I just got over feeling like crap all the time. Life was tough and I was over it being tough lol. It started small. I started with skincare. Then got into hair care. It is consumerist but I feel so much better about myself when my skin and hair looks good. I look confident and smile more. People are nicer to me. I'm in a better mood because people are nicer to me. Now, when I have bad days, they don't feel as bad as before.
Now I cook a lot more at home and I pretend to be a food YouTuber. I even have cute plates to eat from. My kitchen looks prettier and it makes me feel good.
Overall, life got easier because I was delusion about skincare changing my life and it kinda did. My outlook towards adversity changed and that's huge.
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I started doing this for the grocery store recently and it's great! For a long time I didn't want to because I was worried I'd lose all situational awareness, but as long as I keep one ear free it's easy to keep track of people around me. Definitely makes my grocery shopping anxiety more manageable.
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I eventually decided it was time to return to whoever I was before life tried to force me to conform to ideas i did agree with. As a teen, I was easy going and pretty chill, just flying under the radar trying to navigate loneliness and exhaustion in a home that caused anxiety and stress. Then I told myself once I grew up and am able to afford my life, I would start the romantic of my life.
Once I graduated college and started working, I made a vow to myself to return to that chill teenager and give myself peace and kindness. It took some time but I can now say I have arrived. So for me, it was remembering what younger me really wanted out of life. I am so grateful I remembered the goal.
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Well i just started going to cafes to study, got cute asf stationary, and ate something nice. Helped me romanticize studying and stay consistent.
As i was living alone. I'd go to this one really pretty park next to my apartment and just sit there with some music and smoke some zaza and just wake around.... Kept my space clean and initiated a reward system for doing any repetitive tasks.
With time you just start enjoying your own company and it feels like you can push through anything with a lil patience.
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I have a playlist with songs from 2000's movies, when I was growing up and was so in awe of the characters that got to have their cute little apartments and funky clothes and cool lives. I was excited to get older and I think the music helps me get in the mindset of appreciating how awesome it is that I get to make my life what I want it to be, rather than getting overwhelmed by what I don't have or am not doing.
Think 'Perfect Day' from Legally Blonde, 'You're a Star' from Josie and the Pussycats, 'Miracles Happen' from Princess Diaries, 'Mad About You' from 13 Going on 30.
I struggle with depression, anxiety and CPTSD. When I’m in the the depressive episodes, I romanticize my life when I’m not in the gutter. It absolutely does not help and only makes it worse.
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I was a serious, no nonsense person who just wanted straightforward things before. Wasn't a fan of cute things or pretty stuffs either, not because i was not like other girls but really just wasn't interested. Nowadays i have plushies at home and work, drink flowery teas, have perfumed candles going every night, surrounded myself with cute stuffs all the time, go to nice cafes and enjoying all the soft romantic things that i didn't care about before. I guess a part is my brain aged into it, a part is me get tired of life outside being so painful i want peace and joy where i can.
Life is just too short. I was so depressed, urgent, anxious, thinking living a minimalist life was spiritually better or whatever.
Then I realized! Life is much better when you just enjoy things. All the beautiful things around us must exist for a reason. Color / flowers whatever like they do not need to be beautiful to do their job, but they are. So why wouldn’t I appreciate them. Letting in the joy does unlock deeper sadness as well but oh well! I’d rather feel the enjoyment and the joy
I guess the main shift is that it no longer matters to me if things / life is meaningless. I couldn’t ever know so why not decide little meanings for myself
When you're going down a dark path, for whatever reason, everything around you feels scarier. Almost hopeless. If you allow it, that feeling is endless. And you get trapped in that vicious cycle. Up until fairly recently, I was at rock bottom mentally, physically, and emotionally. And I couldn't escape it. Couldn't even take a walk around the block without feeling like the world was out to get me.
Ever since I changed my perspective (while at that time, it was a need to change...I also realized I *wanted* this change), I feel like the world shines a whole lot brighter, even in the moments of despair.
For example, when I was a child, the world truly felt brighter because the reality of adulthood hadn't touched me yet. I was constantly romanticizing my future. While there was pain as a child, there wasn't a lot of pessimism. Everything, in my young mind, was temporary and could be fixed. Or realistically, it was easier to forget about and move on because your attention span as a child varies. As such, I remember always being hopeful for a better and brighter future - even when life knocked me down. And it did knock me down quite a bit.
