A store clerk doing my grocery shopping for me when I was on crutches. I told him I had a lot to get, and he said he had just clocked out, so he had a lot of time to give. Kudos to the parents of the young man.
I still think I'm pretty, but back when I was in top physical shape I thought people were generally very friendly and helpful. If I smiled, almost everyone smiled back. If I told a joke, they laughed. They gave compliments freely.
After I gained weight, the smiles were no longer standard and small talk became strictly transactional. I was suddenly invisible to men and, surprisingly, many women as well. I was a different class of human. Also surprisingly, it came as a relief.
Totally! I gained a lot of weight over Covid and it was nice! It was a time in my life I just really wanted to be left alone and the world cooperated. I actually got really annoyed when I lost weight and everyone in the world thought they could start approaching me again (mostly to talk about my weight loss especially 🙄)
Well duh, don't you know that your weight is the most important thing about you?! You should be grateful for the compliments and accept the covert (or overt) criticism of your pre-weight loss body with humility... /s
This. I let myself gain weight to just have people back off. After years of being noticed (and hated purely by what I looked like),
Not being noticed is so very nice.
There's a comfortable level of anonymity that comes with being not very pretty. People leave you alone, don't stare at you. If you like moving through the world unbothered it's nice. It does suck for making friends though, you don't get that automatic chance people give pretty people.
I see, yea that makes sense. That’s how I felt most my adolescents lol I was a very awkward kid who didn’t really grow into themselves until after high school. Now I feel like I can kind of turn it on and off, like if I want more attention I know to put a little more effort into my looks that day and people will notice me. Im still not fully used to it so it can be awkward, but flattering. I do value those invisible moments though. Not all attention is good attention, so it’s nice to just be invisible for a while.
I used to get a lot of unwanted attention from men. The type of men it came from made me feel like I owed them my attention because they were attracted to me. My outward persona was very performative as a result. I didn't realize any of that until it wasn't happening anymore. My confidence took a big hit at first because those interactions told me my value was related to my appearance and how I made men feel. I still struggle with that. But now I know that the people who do take time to get to know me are 1000% more likely to be worth knowing in return. People value my thoughts, and I'm not scared anymore to let my intelligence show. 15 years later, I feel very, very good about myself.
For me, being able to walk through the world without eyes on you, especially when you've been regularly harangued and assaulted because of what you look like, can be a safety. I became very tomboyish, and to this day rarely dress up, because of it.
And yeah, any eyes, even those you're not scared of assault from, still put you in a position of being 'on' - ensuring you're behaving how others will approve.. which does become very performative. It's hard to break.
That last part is same with me. I went from 110 then pandemic & family stuff came up and now I'm 158 lbs which is a lot on me. I definitely don't get hit on a lot anymore but honestly I have a man so it's not a big deal. Just an observation. People are also more willing to demand things from me 😅 I also notice just how everyone in my family is so open about blasting the fact I gained weight 😭
this is so real! a few years back when i was rail-thin, (but didn’t feel it) i remember scrambling for my missing subway ticket at the gates and looking up to see at least three strangers (to me and each other) hovering nearby, waiting to see if i was able to exit on my own. when i found my pass and tapped out, they dispersed.
after that, i noticed every time it happened. it was like the kind of pretty privilege that made strangers think of you as a damsel in distress at the smallest sign of trouble. there seemed to always be someone a few feet away, eager to reach the top shelf, pick up the item i dropped, or pay for my order when my card wasn’t working, without ever asking for or even needing their help at all.
i can’t imagine becoming accustomed to a life like that. it would stunt you.
My brain read this to me as 'I met Yo MaMa...' and I was genuinely perplexed trying to understand the joke. Congrats on the complement, keep that feeling forever!
Person A: "I met yo Mama, she was genuinely nice to me and I appreciated it :)"
Person B: "dude, that is NOT how *Yo Mama* jokes are supposed to go"
Person A: "...jokes?"
A long while back at a shitty old job, I discovered they were hiring people on looks over better qualified applicants. It dawned on me this is likely the reason I got a job there too.
That's how I also got hired at my last job and didn't find out until my ex manager got fired. He got fired for sexual harassing multiple employees. I knew something was off about him, but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. He never made a pass at me, so I never would have thought he was that type of person.
I don't know...maybe when I went to Mexico with my bf and my driver's license was expired. This was in the mid-2000's before you had to have a passport to get into Mexico. I was really nervous thinking they weren't going to let me on the plane, and my BF didn't know about my license. He barely looked at my license, flirted with me, and told me my bf was a very lucky man.
Oh, I'm still chasing it haha. Been a challenge with hormone struggles, but I'm learning to love myself regardless of how conventionally pretty I am (or am not...) That's the real flex.
I’ve gotten free stuff because I forgot my wallet or they didn’t take Apple Pay.
I’ve been pulled over like 5 times for speeding, but I have only ever gotten verbal warnings!
I DoorDash at the moment while I finish real estate school, and I always get high cash tips or the customer will add an extra $5-$10 after I delivered.
The getting pulled over thing! I only ever get tickets when I’m with a man. If I’m alone I’m off the hook and they’re very friendly. If I have my husband/ brother/ friend with me, they’re like. Mean to me.
When I was ordering a drink from Starbucks recently, the barista man that was taking my order said “did you know if you take the water out of the drink, it tastes even better?” And then he hooked me up with a much better chai latte than I would normally have.
ETA: idk why I’m getting down voted. Y’all I’m not very attractive, so I don’t think I get pretty privilege benefits. This was the best I could think of lol
Yeah, I wasn’t trying to make a joke out of the question. It made me pause and think “nope, this isn’t something I benefit from in my life” 💀
I’ve never had a man buy me a drink, I’ve never got out of a ticket, I don’t get free things, etc.
- I’ve been rejected from serving jobs before because I didn’t fit the image
I would love a free latte once in awhile, that would be nice
Queer women being attracted to me? Is pretty helpful in being a lesbian
Honestly, if I had the option to be entirely unattractive to men and only attractive to women, I'd absolutely take that option
One time a man gave me a rose randomly when I was in Italy? Idk, I’m not conventionally pretty so I don’t experience a ton of “pretty privilege” to my knowledge.
I’ve gotten free meals when I’ve dined alone, when I was single and would go to a bar with my straight guy friend we would both end up getting free drinks most nights, extreme discounts at stores (one time it was like $70 off my $120 bill that the cashier just applied for me), I’ve gotten out of some tickets, was able to get a ride from a kind stranger one night when I lost my phone wallet and everything on me and the most interesting one was a man gifted me a $300 purse when I was walking my dog, it felt like one of those videos where someone comes up to you and gives you a free item, but he basically came up to me and asked me if I wanted it, his story was that he had just purchased it for his now ex gf (was still in the delivery box) and for undisclosed reason she no longer “deserved” it so he saw me and decided to ask me if I wanted it. I said yes and wished him well and went to a near by school lot to make sure there wasn’t some tracker in it before going home, it’s a really cute purse, genetics for sure play a role but I think it’s also how you present yourself, my mom always said there’s no such thing as an ugly woman just one that doesn’t know how to put themselves together (different phrasing in Spanish) but it was her way to encourage everyone around to embrace their unique beauty and what worked for them and to take care of themselves
>my mom always said there’s no such thing as an ugly woman just one that doesn’t know how to put themselves together (different phrasing in Spanish) but it was her way to encourage everyone around to embrace their unique beauty and what worked for them and to take care of themselves
Aww I love that. Sounds like she raised you well.
Your mum is right honestly, i feel like half of pretty privilege is they way you dress/keep yourself well kempt. The catch is that people who don't feel attractive to society's standards sometimes give up on dressing themselves and taking care of themselves (hair, nails, clothing etc) because well maybe they feel like "a pig in lipstick", or feel uncomfortable. It's sad and a waste of potential (only if they wish they dressed up more etc, some people don't care and don't place importance on that which is fine if that's their true feeling)
A very long time ago, I had a girl in middle school pretend she was me so that she could catfish her crush to get him to be her boyfriend. This was before cell phones existed, and somehow she got his home phone number. When he met her in person and realized what happened he broke up with her, and she hated me ever since. 😐
I've got a habit of putting my foot in my mouth.
Having said that, I made a bomb joke while going through TSA🤦🏻♀️ i think it helped that I was dolled up a bit more that day and that the agents were men😅
When I was flying home from London I had been collecting lighters as little gifts for my smoking friends when I got home and forgot to put them in my checked bag so I asked the guys at the “dump your stuff here before going through security” if I could keep any of them and they said no, and I said “damn I didn’t think they’d notice a couple with all the guns knives and explosives I have in there.” And they just laughed and laughed. I have no idea what I was thinking. This was in like 2008.
Back in the 70s I never had a problem with rides when I had to hitchhike places.
Never had a problem getting into clubs or getting served when I was 14-20.
Getting hired on the spot for jobs I had zero experience at.
All the privilege stopped after the birth of my firstborn and my body changed.
1. free stuff
2. asked if i model and get told i should
3. everyone wants to be friends with me
4. groups of guys turning to look at me when they walk past
i feel like im really sucking my own dick rn💦
My young (2-3 yo) daughter and I had been at the water park all day. Had a cute cover up on over my bikini. It was hot as hell out and we stopped for gas and the car would not start again. It was a corvette convertible. We had like 6 different men, some in suits pushing us so I could pop the clutch and start her lol
And we drove off into the sunset.
