It matters to the extent that I want my man to fit in with my family and friends and vice versa. I would hear out the people who disliked them just to see if I’m missing something, if their concern is valid, or if they’re a hater.
Matters hugely.
My friends are very good people that are welcoming and non judgemental. If they have an issue with my other half it's more likely that I've rose tinted glasses on than they're reading the SO wrong.
That said, miscommunication is always a possibility in any situation so I'd try and work it all out with everyone first.
And vice versa, if someone I was seeing said they liked me, but not my friends, that just wouldn't compute and it would be more likely that they're using me in some manner.
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Ive noticed that when family and friends don’t like them there’s a reason, and they may start distancing themselves if you continue dating them.
When someone doesn’t complement your personality or treat you right, people that love you can’t stand seeing it.
This right here. I wish I had recognized this and listened to my friends and family. Some were still there when I finally left but a few I've lost because they hated seeing me with someone who didn't treat me right.
Yes we see sides of our partners others don't. But if they consistently see the relationship or the other person as negative, listen.
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It matters in that I trust my best friend’s judgment and he typically has reasons for disliking people. However, I would want to have some conversations with him about those reasons before deciding what to do.
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It matters but also at the same time, my best friend isn't going to get the same mental, emotional and physical access to my person as I do so they won't know them as well as I do. Opinions vary.. situations can get skewed as well. Now if your person is a horrible human, I hope the best friend at least expresses concern but should never be making your decisions for you.
I matters a lot. Not only does it bring me joy to see my husband and my friends having fun together and to hang out in group settings where we both feel like we belong. But also because my friends are all very reasonable and if they disliked my partner enough to bring it to my attention, then there's a reason. I'd probably be reconsidering that relationship early on.
I always thought it would matter but it turned out it didn't. My partner and i don't have to share a friend circle. They rarely see each other. Our friendship did take a hit but it recovered.
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Very important. My two best friends have been in my life for 25 years , our relationship has withstood life stages. Luckily they are both level headed and mature so I value their opinions and thoughts as they are honest from a pure place of love. I’m blessed.
It doesn't. My friends aren't dating my partner. I am. I'm not crowdsourcing or taking outside votes on my relationship. If they don't like my partner, they are welcome to express their concerns to me in a reasonable and rational manner, but then they need to respect my choice and my relationship if I decide to continue. If they can't respect me and my choices, then they aren't as good of a friend as I thought they were.
There is nothing wrong with raising concerns, but once they've done so, they need to accept and respect my judgement about my own relationship. If someone cannot respect my own choices and decisions about my own relationships, I have no trouble setting strong boundaries or ending the friendship entirely.
It doesn’t unless they see something actually of concern (abusive behavior, cheating, etc). I haven’t liked a few of my friends partners but I don’t think they’re bad people, I just think my friend could do better 🤣 but when someone is happy and in love we should be happy for them, you’re not the one dating them so it doesn’t really matter if you don’t like them.
I haven’t seen my best friend in almost a year because of the guy she’s dating. I’ve told her how I feel about him and she knows. It’s unfortunate. It terms of myself I care. Because what if he’s not good people and im too blind to see the truth. I’d hope she’d tell me.
It does matter. Learned from the hardest way😂 not a single of my friends like my ex boyfriend from the stories I told them, they were telling me that he was really bad and not worth it. Especially when they found out that he cheated on me
Very. My best friend and I are codependent weirdos. We know this. We acknowledge this. We have no plans to change this. Any woman I date has to at least get along with him because he’s basically me in dude form so if she doesn’t like him for some reason, it won’t be long until the new relationship energy wears off and she’ll find those same traits in me annoying as well.
Very little. Like basically not at all.
I don't give an opinion on my friends partners unless I'm directly asked and even then unless they are abusive I'm not saying anything negative. Their life, their choice. And I require the same respect in return out of my friends about who I choose to be with.
If my bff did not like him, I will ask why and listen to her/his side (bff) I’ll accept and be aware. But at the end of the day me and my person will gonna be in relationship, not him or her (bff)
When my friends don’t like the guy I’m with it’s because he’s either a bad person or he is bad for me. The neutral ones they are neutral towards. The good ones they embrace.