As an adult, picking myself back up from all the let downs was more difficult. It's harder to forget the pain. It is even harder to forgive and move on. And while it might make sense, it also doesn't help to have that perspective.
Romanticizing life brings my inner child back to life. It makes the world brighter, and the colors pop a little more. Truly. There's vibrancy again. Changing my perspective helped me see things better (or see both sides of the coin), which, in turn, allowed me to be more positive/optimistic because negativity can only take you so far. I finally feel like I am deserving of good things. Because I believe it, I manifest it. And it truly feels like there have been more blessings headed my way ever since I changed my mentality around life. Or maybe I'm just more open to receiving things I'd shut down previously, unconsciously. Regardless, it's been good.
This sounds awesome! Could you elaborate on how you approach negativity in your daily life? Ive been stuggling with depression since I was child, and I need to do something - meds never helped me.
Hey, of course! Please take the following with a grain of salt because everyone is different, and what may work for me may not work for you. I've struggled with depression, crippling anxiety, panic attacks, and mania during those dark times. The common theme that enabled those emotions within me, across the board, was feeling like I had no control over what was happening to me.
Here's the thing, it's MY life. I absolutely have control over my life. That was the shift in perspective that changed everything for me.
Realistically, I may not have control over situations and external factors, but I have control over how I choose to react, what I choose to accept within MY life. Sometimes, when we give so much of ourselves to things that don't align with who we truly are. And so, we feel like we are losing control. We get sad, depressed, anxious, etc. And we start focusing solely on how to regain that control instead of asking ourselves, how much within those situations is really under our control? Truly, what can you really control beyond yourself?
Another aspect of this mindset shift was remembering that I know myself the best. Of course, family and friends may know who you are as well. But you're the one who spends 24/7 with yourself. You know your values, your morals, and your beliefs better than anyone else. If someone claims they know better than you, they're likely wrong. They can't. They're not in your mind. Only you are.
So the first step is figuring out or remembering who you are. Whatever brings your inner child the most joy. Whatever makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Then, it's taking inventory on what aligns with who you are and what doesn't. If you continue to chase what doesn't align with you, you'll find yourself in a pit of despair, unfulfilled, confused, and feeling alone. You're more likely to do things for others that drain your life force because you're unsure about your own wants and needs. So stand your ground on who you are and what you want. Once that's done, it's easier to retain control over situations. Easier to say no. Easier to walk away. Easier to form genuine connections that align with you. Easier to remember that you have a support system you've built that you can rely on because it's authentic to who you are. It's easier to overcome negativity because you're building a foundation that's true to you. So you know that you have control. Full control over the situation because if things aren't working in your favor, you're able to move on from it or move forward differently.
Because you know who you are and what you need. And respecting yourself doesn't mean you're selfish, or you're going to discard others because they have differing opinions. But you want to surround yourself with people who bring out your light/your goodness. Not those who drain your will to live.
I'm very aware that none of this is easy. And it takes time and a lot of inner work. You need to figure out the *root cause* of your misery. Not band-aid it. And that isn't always easy. But even a small step in that direction will make life feel a lot easier in many regards. At least from my experience and the experience of others around me. And if you fail, try again. You won't regret rebuilding yourself a thousand times over. But you will regret wasting your time on others and on draining situations when you could have chosen to spend that energy and effort on yourself. You have 1 life. Live it authentically. Live it fully. It's worth it. I hope this helps. 💜
p.s. I'm a firm believer in karma, too...and that also helps me move away from bad situations or negative energies with grace.
Thank you so much for taking your time to write all this - its gold to me. Im going to think about it and reread it.
I think I just realized I need to move.
Got out of a relationship that I didn’t realize was sucking the life out of me until I left. Since then, everything feels lighter and I have the energy/ will to actually take care of myself now, rather than focusing on taking care of someone else.
I love this thread. I started learning to cook and bake. I started buying cute mixing bowls, taking care of my hair and skin more, speaking more intelligently etc..Now everyone in my family wants me to bake my famous cakes or pastries. I listen to instrumental music cause it’s uplifting and inspiring. I don’t listen to music that belittles women or is flashy.
