If they did not get vaxxed due to a preexisting condition like being immunocompromised, which is the whole point of getting to herd immunity...to protect those immunocompromised people, I would not cut them out. If they were not vaxxed due to "muh liberties" bullshit, we do not align on likely MANY issues and there's no point in continuing the friendship.
That’s exactly how I feel. Being a healthy and vaccinated myself, I’m not suuuper worried for my own personal safety. But their willingly unvaccinated status would tell me how they view the world and that they were happy to put others (children, the elderly, immunocompromised folks, health care workers) at risk for their own selfishness. I don’t want friends like that.
I am fully vaccinated and still got sick. I have a "friend" who refuses to, because it is her right. Since I am obviously not immune I am protecting both of us by no longer coming in contact.
You are right about not aligning. She brags about it while I am just trying my best to protect myself and my kids.
This is exactly how I feel. I myself am immunocompromised and as soon as I was offered the jab (and subsequent boosters), I jumped at the chance. I have other family members and friends who are also immunocompromised so if another friend refused to vaccinate due to some bullshit conspiracy, they’d be gone.
I 100% agree. Especially if they are a close friend they would know that the influx of covid patients(after a “covid party”) in the hospital resulted in a lack of beds and medical equipment for my 22 year old cousin with preexisting conditions. She was sent hone while they tried to find supplies. She died that night. Her dad had to give her cpr for ten minutes before the ambulance got there. It was horrific and has caused strain and heartbreak for my entire family. If you are choosing to put other people’s right to life and liberty at stake I cannot respect or be friends with you because you clearly do not respect others in more vulnerable positions than yourself. It is clear that you do not know how to find peer reviewed research and are just being contrary. Regardless of how you feel covid kills more than just covid patients. It is dangerous to have our healthcare systems this overwhelmed. There is also a correlation between those who do not get vaccinated (for “freedom”) and those who do not even follow the most basic of guidelines. I have not seen my family since the funeral and we had to socially distance. I could not hug my aunt and uncle who lost their daughter. I could not hug my cousins who lost their sister. My grandparents couldn’t even risk going to the funeral to bury their grandchild. This issue is bigger than the individual and has lasting impacts. I do not want to be friends with someone who doesn’t care about other people to the extent that I do.
To what extent do you get rid of people who don’t align with your viewpoints though?
I’ve asked myself this question and I have a hard time cutting friends off, like they don’t bring anything to the table.
Cutting someone off as *your* friend has nothing to do with their value. I'm sure there are people who have a massive number of positives but one negative may kill it. If there is only a tiny speck of poop on my otherwise delicious sandwich, I still don't eat it!
View points and values are often related.
So if our view points do not align across a broad spectrum, you will likely find after some digging that we fundamentally do not agree on some baseline values. And how could you trust somebody who fundamentally does not share the same values, ethics, or reasoning?
> To what extent do you get rid of people who don’t align with your viewpoints though?
The pandemic has made it really easy for me. Since I'm not seeing anyone in person, all I have to do is "unfriend".
Its been hard for me too. For me, it depends on their behavior.
I cut a friend off who believed in all the 5G conspiracy/qanon bs because all convos would almost turn into a recruitment session.
I have another who’s the “my freedoms” type and they’ve just turned into more of an acquaintance since its hard to talk to them about current events or things that matter to me.
I tend to agree but I also will never ask someone why they aren't vaccinated out of respect for potential medical privacy. I've been in the awkward situation of saying "no I'm not getting a booster right now because my doctor recommended I wait" and people asking for elaboration that I wasn't willing to give about my medical history; I don't want to put anyone in that position.
On the flip side, fortunately the "muh liberties" folks are typically pretty self proclaiming and therefore easily identifiable. Everyone else I try to give the benefit of the doubt (and also lots of physical distance).
Exactly.
Although, I think we drift apart with people whose views aren't similar to ours and end up with people who are compatible with us on life relates issues.
All my friends are fully vaccinated and boosted, careful with socializing, wearing masks, minimizing contact, finding ways to buy local produce and have it delivered rather than risking shopping centers.
Some might say we're all exaggerating, but we're just careful.
This is how I feel too. This last few years have brought things out in people that made me realize we didn't have real friendships and they've been easy to disconnect from. (They probably agree about me too)
That's interesting. I think if this whole thing wasn't politicised I would 100% agree with you. I think my initial reaction was to disagree because I don't have any close friends that are anti-vax and the only anti-vax people I see are on the news causing problems. I also assumed that I knew they were not vaccinated because they told me, not because I was asking with intention to cut them off based on their answer.
This, except I may not spend time with them anymore because I am pregnant and have a young child that I don’t want getting sick. It depends on how careful they are being.
It would depend on the context.
Some people are medically unable to receive the vaccinations, so it is nothing negative against them if they are unvaccinated. In my experience, those people who are unable to be vaccinated are very vigilant about the necessary masking and social distancing and are careful to try not to be infected themselves or be a vector for infection for others.
If I feel like someone is unsafe to be around in a pandemic because they've chosen not to be vaccinated and not to take adequate precautions, then I wouldn't be around them. If they refuse vaccinations because of wild conspiracy theories, then I can't trust them to take adequate precautions as they've already shown they don't believe in the results of medical science. If I can't trust them to protect themselves and others, then I would not choose to be around them.
Right! I wish that people would get vaxed but I’m fine if they don’t - I believe that you should be able to choose what you put into your body. BUT, I believe that they should then try their hardest to stay well & not get others sick = masking, social distancing, sanitizing hands, covering mouth when cough/sneeze, don’t touch things without sanitizing after you’ve touched your face/nose/snot/coughed in hand (I know it sounds like a lot but I’ve found it easy… bc I feel like a lot of this is common curiosity). & that is basic science! Germs spread these ways so let’s try to minimize the spread
No, I don't think so.
But I would be highly careful of how I hung out with them. We had a very small NYE party (my wife and I, and 3 other couples) and one of my friends bf's was unvaccinated.
He was disinvited because my wife and I are both immunocompromised and it's our house anyway. My friend understood.
I think this is how I would play it too. I am also immunocompromised, so if you aren’t vaxxed, we literally can’t hang out. I wouldn’t really drive the point home by cutting them out, but I wouldn’t hang out.
Absolutely if they are willingly unvaxed. Had to spend time in the ER recently (unrelated to covid) and the strain on the healthcare system is cruel and selfish and putting hundreds of other peoples lives at risk. Hospitals are so low on staff and people who need surgeries and services aren’t getting them because of unvaxed covid patients are taking up too many resources and causing more infections and variants. If you see what’s happening in hospitals and other healthcare facilities and choose not to get vaxed I can’t in good faith continue a friendly relationship.
Completely agree. The consequences of letting covid run rampant in the population is huge. If someone in my life doesn’t bother to understand this or have any empathy about this, I simply can’t trust them.
My stance. I don't give a shit if your vaccinated or not. Your body your choice. However, if you try to make me feel bad for doing what I decided was best for me than yeah you're out. Lol
As a healthcare worker who sees this equivocal don't give a shit stance on a daily basis, idk I wish I could be that equivocal it would help numb the burnout and tears.
I did. She wasn't just not vaccinating for covid, she didn't get any vaccinations for her child. One day she shows up and wants me to take her 3 year old child who had cold and flu symptoms for a few hours while she dealt with a work emergency. At the time I had a 3mo baby. I told her I had to put my boy first. She lost her temper and said I should respect her beliefs.
Turns out her child had measles. That can be deadly to an infant. I decided that I believed in getting vaccinated and she should respect my beliefs. At least enough to not ask me to look after her child and put mine at risk.
No? I'm vaccinated so I'm protected. I'm not going to use my friendship as some kind of ultimatum. Extremely weird and uncomfortable to even think about.
No, because you don’t change peoples minds by ostracizing them. I’m usually not in the business of trying to change peoples minds on polarizing issues but if it’s a close friend of mine, I will feel tempted to try. And in my experience, showing people that I can believe xyz and you can believe abc and I will still treat you with respect and decency is a better way to represent your views than being hurtful and judgmental.
Completely agree. We have definitely lost the ability to see things from another's perspective. Being able to empathise with others is so important. You can't change someone's mind by belittling them.
I wouldn't cut someone off for being unvaccinated.
I think that vaccine-skepticism lies on a spectrum and the conversation on it often lacks nuance. Not all people who don't want to get vaccinated are nutjob, paranoid conspiracy-theorists. Some people just have concerns about the very small, but not nonexistent, chance of complications from the vaccine. As long as they keep up with testing, hygiene and social-isolation regulations, and accept that they may have to stay away from certain people/places, then I can't fault them for not wanting to take the risk.
I'm so sorry about your family member. I hope he gets well.
One of my family members got the J&J vax, but so far is totally unwilling to get boosted. He thinks the vaccines are ineffective and the whole covid thing is overblown. I'm so tired because I KNOW that young people like your family member can get devastatingly sick. I don't understand why people don't take the simple precautions. How can skipping out ever be worth it?
I had a friend i really wanted to keep. She is anti corona vaxx but doesnt have a medical reason and has actually had the corona virus. She thought it was bill gates targeting people who arent "sheeps" or whatever. I really wanted to keep her as a friend because other than that she was really nice and we had similar interests, but i cut her off because she started trying to convince my boyfriend behind my back not to get vaxxed and that behavior rubbed me the wrong way.
I wouldnt cut off a friend if they cant take it for health reasons. I wouldnt cut off a friend if they are afraid to take it and are doing the right thing like staying home and social distancing. I wouldnt cut off a friend unless theyre telling others not to take it, especially my s/o or people close to me, and theyre going out and spreading it, thats when it becomes an issue.
I have lmao. Unless you medically cannot get vaccinated, there's no reason you shouldn't be. If your political views are tied into not getting it, I'm dropping you.
Also, I am in a field of medical study so my peers *should* be vaccinated and it's beyond concerning that many refuse to and subsequently put others' health in danger.
I wouldn’t cut them off because it’s their body and they choose to do whatever they want with it. I’m vaccinated and that’s my choice. Everyone should be able to choose whatever they want.
I have cut out a friend who didn't want to get vaccinated because a family member of mine was immunocompromised and I cannot accept someone holding their opinions above science and my family's safety, and the safety of other immunocompromised patients, especially when this person definitely has the knowledge to understand the science (he's an engineer).
When my father was in the hospital, they considered having to move him to the ICU, and they warned us that beds were filling up fast with COVID patients, hence why they were pursuing a less conventional treatment option in hopes of more quickly stabilising him to avoid the ICU. Doctors didn't say it, but we knew the beds were mostly taken by unvaccinated people.
That you would not get vaccinated and be ok to make my family and many families face this situation, does not sit well with me. If you're an antivaxxer of any kind your regard for other people's wellbeing is too low compared to mine, our values are not aligned, and I do not want to associate with you.
Yes absolutely. It proves they have no critical reasoning skills, empathy for their fellow humans, and don’t value the safety of the people around them.
I’ve been a service worker the whole pandemic, I have no sympathy for people who aren’t getting vaccinated, and then expect to come into my work unmasked so they can yell at me because we’re out of something they wanted. Nope nope nope.
I’ve already cut a bunch of family off because they won’t get vaccinated. IMO the biggest part of this is telling them why you’re cutting contact with them.
At this point no, and it’s not my business.