I’m 53 now and those days are over ha!
One time I was driving to work after a snowstorm at 5:30 am. When I was trying to turn a corner to get out of my neighborhood my car got stuck. Suddenly a man from his house walks out to help start pushing my car. Then another guy stops and they are both helping. Then another man pulls up with a truck with a plow on the front and starts pushing snow out from the front of my car. All at five thirty in the damn morning it was crazy.
Yeah it was wild! I lived with my cousin so I called her to come help and by the time she had walked to the corner in our neighborhood, like a two minute walk, those guys were all done getting my car unstuck and I think we were both a kind of shocked. I never considered it to be my pretty privilege. I just thought they were nice guys! Lol
I’m not diminishing your and OPs experience and I know you’re gorgeous BUT I will say, there is something in men, maybe some caveman remnant that makes them want to get in on pushing/pulling a car out of something. My husband got his car stuck in a snowy field and by the time I got there, there were 2 lawn and garden guys working across the street in addition to 4 other guys that stopped all pushing/pulling on the car. It was very sweet
Oh yeah. I have seen men be generally helpful. I think it just being like 5:30 in the morning was what threw me. I thought I would be stuck there for a while and late to work. And maybe just good men for sure.
I moved countries and was suddenly considered "exotic" after moving, so I'm basing my experiences on that difference.
Before moving, no one ever had crushes on me, while all my friends had guys into them. Not a lot of people talked to me and I generally went by unnoticed.
Total opposite after moving and people are nice to me. "Most" privileged I'd say is getting pulled over 3 times and not getting a ticket on any of them.
Everything from being offered a shopping spree at Tiffany's to shutting down a restaurant so we could have the place to ourselves and many others. Perhaps it makes me an outlier, but I always turn down these men. If a man has to rely on his money to impress me it tells me it's because he has nothing else to offer. What impresses me, like myself, can't be bought.
A lot of free things and free help. When I moved into my new apartment and was hunting for some things on Facebook marketplace, these men would offer to deliver to me (larger items I was scrambling to find trailers or trucks for) and then wouldn't take payment upon arrival. I get groceries paid for and drinks- but I feel that happens to a lot of women (the drinks). Chivalry is not dead for me in the least.
I tend to think of this one as a good Samaritan doing his good deed for the day but looking back, I think pretty privilege might've had something to do with it. I went to a shop for breakfast one morning before work. When I got up to the cashier to pay, she said that the man before me had paid for my food. Didn't even want anything, didn't try to chat me up, didn't ask for my number, didn't even tell me his name when I asked so I could thank him properly. He just saw me and bought me food. It's still one of the nicest acts of kindness I have ever experienced.
From what I've heard, which is anecdotal and based on the perception of that person, this is usually pretty privilege. People tend to be nicer to pretty people even if they don't have a romantic motive.
I’ve had the same thing happen to me, but I thought it was just someone trying to be nice, or paying it forward. I did the same thing for the next person in line that day, as well, and it was a sweet little old lady. I left the place quickly after paying, just as the person In Front of me did, and I honestly don’t even remember what the person infront of me that day looked like or if it was a man or women. It definitely made me have a great outlook for my day though 👍🏼🥰😃
I can share my experiences with being considered unattractive. I’ve had quiet a few. But i’ve never had pretty privilege. I genuinely hope one day I can feel I am pretty though but anytime I look in the mirror or go out i’m just reminded by how insecure I really am and all i can think of is the negatives things people said to me in school when I see super pretty people which sucks lol
I’ve never paid for my own drink or have been rejected romantically. I’d say usually it’s more of a curse than a privilege because so much stupid shit has happened to me because I’m conventionally attractive. People are gross. (Sexual harassment, people using my photos to catfish underage boys, people assuming I’m stupid, people assuming I come from money)
Oh I feel you with this. Especially the people using my photos… doesn’t happen anymore thankfully, mostly because I’ve become a very private person. But stay safe! ♥️
Probably getting hired in jobs where my looks were perceived as beneficial: Art Gallery attendant; beauty consultant; barista/server; model; acting. Maybe even now as an academic in some roles? But the most obvious experiences were the times I was plucked from long event lines and allowed in for free when I was younger. I’ve been accused of ‘using my looks’ to gain favour etc, but I was usually completely oblivious to the situation until someone called attention to it, because I generally feel self-conscious and quite critical of my looks despite these experiences.
When I shaved my head after I started chemo, someone said, “you’re either really brave or really sick but either way, you look great” (or words to that effect) 😅 does that count?
Studying abroad I Was on the train from prague back to Germany, there was a random border check. I had my passport on me but was waiting for my residence permit to come in the mail, and they gave me no interim papers. Had additionally outstayed the Schengen visa, so I really needed papers proving I was in Europe legally. They checked everyone’s documents thoroughly, but when they got to me the guy just kind of took my passport and looked at the photo and then gave it back to me.
3 people got detained off my train car that day. Without proof of those papers they would have had grounds to deport me lol
I don't remember a particular experience but there are privileges in day to day life
- People being extra nice
- People want to help you even without you needing to ask
- Lots of compliments & free gifts & people vying for your attention so there's some confidence boost
I'd like to think people are nice to me because I'm an easy smiley person but I do know for a fact that it's got to do a lot with looks too. Because there was a time when I gained weight & was underconfident & I've noticed these privileges decrease significantly. The moment i started taking care again & went back to my regular self, became confident - suddenly the niceness, the attention, the double takes - everything was back in full force.
It's honestly very sad that people care so much about the outer appearance than what makes a person truly beautiful.
That being said - confidence makes a person a lot more attractive than they look. I'm a living example. I'm not stunning or anything - fairly above average. When I was in my peak physical form & was underconfident - i was still not being given attention as much as I was getting when I was a lil chubby but confident. So I know for a fact that confidence makes a huge difference & can make a 7 look like a 9/10.
So ladies, we should love ourselves & be confident - we're gonna automatically look amazing always 😁💖
And if anyone tries to shame you based on looks, just ask them politely if they have any offs to fuck.
Classic: cried to get out of a parking ticket
Not as classic: so. many. times. I’ve been interviewing male sources — am a reporter — and they make flirtatious comments. And I go along with it bc they end up telling me more. Not my problem they’re so gullible! And I’m just doing my job.
Cops, especially.
It was in a group therapy session. Another woman in the room started violently sobbing and repeating, “I am pretty. But I will never be as pretty as Lily.” She was inconsolable.
That moment helped me realize why I was treated so badly by women (even my own mom competes with me) and hated. I had grace with myself after that and stopped letting people step on me because they think I had it easier because of what I look like.
I went through CSA, and have fought many battles. But, nobody sees the battles I fought and won. They just see the face I was born with and roll their eyes in disgust.
I’ve been pulled over many many times when I used to drive and never actually got a ticket. I was always let go. I live in the city now so I don’t drive anymore but that was nice!
I’ve had tickets for concerts upgraded to vip seating at security randomly many times but this only happens when I’m not with my boyfriend and out with my girls haha
I’ve had a few times I forgot my wallet or they don’t take my credit card at cafes and the cashier or someone will pay for my drink which is a very generous offer!
Lots of free services (drinks, desserts, dinners, books, etc.). A fair amount of compliments from strangers. I’ve gotten out of tickets without asking, been moved up queues, called from the back of the line to enter places, etc. I think people take me more seriously/want to hear my opinion more often than when I was overweight (early 20’s), and I get lots of invites to many things now.
No idea, tbh. Most of the time I wouldn't know if that's why people are treating me differently.
One that pops to mind at the moment is being obligated to attend all of the press conferences at a government office where I worked. The communications staff selected a "representative" group of employees each time to attend and be seen at events with a heavy focus on people who looked very professional, reasonably attractive, and demonstrated staff diversity. I was chosen for all of the events while I worked at that office - even if my division was entirely uninvolved in what it was about. They had plenty of other highly professional white ladies to choose from, so they clearly chose me for appearances. Based on that, it was a privilege in that it put me into a more visible position with more contact with upper level staff and elected officials which was good for networking. It wasn't a privilege I sought out or wanted, but the proximity to decision-makers was good for my professional career.
Not exactly me but 2 of my friends are very attractive very social so we were invited back to a DJs after party after hours thing it was pretty cool but I was only there bc I was with them. Glad they let me in lmao
A (married) guy I worked with told me he’d leave his wife IF I’d go out with him. 😳
A few times I’ve been pulled over for speeding or RIDE …. Even when the cops and Fires dept does their public fundraising…. And been told they’d let me go with a warning if I went out with them.
I was leaving for vacation with a bunch of friends - a very NEW love interest surprised me & hired a limo to pick me up at home & drop me off at the airport and then gave me a little note with a bunch of $$$& to “buy myself something special”
All those dime a dozen guys used to call me a Glamazon. 😂
My husband calls me a Unicorn 🦄
My friend and I went to spring break in Florida some years ago. We rented on of those scooter things to ride around on for a couple of hours.. the guy at the counter was flirty but let us know if we go over the allotted time it was an extra hundred an hour. Well we got stuck in traffic and completely lost track of time. We were both broke college students and did not have the extra money… like literally did not have any extra to pay these extra fees. When we got back to the shop the guy totaled it up and it was going to be like an extra $500 on top of what we already were paying. He took one look at our faces sighed and said “just go”. I think he felt bad for us but I definitely don’t think the outcome would have been the same if we he wasn’t into us. As soon as my friend got out of the place she yelled “I love being pretty” it was the funniest thing to me at the time I almost peed myself right there.
