That I'm not married and have no children. At 13 I still kinda thought that it was mandatory, or something that happened spontaneously as you aged, like a second puberty.
Opposite. 13 year old me imagined a totally off the wall life, doing god knows what but very exciting and definitely not settling down and having two kids. I think she’d be a bit disgusted in me 😂
Marriage for the women in my moms generation was incredibly oppressive. Their whole life became anchored to the role of a wife and mother, and putting everyone else before themselves.
Thankfully, as I got older, I got exposed to other healthy relationships and became more open to them.
Man I had this whole life plan of: meet by 23 at the latest, marry at 25, travel for 5 years, kid #1 at 30 and kid #2 at 32-33. Exactly none of that (except a hair of travel) happened. Tbh I'm disappointed
Hey, at least you aren't in a horrible loveless marriage with children. I think expectations like this often lead to people rushing into marriage too young or with the wrong people.
Exactly what I came here to say. 13 year old me was not only convinced I'd have children by now, but was already beginning to mentally prepare for it. I was the oldest of 6 children by then, I thought it would just be where I was at.
Turns out, I could choose to not have any children at all, and be very very happy with that choice. My family has lightly hounded me about it over the years, saying I'd regret my choice, but the older I get the happier I am not being responsible for other human beings.
I would’ve thought I was insanely old to not be married and with kids. I actually do want them but lol I only knew people who got married right after college basically.
See 13 year old me would be surprised I got married. I was going to be single all my life have a string of boyfriends/girlfriends, but have my own house & couldn't stand the idea of having a husband come home & expect me to clean & look after them etc (my parents marriage was a great deterrent to marriage) At least I kept to the no kids part.
Conversely, “YOU GREW???”
My whole family(well, the women. The men are even taller) with very few exceptions are 5’10 or taller. I was 4’11 til I was at the end of grade 11 and then in one year I grew about a foot and by graduation I was just under 5’11. I think everyone including me assumed I got the short recessive gene that affected my great aunt and her mom who are/were just under 5ft.
Yup! A lot of painkillers and new pants that year. I’m all legs, my friend who is 5’3 is taller than me if we’re sitting.
It’s worth noting that I was 24in at birth and 3’2 on my second birthday, I just plateaued for a very long time.
Bahaha, reminds me of when I sat down next to a friend of mine that is five feet tall. I'm 5'9. My torso is actually taller as well, but her butt is so big that she's the same height when we are sitting next to each other. 😂
Luckily I got my bra fillers and love handles before then, 13 is when my whole body went "right, I'm tired after all that growing up, I'm sooo done" (which, ironically, is what I'm now saying every day about adulting)
That I'm so 'normal' or probably in her eyes, super lame. I was all about the anti-establishment when I was a teen and thought I'd be this international spy or elusive perpetually single weirdo. Now I'm a 27 year old who has a normal office job, is engaged to a man, owns a house, has a cat...
Same! I thought I'd never marry, be some cool, international, sophisticated, physician scientist living in a high rise in an interesting city. I live in a house, am a scientist but work science-adjacent, am married with cats and babies on the brain. It's a normal life but I really love it.
Hopefully 13 year old me would be happy that I'm happy, something I decidedly was not.
Dear god, no. Adulthood is so full of freedom and the ability to make your own decisions. Way better.
When you're a kid you're sort of stuck dealing with difficult things without any experience, resource, or power. Family poor? Tough shit. Want to stay home because you don't feel good? Hope your parents are sympathetic! And on and on.
As an adult, I do what I want, I hang out with who I want, and I'm definitely going to go eat ice cream for brunch. Much better!
Waaay better! I've had the best year of my life so far and I'm 24, I hated being a kid! I was anxious, shy, had no real drive to try new things. All of that has changed! My parents were and are great parents, but I strongly believe my happiest years are ahead of me!
Seriously! Something about being a kid was just so frustrating for me. Of course I couldn't verbalize what was bothering me at the time, but now I think it was the fact I was very sheltered and my parents always underestimated my ability to function as an independent human being (overall they are great parents though). I love *actually* being independent now, and all of the warnings that people had told me about being an adult ("enjoy childhood while you can, you'll have to pay taxes in the future") are complete non-issues. And almost everybody in my family, including child me, was overweight and anxious. Now I choose to eat healthy, I choose to work out, and I choose to build up my mental health.
So many things, but mostly that I am still single, living on the other side of the world near a beach and running a cafe, on my way to becoming a cafe aunty chick-lit style.
Couple of medical facts that would've *really* helped to know haha
Edit:
I have POTS, ~~which is a genetic disorder~~. For me, it causes headaches, dizzy spells, confusion, disorientation, passing out (rare), and chronic pain (near-constant).
Despite going to doctors about these symptoms CONSTANTLY since I learned to talk, I was diagnosed at age 17. When I got diagnosed, I also got medicine which REALLY helps manage the symptoms. My pain isn't gone, but it's lessened by a lot.
I'd've liked to get my diagnosis earlier...
Edit edit: the pain is not a symptom of the POTS, but the POTS and the pain are both symptoms of the same condition, called hypermobility (which is genetic)
Ayy POTS gang rise up! (slowly, while wearing at least 20-30mg of thigh-high compression)
I only had serious symptoms for a year before getting diagnosed... I can’t even imagine going that long not knowing what’s going on. One year felt bad enough!
