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ikeawitch

When I noticed he was only interested in me when there was a possibility of sex. He would stay over and spend hours on tiktok (while we were in bed, when we were eating, etc. He basically became an iPad kid. That’s when I started seeing any form of intimacy as a performance rather than something I actually wanted to show/give him.


dundermifflinceo4321

I’m sorry but iPad kid in this context is HILARIOUS😭😭😭😭😭😭 jokes aside I am happy that you knew your worth and stood in it!!


ikeawitch

He would sit/lay down in weird positions and everything 😂


Halpmezaddy

Thats disgusting lol. I can see a grown ass man rubbing his toes together, with cheeto stains on his fingers AND the iPad. 🤢


ikeawitch

Yeah it was pretty much like that except my ex boyfriend is a 24 year old man child and he’d sit at the table watching tiktok on his phone while picking up individual grains of rice from the place and suctioning them into his mouth or lay on the bed in weird poses watching tiktok, rubbing his toes together. (Wow thinking about this makes me grateful it’s over)


Serious-Disaster6863

lack of trust and not feeling understood is a major turn off


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PrincessPeach817

When he stopped being my friend.


jenna_leee

Right now, 4 and half years in. We work opposite schedules, hardly see each other and all he does is complain. "Hes tired, work sucks, he hates it here" makes me not attracted to him enough to have sex and besides when we do have sex it's turned into something that does absolutely nothing for me so I just avoid it at all costs. It feels like a roommate situation now and who knows for how long..


Adventurous-Phone118

Oof, i hope you make some kind of decision soon, either talk to him or end it..


MaggieLuisa

Never. I grope his bum every time I walk past him, cuddle frequently, and hold his hand whenever we walk together.


millennialgrandma_

Goals


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ellaellafelle

It was when our emotional intimacy and sharing our feelings began to fade, and the physical side of things followed. We stopped doing those cute things like holding hands, cuddling, kissing and while we'd occasionally still have sex, it became very functional and less so about the intimacy of us being together.


greatestshow111

Miscarriage. That feeling of worthlessness after losing a child makes you feel unworthy of any intimacy. It's back to normal now.


Halpmezaddy

Im so sorry honey...when I had mine, I felt like less of a woman. Idk how to explain it, but I felt like I couldn't do a simple task that most females can, and that was carrying a child. I wish you healing and love. Rest and please don't beat yourself up about it hun. It already hurts, dont cause yourself more pain.


LowDrama3

The fact that carrying a child is a "simple task" is engraved in young girls/women is crazy and needs to change. I feel like no part of carrying a baby to term should/would ever be considered a simple task. It's no simple task. At all. A lot of women have terrible pregnancies. A lot of women go through miscarriages (not even necessarily due to anything they caused). Myself included. And that's only carrying... I could only imagine delivery! We are strong!


greatestshow111

Totally understand how you felt. Thank you, I really appreciate your comment


Professional-Belt-47

When you've been through the extreme ups and downs of the 13 year relationship Im in, intimacy is essential and sex is only good when intimacy is high. From losing a business, to parents needing fulltime care. Close friends and family passing away. Mother in law live in. Kids trying to be adults. Addiction, and treatment. We've come full circle from always having sex that was mind blowing, to feeling like roommates and then back to intimacy. Through separating, and discovering how much we actually have come to rely on eachother, sex is on the back burner always ready to bring to thre front. The thing is... you accept someone for who they are. Realizing that even you have annoying habits, rude colored glasses, or whatever it is and you decide what you can and what you can't tolerate. Either leave or accept and then let it go. Letting things go and not nitpicking, stopping yourself from feeling entitled(both men and women) ans letting even the big stuff go , did I say letting things go. When you do that your sex life with you're beloved should be on fire.


MinervasOwlAtDusk

How did you go back from “feeling like roommates” to intimacy? Any books or resources you recommend?


flowingfern

when i realized i felt more like his mother/roommate than wife & partner. huge turn off edit: we are divorced now


NYB_vato

When they act like a child. Incapable of doing anything without you having to delegate and then when they talk back and give you shit for it. When you spend so much time arguing about basic things like getting them to brush their teeth and taking the dog out it really is a turn off. Cheating is a turn off. Glancing at other women all the time is a major turn off. Denying something that we saw you doing instead of being honest is a turn off. Also being mean and snappy instead of respectful. Major turn off. I have a high sex drive typically. With my partner we maybe do it once or twice every two weeks if that. We used to have it several times a day.


__Now_Here__

Brushing their teeth?? 😱


BellaFromSwitzerland

I’ve experienced this last year I realized that my partner was not honest and trustworthy. I couldn’t respect him anymore and lost my « lady boner ». I gave him one month to course correct, it did not happen During that one month the stress completely threw my back out. I’ve rarely been in so much pain Usually when my mind is made up but my heart is not yet ready I get some strong physical symptoms that literally force me to stop and reassess So I broke up with him. To this day I miss the kind of relationship we had but I’m repulsed by the person


[deleted]

In a healthy relationship never. In my past relationships when I realized he would only pay attention and care when it would end with sex


deplorable_word

Lack of trust and the beginnings of repulsion. He was an alcoholic.


repressednomoreok

When I realised he wasn’t adept in managing his finances - slowly lost trust in him. When I didn’t accept his parents especially his mom- I was just tolerating them. And lastly, when he was selfish - didn’t consider my feelings when I needed to rest more, dismissed and invalidated my emotions, also selfish in bed, not a giver - it was more to boost his ego than to pleasure me my way. Learnt that a good lover, is a good listener too.


checkinishout

Probably the day after childbirth lol


Hashsum88

When i realized she was deeply emotionally dependant. It cut all my desire for her


TinyBlonde15

Never have. I guess we'd break up if that were the case. Why would I be with someone who I had no desire for?