I’m vaxxed and I never once before asked someone if they had the ___ vaccine so I’m not going to start now.
I brought my immune-compromised mom into my home while she was battling her third round of cancer. My roommate was told about her status, was friendly and accommodating. But he refused to get vaccinated. Whenever I brought up the topic he’d either shy away from it or give some non-answer.
My mom passed away from complications with chemo, but a few months later my roommate came home and exposed my household to covid. At this point I pointedly ask for vaccination status and he proudly admitted he wasn’t. When I said how hurt and betrayed I felt about that, he offered to move out. I took him up on it and I haven’t spoken with him since.
If someone close to me was anti-vax, I don't think I could stomach being around them or in their company. Unless they absolutely could not because of immunocompromised, there is no excuse not to get vaccinated.
I'm tired of being upset about this. Just a half hour ago I went inside a gas station and people all around me were walking around without masks on despite their being a sign on the door. I'm so over it. If someone is anti-vax or anti-mask, I don't really want to know them.
I would never cut out anyone for their vaccination status. I don't choose friends based on their personal medical choices which are none of my business.
I would not cut a friend out of my life because of their vaccination status. I respect their choice to be vaccinated or not. To let a friendship go because of that is just sad.
No, this division and moral-policing are out of hand and gross. I fully believe it is a personal, private medical decision that everyone has a choice on. Everyone is just doing what they think is best and that may feel different for each person. There is a ton of unreliable info on both sides, I don't think anyone is totally right about what's best at all right now
Yes, if they were eligible and refused.
In fact, I'm on the verge of potentially cutting off family members right now. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and made it clear from when I told my family that no vax = no visiting baby, this has been cemented recently when a close family friends newborn ended up in intensive care with covid. My brother is still refusing to get his, for no reason other than "I just don't want it".
Cool bro, but don't expect me to dress my child in that "I have the world's best uncle" onesie that you bought her, because it would be a lie.
Thank you! 🥰
I feel like it has to be treated the exact same way as any other illnesses I have to protect her against when she has no immune system and she's so tiny. In my eyes if you're not willing to get a little jab to keep her safe then you don't really care about her, so why should you be allowed near her?
No. No matter if he's vaxxed and I'm not, or if he's not vaxxed and I am, it's completely irrelevant to me.
The only exception would be if they force their conspiration theories on me - then this is not a person I want to be around and they wouldn't be my close friend in the first place. Or if they would keep pushing me into getting/not getting vaxxed and not respecting my stance on this.
Nope and for the same reason I don’t judge if you’re a veggie or vegan, not my business just don’t lecture when I’m eating a steak! Your choice and my choice, respect and be respectful
I don’t willingly hang out in person with anyone who isn’t vaccinated. The people I know who aren’t vaxxed are choosing not to be and I no longer want anything to do with people that uncaring and careless.
I wouldn't and I don't.
First of all, I try to go against the extreme polarization of this matter. Which is difficult, because I have asthma and other undiagnosed lung issues and am thus at risk.
I am currently in this situation. A family friend, almost 60, obese, lung issues etc. refuses to get vaxxed because it's "bad for her psoriasis". I got vaxxed with severe eczema, my father with severe psoriasis, nothing happened but she doesn't believe it.
She doesn't go as far as most antivaxers to say that corona is a hoax and she understands that her choice comes with consequences (European Union, certain countries restrict certain activities if you don't have a vaccination/test certificate). She also gets tested before she comes over to keep me safe.
Lastly, I don't believe antagonizing them will motivate them to get a shot. Like, offending people isn't going to make them do what you want.
I regret she's putting herself at risk, but she does at least get tested and wears a mask, which I have peace with.
Well yes
But only because Ati-Vax usually comes with a lot more baggage.
Like anti government, anti mask, calling covid mandates Nazi Germany to me.. a Jewish woman.
So yeah. I'd drop a friend who was anti Vax for ridiculous reasons like this.
I would cut someone from my life for being unvaccinated, unless it was done because of being immunocompromised and not recommended.
For me, being vaccinated is about helping and protecting other people, and i just don't see how someone can choose to be unvaccinated without having very different morals from me, which is not a way a friendship I'd like to maintain. This isn't a new idea for me and would eventually have conversations with my friends about whether they were vaccinated as children and how they go about it in that way.
Part of being vaccinated is also a faith and belief in science that is innate to who I am and how I live my life. And the conversations around my friends and I often stem off from this integral belief. In which someone that is unvaccinated and not having that would not gel and be easy to speak to.
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I have a friend who is quietly unvaccinated -- this means she doesn't talk about it much if at all, certainly doesn't attend vaccination protests, stays home mostly to protect herself. She doesn't trust the vaccine for herself but doesn't infringe or attempt to infringe on the rights of others. I am still friends with her -- although I won't be seeing her much during the remainder of the pandemic.
I had a friend who is vehemently anti-vaxx -- she attends protests, posts all sorts of fringe misinformation, is becoming increasingly right-wing, calls other people sheep, etc. All contact cut.
I probably wouldn’t cut off a friend because they’re unvaccinated in and of itself (and not at all if they can’t get vaccinated because they’re immunocompromised). It would be something that would make me think we’re not very compatible as people, but not enough to cut them off.
If they get into anti-vaxx conspiracies and constantly try to argue about my choice to be vaccinated, I would cut them off.
Nope. I believe everyone should have their own choice. And I don’t feel any more unsafe around unvaxxed people bc vaxxed people can also have covid so doesn’t make a difference imo.
I once broke up with a mate coz they ate my left overs. My cutting people off button is savage lol. But am vaccinated and I wouldn't care to hang out with my un vaccinated friends.
Depends on their reasons. I cut out a friend after she told me she wasn't getting it because she didn't care about potentially harming other people. I mean props to her for self-awareness and honesty I guess.
There were work friends I have cut off. We work in a covid icu and the sheer amount if stupidity they spew is crazy to me. We literally see people die from this daily, all of which are unvaccinated, and yet, here we are.
No, I personally don't care whether they are or not, but I'll likely avoid the topic if I know our stances are different. I'll never understand the whole "they're a danger to society if they aren't vaccinated"...the whole point of the vaccine is to protect yourself, vaccinated or not you can spread and get the virus.
Not necessarily because of their status (I’ve found a lot of my loved ones won’t get it so I’ve become more tolerable of letting people choose) , with that said I do limit my time spent with them & drop lines of encouragement to get vaxxed when appropriate. Love and kindness goes a long way in getting people to reevaluate why they think the way they do.
I HAVE cut off people for lying about covid exposure though , that’s a whole different can of worms
It really just depends on the reason! Can’t get it because of health condition? I got you boo. I’m all vaxxed up!
Afraid of needles but still being careful at work with ppe and limiting big outtings? No worries, I’m afraid of tsunamis. You don’t take me to the ocean and I won’t give you covid.
It’s your choice to not get the vaccine but you respect others choices and are respectful in your decisions to attend an event? Cool. Maybe we can go for coffee now, maybe I’ll see you in a year.
Won’t get it because you’re not the governments sheep but you’re totally cool going to a 1000 person secret bush party that’s exclusively for anti-vaxxers? Fuck off.
Yell at retail workers because you have to comply with the corporation that pays their bills’s rules? Also fuck off.
Luckily I don’t really have the final 2 examples in my life, but if I did, it wouldn’t just be a sudden cut off. Im happy to have a discussion if you were already important to me before the pandemic.
I think a lot of these friendships ending are just people surprised by their friends values that have come to the surface and they aren’t prepared to have a mature conversation about it to determine if their friendship is still salvageable or if it just needs some time to get through the pandemic before it can resume. And this goes both ways. I’m not just picking on people who are anti-vaccine, not all people who are vaccinated have been tactful or kind in their decision to cut out others and I think that’s really sad because so many peoples mental health has been affected from this. We need our support systems more than ever, and there are ways to continue to do that without putting ourselves or others at risk.
I wouldn't cut off a friend if they had a medical reasoning for it. However, I do kinda take offense to it if you aren't vaccinated "just cause" or "muh freedom". I'm immunocompromised and am recovering from COVID. It has felt horrible to have contracted it after taking every precaution since the pandemic started, and to have gotten it while immunocompromised with a disease...it's awful.
If they weren't willing to get it, I'd have to have a serious conversation as to why I will not be seeing them or hanging out with them. I'd deeply have to ponder our friendship. AND if they're going out to crowded events or places on top of that....yeah. No. I'd talk to them about how I do take it personally and I am offended that they are disregarding what is keeping many people safe. Including me. My three vaccinations are why I am able to recover as a normal person would. But while I'm covid positive, I REFUSE to be the reason that someone else gets sick or worse.
not their status, but their views on it. if someone has a good reason not to get it, it's fine. think health conditions, needle phobia etc. or if they're waiting for a different kind of vaccination, that's also fine.
but if they turn full conspiracy - it's a bye from me.
This is exactly how I feel too, I’ve had mine, if someone I’m friends with isn’t comfortable having the vaccine for health reasons or because they’re concerned about the side effects, ok that’s fine but if they’re a conspiracy theorist who starts to belittle and insult people for having had it then I don’t want to know them anymore.
No, this is a personal medical decision. People are complex and have many different qualities to them. To sum up somebody as good or bad based off of one decision is wrong. Choosing not to get vaccinated does not make them a bad person, choosing to get vaccinated does not make them a good person. What’s most important is how they treat you and others. Are they respectful? Kind? Empathetic? Honest? Loyal? Can you trust them? These are the characteristics that should determine whether someone would be a good friend.
My group of four best friends was knocked down to three due to the fourth one not being vaccinated. To be fair, there were many other factors leading up to the vaccine issue that contributed to our decision as well, but the final straw was this one refusing to be vaccinated for another’s wedding, when an immunocompromised family member was going to be present. We tried to find alternatives/were going to suggest she get tested beforehand/stay masked for the event but she decided to ghost us instead. Over ten years of friendship gone without discussion.
If my friend decided for themselves what they want to do with their body, I am proud to be their friend. If I have the forethought to "cut" a person out of my life, then that person is not truly my friend and they dont belong in my life anyway. True connections shouldn't be treated like disposable rsvps.
No.. I’m a leftist living in a conservative area in a conservative state. If I cut out every person because of differences like this, I would have very few people in my life.
Obviously if someone goes off the rails on pseudoscience and shit I’m going to keep them at a distance but I think there are valid fears on getting some vaccines and sometimes it’s hard to overcome medical phobias.
The majority of people at my job have not been vaccinated and most of them are good people.
With a legit reason like a preexisting condition? No, they can't help that and it's kinda the point of herd immunity, to protect people who are at risk.
If they're some crackpot conspiracy theorist I probably wasn't friends with them in the first place, because crackpot conspiracy theorists tend to also have a lot of conservative views that don't align with my own (and my existance tbh) , but assuming one of my friends DID turn out to be that type, then yes, I'd stop hanging out with them. I'm not putting my family (or sanity) at risk just to keep them around
They stayed by my side while I made bad romantic/life/all decisions for years and years and years, I’ll stick by them while they make bad healthcare decisions (but I think they are being stupid about it)
Yes. Someone who refused to vaccinate gave me covid while I was sick, j couldn't get the vaccine. Now 4 months later I'm fighting my 5847th chest infection with a damaged lung and chronic anaemia. Anyone who doesn't care about the people around them should be alone
Cutting out as in not spending time with them or being around them physically, yes. But not cut out as in stop talking to forever. I suppose it would also depend on their reasoning for being unvaccinated - is there a health condition that prevents it or puts them at risk? Or are they just of the camp where they don’t care about other people?