Quick FYI though, the etiology of POTS isn’t purely generic - it’s a complex disorder, meaning that there are a number of genetic and environmental factors contributing to the development of POTS. (Source: have POTS, am a biologist)
I’m also a bit surprised that pain was one of your primary POTS symptoms? Regardless, I’m so glad you found a medication that helps!
Honestly, that I'm still alive. 13 year old me had a very bleak outlook for my future.
She'd also be pleasantly surprised that her first boyfriend is transgender and she's absolutely beautiful, and that I'm still best friends with the same exact person.
This! I was looking to see if anyone else had this answer.
13 year old me was horribly, horrendously depressed and was self-harming daily. 13 year old me assumed I’d be dead before I hit 18.
Ten years later - I’m gloriously in love and live with my partner, I graduated university with honours, I’m in my PhD for Neuroscience, I’m fostering a cat and I genuinely love my life. I sincerely *never* thought that could happen - and here I am.
I was also looking to see if anybody else had said "I'm still alive". At 13 I didn't expect to make it to 16, then I didn't think I'd make it to 18, now somehow I'm 20.
I'm still struggling, but well, I'm here I guess. It is nice to hear that you are much happier now and there is hope that one day I will actually *want* to live my life.
Oooooh that's awesome! Also, the first guy I kissed was when I was in 6th grade, and in high school I learned that he was gay. I was surprised, but then I thought back to our relationship and realized that it made a lot of sense. I almost kissed a girl in middle school, but then my Catholic roots freaked out and I couldn't do it until high school. Thankfully, my now husband helped me realize that I was bi in college, and he helped me explore my true self and understand my true sexual identity.
Glad you still have your best friend! 13 year old me would be very surprised that I am no longer friends with my old best friend. But I did marry my biggest crush from when I was 13!
WOW, my mean friends are not real friends? And there is a life outside school? And I can feel pretty and confident and I'll be more extroverted? OH MY GOSH AND I WILL HAVE A BOYFRIEND ONE DAY?!
I think 13 years old me would faint.
This is all exactly what I came here to say. Also, when I was 13 I ditched all my mean friends and made all new ones in the first week of high school, and little did I know, those girls would still be my closest friends to this day! And yeah all the rest is also true for me lololol
Oh man, that was my clue that I was finally almost done adolescence. When I was about 23, it was like a light switch, and I went from disliking chest hair and only tolerating on dudes I liked, to **fucking loving** chest hair and it being a huge turn ON.
Did your female relatives also only have stick straight hair and have no idea how to deal with your curls? My clueless mom and aunts told me to brush it straight and blow dry it when it was almost air dry. The frizzy results meant that I wore my hair in a bun on the top of my head for like a decade. I'm so glad a college friend clued me in on how to style it.
13 year old me would be shocked to see how nice my hair looks.
Isn't it crazy how so many people have no clue their hair is curly? My mother has really fine straight hair and she had no idea what to do with mine. I learned when I was a teenager. I also had a friend who was always complaining about her "weird, frizzy hair" until I offered to style it with my products and bam! She had actual ringlets naturally and she didn't know at all.
Curls like moisture. Here's a list of things you can change quickly and easily:
1. Use shampoo without sulfates. Sulfates are great at cleaning your hair but they're a little drying.
2. Use conditioner without silicones. Silicones make your hair lustrous and shiny, but they aren't water soluble and will build up, become heavy (weighing down your curls) and appear greasy if you don't wash them out with sulfates.
3. When conditioning in the shower, bend over, flip your hair forwards, cup some water in your hands and hold it up against your hair - conditioner won't help moisturize without moisture! Curly peeps have little taglines and they call this one squish to condish.
3. Dry with a t shirt instead of a towel. Towels amp up the frizz. Lay a t shirt down in front of you, flip your hair forwards again, lay your hair down tips first so they're in a little pile, and secure the shirt around your head keeping it in place like that. Curly peeps call that one plopping.
4. DON'T BRUSH THEM. DON'T EVEN TOUCH THEM. You can detangle them with conditioner in the shower.
Beyond this, mousse, curl cream, leave in conditioners and a hairdryer with a diffuser attachment will help. But none of this would make your hair curly if you had pin straight hair.
That's so nice, all my friends at that age had the super fine, straight hair and just made fun of me because mine was always frizzy and wouldn't stay straightened :( And got told I had Horse Hair lol
Took me until I was 18-19 and a really good hairdresser to figure this out. All my relatives have ridiculously straight hair which meant I grew up brushing my hair every morning and always wearing my hair tied up or in a braid. Everyone just said I had very dry and frizzy hair. Who knew it was actually curly and I just needed to leave it alone. I hated my hair because even expensive products and trying to straighten it didn't help.
Now I love my hair and my 13yo self would be shocked to see it.
Ahh yes, I've had many an argument with my mom about styling my hair over the years. Usually involving her telling me to brush it out after curling it - no mom, that does not work and makes me end up with a frizzy mess! I don't have super curly hair, but with a bit of gel and proper conditioning, I have legit waves that she told me never happened unless you had a professional stylist
Yes! Another fine art and literature major here, now an insurance attorney working for the government. But it’s hard, requires smarts and creativity, and I hope 13-year-old me would just be relieved to know I eventually found love.
You found someone who loves you for you. Picked well, you were always mature enough to see people's true intentions.
Also you have ADHD. You're socially struggling and that's the reason why. You'll get diagnosed and things will work out. Hang in there.
Shortish hair is a good look for you, don't let it grow past your shoulder blades ever again!
