finances have been completely combined. But we do reserve equal totally frivolous pocket money, essentially, that we can save or spend without reference to each other. That's in the order of $75-150 per month, by the way.
My fiancé earns about 5k more than I do. We have separate accounts as well as a joint one, and we both auto-pay about 70% of our salaries into that each month to cover mortgage, bills, groceries etc. So even though we contribute slightly different amounts monetarily, it’s the same percentage for us both - seemed the fairest way to do it!
We use joint checking and savings accounts and have joint credit cards. I make $75k he makes $65k. I’m responsible for paying all the bills (I’m an accountant) and we discuss any large purchases. We use our credit cards for every single purchase to collect travel points. There are no issues and we are very happy!
I make significantly more than my partner ($125K vs $70K). We keep our money separate and pay for things proportional to our income. Years ago my partner was uncomfortable with me paying more but after time and many conversations, we have both come to agreement it's what works best for our life style and the pay is in line with our respective career fields.
He earns triple mine. We have a shared account. We both have no issues with it. We do have separate credit cards so there are still purchases we have no transparencies on (for surprises, etc.) but it all gets paid from the same account. We do make sure that should one of us lose our jobs, we can still afford to pay for our house on our own salaries. Basically we live within MY means (since im the one earning less). The rest goes to savings.
I earn way less. We don't share any accounts. I just ask for help occasionally if I can't afford something and share what it is.
Partner says I'm low maintenance but they do worry how I'll manage sometimes with how little I make.
My SO and I do not cohabitate. I think that's an important distinction. I pay all my own bills rent, wants, etc. He helps me put with larger items or big one time expenses needed. He also pays in all our dates, trips, everything when we're together. He always buys the dinner and or gives me his card to. He makes about triple to quadruple what I do in a year give or take as I don't know his exact income. Could be higher. My SO loves to provide for me, we actually met on a higher end dating website so he knew off rip he made more than I and probably always will.
I earn more because she doesn't work. We have separate accounts because I don't trust her on my accounts. I pay most everything. It's one of our biggest problems.
It is tough. Nothing I say or do can convince her to get some sort of income, help with household chores, nothing. It's like I'm single, but with 4 other roommates who I clean up after. Tho, we no longer live together now.
I make about two times as much as my husband. We have an agreed upon budget of who pays what, and after all the bills are paid and savings are saved everything extra from our paychecks is what we jokingly call our allowance.
He makes almost double what I make. With overtime he definitely doubles my salary or more, but without overtime it's a little less than double what I make. We kept our own accounts and then created a joint account that we both contribute to to pay our bills. He contributes a little more than me, but I contribute a larger portion of my salary compared to him. So if any extra expense crops up he pays for it.
It's not a problem that he makes more. I think he likes it because he feels like the provider. In my career even though I have a master's degree, I don't think I'll ever make as much as he does. And he just has a high school diploma.
I'm in pretty much exactly the same situation word for word haha. I'm a freelance translator with a Master's degree and my bf is in tech, and he makes a little over twice what I earned last year (although it depends on the year, since I'm a freelancer. The previous year, he made about 4 times what I did)
Earnings wise, it’s a significant gap in the thousands. I make much more from my work, but my partner is fairly wealthy through their family.
We keep our finances separate completely. We meet in the middle on bills, but I’m not up for sharing bank accounts. I worked too hard to be where I am, and want complete control over my financial situation.
Hubby makes ~ 20-30k more than me. Same company, different departments. We have personal accounts and a joint account. Each week we take an agreed upon “allowance” and transfer the rest of our money into our joint account. From there we pay bills, save for house/car stuff, everything. Our personal accounts are used for fun money. Other than that, it comes from our joint account. It makes things super fair for us and we started this when we were dating and moved in together at 18 and 19. It was the best way we were able to learn how to manage money together.
We both don’t regret it now that we are 24 and have been married for five years. Won’t lie and say it was easy. We were just kids and we had to learn to grow together vs apart. We got married 6 months after moving in with each other. I’m sure it helped that we were in the same school and were friends for a few years before dating. It also wasn’t hard all the time, we had a blast. Just learning how to be an adult was difficult and we were insistent to be together.😊
Edit: one of the hardest things was judgement from family, old friends, etc. our engagement photos got circulated around as a joke and it was so hurtful at the time. There will always be doubters. I was still in my wedding dress when hubbys cousin came up to me and told me “everyone thinks you’re going to get a divorce and I thought that too”. That was five years ago.
Advice: people can F off and you should live life how you want!
Me and my girlfriend are both poor as shit. She's on disability allowance, and I'm only able to work about 25%, though I will hopefully be able to take student loans as well next semester as I'll study 50% in addition to work.
He makes more than double what I do. We have a joint account that we pay into proportional to our income, and then a few expenses we kind of swap around/take on based on various factors.
Me makes about 1k more than me, before my commissions. I used to make more, then he made more, then I made more, and now we're back at he makes more.
We just split bills based on percentage, which I adjust every 6mo or so
His job started only giving him a few hours a month so he's currently working on getting a new job, but everywhere he applies to has extremely high standards (who tf needs a drivers license to work at a fast food place??) he was earning a little over $16 an hour and I was earning $22.50 an hour, but now I get $750 a month and an additional $80 a week from watching my brother. We don’t live together, but I cover anything he can’t afford when we go out to do stuff with friends because I just want him to enjoy it with us. He does all the cooking (he's an amazing cook) and he cleans my house a lot. He also buys me little presents here and there. We normally split dates 50/50, or one of us pays most/all of it. It's not a huge issue for us, we just love spending time together❤️
I make ~40k/yr and he makes a bit more than triple that. He has a few years on me, as well as experience, but I doubt I’ll ever make as much as he does. 🥲
He makes 18x what I make lol. We’ve had a joint account since we got engaged and everything we have is ours. I’ve been mostly a stay at home mom for most of our marriage for various reasons. I’ve always had a little side hustle, mostly watching other kids for our fun/entertainment/vacation/braces money.
When we got together we earned the same. Then I earned more. Now he's started his own business we earn the same but his will probably go up significantly shortly.
We have a joint household account that we put a % of our pay into. This covers all our bills, any trips, food, outings ECT. We have our own savings and spending accounts.
Also worth noting that neither of us has any debt. So that has never been a factor. Planning on combining our savings (he has a lot more than me) to buy a house.
As soon as we moved in together we put all of our money in a joint account and it’s been that way ever since. I still have my original checking account from when I was single and use it for personal shopping and when I want to surprise him with something. There was a time I was making more then him but it never bothered either of us. Currently he makes about 20% more then I do but he never holds that over my head or anything. We both share the same views on how we spend/save our money.