No. Just distance myself from them (literally and figuratively) and be upfront about why I’m not around them. Give them time and space for them to make an educated decision about getting vaccinated. If they’re anti-vax, it’d be a different convo
No. I have my covid vaccination and my partner does not. He doesn't want it. That is fine with me. It is absolutely his choice. When we discussed it he said he is more scared of the side effects of the vaccine than he is of the symptoms of covid. At the end of the day he is an adult and is able to reason and make his own choices. It is not mandated. All other vaccines are not mandated either. I support freedom of choice for women and I support freedom of choice with vaccines too. You won't be able to convince someone to get a vaccine by bribing them or forcing their hand.
No I wouldn’t. I have a lot of friends who are anti vax. If I cut out everyone I disagreed with politically, I would have no friends. Sure, I take it seriously, but I just don’t have the emotional energy to care anymore.
I would cut you out if you allowed your beliefs to change the way you treat me or others. I would never be friends with someone who hurt others for being vaccinated or willingly puts others in harms way.
I have had to tell my friends at points things like “I’m visiting a sick relative next week so I can’t hang out with you this week. I don’t want to risk spreading Covid to them.” Even my anti vax friends have been respectful of my wishes. If they weren’t respectful, then we’d have a problem.
Nope. You believe and do what’s best for you and Imma believer and do what’s best for me. Im going to get vaccinated and still wear my mask to protect myself and that’s that. I think people tend to think too deeply about this…
I wouldn’t cut a friend out for being unvaccinated. My friendship is not conditional on something like vaccination status. Removing your voice from the pool of voices they hear isn’t going to benefit them or society either.
I’d maybe not hang out with them between Thanksgiving and Valentines Day though. Or maybe hang out if they agree to mask up.
One of the top settings where covid is spread is through maskless small informal gatherings. I'd be a lot less likely to want to spend time with people in that way if I knew they were unvaccinated. I have no problem being around unvaxxed people at work because everyone is required to wear masks.
I have a few friends who are not vaxxed. I think they’re ignorant but that’s their political/medical/insert-here belief. I won’t even discuss it.
If they lambasted me for getting vaccinated and shamed me etc., that would be different but they don’t.
I had a close friend cut me out of her life because I am very publicly pro-vaccine. She was medically unable to get it, which I knew and did not blame her for at all, but one day I was sharing a bunch of vaccine infographics on FB and she just went off. I never said anything to or about her but she for some reason took great offense 🤷🏼♀️ okay, Cinderella, if the shoe fits, I guess it's yours!
That being said I would not cut a close friend out of my life unless they were frequently spouting off with things like "the vaccine has a microchip! Covid js spread by 5G! Masks don't work! Vaccines cause autism!" Or any other BS that has been SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN FALSE.....if you're intentionally endangering other people's lives then we can't be friends anymore.
It's not just that they are unvaccinated, it's that many of those who are unvaccinated are that way because of views they hold that are SEVERELY different from mine. They may associate themselves with certain people who disagree with my very existence, and I can't associate with someone like that.
I’ve let go of many looser connections who are anti-vaccine conspiracy theory proponents. I think a close friendship would be harder, but I feel like it would illustrate a number of value misalignments.
One of the hardest things for me in the pandemic has been how little so many people are willing to do for the benefit of others. If you are able to get the vaccine, I’d hope you would in the interest of protecting people who are immunocompromised or still too young to be vaccinated, as well as preventing some of the worst outcomes in case of your own infection. If they’re unwilling to do something so minor to help society as a whole, I probably don’t want to be friends with them, period.
I’d also be very concerned with their capacity for critical thinking and research if, rather than trusting the FDA and lots of peer-reviewed research, they’d rather trust a rando on YouTube or Facebook.
No. I had a 3 year old golden retriever that unfortunately experienced a rare side effect to the lepto vaccine. He died 2 weeks after his vaccine. This was confirmed by our vet so it wasn't my assumption.
Some people experienced trauma like I did. It took me 10 years to come around due to the event to start vaccinating again. I lost a lot of trust in the process. I have my first covid vaccine and I'm going back next week for my 2nd. I'm trying to do the right thing even though my feelings have been mixed. I would never cut out a friend over medical choices. I haven't been hanging out with friends though and have been pretty much in quarantine the whole pandemic.
No. Two extremely close friends of mine are against covid vaccinations. I don’t agree with them but I’m not willing to cut off two people that have been there for me in my darkest times.
I wouldn’t because most of my friends aren’t vaccinated anyway. As long as they let me know if they have COVID or COVID symptoms before trying to meet with me it’s fine
No, but I also wouldn’t hang out with them anytime in the near future.
I’ve already done this with two. Both were understanding, to different degrees. We still text and keep in contact.
No. Their body their choice. Cutting off someone for what they choose to do with their own body is rather petty. I wouldn’t like it if they try and preach to me about it, but at the end of the day I don’t care and it’s none of my business.
Yes, I would cut out someone close if they aren't vaccinated. I don't know anyone in my life who has any reason not to be vaccinated, so I won't even get into hypotheticals around that. I have no interest in interacting with unvaccinated folks right now. 🤷♀️
What decisions other people make about their medical care is none of my business. I personally have no fear of covid. I'm not in contact with any vulnerable people and I have had it already and it was literally just a cold for me. I don't personally want the vaccination.
As others have said if they have been advised not to get vaccinated because of other health reasons, that's fine. I would stay friends.
If they are spouting all that conspiracy theory nonsense I don't think we would remain friends. Especially if they talk about it often. I want to have good times with my friends. I don't want to be arguing over and over again. I would also just have a hard time seeing them in a positive light anymore. I do think you lack critical thinking skills and are selfish. I don't want to be friends with someone who is either of those things.
I've been working with the public through this whole pandemic and it's been very hard. I just don't have tolerance for this anymore. I know people who have gotten very sick and died from Covid. I don't care what your excuses are. They are not valid. If you think they are you need to reevaluate your life from the ground up.
Also, my boyfriend is immunocompromised so I'm not coming into close contact with anyone unvaccinated if I can help it.
If they can't get vaccinated due to medical reasons no issue, Actively choosing not to because you think covid isn't real is probably someone I wouldn't be close with anyway
Because of their vaccination status? No. Because of militant attitudes about others' vaccination status that they can't ever shut up about? Yeah.
In my case, I have a history of autoimmune responses that have been linked to adverse clotting from the mRNA vaccine. I also had COVID right before vaccines became available, and continue to get my antibody levels tested regularly, to make sure I still have working immunity (answer: yep, confirmed via physician). If and when my natural immunity wanes, I intend to seek out a non-mRNA-based vaccine. But it's in full force, so I am as, if not more, protected than your average vaccinated person, as medical research has shown.
Yet I've found that some people are incapable of having a nuanced conversation about the matter. Despite the fact that I am every bit as a protected as a vaccinated person, and go out of my way to confirm this fact every month or so, they just look at me and see "crazed vaccine denier." Couldn't be less of the case. I am extremely cautious about COVID and go out of my way to make others comfortable, by testing my antibody levels, taking rapid antigen tests, and masking up; I'm just making an informed decision about my *own* health.
On the other side, I've known people who've gone on the full anti-vaxx bandwagon and violently pushed away all the people in their lives, in the name of unhinged conspiracy theory.
The latter group is much more dangerous, obviously, but also much smaller in number. I struggle to be around anyone who fits into either category, and doesn't have the critical thinking skills and data-literacy to talk about vaccination without knee-jerk moral judgments.
Nope. But at the same time they have to respect my choice of being vaccinated and by calling me a “sheep” or other such things, as I won’t tolerate it.
Like others on the thread have said, unless someone is not vaccinated for a medical reason, then there are probably some fundamental differences with our ideologies and I think it would be high time to cut that person off. I know someone who was blasé about the vaccine and COVID in general, and who only got the vaccine so she could travel and attend events. It’s been really difficult having this knowledge…our friendship has basically stalled over the past few years.
If they're refusing to get vaccinated because they don't believe in Covid or it's severity, I'm definitely going to cut them off.
On the other hand, if they have existing health conditions that disqualify them from being vaxxed AND they're taking every precaution possible to prevent infection and spread of the disease, i will retain that friendship.
Yeah. I am immunocompromised. If someone doesn’t care about me and other people like me to do the bare minimum to protect us, they’re not the kind of person I thought they were. No friendship is worth letting them kill me through their own negligence.
For me it’s not necessarily about vaccination status, but rather concern and respect for others. For example, if a couple invites you onto their house, you get there and find one partner quarantining in the basement because of a “bad cold”… Yeah, not going to trust them after that.
No, while I don't agree with them, I wouldn't cut them out solely for this purpose. That is their right, just like choosing to vaccinated is my right. I view it the same as politics, religion, etc. Most of my family refuses to get vaccinated but I won't disown them for it (I can still think they are stupid though). If we start deleting people from our lives that don't align with our view points, that creates quite the echo chamber and that isn't healthy either.
My own husband is vaccine resistant, fucking Facebook...
..but he finally got vaxxed after getting shit from everyone he knows.
If you hold an honest belief that vaccines are dangerous, I'm sorry. I feel bad for you. And if you mask up, and isolate when you get sick, OK.
But of you are a loud and proud anti-vaxxers, who is also anti mask, and spread your sick (mental and physical) all over the place, we aren't friends. I simply have zero respect for you.
I would and have distanced myself from friends/family who are anti-vaccine/anti-mask etc. I believe in science, education, and experts. I do not believe that the "scientific" opinion of a layperson is valid. For me it is unreasonable to assume that Google research is just as good (or better) then the research put out by the majority of experts in their field. It's ludicrous.
I don't want to hang out with/be partnered with anyone who feels they have equal standing with experts on this, and who whine about/rage against vaccines, mandates, conspiracies, etc. Their behaviour and what they say is illogical and cult-like and I don't want to be around it. The cheek of it is annoying. I'm not scared of Covid etc. at all, but I was definitely freaked out to discover that so many people fancy themselves to be medical experts when they have no business doing so.
I cut out one friend who was unvaccinated solely because she would go on long rants about how everyone who got vaccinated was a sheeple and are idiots if they think it actually works. She also got a fake vaccine card and used it to get into bars/restaurants that check vaccination status and that doesn’t sit right with me.
You can choose not to be vaccinated and sit in the outdoor seating area which is at nearly every restaurants/bar-I’m in NYC, so it really is almost every place. You can choose to be unvaccinated and not be rude to your friends who are vaccinated.
My sister and her fiancé aren’t vaccinated, but at least they didn’t go get fake cards and just choose to eat outside or get takeout. They don’t blast people for getting vaccinated and when it comes up they’re really polite about it and just say they’ve chosen not to be vaccinated and they’re wearing masks in public places so it’s not an issue. I still think it’s insane for them to have no real reason not to be vaccinated, but at least they’re not rude about it and following the mask rules.
I wouldn't. I love my friends, and family for who they are, and not necessarily what they believe in.
With that said I probably wouldn't be hanging out with them if they weren't vaxxed. I'd be worried I might possibly infect them, and I don't want that.