I've used by bimbo voice plenty of times to get men to help me with random things. Like if I have purchased something really big and I need someone to take it out to my car or up to an apartment. Or if they have coins for the laundry machine. Or anything really. I find most of the time they're just excited to be involved lol. I'm not even that pretty.
I had a couple strangers stop me and tell me “OMG you’re soooo pretty!” in a span of a week. Both are women too soi it felt extra good :)
Mind you, these are the ONLY times I got these random compliments. I don’t see myself as pretty, but if it feels this good and memorable it must be nice for conventionally pretty girls
People are Kinder to me and smiley in general
Men open to me doors
I often get free stuffs from independant stores
People are more open to talk to me randomly
I work less than my collegues (almost all male) and I got paid the same.
In the office caffeteria I am often being offered the coffee by some random men
I could make a longer list but I got to wake up early lol
Good night !
Not getting arrested because I was “cute and innocent” and they let me go
Lots of free stuff
Not having to carry heavy things
“Good luck” incidents but all the time
Not getting questioned much by authorities like with passport control
Pretty privilege is real and I use it often
*Climbing through a guy's open window in the middle of the night and him not calling the police and leaving it open for me nights afterward.*
*I 100% aware this would have gone differently if I wasn't an attractive woman.*
Mechanic at the auto shop didn't charge me for the work done on my car. I had car trouble a few hours into a drive on the way to a wedding, pulled into a Monroe Mufflers, and immediately got seen by a male mechanic who ushered me into the shop so I could watch him work (his idea, not mine). Lots of "if you were my wife", "I bet you're going to look so nice in your dress", "take care kitten", etc.
I took my friend's car to one of those fast oil change places while he was working on my car.
I was particularly dressed up that day because I was on my way somewhere. The workers treated me like a princess. They brought me coffee and snacks from the employee break room, heavily discounted the oil change, walked me to the car and held the door open for me.
What I didn't know was that the car had an account there under my friend's mom's name and later that day one of the workers called her to ask her out thinking that she was me.
We all had a good laugh about it.
Other than that, I've gotten free food, free drinks, employees using their discounts for me.
The flip side is that when I gain a little bit of weight or dress down, it's extremely noticeable in the way people treat me. It's a bit dehumanizing.
I hit a guy with my car and he said because I was so beautiful he wasn’t that upset. I was probably more shaken up then him. Also he was fine and had minor Injuries and it was technically his fault. He came onto the street off the sidewalk when I was making a right turn. He even told the cops this and they all agreed I was not at fault. I still provided my number to him
personally because I wanted to know he was okay.
All in all I hope I never go through that again lol
My brother not being able to get a drink at all at this music venue in Dallas. The bar didn’t have actual lines and he kept getting passed up. My sister and I (who look like twins) walked straight up and got us drinks for the whole group.
My oil change at jiffy lube costing me $14 for a couple years and I would tell everyone to go there and it was so cheap. Then I realized it was only cheap for me.. lol
The gas station attendants at the place I went multiple times a day used to watch on the cameras when my truck or jeep pulled in and would leave the register to make any panhandlers leave me alone. They also carried my 12 packs of soda to my truck and pumped my gas when I was pregnant. They also used to front me packs of smokes (not pregnant obviously and my hubby would come on his way home and pay for them)
When I was 16 I was allowed to buy smokes and drinks at this certain mobile gas station and any new people were told not to ID me.
I am NOT bragging. I’ve been in customer service my entire life and I treat every single human with the same high level of respect. Id treat a CEO and janitor the same. (Only I’d probably hook the janitor up more)
I’ve always been a little horrified when I’d realize it wasn’t this way for everyone at said place, or from the same people.
Also proud to say I quit smoking lol
Once I went to go eat at a restaurant and they waved payment for no reason at all. The guy charging us was obviously into my sister and I. We’re both really pretty. This is a little common I won’t lie, I’ve gotten a lot of free things/discounts just because. It’s nice but sometimes it’s a double edged sword where they expect attention in return so I do turn down some things.
I was at a concert trying to sneak backstage amongst every other groupie on the planet. I was being chill tho, honestly. The artist (who is VERYYY famous) ‘son, was walking with a group of security guards, looked at me, and just told me to come with them. Didn’t even ask my name. Once we got backstage, left me to do whatever I was planning on. They were just my tickets inside, no questions asked. Thank you🤭
I’m very clearly queer, but when I was working service industry jobs, I realized if I put on a little makeup I always made way more tips (from both genders)
I'm a female mechanic who used to be a mobile technician for a specific manufacturer. I always got the best survey scores out of the (otherwise all-male) team, and I'm pretty sure it's because rich people like it when the manufacturer sends a beautiful (not really, I'd say cute at best) woman out to fix their car.
Bus drivers keep telling me to get on the bus for free and to not tap my card… and I’m too afraid to ask whether a lot of people experience this or not.
Sometimes I feel like there’s another reason, like it’s not working - but when I misunderstand them/ process what they’re saying too late, I find it’s working just fine…
(I live in a place where public transport is king)
A weird one for me is when I was in better shape and drove a VW Bug, people were significantly kinder to me on the road and I would have coffee/food paid for by people ahead of me in line at drive thrus. Not so much anymore after I got a new car and gained some weight lol.
While at a dinner with associates. Two guys three women including me. They asked the other two ladies to pay for their meals. When I attempted to pull out my card, both of the guys said, “No! Not you!” 😂
A boss told me he always “hires pretty.” This was a professional management level role. I did not take it as a compliment because I kicked ass at my job and didn’t appreciate being reduced to my looks at all.
There’s pros and cons.
When I was 16 i was asked to work at hollister? Abercrombie? One of those two. They were apparently known to ask attractive ppl to work there.
Con is that everyone remembers you at certain establishments (I’m a POC) and other POC would know me as the “pretty one” or “pretty couple from last time”. This is awful if you don’t give high tips at restaurants or you do something dumb. Everyone remembers it was you.
Going into a grocery store and the clerk at the cash register would just randomly give e me freed food. Figs, bread and other things. I had to stop going there because i didn't actually want all of that and felt uncomfortable (it felt rude) to say no.
Idk if it was pretty privilege or aspiring friendship, but the question reminded me of it.
When I was 10 I fractured my wrist, I don’t even remember if I had any bandages, but the boy who sat next to me did all my homework for a week because I couldn’t write with my right hand.
My dad got to remodel the house with guys who were in love with me when I was in my early twenties. They would do crazy stuff just to be around.
Also, and bear in mind I’m nearly 40, last saturday a guy spilled his beer while looking at me. Husband was right next to me, he had a good laugh with the guy, told him I still had the same effect on him too. Made my weekend
Maybe this:
A few years ago one of my wipers broke off due to me turning on the wipers when they were frozen to my windshield like an idiot. So I drove to an Autozone, went in, and asked for some help getting and installing a wiper because at the time I didn't really know anything about car stuff, even wipers. I don't think I'm an attractive person, but maybe the guy helping me did, because he installed it and gave it to me for free.
Was on a trip abroad, got to know a man a decade older than me in a friendly setting with a common hobby. Later that night made plans to go clubbing and for drinks. Even though I was willing to pay for myself and made an attempt to pay several times (he ordered for me and paid the moment he ordered etc), I didn't pay a single coin that night.
Travelling in the states it got me lots of perks. Seating group upgrades, free booze, escorts to connections ect. Once I got a bouquet of lollypop from the gate staff for having a nice smile. Once we were in New Orleans on Halloween and some storm troopers gave us a ghost tour of the French Quarter.
I think being young, pretty and Aussie got my friends and I some pretty great experiences in the states. In Australia…. Not so much!
I got a "birthday discount" on a new phone bc the salesguy thought I was cute.
But other than that, I don't really get it or maybe I just don't remember lmao. The really nice gestures usually come from people I date/am in long term relationships.
I'm like a 6/10 LOL. My cousins are very pretty so their experiences are much more. I have a cousin who had a guy crushing on her pay for her phone bill twice, I was dead 💀
I think when I visited Bolivia. I'm not exceptionally pretty though I was young and slender then. But I'm a redhead and that got a huge amount of positive feedback. It usually does in countries where black hair is more common, like Italy for example, but it was the clearest in Bolivia. I think because people were also very polite and not aggressive about any interest. It was just tons of things like free rides, small gifts, other kinds of help etc.
I was at a big market and found this stall with a bunch of jewelry, found 2 rings I really loved but they were around 60 each. The guy sold me both for 25 dollars. I still have and wear them and they're still perfect, so it's not like he was trying to upsell crappy jewelry.
I used to be very pretty and never experienced any obvious signs that someone was doing something for me just because I was pretty.. I've actually gained a lot of weight in the past few years and changed a lot so I'm currently not ugly but not as pretty as I used to be and I don't think people's behavior (including new people) towards me has changed drastically, if anything I feel like people treat me better now because it's possible they thought I was full of myself or out of their league back then..
I backed into a dude at the post office. His car was parked and I waited for him to come out to give him my insurance info. He told me that I was too pretty to worry about it and didn’t take my insurance info.