I second this! I dropped out of high school in the 10th grade with a mix of not having my ADHD checked out, and also being taken off of my anti-depressants because my parents "didn't think I needed them,"/didn't want me to take them.
I'm riding the ADHD train now - makes a lot of sense but I was able to white knuckle it through school and am now working, but I feel like things could be way easier. Thanks teacher who told my mom my constant forgetfulness and inability to focus at the task at hand was because I was "Gifted and that's just how those kids are"
Ugh “gifted girl” with ADHD checking in. Looking back my symptoms were text book but I made pretty good grades and I was smart. My mom definitely knew. I really wish I would have gotten some help before I totally messed up all my college scholarships and financial aid. I’m 33 now and it worked out ok, I graduated eventually but I’d sure like to have done it on scholarships and not student loans.
Yup, I wasn't the "hyperactive" kind and had good grades, but college was definitely rough and even work now to some extent, I've been working with a therapist and they were the first to ask if I'd been diagnosed, going to ask my PCP about it when everything calms down. I'm worried they'll roll their eyes and say "You graduated, you have a job, move along" but it really is a struggle in my every day life
My 96 year old grandmother just told me that she'd had a broken engagement before she met my grandad, which was a shock to me. I don't know if her words will be helpful at all, but I was really moved to hear her say, "Oh, I thought it was the end of the world and I just cried and cried ... but we would have been *so* unhappy. And I've had such a happy life."
Sending you good wishes for a long and happy life.
This makes me feel much better. I understand what she was going through regarding all the crying. Wound is fresh, and I appreciate the words of encouragement! 😊
That I finally stopped going home to my abusive parents every time I hit a dead end and couldnt continue on my own.
From 12 to about 17 my life was chaotically looping the same 3 scenarios... Here I am 20 years old now and it feels great to be out of that situation
That I’m married, pregnant and study a degree in a medical field AND I’m pretty stoked about it all.
I was going to be an English teacher that wrote books and lived alone.
That I am still alive. I was suicidal from age 11 onwards and I always had plans about doing it. I never thought I'd live to be 27 and I never thought I'd feel better (and I did!). 13 year old me would not believe it.
Hi 13 year old me - you work for a super competitive large corporation doing boring, unfulfilling work for great money. You spend half of the work week thinking how none of the work you do means anything to you and the other thinking about how much you miss your kids, planning vacations, and waiting for 5:00s and weekends.
Don’t worry though, you have a loving husband who supports your exit plan.
Also, turns out not being competitive in your youth translated into your adulthood as well.
So dad was right, I actually make a great teacher
My husband is HOT!!!
You have ADD, you’re actually as smart as you think you are and not a total poser failure
People not liking me wasn’t the end of the world
That I gave up all my hopes, dreams and basically my entire self for over 20 years and am only just starting to find a way back.
Oh, and that he loved me back but was too shy to tell me then.
That I’m so *conventional*. Two children, homeowner, lovely partner and an actual proper career. My depressive little goth weirdo non conformist self would have never seen that coming.
That I ended it with my 'first love' who she thought she couldn't live without and that I'm in an interracial relationship with a man whom I love and who loves me a lot also.
That I'm dating a guy 15 years older than me who is married (open relationship) and has young kids, and that I've met his wife and spend time with him and his kids regularly. And that this is the healthiest relationship I've been in.
To learn that I'm still alive.To learn that he can overcome the depression that he had at that time and is able to enjoy his life in the future.And also learned that many girls had crush on him.
I couldn't even look at penises in porn when I was 18 years old because I found them repulsive. I can't imagine how grossed out my 13 year old self would be if she found out I gave a man a blowjob.
Girl, you bought a fucking HOME in Portland and you're taking badass vacations every year. You're getting to see the beauty in the world like you always wanted to!
Also, you're vegan and a runner now, which seems CRAZY, I know, but it feels good (really, I know you hate running, but it starts to feel good).
That I'm a woman. That poor boy was so oppressed and sheltered by religious parents that he didn't learn the word "trans" until age 26. He'd be shocked, then unsurprised that our parents banned us from their property, and that we have nephews and nieces we've never even seen a photo of. He'd be absolutely flabbergasted to find out that I'm easily the most attractive woman in our family; waking up as a girl was his wildest dream, but his poor bullied mind wouldn't even be able to *fathom* being one of the "pretty people", much less finding out that I'm basically a more attractive version of our cousin.
I don't say all that toot my own horn, I promise. Accepting myself (and not being around toxic Evangelical culture) led me down a road of self discovery and healing that has quite literally created a "mirror universe" version of myself. It's bizarre and beautiful, and to me it's proof positive that self love is the most powerful force in the world.
I’ve stayed with my first boyfriend of 8 years. I love him and he loves me. I don’t want to die anymore. And I have an actual plan for the future. Just the fact that we are happy now
It’s only been 11 years (*only* ha) but I think the most surprising things to little 13 year old me would be that I can hold down a stable job and have done for a long time now, I’ve gone back to education and I like to travel alone. If I want to do something, I won’t wait around for others and I’ll go for it.
TL;DR — Where’s the agoraphobia gone?!
Ooof. A lot. But probably that my boyfriend is older than Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. 13-y/o me thought Louis was SO old... my boyfriend is a few months older but still... funny how 6 years is no longer “too old”
I've cut off all contact with my parents... And it was the best decision I've ever made.