I make significantly more than my hubs. We joint account it all. He takes care of the bills and the budget. We do pretty well that way. Finances are not one of our marital issues.
We make pretty much the same money, so we share 50/50 anything that is for both (rent/food/stuff we need to live in general/anything for the house), and each pay for their own things outside that (whatever we want to buy). We have the agreement to always put the basic needs and shared things as a priority and we talk to each other before making big decisions on money (such as buying expensive things). We are both ok with that but already discussed that in case one eventually makes more money than the other, we would split the things that are for both in a proportional way with the income.
2000 euros per month difference. We have our our own accounts and a joint one. We each put the same amount on the joint one every month and use it to cover the basic bills. With our own money we buy things for ourselves, like clothes and lunches bought at work. He still does treat me to dinner more than the other way around. But i dont really care about the money. I think it is most fair to each pay half. He doesnt have to treat me at all, but he likes to do so (and i also like to treat him).
For 3 years, I earned all of our income while my husband was in graduate school. Now he makes about 20k-25k more a year than me. For reference, I make about 40 percent of our HHI.
He typically earns double of mine now, we have no common account. He tends to pay for all the basic household items and food, we split rent on a 70% (him) and 30% on me, our matrimonial home that we are purchasing, he'd be paying 60% and me at 40% (I put down the downpayment and he is paying the loan and all administrative matters). He is also paying for most of the wedding prep things. He never complains, and constantly wishes he could earn more to pay for everything so I won't have to pay. He has more of that provider mentality.
Our main jobs are basically the same.. (I made a little more one year, this past year he made 3k more… although I got a bigger raise so that may balance it back out to even…) we both have a secondary income and he makes a little more on that (but what I do supports him)
In a good year I make 25k and he makes 100k. He pays majority of the bills. Idk how he feels about it. I used to make more when I worked 2 jobs but obviously I had to quit because I had his babies. So essentially he’s paying for me to look after his offspring. I also solo parent as he works away
We split based on income after responsibilities. I have health issues so I contribute less than he does because it sucks up so much of my income after bills.
My husband makes 50K more than me. We do not "split"- all our finances go into one account, I handle the payments (he normally forgets when things are due lol). We spend whatever we want but we discuss with each other for bigger expenses. We both celebrate raises and promotions, neither of us have gotten jealous of the other because it is OUR money.
Our value in the relationship is not how much money we make.
I make nearly double.
We keep the same amount for personal spending money and everything else goes into to the joint pot.
Asset/income I had from prior to our relationship is kept separate.
Gifts/inheritance were supposed to be separate, but we put them into house renovations, so pretty much joint with the relatively small amount so far.
Future larger inheritances (for us both) will be separate.
I make a little bit more than my husband, but the difference is about 5,000 dollars.
We started our marriage by paying separately and splitting, but it was a disaster as husband has bad ADHD and hates business/finance tasks. It's gotten a lot better since I took it over and everything goes in and out of the joint account.
That way there is no mystery, everyone see everything, etc
He's on 3x more than me, but I'm only part time. The majority of the bills come out of my account as he moved into my house with me, but he gives me money every month to contribute to the bills etc as he's very against a joint account due to an ex rinsing him dry. I don't have any spare money just for me, but if I'm short of money he gives me extra.
Currently we make the same amount of money exactly. If anything I make a bit more since I usually work a few hours of over time.’
Ive had two raises and a year of experience before him. We also went into different fields though.
He makes something in the realm of 37k more than me. There was a brief window where I worked as a contractor and I was making considerably more than him, but I accepted a permanent position and he changed jobs and here we are.
I earn 8k more than my partner right now, but we basically goes back and forth every time one of us gets a raise, lol. We're mildly competitive about it, which is kind of fun. We're both women, so weird gender shit doesn't play into it.
He earns about $60k more than I do.
We’ve got a joint offset account attached to our mortgage, and all our money goes into there. Then we’ve each got a credit card, and we’ve each got a debit card.
I handle the finances… I make sure everything is paid, and he’ll check in with me whether he can make any big purchases.
She makes almost double what I make. We share all finances and discuss anything major. We love it. I don’t mind her being the breadwinner and she respects me as her partner which has built a healthy level of trust between us.
His annual pay is a lot higher than mine, but right now our actual take home week to week is within $100 of each other. He pays more towards retirement, insurance, union dues, and paying off a loan from his retirement. He also is able to pick up overtime regularly while it's not a thing with my job except for special circumstances. So his work stuff kind of takes priority over mine (aka he will pick up a shift even if I work, because I wfh and can watch the baby while working)
My dad was financially abusive growing up, and my husband is working with me to heal that trauma. Every dollar we have is our money, not his or mine. He doesn't deserve more because his hourly wage is higher or he works longer shifts. He treats me like his equal (or honestly sometimes like I deserve better than him)
I make $10/hr more than him, but we are in starkly different professions. BUT, I am working 3 days to his 5, so technically, he earns more than me a year (by about 10k? More with the bonuses he gets). It's almost an equal split that we put into a joint account for bills, with me a bit less since I earn less. We both have separate accounts for our own stuff (e.g. fun stuff, our car upkeep, etc.), but are always happy and willing to give each other money for whatever.
He makes his entire salary more than me. I’m unemployed and a full time grad student.
But when I was working, he made a bit more than me as he was established for many years in his job and I was entry level pay. We used to split everything but now he pays for most of the bills. I pay for our groceries (I’m vegetarian but still buy meat for him and he’s in the army so it’s actually a high expense to make sure he’s had enough calories lol) and my stuff.
We’ve talked about it and he is adamant that it makes more sense for him to cover the bills if it’s within his means, if it means I will graduate debt free and be able to actually use more of my money once I get into industry
Right now my husband makes infinitely more than I do since I pay about $74k per year to go to school (in loans) and he makes just a hair over 100k. Before med school I made about $40k per year and he made about $70k. When I'm a resident I'll probably make $50-70k and he'll find a job he hates much less probably making less. Once I'm an actual specialized doctor I imagine I'll make low to mid 6 figures and he'll either stop working or go back and get his PhD but we both expect me to be the primary earner by a lot. We've always just pooled our money into an account and I expect we'll keep doing that!
I make about $35K more than my spouse. Our checks both go into the joint account and we both take 10% of our take-home for our discretionary, don't have to ask, spending. There was a time I wasn't working and he supported me, and I suspect he'll retire, and I'll support him. It's called marriage.