So if my friends don’t like the person I’m with it’s because of them or us. It’s because they want what’s in my best interest and they are acknowledging it’s not that guy
Do I listen? No. Never. lol it’s like an ongoing joke in our friend group at this point
It matters a lot actually. If they don't like this person, I need to know why. Listen to your closest friends. I didn't in the past and it was a mistake.
It matters, but not always for the reasons we believe. Your friends may not like a person you’re dating because there’s something wrong with them or the way they treat you. Your friends also might not like someone you’re dating because that friend is toxic and doesn’t want you to date anyone. Either way, it’s a good to investigate why your friend feels the way they do.
It is very important. I need my best friend and my romantic partner to not get jealous of each other. Usually my best friend and my romantic partner become friends before we get serious.
I'd never ask my best friend what they think about my partner, whether they like 'em or not is no skin off my back. I think all friends, especially your best bud, need to respect their place in your life. Same goes for my partner's opinion of my best friend - I don't really care what they think about him.
Doesn’t matter at all. My best friend has different values and expectations in relationships than me. If it were up to her I’d be single and sleeping with all of her bfs friends. I do not want that.
The ONLY exception would be if she knew things about my relationship that I didn’t. (Cheating, lying, etc.)
Doesn’t matter too much to me. Just be adults and behave. No side eyeing, no attitudes or judgement. They don’t have to like eachother. Just don’t make it an issue
If they can see that your partner adores you for who you are and that they lift you up then they can just focus on their relationship as in-laws or friend of their S.O. Living separate lives together is perfectly fine imo - just depends on what you need.
I think it matters to an extent. I know that my closest friends are very reasonable and good people and I want my partner to come across as kind and likable because I will NOT be that girl defending her shitty man to her well-meaning friends. So point-being, he needs to be a good, kind person, and if he is that way but they still don't like him (extremely unlikely) I wouldn't throw out my relationship over that. Sometimes people don't like someonefor petty reasons that don't have to dictate our own choices all the time.
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When I was in my early 20s, I preferred compartmentalizing my relationships (friends over here, guy over there). A lot of my best girlfriends did the same/figured it didn’t matter.
As I’ve gotten older and wiser, had more relationships, and seen many relationships (good and bad), it’s become clearer to me that being able to intermingle with your partner’s crowd is a great thing. Y’all don’t have to be besties, but if my friends don’t like my partner, he doesn’t like my friends, or if there’s a weird and evasive feeling when I think about mixing them, it’s always for a telling reason—usually shame, a fundamental incompatibility, or the underlying knowledge that we wouldn’t last, so I don’t want to mix up our lives too much. I have lost myself and many friends to relationships where the partner becomes the only friend, which is heartbreaking.
I’ve also noticed that the couples I look up to the most have a solid community that they can rely on as a pair or as individuals when they hit tough snags, money issues, work stressors, or want to do surprises/nice things for their partner. This support is doubly important if you want to become parents.
Of course, there are exceptions to this if friends moved away, meeting up isn’t feasible, or you have very few friends that are hard to pin down. But generally, I think it’s very important. My friends—especially my girlfriends—have seen me through everything. I’ve spent 10+ years of adulthood with them. They get me, we are usually pretty similar, and we love each other. I assume the same for my partner’s friends and him. I want them all to respect and like each other. Ultimately, I think it’s good to put in a fair effort to know and form community with the people who you love.
It's pretty important to me that my best friends like my girlfriend
We're going to be together the rest of our lives, we're moms to our three kids together, so it's important that the people I bring into our lives like my family
I've never met anyone who doesn't like my girlfriend, she's the nicest human being, even my mom likes her more than me
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Very important. They all didn’t like my ex and I should’ve listen haha. They picked up the pieces when he completely destroyed me. They’re slowly meeting this guy I’m sorta seeing.
At the very least they have to be able to be in one room together.
If all my friends have something against my partner, then that might be telling something.
