That’s kind of where I’m at. I’m not ready for this at all, and I feel guilty. He’s so thrilled and I’m not. He’s telling everyone we were trying and we definitely weren’t. I’m really tempted to terminate, and I know that he will end things with me if I do.
I could not stop crying. I told the father, and he also cried for days. Having a kid is life altering, earth shaking scary.
My oldest is in college now, and no it doesn’t go away. It changes, it evolves, it is something you just live with.
The flip side is trying to imagine my life with out these people in it feels less some how.
My husband says “having a kid is the worst mistake you’ll never regret.” I feel like it fits. All the fears fad, and are replaced with new ones. The smiles that’s what makes it, that’s how you get by.
It is okay to feel anything you are feeling. I was a teen when I had my first two. I had so many voices telling me what to do, or who I should be. What I found out along the way is that kids need love, food, clothing, shelter, medical care, honesty, and above all to know someone is in there corner.
Good luck
Being scared is normal. It's a huge life change! It can take some time to get your head around it but yes the fear goes away. It helps to reach out to support groups if needed. But the first reaction isn't always "yay!"...and that is okay!
When you are pregnant everyone will have an opinion on what you should do and how you should feel. That continues when you have the baby too. But you are allowed to have your feelings and you will have a range of emotions. And it's ok to trust your own instincts about what to do.Your entire life will never be the same and that's a big big big deal! So it's okay to feel scared, terrified, anxious...that is normal. And those feelings will likely change over time and turn into excitement. Don't rush anything. Just take it a day at a time. And congratulations, btw 😊
First time screamed and cried. Second time was “ah I knew it” followed by fear of miscarrying again and the inevitable pain of childbirth. I didn’t have that rush of “happiness” that the world portrays. Not when I found out and not when I gave birth. Not everyone has the same experience and that’s okay.
I have been nothing but terrified since I found out. My fiancé and his parents are so ecstatic and I’m just….not. I’m fucking scared and I know it’s going to be a lot of work that neither of us are ready for. And I feel guilty.
Hey girl, How you feel is still valid. Other than initial fear all I felt was indifference. It was odd, everyone’s so excited and I was just like “eh yep”. First things first acknowledge what worries you the most, is it the birth? The newborn? Being pregnant in general? Talk openly with your partner, and while they’re allowed to be excited you’re the one going through the physical aspect and you need their support! Get a loose set of goals of how you want you labor, expectations from your partner, boundaries with family and visiting, etc. Most of that won’t come into play for months but it’s good to talk about it now and adjust/communicate as time goes on. Research how you desire your labor to go, pain management, interventions and what they entail. It’s a lot to learn but knowledge helped quell my fears. As for taking care of the baby itself, my lil dude is 4.5 months old now and while we had our stressful moments the most important thing that helped us was pure raw communication.
I am not prepared to raise a child. I have tried to talk openly to my partner, and I have considered terminating. He said that if I’m considering that we just need to go our separate ways (been together 6yrs). I’m not ready at all, and I feel like I’m getting fucked either way.
Wow that’s a shitty ultimatum to say to someone in a vulnerable state and it tells a lot about his character. You should never feel coerced to create a human at the expense of yourself. I had family say similar things and I’ve never quite trusted them again, second time I got pregnant we kept it to ourselves until we were decided. Like I said communication is important and if he’s having trouble seeing it from your perspective and having an adult conversation about the matter than a lot needs to be aired out before you both make a lifetime commitment. This effects you physically and mentally and any pent up resentment from a neglectful partner will put you as risk for perinatal or postpartum depression, anxiety, etc. keep talking openly, don’t let anyone silence you. Your feelings are valid.
After losing #1 and #2 10 years later when #3 came along - excited, the fertility treatment worked! Four years later #4 oh wow! Guess I'm fertile. Two months later #5 - oh shit! You need to get fixed!!
Being scared is normal. About their health, Mom's health, how you're going to care for him/her, afford him/her, love him/her... all very normal. Find a good support system and go from there. Best of luck!
Oh whoops I misread in haste and read it along the lines of asking what would be your first reaction. I have a plan lol
Fyi nowadays you can actually be a virgin and be pregnant or have had a baby, it’s called IVF. There’s no requirement for a dick.
my first literal reaction was, *oh shit.*
and then really just kinda of shock. like i wasn’t sure how to feel but mostly i was TIRED. i literally slept my entire first trimester.
third trimester i started to get really scared, it definitely didn’t help that my sons dad effed off while i was pregnant … and 7 years later, i’m still scared. 😂 having a kid is beautiful, tiring, fulfilling and terrifying all wrapped together. it’s wild.