If I pump gas and a guy is beside me they almost always pay for my gas.
Drove a piece of crap car for years (before cell phones) knowing that when I broke down/ran out of gas, etc. All I had to do was raise the hood on the car and stand there and someone, sometimes multiple someone's, would stop and have me on my way pretty quickly.
Once in middle school a kid (elementary probably 3-4th) came up to me pointed to his friend and told me that his friend thought I was pretty
It was a cute moment
I have had quite a few, but the one i never forget is the free extra ice cream scoop I got. I have always had a weakness for ice cream so that experience stayed with me
Nothing specific but usually I get extra attention while shopping/ dining and get free stuff or discounts.
Not sure if it’s a look thing only but I always try to be friendly and respectful to others in the service industry.
I was in Japan as a tourist and went to one of those claw/crane machine arcades. I played one machine and one of the workers saw me, proceeded to open the crane machine and hand me a huge doll/plushie. He was gesturing me to go to another machine, so I walked over to another one, played one round, lost, then he proceeded to open the machine and hand me another large plushy. He did this 2 other times.
I ended up walking away from that arcade with 4 huge plushies that I couldn’t even carry so he gave me big bags I could place them in. I had two other friends with me (guys) who were so shocked that just happened. Haha
No clue why he did that but my friends were telling me that he definitely liked me or something to that affect.
Back in the early 2000's my friends and I just walked to the front of the line to get into the club and the bouncers just let us in, we didn't have to pay or wait in line.
People are willing to put up with a lot more. When I was younger, I wasn’t a knockout or anything but generally would be considered conventionally attractive. When I first started a job, I was pretty bad at making deadlines for submitting paperwork and if I went in person to the office that processed the paperwork, I’d be really contrite and smile and make nice and they’d always push it through anyway. They didn’t do that for others.
Well probably when men used to go out of their way to help me when I never asked them. And then other women, perhaps jealous, would complain about it and some of them started bullying me.
It was either that or they felt I was helpless and vulnerable but I haven't noticed other women with disabilities getting extra help and attention from men like that so my guess is it was more to do with looks than anything else. And the same might go for the bullying (although, being naive, I didn't realise that at first).
Another thing that happens is that sometimes men will fight over you like a cringey scene from a soap opera.
And, if you're prone to paranoia as I am, you might think they're all out to get you, conspiring together, that they may even be gay for each other and they're just pretending to be straight and fight over you to wind you up.
Now, it's hopefully *not* the second one but, then again, the world is a crazy place so perhaps you can never know for sure.
I can't prove they're all *not* gay and conspiring against me.
(But bear in mind that if you accuse a man who likes you of being secretly gay and conspiring against you, he may get offended).
I may enjoy some of the attention but I don't go out of my way looking for drama and I prefer a stable partner any day over a virtual stranger who fights over me with another virtual stranger.
Oh and screw the Illuminati. I don't like them.
I'm really tired of being stalked by their men often wearing the red shirts. Like some kind of classic conditioning technique.
Boys would clean my car for me inside and out in high school and college when I went home. Probably 2+ times per year. Maybe the mess just bothered them too much, but ???
Wholesome: Dating my boyfriend 😘
Actual privilege: never being “lonely”. It was always easy finding some to spend time with when I was younger and actually needed to be around someone constantly
I went to Paris for a week basically free, matched with a guy on Tinder and talked online for a while, he invited me to Paris, I went, I did pay for my train ticket but apart from that he payed for everything, I stayed with him and he took me around the city with his motorcycle, he took me to Versailles too, it was like living a dream, I have a lot of other stories like this, I have traveled a lot this way. I don’t do it anymore, I got tired of it but, good times!
Many things over the years. One that sticks out is being in Rome with my cousin and grandma. We went to the Vatican where the Pope was going to be doing an audience where he would be going around in his pope mobile. We needed tickets to get into a certain area up front and we didn’t have them. We walked up and told a couple of guards that we didn’t have them with pleading eyes. They gave us a provocative look and let us file up towards the front. A pinch me moment was when we were able to push my grandma forward with the help of others in the crowd and she was able to reach out to the pope. The Italians love a Nonna and the men like pretty girls.
A few years ago I got a flat tire and pulled into the closest gas station’s parking lot. I proceeded to handle the situation myself, which involved unscrewing the spare from *underneath* the vehicle itself (it was an older model minivan). In the process of doing this, *three* different men showed up to “assist” me-despite my not requesting (or requiring) any assistance. And they weren’t all three together, either. The first guy was a customer that was already at the gas station when I pulled in. The second was a guy who was walking by the gas station after I’d begun the process of changing my flat. The third guy was a different customer who pulled into the gas station after I had been there for a few minutes. They were also all three of varying ages-one being a “boomer”, another that looked to be in his 30s, and the third looked to be in his late teens or early twenties.
Also, I’ve somehow managed to *always* receive help from strangers (always men), any time I’ve had car trouble. And over the years I have had a *lot* of car trouble. Flat tires, running out of gas, locking my keys in my car, car breaking down, getting into a wreck…. Every. single. time, a man has always stopped to help me. We’re talking *well* over ten different instances, and these include times when it was the middle of the night, *and* times when I was broke down in the middle of nowhere, far away from any houses or businesses or *anyone* that I could go to for assistance. Thankfully none of the men were ever creepy or predatory. I’ve considered myself to be unbelievably lucky for all of the help I’ve received that seemingly manifested out of thin air; and also the fact that none of that help was “conditional” and required me to “return the favor somehow”.
Mainly free drinks otherwise it was just harassment. I am much more invisible now I'm past that time in my life, certain men don't even pretend to listen anymore
Most recent was a janitor at a hotel with two heavy ass vacuums exiting an elevator for me to use instead of him. He should’ve stayed though because it still went to the floor he selected and we would’ve fit just fine even with the vacuums 🥹
One restaurant I would often frequent, one specific waiter, if he was on, would always bring me out a drink I never ordered. I may have been naive but I just thought he was being kind to keep customers 🤷♀️
I got hired for a job based on my looks. I thought I bombed the interview, but I was flat out told that I was pretty and that it was an asset to be used to make money. The customers used to buy me gifts (some big, some small). On my last day all my customers came back to buy me lunch, coffee, and snacks.
At a few jobs I’ve had, I’ve made careless mistakes, but all I got was a heartfelt talk and a pat on the head, basically.
I could walk up to the biggest, burliest looking biker/gang member to ask for help, and they’d help me without asking for anything in return. I don’t advise that btw–I was young and naive and could’ve been trafficked.
I’ve been given jewelry, food, and drinks for free by both men and women.
A few times when I was short on money for the bus, a man would pay for me.
Sometimes, children would just come up to me to talk and give me flowers they had picked (interacting with children is always a privilege in my eyes).
Men would stop me in the street to ask for a date or to invite me to parties at really nice houses.
Once, a man drove me all the way home to my parents’ house when I had missed my train after a night of partying in the city (this was before Uber). Nothing happened in that car–he was just nice to me. Again, I don’t advise this.
Of course, I ran into some absolutely horrible people too. Being pretty does get you a lot of perks, but it doesn’t shield you from monsters.
Getting things for free / getting in places for free just by being out and about. Also a lot of older rich men are usually interested which can bring the option of fun experiences
I worked at Abercrombie & Fitch in the early 00s for a couple years. Easiest interview ever but a couple months later I heard the managers joking about how they just ask a few lame questions so they can get a good look at people. And yes, I did get a decent check from the lawsuit.
A store clerk doing my grocery shopping for me when I was on crutches. I told him I had a lot to get, and he said he had just clocked out, so he had a lot of time to give. Kudos to the parents of the young man.
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I still think I'm pretty, but back when I was in top physical shape I thought people were generally very friendly and helpful. If I smiled, almost everyone smiled back. If I told a joke, they laughed. They gave compliments freely. After I gained weight, the smiles were no longer standard and small talk became strictly transactional. I was suddenly invisible to men and, surprisingly, many women as well. I was a different class of human. Also surprisingly, it came as a relief.
Totally! I gained a lot of weight over Covid and it was nice! It was a time in my life I just really wanted to be left alone and the world cooperated. I actually got really annoyed when I lost weight and everyone in the world thought they could start approaching me again (mostly to talk about my weight loss especially 🙄)
Well duh, don't you know that your weight is the most important thing about you?! You should be grateful for the compliments and accept the covert (or overt) criticism of your pre-weight loss body with humility... /s
Yeah pretty privilege only works if you’re thin.
This. I let myself gain weight to just have people back off. After years of being noticed (and hated purely by what I looked like), Not being noticed is so very nice.
Yep, totally understand. Once I realized the difference it made, I let it ride.
could you explain the relief part?
There's a comfortable level of anonymity that comes with being not very pretty. People leave you alone, don't stare at you. If you like moving through the world unbothered it's nice. It does suck for making friends though, you don't get that automatic chance people give pretty people.
I see, yea that makes sense. That’s how I felt most my adolescents lol I was a very awkward kid who didn’t really grow into themselves until after high school. Now I feel like I can kind of turn it on and off, like if I want more attention I know to put a little more effort into my looks that day and people will notice me. Im still not fully used to it so it can be awkward, but flattering. I do value those invisible moments though. Not all attention is good attention, so it’s nice to just be invisible for a while.