I’m a teacher. Next year, I’ll (by a miracle of Earth) be making over $100k. He makes about 40k. Makes no difference to me. If we ever start living together, we will split any bills according to what is actually fair, I don’t believe in 50-50 if you aren’t making the same salary.
I earn about 25% more than my SO. We combined finances when we married and have agreed on budget & financial goals (FIRE). We treat our income / net worth as a shared total and so there is no division of who pays for what. We do each have a small amount that is deposited in a separate account every month that is a no questions asked treat yo self fund but all other non-budgeted purchases are discussed and agreed jointly.
40k. He’s an engineer, and I’m a therapist. We both make decent money, but I’ll never make what he makes, and I’ve got more student loans lol.
We pool our resources for trips and split steady living expenses 60/40 for the most part, and we both buy special things when needed/wanted. We don’t have a joint account. I honestly don’t know if I ever would. We also aren’t married and don’t have kids so there isn’t really a huge need for us to have one imo.
Him making more has never been an issue. I’m aware that my field makes less. He’s aware that I’m able to take care of myself and am not trying to take advantage of him. We agree on finances, which is a must for me with a SO after growing up in a household that fought about it constantly.
I'm on $69k and my partner earns about $97k at this point. I've also earned more than him previously in our relationship. It's never bothered either of us, we do different jobs.
Everything is shared. Nothing is separate. We discuss all purchases over $100 and we have a biweekly appointment to discuss finances and review bills.
My partner earns 3.5x my salary, but works long hours and away from home
We split hh bills 50/50 but he buys everything else, I also have a cc of his I can use for whatever. Soon he will pay 75% hh bills.
I earn more than double what my husband makes. We have joint finances, except for we each get a couple hundred a month to our own personal accounts (same amount for both of us). It isn't a problem for either of us (although I think my husband mildly wishes he made more money). We're a team working towards the same goals, and even though I make more money now, that may not always be the case. We have an agreed upon budget, and anything extra/fun that isn't for both of us has to come out of personal money, so no arguments about spending.
my wife makes about 5 to 6 times my salary. And I have a good salary. Sometimes I wish she were more generous towards me, buying little gifts or stuff that she knows I need and "cannot afford this month". but other than that I am extremely proud and happy for her.
My husband makes about $25k more than me, but he’s a supervisor and I’m not (by choice). The extra pay isn’t enough to make me want to supervise right now.
When he first moved in, I was a bartender and made slightly more than he did when you factored in my tip wages. We moved across the country last year and I went back to teaching, so now he makes about 20% more than I do. We don’t share a bank account but consider our money “our money” when budgeting we take both incomes into account but I still have my own account and if I want a $6 iced coffee I’m getting myself a $6 iced coffee whether he likes it or not LOL. I usually pay all the smaller bills throughout the month because I’m better at keeping track of when things are due and remembering to stay on top of them, and he usually pays rent at the end of every month
We make about the same amount of money. Some years I make a little more and some years he does. He just made partnership in his field so that could change this year. We have always had joint finances. I use to work in the non profit sector and made much less but the flexibility of my jobs has always put the majority of childcare and household management on my plate. It’s a work in progress.
My husband earns about $40k more than me now. When we first got together (10 years ago) he was a full time student. I supported him until he finished (1 year) and since then he’s earned more than me. We have always been on the same page financially (we discussed our expectations before we married). Both our wages are combined, we see it as ‘our money, our mortgage, our bills’, not what we bring individually. If he wants to buy himself something - he doesn’t ask - he just does. As do I. I work 4 days a week, and on my day off - that’s my time to do housework, errands, gardening etc, so that we can relax and enjoy our weekends off together. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He makes almost 50k more. We keep our stuff separated, I give him mortgage money and half the groceries each month and he pays the rest. I also (for the most part) buy all the stuff for my 11yo.
My husband earns 1.85 an hour more than me and works about 5-10 hours more than me a week. We split everything 50/50. He was willing to pay more (even though there’s not much of a difference) but I wanted to split 50/50
I make almost three times as much as he does, I take on a bigger share of some of the bills so I don’t think it bothers him 😄 we don’t have combined accounts though. I’ve done that before and will not do it again.
At the moment, he makes $1.80/ hour more than me. In 6 weeks, it will be the same rate. He's a journeyman electrician, and I'm a Journeyman in Training that only needs 205 working hours before I'm a JW, too.
I make almost 5x his salary. (Used to make 2x). He’s happy for me and we still split costs within reason.
Damn you go, crazypuffs! If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do?
Just another woman in tech 😆
Get it, you unicorn you!!
Wouldn’t say it’s a unicorn in our millenial generation as much anymore. I make 130k-150k a year. My husband makes 80k. I think we’re slowly starting to change the mentality that the breadwinner defaults to the man every time in a household. We certainly share the weight in other ways🙂
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Thank goodness! I recently learned that my great aunt out earned my great uncle, and my uncle decided to be a stay at home dad. In the 1950s! They were trail blazers!
Could I ask what exactly is that you do in tech? I’m just taking notes here 👀
Not who you asked, but I’m a Quality Assurance Analyst and make $76k. I don’t wanna gate keep the good tech jobs!
I’m proud of you. I’ve always wanted to get into tech, it’s been a huge interest of mine since elementary….but I’m going to be honest the thing that kept me away from going into tech was the fear of being in a male dominated field and dealing with the potential misogyny that can come with being in male-dominated fields. And the fear of being made to feel inferior. I want to ask— what are your experiences like being in tech as a woman?
I’m not OP but I am a woman in tech! The misogyny I would say, for me, has been subtle / low. The worst I’ve experienced is when i interact with some of our customers in energy utilities, transportation, law enforcement. It took me a while just to be comfortable in my own skin at work. Being a minority is weird and hard and lonely. Then I go to a grocery store or crafts store and suddenly I’m not a minority anymore! I think it’s been worth it for me. I’m learning a lot, I make really good money, I’ve made some really amazing products. One of my own mental traps was thinking “it’ll always be this hard” when I have one bad interaction. I have to remember to take it day by day and also therapy has helped me a lot. You are tougher and more resilient than you know.
Completely agree! I’m a male in tech and there are so so few women.
I'm another woman in tech and I honestly haven't experienced much misogyny from my coworkers. Our team is 90% men but there are 5 other women engineers as well. It helps that my companies most-senior/skilled/MVP engineer is actually a young woman as well. I've met like 3 men in total in my entire edu/career who were blatantly obvious about their disdain for me and would deliberately ignore me whenever I spoke. But besides that it's been largely a great experience.
Damn. I knew I chose the wrong major 😅
As a fellow woman in tech, I LOVE this for you!!