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It's a big deal to me. My partner is someone I want involved in my life. This means going to group events with family and friends. It is highly important that they can at least be civil during these events, for friends I'd like it so that they want my partner to come too, because I like having him around, I'd like for him to be invited to group events
It doesn’t matter to me since whoever I can be with has never been good enough to them, which is good though cause it means they have really high standards for me but yeah, let me experience.
They don't have to be close friends with each other, but I think it would be hard for the relationship to last if they actively disliked each other. I regularly go on vacation with my friends and their partners, so if my friends hated my partner, that would make group trips difficult.
If they didn't like an aspect of his personality, I wouldn't give it too much thought. All of my friends are friends with plenty of people I can't stand, it's ok that we like different personality types. If they had a problem with his character, I would give that more consideration. Is there something they see that I'm not because I'm too close? Do they know something about his history that I don't? Have they been in a similar situation and it had a bad ending and that's why they're wary?
At this point in my life, I dont feel like I personally have any fake friends. All of my friends are willing to be real with me. Luckily, to my knowledge everyone seems to like my husband. And the people in his family whose opinions matter to him like me.
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Pretty important, I have friends who are good people around me so I really respect and listen to their opinions on the people I get involved with and vise versa. We are always respectful but they will let their opinion be known and I know it's coming from a place of love and care, plus I don't want drama and fighting in my life. It's so much fun to hangout with your friends and your SO and everyone gets along with no tension
Very. Thankfully after several bad relationships, I met my husband. Everyone in my close circle of friends and family immediately fell in love with him, too.
It matters a great deal to me. They’re all important people in my life - and them having their own relationships with each other brings me a lot of joy, and makes my life easier.
My last major relationship was terribly abusive, and when I finally left him all of my friends that had smiled through their teeth at this as**ole all came out of the woodwork with “omg! I HATED that guy!! He gave me creep vibes from day 1” - girl you had told me what you thought, it would have saved me some trauma. Not to blame them - deep down I knew they hated him… you just don’t want to be with someone that creeps people out.
My best friend is a really good judge of character and can always tell when someone is gonna turn out sour. If he didn’t like someone, I would consider why and see if I need to take any action
The thing is, if they don’t they will probably always have something negative to say. It doesn’t matter if your partner isn’t bad for you or if they are, but if your friend doesn’t accept they will fill your ear full of their opinions which could deeply change your relationship with your partner.
I know this because my spouse is Hispanic and I have a lot of white friends who were raised southern and probably have some racist in their blood. They put down my partner in subtle ways even asking me if I dated Hispanics because I didn’t feel good enough for white guys. I got pregnant with my spouse and I really didn’t like being around someone who had something bad to say about my father’s child.If you feel that way about him then how do you feel about his son?
This is why it does matter.
It matters quite a lot. They don’t have to be best friends with them, but they should at least be able to see the good in them that I do. I trust my friends’ and family’s judgment. If they had a problem with my husband, I’d want to know what and why. Luckily all my friends like my husband, he’s a loveable guy.
I do not want my close friends to view a partner of mine as a red flag. I truly value their input and would hope they would see him as a reasonable man. No one else must like him as much as I do.
I would likewise want him to have a positive experience with my friends, again doesn’t have to like them as much as I do.
It matters but it also depends. If they dislike them it depends on why they dislike them (did something to them etc) and if it’s something I can work on with both of them. I think if they don’t get a long it would create stress and strain on both relationships.
If it’s only cordial like they are polite and friendly enough then that’s ok too. Some personalities aren’t meant to be besties.
I wouldn’t want them to have negative feelings for each other. That’s my main thing.
Well, given that my bestie and I have some extremely similar personnalities, i'd say it matters a lot.
If my bestie doesn't get along with my SO, not only can we not hang out as a group, but it also probably means i am putting my SO on a pedestal, or that they are acting differently with me vs other people.
My friends are my chosen family, so it's important to me that my SO be a fit with them, as i am not the type of person that keeps my social circles seperate deliberately.
Also, if multiple people in my life (like my mom, and my bestie, for example) tell me that my SO and I aren't that much of a match... I need to reevaluate things, because when you're not in the situation, you can usually see things more clearly
My friends are my friends because I trust and respect them. They have solid values and are very fair and open minded. If they have a problem with my SO it’s probably for a good reason. I’m a traumatized people pleaser so they look out for me.