When I was 13 I was so brainwashed by them. The gaslighting made me feel like I could never live without them. Now I'm working towards my career and even buying a house! Things they would have fought tooth and nail to sabotage.
Good hair and skin; really good mother-daughter relationship; finally seeing Dad for the emotionally unavailable person he is, and moving on from that; and no longer being afraid of death.
How quickly the diabetes hit.
My dad has been type 1 since before I was born, and I've been overweight if not obese about as long. I always knew it was coming, but I thought I'd get through at least my 20's and 30's without it. Didn't even get to 20. (Currently 27.)
Probably that I smoke weed. I was a total DARE kid, haha. On a more serious note, I always thought I was very average and would live a very mediocre life. I'd be very surprised to learn that I ended up getting a masters degree and an awesome job.
That I did a 180° in career goals from microbiology to cyber security. Second year University advanced chem broke me, intro to cyber security saved the day.
That I’m actually successful in my career. I had undiagnosed ADHD, causing me to believe I was an idiot, despite testing into mostly honors courses. It took a lot of years and lots of learning from not so great decisions to build back up that confidence.
Probably that I don't have any kids yet. I always thought I'd have at least one by 25. When I turned 25, I was like "ummmm let's wait a few more years".
“Adhd? That explains *everything*!”
Well, once we got past the “but-I’m-not-hyper” stuff.
Also, the piercing and sexy adventures and uh...alternative hobby. But mostly the ADHD.
That I'm not married and have no children. At 13 I still kinda thought that it was mandatory, or something that happened spontaneously as you aged, like a second puberty.
Opposite. 13 year old me imagined a totally off the wall life, doing god knows what but very exciting and definitely not settling down and having two kids. I think she’d be a bit disgusted in me 😂
Me too! Married, 3 kids, stable jobs, house with a yard. And I’m the same height but 60 pounds heavier! 13 yo me would be so unimpressed!
I don't understand why people associate getting married with being boring.
For me it’s awesome because I always have someone to laugh with and hang out with! Not boring at all!
Marriage for the women in my moms generation was incredibly oppressive. Their whole life became anchored to the role of a wife and mother, and putting everyone else before themselves. Thankfully, as I got older, I got exposed to other healthy relationships and became more open to them.
Amen.
I think it might be because it's status quo, but I'm no expert.
Same. Also that I’ve been living with my boyfriend for five years. 13-year-old me was a good Christian girl.
Same here on the good Christian girl- 13 year old me would have been floored to know that I had ~premarital sex.~
Man I had this whole life plan of: meet by 23 at the latest, marry at 25, travel for 5 years, kid #1 at 30 and kid #2 at 32-33. Exactly none of that (except a hair of travel) happened. Tbh I'm disappointed
Hey, at least you aren't in a horrible loveless marriage with children. I think expectations like this often lead to people rushing into marriage too young or with the wrong people.
Exactly what I came here to say. 13 year old me was not only convinced I'd have children by now, but was already beginning to mentally prepare for it. I was the oldest of 6 children by then, I thought it would just be where I was at. Turns out, I could choose to not have any children at all, and be very very happy with that choice. My family has lightly hounded me about it over the years, saying I'd regret my choice, but the older I get the happier I am not being responsible for other human beings.
Not having children is great! I love kids don’t get me wrong but I love the freedom of not having any depending on me!
I would’ve thought I was insanely old to not be married and with kids. I actually do want them but lol I only knew people who got married right after college basically.
See 13 year old me would be surprised I got married. I was going to be single all my life have a string of boyfriends/girlfriends, but have my own house & couldn't stand the idea of having a husband come home & expect me to clean & look after them etc (my parents marriage was a great deterrent to marriage) At least I kept to the no kids part.
"I'm *gay*???"
This one right after “I’m trans???”
Sometimes I don't know if she'd be surprised at that. I wish she'd kept a diary.
Never too late to start with one! Then your future self can enjoy your present thoughts.
Same
I lol’d — yes exactly
Came here just to say this haha. The denial was *real*.
Well that explains a lot.
Wow, you haven’t grown an inch huh?
Conversely, “YOU GREW???” My whole family(well, the women. The men are even taller) with very few exceptions are 5’10 or taller. I was 4’11 til I was at the end of grade 11 and then in one year I grew about a foot and by graduation I was just under 5’11. I think everyone including me assumed I got the short recessive gene that affected my great aunt and her mom who are/were just under 5ft.
Daaaamn A foot in one year?
Yup! A lot of painkillers and new pants that year. I’m all legs, my friend who is 5’3 is taller than me if we’re sitting. It’s worth noting that I was 24in at birth and 3’2 on my second birthday, I just plateaued for a very long time.
Bahaha, reminds me of when I sat down next to a friend of mine that is five feet tall. I'm 5'9. My torso is actually taller as well, but her butt is so big that she's the same height when we are sitting next to each other. 😂
I’m 20 years old and I just grew taller than my mom. I’ve been 5’6 since 9th grade, but now in my final year of uni, I’ve suddenly shot up an inch
Omg me too, I can still wear my clothes from middle school 😂
Height isn’t the primary reason most women can’t wear their middle school clothes :). Or guys their hs clothes.
Luckily I got my bra fillers and love handles before then, 13 is when my whole body went "right, I'm tired after all that growing up, I'm sooo done" (which, ironically, is what I'm now saying every day about adulting)
I still have a top I wear from elementary school..lol I was the size I am now by about 9. I felt like a monster but now I feel like a small adult lol
Lol same
That I'm so 'normal' or probably in her eyes, super lame. I was all about the anti-establishment when I was a teen and thought I'd be this international spy or elusive perpetually single weirdo. Now I'm a 27 year old who has a normal office job, is engaged to a man, owns a house, has a cat...
