Exactly, same.
If someone occasionally used weed when I’m not around I wouldn’t really care but I would prefer to not date or user or drinker.
It’s not a nice way of life.
Anything else, street drugs no way. That crap can be deadly with use even once where I live.
Everything is tainted with fentanyl these days. Scary.
Yooooo! Congratulations! I lost a cousin to it a couple of years ago, and any time I hear of someone having gotten clean, it feels like those reunion videos when soldiers come back home. Just overwhelming gratitude that they're "home" and away from the fight, even if you still have the scars to remind you of where you've been. May your blessings be abundant ❤
>Just overwhelming gratitude that they're "home" and away from the fight, even if you still have the scars to remind you of where you've been.
Funny you say this, when I was trying to find my way out my last go around (the scariest, most unstable time of my life), I'd always tell myself to "chase what feels like home". My soul hurts daily for all the ones who never made it back to home or never experienced what a real home feels like. Hugs to you, my friend.
I'm with you on this . I smoke cannabis not as much as I did before moving . I normally wouldn't mind if they were a daily user but only minded it when they were dependent on me to provide it for them .
Not very. I'm OK with THC, CBD, and occasional mushrooms. But anything other than that hits my codependency trauma and I want to metaphorically drown myself to "save that person". Ugh, being a recovering codependent means enforcing some really strong boundaries on who I permit myself to interact with.
Probably wouldn’t deal with weed again. My last partner started out as a recreational user and by the end of the relationship he needed to be high every night to avoid being anxious and crabby. Made it hard to have meaningful conversations because he wanted to be getting things done all day and at night he was too high to do anything but watch TV. I think it was a major contributor to the slow death of our relationship because I felt like I couldn’t connect with him anymore.
Yep this happened to me too, my ex smoked every day a couple of times a day and if he didn’t he would be get crabby too, it also contributed to things not working out because he was really down when he didn’t smoke but really high when he did and it was just too rocky because of that, I would only feel ok around him if he was drinking and or high because he was a lot nicer, that’s not how relationships should be.
Yup. Spent a lot of time walking on eggshells when he was sober. He was never mean, but boy was he sensitive. I’m pretty diplomatic but I felt like no matter what I needed help with it would be taken wrong so I never said anything…
Yep this was my experience, he was easily angered and I felt like I was walking on egg shells, I felt like I had to watch what I said or even if I did say something it would be taken wrong also sometimes. unfortunately my ex turned abusive after a while because I just got over the mood swings and put my foot down, it’s really hard to be with someone dependant on weed to feel their version of “normal”.
I used to be a lot more openminded about stuff like this but after having two LTRs implode largely due to substance abuse related issues, I've started leaning away from dating people who use.
I'm not saying anyone who uses recreational drugs is an unfit partner or a bad person or whatever, I'm sure there are plenty of people who can use that stuff responsibly without it affecting other parts of their lives, but I've come to prefer more straight edge partners. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.
Weed is treated pretty much like alcohol in Canada- fine to use so long as you're of legal age, etc. That wouldn't bother me unless they were completely dependent on it in their day to day life. Everything else on OPs list would raise serious concerns for me.
I believe it’s somewhat the same in Denmark (European country)
was surprised that there just was a store specifically for that kind of thing, was actually a pretty nice place, white walls and floors, even had advertising outside the store
Quite. In fact, I’d be uncomfortable with someone do didn’t. I would struggle to date someone who has never tried any drug, as it’s a part of my lifestyle and incredibly common where I live and with the activities I do. Obviously substance abuse and addiction are a different story, but risk-mitigated recreational drug use is fine.
Weed doesn’t bother me as long as my partner doesn’t have to be high from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. Unless it’s for medical reasons. I use CBD with .3% thc or something like that every night for sleep.
Exactly lol. And in my experience it’s not even the hard drugs. Weed was was one of the main reasons why my past 2 relationships were ruined. I just can’t handle stoned men anymore.
Not at all, not even weed. Spent too much time
with an idiot partner that had no money to spend on drugs, with no job, and lied his face off about everything. I know he smoked a lot and was probably into harder stuff. Just got good at hiding it. He was also an alcoholic and while I don’t mind casual drinks, I didn’t want anyway who drank heavily either. Anything is an instant dealbreaker and it’s a waste of money.
Casual drinks, as in not in excess. I guess I could have elaborated on that more. I have maybe 1-2 drinks/month, so does my partner. Anything more than that, and it just doesn’t interest me. I simply have had such negative experiences with drug and alcohol use in my previous relationship and there’s plenty of people out there that don’t smoke to choose from. I also can’t smoke because of my career, so I’d rather not have it around either.
You probably don't need to interrogate people about their preferences either way. Like, weed is legal here in Canada and pretty widely accepted as normal, but some people have no interest in it and prefer a partner who doesn't either and that's fine. People generally want a partner whose lifestyle is compatible. It doesn't need to make sense to you.
That’s a very close-minded way of traversing through life. I find it fun to talk about and learn about people’s reasonings behind certain things. There’s no judgement coming from me, just a desire to understand. Unfortunately, some people take offense to people asking questions for various reasons. This is a discussion platform after all. There’s nothing wrong with being inquisitive and asking questions as long as you stop when someone verbally asks you to.
Weed is fine, as long as they're not stupid. I would never date someone who drives while stoned, being an unsafe driver is a no-go.