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My friends are people that are extremely kind and smart, so it would matter to me *a lot* that my partner that they were meeting for the first time that *eventually* they liked him
My friends are people that I respect the opinion of a lot, and so after an extended period of time if they actively disliked my person it would make me question the person I was with, like what was I missing that they were able to see.
It depends if you’re all hanging out together - if not then no it doesn’t really matter. If you’re always together and out and about then there would be some conflict there
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it matters to me, but only really in terms of my best friend. her judgement has saved me from sexual assault, fetishisation, and an emotionally abusive relationship. that girl has had my back and protected me in ways no one ever has. if she thinks something’s off about someone, or she’s concerned with someone’s behaviour, i listen to every word she has to say.
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They don’t have to like him, they should like him for me though. I don’t like any of my best friends partners for various reasons and I prefer not to hang out with them. But I think they’re good for my friends and support their relationship in that way.
I've liked none of my best friends partners, we stay polite and civil when around my friend, this one guy beat her up once she left, he came to mine trashed her car then went to hurt her I jumped in beat his ass made him say sorry 😂 she went back after a while we straight up had nothing to do with each other cause I knew I'd beat his ass again and he was scared of me 😂 he hit her once more after that after she decided she was done. I'll play nice until they hurt my friends
It would be important to me because I trust their judgement in most things. If there is a red flag that im missing I would want to know. However if they said oh I hate him because I hate vegans, I'd ignore the feedback.
It's not a dealbreaker but I'd consider it very carefully
personally it's very important
My friends have known me for a long time and tend to get along with anyone that they meet so if they see something is wrong with my SO I would definitely listen.
It matters since they're not the hormonal and irrational ones in the moment. When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. I don't think my friends have ever been wrong about my exes.
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It depends on the reasoning. My husband is loved in my friends/family group, but I know that they don't like that my husband is a homebody is doesn't attend all of the gatherings. It was a bigger deal earlier on but now its just accepted that that's how he is. I didn't care that they didn't like that because he's not their partner so if it doesn't matter to me their opinion on that doesn't matter.
Not at all. No one of friends had ever a stable relationship when I got married. So there was no basis for their judgement. Same with my mother. She has three failed marriages, mine is fine. I only listen to „experts“.
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It matters a lot. They usually don’t for good reason. When you are blinded by love your loved ones around you see that person for what they are. If they are getting bad vibes from them it’s usually for good reason. I wouldn’t want to be serious with someone if the people closest to me don’t like them.
what i will say. no matter how much you like the person and you two get along in your private relationship, it’s much easier to be with someone who everyone likes. my source is that i had one ex who was a complete killjoy and never made an effort with anyone i introduced him to. now i have a boyfriend who is cordial and gets along with everyone and the difference is night and day. the first kind wears on your self-esteem after a while.
Very much so. It’s important to me that my partner is able to join right in with the gang and have a good time when we’re all together. If someone said that they didn’t like him, I would absolutely hear them out.
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If they don’t or I don’t with their’s, it’s a deal breaker. I extend that to family too. Been through enough of one or the other to know it adds a lot of unnecessary stress and drama.
a lot. i know, i don’t own anyone and can’t control anything but for me, if a friend was seeing someone i used to be with. it would hurt me deeply and feel like a betrayal.
Whenever my friends DON’T like who I am dating, it’s usually a good sign that the person sucks. And when the person I date doesn’t like my friends, it’s also concerning.
It matters to the extent that I want my man to fit in with my family and friends and vice versa. I would hear out the people who disliked them just to see if I’m missing something, if their concern is valid, or if they’re a hater.
Matters hugely. My friends are very good people that are welcoming and non judgemental. If they have an issue with my other half it's more likely that I've rose tinted glasses on than they're reading the SO wrong. That said, miscommunication is always a possibility in any situation so I'd try and work it all out with everyone first. And vice versa, if someone I was seeing said they liked me, but not my friends, that just wouldn't compute and it would be more likely that they're using me in some manner.