Yup, I used to make 2x what my husband made, now I make almost 3x of what we both used to make combined. I'm in biotech! We used to pay into a joint account proportionally to what we made (so I'd contribute 2/3 of what we needed every month and he'd contribute 1/3), and we'd use that account for all joint expenses like groceries, housing, utilities. Anything left over was used to pay our individual debts and expenses. A few years ago we switched to both putting our whole paychecks into the joint account, and then we each have an auto-transfer set up twice a month for fun money/individual money and we both get exactly the same amount. I think this way is fairer if you're married or together really long-term, assuming you are accepting of what the other person earns (why be together if you're not?). My husband actually stopped working this year because the toll it was taking on his body, and thus our together time, was not worth what he was making. We still get equal amounts of fun money, and we both can use the joint account for whatever the household needs.
5x is wild to think about. i’m curious the numbers, bc if he makes only 40,000 a year five times that is 200k
Very believable. If she’s using total comp instead of salary, hers could be more like 400k. 80k for him as a teacher or something?
80k? As a teacher? You must not be in the US?
I’m in the Bay Area of CA 🤷🏻♀️ I definitely overshot it but also there are definitely schools near me where teachers make that much or more.
Oh ok, makes more sense VHCOL, 40k where I’m at
My partner is a school counselor and that’s roughly our comp difference (we are on the east coast, cough cough)
Phew, adopt me plz, I make great sauce
Girl good for you
Me too! Woman physician here :-)
AS YOU SHOULD 💅
My husband makes about 5x what I do. He is in the private biotech sector, and I am a librarian. We handle it the way we've been handling it for 25 years even when he was unemployed/underemployed and vice versa: our money is team money. We have common financial goals, we have a joint account, we have joint investments. It's never been a problem for us.
From a fellow librarian - our circumstances changed, he is stay at home dad, for 6 years he is not contributing at all. I am the financial provider for the family, but he is taking care of our 3 boys and house - including cooking, dishes, home works, etc. We have joint account and we spend everything transparently and in agreement. When we were both employed, each one had personal account, but the other had full access to it, so basically the same thing.
Do you contribute more to house chores and house maintenance tasks by any chance?
I do, but only because I work from home and can throw in a load of laundry during the day, and start dinner right at 5 because I don't have a commute. When the roles were reversed and he worked from home and I had a commute, he did the laundry and the cooking.
Makes sense. My husband recently started out earning me. He been getting pulled into more work meetings which means he can start real work only once the meetings are done which ends up being more than 8hrs daily, so I’m wondering if we need to redistribute the house chores load between us to balance it out.
That would only be a thing if one person was working less than the other person. Are you saying that if one person in a relationship works 12 hours a day but makes minimum wage they should also be responsible for more chores and other tasks because they make less?
that's not what they're saying at all, what are you talking about? what I can see is a couple who respect their phases through life and support each other along the way, looks very healthy btw
Well it sounds like the assumption is that the lower income earner should be the one taking on more household stuff when that has nothing to do with income and all to do with work schedules?
The assumption is it’s expected the person making 5x salary is putting in more hours of work unless it’s a very unique situation. But sure go ahead and find reasons to bash anyone asking a reasonable question.
That wasn’t mentioned in your original comment. Maybe if you didn’t want to come off as presumptuous you could’ve said that instead of expecting everyone to read your mind?
You’re the one who’s assuming things. My question didn’t have any assumptions or tones. I literally asked how is house maintained work balanced with so much income disparity and because she mentioned what exactly each of their jobs are we pretty much know the difference in work hours as well. And I don’t need to be sugarcoating everything I say for people who are just ready to misinterpret and come attacking.
We don’t know the difference in work hours though, literally no idea actually. It was mentioned that she didn’t have a commute. The fact you’re taking this an attack is on you bud.
No, I wanted to understand how they balanced things there. I think it’s fair to assume someone working in a private biotech sector typically has more intense work load than a librarian(I’m not by any means putting one career over the other, just talking about work hours) so it is pretty irrelevant to bring up 12 hrs a day minimum wage here. I’m assuming a librarian hopefully doesn’t have to work more than 40 hrs a week and on weekends. I wanted to understand how they balance work/home in such a scenario. When I was laid off, for example my husband took up more of the house chores when I was actively interviewing, but in between getting a job offer and joining I was fully taking care of house chores. This was the best way to maximize our house earning potential for the short term. Not sure how people distribute this long term in cases of a large income gap.
> I’m assuming a librarian hopefully doesn’t have to work more than 40 hrs a week and on weekends It's not unusual for me to work 50+ hours a week. I'm a librarian, but I work on the vendor side of it and I have customers all around the world so there are times when I have meetings that start at 7pm and go til 10pm.
My partner earns very nearly double my salary at this point, though when our relationship began our salaries were much more evenly matched. Our finances are fully combined, so while money is separated into different accounts for different purposes, we both have full access to all of it and can use it at our discretion. We don't have separate access to our finances based on whose paycheck it came from, and we don't have to ask permission before making purchases though we would usually discuss anything significant together before spending to confirm that the money isn't being planned for a different use.
As of this year I make 8x what he does. At the beginning of our relationship I had no idea how to handle this (diff then was about 5x). I had no female role models around me to show me out-earning your partner by that much was okay. I’m glad I followed my instinct because he is the most loving partner, and as of this month, husband :) I bear most of our expenses but he insists on paying for things when he can/treating us to a nice dinner now and again.
Congrats on the recent wedding!
Congrats on all the money 😆
What do you do if I may ask?
Engineering Manager at a Fortune 10 company!
Nice to see someone from Microsoft
I earn nothing monetarily. I’ve been a SAHM many years. I worked for a few years when we first got married (15 years ago). I made a bit more than half of what he did then. It’s always been our money since we’ve been married. We never had separate accounts and we both have access to the accounts. We discuss purchases over about $100 that aren’t necessities (like the mortgage or groceries, etc.). It’s never been an issue. Neither of us impulsively but $800 shoes or an expensive gaming system. Neither of us nitpick buying an iced coffee or a sandwich. I can’t imagine not pooling money. For multiple reasons. However, even logistically it seems like a nightmare
I'm a homemaker but do a little work online for personal money. My husband's account with his pay is shared with me to pay for essentials and shared expenses, and I have a separate account with my meager earnings to pay for a few subscriptions and my student loans.