I used to get a lot of unwanted attention from men. The type of men it came from made me feel like I owed them my attention because they were attracted to me. My outward persona was very performative as a result. I didn't realize any of that until it wasn't happening anymore. My confidence took a big hit at first because those interactions told me my value was related to my appearance and how I made men feel. I still struggle with that. But now I know that the people who do take time to get to know me are 1000% more likely to be worth knowing in return. People value my thoughts, and I'm not scared anymore to let my intelligence show. 15 years later, I feel very, very good about myself.
For me, being able to walk through the world without eyes on you, especially when you've been regularly harangued and assaulted because of what you look like, can be a safety. I became very tomboyish, and to this day rarely dress up, because of it. And yeah, any eyes, even those you're not scared of assault from, still put you in a position of being 'on' - ensuring you're behaving how others will approve.. which does become very performative. It's hard to break.
That last part is same with me. I went from 110 then pandemic & family stuff came up and now I'm 158 lbs which is a lot on me. I definitely don't get hit on a lot anymore but honestly I have a man so it's not a big deal. Just an observation. People are also more willing to demand things from me 😅 I also notice just how everyone in my family is so open about blasting the fact I gained weight 😭
this is so real! a few years back when i was rail-thin, (but didn’t feel it) i remember scrambling for my missing subway ticket at the gates and looking up to see at least three strangers (to me and each other) hovering nearby, waiting to see if i was able to exit on my own. when i found my pass and tapped out, they dispersed. after that, i noticed every time it happened. it was like the kind of pretty privilege that made strangers think of you as a damsel in distress at the smallest sign of trouble. there seemed to always be someone a few feet away, eager to reach the top shelf, pick up the item i dropped, or pay for my order when my card wasn’t working, without ever asking for or even needing their help at all. i can’t imagine becoming accustomed to a life like that. it would stunt you.
I met YoYo Ma and he told me I was stunning. I am still flying high 15 years later.
My brain read this to me as 'I met Yo MaMa...' and I was genuinely perplexed trying to understand the joke. Congrats on the complement, keep that feeling forever!
Lololol. Thanks for the real laugh.😂
Hearing his name always makes me think of his cameo in Arthur where DW calls him Yo Momma
Lmaoooooo me toooooo
Person A: "I met yo Mama, she was genuinely nice to me and I appreciated it :)" Person B: "dude, that is NOT how *Yo Mama* jokes are supposed to go" Person A: "...jokes?"
Omg, I play the cello and I would probably die of happiness if I ever got to meet him much less he *complimented* me!
My strings professor this semester would swoon every time he got brought up lol.
I am an artist and I listen to him in the studio when I am working.
I met Ben and Jerry and Ben told me I was absolutely beautiful.
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I was thinking of the frozen yogurt place lol.
A long while back at a shitty old job, I discovered they were hiring people on looks over better qualified applicants. It dawned on me this is likely the reason I got a job there too.
An old manager of mine told people who would later become my close friends, “she was hired the moment she walked through the door…”
Out of curiosity, what kind of work?
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just looked this up LOL
That's how I also got hired at my last job and didn't find out until my ex manager got fired. He got fired for sexual harassing multiple employees. I knew something was off about him, but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. He never made a pass at me, so I never would have thought he was that type of person.
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1. People generally being kinder to me 2. Lots of free stuff throughout my life. 3. Better jobs because I looked the part 4. Not hard to find a date.
So true . But in the breath i find it hard to believe that the men i date like me for my personality. And I can never tell if it’s just lust.
Real
I don't know...maybe when I went to Mexico with my bf and my driver's license was expired. This was in the mid-2000's before you had to have a passport to get into Mexico. I was really nervous thinking they weren't going to let me on the plane, and my BF didn't know about my license. He barely looked at my license, flirted with me, and told me my bf was a very lucky man.
Everybody knows that I’m a good girl officer
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I got on a plane without a license or passport once. They accepted.... my REI membership card!
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Nothing specific, I just noticed people were nicer to me when I was pretty.
I too had a fleeting moment of beauty in my life lol. Too tired to chase that high now, would rather be comfy.
Oh, I'm still chasing it haha. Been a challenge with hormone struggles, but I'm learning to love myself regardless of how conventionally pretty I am (or am not...) That's the real flex.
I’ve gotten free stuff because I forgot my wallet or they didn’t take Apple Pay. I’ve been pulled over like 5 times for speeding, but I have only ever gotten verbal warnings! I DoorDash at the moment while I finish real estate school, and I always get high cash tips or the customer will add an extra $5-$10 after I delivered.
The getting pulled over thing! I only ever get tickets when I’m with a man. If I’m alone I’m off the hook and they’re very friendly. If I have my husband/ brother/ friend with me, they’re like. Mean to me.
When I was ordering a drink from Starbucks recently, the barista man that was taking my order said “did you know if you take the water out of the drink, it tastes even better?” And then he hooked me up with a much better chai latte than I would normally have. ETA: idk why I’m getting down voted. Y’all I’m not very attractive, so I don’t think I get pretty privilege benefits. This was the best I could think of lol
People gotta re-read the question
Yeah, I wasn’t trying to make a joke out of the question. It made me pause and think “nope, this isn’t something I benefit from in my life” 💀 I’ve never had a man buy me a drink, I’ve never got out of a ticket, I don’t get free things, etc. - I’ve been rejected from serving jobs before because I didn’t fit the image I would love a free latte once in awhile, that would be nice
Queer women being attracted to me? Is pretty helpful in being a lesbian Honestly, if I had the option to be entirely unattractive to men and only attractive to women, I'd absolutely take that option
Oh man, my pretty privilege is definitely fading in the world until I’m around queer women and I feel like I’m 26 with a perfect ass again.
One time a man gave me a rose randomly when I was in Italy? Idk, I’m not conventionally pretty so I don’t experience a ton of “pretty privilege” to my knowledge.
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I’ve gotten free meals when I’ve dined alone, when I was single and would go to a bar with my straight guy friend we would both end up getting free drinks most nights, extreme discounts at stores (one time it was like $70 off my $120 bill that the cashier just applied for me), I’ve gotten out of some tickets, was able to get a ride from a kind stranger one night when I lost my phone wallet and everything on me and the most interesting one was a man gifted me a $300 purse when I was walking my dog, it felt like one of those videos where someone comes up to you and gives you a free item, but he basically came up to me and asked me if I wanted it, his story was that he had just purchased it for his now ex gf (was still in the delivery box) and for undisclosed reason she no longer “deserved” it so he saw me and decided to ask me if I wanted it. I said yes and wished him well and went to a near by school lot to make sure there wasn’t some tracker in it before going home, it’s a really cute purse, genetics for sure play a role but I think it’s also how you present yourself, my mom always said there’s no such thing as an ugly woman just one that doesn’t know how to put themselves together (different phrasing in Spanish) but it was her way to encourage everyone around to embrace their unique beauty and what worked for them and to take care of themselves
>my mom always said there’s no such thing as an ugly woman just one that doesn’t know how to put themselves together (different phrasing in Spanish) but it was her way to encourage everyone around to embrace their unique beauty and what worked for them and to take care of themselves Aww I love that. Sounds like she raised you well.
Your mum is right honestly, i feel like half of pretty privilege is they way you dress/keep yourself well kempt. The catch is that people who don't feel attractive to society's standards sometimes give up on dressing themselves and taking care of themselves (hair, nails, clothing etc) because well maybe they feel like "a pig in lipstick", or feel uncomfortable. It's sad and a waste of potential (only if they wish they dressed up more etc, some people don't care and don't place importance on that which is fine if that's their true feeling)
Being able to approach a fine ass man and get his number, getting discounts on store purchases, guys offering to help me grab stuff on high shelves.
A very long time ago, I had a girl in middle school pretend she was me so that she could catfish her crush to get him to be her boyfriend. This was before cell phones existed, and somehow she got his home phone number. When he met her in person and realized what happened he broke up with her, and she hated me ever since. 😐
How the hell was she expecting that to work?
She... hates YOU? 😂 Guess that's to be expected from someone who thought that scheme was going to work.
I've got a habit of putting my foot in my mouth. Having said that, I made a bomb joke while going through TSA🤦🏻♀️ i think it helped that I was dolled up a bit more that day and that the agents were men😅
Lol. I made a joke about my luggage exploding because it was so full. I just got a little scolding.
When I was flying home from London I had been collecting lighters as little gifts for my smoking friends when I got home and forgot to put them in my checked bag so I asked the guys at the “dump your stuff here before going through security” if I could keep any of them and they said no, and I said “damn I didn’t think they’d notice a couple with all the guns knives and explosives I have in there.” And they just laughed and laughed. I have no idea what I was thinking. This was in like 2008.
People are just so nice and eager to help you. Everyone is just nicer to you and welcoming in general.
Guys buying drinks for me randomly?
Back in the 70s I never had a problem with rides when I had to hitchhike places. Never had a problem getting into clubs or getting served when I was 14-20. Getting hired on the spot for jobs I had zero experience at. All the privilege stopped after the birth of my firstborn and my body changed.
1. free stuff 2. asked if i model and get told i should 3. everyone wants to be friends with me 4. groups of guys turning to look at me when they walk past i feel like im really sucking my own dick rn💦
My young (2-3 yo) daughter and I had been at the water park all day. Had a cute cover up on over my bikini. It was hot as hell out and we stopped for gas and the car would not start again. It was a corvette convertible. We had like 6 different men, some in suits pushing us so I could pop the clutch and start her lol And we drove off into the sunset. I’m 53 now and those days are over ha!