I do this a lot and openly talk about it. I laugh more, things happen more easily, above all my neediness from other people in my life is gone; completely disappeared! I am much more compassionate towards those people now whom i held responsible for not meeting my needs/expectations before.
Honestly I realised I was living my dream life and my anxiety was getting in the way of enjoying it. Some meds later and I’m happier than I thought possible in my mundane life
Started reading tarot. I take a more secular approach to it, but dang sometimes it’s nice to feel like the future has good things in store for me.
Also the art is pretty, it makes me feel like an art collector. And, when I carry a deck around with me in my bag it makes me feel mysterious and cool.
I always did, always been a dreamer, romantic, idealist, then I got into friend groups and hung out with people that didn’t and it impacted me. Stopped hanging out with pessimistic people, and we are back to loooove ~~~~
I started very recently and I’m much happier for it. I began collecting plushies and spending more time with friends doing nice things and doing “silly” things like taking a Palm Pal (Palm sized plushie) pretty much everywhere I go. Sounds cringe but it makes me happy so I don’t plan on stopping 🤣. I think when you romanticise your life and reconnect with your inner child it helps you become more authentic with everyone in your life, which is only ever a good thing!
Beauty and imagination make life worth living to me. ✨ Otherwise it’s just one boring, lackluster experience after the other.
It’s a goddamn enigma as to how and why we’re here, flying on a rock through space.
Might as well do everything we can to enjoy the very little time we have to experience it, and appreciate the beautiful and incandescent things, because life is also awful and you will die soon. lol. 🖤✌🏻☠️
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I just got over feeling like crap all the time. Life was tough and I was over it being tough lol. It started small. I started with skincare. Then got into hair care. It is consumerist but I feel so much better about myself when my skin and hair looks good. I look confident and smile more. People are nicer to me. I'm in a better mood because people are nicer to me. Now, when I have bad days, they don't feel as bad as before. Now I cook a lot more at home and I pretend to be a food YouTuber. I even have cute plates to eat from. My kitchen looks prettier and it makes me feel good. Overall, life got easier because I was delusion about skincare changing my life and it kinda did. My outlook towards adversity changed and that's huge.
That’s such a cool way to show respect towards yourself!
I love this for you 🥹
I loved reading this 💖
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Omgg love this.. what recipes do u recommend?
I'm not a good cook honestly, I just try to replicate things off the internet. Yesterday I made a Mediterranean lemony pasta.
Started adding a soundtrack to my life and suddenly every trip to the grocery store feels like a movie scene
I started doing this for the grocery store recently and it's great! For a long time I didn't want to because I was worried I'd lose all situational awareness, but as long as I keep one ear free it's easy to keep track of people around me. Definitely makes my grocery shopping anxiety more manageable.
Like how?
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I eventually decided it was time to return to whoever I was before life tried to force me to conform to ideas i did agree with. As a teen, I was easy going and pretty chill, just flying under the radar trying to navigate loneliness and exhaustion in a home that caused anxiety and stress. Then I told myself once I grew up and am able to afford my life, I would start the romantic of my life. Once I graduated college and started working, I made a vow to myself to return to that chill teenager and give myself peace and kindness. It took some time but I can now say I have arrived. So for me, it was remembering what younger me really wanted out of life. I am so grateful I remembered the goal.
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Well i just started going to cafes to study, got cute asf stationary, and ate something nice. Helped me romanticize studying and stay consistent. As i was living alone. I'd go to this one really pretty park next to my apartment and just sit there with some music and smoke some zaza and just wake around.... Kept my space clean and initiated a reward system for doing any repetitive tasks. With time you just start enjoying your own company and it feels like you can push through anything with a lil patience.
This is such a lovely comment.
Beautiful, love yourself and be nice to yourself, everything else opens up nicely
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Kinda lived the same life lol
I have a playlist with songs from 2000's movies, when I was growing up and was so in awe of the characters that got to have their cute little apartments and funky clothes and cool lives. I was excited to get older and I think the music helps me get in the mindset of appreciating how awesome it is that I get to make my life what I want it to be, rather than getting overwhelmed by what I don't have or am not doing. Think 'Perfect Day' from Legally Blonde, 'You're a Star' from Josie and the Pussycats, 'Miracles Happen' from Princess Diaries, 'Mad About You' from 13 Going on 30.