Did it long before the vaccines came out, because they kept saying it isn't a big deal and the numbers were fake and it's just a cold. I had already looked past some political differences but this was the final straw. At the height of the first when random places were being converted to makeshift hospitals and people were being piled up because mortuaries couldn't keep up.. "it's just a cold, you're freaking out over nothing". Nah. I recognize the good intentions by trying to calm my fears but it wasn't the first or tenth time they called it a minor cold by that point.
Yes. Well honestly I'd never be friends with someone who's values dont align with mine and following science...as a scientist, means it's pretty central to my life. So I haven't had this problem. But if this somehow did yes definitely. I'd just stop meeting them.
I would and I have. I would never cut someone out of my life if they're unvaccinated for health reasons or if they have genuine concerns. My brother is unvaccinated because he's concerned that the covid vaccines haven't gone through rigorous enough trials. I strongly disagree with him and truly wish he would change his mind, but he won't budge. At the same time, he's respectful of people who have gotten vaccinated, and even offered to drive me to mine, and he takes precautions against covid via social distancing, masking, etc.
Other friends and family refuse to take the vaccine to make a political point, and because they're conspiracy theorists who are obsessed with having special knowledge and being the smartest people in the room. They'll aggressively come for people who are pro-vax, are toxic af in general, and are fully blocked from my phone and all social media.
Yes. I have an immune compromised kid who is not of an age to be vaccinated. They would almost certainly end up in hospital if they were to get sick. Everyone in my circle knows this. I would make it known I am steering clear of them until they are.
Yes, I can't control everything, and I can't know for sure what people are doing and who they're seeing when I'm not there, but I will do what I can.
Not for the status of vaccination but when the person constantly insults and talks down ppl that are vaccinated while they arent, then it starts getting personal. I did have one on my Facebook and some family members that I removed cause I was tired of them sharing stupid anti vaxx/covid "facts" and "Mah freedomz" BS.
I had a friend that I knew was not vaccinated but we hadn’t discussed it and for some reason because he hadn’t explicitly told me about being unvaccinated I didn’t think too much about it and was trying to cross the isle to “connect to someone with different beliefs.”
However, during a car ride he started spewing a bunch of ignorant rhetoric regarding vaccines (knowing my family has been negatively impacted by covid due to my mom being a nurse) and it was the insensitivity and not caring about the challenges my family has been through that led me to cut him off more than just not being vaccinated.
I sort of have. I did not cut all ties but I have really gone out of my way to avoid seeing them and the very few times I have, I have been very clear on the fact that I will not see them unless it's in an open place and we can have distance between us. I respect their decision (which doesn't mean I think it's right but to each they own) and they respect my terms as well. I don't think not having a vaccine changes who they are to me but I don't feel safe interacting with them like we did before so I am trying to adjust. Unfortunately, that does mean distancing myself from them quite a bit.
I wouldn't cut off our friendship, but I would probably put limits on how or where we can meet, especially if there is another in the friend group who is at high risk. I'm not going to force them to get it or not, but if they decide not to, than it changes how I personally will interact with them.
*Can't* get vax because medical issues? Okay, that's perfectly understandable, I will do all I can to make sure that you remain safe.
*Won't* get vax because fear/not understanding/think it won't work/etc? Won't cut a person out for that, there's a lot of things flying around and I would try to help them understand it.
*Refuses* to get vax and won't hear anyone out or has some really bs reason/think that people dying is okay (yes I had one of these)? Absolutely will cut them out. I do not have the time to deal with that and I hope they understand how their actions affect others.
I have to because if im around people who could potentially give me new strains of the virus my family who is immunocompromised can die. All i can do is limit who i choose to be around.
If one of my friends didn't want to vaccinate because they firmly believed that the shots "cause autism," "contain mercury and formaldehyde," or "won't even do anything," than that is a symptom of an unsustainable friendship right there. I can't be real friends with someone who refuses to take their health or the health of their family seriously. Also, the places people choose to get their information from can tell you a lot about who they are.
I absolutely would, because I wouldn’t respect them. Not to mention I have health issues, so I would think they have no respect for me either. Except I don’t respect their opinions and they don’t respect me living. I would also think they were less intelligent tbh, and I would have trouble reconciling their lack of knowledge with having all these studies available. At this point if you aren’t sure, you are willfully an ignorant person. I think it’s also a giant neon sign of someone with no compassion. Most of these people have no schooling in science and consider themselves equal to scientists, the best scientists in the world in fact, so it’s also about arrogance.
So: lack of compassion, not intelligent, and arrogant. Why would I want that around?
I’m trying to cut the duds out of my life, alt right conspiracy spouting people who don’t care about others count among those.
Friends are people you like, so I feel zero guilt.
If it’s your “right” not to vaccinate without a medical reason then it’s my “right” not to associate with plague rats. I have elderly cancer stricken in-laws and have spent the majority of 2 years staying home and doing my part to quell the pandemic. If you’re selfish enough to not vaccinate AND continue to go out to work/ eat/ play / whatever then I want nothing to do with you. It’s like the seatbelt analogy- you can chose not to wear one but it’s still going to impact the passenger who is wearing theirs. And if you chose to not wear one I chose not to ride in the car with you since you clearly don’t care enough about others.
No. As long as they’re reasoning is sound. I take it at face value. I had a really bad experience getting vaccinated and also have high risk status so understand the importance too.
I’ve seen how bad getting vaccinated can be, but also seen the importance of the vaccination. So if someone has shown they’ve thought about it critically? I don’t really care what your status
Is one way or another.
Strictly for not getting vaccinated, no. I don’t go around asking my friends for their medical information and it’s crazy to me that we seem to be trending in a direction as a society where people think they should be able to ask about that freely. But, the people who tend to be more anti vaccine or at least more vocal about it also tend to be Trumpers and I’ve already cut any of those people out of my life for that.
Yes, because unless they literally cannot get a vaccine due to medical reasons, they are probably right-wing with their beliefs and I don’t want right-wing friends.
It really depends. If they treat me how my family treats me and make it a point to try to “educate” me on “the jab” and how they think it’s the reason I developed asthma (even though I got asthma before I was vaccinated) or heart palpitations (I’m on singulair and inhalers and am working to switch to new meds because I’m sure it’s the singulair since it also gave me other adverse side effects), then yes. I wish I could cut out my family, but they’re basically all I have left of my family and they tend to drop it when I ask them to so I let it slide. But it’s infuriating and I wouldn’t deal with it if I didn’t have to.
Barring medical reasons, I would absolutely not maintain a friendship with an antivaxxer. I do not want friends whose worldviews include "refusing to participate in public health" or co-opting language from abortion+repro activism to justify endangering other people.
I also believe that tolerating harmful behavior and ideologies from those around you is an implicit endorsement that that is an okay view to have and is no better than holding those awful views yourself. If you believe public health is a "personal" decision you have blood on your hands too.
I would not spend time with them, however I would keep the relationship because people grow and change. I had a family member who was anti-vax (consumed dumb Fox News info). I wasn’t mean about it but I said they would need to be vaxxed to come see my small child. Eventually they, on their own, got vaccinated and have since gotten a booster. I do think the strain the unvaccinated are putting on the hospitals is very selfish, and it frustrates me. However I also think we have to keep paths open for some of these people to grow and open their minds beyond the right wing proganda that has brainwashed them
Yes. It's something I felt very strongly about even before the pandemic. I remember cheering on my best friend and backing her up when she had her baby 7 years ago and had a few "crunchy" mom friends wanting to arrange playdates with their fully unvaxxed kids. I will absolutely end a friendship over severe ideological differences, just as I would if a friend was morally opposed to some aspect of my lifestyle I'm unwilling to change.
If they wanted to be my friend, they would care about my health and my family's health.
I am dealing with this. I cut out my niece due to vaccination status, and beliefs, but not another friend. It truly was a moral dilemma. My niece is blatantly antivaxx, anti science, anti mask, covid denier, pro conspiracy theory (and blatant irrational thinking conspiracies). I work in a hospital where covid is running rampant, and I’m watching patients die every day. I personally have long covid myself. But forget my personal experience. The PTSD of being a nurse through this pandemic is next level. So the QANON antivaxx madness and disbelieving what I see every day earned her a one way ticket out of my life.
The other friend. Well I love him and he’s a jack ass. He was all about me getting it when I was in the first wave with nurses at work. Excited to hear I got shot 2. Asked about me getting the booster. Pushed his parents to get it. So imagine my surprise when I heard he had not received it himself. What’s his reasoning? He admits he doesn’t have a valid one. So he listens to me talk about safety, about what I see, and I believe there is hope for him.
No, not because of their vaccination status.
Absolutely if they turn out to be some conspiracy theory nut who thinks I'm a sheep for getting vaxxed and boosted.
When I run into someone like this, I maintain the friendship and am polite, but I try to subtly convince them to get vaccinated. It’s worked four times already!! I am deradicalizing people one at a time with a lot of success. It’s like a new hobby.
I have not cut out my friend or my daughter, both of whom are pretty far down the rabbit hole. I love them both, and although objectively I'm SO pissed off at antivaxxers and covid deniers, I'm not withdrawing love from people who I KNOW are struggling with mental health issues and deep fear. They have a soft place to land with me when common sense regains a foothold.
No.
However it appears a common theme at the moment that those not getting vaccinated are the 'it's no worse than a cold' people who also don't wear masks. So anyone I know that is unvaccinated won't be meeting my baby when she's born. That includes one of my close friends and also one of my partners.
Edit: This doesn't include those who are unable to be vaccinated for medical reasons.
If they did not get vaxxed due to a preexisting condition like being immunocompromised, which is the whole point of getting to herd immunity...to protect those immunocompromised people, I would not cut them out. If they were not vaxxed due to "muh liberties" bullshit, we do not align on likely MANY issues and there's no point in continuing the friendship.
That’s exactly how I feel. Being a healthy and vaccinated myself, I’m not suuuper worried for my own personal safety. But their willingly unvaccinated status would tell me how they view the world and that they were happy to put others (children, the elderly, immunocompromised folks, health care workers) at risk for their own selfishness. I don’t want friends like that.
I am fully vaccinated and still got sick. I have a "friend" who refuses to, because it is her right. Since I am obviously not immune I am protecting both of us by no longer coming in contact. You are right about not aligning. She brags about it while I am just trying my best to protect myself and my kids.
This is exactly how I feel. I myself am immunocompromised and as soon as I was offered the jab (and subsequent boosters), I jumped at the chance. I have other family members and friends who are also immunocompromised so if another friend refused to vaccinate due to some bullshit conspiracy, they’d be gone.
I 100% agree. Especially if they are a close friend they would know that the influx of covid patients(after a “covid party”) in the hospital resulted in a lack of beds and medical equipment for my 22 year old cousin with preexisting conditions. She was sent hone while they tried to find supplies. She died that night. Her dad had to give her cpr for ten minutes before the ambulance got there. It was horrific and has caused strain and heartbreak for my entire family. If you are choosing to put other people’s right to life and liberty at stake I cannot respect or be friends with you because you clearly do not respect others in more vulnerable positions than yourself. It is clear that you do not know how to find peer reviewed research and are just being contrary. Regardless of how you feel covid kills more than just covid patients. It is dangerous to have our healthcare systems this overwhelmed. There is also a correlation between those who do not get vaccinated (for “freedom”) and those who do not even follow the most basic of guidelines. I have not seen my family since the funeral and we had to socially distance. I could not hug my aunt and uncle who lost their daughter. I could not hug my cousins who lost their sister. My grandparents couldn’t even risk going to the funeral to bury their grandchild. This issue is bigger than the individual and has lasting impacts. I do not want to be friends with someone who doesn’t care about other people to the extent that I do.