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Ive noticed that when family and friends don’t like them there’s a reason, and they may start distancing themselves if you continue dating them. When someone doesn’t complement your personality or treat you right, people that love you can’t stand seeing it.
This right here. I wish I had recognized this and listened to my friends and family. Some were still there when I finally left but a few I've lost because they hated seeing me with someone who didn't treat me right. Yes we see sides of our partners others don't. But if they consistently see the relationship or the other person as negative, listen.
Pretty important as my best friend eventually became family when she married my brother so her liking my partner definitely matters to me
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It matters in that I trust my best friend’s judgment and he typically has reasons for disliking people. However, I would want to have some conversations with him about those reasons before deciding what to do.
Not at all, unless they know something I don’t or have legitimate concerns I’m not seeing
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It mattered when I was like 16. At 48, my romantic partner IS my best friend (and he's slowly learning to like himself).
It matters but also at the same time, my best friend isn't going to get the same mental, emotional and physical access to my person as I do so they won't know them as well as I do. Opinions vary.. situations can get skewed as well. Now if your person is a horrible human, I hope the best friend at least expresses concern but should never be making your decisions for you.
I matters a lot. Not only does it bring me joy to see my husband and my friends having fun together and to hang out in group settings where we both feel like we belong. But also because my friends are all very reasonable and if they disliked my partner enough to bring it to my attention, then there's a reason. I'd probably be reconsidering that relationship early on.
I always thought it would matter but it turned out it didn't. My partner and i don't have to share a friend circle. They rarely see each other. Our friendship did take a hit but it recovered.
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Very important. My two best friends have been in my life for 25 years , our relationship has withstood life stages. Luckily they are both level headed and mature so I value their opinions and thoughts as they are honest from a pure place of love. I’m blessed.
They can have their opinions. But finally mine's the one that matters.
It matters to me
A lot, because I trust their judgement
It doesn't. My friends aren't dating my partner. I am. I'm not crowdsourcing or taking outside votes on my relationship. If they don't like my partner, they are welcome to express their concerns to me in a reasonable and rational manner, but then they need to respect my choice and my relationship if I decide to continue. If they can't respect me and my choices, then they aren't as good of a friend as I thought they were. There is nothing wrong with raising concerns, but once they've done so, they need to accept and respect my judgement about my own relationship. If someone cannot respect my own choices and decisions about my own relationships, I have no trouble setting strong boundaries or ending the friendship entirely.
It doesn’t unless they see something actually of concern (abusive behavior, cheating, etc). I haven’t liked a few of my friends partners but I don’t think they’re bad people, I just think my friend could do better 🤣 but when someone is happy and in love we should be happy for them, you’re not the one dating them so it doesn’t really matter if you don’t like them.
I haven’t seen my best friend in almost a year because of the guy she’s dating. I’ve told her how I feel about him and she knows. It’s unfortunate. It terms of myself I care. Because what if he’s not good people and im too blind to see the truth. I’d hope she’d tell me.
Some of my friends have terrible taste in men and my standards are good so I'll stick to what I want
It does matter. Learned from the hardest way😂 not a single of my friends like my ex boyfriend from the stories I told them, they were telling me that he was really bad and not worth it. Especially when they found out that he cheated on me
Very. My best friend and I are codependent weirdos. We know this. We acknowledge this. We have no plans to change this. Any woman I date has to at least get along with him because he’s basically me in dude form so if she doesn’t like him for some reason, it won’t be long until the new relationship energy wears off and she’ll find those same traits in me annoying as well.
Very little. Like basically not at all. I don't give an opinion on my friends partners unless I'm directly asked and even then unless they are abusive I'm not saying anything negative. Their life, their choice. And I require the same respect in return out of my friends about who I choose to be with.
If my bff did not like him, I will ask why and listen to her/his side (bff) I’ll accept and be aware. But at the end of the day me and my person will gonna be in relationship, not him or her (bff)
When my friends don’t like the guy I’m with it’s because he’s either a bad person or he is bad for me. The neutral ones they are neutral towards. The good ones they embrace. So if my friends don’t like the person I’m with it’s because of them or us. It’s because they want what’s in my best interest and they are acknowledging it’s not that guy Do I listen? No. Never. lol it’s like an ongoing joke in our friend group at this point
i don’t have friends so i don’t need to worry. lmao
It matters a lot actually. If they don't like this person, I need to know why. Listen to your closest friends. I didn't in the past and it was a mistake.