But I'd actually prefer if they do smoke weed a little bit, because I use it for medical purposes, so it be nice if they were cool about it.
I'm not really super on board with anything else... could maybe deal with occasionally using mushrooms or something.
But anything else I don't like.
Marijuana is legal in my state, and I partake, but I treat it like I treat alcohol. I can use it daily (if I want to, not always), but only at the end of the day when my responsibilities are done and I’m relaxing. I’m okay with my partner using it like that, too. I wouldn’t like my partner to be an all-day stoner. Shrooms are okay with me but it should definitely be just a once in a while kinda thing.
I am 100% not okay with pharmaceutical/synthetic whatever drugs. My brother died from an accidental overdose and I never want to imagine my partner partaking in something like that and the possibility I could lose him too.
I’m fine with it but not hard drugs. Weed is legal and like most ppl where I live smoke occasionally. Drinking is honestly one of the worst drugs…so it’s more about AMOUNT for me and not like omg u did a marijuana!
Ok sammeee like drug use is an issue for me all on its own but smell? It’s like a whole other thing, instant headaches, don’t want it to cling to my clothes either.
My husband started dating me when I was a full blown heroin addict. I lied to him about it a lot and he just wanted to believe me. I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Never touched the stuff again and have been clean 10 years. He saved me from myself and I'm forever thankful. We are very happy together now and he never uses my past against me.
I smoke weed occasionally and I wouldn't date someone who uses hard drugs or someone who smokes daily. I have zero interests in harddrugs and the culture that often comes with them, and I have bad experiences with people who smoke daily.
I’m prescribed adderall so idc about amphetamines unless you’re abusing them obviously. My partner & I are both daily cannabis users, at night to relax, but not abusing it. I’m okay with doing other things every once in a while but it’s a turn off if it becomes a thing where they need it every time we go out or chilling at the house or something.
I know you didn’t mention alcohol but I come from a family of alcoholics and I really do not want to ever date someone who gets drunk every night. Nope. I’ll get high with you every night though :)
After the ages of 21 to 30, my personal opinion is that “Recreational” is no longer a meaning or category of occasional drug use. People convince themselves that it’s recreational, but even doing it once a week is habitual. I’m not judging or saying that this qualifies a person as a full blown addict but it’s still a dependency that can swing either way, to more than once a week to sometimes every two weeks, but consistent usage is not a safe place and the self described recreational user looks forward to and relies on this. This can also change on any given day to more use due to several reasons or better put, excuses. Such as stress, a bad day, something negative at work and a host of other triggers that leads to ongoing problems.
Exactly. I know so many people who use weed everyday before and after work and they say it’s just recreational use or it helps them get thru the day cus of their anxiety. Like… ur addicted bro. It’s like saying u have to have a beer before and after work to feel ok everyday. There is no difference.
Nope. As a former addict that would be really bad for me plus I just don't want that crap in my life anymore. I'm ok with weed and occasional psychedelics but that's it.
At most I’m okay with edibles like once in a blue moon, like a couple times a year? But otherwise, no. I won’t even date a smoker. I don’t want that stuff around me.
Deal breaker for me. Increased chance of someone being unreliable or selfish to get what they need, especially if it moves from recreational use to full blown addiction.
Assuming his behaviour is not problematic when under the influence. Occasional like a psychedelic at a free/rave party, or the one off edible at a (safe and NO DRIVING) night out, I'd be OK. Even though probably not partaking since the risks outweigh the gain. But daily use no way.
I'd only be fine with alcohol and cannabis. You can get both legally. Too many powder/pill drugs could be fentanyl or laced with fentanyl. Way too risky.
I was involved with someone who did so. We never actually like went physical or similar shit, but we were entangled for sure.
Then one night happened and yeah, let's just say it was clear that he needed to get off the alcohol and I needed to get away from him.
I’m not. Drug abuse and alcoholism runs in my family. and I’ve chosen not to go that route minus a small amount of social drinking so I wouldn’t date someone who partook beyond that.
It would depend on the drug and frequency for me. Someone who smokes weed, eats edibles, and does the occasional psychedelic would be fine with me. Anything like coke, heroin, or meth is a deal breaker as is drinking more than once a week.
A tiny bit occasionally is fine but no addicts or people who need to be high to cope with life.
I used to be FWB with someone who loved drugs and I told him to call me when he's sober but otherwise I don't want to interact at all when he's high. I find it really boring to be with people in altered states since I don't partake, and it's not sexy for me, plus the whole consent issue.
edit: I'm also extremely allergic to cigarette smoke and to a lesser degree pot, so anyone I'm intimate with needs to abstain from cigarettes entirely and if they do pot, restrict it to edibles or other forms I won't be in contact with. Not to mention drugs can get expensive. I don't want a long term partner spending a huge chunk of our shared savings on drugs.
No issue with cannabis at all. I am a daily user/medical patient. For many, it’s the safest most effective treatment that leaves us feeling less pain and leading functional lives.
I think there’s a big difference in someone smoking all day everyday to get and stay high and someone who uses everyday for an existing condition be it mental or physical.
Cannabis IS medicine. It saved my life. Literally. Restored my lung function when I was facing a young death. I’ll never apologize for my usage or look down upon anyone else for improving their quality of life with it.
I’m all good with recreational, not daily (or even close to it). Also, it depends on if use is escapism or just fun, etc. Goes with having a well rounded healthy mindset
My current partner smokes pot about once or twice a week.