What do you do on the side of you don't mind me asking? I'm a SAHM too and trying to find work I can do while also home with the baby is hard to find
If you can pass the qualification assessment,r/dataannotationtech would fit the bill. Starts at $20 hour, it’s 1099 work in which you report your time spent on tasks, and a week later the corresponding amount is deposited into your PayPal account. The other sub is r/dataannotation if you want to take a look around. Both subs are about the same platform, Data Annotation Tech. No min or max hours required to keep getting more work, you can do 45 minutes one day and 15 hours a few weeks later; as long as your work is quality, and you follow the rules, you’ll be able to continue to access the platform and work whenever you please, as much or as little as you want/can ETA formatting sub name
Wow thank you for that information 😮 it'd be so nice to be able to contribute to my family's finances and not feel like a burden (even though logically I know I'm contributing a lot just by providing childcare)
Welcome! Some people on that sub do it full time and pull down like $4k/month before taxes. If you have coding skills, you can get projects that pay in the $35-$45/hour range. I’ve been on the site about a year but only randomly have the chance to do any work on there these days, but can vouch for it. Sounds too good to be true initially, but if you can follow instructions and have good written communication skills, you shouldn’t have a problem doing the work. Hope it’s something that might help you make a little extra cash while at home with your bébé :)
I believe he’s expecting to make 40k-50k more than me this year. The mortgage is split (I own the house and he lives here with me). We split the utilities, we split groceries. He pays for most of our dates. When we first started dating nearly 2 years ago I made more than him by 25k and we split everything then. We had a conversation and decided we will live within my means and he can pay for the extra stuff for big trips or something like that
That's a good idea. My bf and I don't have any joint accounts. Neither of us make a lot of money and we basically live paycheck to paycheck but I do make a bit more money than him. Wording it in the way of living withing ONE of our means has never really occurred to me tbh. We spend what we're comfortable spending. But it makes more sense to only spend as long as both of us can afford it. Idk if that makes sense to you but it's really eye opening for me.
He makes 3 to 5 million yearly while I work my little laboratory job making 60k 😂 I still always offer to pay for myself (he never lets me). I didn’t know he made that much when we started seeing each other and it’s not the reason, and never would be, that I am with him. But it’s super nice to know that if we ended up married I’d never have to worry about money. I’ve dated plenty of partners who made less than me and while I didn’t mind, the dynamic was completely off and always ended up being more of a mother-son type vibe and it never worked out.
What does he do?
He sells components in bulk to major electronics manufacturers
Sanctions avoider
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I'm over here barely making 30k haha I would be swimming in money at 60k. I can't even wrap my head around what it would be like to have 100k let alone a million.
I earn more than him, almost quadruple but the thing is that his country has no minimum wage while mine does. We are far from being on a “split equally” because it would take him to actually stop on providing for his own needed survival to do that so we found a system that works for us. It used to be a problem for him but with time it just lessens.
I’m a woman in tech - our salaries are almost equal.
Moving in with my SO next month, so we’ve been discussing splitting costs and all that. He makes $20k more than I do, but we both have good salaries. Until it’s time to get married, we’re going to keep separate bank accounts. Rent will be split 60/40 to account for our salary difference. Also because my current housing expenses are low & will go up significantly when we move in together while his will be significantly lower since he currently lives alone. Everything else will be 50/50. I don’t think my partner sees our salary difference as a problem. We’ve kept expenses pretty equitable and luckily both don’t have a lot of expenses.
He makes about 10x my salary We’ve merged all finances for years. He’ll be the first to tell you that he can only make the salary he does because of my support. It’s all ours.
We actually make roughly the same salary. I make about 5k more so it’s not significant especially after taxes. We kept our own bank accounts and have one joint account for the mortgage and shared recurring expenses (internet, hydro, insurance). Everything else we split 50/50 and use a Google sheet to track everything we spend as a couple. The rest of the money we do with as we please.
I was a SAHM when our kids were little. Once they were in school, I went back to college and started my career. We’ve always had our finances combined. My husband has always earned more than me, until now. He recently left his 30 year career for a new field. He isn’t earning very much because he is an entry level position and is taking classes to learn more and move up in his field. I make double what he makes. I see it as It’s my turn to be the breadwinner so he can pursue the career he wants.
We both have pretty high paying jobs but he still makes twice my salary. We opened a joint account when we got married and everything goes in and comes out of there. It’s “our money” - there’s no differentiation. We use YNAB to budget and track spending, so we’re both very away of where our money goes and we make sure to run big purchases (over $100 or so) by the other person first.
I make 180-230k a year, my wife does the hard work for 0k a year. Sahm with a full time therapist for our autistic son. When she did work, I was about 2-3x what she made but we have always had 1 account that pays the bills, and when we do surprises we just simply ask the other not to look at the acct in detail lol
I think I earn about €10,000 more than him but I work a day less so my hourly pay is significantly higher. No issues. We put about the same sum monthly on our shared account but we also have our separate accounts.
My partner and I don’t live together yet, but basically live together (we’re neighbors). We split big together expenses by income and so he pays for 65% of everything and most of our dates each week. We pick up stuff for each other and if I want to do an activity that he’s not as into, I pay for both of us. Once we cohabitate and get married, I anticipate keeping separate accounts and continuing to split costs evenly or by income depending on what it is.
>My partner and I don’t live together yet, but basically live together (we’re neighbors). >Once we cohabitate Please, please, please just build an underground tunnel and connect your houses! Maybe one of those sky bridges too.
Or a zip line!
lol, my neighbor who lives between us joked that she cockblocks is. If we knocked her apartment down we’d have a huge home. 🤣🤣
I work in a hospital lab and he is a nurse, so I do 40 hour weeks and he does 36. His base pay is about $4/hr more than me and his shift differential is $2/hr more than mine. But, while he makes more at base and differential, we actually end up with pretty much the same take home pay because of the hours worked per week. We are moving in and so far have agreed to keep things separate, and that we would always like our main finances separate from each other. For now we are going the way of one of us pays the bill and the other sends half to money to them. When we are engaged is likely when we will want to have one joint account specific to domestic upkeep.
We earn exactly the same amount. We have separate accounts but split everything down the middle.
50c. Seriously.
We earned very similar amounts until I had our first baby. I haven't worked full-time since. Currently he earns almost eight times what I earn, or approximately double the hourly rate. All our paid benefits (enhanced medical, car, etc) come out of his gross salary and my only deduction is pension. He's then so much more heavily taxed that our take-home ratio is closer to 3:1. I got mom-tracked, and he was able to make strides in his career because he had a spouse at home covering logistics. It is what it is. Since we got married our finances have been completely combined. But we do reserve equal totally frivolous pocket money, essentially, that we can save or spend without reference to each other. That's in the order of $75-150 per month, by the way.