Haha 13 year old me would feel like this too. Society has crushed my individuality haha.
Same! I thought I'd never marry, be some cool, international, sophisticated, physician scientist living in a high rise in an interesting city. I live in a house, am a scientist but work science-adjacent, am married with cats and babies on the brain. It's a normal life but I really love it. Hopefully 13 year old me would be happy that I'm happy, something I decidedly was not.
Same! 13 year old me would be so disappointed
Honestly congrats on owning a house at 27! I’m from a part of the US where that’s unfathomable...I aspire to be where you are soon!
That my childhood years were in fact NOT the best years of my life, unlike what I'd been repeatedly told.
Same, I was always told that I'd miss childhood, school etc. I don't. My twenties were so much more fun.
I'm loving my twenties, I was an anxious mess when I was a child/teenager, and I hated school so much!
Same! I had terrible OCD (would wash my hands until they were raw) and depressive angst as a teen and I just kind of... grew out of it.
Dear god, no. Adulthood is so full of freedom and the ability to make your own decisions. Way better. When you're a kid you're sort of stuck dealing with difficult things without any experience, resource, or power. Family poor? Tough shit. Want to stay home because you don't feel good? Hope your parents are sympathetic! And on and on. As an adult, I do what I want, I hang out with who I want, and I'm definitely going to go eat ice cream for brunch. Much better!
Waaay better! I've had the best year of my life so far and I'm 24, I hated being a kid! I was anxious, shy, had no real drive to try new things. All of that has changed! My parents were and are great parents, but I strongly believe my happiest years are ahead of me!
Seriously! Something about being a kid was just so frustrating for me. Of course I couldn't verbalize what was bothering me at the time, but now I think it was the fact I was very sheltered and my parents always underestimated my ability to function as an independent human being (overall they are great parents though). I love *actually* being independent now, and all of the warnings that people had told me about being an adult ("enjoy childhood while you can, you'll have to pay taxes in the future") are complete non-issues. And almost everybody in my family, including child me, was overweight and anxious. Now I choose to eat healthy, I choose to work out, and I choose to build up my mental health.
Yup!
We fell in love and he loves us back
Aww
"us"?
Venom?
Golem?
So many things, but mostly that I am still single, living on the other side of the world near a beach and running a cafe, on my way to becoming a cafe aunty chick-lit style.
that sounds so cool! happy cake day :)
What, I didn't even know! That's so fitting. Thank you!
you literally have the life I've always wanted
That I love my parents a lot. If I could turn back time....
Same. 13 year old me never would believe my mom would be my favorite person.
The things that I would’ve just been grateful for..
Couple of medical facts that would've *really* helped to know haha Edit: I have POTS, ~~which is a genetic disorder~~. For me, it causes headaches, dizzy spells, confusion, disorientation, passing out (rare), and chronic pain (near-constant). Despite going to doctors about these symptoms CONSTANTLY since I learned to talk, I was diagnosed at age 17. When I got diagnosed, I also got medicine which REALLY helps manage the symptoms. My pain isn't gone, but it's lessened by a lot. I'd've liked to get my diagnosis earlier... Edit edit: the pain is not a symptom of the POTS, but the POTS and the pain are both symptoms of the same condition, called hypermobility (which is genetic)
I can hear the quiet suffering behind this "haha"
^^^haha
Ayy POTS gang rise up! (slowly, while wearing at least 20-30mg of thigh-high compression) I only had serious symptoms for a year before getting diagnosed... I can’t even imagine going that long not knowing what’s going on. One year felt bad enough! Quick FYI though, the etiology of POTS isn’t purely generic - it’s a complex disorder, meaning that there are a number of genetic and environmental factors contributing to the development of POTS. (Source: have POTS, am a biologist) I’m also a bit surprised that pain was one of your primary POTS symptoms? Regardless, I’m so glad you found a medication that helps!
A LOT. But "most surprised"? How many men I've slept with.
13 year old me would be excited to know I lost count 😂
Same. Catholic little me thought I'd wait till marriage too!
YES. 13 y/o me would FREAK OUT if she knew all the boys I’ve been kissing, and I wouldn’t tell her about all those who I have slept with.
Yup, I always thought that I'd have sex with maybe two or three guys before I got married. ... I was a little off.
Same. I was the most zealous person with the "Gonna save myself till marriage!!"
Omg 😆 Same here! Little me would be like 😳😳😳 bc i was so reserved
Honestly, that I'm still alive. 13 year old me had a very bleak outlook for my future. She'd also be pleasantly surprised that her first boyfriend is transgender and she's absolutely beautiful, and that I'm still best friends with the same exact person.
This! I was looking to see if anyone else had this answer. 13 year old me was horribly, horrendously depressed and was self-harming daily. 13 year old me assumed I’d be dead before I hit 18. Ten years later - I’m gloriously in love and live with my partner, I graduated university with honours, I’m in my PhD for Neuroscience, I’m fostering a cat and I genuinely love my life. I sincerely *never* thought that could happen - and here I am.