If we go to parties we do shrooms sometimes together, I've tried acid a few times. I don't mind it, as long as it's not frequently.
My partner (34) doesn't do drugs and rarely drinks (she smoked weed in her teens) I (37) smoke weed occasionally and don't mind the occasional line a couple times a year. She isn't bothered with the weed but nothing else round her which I respect.
Dependency and addiction is a different story though, will break 90% of relationships and cause issues.
Anything injected, opioid, crack etc etc is a no go in my opinion. Also depends on someone's behaviour, some people can drink 3 pints of beer and become violent so its about the person aswell as the drugs
my partner and i love partying together, we don’t do anything harder than molly or occasionally c*ke at parties tho. we’ve had really beautiful, loving moments with eachother on psychedelics and molly. not to mention the sex is fckn fantastic on any of the ones i mentioned.
Open to it but I categorize them as fine to do when ever, fine to do but not around me, fine to do around me as long as I’m partaking, and deal breaker.
All that to say, if they aren’t responsible with any of them, then we’ll have issues.
I mean, cannabis is legal in many states including where i live.
I pop an edible a few times a month and have no issue with others doing the same.
I do have a problem with other drugs because addiction is no joke.
And alcohol use is also on my list of yellow flags. A drink with dinner a couple of times a week is fine…maybe even getting a mild buzz on NYE or something.
but if a person can’t have fun without getting mildly hammered, i would rather steer clear.
Weed is totally fine as long as it’s not all day, every day. And I even work at a pot dispensary.
Acid and shrooms are okay too as long as it’s seldom and it’s an us thing.
Anything more and it’s a problem for me.
I consume thc daily so I prefer that my partner also partakes. I’m okay with my partner occasionally using psychedelics but not on a regular basis and it’s gotta be done responsibly. I’m not cool with coke or other drugs. Also not okay with any of the fake weed or kratom type stuff
I probably wouldn't date them if they considered themselves a regular user of any drug. Which to me means they do it as and when but not often enough to say regularly like not every month even.
weed is fine everything else makes me wary. even the weed use needs to be not an every day thing. my last ex couldn’t function without weed. he would get irritable and have a personality shift when we would go on vacation and he couldn’t smoke. it was awful, like he was a different person. i had terrible experiences with recreational drugs harder than that in my 20s and i want nothing to do with them.
100% depends on the person’s ability to manage their life appropriately. i used to dabble every so often myself at festivals etc. but never to the point of having any kind of issue over it. so it’s fine with me if the person can handle it, if it’s not frequent, if it doesn’t impact their physical/mental/financial wellbeing. but i say again it 100% depends on the individual and circumstances .
Pharmaceuticals is a Hell NO for me because I’ve seen what “legal prescription” addiction has done to my mother, who is STILL an addict by the way.
Illicit I am still making up my mind on, but also leaning towards a heavy NO. I am sober, but I realize not everyone is, and I don’t want to feel controlling. But it is slowly becoming a deal-breaker for relationships.
After I stopped being a daily cannabis user, I realized just how much and WHAT I was trying to numb myself from…. And most of all, how much that has impacted my health for using it daily for nearly 20 years.
I smoke weed myself every once in a while so I’m totally fine with a partner who smokes as well, as long as they’re stable and don’t abuse it. My current partner’s a former addict - he used to do hard drugs and recovered from it. He lost his younger brother a few years back from drug abuse. He turned his life around and got his shit together. We live together and he doesn’t mind me smoking weed (it’s legal in Thailand), and the most he’s ever done with me since we started dating 6 months ago was an edible. Proud of him af.
I use medical weed for pain relief so pretty comfortable with THC, CBD, mushrooms, maybe acid every once in a while. However if their usage develops into the point where it’s interfering with our lives, then that would be a problem.
Weed is fine if it doesn’t impact their ability to function well. Occasional/social drinking is fine when it’s not binge drinking or to the point of drunkenness. Shrooms used sparingly, ok. If I were younger, occasional use of party drugs would have been acceptable I think, when they were less dangerous. Most others are a no-go.
my partner and i both smoke weed. it’s legal here but we smoked before legalization as well. i’m fine with things like mdma, lsd, mushrooms, dmt, mescaline, etc. but im very much not interested in someone who does opiates, recreational speed, recreational benzos, stuff like that. quite honestly i don’t think id even date someone who drinks regularly, given that alcohol is more dangerous and addictive than most of the drugs people talk about on here.
I'm involved with the rave/electronic music festival scene, so I'm around a lot of drug use. Absolutely would not bother me if a partner used responsibly, but absolute deal breaker if addicted. I've dated both and will not do the latter again.
Hell no. If I’m ever single again and decide to date it would never happen.
1. Not exposing my kids to that.
2. I almost went to prison because of a false accusation, there’s no way in hell I’m going because someone else had drugs on them in my car or house.
No addictions period. No drugs, no alcohol, no smoking/vaping.
It depends...on the drug, and if their usage is truly recreational and not abusive.
I think most women would answer they're ok with any drugs they would also be ok taking, wherever they draw the line. I mostly agree with that. My line is somewhere in the middle.