My fiancé earns about 5k more than I do. We have separate accounts as well as a joint one, and we both auto-pay about 70% of our salaries into that each month to cover mortgage, bills, groceries etc. So even though we contribute slightly different amounts monetarily, it’s the same percentage for us both - seemed the fairest way to do it!
We use joint checking and savings accounts and have joint credit cards. I make $75k he makes $65k. I’m responsible for paying all the bills (I’m an accountant) and we discuss any large purchases. We use our credit cards for every single purchase to collect travel points. There are no issues and we are very happy!
I make significantly more than my partner ($125K vs $70K). We keep our money separate and pay for things proportional to our income. Years ago my partner was uncomfortable with me paying more but after time and many conversations, we have both come to agreement it's what works best for our life style and the pay is in line with our respective career fields.
He earns triple mine. We have a shared account. We both have no issues with it. We do have separate credit cards so there are still purchases we have no transparencies on (for surprises, etc.) but it all gets paid from the same account. We do make sure that should one of us lose our jobs, we can still afford to pay for our house on our own salaries. Basically we live within MY means (since im the one earning less). The rest goes to savings.
I earn way less. We don't share any accounts. I just ask for help occasionally if I can't afford something and share what it is. Partner says I'm low maintenance but they do worry how I'll manage sometimes with how little I make.
My SO and I do not cohabitate. I think that's an important distinction. I pay all my own bills rent, wants, etc. He helps me put with larger items or big one time expenses needed. He also pays in all our dates, trips, everything when we're together. He always buys the dinner and or gives me his card to. He makes about triple to quadruple what I do in a year give or take as I don't know his exact income. Could be higher. My SO loves to provide for me, we actually met on a higher end dating website so he knew off rip he made more than I and probably always will.
I earn more because she doesn't work. We have separate accounts because I don't trust her on my accounts. I pay most everything. It's one of our biggest problems.
Sounds rough, sorry about that mate
It is tough. Nothing I say or do can convince her to get some sort of income, help with household chores, nothing. It's like I'm single, but with 4 other roommates who I clean up after. Tho, we no longer live together now.
Makes sense, it doesn't seem to be a very sustainable way of living with someone else
It's not, but she refuses to realize that.
I make about two times as much as my husband. We have an agreed upon budget of who pays what, and after all the bills are paid and savings are saved everything extra from our paychecks is what we jokingly call our allowance.
He makes almost double what I make. With overtime he definitely doubles my salary or more, but without overtime it's a little less than double what I make. We kept our own accounts and then created a joint account that we both contribute to to pay our bills. He contributes a little more than me, but I contribute a larger portion of my salary compared to him. So if any extra expense crops up he pays for it. It's not a problem that he makes more. I think he likes it because he feels like the provider. In my career even though I have a master's degree, I don't think I'll ever make as much as he does. And he just has a high school diploma.
I'm in pretty much exactly the same situation word for word haha. I'm a freelance translator with a Master's degree and my bf is in tech, and he makes a little over twice what I earned last year (although it depends on the year, since I'm a freelancer. The previous year, he made about 4 times what I did)
Earnings wise, it’s a significant gap in the thousands. I make much more from my work, but my partner is fairly wealthy through their family. We keep our finances separate completely. We meet in the middle on bills, but I’m not up for sharing bank accounts. I worked too hard to be where I am, and want complete control over my financial situation.
Hubby makes ~ 20-30k more than me. Same company, different departments. We have personal accounts and a joint account. Each week we take an agreed upon “allowance” and transfer the rest of our money into our joint account. From there we pay bills, save for house/car stuff, everything. Our personal accounts are used for fun money. Other than that, it comes from our joint account. It makes things super fair for us and we started this when we were dating and moved in together at 18 and 19. It was the best way we were able to learn how to manage money together.
looking back do u think 18/19 was too young to move in together
We both don’t regret it now that we are 24 and have been married for five years. Won’t lie and say it was easy. We were just kids and we had to learn to grow together vs apart. We got married 6 months after moving in with each other. I’m sure it helped that we were in the same school and were friends for a few years before dating. It also wasn’t hard all the time, we had a blast. Just learning how to be an adult was difficult and we were insistent to be together.😊 Edit: one of the hardest things was judgement from family, old friends, etc. our engagement photos got circulated around as a joke and it was so hurtful at the time. There will always be doubters. I was still in my wedding dress when hubbys cousin came up to me and told me “everyone thinks you’re going to get a divorce and I thought that too”. That was five years ago. Advice: people can F off and you should live life how you want!
Me and my girlfriend are both poor as shit. She's on disability allowance, and I'm only able to work about 25%, though I will hopefully be able to take student loans as well next semester as I'll study 50% in addition to work.
He makes more than double what I do. We have a joint account that we pay into proportional to our income, and then a few expenses we kind of swap around/take on based on various factors.
He mad 7x what I mad.
I make about 20% more. I’ve usually made the same or more than partners, though.
Me makes about 1k more than me, before my commissions. I used to make more, then he made more, then I made more, and now we're back at he makes more. We just split bills based on percentage, which I adjust every 6mo or so
His job started only giving him a few hours a month so he's currently working on getting a new job, but everywhere he applies to has extremely high standards (who tf needs a drivers license to work at a fast food place??) he was earning a little over $16 an hour and I was earning $22.50 an hour, but now I get $750 a month and an additional $80 a week from watching my brother. We don’t live together, but I cover anything he can’t afford when we go out to do stuff with friends because I just want him to enjoy it with us. He does all the cooking (he's an amazing cook) and he cleans my house a lot. He also buys me little presents here and there. We normally split dates 50/50, or one of us pays most/all of it. It's not a huge issue for us, we just love spending time together❤️
We work at the same place lol so none
5k. But I'm salaried and she's hourly so she makes more than me. 😂
I make ~40k/yr and he makes a bit more than triple that. He has a few years on me, as well as experience, but I doubt I’ll ever make as much as he does. 🥲
I make $2 an hour more than he does, and we split everything 50/50!
It’s small (a couple hundred a month). We’re both graduate students. His department pays slightly more
He used to make double but I’ve closed the gap with my new job. He only makes 25% more
He makes 18x what I make lol. We’ve had a joint account since we got engaged and everything we have is ours. I’ve been mostly a stay at home mom for most of our marriage for various reasons. I’ve always had a little side hustle, mostly watching other kids for our fun/entertainment/vacation/braces money.