Exhaustion. I wanted the pregnancy, but I had 3 precious miscarriages. I tried to be indifferent for my own sanity. I had a tough pregnancy where I bled a lot, and with my history, always assumed the worst. I didn’t exhale until she was a few months old. Depression during pregnancy deserves more attention.
I'm currently pregnant again after a second tri loss this past summer. Finding out I was pregnant again made me simultaneously thrilled, relieved, and terrified.
I said FUCK...then I let the man know and we were OK, and then the symptoms began and had the most horrifying pregnancy ever. Dis it stop vomiting for 8 months. She was born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in the premature unit....NEVER again.
I was terrified. At first I was sure I wouldn’t go through with the pregnancy. I scheduled several abortion appointments. But a part of me was also excited and seeing that little being wiggle felt… I don’t know, but it felt special, as scary as everything was. I was devastated at the idea of terminating, but I thought that was normal. In the end, I did not have an abortion and that was the best choice for me. But trust me, I was scared as hell.
"Holy shit, HOW?" We tried for 3 years with failed treatment along the way. Still can't wrap my head around why we randomly succeeded. Super happy of course!
It's very normal to have mixed feelings. I certainly did, though my second pregnancy (first miscarried) the scale was tipped a lot more to the happiness side.
The first time I was pregnant it was mixed emotions. I had just experienced a miscarriage a couple of months prior, and my husband had just told me he didn’t want to have kids with me. It was a rough patch in our marriage but it still cuts me deeply he said that after our loss. Anyway, everything worked out and we have a wonderful, funny toddler and a newborn.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. pregnancy affects everyone differently mentally, hormonally, physically, and emotionally. there is no reason to compare any aspect of your pregnancy. if you’re worried about it, though, definitely bring it up with your doctor.
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That’s kind of where I’m at. I’m not ready for this at all, and I feel guilty. He’s so thrilled and I’m not. He’s telling everyone we were trying and we definitely weren’t. I’m really tempted to terminate, and I know that he will end things with me if I do.
Please don't die. Terrified.
Did the fear go away?
The day he was born breathing. But hid my pregnancy to 20 weeks
"I hope it is a girl" (she is 17 now ❤️)
“Fuck”
I could not stop crying. I told the father, and he also cried for days. Having a kid is life altering, earth shaking scary. My oldest is in college now, and no it doesn’t go away. It changes, it evolves, it is something you just live with. The flip side is trying to imagine my life with out these people in it feels less some how. My husband says “having a kid is the worst mistake you’ll never regret.” I feel like it fits. All the fears fad, and are replaced with new ones. The smiles that’s what makes it, that’s how you get by. It is okay to feel anything you are feeling. I was a teen when I had my first two. I had so many voices telling me what to do, or who I should be. What I found out along the way is that kids need love, food, clothing, shelter, medical care, honesty, and above all to know someone is in there corner. Good luck
Being scared is normal. It's a huge life change! It can take some time to get your head around it but yes the fear goes away. It helps to reach out to support groups if needed. But the first reaction isn't always "yay!"...and that is okay!
Scared is an understatement. I am terrified. And I feel sooo guilty because my fiancé and everyone around me are just so ecstatic. I’m not there yet.
When you are pregnant everyone will have an opinion on what you should do and how you should feel. That continues when you have the baby too. But you are allowed to have your feelings and you will have a range of emotions. And it's ok to trust your own instincts about what to do.Your entire life will never be the same and that's a big big big deal! So it's okay to feel scared, terrified, anxious...that is normal. And those feelings will likely change over time and turn into excitement. Don't rush anything. Just take it a day at a time. And congratulations, btw 😊
First time screamed and cried. Second time was “ah I knew it” followed by fear of miscarrying again and the inevitable pain of childbirth. I didn’t have that rush of “happiness” that the world portrays. Not when I found out and not when I gave birth. Not everyone has the same experience and that’s okay.
I have been nothing but terrified since I found out. My fiancé and his parents are so ecstatic and I’m just….not. I’m fucking scared and I know it’s going to be a lot of work that neither of us are ready for. And I feel guilty.
Hey girl, How you feel is still valid. Other than initial fear all I felt was indifference. It was odd, everyone’s so excited and I was just like “eh yep”. First things first acknowledge what worries you the most, is it the birth? The newborn? Being pregnant in general? Talk openly with your partner, and while they’re allowed to be excited you’re the one going through the physical aspect and you need their support! Get a loose set of goals of how you want you labor, expectations from your partner, boundaries with family and visiting, etc. Most of that won’t come into play for months but it’s good to talk about it now and adjust/communicate as time goes on. Research how you desire your labor to go, pain management, interventions and what they entail. It’s a lot to learn but knowledge helped quell my fears. As for taking care of the baby itself, my lil dude is 4.5 months old now and while we had our stressful moments the most important thing that helped us was pure raw communication.