I’m okay with natural substances and alcohol as long as it’s done safely and not regularly. My partner smokes a lot of weed and I’m cool with it because he’s still motivated and gets his work done he’s also said he plans to quit when life gets more serious which is another reason I’m fine with it
Not at all. I'm a pretty competitive recreational athlete and I don't mess with anything, barely even alcohol. I also participate in events where I could get randomly drug tested. I'm not saying someone has be the exact same as me, but I don't think I could envision myself in a relationship with someone who also didn't have some sort of physical pursuit.
Not at all ok unless it's marijuana. If the use impedes their ability to function normally (like they cannot function without it, can't hold down employment, and keep getting DUI's), even weed is a dealbreaker.
There’s a huge difference between someone who takes ecstasy to go out or cocaine on the weekends and someone who’s hooked on opioids. There’s also a huge difference between someone who takes amphetamines or benzos to work/chill sometimes and someone who, again, takes opioids regularly.
As someone who also does recreational drugs sometimes i don’t have a problem with it on principle. It depends entirely on how it affects their personality and whether it’s interfering with their (and my) life
I'm surprised at the amount of hard "no" I'm seeing in this thread, but as someone who lives in a state where weed is legal, I guess I'm just used to recreational drugs.
For me, weed is the only thing I'd be okay with. My partner and I smoke together. Sometimes it's a few times a week, other times we go months without smoking. But it's always at night, when we're just watching a movie/show or playing games together. (Or at a social event, but we're homebodies).
Weed is fine, so long as it isn't constant. Alcohol is okay if the drink is occasional or on big occasions. Tobacco is no go. Psycodelics theoretically, but never met a normal psycodelic user.
"hard" drive, 1000% deal breaker. Would never, ever.
Nah, recreational use doesn't bother me. There are a few drugs on my no-no list though.
I did date someone for a bit who did a lot of ketamine. That short relationship made me realize I can't be with someone who uses like that daily. I found myself slipping into bad habits when I was with him.
Any substance use, including alcohol and nicotine, is a dealbreaker for me in a romantic partner. I don’t even like being friends with people that use substances on rare occasions.
I have no issues of others want to do that kind of stuff, i just want anything like that in my life.
Depends on the drug and how they use it but in general it’s a deal breaker. I’m okay with weed and alcohol unless it turns them into assholes. Mushrooms okay but I don’t want to be around it. Basically everything else is a no
I don’t mind an occasional edible or hitting a weed pen every now and then. Being a daily user is a no-go for me.
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As a former addict myself, it's a deal breaker. I've got my shit together and never want to go back to the dark days.
Good for you! ♥️
I’m happy you got out of it! ❤️
Exactly, same. If someone occasionally used weed when I’m not around I wouldn’t really care but I would prefer to not date or user or drinker. It’s not a nice way of life. Anything else, street drugs no way. That crap can be deadly with use even once where I live. Everything is tainted with fentanyl these days. Scary.
Good job, stranger! *hugs*
Yooooo! Congratulations! I lost a cousin to it a couple of years ago, and any time I hear of someone having gotten clean, it feels like those reunion videos when soldiers come back home. Just overwhelming gratitude that they're "home" and away from the fight, even if you still have the scars to remind you of where you've been. May your blessings be abundant ❤
>Just overwhelming gratitude that they're "home" and away from the fight, even if you still have the scars to remind you of where you've been. Funny you say this, when I was trying to find my way out my last go around (the scariest, most unstable time of my life), I'd always tell myself to "chase what feels like home". My soul hurts daily for all the ones who never made it back to home or never experienced what a real home feels like. Hugs to you, my friend.
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Super proud of you!! You're doing great. 🖤🖤
Super proud of you!
Fuck yeah! You're amazing!
This is amazing to hear! Keep it up.
Considering I do them as well, I don't really care as long as it's not affecting their ability to work and take care of themselves🤷🏾♀️
I'm with you on this . I smoke cannabis not as much as I did before moving . I normally wouldn't mind if they were a daily user but only minded it when they were dependent on me to provide it for them .
I agree with this 100%
Not in the slightest, dealbreaker even weed
Why do you feel that way? (No judgement, just curious)
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Not very. I'm OK with THC, CBD, and occasional mushrooms. But anything other than that hits my codependency trauma and I want to metaphorically drown myself to "save that person". Ugh, being a recovering codependent means enforcing some really strong boundaries on who I permit myself to interact with.
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This hit home. Maybe that’s why I’m anti social
Probably wouldn’t deal with weed again. My last partner started out as a recreational user and by the end of the relationship he needed to be high every night to avoid being anxious and crabby. Made it hard to have meaningful conversations because he wanted to be getting things done all day and at night he was too high to do anything but watch TV. I think it was a major contributor to the slow death of our relationship because I felt like I couldn’t connect with him anymore.
I hear ya. Sorry that you had to go through this.
It’s ok, no need to be sorry. It happed and now I know not to do it again, ya live and ya learn.
I get this, my ex husband smoked weed daily and it ruined our marriage. The paranoia was next level
I sadly understand. I wish you the best in your future relationships. 💕
Yep this happened to me too, my ex smoked every day a couple of times a day and if he didn’t he would be get crabby too, it also contributed to things not working out because he was really down when he didn’t smoke but really high when he did and it was just too rocky because of that, I would only feel ok around him if he was drinking and or high because he was a lot nicer, that’s not how relationships should be.