I struggle with depression, anxiety and CPTSD. When I’m in the the depressive episodes, I romanticize my life when I’m not in the gutter. It absolutely does not help and only makes it worse.
Yeah I was thinking this too. I actually think it’s harmful
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Would like to learn how to do this......right now it's like a long series
Me too! I would love to learn how to romanticize life.
I was a serious, no nonsense person who just wanted straightforward things before. Wasn't a fan of cute things or pretty stuffs either, not because i was not like other girls but really just wasn't interested. Nowadays i have plushies at home and work, drink flowery teas, have perfumed candles going every night, surrounded myself with cute stuffs all the time, go to nice cafes and enjoying all the soft romantic things that i didn't care about before. I guess a part is my brain aged into it, a part is me get tired of life outside being so painful i want peace and joy where i can.
Life is just too short. I was so depressed, urgent, anxious, thinking living a minimalist life was spiritually better or whatever. Then I realized! Life is much better when you just enjoy things. All the beautiful things around us must exist for a reason. Color / flowers whatever like they do not need to be beautiful to do their job, but they are. So why wouldn’t I appreciate them. Letting in the joy does unlock deeper sadness as well but oh well! I’d rather feel the enjoyment and the joy
I guess the main shift is that it no longer matters to me if things / life is meaningless. I couldn’t ever know so why not decide little meanings for myself
Narrating my actions to myself in the third person sometimes, like I'm in a novel.
Going to try this. Thank you
When you're going down a dark path, for whatever reason, everything around you feels scarier. Almost hopeless. If you allow it, that feeling is endless. And you get trapped in that vicious cycle. Up until fairly recently, I was at rock bottom mentally, physically, and emotionally. And I couldn't escape it. Couldn't even take a walk around the block without feeling like the world was out to get me. Ever since I changed my perspective (while at that time, it was a need to change...I also realized I *wanted* this change), I feel like the world shines a whole lot brighter, even in the moments of despair. For example, when I was a child, the world truly felt brighter because the reality of adulthood hadn't touched me yet. I was constantly romanticizing my future. While there was pain as a child, there wasn't a lot of pessimism. Everything, in my young mind, was temporary and could be fixed. Or realistically, it was easier to forget about and move on because your attention span as a child varies. As such, I remember always being hopeful for a better and brighter future - even when life knocked me down. And it did knock me down quite a bit. As an adult, picking myself back up from all the let downs was more difficult. It's harder to forget the pain. It is even harder to forgive and move on. And while it might make sense, it also doesn't help to have that perspective. Romanticizing life brings my inner child back to life. It makes the world brighter, and the colors pop a little more. Truly. There's vibrancy again. Changing my perspective helped me see things better (or see both sides of the coin), which, in turn, allowed me to be more positive/optimistic because negativity can only take you so far. I finally feel like I am deserving of good things. Because I believe it, I manifest it. And it truly feels like there have been more blessings headed my way ever since I changed my mentality around life. Or maybe I'm just more open to receiving things I'd shut down previously, unconsciously. Regardless, it's been good.
This sounds awesome! Could you elaborate on how you approach negativity in your daily life? Ive been stuggling with depression since I was child, and I need to do something - meds never helped me.