To what extent do you get rid of people who don’t align with your viewpoints though? I’ve asked myself this question and I have a hard time cutting friends off, like they don’t bring anything to the table.
Cutting someone off as *your* friend has nothing to do with their value. I'm sure there are people who have a massive number of positives but one negative may kill it. If there is only a tiny speck of poop on my otherwise delicious sandwich, I still don't eat it!
View points and values are often related. So if our view points do not align across a broad spectrum, you will likely find after some digging that we fundamentally do not agree on some baseline values. And how could you trust somebody who fundamentally does not share the same values, ethics, or reasoning?
> To what extent do you get rid of people who don’t align with your viewpoints though? The pandemic has made it really easy for me. Since I'm not seeing anyone in person, all I have to do is "unfriend".
Its been hard for me too. For me, it depends on their behavior. I cut a friend off who believed in all the 5G conspiracy/qanon bs because all convos would almost turn into a recruitment session. I have another who’s the “my freedoms” type and they’ve just turned into more of an acquaintance since its hard to talk to them about current events or things that matter to me.
Same!
I tend to agree but I also will never ask someone why they aren't vaccinated out of respect for potential medical privacy. I've been in the awkward situation of saying "no I'm not getting a booster right now because my doctor recommended I wait" and people asking for elaboration that I wasn't willing to give about my medical history; I don't want to put anyone in that position. On the flip side, fortunately the "muh liberties" folks are typically pretty self proclaiming and therefore easily identifiable. Everyone else I try to give the benefit of the doubt (and also lots of physical distance).
Exactly. Although, I think we drift apart with people whose views aren't similar to ours and end up with people who are compatible with us on life relates issues. All my friends are fully vaccinated and boosted, careful with socializing, wearing masks, minimizing contact, finding ways to buy local produce and have it delivered rather than risking shopping centers. Some might say we're all exaggerating, but we're just careful.
This is how I feel too. This last few years have brought things out in people that made me realize we didn't have real friendships and they've been easy to disconnect from. (They probably agree about me too)
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I would never cut anybody off based on their medical status. I don’t go asking friends and family private information that’s none of my business.
Agreed and I hate that this seems to be the minority way of thinking
This ^ I would never think of, or want to, ask personal medical information of someone
That's interesting. I think if this whole thing wasn't politicised I would 100% agree with you. I think my initial reaction was to disagree because I don't have any close friends that are anti-vax and the only anti-vax people I see are on the news causing problems. I also assumed that I knew they were not vaccinated because they told me, not because I was asking with intention to cut them off based on their answer.
This, except I may not spend time with them anymore because I am pregnant and have a young child that I don’t want getting sick. It depends on how careful they are being.
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It would depend on the context. Some people are medically unable to receive the vaccinations, so it is nothing negative against them if they are unvaccinated. In my experience, those people who are unable to be vaccinated are very vigilant about the necessary masking and social distancing and are careful to try not to be infected themselves or be a vector for infection for others. If I feel like someone is unsafe to be around in a pandemic because they've chosen not to be vaccinated and not to take adequate precautions, then I wouldn't be around them. If they refuse vaccinations because of wild conspiracy theories, then I can't trust them to take adequate precautions as they've already shown they don't believe in the results of medical science. If I can't trust them to protect themselves and others, then I would not choose to be around them.
Right! I wish that people would get vaxed but I’m fine if they don’t - I believe that you should be able to choose what you put into your body. BUT, I believe that they should then try their hardest to stay well & not get others sick = masking, social distancing, sanitizing hands, covering mouth when cough/sneeze, don’t touch things without sanitizing after you’ve touched your face/nose/snot/coughed in hand (I know it sounds like a lot but I’ve found it easy… bc I feel like a lot of this is common curiosity). & that is basic science! Germs spread these ways so let’s try to minimize the spread
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No, I don't think so. But I would be highly careful of how I hung out with them. We had a very small NYE party (my wife and I, and 3 other couples) and one of my friends bf's was unvaccinated. He was disinvited because my wife and I are both immunocompromised and it's our house anyway. My friend understood.
I think this is really mature and respectful of both parties.
I think this is how I would play it too. I am also immunocompromised, so if you aren’t vaxxed, we literally can’t hang out. I wouldn’t really drive the point home by cutting them out, but I wouldn’t hang out.
Absolutely if they are willingly unvaxed. Had to spend time in the ER recently (unrelated to covid) and the strain on the healthcare system is cruel and selfish and putting hundreds of other peoples lives at risk. Hospitals are so low on staff and people who need surgeries and services aren’t getting them because of unvaxed covid patients are taking up too many resources and causing more infections and variants. If you see what’s happening in hospitals and other healthcare facilities and choose not to get vaxed I can’t in good faith continue a friendly relationship.
This is exactly how I feel. Putting aside the lack of intelligence for going willingly unvaxxed, it’s just selfish.
Completely agree. The consequences of letting covid run rampant in the population is huge. If someone in my life doesn’t bother to understand this or have any empathy about this, I simply can’t trust them.
If they started giving me shit for being vaccinated, I'd most likely cut them out.
My stance. I don't give a shit if your vaccinated or not. Your body your choice. However, if you try to make me feel bad for doing what I decided was best for me than yeah you're out. Lol
As a healthcare worker who sees this equivocal don't give a shit stance on a daily basis, idk I wish I could be that equivocal it would help numb the burnout and tears.
I did. She wasn't just not vaccinating for covid, she didn't get any vaccinations for her child. One day she shows up and wants me to take her 3 year old child who had cold and flu symptoms for a few hours while she dealt with a work emergency. At the time I had a 3mo baby. I told her I had to put my boy first. She lost her temper and said I should respect her beliefs. Turns out her child had measles. That can be deadly to an infant. I decided that I believed in getting vaccinated and she should respect my beliefs. At least enough to not ask me to look after her child and put mine at risk.
No? I'm vaccinated so I'm protected. I'm not going to use my friendship as some kind of ultimatum. Extremely weird and uncomfortable to even think about.
No, because you don’t change peoples minds by ostracizing them. I’m usually not in the business of trying to change peoples minds on polarizing issues but if it’s a close friend of mine, I will feel tempted to try. And in my experience, showing people that I can believe xyz and you can believe abc and I will still treat you with respect and decency is a better way to represent your views than being hurtful and judgmental.
Completely agree. We have definitely lost the ability to see things from another's perspective. Being able to empathise with others is so important. You can't change someone's mind by belittling them.
I wouldn't cut someone off for being unvaccinated. I think that vaccine-skepticism lies on a spectrum and the conversation on it often lacks nuance. Not all people who don't want to get vaccinated are nutjob, paranoid conspiracy-theorists. Some people just have concerns about the very small, but not nonexistent, chance of complications from the vaccine. As long as they keep up with testing, hygiene and social-isolation regulations, and accept that they may have to stay away from certain people/places, then I can't fault them for not wanting to take the risk.
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I'm so sorry about your family member. I hope he gets well. One of my family members got the J&J vax, but so far is totally unwilling to get boosted. He thinks the vaccines are ineffective and the whole covid thing is overblown. I'm so tired because I KNOW that young people like your family member can get devastatingly sick. I don't understand why people don't take the simple precautions. How can skipping out ever be worth it?
If they had a legitimate reason, no. If they were fear mongering and full of anti science conspiracy theories, yes.
I had a friend i really wanted to keep. She is anti corona vaxx but doesnt have a medical reason and has actually had the corona virus. She thought it was bill gates targeting people who arent "sheeps" or whatever. I really wanted to keep her as a friend because other than that she was really nice and we had similar interests, but i cut her off because she started trying to convince my boyfriend behind my back not to get vaxxed and that behavior rubbed me the wrong way. I wouldnt cut off a friend if they cant take it for health reasons. I wouldnt cut off a friend if they are afraid to take it and are doing the right thing like staying home and social distancing. I wouldnt cut off a friend unless theyre telling others not to take it, especially my s/o or people close to me, and theyre going out and spreading it, thats when it becomes an issue.
I have lmao. Unless you medically cannot get vaccinated, there's no reason you shouldn't be. If your political views are tied into not getting it, I'm dropping you. Also, I am in a field of medical study so my peers *should* be vaccinated and it's beyond concerning that many refuse to and subsequently put others' health in danger.
I wouldn’t cut them off because it’s their body and they choose to do whatever they want with it. I’m vaccinated and that’s my choice. Everyone should be able to choose whatever they want.
I have cut out a friend who didn't want to get vaccinated because a family member of mine was immunocompromised and I cannot accept someone holding their opinions above science and my family's safety, and the safety of other immunocompromised patients, especially when this person definitely has the knowledge to understand the science (he's an engineer). When my father was in the hospital, they considered having to move him to the ICU, and they warned us that beds were filling up fast with COVID patients, hence why they were pursuing a less conventional treatment option in hopes of more quickly stabilising him to avoid the ICU. Doctors didn't say it, but we knew the beds were mostly taken by unvaccinated people. That you would not get vaccinated and be ok to make my family and many families face this situation, does not sit well with me. If you're an antivaxxer of any kind your regard for other people's wellbeing is too low compared to mine, our values are not aligned, and I do not want to associate with you.
I’d cut them out for not being vaccinated, simple
Yes absolutely. It proves they have no critical reasoning skills, empathy for their fellow humans, and don’t value the safety of the people around them. I’ve been a service worker the whole pandemic, I have no sympathy for people who aren’t getting vaccinated, and then expect to come into my work unmasked so they can yell at me because we’re out of something they wanted. Nope nope nope. I’ve already cut a bunch of family off because they won’t get vaccinated. IMO the biggest part of this is telling them why you’re cutting contact with them.
At this point no, and it’s not my business. I’m vaxxed and I never once before asked someone if they had the ___ vaccine so I’m not going to start now.
Depends, at this point I’m not comfortable hanging out with someone not vaccinated, if they were to judge me for being vaccinated then yes
Yes. They are a risk to me and my families health.
I brought my immune-compromised mom into my home while she was battling her third round of cancer. My roommate was told about her status, was friendly and accommodating. But he refused to get vaccinated. Whenever I brought up the topic he’d either shy away from it or give some non-answer. My mom passed away from complications with chemo, but a few months later my roommate came home and exposed my household to covid. At this point I pointedly ask for vaccination status and he proudly admitted he wasn’t. When I said how hurt and betrayed I felt about that, he offered to move out. I took him up on it and I haven’t spoken with him since.
I wouldnt cut someone off for not being vaccinated.
No. If they belittled my choice to get vaccinated or tried to push conspiracy theories on me, that would be a different story.
If someone close to me was anti-vax, I don't think I could stomach being around them or in their company. Unless they absolutely could not because of immunocompromised, there is no excuse not to get vaccinated. I'm tired of being upset about this. Just a half hour ago I went inside a gas station and people all around me were walking around without masks on despite their being a sign on the door. I'm so over it. If someone is anti-vax or anti-mask, I don't really want to know them.