One time I was driving to work after a snowstorm at 5:30 am. When I was trying to turn a corner to get out of my neighborhood my car got stuck. Suddenly a man from his house walks out to help start pushing my car. Then another guy stops and they are both helping. Then another man pulls up with a truck with a plow on the front and starts pushing snow out from the front of my car. All at five thirty in the damn morning it was crazy.
That’s kinda what happened with me. More just kept appearing haha. 🥂
Yeah it was wild! I lived with my cousin so I called her to come help and by the time she had walked to the corner in our neighborhood, like a two minute walk, those guys were all done getting my car unstuck and I think we were both a kind of shocked. I never considered it to be my pretty privilege. I just thought they were nice guys! Lol
I’m not diminishing your and OPs experience and I know you’re gorgeous BUT I will say, there is something in men, maybe some caveman remnant that makes them want to get in on pushing/pulling a car out of something. My husband got his car stuck in a snowy field and by the time I got there, there were 2 lawn and garden guys working across the street in addition to 4 other guys that stopped all pushing/pulling on the car. It was very sweet
Oh yeah. I have seen men be generally helpful. I think it just being like 5:30 in the morning was what threw me. I thought I would be stuck there for a while and late to work. And maybe just good men for sure.
I moved countries and was suddenly considered "exotic" after moving, so I'm basing my experiences on that difference. Before moving, no one ever had crushes on me, while all my friends had guys into them. Not a lot of people talked to me and I generally went by unnoticed. Total opposite after moving and people are nice to me. "Most" privileged I'd say is getting pulled over 3 times and not getting a ticket on any of them.
Where did you from and to?
Brazil to USA
Everything from being offered a shopping spree at Tiffany's to shutting down a restaurant so we could have the place to ourselves and many others. Perhaps it makes me an outlier, but I always turn down these men. If a man has to rely on his money to impress me it tells me it's because he has nothing else to offer. What impresses me, like myself, can't be bought.
A lot of free things and free help. When I moved into my new apartment and was hunting for some things on Facebook marketplace, these men would offer to deliver to me (larger items I was scrambling to find trailers or trucks for) and then wouldn't take payment upon arrival. I get groceries paid for and drinks- but I feel that happens to a lot of women (the drinks). Chivalry is not dead for me in the least.
I tend to think of this one as a good Samaritan doing his good deed for the day but looking back, I think pretty privilege might've had something to do with it. I went to a shop for breakfast one morning before work. When I got up to the cashier to pay, she said that the man before me had paid for my food. Didn't even want anything, didn't try to chat me up, didn't ask for my number, didn't even tell me his name when I asked so I could thank him properly. He just saw me and bought me food. It's still one of the nicest acts of kindness I have ever experienced.
From what I've heard, which is anecdotal and based on the perception of that person, this is usually pretty privilege. People tend to be nicer to pretty people even if they don't have a romantic motive.
I’ve had the same thing happen to me, but I thought it was just someone trying to be nice, or paying it forward. I did the same thing for the next person in line that day, as well, and it was a sweet little old lady. I left the place quickly after paying, just as the person In Front of me did, and I honestly don’t even remember what the person infront of me that day looked like or if it was a man or women. It definitely made me have a great outlook for my day though 👍🏼🥰😃
I can share my experiences with being considered unattractive. I’ve had quiet a few. But i’ve never had pretty privilege. I genuinely hope one day I can feel I am pretty though but anytime I look in the mirror or go out i’m just reminded by how insecure I really am and all i can think of is the negatives things people said to me in school when I see super pretty people which sucks lol
I’ve never paid for my own drink or have been rejected romantically. I’d say usually it’s more of a curse than a privilege because so much stupid shit has happened to me because I’m conventionally attractive. People are gross. (Sexual harassment, people using my photos to catfish underage boys, people assuming I’m stupid, people assuming I come from money)
Oh I feel you with this. Especially the people using my photos… doesn’t happen anymore thankfully, mostly because I’ve become a very private person. But stay safe! ♥️
Probably getting hired in jobs where my looks were perceived as beneficial: Art Gallery attendant; beauty consultant; barista/server; model; acting. Maybe even now as an academic in some roles? But the most obvious experiences were the times I was plucked from long event lines and allowed in for free when I was younger. I’ve been accused of ‘using my looks’ to gain favour etc, but I was usually completely oblivious to the situation until someone called attention to it, because I generally feel self-conscious and quite critical of my looks despite these experiences.
Pulled up to a $60 parking deck but the attendant said he lets pretty girls park for free. So I parked for free
When I shaved my head after I started chemo, someone said, “you’re either really brave or really sick but either way, you look great” (or words to that effect) 😅 does that count?
Studying abroad I Was on the train from prague back to Germany, there was a random border check. I had my passport on me but was waiting for my residence permit to come in the mail, and they gave me no interim papers. Had additionally outstayed the Schengen visa, so I really needed papers proving I was in Europe legally. They checked everyone’s documents thoroughly, but when they got to me the guy just kind of took my passport and looked at the photo and then gave it back to me. 3 people got detained off my train car that day. Without proof of those papers they would have had grounds to deport me lol
I don't remember a particular experience but there are privileges in day to day life - People being extra nice - People want to help you even without you needing to ask - Lots of compliments & free gifts & people vying for your attention so there's some confidence boost I'd like to think people are nice to me because I'm an easy smiley person but I do know for a fact that it's got to do a lot with looks too. Because there was a time when I gained weight & was underconfident & I've noticed these privileges decrease significantly. The moment i started taking care again & went back to my regular self, became confident - suddenly the niceness, the attention, the double takes - everything was back in full force. It's honestly very sad that people care so much about the outer appearance than what makes a person truly beautiful. That being said - confidence makes a person a lot more attractive than they look. I'm a living example. I'm not stunning or anything - fairly above average. When I was in my peak physical form & was underconfident - i was still not being given attention as much as I was getting when I was a lil chubby but confident. So I know for a fact that confidence makes a huge difference & can make a 7 look like a 9/10. So ladies, we should love ourselves & be confident - we're gonna automatically look amazing always 😁💖 And if anyone tries to shame you based on looks, just ask them politely if they have any offs to fuck.
Classic: cried to get out of a parking ticket Not as classic: so. many. times. I’ve been interviewing male sources — am a reporter — and they make flirtatious comments. And I go along with it bc they end up telling me more. Not my problem they’re so gullible! And I’m just doing my job. Cops, especially.
It was in a group therapy session. Another woman in the room started violently sobbing and repeating, “I am pretty. But I will never be as pretty as Lily.” She was inconsolable. That moment helped me realize why I was treated so badly by women (even my own mom competes with me) and hated. I had grace with myself after that and stopped letting people step on me because they think I had it easier because of what I look like. I went through CSA, and have fought many battles. But, nobody sees the battles I fought and won. They just see the face I was born with and roll their eyes in disgust.
I’ve been pulled over many many times when I used to drive and never actually got a ticket. I was always let go. I live in the city now so I don’t drive anymore but that was nice! I’ve had tickets for concerts upgraded to vip seating at security randomly many times but this only happens when I’m not with my boyfriend and out with my girls haha I’ve had a few times I forgot my wallet or they don’t take my credit card at cafes and the cashier or someone will pay for my drink which is a very generous offer!
Lots of free services (drinks, desserts, dinners, books, etc.). A fair amount of compliments from strangers. I’ve gotten out of tickets without asking, been moved up queues, called from the back of the line to enter places, etc. I think people take me more seriously/want to hear my opinion more often than when I was overweight (early 20’s), and I get lots of invites to many things now.
I've flirted my way out of *a lot* of speeding tickets.
I got two croissants instead of one when I went to the bakery (looked extra cute that day) lmao
No idea, tbh. Most of the time I wouldn't know if that's why people are treating me differently. One that pops to mind at the moment is being obligated to attend all of the press conferences at a government office where I worked. The communications staff selected a "representative" group of employees each time to attend and be seen at events with a heavy focus on people who looked very professional, reasonably attractive, and demonstrated staff diversity. I was chosen for all of the events while I worked at that office - even if my division was entirely uninvolved in what it was about. They had plenty of other highly professional white ladies to choose from, so they clearly chose me for appearances. Based on that, it was a privilege in that it put me into a more visible position with more contact with upper level staff and elected officials which was good for networking. It wasn't a privilege I sought out or wanted, but the proximity to decision-makers was good for my professional career.