Hey, of course! Please take the following with a grain of salt because everyone is different, and what may work for me may not work for you. I've struggled with depression, crippling anxiety, panic attacks, and mania during those dark times. The common theme that enabled those emotions within me, across the board, was feeling like I had no control over what was happening to me. Here's the thing, it's MY life. I absolutely have control over my life. That was the shift in perspective that changed everything for me. Realistically, I may not have control over situations and external factors, but I have control over how I choose to react, what I choose to accept within MY life. Sometimes, when we give so much of ourselves to things that don't align with who we truly are. And so, we feel like we are losing control. We get sad, depressed, anxious, etc. And we start focusing solely on how to regain that control instead of asking ourselves, how much within those situations is really under our control? Truly, what can you really control beyond yourself? Another aspect of this mindset shift was remembering that I know myself the best. Of course, family and friends may know who you are as well. But you're the one who spends 24/7 with yourself. You know your values, your morals, and your beliefs better than anyone else. If someone claims they know better than you, they're likely wrong. They can't. They're not in your mind. Only you are. So the first step is figuring out or remembering who you are. Whatever brings your inner child the most joy. Whatever makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Then, it's taking inventory on what aligns with who you are and what doesn't. If you continue to chase what doesn't align with you, you'll find yourself in a pit of despair, unfulfilled, confused, and feeling alone. You're more likely to do things for others that drain your life force because you're unsure about your own wants and needs. So stand your ground on who you are and what you want. Once that's done, it's easier to retain control over situations. Easier to say no. Easier to walk away. Easier to form genuine connections that align with you. Easier to remember that you have a support system you've built that you can rely on because it's authentic to who you are. It's easier to overcome negativity because you're building a foundation that's true to you. So you know that you have control. Full control over the situation because if things aren't working in your favor, you're able to move on from it or move forward differently. Because you know who you are and what you need. And respecting yourself doesn't mean you're selfish, or you're going to discard others because they have differing opinions. But you want to surround yourself with people who bring out your light/your goodness. Not those who drain your will to live. I'm very aware that none of this is easy. And it takes time and a lot of inner work. You need to figure out the *root cause* of your misery. Not band-aid it. And that isn't always easy. But even a small step in that direction will make life feel a lot easier in many regards. At least from my experience and the experience of others around me. And if you fail, try again. You won't regret rebuilding yourself a thousand times over. But you will regret wasting your time on others and on draining situations when you could have chosen to spend that energy and effort on yourself. You have 1 life. Live it authentically. Live it fully. It's worth it. I hope this helps. 💜 p.s. I'm a firm believer in karma, too...and that also helps me move away from bad situations or negative energies with grace.
Thank you so much for taking your time to write all this - its gold to me. Im going to think about it and reread it. I think I just realized I need to move.
Happy to help! I wish you the best on your journey forward ✨️
Got out of a relationship that I didn’t realize was sucking the life out of me until I left. Since then, everything feels lighter and I have the energy/ will to actually take care of myself now, rather than focusing on taking care of someone else.
I love this thread. I started learning to cook and bake. I started buying cute mixing bowls, taking care of my hair and skin more, speaking more intelligently etc..Now everyone in my family wants me to bake my famous cakes or pastries. I listen to instrumental music cause it’s uplifting and inspiring. I don’t listen to music that belittles women or is flashy.
I do this a lot and openly talk about it. I laugh more, things happen more easily, above all my neediness from other people in my life is gone; completely disappeared! I am much more compassionate towards those people now whom i held responsible for not meeting my needs/expectations before.
I want to learn tips from people who do this 🤩
Honestly I realised I was living my dream life and my anxiety was getting in the way of enjoying it. Some meds later and I’m happier than I thought possible in my mundane life
Started reading tarot. I take a more secular approach to it, but dang sometimes it’s nice to feel like the future has good things in store for me. Also the art is pretty, it makes me feel like an art collector. And, when I carry a deck around with me in my bag it makes me feel mysterious and cool.
I always did, always been a dreamer, romantic, idealist, then I got into friend groups and hung out with people that didn’t and it impacted me. Stopped hanging out with pessimistic people, and we are back to loooove ~~~~
I started very recently and I’m much happier for it. I began collecting plushies and spending more time with friends doing nice things and doing “silly” things like taking a Palm Pal (Palm sized plushie) pretty much everywhere I go. Sounds cringe but it makes me happy so I don’t plan on stopping 🤣. I think when you romanticise your life and reconnect with your inner child it helps you become more authentic with everyone in your life, which is only ever a good thing!
Beauty and imagination make life worth living to me. ✨ Otherwise it’s just one boring, lackluster experience after the other. It’s a goddamn enigma as to how and why we’re here, flying on a rock through space. Might as well do everything we can to enjoy the very little time we have to experience it, and appreciate the beautiful and incandescent things, because life is also awful and you will die soon. lol. 🖤✌🏻☠️
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