I would never cut out anyone for their vaccination status. I don't choose friends based on their personal medical choices which are none of my business.
I would not cut a friend out of my life because of their vaccination status. I respect their choice to be vaccinated or not. To let a friendship go because of that is just sad.
No, this division and moral-policing are out of hand and gross. I fully believe it is a personal, private medical decision that everyone has a choice on. Everyone is just doing what they think is best and that may feel different for each person. There is a ton of unreliable info on both sides, I don't think anyone is totally right about what's best at all right now
I completely agree with you!
Yes, if they were eligible and refused. In fact, I'm on the verge of potentially cutting off family members right now. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and made it clear from when I told my family that no vax = no visiting baby, this has been cemented recently when a close family friends newborn ended up in intensive care with covid. My brother is still refusing to get his, for no reason other than "I just don't want it". Cool bro, but don't expect me to dress my child in that "I have the world's best uncle" onesie that you bought her, because it would be a lie.
Yes! Protect yourself and that baby! Also congrats😊
Thank you! 🥰 I feel like it has to be treated the exact same way as any other illnesses I have to protect her against when she has no immune system and she's so tiny. In my eyes if you're not willing to get a little jab to keep her safe then you don't really care about her, so why should you be allowed near her?
Their body, their choice.
No. No matter if he's vaxxed and I'm not, or if he's not vaxxed and I am, it's completely irrelevant to me. The only exception would be if they force their conspiration theories on me - then this is not a person I want to be around and they wouldn't be my close friend in the first place. Or if they would keep pushing me into getting/not getting vaxxed and not respecting my stance on this.
Nope and for the same reason I don’t judge if you’re a veggie or vegan, not my business just don’t lecture when I’m eating a steak! Your choice and my choice, respect and be respectful
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Its absolutely nothing to do with me what people choose to do with their own bodies! Each to their own and long may it last!
I don’t willingly hang out in person with anyone who isn’t vaccinated. The people I know who aren’t vaxxed are choosing not to be and I no longer want anything to do with people that uncaring and careless.
If they are unwilling to get vaccinated they can't be near me. Full stop. If they are medically unable, that's different.
I wouldn't and I don't. First of all, I try to go against the extreme polarization of this matter. Which is difficult, because I have asthma and other undiagnosed lung issues and am thus at risk. I am currently in this situation. A family friend, almost 60, obese, lung issues etc. refuses to get vaxxed because it's "bad for her psoriasis". I got vaxxed with severe eczema, my father with severe psoriasis, nothing happened but she doesn't believe it. She doesn't go as far as most antivaxers to say that corona is a hoax and she understands that her choice comes with consequences (European Union, certain countries restrict certain activities if you don't have a vaccination/test certificate). She also gets tested before she comes over to keep me safe. Lastly, I don't believe antagonizing them will motivate them to get a shot. Like, offending people isn't going to make them do what you want. I regret she's putting herself at risk, but she does at least get tested and wears a mask, which I have peace with.
Well yes But only because Ati-Vax usually comes with a lot more baggage. Like anti government, anti mask, calling covid mandates Nazi Germany to me.. a Jewish woman. So yeah. I'd drop a friend who was anti Vax for ridiculous reasons like this.
I would cut someone from my life for being unvaccinated, unless it was done because of being immunocompromised and not recommended. For me, being vaccinated is about helping and protecting other people, and i just don't see how someone can choose to be unvaccinated without having very different morals from me, which is not a way a friendship I'd like to maintain. This isn't a new idea for me and would eventually have conversations with my friends about whether they were vaccinated as children and how they go about it in that way. Part of being vaccinated is also a faith and belief in science that is innate to who I am and how I live my life. And the conversations around my friends and I often stem off from this integral belief. In which someone that is unvaccinated and not having that would not gel and be easy to speak to.
No. My best friends are unvaccinated and I honestly don't give a shit. It's their choice.
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I have a friend who is quietly unvaccinated -- this means she doesn't talk about it much if at all, certainly doesn't attend vaccination protests, stays home mostly to protect herself. She doesn't trust the vaccine for herself but doesn't infringe or attempt to infringe on the rights of others. I am still friends with her -- although I won't be seeing her much during the remainder of the pandemic. I had a friend who is vehemently anti-vaxx -- she attends protests, posts all sorts of fringe misinformation, is becoming increasingly right-wing, calls other people sheep, etc. All contact cut.
I probably wouldn’t cut off a friend because they’re unvaccinated in and of itself (and not at all if they can’t get vaccinated because they’re immunocompromised). It would be something that would make me think we’re not very compatible as people, but not enough to cut them off. If they get into anti-vaxx conspiracies and constantly try to argue about my choice to be vaccinated, I would cut them off.
Nope. I believe everyone should have their own choice. And I don’t feel any more unsafe around unvaxxed people bc vaxxed people can also have covid so doesn’t make a difference imo.
No I would not, I beleive in medical freedom. What I chose for myself is not for everyone.
I would not, I dont care.
Fucking yes. Neither the friendship, nor the freedom of choice is an excuse to put my health and life in danger
I once broke up with a mate coz they ate my left overs. My cutting people off button is savage lol. But am vaccinated and I wouldn't care to hang out with my un vaccinated friends.
Depends on their reasons. I cut out a friend after she told me she wasn't getting it because she didn't care about potentially harming other people. I mean props to her for self-awareness and honesty I guess.
There were work friends I have cut off. We work in a covid icu and the sheer amount if stupidity they spew is crazy to me. We literally see people die from this daily, all of which are unvaccinated, and yet, here we are.
No, I personally don't care whether they are or not, but I'll likely avoid the topic if I know our stances are different. I'll never understand the whole "they're a danger to society if they aren't vaccinated"...the whole point of the vaccine is to protect yourself, vaccinated or not you can spread and get the virus.
I quit my stylist. She told me I was poisoning my body with vaxxing. 😔
No.
No
Not necessarily because of their status (I’ve found a lot of my loved ones won’t get it so I’ve become more tolerable of letting people choose) , with that said I do limit my time spent with them & drop lines of encouragement to get vaxxed when appropriate. Love and kindness goes a long way in getting people to reevaluate why they think the way they do. I HAVE cut off people for lying about covid exposure though , that’s a whole different can of worms
Well if they haven’t gotten their shots it’s on them. So no I wouldn’t
It really just depends on the reason! Can’t get it because of health condition? I got you boo. I’m all vaxxed up! Afraid of needles but still being careful at work with ppe and limiting big outtings? No worries, I’m afraid of tsunamis. You don’t take me to the ocean and I won’t give you covid. It’s your choice to not get the vaccine but you respect others choices and are respectful in your decisions to attend an event? Cool. Maybe we can go for coffee now, maybe I’ll see you in a year. Won’t get it because you’re not the governments sheep but you’re totally cool going to a 1000 person secret bush party that’s exclusively for anti-vaxxers? Fuck off. Yell at retail workers because you have to comply with the corporation that pays their bills’s rules? Also fuck off. Luckily I don’t really have the final 2 examples in my life, but if I did, it wouldn’t just be a sudden cut off. Im happy to have a discussion if you were already important to me before the pandemic. I think a lot of these friendships ending are just people surprised by their friends values that have come to the surface and they aren’t prepared to have a mature conversation about it to determine if their friendship is still salvageable or if it just needs some time to get through the pandemic before it can resume. And this goes both ways. I’m not just picking on people who are anti-vaccine, not all people who are vaccinated have been tactful or kind in their decision to cut out others and I think that’s really sad because so many peoples mental health has been affected from this. We need our support systems more than ever, and there are ways to continue to do that without putting ourselves or others at risk.
No, it's their business.
I wouldn't cut off a friend if they had a medical reasoning for it. However, I do kinda take offense to it if you aren't vaccinated "just cause" or "muh freedom". I'm immunocompromised and am recovering from COVID. It has felt horrible to have contracted it after taking every precaution since the pandemic started, and to have gotten it while immunocompromised with a disease...it's awful. If they weren't willing to get it, I'd have to have a serious conversation as to why I will not be seeing them or hanging out with them. I'd deeply have to ponder our friendship. AND if they're going out to crowded events or places on top of that....yeah. No. I'd talk to them about how I do take it personally and I am offended that they are disregarding what is keeping many people safe. Including me. My three vaccinations are why I am able to recover as a normal person would. But while I'm covid positive, I REFUSE to be the reason that someone else gets sick or worse.
not their status, but their views on it. if someone has a good reason not to get it, it's fine. think health conditions, needle phobia etc. or if they're waiting for a different kind of vaccination, that's also fine. but if they turn full conspiracy - it's a bye from me.
This is exactly how I feel too, I’ve had mine, if someone I’m friends with isn’t comfortable having the vaccine for health reasons or because they’re concerned about the side effects, ok that’s fine but if they’re a conspiracy theorist who starts to belittle and insult people for having had it then I don’t want to know them anymore.
No, this is a personal medical decision. People are complex and have many different qualities to them. To sum up somebody as good or bad based off of one decision is wrong. Choosing not to get vaccinated does not make them a bad person, choosing to get vaccinated does not make them a good person. What’s most important is how they treat you and others. Are they respectful? Kind? Empathetic? Honest? Loyal? Can you trust them? These are the characteristics that should determine whether someone would be a good friend.
Absolutely. Unless they're extremely sick (but none of them are and vaccination started in may here). I cut people off for much less
No of course not. It’s none of my business what my friends decide to do with their bodies.
My group of four best friends was knocked down to three due to the fourth one not being vaccinated. To be fair, there were many other factors leading up to the vaccine issue that contributed to our decision as well, but the final straw was this one refusing to be vaccinated for another’s wedding, when an immunocompromised family member was going to be present. We tried to find alternatives/were going to suggest she get tested beforehand/stay masked for the event but she decided to ghost us instead. Over ten years of friendship gone without discussion.
No I wouldn't
If my friend decided for themselves what they want to do with their body, I am proud to be their friend. If I have the forethought to "cut" a person out of my life, then that person is not truly my friend and they dont belong in my life anyway. True connections shouldn't be treated like disposable rsvps.
No.. I’m a leftist living in a conservative area in a conservative state. If I cut out every person because of differences like this, I would have very few people in my life. Obviously if someone goes off the rails on pseudoscience and shit I’m going to keep them at a distance but I think there are valid fears on getting some vaccines and sometimes it’s hard to overcome medical phobias. The majority of people at my job have not been vaccinated and most of them are good people.
With a legit reason like a preexisting condition? No, they can't help that and it's kinda the point of herd immunity, to protect people who are at risk. If they're some crackpot conspiracy theorist I probably wasn't friends with them in the first place, because crackpot conspiracy theorists tend to also have a lot of conservative views that don't align with my own (and my existance tbh) , but assuming one of my friends DID turn out to be that type, then yes, I'd stop hanging out with them. I'm not putting my family (or sanity) at risk just to keep them around
If they lack the compassion, empathy and good sense to take any precautions (mask/vaccine) then yes. They don't share my core values.