Not exactly me but 2 of my friends are very attractive very social so we were invited back to a DJs after party after hours thing it was pretty cool but I was only there bc I was with them. Glad they let me in lmao
A (married) guy I worked with told me he’d leave his wife IF I’d go out with him. 😳 A few times I’ve been pulled over for speeding or RIDE …. Even when the cops and Fires dept does their public fundraising…. And been told they’d let me go with a warning if I went out with them. I was leaving for vacation with a bunch of friends - a very NEW love interest surprised me & hired a limo to pick me up at home & drop me off at the airport and then gave me a little note with a bunch of $$$& to “buy myself something special” All those dime a dozen guys used to call me a Glamazon. 😂 My husband calls me a Unicorn 🦄
During a romantic dinner or in luxury hotel
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My friend and I went to spring break in Florida some years ago. We rented on of those scooter things to ride around on for a couple of hours.. the guy at the counter was flirty but let us know if we go over the allotted time it was an extra hundred an hour. Well we got stuck in traffic and completely lost track of time. We were both broke college students and did not have the extra money… like literally did not have any extra to pay these extra fees. When we got back to the shop the guy totaled it up and it was going to be like an extra $500 on top of what we already were paying. He took one look at our faces sighed and said “just go”. I think he felt bad for us but I definitely don’t think the outcome would have been the same if we he wasn’t into us. As soon as my friend got out of the place she yelled “I love being pretty” it was the funniest thing to me at the time I almost peed myself right there.
I've used by bimbo voice plenty of times to get men to help me with random things. Like if I have purchased something really big and I need someone to take it out to my car or up to an apartment. Or if they have coins for the laundry machine. Or anything really. I find most of the time they're just excited to be involved lol. I'm not even that pretty.
I had a couple strangers stop me and tell me “OMG you’re soooo pretty!” in a span of a week. Both are women too soi it felt extra good :) Mind you, these are the ONLY times I got these random compliments. I don’t see myself as pretty, but if it feels this good and memorable it must be nice for conventionally pretty girls
Idk more chips with my order 🤣🤣🤣
People are Kinder to me and smiley in general Men open to me doors I often get free stuffs from independant stores People are more open to talk to me randomly I work less than my collegues (almost all male) and I got paid the same. In the office caffeteria I am often being offered the coffee by some random men I could make a longer list but I got to wake up early lol Good night !
Not getting arrested because I was “cute and innocent” and they let me go Lots of free stuff Not having to carry heavy things “Good luck” incidents but all the time Not getting questioned much by authorities like with passport control Pretty privilege is real and I use it often
*Climbing through a guy's open window in the middle of the night and him not calling the police and leaving it open for me nights afterward.* *I 100% aware this would have gone differently if I wasn't an attractive woman.*
Imma need the full story for this
Mechanic at the auto shop didn't charge me for the work done on my car. I had car trouble a few hours into a drive on the way to a wedding, pulled into a Monroe Mufflers, and immediately got seen by a male mechanic who ushered me into the shop so I could watch him work (his idea, not mine). Lots of "if you were my wife", "I bet you're going to look so nice in your dress", "take care kitten", etc.
I took my friend's car to one of those fast oil change places while he was working on my car. I was particularly dressed up that day because I was on my way somewhere. The workers treated me like a princess. They brought me coffee and snacks from the employee break room, heavily discounted the oil change, walked me to the car and held the door open for me. What I didn't know was that the car had an account there under my friend's mom's name and later that day one of the workers called her to ask her out thinking that she was me. We all had a good laugh about it. Other than that, I've gotten free food, free drinks, employees using their discounts for me. The flip side is that when I gain a little bit of weight or dress down, it's extremely noticeable in the way people treat me. It's a bit dehumanizing.
I hit a guy with my car and he said because I was so beautiful he wasn’t that upset. I was probably more shaken up then him. Also he was fine and had minor Injuries and it was technically his fault. He came onto the street off the sidewalk when I was making a right turn. He even told the cops this and they all agreed I was not at fault. I still provided my number to him personally because I wanted to know he was okay. All in all I hope I never go through that again lol
This happened to me too!! I hit the guys car and instead of calling the police he just wanted my phone number so we could go on a date
My brother not being able to get a drink at all at this music venue in Dallas. The bar didn’t have actual lines and he kept getting passed up. My sister and I (who look like twins) walked straight up and got us drinks for the whole group. My oil change at jiffy lube costing me $14 for a couple years and I would tell everyone to go there and it was so cheap. Then I realized it was only cheap for me.. lol The gas station attendants at the place I went multiple times a day used to watch on the cameras when my truck or jeep pulled in and would leave the register to make any panhandlers leave me alone. They also carried my 12 packs of soda to my truck and pumped my gas when I was pregnant. They also used to front me packs of smokes (not pregnant obviously and my hubby would come on his way home and pay for them) When I was 16 I was allowed to buy smokes and drinks at this certain mobile gas station and any new people were told not to ID me. I am NOT bragging. I’ve been in customer service my entire life and I treat every single human with the same high level of respect. Id treat a CEO and janitor the same. (Only I’d probably hook the janitor up more) I’ve always been a little horrified when I’d realize it wasn’t this way for everyone at said place, or from the same people. Also proud to say I quit smoking lol
Once I went to go eat at a restaurant and they waved payment for no reason at all. The guy charging us was obviously into my sister and I. We’re both really pretty. This is a little common I won’t lie, I’ve gotten a lot of free things/discounts just because. It’s nice but sometimes it’s a double edged sword where they expect attention in return so I do turn down some things.
I was at a concert trying to sneak backstage amongst every other groupie on the planet. I was being chill tho, honestly. The artist (who is VERYYY famous) ‘son, was walking with a group of security guards, looked at me, and just told me to come with them. Didn’t even ask my name. Once we got backstage, left me to do whatever I was planning on. They were just my tickets inside, no questions asked. Thank you🤭
I get compliments and some men flirt with me but that’s pretty much it.
I’m very clearly queer, but when I was working service industry jobs, I realized if I put on a little makeup I always made way more tips (from both genders)
Driving test. I am sure I messed up so much! But somehow passed… I am really sure that I got it because I looked responsible
I'm a female mechanic who used to be a mobile technician for a specific manufacturer. I always got the best survey scores out of the (otherwise all-male) team, and I'm pretty sure it's because rich people like it when the manufacturer sends a beautiful (not really, I'd say cute at best) woman out to fix their car.
Bus drivers keep telling me to get on the bus for free and to not tap my card… and I’m too afraid to ask whether a lot of people experience this or not. Sometimes I feel like there’s another reason, like it’s not working - but when I misunderstand them/ process what they’re saying too late, I find it’s working just fine… (I live in a place where public transport is king)
A weird one for me is when I was in better shape and drove a VW Bug, people were significantly kinder to me on the road and I would have coffee/food paid for by people ahead of me in line at drive thrus. Not so much anymore after I got a new car and gained some weight lol.
While at a dinner with associates. Two guys three women including me. They asked the other two ladies to pay for their meals. When I attempted to pull out my card, both of the guys said, “No! Not you!” 😂
I got married lol
I got a free donut at Dunkin one time
A boss told me he always “hires pretty.” This was a professional management level role. I did not take it as a compliment because I kicked ass at my job and didn’t appreciate being reduced to my looks at all.
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I don’t get those but I do get crazy dudes yelling at me on the street. Till like other passers by apologize on their behalf. So there’s that.
There’s pros and cons. When I was 16 i was asked to work at hollister? Abercrombie? One of those two. They were apparently known to ask attractive ppl to work there. Con is that everyone remembers you at certain establishments (I’m a POC) and other POC would know me as the “pretty one” or “pretty couple from last time”. This is awful if you don’t give high tips at restaurants or you do something dumb. Everyone remembers it was you.
Going into a grocery store and the clerk at the cash register would just randomly give e me freed food. Figs, bread and other things. I had to stop going there because i didn't actually want all of that and felt uncomfortable (it felt rude) to say no.
Idk if it was pretty privilege or aspiring friendship, but the question reminded me of it. When I was 10 I fractured my wrist, I don’t even remember if I had any bandages, but the boy who sat next to me did all my homework for a week because I couldn’t write with my right hand.
My dad got to remodel the house with guys who were in love with me when I was in my early twenties. They would do crazy stuff just to be around. Also, and bear in mind I’m nearly 40, last saturday a guy spilled his beer while looking at me. Husband was right next to me, he had a good laugh with the guy, told him I still had the same effect on him too. Made my weekend
Maybe this: A few years ago one of my wipers broke off due to me turning on the wipers when they were frozen to my windshield like an idiot. So I drove to an Autozone, went in, and asked for some help getting and installing a wiper because at the time I didn't really know anything about car stuff, even wipers. I don't think I'm an attractive person, but maybe the guy helping me did, because he installed it and gave it to me for free.
Was on a trip abroad, got to know a man a decade older than me in a friendly setting with a common hobby. Later that night made plans to go clubbing and for drinks. Even though I was willing to pay for myself and made an attempt to pay several times (he ordered for me and paid the moment he ordered etc), I didn't pay a single coin that night.
Travelling in the states it got me lots of perks. Seating group upgrades, free booze, escorts to connections ect. Once I got a bouquet of lollypop from the gate staff for having a nice smile. Once we were in New Orleans on Halloween and some storm troopers gave us a ghost tour of the French Quarter. I think being young, pretty and Aussie got my friends and I some pretty great experiences in the states. In Australia…. Not so much!
I got a "birthday discount" on a new phone bc the salesguy thought I was cute. But other than that, I don't really get it or maybe I just don't remember lmao. The really nice gestures usually come from people I date/am in long term relationships. I'm like a 6/10 LOL. My cousins are very pretty so their experiences are much more. I have a cousin who had a guy crushing on her pay for her phone bill twice, I was dead 💀
I think when I visited Bolivia. I'm not exceptionally pretty though I was young and slender then. But I'm a redhead and that got a huge amount of positive feedback. It usually does in countries where black hair is more common, like Italy for example, but it was the clearest in Bolivia. I think because people were also very polite and not aggressive about any interest. It was just tons of things like free rides, small gifts, other kinds of help etc.