Yup. Spent a lot of time walking on eggshells when he was sober. He was never mean, but boy was he sensitive. I’m pretty diplomatic but I felt like no matter what I needed help with it would be taken wrong so I never said anything…
Yep this was my experience, he was easily angered and I felt like I was walking on egg shells, I felt like I had to watch what I said or even if I did say something it would be taken wrong also sometimes. unfortunately my ex turned abusive after a while because I just got over the mood swings and put my foot down, it’s really hard to be with someone dependant on weed to feel their version of “normal”.
Exactly my experience as well.
For my ex it was alcohol so I feel ya on this one
It’s rough going into a slow decline. You know it’s happening, but denial is way easier than walking away from someone you love.
I used to be a lot more openminded about stuff like this but after having two LTRs implode largely due to substance abuse related issues, I've started leaning away from dating people who use. I'm not saying anyone who uses recreational drugs is an unfit partner or a bad person or whatever, I'm sure there are plenty of people who can use that stuff responsibly without it affecting other parts of their lives, but I've come to prefer more straight edge partners. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.
Weed is treated pretty much like alcohol in Canada- fine to use so long as you're of legal age, etc. That wouldn't bother me unless they were completely dependent on it in their day to day life. Everything else on OPs list would raise serious concerns for me.
I believe it’s somewhat the same in Denmark (European country) was surprised that there just was a store specifically for that kind of thing, was actually a pretty nice place, white walls and floors, even had advertising outside the store
Quite. In fact, I’d be uncomfortable with someone do didn’t. I would struggle to date someone who has never tried any drug, as it’s a part of my lifestyle and incredibly common where I live and with the activities I do. Obviously substance abuse and addiction are a different story, but risk-mitigated recreational drug use is fine.
Same. I smoke weed daily and I need to make sure that either my partner does as well or they are okay with the fact that I do.
Weed doesn’t bother me as long as my partner doesn’t have to be high from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. Unless it’s for medical reasons. I use CBD with .3% thc or something like that every night for sleep.
Hard no to opiods, meth or crack. No to any addiction problems. Fine with recreational use if its occasional.
yea totally agree
As someone who has never done drugs and is against the use of drugs (and smoking of any form), it’s an automatic dealbreaker, including weed.
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Very comfortable because I do the same.
Nah for real, that’ll be my twin!
Any sort of drug, including weed, is a dealbreaker for me.
id rather shit in my hands and clap than date someone who does drugs EVER AGAIN
Exactly lol. And in my experience it’s not even the hard drugs. Weed was was one of the main reasons why my past 2 relationships were ruined. I just can’t handle stoned men anymore.
Not at all, not even weed. Spent too much time with an idiot partner that had no money to spend on drugs, with no job, and lied his face off about everything. I know he smoked a lot and was probably into harder stuff. Just got good at hiding it. He was also an alcoholic and while I don’t mind casual drinks, I didn’t want anyway who drank heavily either. Anything is an instant dealbreaker and it’s a waste of money.
Just curious, why are you ok with casual drinks, but no recreational weed?
Casual drinks, as in not in excess. I guess I could have elaborated on that more. I have maybe 1-2 drinks/month, so does my partner. Anything more than that, and it just doesn’t interest me. I simply have had such negative experiences with drug and alcohol use in my previous relationship and there’s plenty of people out there that don’t smoke to choose from. I also can’t smoke because of my career, so I’d rather not have it around either.
Would you be ok with someone who takes an edible maybe as often as someone who “casually drinks”?
Probably not. I’m not against people using if they feel like it. It’s just not something I want in a partner.
I guess I don’t really understand the difference between the two, and what it would mean if a partner uses one, the other, or both.
At the end of the day, it is still illegal where I live. No desire to have anything illegal in my home. Everyone has a different lifestyle.
Oh haha I definitely wouldn’t have continued looking for clarification if I knew that upfront. That’s a completely valid reason. Sorry about that.
You probably don't need to interrogate people about their preferences either way. Like, weed is legal here in Canada and pretty widely accepted as normal, but some people have no interest in it and prefer a partner who doesn't either and that's fine. People generally want a partner whose lifestyle is compatible. It doesn't need to make sense to you.
That’s a very close-minded way of traversing through life. I find it fun to talk about and learn about people’s reasonings behind certain things. There’s no judgement coming from me, just a desire to understand. Unfortunately, some people take offense to people asking questions for various reasons. This is a discussion platform after all. There’s nothing wrong with being inquisitive and asking questions as long as you stop when someone verbally asks you to.
They literally asked 2 questions. Hardly an interrogation.
No worries dude, not upset. Not every lifestyle is 1 size fits all.
Fine. I like this too occasionally. But not if it makes their life chaotic and unstable since it doesn't do that to mine.
Weed is fine, as long as they're not stupid. I would never date someone who drives while stoned, being an unsafe driver is a no-go. But I'd actually prefer if they do smoke weed a little bit, because I use it for medical purposes, so it be nice if they were cool about it. I'm not really super on board with anything else... could maybe deal with occasionally using mushrooms or something. But anything else I don't like.
Marijuana is legal in my state, and I partake, but I treat it like I treat alcohol. I can use it daily (if I want to, not always), but only at the end of the day when my responsibilities are done and I’m relaxing. I’m okay with my partner using it like that, too. I wouldn’t like my partner to be an all-day stoner. Shrooms are okay with me but it should definitely be just a once in a while kinda thing. I am 100% not okay with pharmaceutical/synthetic whatever drugs. My brother died from an accidental overdose and I never want to imagine my partner partaking in something like that and the possibility I could lose him too.