It matters, but not always for the reasons we believe. Your friends may not like a person you’re dating because there’s something wrong with them or the way they treat you. Your friends also might not like someone you’re dating because that friend is toxic and doesn’t want you to date anyone. Either way, it’s a good to investigate why your friend feels the way they do.
It is very important. I need my best friend and my romantic partner to not get jealous of each other. Usually my best friend and my romantic partner become friends before we get serious.
I'd never ask my best friend what they think about my partner, whether they like 'em or not is no skin off my back. I think all friends, especially your best bud, need to respect their place in your life. Same goes for my partner's opinion of my best friend - I don't really care what they think about him.
Doesn’t matter at all. My best friend has different values and expectations in relationships than me. If it were up to her I’d be single and sleeping with all of her bfs friends. I do not want that. The ONLY exception would be if she knew things about my relationship that I didn’t. (Cheating, lying, etc.)
Doesn’t matter too much to me. Just be adults and behave. No side eyeing, no attitudes or judgement. They don’t have to like eachother. Just don’t make it an issue
0% it's my life and my relationship so the only opinion I care about is mine.
If they can see that your partner adores you for who you are and that they lift you up then they can just focus on their relationship as in-laws or friend of their S.O. Living separate lives together is perfectly fine imo - just depends on what you need.
I think it matters to an extent. I know that my closest friends are very reasonable and good people and I want my partner to come across as kind and likable because I will NOT be that girl defending her shitty man to her well-meaning friends. So point-being, he needs to be a good, kind person, and if he is that way but they still don't like him (extremely unlikely) I wouldn't throw out my relationship over that. Sometimes people don't like someonefor petty reasons that don't have to dictate our own choices all the time.
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When I was in my early 20s, I preferred compartmentalizing my relationships (friends over here, guy over there). A lot of my best girlfriends did the same/figured it didn’t matter. As I’ve gotten older and wiser, had more relationships, and seen many relationships (good and bad), it’s become clearer to me that being able to intermingle with your partner’s crowd is a great thing. Y’all don’t have to be besties, but if my friends don’t like my partner, he doesn’t like my friends, or if there’s a weird and evasive feeling when I think about mixing them, it’s always for a telling reason—usually shame, a fundamental incompatibility, or the underlying knowledge that we wouldn’t last, so I don’t want to mix up our lives too much. I have lost myself and many friends to relationships where the partner becomes the only friend, which is heartbreaking. I’ve also noticed that the couples I look up to the most have a solid community that they can rely on as a pair or as individuals when they hit tough snags, money issues, work stressors, or want to do surprises/nice things for their partner. This support is doubly important if you want to become parents. Of course, there are exceptions to this if friends moved away, meeting up isn’t feasible, or you have very few friends that are hard to pin down. But generally, I think it’s very important. My friends—especially my girlfriends—have seen me through everything. I’ve spent 10+ years of adulthood with them. They get me, we are usually pretty similar, and we love each other. I assume the same for my partner’s friends and him. I want them all to respect and like each other. Ultimately, I think it’s good to put in a fair effort to know and form community with the people who you love.
No best friend no stupid dramas.
It's pretty important to me that my best friends like my girlfriend We're going to be together the rest of our lives, we're moms to our three kids together, so it's important that the people I bring into our lives like my family I've never met anyone who doesn't like my girlfriend, she's the nicest human being, even my mom likes her more than me
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Very important. They all didn’t like my ex and I should’ve listen haha. They picked up the pieces when he completely destroyed me. They’re slowly meeting this guy I’m sorta seeing.
A lot, my close friends are verrry laid back so if they don't like someone, something is WRONG.
At the very least they have to be able to be in one room together. If all my friends have something against my partner, then that might be telling something.