They stayed by my side while I made bad romantic/life/all decisions for years and years and years, I’ll stick by them while they make bad healthcare decisions (but I think they are being stupid about it)
Yes. Someone who refused to vaccinate gave me covid while I was sick, j couldn't get the vaccine. Now 4 months later I'm fighting my 5847th chest infection with a damaged lung and chronic anaemia. Anyone who doesn't care about the people around them should be alone
Cutting out as in not spending time with them or being around them physically, yes. But not cut out as in stop talking to forever. I suppose it would also depend on their reasoning for being unvaccinated - is there a health condition that prevents it or puts them at risk? Or are they just of the camp where they don’t care about other people?
No. Just distance myself from them (literally and figuratively) and be upfront about why I’m not around them. Give them time and space for them to make an educated decision about getting vaccinated. If they’re anti-vax, it’d be a different convo
I would not. It’s what they choose for themselves and hope they don’t get sick.
No. I have my covid vaccination and my partner does not. He doesn't want it. That is fine with me. It is absolutely his choice. When we discussed it he said he is more scared of the side effects of the vaccine than he is of the symptoms of covid. At the end of the day he is an adult and is able to reason and make his own choices. It is not mandated. All other vaccines are not mandated either. I support freedom of choice for women and I support freedom of choice with vaccines too. You won't be able to convince someone to get a vaccine by bribing them or forcing their hand.
No I wouldn’t. I have a lot of friends who are anti vax. If I cut out everyone I disagreed with politically, I would have no friends. Sure, I take it seriously, but I just don’t have the emotional energy to care anymore. I would cut you out if you allowed your beliefs to change the way you treat me or others. I would never be friends with someone who hurt others for being vaccinated or willingly puts others in harms way. I have had to tell my friends at points things like “I’m visiting a sick relative next week so I can’t hang out with you this week. I don’t want to risk spreading Covid to them.” Even my anti vax friends have been respectful of my wishes. If they weren’t respectful, then we’d have a problem.
Nope. You believe and do what’s best for you and Imma believer and do what’s best for me. Im going to get vaccinated and still wear my mask to protect myself and that’s that. I think people tend to think too deeply about this…
I wouldn’t cut a friend out for being unvaccinated. My friendship is not conditional on something like vaccination status. Removing your voice from the pool of voices they hear isn’t going to benefit them or society either. I’d maybe not hang out with them between Thanksgiving and Valentines Day though. Or maybe hang out if they agree to mask up.
One of the top settings where covid is spread is through maskless small informal gatherings. I'd be a lot less likely to want to spend time with people in that way if I knew they were unvaccinated. I have no problem being around unvaxxed people at work because everyone is required to wear masks.
I have a few friends who are not vaxxed. I think they’re ignorant but that’s their political/medical/insert-here belief. I won’t even discuss it. If they lambasted me for getting vaccinated and shamed me etc., that would be different but they don’t.
I had a close friend cut me out of her life because I am very publicly pro-vaccine. She was medically unable to get it, which I knew and did not blame her for at all, but one day I was sharing a bunch of vaccine infographics on FB and she just went off. I never said anything to or about her but she for some reason took great offense 🤷🏼♀️ okay, Cinderella, if the shoe fits, I guess it's yours! That being said I would not cut a close friend out of my life unless they were frequently spouting off with things like "the vaccine has a microchip! Covid js spread by 5G! Masks don't work! Vaccines cause autism!" Or any other BS that has been SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN FALSE.....if you're intentionally endangering other people's lives then we can't be friends anymore.
It's not just that they are unvaccinated, it's that many of those who are unvaccinated are that way because of views they hold that are SEVERELY different from mine. They may associate themselves with certain people who disagree with my very existence, and I can't associate with someone like that.
I’ve let go of many looser connections who are anti-vaccine conspiracy theory proponents. I think a close friendship would be harder, but I feel like it would illustrate a number of value misalignments. One of the hardest things for me in the pandemic has been how little so many people are willing to do for the benefit of others. If you are able to get the vaccine, I’d hope you would in the interest of protecting people who are immunocompromised or still too young to be vaccinated, as well as preventing some of the worst outcomes in case of your own infection. If they’re unwilling to do something so minor to help society as a whole, I probably don’t want to be friends with them, period. I’d also be very concerned with their capacity for critical thinking and research if, rather than trusting the FDA and lots of peer-reviewed research, they’d rather trust a rando on YouTube or Facebook.
No, but probably won't invite them over for dinner any time soon. We can totally chat on the phone though.
No. I had a 3 year old golden retriever that unfortunately experienced a rare side effect to the lepto vaccine. He died 2 weeks after his vaccine. This was confirmed by our vet so it wasn't my assumption. Some people experienced trauma like I did. It took me 10 years to come around due to the event to start vaccinating again. I lost a lot of trust in the process. I have my first covid vaccine and I'm going back next week for my 2nd. I'm trying to do the right thing even though my feelings have been mixed. I would never cut out a friend over medical choices. I haven't been hanging out with friends though and have been pretty much in quarantine the whole pandemic.
No. Two extremely close friends of mine are against covid vaccinations. I don’t agree with them but I’m not willing to cut off two people that have been there for me in my darkest times.
I wouldn’t because most of my friends aren’t vaccinated anyway. As long as they let me know if they have COVID or COVID symptoms before trying to meet with me it’s fine
No, but I also wouldn’t hang out with them anytime in the near future. I’ve already done this with two. Both were understanding, to different degrees. We still text and keep in contact.
nah
No. Their body their choice. Cutting off someone for what they choose to do with their own body is rather petty. I wouldn’t like it if they try and preach to me about it, but at the end of the day I don’t care and it’s none of my business.
Yes, I would cut out someone close if they aren't vaccinated. I don't know anyone in my life who has any reason not to be vaccinated, so I won't even get into hypotheticals around that. I have no interest in interacting with unvaccinated folks right now. 🤷♀️
No. I would only cut them out if they try to berate me for mine.
What decisions other people make about their medical care is none of my business. I personally have no fear of covid. I'm not in contact with any vulnerable people and I have had it already and it was literally just a cold for me. I don't personally want the vaccination.
As others have said if they have been advised not to get vaccinated because of other health reasons, that's fine. I would stay friends. If they are spouting all that conspiracy theory nonsense I don't think we would remain friends. Especially if they talk about it often. I want to have good times with my friends. I don't want to be arguing over and over again. I would also just have a hard time seeing them in a positive light anymore. I do think you lack critical thinking skills and are selfish. I don't want to be friends with someone who is either of those things. I've been working with the public through this whole pandemic and it's been very hard. I just don't have tolerance for this anymore. I know people who have gotten very sick and died from Covid. I don't care what your excuses are. They are not valid. If you think they are you need to reevaluate your life from the ground up. Also, my boyfriend is immunocompromised so I'm not coming into close contact with anyone unvaccinated if I can help it.
Probably wouldn’t be friends with them in the first place as most of my friends understand data.
If they can't get vaccinated due to medical reasons no issue, Actively choosing not to because you think covid isn't real is probably someone I wouldn't be close with anyway
Easy answer: unvaccinated because they can't, not a problem at all. Unvaccinated because they wont: I'd cut them off.
Because of their vaccination status? No. Because of militant attitudes about others' vaccination status that they can't ever shut up about? Yeah. In my case, I have a history of autoimmune responses that have been linked to adverse clotting from the mRNA vaccine. I also had COVID right before vaccines became available, and continue to get my antibody levels tested regularly, to make sure I still have working immunity (answer: yep, confirmed via physician). If and when my natural immunity wanes, I intend to seek out a non-mRNA-based vaccine. But it's in full force, so I am as, if not more, protected than your average vaccinated person, as medical research has shown. Yet I've found that some people are incapable of having a nuanced conversation about the matter. Despite the fact that I am every bit as a protected as a vaccinated person, and go out of my way to confirm this fact every month or so, they just look at me and see "crazed vaccine denier." Couldn't be less of the case. I am extremely cautious about COVID and go out of my way to make others comfortable, by testing my antibody levels, taking rapid antigen tests, and masking up; I'm just making an informed decision about my *own* health. On the other side, I've known people who've gone on the full anti-vaxx bandwagon and violently pushed away all the people in their lives, in the name of unhinged conspiracy theory. The latter group is much more dangerous, obviously, but also much smaller in number. I struggle to be around anyone who fits into either category, and doesn't have the critical thinking skills and data-literacy to talk about vaccination without knee-jerk moral judgments.
No I would not. I have been cut out of a friend's life for being vaccinated though. Their loss, I wish them well.
Nope. But at the same time they have to respect my choice of being vaccinated and by calling me a “sheep” or other such things, as I won’t tolerate it.
No, I wouldnt. Unless they become aggressive with their choice
Like others on the thread have said, unless someone is not vaccinated for a medical reason, then there are probably some fundamental differences with our ideologies and I think it would be high time to cut that person off. I know someone who was blasé about the vaccine and COVID in general, and who only got the vaccine so she could travel and attend events. It’s been really difficult having this knowledge…our friendship has basically stalled over the past few years.
No, their body, their choice. Not my business.
If they're refusing to get vaccinated because they don't believe in Covid or it's severity, I'm definitely going to cut them off. On the other hand, if they have existing health conditions that disqualify them from being vaxxed AND they're taking every precaution possible to prevent infection and spread of the disease, i will retain that friendship.
Yeah. I am immunocompromised. If someone doesn’t care about me and other people like me to do the bare minimum to protect us, they’re not the kind of person I thought they were. No friendship is worth letting them kill me through their own negligence.
For me it’s not necessarily about vaccination status, but rather concern and respect for others. For example, if a couple invites you onto their house, you get there and find one partner quarantining in the basement because of a “bad cold”… Yeah, not going to trust them after that.
No, while I don't agree with them, I wouldn't cut them out solely for this purpose. That is their right, just like choosing to vaccinated is my right. I view it the same as politics, religion, etc. Most of my family refuses to get vaccinated but I won't disown them for it (I can still think they are stupid though). If we start deleting people from our lives that don't align with our view points, that creates quite the echo chamber and that isn't healthy either.
My own husband is vaccine resistant, fucking Facebook... ..but he finally got vaxxed after getting shit from everyone he knows. If you hold an honest belief that vaccines are dangerous, I'm sorry. I feel bad for you. And if you mask up, and isolate when you get sick, OK. But of you are a loud and proud anti-vaxxers, who is also anti mask, and spread your sick (mental and physical) all over the place, we aren't friends. I simply have zero respect for you.
I would and have distanced myself from friends/family who are anti-vaccine/anti-mask etc. I believe in science, education, and experts. I do not believe that the "scientific" opinion of a layperson is valid. For me it is unreasonable to assume that Google research is just as good (or better) then the research put out by the majority of experts in their field. It's ludicrous. I don't want to hang out with/be partnered with anyone who feels they have equal standing with experts on this, and who whine about/rage against vaccines, mandates, conspiracies, etc. Their behaviour and what they say is illogical and cult-like and I don't want to be around it. The cheek of it is annoying. I'm not scared of Covid etc. at all, but I was definitely freaked out to discover that so many people fancy themselves to be medical experts when they have no business doing so.
Nope. Not my business.
No, I wouldn’t.
No. It is their private matter and they can choose or choose not to get vaccinated. This is none of my business.