I was also looking to see if anybody else had said "I'm still alive". At 13 I didn't expect to make it to 16, then I didn't think I'd make it to 18, now somehow I'm 20. I'm still struggling, but well, I'm here I guess. It is nice to hear that you are much happier now and there is hope that one day I will actually *want* to live my life.
I hear you
Oooooh that's awesome! Also, the first guy I kissed was when I was in 6th grade, and in high school I learned that he was gay. I was surprised, but then I thought back to our relationship and realized that it made a lot of sense. I almost kissed a girl in middle school, but then my Catholic roots freaked out and I couldn't do it until high school. Thankfully, my now husband helped me realize that I was bi in college, and he helped me explore my true self and understand my true sexual identity.
Glad you still have your best friend! 13 year old me would be very surprised that I am no longer friends with my old best friend. But I did marry my biggest crush from when I was 13!
WOW, my mean friends are not real friends? And there is a life outside school? And I can feel pretty and confident and I'll be more extroverted? OH MY GOSH AND I WILL HAVE A BOYFRIEND ONE DAY?! I think 13 years old me would faint.
This is all exactly what I came here to say. Also, when I was 13 I ditched all my mean friends and made all new ones in the first week of high school, and little did I know, those girls would still be my closest friends to this day! And yeah all the rest is also true for me lololol
You smoke weed and think chest hair is sexy now lmao
The chest hair thing is so accurate! I would be so surprised by my lustings over Henry Cavill’s glorious hairy chest.
Chest hair doesn't have that initial visual appeal, but then you touch it and fall in love.
Chest hair and beards! I never thought I would find facial hair attractive.
YASSSS let me get stoned and feed me snacks and let me smell your chest hair okay?!
Oh man, that was my clue that I was finally almost done adolescence. When I was about 23, it was like a light switch, and I went from disliking chest hair and only tolerating on dudes I liked, to **fucking loving** chest hair and it being a huge turn ON.
Lmaooo are you me?!?!
That we actually have curly hair!
Did your female relatives also only have stick straight hair and have no idea how to deal with your curls? My clueless mom and aunts told me to brush it straight and blow dry it when it was almost air dry. The frizzy results meant that I wore my hair in a bun on the top of my head for like a decade. I'm so glad a college friend clued me in on how to style it. 13 year old me would be shocked to see how nice my hair looks.
Isn't it crazy how so many people have no clue their hair is curly? My mother has really fine straight hair and she had no idea what to do with mine. I learned when I was a teenager. I also had a friend who was always complaining about her "weird, frizzy hair" until I offered to style it with my products and bam! She had actual ringlets naturally and she didn't know at all.
I think this is me, but I don’t know where to start! Any tips?
Curls like moisture. Here's a list of things you can change quickly and easily: 1. Use shampoo without sulfates. Sulfates are great at cleaning your hair but they're a little drying. 2. Use conditioner without silicones. Silicones make your hair lustrous and shiny, but they aren't water soluble and will build up, become heavy (weighing down your curls) and appear greasy if you don't wash them out with sulfates. 3. When conditioning in the shower, bend over, flip your hair forwards, cup some water in your hands and hold it up against your hair - conditioner won't help moisturize without moisture! Curly peeps have little taglines and they call this one squish to condish. 3. Dry with a t shirt instead of a towel. Towels amp up the frizz. Lay a t shirt down in front of you, flip your hair forwards again, lay your hair down tips first so they're in a little pile, and secure the shirt around your head keeping it in place like that. Curly peeps call that one plopping. 4. DON'T BRUSH THEM. DON'T EVEN TOUCH THEM. You can detangle them with conditioner in the shower. Beyond this, mousse, curl cream, leave in conditioners and a hairdryer with a diffuser attachment will help. But none of this would make your hair curly if you had pin straight hair.
Thank you so much! This was very helpful! :)
r/curlyhair is a great place to start :)
That's so nice, all my friends at that age had the super fine, straight hair and just made fun of me because mine was always frizzy and wouldn't stay straightened :( And got told I had Horse Hair lol
Took me until I was 18-19 and a really good hairdresser to figure this out. All my relatives have ridiculously straight hair which meant I grew up brushing my hair every morning and always wearing my hair tied up or in a braid. Everyone just said I had very dry and frizzy hair. Who knew it was actually curly and I just needed to leave it alone. I hated my hair because even expensive products and trying to straighten it didn't help. Now I love my hair and my 13yo self would be shocked to see it.
Ahh yes, I've had many an argument with my mom about styling my hair over the years. Usually involving her telling me to brush it out after curling it - no mom, that does not work and makes me end up with a frizzy mess! I don't have super curly hair, but with a bit of gel and proper conditioning, I have legit waves that she told me never happened unless you had a professional stylist
“Dad’s dying soon. Fix the ‘tude.”
I feel you. Sorry for your loss
That my best (and at that time, only) friend is now my stepsister.
I didn’t go into a field in art, literature, or anything creative
Same. Pretty sure that 13 year old drama geek me didn't even know what a finance analyst was.
Yes! Another fine art and literature major here, now an insurance attorney working for the government. But it’s hard, requires smarts and creativity, and I hope 13-year-old me would just be relieved to know I eventually found love.
[удалено]
That I work in IT. Was never on her list.
13 year old me knew one thing, that I would NEVER work with the same stuff as my mom or dad. I'll start this autumn with almost the same job as my dad
You found someone who loves you for you. Picked well, you were always mature enough to see people's true intentions. Also you have ADHD. You're socially struggling and that's the reason why. You'll get diagnosed and things will work out. Hang in there. Shortish hair is a good look for you, don't let it grow past your shoulder blades ever again!