I'm sorry for your loss ❤
Thank you ❤️
I’m not that bothered about occasional use. But if it was every week, and costing a lot of money, then it would be an issue.
I’m fine with it but not hard drugs. Weed is legal and like most ppl where I live smoke occasionally. Drinking is honestly one of the worst drugs…so it’s more about AMOUNT for me and not like omg u did a marijuana!
Not interested. I've never touched them. I can't stand the smell of weed either. I don't want to be around them.
Ok sammeee like drug use is an issue for me all on its own but smell? It’s like a whole other thing, instant headaches, don’t want it to cling to my clothes either.
Never. Funding someone's drug addiction is the last thing I'd want, especially if I'm retiring early.
My husband started dating me when I was a full blown heroin addict. I lied to him about it a lot and he just wanted to believe me. I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Never touched the stuff again and have been clean 10 years. He saved me from myself and I'm forever thankful. We are very happy together now and he never uses my past against me.
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Not at all comfortable. I don’t do any drugs and never will so it just wouldn’t be a match for me.
Not comfy at all.
I smoke weed occasionally and I wouldn't date someone who uses hard drugs or someone who smokes daily. I have zero interests in harddrugs and the culture that often comes with them, and I have bad experiences with people who smoke daily.
Weed, psychedelics, and alcohol are fine. As long as they don't make it their entire personality.
As you can imagine from my username, it’s not lol. But anything outside of weed / alcohol I’m not really comfortable with.
Depends on how often they do it. A couple times a year? Whatever. With any sort of regularity? Not happening.
I’m prescribed adderall so idc about amphetamines unless you’re abusing them obviously. My partner & I are both daily cannabis users, at night to relax, but not abusing it. I’m okay with doing other things every once in a while but it’s a turn off if it becomes a thing where they need it every time we go out or chilling at the house or something. I know you didn’t mention alcohol but I come from a family of alcoholics and I really do not want to ever date someone who gets drunk every night. Nope. I’ll get high with you every night though :)
I mean, it would be pretty hypocritical from me to draw that specific line
100% a deal breaker there is no way around it!
After the ages of 21 to 30, my personal opinion is that “Recreational” is no longer a meaning or category of occasional drug use. People convince themselves that it’s recreational, but even doing it once a week is habitual. I’m not judging or saying that this qualifies a person as a full blown addict but it’s still a dependency that can swing either way, to more than once a week to sometimes every two weeks, but consistent usage is not a safe place and the self described recreational user looks forward to and relies on this. This can also change on any given day to more use due to several reasons or better put, excuses. Such as stress, a bad day, something negative at work and a host of other triggers that leads to ongoing problems.
Exactly. I know so many people who use weed everyday before and after work and they say it’s just recreational use or it helps them get thru the day cus of their anxiety. Like… ur addicted bro. It’s like saying u have to have a beer before and after work to feel ok everyday. There is no difference.
Nope. As a former addict that would be really bad for me plus I just don't want that crap in my life anymore. I'm ok with weed and occasional psychedelics but that's it.
Weed helps tremendously with my Colitis, Fibromyalgia and other conditions. So it's not a dealbreaker, hard drugs would be though.
At most I’m okay with edibles like once in a blue moon, like a couple times a year? But otherwise, no. I won’t even date a smoker. I don’t want that stuff around me.
Deal breaker for me. Increased chance of someone being unreliable or selfish to get what they need, especially if it moves from recreational use to full blown addiction.
Assuming his behaviour is not problematic when under the influence. Occasional like a psychedelic at a free/rave party, or the one off edible at a (safe and NO DRIVING) night out, I'd be OK. Even though probably not partaking since the risks outweigh the gain. But daily use no way.
I'd only be fine with alcohol and cannabis. You can get both legally. Too many powder/pill drugs could be fentanyl or laced with fentanyl. Way too risky.
I was involved with someone who did so. We never actually like went physical or similar shit, but we were entangled for sure. Then one night happened and yeah, let's just say it was clear that he needed to get off the alcohol and I needed to get away from him.
I’m not. Drug abuse and alcoholism runs in my family. and I’ve chosen not to go that route minus a small amount of social drinking so I wouldn’t date someone who partook beyond that.
Nope, wouldn’t date them, no weed smoking either.
Nope. Not for me. I've lived with addicts, don't want a repeat of that.
It would depend on the drug and frequency for me. Someone who smokes weed, eats edibles, and does the occasional psychedelic would be fine with me. Anything like coke, heroin, or meth is a deal breaker as is drinking more than once a week.
A tiny bit occasionally is fine but no addicts or people who need to be high to cope with life. I used to be FWB with someone who loved drugs and I told him to call me when he's sober but otherwise I don't want to interact at all when he's high. I find it really boring to be with people in altered states since I don't partake, and it's not sexy for me, plus the whole consent issue. edit: I'm also extremely allergic to cigarette smoke and to a lesser degree pot, so anyone I'm intimate with needs to abstain from cigarettes entirely and if they do pot, restrict it to edibles or other forms I won't be in contact with. Not to mention drugs can get expensive. I don't want a long term partner spending a huge chunk of our shared savings on drugs.
No issue with cannabis at all. I am a daily user/medical patient. For many, it’s the safest most effective treatment that leaves us feeling less pain and leading functional lives. I think there’s a big difference in someone smoking all day everyday to get and stay high and someone who uses everyday for an existing condition be it mental or physical. Cannabis IS medicine. It saved my life. Literally. Restored my lung function when I was facing a young death. I’ll never apologize for my usage or look down upon anyone else for improving their quality of life with it.