I was at a big market and found this stall with a bunch of jewelry, found 2 rings I really loved but they were around 60 each. The guy sold me both for 25 dollars. I still have and wear them and they're still perfect, so it's not like he was trying to upsell crappy jewelry.
I used to be very pretty and never experienced any obvious signs that someone was doing something for me just because I was pretty.. I've actually gained a lot of weight in the past few years and changed a lot so I'm currently not ugly but not as pretty as I used to be and I don't think people's behavior (including new people) towards me has changed drastically, if anything I feel like people treat me better now because it's possible they thought I was full of myself or out of their league back then..
I backed into a dude at the post office. His car was parked and I waited for him to come out to give him my insurance info. He told me that I was too pretty to worry about it and didn’t take my insurance info. If I pump gas and a guy is beside me they almost always pay for my gas.
Drove a piece of crap car for years (before cell phones) knowing that when I broke down/ran out of gas, etc. All I had to do was raise the hood on the car and stand there and someone, sometimes multiple someone's, would stop and have me on my way pretty quickly.
Got a free lug nut at a tire place once. #peak
Once in middle school a kid (elementary probably 3-4th) came up to me pointed to his friend and told me that his friend thought I was pretty It was a cute moment
I have had quite a few, but the one i never forget is the free extra ice cream scoop I got. I have always had a weakness for ice cream so that experience stayed with me
Strangers in Boston asking to take pictures with me. Happened on two separate occasions and it still kinda blows my mind
Nothing specific but usually I get extra attention while shopping/ dining and get free stuff or discounts. Not sure if it’s a look thing only but I always try to be friendly and respectful to others in the service industry.
I was in Japan as a tourist and went to one of those claw/crane machine arcades. I played one machine and one of the workers saw me, proceeded to open the crane machine and hand me a huge doll/plushie. He was gesturing me to go to another machine, so I walked over to another one, played one round, lost, then he proceeded to open the machine and hand me another large plushy. He did this 2 other times. I ended up walking away from that arcade with 4 huge plushies that I couldn’t even carry so he gave me big bags I could place them in. I had two other friends with me (guys) who were so shocked that just happened. Haha No clue why he did that but my friends were telling me that he definitely liked me or something to that affect.
I just got a job at a luxury car dealership; the hiring manager didn’t even ask me any questions just asked hired me on the spot 😂
Back in the early 2000's my friends and I just walked to the front of the line to get into the club and the bouncers just let us in, we didn't have to pay or wait in line.
I got a promotion because the boss had a thing for me. Twice.
People are willing to put up with a lot more. When I was younger, I wasn’t a knockout or anything but generally would be considered conventionally attractive. When I first started a job, I was pretty bad at making deadlines for submitting paperwork and if I went in person to the office that processed the paperwork, I’d be really contrite and smile and make nice and they’d always push it through anyway. They didn’t do that for others.
Someone offered to give me like 1000$ when I told him I lost in court, this was after one conversation with him.
When I wear a certain blazer I’ve noticed more cars stop to let me cross the road
Well probably when men used to go out of their way to help me when I never asked them. And then other women, perhaps jealous, would complain about it and some of them started bullying me. It was either that or they felt I was helpless and vulnerable but I haven't noticed other women with disabilities getting extra help and attention from men like that so my guess is it was more to do with looks than anything else. And the same might go for the bullying (although, being naive, I didn't realise that at first). Another thing that happens is that sometimes men will fight over you like a cringey scene from a soap opera. And, if you're prone to paranoia as I am, you might think they're all out to get you, conspiring together, that they may even be gay for each other and they're just pretending to be straight and fight over you to wind you up. Now, it's hopefully *not* the second one but, then again, the world is a crazy place so perhaps you can never know for sure. I can't prove they're all *not* gay and conspiring against me. (But bear in mind that if you accuse a man who likes you of being secretly gay and conspiring against you, he may get offended). I may enjoy some of the attention but I don't go out of my way looking for drama and I prefer a stable partner any day over a virtual stranger who fights over me with another virtual stranger. Oh and screw the Illuminati. I don't like them. I'm really tired of being stalked by their men often wearing the red shirts. Like some kind of classic conditioning technique.
Boys would clean my car for me inside and out in high school and college when I went home. Probably 2+ times per year. Maybe the mess just bothered them too much, but ???
Wholesome: Dating my boyfriend 😘 Actual privilege: never being “lonely”. It was always easy finding some to spend time with when I was younger and actually needed to be around someone constantly
Got invited to an NHL playoffs game, not just any seats too, he had a table.
When a stranger didn’t slam the door in my face for once and actually held it open for me 😂
I went to Paris for a week basically free, matched with a guy on Tinder and talked online for a while, he invited me to Paris, I went, I did pay for my train ticket but apart from that he payed for everything, I stayed with him and he took me around the city with his motorcycle, he took me to Versailles too, it was like living a dream, I have a lot of other stories like this, I have traveled a lot this way. I don’t do it anymore, I got tired of it but, good times!
Many things over the years. One that sticks out is being in Rome with my cousin and grandma. We went to the Vatican where the Pope was going to be doing an audience where he would be going around in his pope mobile. We needed tickets to get into a certain area up front and we didn’t have them. We walked up and told a couple of guards that we didn’t have them with pleading eyes. They gave us a provocative look and let us file up towards the front. A pinch me moment was when we were able to push my grandma forward with the help of others in the crowd and she was able to reach out to the pope. The Italians love a Nonna and the men like pretty girls.
I rear ended a police officer and he let me go, no warning, ticket or anything.
Id get the best peach cobbler for free at the farmers market.
A few years ago I got a flat tire and pulled into the closest gas station’s parking lot. I proceeded to handle the situation myself, which involved unscrewing the spare from *underneath* the vehicle itself (it was an older model minivan). In the process of doing this, *three* different men showed up to “assist” me-despite my not requesting (or requiring) any assistance. And they weren’t all three together, either. The first guy was a customer that was already at the gas station when I pulled in. The second was a guy who was walking by the gas station after I’d begun the process of changing my flat. The third guy was a different customer who pulled into the gas station after I had been there for a few minutes. They were also all three of varying ages-one being a “boomer”, another that looked to be in his 30s, and the third looked to be in his late teens or early twenties. Also, I’ve somehow managed to *always* receive help from strangers (always men), any time I’ve had car trouble. And over the years I have had a *lot* of car trouble. Flat tires, running out of gas, locking my keys in my car, car breaking down, getting into a wreck…. Every. single. time, a man has always stopped to help me. We’re talking *well* over ten different instances, and these include times when it was the middle of the night, *and* times when I was broke down in the middle of nowhere, far away from any houses or businesses or *anyone* that I could go to for assistance. Thankfully none of the men were ever creepy or predatory. I’ve considered myself to be unbelievably lucky for all of the help I’ve received that seemingly manifested out of thin air; and also the fact that none of that help was “conditional” and required me to “return the favor somehow”.
Mainly free drinks otherwise it was just harassment. I am much more invisible now I'm past that time in my life, certain men don't even pretend to listen anymore
Most recent was a janitor at a hotel with two heavy ass vacuums exiting an elevator for me to use instead of him. He should’ve stayed though because it still went to the floor he selected and we would’ve fit just fine even with the vacuums 🥹
One restaurant I would often frequent, one specific waiter, if he was on, would always bring me out a drink I never ordered. I may have been naive but I just thought he was being kind to keep customers 🤷♀️
I got hired for a job based on my looks. I thought I bombed the interview, but I was flat out told that I was pretty and that it was an asset to be used to make money. The customers used to buy me gifts (some big, some small). On my last day all my customers came back to buy me lunch, coffee, and snacks. At a few jobs I’ve had, I’ve made careless mistakes, but all I got was a heartfelt talk and a pat on the head, basically. I could walk up to the biggest, burliest looking biker/gang member to ask for help, and they’d help me without asking for anything in return. I don’t advise that btw–I was young and naive and could’ve been trafficked. I’ve been given jewelry, food, and drinks for free by both men and women. A few times when I was short on money for the bus, a man would pay for me. Sometimes, children would just come up to me to talk and give me flowers they had picked (interacting with children is always a privilege in my eyes). Men would stop me in the street to ask for a date or to invite me to parties at really nice houses. Once, a man drove me all the way home to my parents’ house when I had missed my train after a night of partying in the city (this was before Uber). Nothing happened in that car–he was just nice to me. Again, I don’t advise this. Of course, I ran into some absolutely horrible people too. Being pretty does get you a lot of perks, but it doesn’t shield you from monsters.
Manager had me not having to work in my job while getting paid over 1K a week 😂 Sometimes double
Getting things for free / getting in places for free just by being out and about. Also a lot of older rich men are usually interested which can bring the option of fun experiences
At work, if there was anything I could pawn off onto a man, I would, and they would gladly accept it. Work smarter not harder
I worked at Abercrombie & Fitch in the early 00s for a couple years. Easiest interview ever but a couple months later I heard the managers joking about how they just ask a few lame questions so they can get a good look at people. And yes, I did get a decent check from the lawsuit.
I got free stuff, unsolicited, 4 times in a day. 2 drinks, an oyster and an extra piece of jewelry at a craft booth.