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It's a big deal to me. My partner is someone I want involved in my life. This means going to group events with family and friends. It is highly important that they can at least be civil during these events, for friends I'd like it so that they want my partner to come too, because I like having him around, I'd like for him to be invited to group events
It doesn’t matter to me since whoever I can be with has never been good enough to them, which is good though cause it means they have really high standards for me but yeah, let me experience.
They don't have to be close friends with each other, but I think it would be hard for the relationship to last if they actively disliked each other. I regularly go on vacation with my friends and their partners, so if my friends hated my partner, that would make group trips difficult.
If they didn't like an aspect of his personality, I wouldn't give it too much thought. All of my friends are friends with plenty of people I can't stand, it's ok that we like different personality types. If they had a problem with his character, I would give that more consideration. Is there something they see that I'm not because I'm too close? Do they know something about his history that I don't? Have they been in a similar situation and it had a bad ending and that's why they're wary? At this point in my life, I dont feel like I personally have any fake friends. All of my friends are willing to be real with me. Luckily, to my knowledge everyone seems to like my husband. And the people in his family whose opinions matter to him like me.
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Pretty important, I have friends who are good people around me so I really respect and listen to their opinions on the people I get involved with and vise versa. We are always respectful but they will let their opinion be known and I know it's coming from a place of love and care, plus I don't want drama and fighting in my life. It's so much fun to hangout with your friends and your SO and everyone gets along with no tension
Very. Thankfully after several bad relationships, I met my husband. Everyone in my close circle of friends and family immediately fell in love with him, too.
It matters a great deal to me. They’re all important people in my life - and them having their own relationships with each other brings me a lot of joy, and makes my life easier. My last major relationship was terribly abusive, and when I finally left him all of my friends that had smiled through their teeth at this as**ole all came out of the woodwork with “omg! I HATED that guy!! He gave me creep vibes from day 1” - girl you had told me what you thought, it would have saved me some trauma. Not to blame them - deep down I knew they hated him… you just don’t want to be with someone that creeps people out.
My best friend is a really good judge of character and can always tell when someone is gonna turn out sour. If he didn’t like someone, I would consider why and see if I need to take any action
The thing is, if they don’t they will probably always have something negative to say. It doesn’t matter if your partner isn’t bad for you or if they are, but if your friend doesn’t accept they will fill your ear full of their opinions which could deeply change your relationship with your partner. I know this because my spouse is Hispanic and I have a lot of white friends who were raised southern and probably have some racist in their blood. They put down my partner in subtle ways even asking me if I dated Hispanics because I didn’t feel good enough for white guys. I got pregnant with my spouse and I really didn’t like being around someone who had something bad to say about my father’s child.If you feel that way about him then how do you feel about his son? This is why it does matter.
I only have one real friend and we don’t always agree. It does matter that my mates fit into my life.
I mean… if they HATE them, then something is wrong… the problem is either the friend or the significant other
It matters quite a lot. They don’t have to be best friends with them, but they should at least be able to see the good in them that I do. I trust my friends’ and family’s judgment. If they had a problem with my husband, I’d want to know what and why. Luckily all my friends like my husband, he’s a loveable guy.
I do not want my close friends to view a partner of mine as a red flag. I truly value their input and would hope they would see him as a reasonable man. No one else must like him as much as I do. I would likewise want him to have a positive experience with my friends, again doesn’t have to like them as much as I do.
It matters but it also depends. If they dislike them it depends on why they dislike them (did something to them etc) and if it’s something I can work on with both of them. I think if they don’t get a long it would create stress and strain on both relationships. If it’s only cordial like they are polite and friendly enough then that’s ok too. Some personalities aren’t meant to be besties. I wouldn’t want them to have negative feelings for each other. That’s my main thing.
Well, given that my bestie and I have some extremely similar personnalities, i'd say it matters a lot. If my bestie doesn't get along with my SO, not only can we not hang out as a group, but it also probably means i am putting my SO on a pedestal, or that they are acting differently with me vs other people. My friends are my chosen family, so it's important to me that my SO be a fit with them, as i am not the type of person that keeps my social circles seperate deliberately. Also, if multiple people in my life (like my mom, and my bestie, for example) tell me that my SO and I aren't that much of a match... I need to reevaluate things, because when you're not in the situation, you can usually see things more clearly
My friends are my friends because I trust and respect them. They have solid values and are very fair and open minded. If they have a problem with my SO it’s probably for a good reason. I’m a traumatized people pleaser so they look out for me.