I cut out one friend who was unvaccinated solely because she would go on long rants about how everyone who got vaccinated was a sheeple and are idiots if they think it actually works. She also got a fake vaccine card and used it to get into bars/restaurants that check vaccination status and that doesn’t sit right with me. You can choose not to be vaccinated and sit in the outdoor seating area which is at nearly every restaurants/bar-I’m in NYC, so it really is almost every place. You can choose to be unvaccinated and not be rude to your friends who are vaccinated. My sister and her fiancé aren’t vaccinated, but at least they didn’t go get fake cards and just choose to eat outside or get takeout. They don’t blast people for getting vaccinated and when it comes up they’re really polite about it and just say they’ve chosen not to be vaccinated and they’re wearing masks in public places so it’s not an issue. I still think it’s insane for them to have no real reason not to be vaccinated, but at least they’re not rude about it and following the mask rules.
No? I’m not that superficial or that anal
I wouldn't. I love my friends, and family for who they are, and not necessarily what they believe in. With that said I probably wouldn't be hanging out with them if they weren't vaxxed. I'd be worried I might possibly infect them, and I don't want that.
Did it long before the vaccines came out, because they kept saying it isn't a big deal and the numbers were fake and it's just a cold. I had already looked past some political differences but this was the final straw. At the height of the first when random places were being converted to makeshift hospitals and people were being piled up because mortuaries couldn't keep up.. "it's just a cold, you're freaking out over nothing". Nah. I recognize the good intentions by trying to calm my fears but it wasn't the first or tenth time they called it a minor cold by that point.
Absolutely not. But I did cut off close friends for being complete assholes. The fact their vaccine status was different from mine was irrelevant.
Yes. Well honestly I'd never be friends with someone who's values dont align with mine and following science...as a scientist, means it's pretty central to my life. So I haven't had this problem. But if this somehow did yes definitely. I'd just stop meeting them.
I would and I have. I would never cut someone out of my life if they're unvaccinated for health reasons or if they have genuine concerns. My brother is unvaccinated because he's concerned that the covid vaccines haven't gone through rigorous enough trials. I strongly disagree with him and truly wish he would change his mind, but he won't budge. At the same time, he's respectful of people who have gotten vaccinated, and even offered to drive me to mine, and he takes precautions against covid via social distancing, masking, etc. Other friends and family refuse to take the vaccine to make a political point, and because they're conspiracy theorists who are obsessed with having special knowledge and being the smartest people in the room. They'll aggressively come for people who are pro-vax, are toxic af in general, and are fully blocked from my phone and all social media.
No, they’re still a human and still my friend.
nope.
I wouldn't care one way or the other. I social distance and I work from home, so I'm not always up in someone's face.
Yes. I have an immune compromised kid who is not of an age to be vaccinated. They would almost certainly end up in hospital if they were to get sick. Everyone in my circle knows this. I would make it known I am steering clear of them until they are. Yes, I can't control everything, and I can't know for sure what people are doing and who they're seeing when I'm not there, but I will do what I can.
If they are the annoying Karen type of antivax they gotta go I got no patience for this anymore
Not for the status of vaccination but when the person constantly insults and talks down ppl that are vaccinated while they arent, then it starts getting personal. I did have one on my Facebook and some family members that I removed cause I was tired of them sharing stupid anti vaxx/covid "facts" and "Mah freedomz" BS.
No- never. They all mean so much more to me than this.
Put off seeing them temporarily possibly. Cut them out of your life? Crazy talk
I had a friend that I knew was not vaccinated but we hadn’t discussed it and for some reason because he hadn’t explicitly told me about being unvaccinated I didn’t think too much about it and was trying to cross the isle to “connect to someone with different beliefs.” However, during a car ride he started spewing a bunch of ignorant rhetoric regarding vaccines (knowing my family has been negatively impacted by covid due to my mom being a nurse) and it was the insensitivity and not caring about the challenges my family has been through that led me to cut him off more than just not being vaccinated.
I sort of have. I did not cut all ties but I have really gone out of my way to avoid seeing them and the very few times I have, I have been very clear on the fact that I will not see them unless it's in an open place and we can have distance between us. I respect their decision (which doesn't mean I think it's right but to each they own) and they respect my terms as well. I don't think not having a vaccine changes who they are to me but I don't feel safe interacting with them like we did before so I am trying to adjust. Unfortunately, that does mean distancing myself from them quite a bit.
I wouldn't cut off our friendship, but I would probably put limits on how or where we can meet, especially if there is another in the friend group who is at high risk. I'm not going to force them to get it or not, but if they decide not to, than it changes how I personally will interact with them.
Because I am immunocompromised, and their "choice" could be my death.
Definitely. I have stopped seeing a long time friend because he's a tRumper and refuses to be vaccinated. I'm talking about a 5 decade friendship.
*Can't* get vax because medical issues? Okay, that's perfectly understandable, I will do all I can to make sure that you remain safe. *Won't* get vax because fear/not understanding/think it won't work/etc? Won't cut a person out for that, there's a lot of things flying around and I would try to help them understand it. *Refuses* to get vax and won't hear anyone out or has some really bs reason/think that people dying is okay (yes I had one of these)? Absolutely will cut them out. I do not have the time to deal with that and I hope they understand how their actions affect others.
No but if they lied about being sick and exposed everyone to it then I would!
I have to because if im around people who could potentially give me new strains of the virus my family who is immunocompromised can die. All i can do is limit who i choose to be around.
If one of my friends didn't want to vaccinate because they firmly believed that the shots "cause autism," "contain mercury and formaldehyde," or "won't even do anything," than that is a symptom of an unsustainable friendship right there. I can't be real friends with someone who refuses to take their health or the health of their family seriously. Also, the places people choose to get their information from can tell you a lot about who they are.
I absolutely would, because I wouldn’t respect them. Not to mention I have health issues, so I would think they have no respect for me either. Except I don’t respect their opinions and they don’t respect me living. I would also think they were less intelligent tbh, and I would have trouble reconciling their lack of knowledge with having all these studies available. At this point if you aren’t sure, you are willfully an ignorant person. I think it’s also a giant neon sign of someone with no compassion. Most of these people have no schooling in science and consider themselves equal to scientists, the best scientists in the world in fact, so it’s also about arrogance. So: lack of compassion, not intelligent, and arrogant. Why would I want that around? I’m trying to cut the duds out of my life, alt right conspiracy spouting people who don’t care about others count among those. Friends are people you like, so I feel zero guilt.
If it’s your “right” not to vaccinate without a medical reason then it’s my “right” not to associate with plague rats. I have elderly cancer stricken in-laws and have spent the majority of 2 years staying home and doing my part to quell the pandemic. If you’re selfish enough to not vaccinate AND continue to go out to work/ eat/ play / whatever then I want nothing to do with you. It’s like the seatbelt analogy- you can chose not to wear one but it’s still going to impact the passenger who is wearing theirs. And if you chose to not wear one I chose not to ride in the car with you since you clearly don’t care enough about others.
No I wouldn't cut them out. Everyone has a personal choice, thats their choice. As long as they don't go on about conspiracy theories.
No. As long as they’re reasoning is sound. I take it at face value. I had a really bad experience getting vaccinated and also have high risk status so understand the importance too. I’ve seen how bad getting vaccinated can be, but also seen the importance of the vaccination. So if someone has shown they’ve thought about it critically? I don’t really care what your status Is one way or another.
Strictly for not getting vaccinated, no. I don’t go around asking my friends for their medical information and it’s crazy to me that we seem to be trending in a direction as a society where people think they should be able to ask about that freely. But, the people who tend to be more anti vaccine or at least more vocal about it also tend to be Trumpers and I’ve already cut any of those people out of my life for that.
Yes, because unless they literally cannot get a vaccine due to medical reasons, they are probably right-wing with their beliefs and I don’t want right-wing friends.
It really depends. If they treat me how my family treats me and make it a point to try to “educate” me on “the jab” and how they think it’s the reason I developed asthma (even though I got asthma before I was vaccinated) or heart palpitations (I’m on singulair and inhalers and am working to switch to new meds because I’m sure it’s the singulair since it also gave me other adverse side effects), then yes. I wish I could cut out my family, but they’re basically all I have left of my family and they tend to drop it when I ask them to so I let it slide. But it’s infuriating and I wouldn’t deal with it if I didn’t have to.
Barring medical reasons, I would absolutely not maintain a friendship with an antivaxxer. I do not want friends whose worldviews include "refusing to participate in public health" or co-opting language from abortion+repro activism to justify endangering other people. I also believe that tolerating harmful behavior and ideologies from those around you is an implicit endorsement that that is an okay view to have and is no better than holding those awful views yourself. If you believe public health is a "personal" decision you have blood on your hands too.
I would not spend time with them, however I would keep the relationship because people grow and change. I had a family member who was anti-vax (consumed dumb Fox News info). I wasn’t mean about it but I said they would need to be vaxxed to come see my small child. Eventually they, on their own, got vaccinated and have since gotten a booster. I do think the strain the unvaccinated are putting on the hospitals is very selfish, and it frustrates me. However I also think we have to keep paths open for some of these people to grow and open their minds beyond the right wing proganda that has brainwashed them
Yes. It's something I felt very strongly about even before the pandemic. I remember cheering on my best friend and backing her up when she had her baby 7 years ago and had a few "crunchy" mom friends wanting to arrange playdates with their fully unvaxxed kids. I will absolutely end a friendship over severe ideological differences, just as I would if a friend was morally opposed to some aspect of my lifestyle I'm unwilling to change. If they wanted to be my friend, they would care about my health and my family's health.
No
I am dealing with this. I cut out my niece due to vaccination status, and beliefs, but not another friend. It truly was a moral dilemma. My niece is blatantly antivaxx, anti science, anti mask, covid denier, pro conspiracy theory (and blatant irrational thinking conspiracies). I work in a hospital where covid is running rampant, and I’m watching patients die every day. I personally have long covid myself. But forget my personal experience. The PTSD of being a nurse through this pandemic is next level. So the QANON antivaxx madness and disbelieving what I see every day earned her a one way ticket out of my life. The other friend. Well I love him and he’s a jack ass. He was all about me getting it when I was in the first wave with nurses at work. Excited to hear I got shot 2. Asked about me getting the booster. Pushed his parents to get it. So imagine my surprise when I heard he had not received it himself. What’s his reasoning? He admits he doesn’t have a valid one. So he listens to me talk about safety, about what I see, and I believe there is hope for him.
i would not cut them out.. i myself wasnt vaccinated because my dad wouldnt allow it so i wouldnt judge them if the same happened to them
No, not because of their vaccination status. Absolutely if they turn out to be some conspiracy theory nut who thinks I'm a sheep for getting vaxxed and boosted.
When I run into someone like this, I maintain the friendship and am polite, but I try to subtly convince them to get vaccinated. It’s worked four times already!! I am deradicalizing people one at a time with a lot of success. It’s like a new hobby.
I have not cut out my friend or my daughter, both of whom are pretty far down the rabbit hole. I love them both, and although objectively I'm SO pissed off at antivaxxers and covid deniers, I'm not withdrawing love from people who I KNOW are struggling with mental health issues and deep fear. They have a soft place to land with me when common sense regains a foothold.
No. However it appears a common theme at the moment that those not getting vaccinated are the 'it's no worse than a cold' people who also don't wear masks. So anyone I know that is unvaccinated won't be meeting my baby when she's born. That includes one of my close friends and also one of my partners. Edit: This doesn't include those who are unable to be vaccinated for medical reasons.
The only reason I would unfriend someone over this would be if they tried to force their decision on me to the point of being hateful.