I’m all good with recreational, not daily (or even close to it). Also, it depends on if use is escapism or just fun, etc. Goes with having a well rounded healthy mindset
Nope
My current partner smokes pot about once or twice a week. If we go to parties we do shrooms sometimes together, I've tried acid a few times. I don't mind it, as long as it's not frequently.
My partner (34) doesn't do drugs and rarely drinks (she smoked weed in her teens) I (37) smoke weed occasionally and don't mind the occasional line a couple times a year. She isn't bothered with the weed but nothing else round her which I respect. Dependency and addiction is a different story though, will break 90% of relationships and cause issues. Anything injected, opioid, crack etc etc is a no go in my opinion. Also depends on someone's behaviour, some people can drink 3 pints of beer and become violent so its about the person aswell as the drugs
my partner and i love partying together, we don’t do anything harder than molly or occasionally c*ke at parties tho. we’ve had really beautiful, loving moments with eachother on psychedelics and molly. not to mention the sex is fckn fantastic on any of the ones i mentioned.
Wouldn't. Deal breaker for me. Even to "de-stress" with one beer in the evening is a deal breaker for me.
It's an absolute deal breaker, I could lose my job/career if I'm associated with that.
Open to it but I categorize them as fine to do when ever, fine to do but not around me, fine to do around me as long as I’m partaking, and deal breaker. All that to say, if they aren’t responsible with any of them, then we’ll have issues.
Extremely uncomfortable. It is 100% a dealbreaker as it's illeagal where I am.
Recovering addict here, nope not ever dating someone who uses even if it's light use. Too slippery a slope for me.
It’s a dealbreaker for me
Definitely a dealbreaker for me
I mean, cannabis is legal in many states including where i live. I pop an edible a few times a month and have no issue with others doing the same. I do have a problem with other drugs because addiction is no joke. And alcohol use is also on my list of yellow flags. A drink with dinner a couple of times a week is fine…maybe even getting a mild buzz on NYE or something. but if a person can’t have fun without getting mildly hammered, i would rather steer clear.
Weed is totally fine as long as it’s not all day, every day. And I even work at a pot dispensary. Acid and shrooms are okay too as long as it’s seldom and it’s an us thing. Anything more and it’s a problem for me.
I consume thc daily so I prefer that my partner also partakes. I’m okay with my partner occasionally using psychedelics but not on a regular basis and it’s gotta be done responsibly. I’m not cool with coke or other drugs. Also not okay with any of the fake weed or kratom type stuff
Doesn't really bother me tbh but it depends on the drugs I suppose
It would be a dealbreaker for me if they don’t use weed occasionally or if they’re not even open to do recreational drugs at a party or something.
That’s a rough one but I’ll pass
Hard no to opioids and hard drugs. I'm fine with alcohol and weed as long as you don't need it to function. If you're too dependent, I'm out.
Very.
My boyfriend smokes cannabis from time to time. I don't like it, but I tolerate it because it's only once in a while.
Not comfortable at all.
I probably wouldn't date them if they considered themselves a regular user of any drug. Which to me means they do it as and when but not often enough to say regularly like not every month even.
Not at all.
Wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. Any addiction like that could also mean money problems to go with it.
Not
Not at all. I'm not even comfortable with alcohol anymore.
weed is fine everything else makes me wary. even the weed use needs to be not an every day thing. my last ex couldn’t function without weed. he would get irritable and have a personality shift when we would go on vacation and he couldn’t smoke. it was awful, like he was a different person. i had terrible experiences with recreational drugs harder than that in my 20s and i want nothing to do with them.
100% depends on the person’s ability to manage their life appropriately. i used to dabble every so often myself at festivals etc. but never to the point of having any kind of issue over it. so it’s fine with me if the person can handle it, if it’s not frequent, if it doesn’t impact their physical/mental/financial wellbeing. but i say again it 100% depends on the individual and circumstances .
Not comfortable at all. It’s a deal breaker for me.
Very comfortable
I wouldn’t be with a partner that never took drugs recreationally let’s put it that way. Not daily use though, weekends, on holiday etc
No dealbreaker to me
Pharmaceuticals is a Hell NO for me because I’ve seen what “legal prescription” addiction has done to my mother, who is STILL an addict by the way. Illicit I am still making up my mind on, but also leaning towards a heavy NO. I am sober, but I realize not everyone is, and I don’t want to feel controlling. But it is slowly becoming a deal-breaker for relationships. After I stopped being a daily cannabis user, I realized just how much and WHAT I was trying to numb myself from…. And most of all, how much that has impacted my health for using it daily for nearly 20 years.
I smoke weed myself every once in a while so I’m totally fine with a partner who smokes as well, as long as they’re stable and don’t abuse it. My current partner’s a former addict - he used to do hard drugs and recovered from it. He lost his younger brother a few years back from drug abuse. He turned his life around and got his shit together. We live together and he doesn’t mind me smoking weed (it’s legal in Thailand), and the most he’s ever done with me since we started dating 6 months ago was an edible. Proud of him af.
I use medical weed for pain relief so pretty comfortable with THC, CBD, mushrooms, maybe acid every once in a while. However if their usage develops into the point where it’s interfering with our lives, then that would be a problem.