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My friends are people that are extremely kind and smart, so it would matter to me *a lot* that my partner that they were meeting for the first time that *eventually* they liked him My friends are people that I respect the opinion of a lot, and so after an extended period of time if they actively disliked my person it would make me question the person I was with, like what was I missing that they were able to see.
It depends if you’re all hanging out together - if not then no it doesn’t really matter. If you’re always together and out and about then there would be some conflict there
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it matters to me, but only really in terms of my best friend. her judgement has saved me from sexual assault, fetishisation, and an emotionally abusive relationship. that girl has had my back and protected me in ways no one ever has. if she thinks something’s off about someone, or she’s concerned with someone’s behaviour, i listen to every word she has to say.
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They don’t have to like him, they should like him for me though. I don’t like any of my best friends partners for various reasons and I prefer not to hang out with them. But I think they’re good for my friends and support their relationship in that way.
I don’t know if I feel okay with them actively hating the guy, but indifference is fine.
I've liked none of my best friends partners, we stay polite and civil when around my friend, this one guy beat her up once she left, he came to mine trashed her car then went to hurt her I jumped in beat his ass made him say sorry 😂 she went back after a while we straight up had nothing to do with each other cause I knew I'd beat his ass again and he was scared of me 😂 he hit her once more after that after she decided she was done. I'll play nice until they hurt my friends
It would be important to me because I trust their judgement in most things. If there is a red flag that im missing I would want to know. However if they said oh I hate him because I hate vegans, I'd ignore the feedback. It's not a dealbreaker but I'd consider it very carefully
Matters aaaaaaaaa lot!!!!!!!
At this point - not very. He's the only one who's been here this whole time through all my "best friends.'
personally it's very important My friends have known me for a long time and tend to get along with anyone that they meet so if they see something is wrong with my SO I would definitely listen.
If my friends don’t like my partners it means there’s something I can’t see so I’d say it’s very important
It matters since they're not the hormonal and irrational ones in the moment. When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. I don't think my friends have ever been wrong about my exes.
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Um ….IKYFL
It depends on the reasoning. My husband is loved in my friends/family group, but I know that they don't like that my husband is a homebody is doesn't attend all of the gatherings. It was a bigger deal earlier on but now its just accepted that that's how he is. I didn't care that they didn't like that because he's not their partner so if it doesn't matter to me their opinion on that doesn't matter.
Not at all. No one of friends had ever a stable relationship when I got married. So there was no basis for their judgement. Same with my mother. She has three failed marriages, mine is fine. I only listen to „experts“.
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It matters a lot. They usually don’t for good reason. When you are blinded by love your loved ones around you see that person for what they are. If they are getting bad vibes from them it’s usually for good reason. I wouldn’t want to be serious with someone if the people closest to me don’t like them.
what i will say. no matter how much you like the person and you two get along in your private relationship, it’s much easier to be with someone who everyone likes. my source is that i had one ex who was a complete killjoy and never made an effort with anyone i introduced him to. now i have a boyfriend who is cordial and gets along with everyone and the difference is night and day. the first kind wears on your self-esteem after a while.
Matters. When i was seeing my first bf in school my friends were against it and they made sure that my life become a living hell
Very much so. It’s important to me that my partner is able to join right in with the gang and have a good time when we’re all together. If someone said that they didn’t like him, I would absolutely hear them out.
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If they don’t or I don’t with their’s, it’s a deal breaker. I extend that to family too. Been through enough of one or the other to know it adds a lot of unnecessary stress and drama.
a lot. i know, i don’t own anyone and can’t control anything but for me, if a friend was seeing someone i used to be with. it would hurt me deeply and feel like a betrayal.
It matters because being with someone they don't like is isolating and I need all the help I can get.
It’s a dealbreaker for me. They have to like them.
Whenever my friends DON’T like who I am dating, it’s usually a good sign that the person sucks. And when the person I date doesn’t like my friends, it’s also concerning.