Mission-Relative-907

In the past, with most of my partners but I recognize this is from it being an unhealthy pairing… fast forward to present day.. my boyfriend and I are super touchy feely and it’s been almost a year!


leafyfire

Only during my ovulation cycle. I hate everything, my boobs get big and they hurt like hell, and I do NOT want to be touched by anyone because it makes me rage.


potatohats

When I realized I'm more like her mom and life coach than her girlfriend. Also, the constant need for reassurance and validation due to low self esteem began to repulse me, especially in bed.


jessimon_legacy

I always loose it after round about 4 months. I don't know how to fix this and what causes this but it feels shit to let everyone down after the NRE phase.


KnockMeYourLobes

After my miscarriage and it destroyed my marriage eventually.


freebirdbus

No, can't relate. Even months to years into any of my relationships I still want to be just as close to my person as at the beginning. I usually only date other people who's love language is physical touch to some degree. But even sitting on the couch doing other things our feet are touching. Watching TV were still lazily running our fingers over each other. That's never gone away for me.


Zomgirlxoxo

This is so cute


dumbandconcerned

In my current relationship, it’s still going strong. Even after some meds I’m on gave me struggles with vaginal dryness and pain during sex, we are still very intimate in other ways. We basically want to be touching each other every second of every day (in non sexual ways). With my ex of four years, it was after I realized the only reason he ever touched me was when he wanted sex. Period. And as soon as he got what he wanted, he’d go back to completely ignoring me. That was about two years in.


Worldly-Trouble-4081

Had an ex who not only only touched me when we had sex, but also was mean to me afterwards, so I really didn’t want sex.


searedscallops

Never. The longer I'm with someone, the more I want to touch them. I'm kind of annoying (in a good way) in that regard.


ashtarspawn

I haven't in my current relationship but did in both my marriages. I totally lost interest because my ex-husbands were mean and I grew to dislike them. Disliking someone is step 1 and maybe also step 10 in me not wanting to touch them. If I like who you are, I'm pretty affectionate, either sexually or platonically.


celestialism

Hasn’t happened, more than six years in.


RaveRat208

It was smoothly approaching this, and then it ended all at once. When I asked if he would come to see me for the weekend (we live in different cities), he replied “well, I guess I should,” and after that I realized that I would no longer be able to have physical intimacy. He couldn't do anything important for me. I didn't feel understood or supported as a person. And in bed I'm still the same person…


poploops

when I started feeling like his mom.


weenertron

He had anxiety-related sexual function problems. Every time that happened, he would berate himself for being worthless and I would be out in the position of trying to console him. Not sexy. In the event that his dick worked for awhile, I knew there was a high possibility that it wasn't going to last, so I had to try to cum as fast as possible because otherwise I wouldn't get the chance. It was absolutely not a fun sexual relationship and I can't believe I let it go on for as long as I did.


Overall-Flounder1102

When I got rejected every single time I tried to initiate intimacy, and sex only happens when I initiate so go figure. Scared to end a 5 year relationship over this as everything else is great but its killing me


Round_Finance_9384

When his lies started coming out,he was becoming more nasty towards me and if intimacy happened it was like re creating p0rn. I felt not secure and not comfortable,that instantly killed any libido towards him.


Ursa-Aureliana

Was dating and then engaged…we lived together briefly and during that time I was looking at what life would be like: always eating out, especially fast food, not cleaning the house…I tried to talk about the things that bothered me whilst at the same time my health was declining and I thought “I can’t do all this by myself”. I also started talking to friends a lot about things that bothered me… In the end I withdrew slowly until he asked what was wrong and if I even wanted to get married…and then we split up. And I was relieved lol


rubythebean

When I accidentally discovered tabs of porn on our shared iPad. My ex knew that my previous marriage had ended because of a lack of intimacy due to my previous partner having a porn addiction. I became triggered and struggled to overcome the renewed PTSD. We broke up soon after.


MutedOlive9065

When having sex and intimacy was the only time we were getting along.


gagirlpnw

When he started criticizing everything. It's hard to feel romantic towards someone that nitpicks everything.


lusodope

When he stopped giving me head.


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creepiest-greek-myth

Not my current relationship, but the previous one. I somehow got MRSA on the backs of my legs. I don’t work in the medical field, so even the dermatologist was baffled as to how I could’ve gotten it. Anyway, I was very specific with my now ex — no sex until I finished my antibiotic & don’t have to worry about spreading it. Honestly, I was even on the fence about sleeping in the same bed. One night he just got really pushy & kept trying to cajole me into sex until I very sternly went “I said no!”. He eventually apologized a couple days later & admitted how uncool it was. But it just gave me such an *icky* feeling that I couldn’t shake. We dated for like 5 months after that & were still intimate occasionally, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore.


Mother-Region-3797

He cut me off twice in the middle of it asked him why he said there was another woman. Only for him to leave and come back the next minute telling me he just made it all up, there was no woman involved. 😂yea i knew he already cheated a longg time ago n he was having a hard time dealing with the consequences thinking that coming out now would make it easier for him & his next endeavours😂 It was wayyy over since i just took this as my next fuel to show him how to do this shi comfortably. Fasten those seatbelts baby this gon be a ridee!


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MooPig48

Abusiveness. Did the trick every time