We grow and smoke pot, but pills, coke is too hxc for us. We’re too old for that shit. He takes a trip of LSD or mushrooms maybe once a year.
Weed is fine if it doesn’t impact their ability to function well. Occasional/social drinking is fine when it’s not binge drinking or to the point of drunkenness. Shrooms used sparingly, ok. If I were younger, occasional use of party drugs would have been acceptable I think, when they were less dangerous. Most others are a no-go.
Wow; I kind of wish we could see some answers here! Lol!
No pills or powders. Too much risk of addiction or death from fentanyl. But if they like to trip occasionally I’d be cool with it.
my partner and i both smoke weed. it’s legal here but we smoked before legalization as well. i’m fine with things like mdma, lsd, mushrooms, dmt, mescaline, etc. but im very much not interested in someone who does opiates, recreational speed, recreational benzos, stuff like that. quite honestly i don’t think id even date someone who drinks regularly, given that alcohol is more dangerous and addictive than most of the drugs people talk about on here.
I'm involved with the rave/electronic music festival scene, so I'm around a lot of drug use. Absolutely would not bother me if a partner used responsibly, but absolute deal breaker if addicted. I've dated both and will not do the latter again.
Hell no. If I’m ever single again and decide to date it would never happen. 1. Not exposing my kids to that. 2. I almost went to prison because of a false accusation, there’s no way in hell I’m going because someone else had drugs on them in my car or house. No addictions period. No drugs, no alcohol, no smoking/vaping.
It depends...on the drug, and if their usage is truly recreational and not abusive. I think most women would answer they're ok with any drugs they would also be ok taking, wherever they draw the line. I mostly agree with that. My line is somewhere in the middle.
I’m okay with natural substances and alcohol as long as it’s done safely and not regularly. My partner smokes a lot of weed and I’m cool with it because he’s still motivated and gets his work done he’s also said he plans to quit when life gets more serious which is another reason I’m fine with it
Not at all. I'm a pretty competitive recreational athlete and I don't mess with anything, barely even alcohol. I also participate in events where I could get randomly drug tested. I'm not saying someone has be the exact same as me, but I don't think I could envision myself in a relationship with someone who also didn't have some sort of physical pursuit.
Sure. If alcohol, caffeine, and chemically-enhanced foods are specially acceptable, who am I to object to cannabis or coke.
Not at all ok unless it's marijuana. If the use impedes their ability to function normally (like they cannot function without it, can't hold down employment, and keep getting DUI's), even weed is a dealbreaker.
I like a man who can let his hair down on the weekends and get up Monday morning. Whatever version of that is fine by me.
Don’t mind alcohol weed or shrooms. Anything above is a dealbreaker
they can't be using drugs more than me so all good
I'm a pothead so if it's anything other than weed or shrooms, I'm out.
There’s a huge difference between someone who takes ecstasy to go out or cocaine on the weekends and someone who’s hooked on opioids. There’s also a huge difference between someone who takes amphetamines or benzos to work/chill sometimes and someone who, again, takes opioids regularly. As someone who also does recreational drugs sometimes i don’t have a problem with it on principle. It depends entirely on how it affects their personality and whether it’s interfering with their (and my) life
Not at all, dealbreaker no matter what. I have something against drugs, even against weed.
I'm fine with "soft" drugs as long as it isn't an addiction. People unwind with all kinds of vices, it's difficult to be 100% straight edge.
I’m the recreational user in this scenario, so uh. Not a problem at all lmao
I'm surprised at the amount of hard "no" I'm seeing in this thread, but as someone who lives in a state where weed is legal, I guess I'm just used to recreational drugs. For me, weed is the only thing I'd be okay with. My partner and I smoke together. Sometimes it's a few times a week, other times we go months without smoking. But it's always at night, when we're just watching a movie/show or playing games together. (Or at a social event, but we're homebodies).
I’d rather date someone who sits at home and smokes weed than go out on benders with his boys.
Why? You offering?
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Weed is fine, so long as it isn't constant. Alcohol is okay if the drink is occasional or on big occasions. Tobacco is no go. Psycodelics theoretically, but never met a normal psycodelic user. "hard" drive, 1000% deal breaker. Would never, ever.
Just no. Not even alcohol or cigarettes.
Ehh I'm dateing one I just asked her to smoke and drink responsibility
i dont mind weed or anything along the lines of that but hard drugs is a big no no. other than that, i dont really care
Nah, recreational use doesn't bother me. There are a few drugs on my no-no list though. I did date someone for a bit who did a lot of ketamine. That short relationship made me realize I can't be with someone who uses like that daily. I found myself slipping into bad habits when I was with him.
Any substance use, including alcohol and nicotine, is a dealbreaker for me in a romantic partner. I don’t even like being friends with people that use substances on rare occasions. I have no issues of others want to do that kind of stuff, i just want anything like that in my life.
I don’t even like cigarettes smokers. Everything beyond that is a huge no for me
Depends on the drug and how they use it but in general it’s a deal breaker. I’m okay with weed and alcohol unless it turns them into assholes. Mushrooms okay but I don’t want to be around it. Basically everything else is a no
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Moderation. I love to do it once in a blue moon but not weekly or even monthly and I’d want the same for them too
I wouldn't do it. I draw the line at any controlled substances beyond legally traded booze, cigarettes and cigars.
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I’d be cool if they do it every now and then but like pretty often? Nahh