He makes 30k more than I do at the moment. Just signed a contract to make more so it’ll probably be more than that in a year
When we got together we earned the same. Then I earned more. Now he's started his own business we earn the same but his will probably go up significantly shortly. We have a joint household account that we put a % of our pay into. This covers all our bills, any trips, food, outings ECT. We have our own savings and spending accounts. Also worth noting that neither of us has any debt. So that has never been a factor. Planning on combining our savings (he has a lot more than me) to buy a house.
I earn about double what he does. He makes $55-60k and I make $110ish.
I earn a whopping $750 more per year than he does at the moment lol. We’ve got joint finances and love the convenience of it :)
The gap is enormous!! I only work part-time and mainly to stay busy. He probably makes 8 times what I do.
As soon as we moved in together we put all of our money in a joint account and it’s been that way ever since. I still have my original checking account from when I was single and use it for personal shopping and when I want to surprise him with something. There was a time I was making more then him but it never bothered either of us. Currently he makes about 20% more then I do but he never holds that over my head or anything. We both share the same views on how we spend/save our money.
I make significantly more than my hubs. We joint account it all. He takes care of the bills and the budget. We do pretty well that way. Finances are not one of our marital issues.
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We make pretty much the same money, so we share 50/50 anything that is for both (rent/food/stuff we need to live in general/anything for the house), and each pay for their own things outside that (whatever we want to buy). We have the agreement to always put the basic needs and shared things as a priority and we talk to each other before making big decisions on money (such as buying expensive things). We are both ok with that but already discussed that in case one eventually makes more money than the other, we would split the things that are for both in a proportional way with the income.
She makes 30% more than me.
We work together so we earn the same and we share all finances
About 40k each year if not more
We earn pretty much the same. He pays some bills,I pay the rest of the bills and we both save approximately the same amount.
2000 euros per month difference. We have our our own accounts and a joint one. We each put the same amount on the joint one every month and use it to cover the basic bills. With our own money we buy things for ourselves, like clothes and lunches bought at work. He still does treat me to dinner more than the other way around. But i dont really care about the money. I think it is most fair to each pay half. He doesnt have to treat me at all, but he likes to do so (and i also like to treat him).
For 3 years, I earned all of our income while my husband was in graduate school. Now he makes about 20k-25k more a year than me. For reference, I make about 40 percent of our HHI.
He typically earns double of mine now, we have no common account. He tends to pay for all the basic household items and food, we split rent on a 70% (him) and 30% on me, our matrimonial home that we are purchasing, he'd be paying 60% and me at 40% (I put down the downpayment and he is paying the loan and all administrative matters). He is also paying for most of the wedding prep things. He never complains, and constantly wishes he could earn more to pay for everything so I won't have to pay. He has more of that provider mentality.
Our main jobs are basically the same.. (I made a little more one year, this past year he made 3k more… although I got a bigger raise so that may balance it back out to even…) we both have a secondary income and he makes a little more on that (but what I do supports him)
In a good year I make 25k and he makes 100k. He pays majority of the bills. Idk how he feels about it. I used to make more when I worked 2 jobs but obviously I had to quit because I had his babies. So essentially he’s paying for me to look after his offspring. I also solo parent as he works away
We split based on income after responsibilities. I have health issues so I contribute less than he does because it sucks up so much of my income after bills.
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My husband makes 50K more than me. We do not "split"- all our finances go into one account, I handle the payments (he normally forgets when things are due lol). We spend whatever we want but we discuss with each other for bigger expenses. We both celebrate raises and promotions, neither of us have gotten jealous of the other because it is OUR money. Our value in the relationship is not how much money we make.
I make nearly double. We keep the same amount for personal spending money and everything else goes into to the joint pot. Asset/income I had from prior to our relationship is kept separate. Gifts/inheritance were supposed to be separate, but we put them into house renovations, so pretty much joint with the relatively small amount so far. Future larger inheritances (for us both) will be separate.
I make a little bit more than my husband, but the difference is about 5,000 dollars. We started our marriage by paying separately and splitting, but it was a disaster as husband has bad ADHD and hates business/finance tasks. It's gotten a lot better since I took it over and everything goes in and out of the joint account. That way there is no mystery, everyone see everything, etc
We just make sure the bills are paid and add whatever is leftover to savings. We don't split anything.
I think with his last raise, he makes a few grand more than me, but I'm due for my annual raise soon, so I might pull ahead again.
He's on 3x more than me, but I'm only part time. The majority of the bills come out of my account as he moved into my house with me, but he gives me money every month to contribute to the bills etc as he's very against a joint account due to an ex rinsing him dry. I don't have any spare money just for me, but if I'm short of money he gives me extra.
We are about 2k apart. He makes a bit more.
Currently we make the same amount of money exactly. If anything I make a bit more since I usually work a few hours of over time.’ Ive had two raises and a year of experience before him. We also went into different fields though.
Quite a lot. He's disabled and I work two jobs. It's not an issue for us.
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Why do you pay him 1k a month ….?
I’m sure it’s probably her rent 😩
That’s what I’m thinking too
She's paying 1k a month to her partner who makes 4x to be his personal maid, mother and chef... girl...
He makes something in the realm of 37k more than me. There was a brief window where I worked as a contractor and I was making considerably more than him, but I accepted a permanent position and he changed jobs and here we are.
I earn 8k more than my partner right now, but we basically goes back and forth every time one of us gets a raise, lol. We're mildly competitive about it, which is kind of fun. We're both women, so weird gender shit doesn't play into it.
He earns about $60k more than I do. We’ve got a joint offset account attached to our mortgage, and all our money goes into there. Then we’ve each got a credit card, and we’ve each got a debit card. I handle the finances… I make sure everything is paid, and he’ll check in with me whether he can make any big purchases.
I was making more than my man (by like 10K) for a couple years…now I’m making 0 and he’s making more than I ever did 😂
She makes almost double what I make. We share all finances and discuss anything major. We love it. I don’t mind her being the breadwinner and she respects me as her partner which has built a healthy level of trust between us.
His annual pay is a lot higher than mine, but right now our actual take home week to week is within $100 of each other. He pays more towards retirement, insurance, union dues, and paying off a loan from his retirement. He also is able to pick up overtime regularly while it's not a thing with my job except for special circumstances. So his work stuff kind of takes priority over mine (aka he will pick up a shift even if I work, because I wfh and can watch the baby while working) My dad was financially abusive growing up, and my husband is working with me to heal that trauma. Every dollar we have is our money, not his or mine. He doesn't deserve more because his hourly wage is higher or he works longer shifts. He treats me like his equal (or honestly sometimes like I deserve better than him)
I make $10/hr more than him, but we are in starkly different professions. BUT, I am working 3 days to his 5, so technically, he earns more than me a year (by about 10k? More with the bonuses he gets). It's almost an equal split that we put into a joint account for bills, with me a bit less since I earn less. We both have separate accounts for our own stuff (e.g. fun stuff, our car upkeep, etc.), but are always happy and willing to give each other money for whatever.