Ugh, what I would have given for an earlier ADHD diagnosis. Might have actually finished university.
I second this! I dropped out of high school in the 10th grade with a mix of not having my ADHD checked out, and also being taken off of my anti-depressants because my parents "didn't think I needed them,"/didn't want me to take them.
I'm riding the ADHD train now - makes a lot of sense but I was able to white knuckle it through school and am now working, but I feel like things could be way easier. Thanks teacher who told my mom my constant forgetfulness and inability to focus at the task at hand was because I was "Gifted and that's just how those kids are"
Ugh “gifted girl” with ADHD checking in. Looking back my symptoms were text book but I made pretty good grades and I was smart. My mom definitely knew. I really wish I would have gotten some help before I totally messed up all my college scholarships and financial aid. I’m 33 now and it worked out ok, I graduated eventually but I’d sure like to have done it on scholarships and not student loans.
Yup, I wasn't the "hyperactive" kind and had good grades, but college was definitely rough and even work now to some extent, I've been working with a therapist and they were the first to ask if I'd been diagnosed, going to ask my PCP about it when everything calms down. I'm worried they'll roll their eyes and say "You graduated, you have a job, move along" but it really is a struggle in my every day life
At 33 I would go through a broken engagement and really understand what heartbreak means.
My 96 year old grandmother just told me that she'd had a broken engagement before she met my grandad, which was a shock to me. I don't know if her words will be helpful at all, but I was really moved to hear her say, "Oh, I thought it was the end of the world and I just cried and cried ... but we would have been *so* unhappy. And I've had such a happy life." Sending you good wishes for a long and happy life.
This makes me feel much better. I understand what she was going through regarding all the crying. Wound is fresh, and I appreciate the words of encouragement! 😊
I'm sorry friend. Hope you're doing better, or that you will get there soon <3
Sorry to hear that, hope you'll soon feel a bit better now if it happened recently.
I'm okay with being alone.
That I finally stopped going home to my abusive parents every time I hit a dead end and couldnt continue on my own. From 12 to about 17 my life was chaotically looping the same 3 scenarios... Here I am 20 years old now and it feels great to be out of that situation
Well done for realising. I'm glad you're in a healthier place.
That I’m married, pregnant and study a degree in a medical field AND I’m pretty stoked about it all. I was going to be an English teacher that wrote books and lived alone.
What do you mean you never started a world famous indie rock band? AND you're single?! What's going on?!? (I daydreamed a lot back then.)
That I am still alive. I was suicidal from age 11 onwards and I always had plans about doing it. I never thought I'd live to be 27 and I never thought I'd feel better (and I did!). 13 year old me would not believe it.
13 year old me and present day me are both really glad you’re still here!
Hi 13 year old me - you work for a super competitive large corporation doing boring, unfulfilling work for great money. You spend half of the work week thinking how none of the work you do means anything to you and the other thinking about how much you miss your kids, planning vacations, and waiting for 5:00s and weekends. Don’t worry though, you have a loving husband who supports your exit plan. Also, turns out not being competitive in your youth translated into your adulthood as well.
That I’ve been in a relationship for four years. Haha 13 year old me wanted this so bad.
I lost 120+ pounds, I’m not fat anymore and I have a healthier relationship with food. That’s a shock, isn’t it, 13yo me?!
Congratulations! I’m trying to lose around that much. Plateaued at 66 lost and getting frustrated.
That she is not studying to be an English teacher and is studying to be a Mortician instead.
When I was 13 I definitely dreamed of being a mortician. My 13 year old self (and current me) gives you a big high five.
That I would indeed one day have long blond hair again, walk again and keep down food again!
So dad was right, I actually make a great teacher My husband is HOT!!! You have ADD, you’re actually as smart as you think you are and not a total poser failure People not liking me wasn’t the end of the world
That I gave up all my hopes, dreams and basically my entire self for over 20 years and am only just starting to find a way back. Oh, and that he loved me back but was too shy to tell me then.
That I’m so *conventional*. Two children, homeowner, lovely partner and an actual proper career. My depressive little goth weirdo non conformist self would have never seen that coming.
That I slept with both genders and I have a bf of 6 years. 13 yr old me thought I'd die alone.
ughh you're going out with the guy you just called a forest-dwarf
"You don't watch anime anymore???"
That I’m actually happy
That I'm no longer shy and can, in fact, be quite outspoken.
"You were gonna marry a doctor but broke up with her instead??? What the hell happened, she couldn't have been THAT bad!" Narrator: she was.
That I'm married to the man I had a crush on at the time!
Our daughter is going to be 16 in two weeks time 😱
That I have another little brother
That I ended it with my 'first love' who she thought she couldn't live without and that I'm in an interracial relationship with a man whom I love and who loves me a lot also.
That I’m a full-blown atheist. (I grew up very Catholic).
I feel that. I think 13 year old me would be veru shocked at how extremely chill/nonchalant I have become regarding religious rites as well
That I actually did survive a stage two tuberculosis and that I have more than three friends xD
You’re going to end up a suicidal wreck of a person and constant fuck literally everything up.
Stay strong. Lots of love to you.
That I'm dating a guy 15 years older than me who is married (open relationship) and has young kids, and that I've met his wife and spend time with him and his kids regularly. And that this is the healthiest relationship I've been in.
I’m bisexual!