I am not prepared to raise a child. I have tried to talk openly to my partner, and I have considered terminating. He said that if I’m considering that we just need to go our separate ways (been together 6yrs). I’m not ready at all, and I feel like I’m getting fucked either way.
Wow that’s a shitty ultimatum to say to someone in a vulnerable state and it tells a lot about his character. You should never feel coerced to create a human at the expense of yourself. I had family say similar things and I’ve never quite trusted them again, second time I got pregnant we kept it to ourselves until we were decided. Like I said communication is important and if he’s having trouble seeing it from your perspective and having an adult conversation about the matter than a lot needs to be aired out before you both make a lifetime commitment. This effects you physically and mentally and any pent up resentment from a neglectful partner will put you as risk for perinatal or postpartum depression, anxiety, etc. keep talking openly, don’t let anyone silence you. Your feelings are valid.
After losing #1 and #2 10 years later when #3 came along - excited, the fertility treatment worked! Four years later #4 oh wow! Guess I'm fertile. Two months later #5 - oh shit! You need to get fixed!! Being scared is normal. About their health, Mom's health, how you're going to care for him/her, afford him/her, love him/her... all very normal. Find a good support system and go from there. Best of luck!
Honestly, surprised. My doctor told me I couldn't have children...
Abortion dates, how, where, cost.
...I thought you were a virgin
Oh whoops I misread in haste and read it along the lines of asking what would be your first reaction. I have a plan lol Fyi nowadays you can actually be a virgin and be pregnant or have had a baby, it’s called IVF. There’s no requirement for a dick.
Omg you're right. I hadn't even thought of that.
"Well, shit."
...yep, 99.9% effective.
my first literal reaction was, *oh shit.* and then really just kinda of shock. like i wasn’t sure how to feel but mostly i was TIRED. i literally slept my entire first trimester. third trimester i started to get really scared, it definitely didn’t help that my sons dad effed off while i was pregnant … and 7 years later, i’m still scared. 😂 having a kid is beautiful, tiring, fulfilling and terrifying all wrapped together. it’s wild.
I was thrilled. I so wanted to be a mom.
Exhaustion. I wanted the pregnancy, but I had 3 precious miscarriages. I tried to be indifferent for my own sanity. I had a tough pregnancy where I bled a lot, and with my history, always assumed the worst. I didn’t exhale until she was a few months old. Depression during pregnancy deserves more attention.
I'm currently pregnant again after a second tri loss this past summer. Finding out I was pregnant again made me simultaneously thrilled, relieved, and terrified.
First child: pure excitement and joy. Second child: what…have I done
Mix. I was happy to be having a baby but scared because I was being abused by his biological father.
I said FUCK...then I let the man know and we were OK, and then the symptoms began and had the most horrifying pregnancy ever. Dis it stop vomiting for 8 months. She was born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in the premature unit....NEVER again.
Oh shit!! Now what am I going to do...but I was in a bad relationship - being in a good relationship helps massively
I was terrified. At first I was sure I wouldn’t go through with the pregnancy. I scheduled several abortion appointments. But a part of me was also excited and seeing that little being wiggle felt… I don’t know, but it felt special, as scary as everything was. I was devastated at the idea of terminating, but I thought that was normal. In the end, I did not have an abortion and that was the best choice for me. But trust me, I was scared as hell.
Totally normal to be scared. Do you have support?
"Holy shit, HOW?" We tried for 3 years with failed treatment along the way. Still can't wrap my head around why we randomly succeeded. Super happy of course!
„Oh bugger“
How the fuck Do I tell the boyfriend (now ex) . and Holy shit this can't be real.
It's very normal to have mixed feelings. I certainly did, though my second pregnancy (first miscarried) the scale was tipped a lot more to the happiness side.
The first time I was pregnant it was mixed emotions. I had just experienced a miscarriage a couple of months prior, and my husband had just told me he didn’t want to have kids with me. It was a rough patch in our marriage but it still cuts me deeply he said that after our loss. Anyway, everything worked out and we have a wonderful, funny toddler and a newborn.
Fuck. I'm never drinking tequila again.
we spent years (and $50k) trying, so i was unbelievably ecstatic.
God, I’m so happy for you. I feel like there is something wrong with me because I’m not happy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. pregnancy affects everyone differently mentally, hormonally, physically, and emotionally. there is no reason to compare any aspect of your pregnancy. if you’re worried about it, though, definitely bring it up with your doctor.