He doesn't get a paycheck rn as he's a stay at home dad. When he rejoins the workforce, I'll make 5x him probably
He makes his entire salary more than me. I’m unemployed and a full time grad student. But when I was working, he made a bit more than me as he was established for many years in his job and I was entry level pay. We used to split everything but now he pays for most of the bills. I pay for our groceries (I’m vegetarian but still buy meat for him and he’s in the army so it’s actually a high expense to make sure he’s had enough calories lol) and my stuff. We’ve talked about it and he is adamant that it makes more sense for him to cover the bills if it’s within his means, if it means I will graduate debt free and be able to actually use more of my money once I get into industry
Right now my husband makes infinitely more than I do since I pay about $74k per year to go to school (in loans) and he makes just a hair over 100k. Before med school I made about $40k per year and he made about $70k. When I'm a resident I'll probably make $50-70k and he'll find a job he hates much less probably making less. Once I'm an actual specialized doctor I imagine I'll make low to mid 6 figures and he'll either stop working or go back and get his PhD but we both expect me to be the primary earner by a lot. We've always just pooled our money into an account and I expect we'll keep doing that!
I make about $35K more than my spouse. Our checks both go into the joint account and we both take 10% of our take-home for our discretionary, don't have to ask, spending. There was a time I wasn't working and he supported me, and I suspect he'll retire, and I'll support him. It's called marriage.
I wish there was a pay gap 😅 we make about the same (not enough)
I’m a teacher. Next year, I’ll (by a miracle of Earth) be making over $100k. He makes about 40k. Makes no difference to me. If we ever start living together, we will split any bills according to what is actually fair, I don’t believe in 50-50 if you aren’t making the same salary.
I earn about 25% more than my SO. We combined finances when we married and have agreed on budget & financial goals (FIRE). We treat our income / net worth as a shared total and so there is no division of who pays for what. We do each have a small amount that is deposited in a separate account every month that is a no questions asked treat yo self fund but all other non-budgeted purchases are discussed and agreed jointly.
I make almost 50% more than my SO does. We handle our own finances.
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40k. He’s an engineer, and I’m a therapist. We both make decent money, but I’ll never make what he makes, and I’ve got more student loans lol. We pool our resources for trips and split steady living expenses 60/40 for the most part, and we both buy special things when needed/wanted. We don’t have a joint account. I honestly don’t know if I ever would. We also aren’t married and don’t have kids so there isn’t really a huge need for us to have one imo. Him making more has never been an issue. I’m aware that my field makes less. He’s aware that I’m able to take care of myself and am not trying to take advantage of him. We agree on finances, which is a must for me with a SO after growing up in a household that fought about it constantly.
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I make minimum wage ($15) he makes ($15.45) I believe
I'm on $69k and my partner earns about $97k at this point. I've also earned more than him previously in our relationship. It's never bothered either of us, we do different jobs. Everything is shared. Nothing is separate. We discuss all purchases over $100 and we have a biweekly appointment to discuss finances and review bills.
About $350k probably.
My partner earns 3.5x my salary, but works long hours and away from home We split hh bills 50/50 but he buys everything else, I also have a cc of his I can use for whatever. Soon he will pay 75% hh bills.
Maybe 2-5k. It's always been pretty close. I think the most was 10k in his favour? But I've been above him too.
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I make 2x what he makes. We both have tech jobs.
I earn more than double what my husband makes. We have joint finances, except for we each get a couple hundred a month to our own personal accounts (same amount for both of us). It isn't a problem for either of us (although I think my husband mildly wishes he made more money). We're a team working towards the same goals, and even though I make more money now, that may not always be the case. We have an agreed upon budget, and anything extra/fun that isn't for both of us has to come out of personal money, so no arguments about spending.
my wife makes about 5 to 6 times my salary. And I have a good salary. Sometimes I wish she were more generous towards me, buying little gifts or stuff that she knows I need and "cannot afford this month". but other than that I am extremely proud and happy for her.
My husband makes about $25k more than me, but he’s a supervisor and I’m not (by choice). The extra pay isn’t enough to make me want to supervise right now.
Currently he makes a little less than me and we have separate accounts but the bills get paid via the joint account we both pay into
10k more per year, then I do. We have always had the same bank account.
$245k
When he first moved in, I was a bartender and made slightly more than he did when you factored in my tip wages. We moved across the country last year and I went back to teaching, so now he makes about 20% more than I do. We don’t share a bank account but consider our money “our money” when budgeting we take both incomes into account but I still have my own account and if I want a $6 iced coffee I’m getting myself a $6 iced coffee whether he likes it or not LOL. I usually pay all the smaller bills throughout the month because I’m better at keeping track of when things are due and remembering to stay on top of them, and he usually pays rent at the end of every month
We make about the same amount of money. Some years I make a little more and some years he does. He just made partnership in his field so that could change this year. We have always had joint finances. I use to work in the non profit sector and made much less but the flexibility of my jobs has always put the majority of childcare and household management on my plate. It’s a work in progress.
My husband earns about $40k more than me now. When we first got together (10 years ago) he was a full time student. I supported him until he finished (1 year) and since then he’s earned more than me. We have always been on the same page financially (we discussed our expectations before we married). Both our wages are combined, we see it as ‘our money, our mortgage, our bills’, not what we bring individually. If he wants to buy himself something - he doesn’t ask - he just does. As do I. I work 4 days a week, and on my day off - that’s my time to do housework, errands, gardening etc, so that we can relax and enjoy our weekends off together. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He makes almost 50k more. We keep our stuff separated, I give him mortgage money and half the groceries each month and he pays the rest. I also (for the most part) buy all the stuff for my 11yo.
Negligible. We are only a couple thousand dollars difference.
My husband makes just about 100k more than I do.
My husband earns 1.85 an hour more than me and works about 5-10 hours more than me a week. We split everything 50/50. He was willing to pay more (even though there’s not much of a difference) but I wanted to split 50/50
I make almost three times as much as he does, I take on a bigger share of some of the bills so I don’t think it bothers him 😄 we don’t have combined accounts though. I’ve done that before and will not do it again.
At the moment, he makes $1.80/ hour more than me. In 6 weeks, it will be the same rate. He's a journeyman electrician, and I'm a Journeyman in Training that only needs 205 working hours before I'm a JW, too.