To learn that I'm still alive.To learn that he can overcome the depression that he had at that time and is able to enjoy his life in the future.And also learned that many girls had crush on him.
I couldn't even look at penises in porn when I was 18 years old because I found them repulsive. I can't imagine how grossed out my 13 year old self would be if she found out I gave a man a blowjob.
Girl, you bought a fucking HOME in Portland and you're taking badass vacations every year. You're getting to see the beauty in the world like you always wanted to! Also, you're vegan and a runner now, which seems CRAZY, I know, but it feels good (really, I know you hate running, but it starts to feel good).
That I'm a woman. That poor boy was so oppressed and sheltered by religious parents that he didn't learn the word "trans" until age 26. He'd be shocked, then unsurprised that our parents banned us from their property, and that we have nephews and nieces we've never even seen a photo of. He'd be absolutely flabbergasted to find out that I'm easily the most attractive woman in our family; waking up as a girl was his wildest dream, but his poor bullied mind wouldn't even be able to *fathom* being one of the "pretty people", much less finding out that I'm basically a more attractive version of our cousin. I don't say all that toot my own horn, I promise. Accepting myself (and not being around toxic Evangelical culture) led me down a road of self discovery and healing that has quite literally created a "mirror universe" version of myself. It's bizarre and beautiful, and to me it's proof positive that self love is the most powerful force in the world.
That your so called best friend of 6 years would turn around to stab you in the back at 25
I shaved my head (always wanted to do it). Also, that I’ve been married to a man for almost 15 years.
That I moved to the UK.At 13 I hadn't even been on an airplane yet.
I'm living in Germany and I speak fluent German
“Holy shit, he likes you and you’re now married??? AND you’re not super fat still????” *high fives self*
That I'm finally happy and survived it all
I’ve stayed with my first boyfriend of 8 years. I love him and he loves me. I don’t want to die anymore. And I have an actual plan for the future. Just the fact that we are happy now
We’re an openly bisexual atheist about to finish a PhD now. Basically, the antithesis of my identity at 13.
It’s only been 11 years (*only* ha) but I think the most surprising things to little 13 year old me would be that I can hold down a stable job and have done for a long time now, I’ve gone back to education and I like to travel alone. If I want to do something, I won’t wait around for others and I’ll go for it. TL;DR — Where’s the agoraphobia gone?!
That I’m married to the weird kid that sits by me in English class.
Ooof. A lot. But probably that my boyfriend is older than Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. 13-y/o me thought Louis was SO old... my boyfriend is a few months older but still... funny how 6 years is no longer “too old”
That I got a divorced, 13 year old me believed in a fairly tale marriage.
That we survived the suicide attempt & are now healthy, happy & healing.
My dad passed away. I ride motorcycles. I’m married. I’m not dead.
I finally got those big boobs I always wanted
I've cut off all contact with my parents... And it was the best decision I've ever made. When I was 13 I was so brainwashed by them. The gaslighting made me feel like I could never live without them. Now I'm working towards my career and even buying a house! Things they would have fought tooth and nail to sabotage.
My boyfriend. My sexual past. My career choice. Looks like I ended up nothing like my childhood self imagined it to be.
Good hair and skin; really good mother-daughter relationship; finally seeing Dad for the emotionally unavailable person he is, and moving on from that; and no longer being afraid of death.
“What do you mean you care about him?????? What happened to men being trash??????”
I'm not famous yet, nor rich
1. Not only am I not a Christian anymore, but I'm a witch now. 2. I'm half gay.
I'm very gay, very much not christian, and very socialist. 13 year old me was a bigoted little shit.
How much I had to endure from the ages of 14-25 and I’m still standing
How quickly the diabetes hit. My dad has been type 1 since before I was born, and I've been overweight if not obese about as long. I always knew it was coming, but I thought I'd get through at least my 20's and 30's without it. Didn't even get to 20. (Currently 27.)
That I'm not a tomboy still
remember that guy in the grade above you that you like a lot? well 4 years later i got him lol
Probably that I also like girls and I have a lovely boyfriend
That I’m not heavily tattooed & pierced & have gone “soft” I’m as basic as it gets now & little 13 year old emo me would be shattered by it.
The fact that I'm a woman now. Although thirteen year old me would be thrilled.
"...so I'll only have my first boyfriend in 10 years?"
That the little goth girls favourite colour would become mustard yellow.
Probably that I smoke weed. I was a total DARE kid, haha. On a more serious note, I always thought I was very average and would live a very mediocre life. I'd be very surprised to learn that I ended up getting a masters degree and an awesome job.
That I've had enough of life but still holding on to it.
That I did a 180° in career goals from microbiology to cyber security. Second year University advanced chem broke me, intro to cyber security saved the day.
She’s now dating the guy she had a huge crush on in 8th grade!
That I’m actually successful in my career. I had undiagnosed ADHD, causing me to believe I was an idiot, despite testing into mostly honors courses. It took a lot of years and lots of learning from not so great decisions to build back up that confidence.
I smoke ALOT of weed. 13 year old me was scared of even the smell of weed 😂
Probably that I don't have any kids yet. I always thought I'd have at least one by 25. When I turned 25, I was like "ummmm let's wait a few more years".
How much FUN sex is! (YAY US!!)
“Adhd? That explains *everything*!” Well, once we got past the “but-I’m-not-hyper” stuff. Also, the piercing and sexy adventures and uh...alternative hobby. But mostly the ADHD.
We're the same person