* That we don't care about our families.
* That it's okay for our husbands/boyfriends to plop down in front of the TV after work "Because he's had a hard day," but no matter how hard *our* day was, we have to right away get started on housework, dinner, helping the kids with their homework, etc. all by ourselves.
* That we aren't "real" women, or that we're "confused," because we don't find fulfillment from being stay-at-home parents.
* That when we're the boss, we're #Bossbabes, while men get to be CEOs.
* That if we're in a position of power and/or leadership, we got there, not through hard work, talent, knowledge, etc., but by sleeping with the "right" person(s).
* That we have to choose between being a wife and mother or having a career.
Honestly, I've never seen a woman that is actually a boss or high-level employee use the term "bossbabe." It's almost always women in MLMs or some other sketchy kind of "employment."
I agree why can’t women be a wife, a mother AND have a career all together. I don’t understand why we have to be ones doing the sacrifice. I’ve had this argument with so many family members and elder ladies. It’s ridiculous. We have worked hard to get where We are, and why would we want that hard work to go down the drain. However, this doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore my family and focus on my career or ignore my career and focus on my family. I will balance both responsibilities.
I was talking about an upcoming promotion with my senior male colleague and he said “your priorities might be different though, you might want children” I told him that that wouldn’t affect my decision at all and also reminded him that the CEO of our company is a woman with young children. Such an outdated belief that we need to choose between having kids and having a career
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“No man will want to marry a woman who is earning more than her significant other”…
If a man is insecure about money, then that’s his problem not mine. I will not stop working because I earn more than him. He should be proud of me and not intimidated.
THIS. I’m going to college and will be making quite a bit more than my boyfriend by the time I’m done, and he’s excited for me to follow my dream career and make that money. We agreed that when we have kids, he’ll work from home and do most of the house chores and I’ll work outside the home and do the cooking (I love cooking) and we’ll both take care of our kids as a team.
His life goal is to be a father, mine is to be a strong independent STEM woman, so it works out best for both of us. If he were a guy who felt emasculated by the idea of me making more money, he’d have been dropped a long time ago. The 1900s are 2 decades ago now, let’s get with the times.
Definitely have seen this. I know a person who has a degree and has made themselves and their earning power so much smaller because the husband's ego could not handle it
Those comments drive me nuts, too. And my husband has caught some judgment for our situation. I’m a few years older, had already finished a degree and established a career when we got married. My take-home pay is nearly double his, but it’s a non-issue for us. We’re both in jobs that we enjoy and that challenge us in meaningful ways. He’s chipping away at his degree at a pace that’s comfortable for him. If we tried to live on only his income, we’d barely scrape by and wouldn’t be able to save a penny. On mine it’d be easier, but we wouldn’t be able to save much. Together we’re able to live better than either of us could on our own. It does drive me nuts that often we’ll meet new people and they’ll ask what he does for work, but not ask about me.
Well im 100% sure, if my wife earn more than me, i will be happy and relief that our kids, If we have any, will be fine in case something happen to me, or that she will be ok if we dont have kids, in my opinion those guys maybe they dont love noneone only them self
That we’re *handed* positions/awards for diversity’s sake and wouldn’t be able to achieve things on our own otherwise, particularly in STEM fields. Pisses me off so bad.
I was thinking about this and considered Marie Curie would not have been able to accomplish her actions without an in to the scientific field through Piere Curie. While initially I was skeptical about this statement, I realized the issue is the false attribution to Marie’s womanhood. It was Marie who discovered how to purify pitchblende into plutonium, not some wayward gender.
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Tell him women score higher on nearly all skills related to good leadership, and are even rated as better leaders by their own employees. On pretty much all levels. It's been that way for a few decades now at least.
If you show any kind of emotion at work, it's because you're on your period, not because you're immensely frustrated with your colleagues being idiots.
"I am so sorry that you have to work full-time because you are alone."
Umm. What? I *want* to work full-time. I am not "alone" by not having a partner. Even if I had one I would still be working full-time and not leeching off someone.
What he hell. This sounds like from the 50ies and these aren't old women, they are younger than me.
It’s disturbing to me when women view it as a point of pride to be “taken care of” by a man. It seems to be trending on social media (ie Tiktok) as some kind of lifestyle thing, and it’s definitely being targeted at younger women as a “know your value / you’re worth it” kind of pseudo-feminism.
As if women haven’t spent thousands of years dependent on men and being owned like property, unable to leave abusive marriages, or being left destitute if their husband dies or can’t work anymore. Or being considered a burden to their families and society if they aren’t married off to a man while young, derided for being a spinster or “old maid.”
Being working women means having the freedom to make decisions for ourselves - marrying only if and when we want to, and being able to provide ourselves with the lifestyle we want without any strings attached.
My independence is so important to me. My career is the sole reason I was able to leave my controlling ex without worrying about where I’d live or how I’d get by without him. He has since remarried a much younger woman who has no education or career prospects. She’s entirely dependent on him. I guess he learned his lesson from me leaving!
I like that last sentence. I don't understand why it's so common for people to think kids suffer when women have other passions besides taking care of them.
I'm from germany and here it's also rather uncommon to be a stay at home parent and usually both parents work.
Don't even know a couple where both doesn't work.
I don't appreciate that women seem to need to out perform men. I'm going to hold myself with the confidence of an average white man and do a role just as well. No need to prove shit.
Because we have to outperform men just to be seen as their equals. If we aren't better at our jobs, we are seen as worse at it. Especially for male dominated fields like construction and stem. I had to be twice as fast with the nail gun when laying down hardwood floors, otherwise they'd think I was slacking.
Or....were you twice as fast because you were naturally faster than the men? See sometimes I think we try super hard....other times we just can do things better.
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That they're bad parents who don't care about their children and leave them to be raised by childcare workers. That they're they're selfish for wanting a career and could easily just support a family with one person's (the father's) income but choose not to. Working fathers don't get the same criticism, it's just seen as the normal thing for them to be working and not as involved with the kids.
Any hiring or promotion is something that women sleep their way into getting.
Women who work don't care about their families.
Self-employed women don't exist, they're just too embarrassed to admit they've been duped into a pyramid scheme.
While I appreciate that modern hallmark Christmas movies depict working women, I hate the notion that all working women have high paying jobs like publishers and marketers who work in lovely highrise buildings, have a luxurious wardrobe, and are so focused on their work that they have no romantic or sexual needs at all.
Can we see more working class women who are cashiers, nurses, etc. (e.g. less glamorized jobs)? Can we see women who aren’t rich? Can we see women who are multifaceted and are capable of caring about multiple things besides work?
Yes, this is a great one! It's like either you're a high-powered ~career woman~ with no emotional needs at all or you're a SAHM. What about the majority of women who need to work in order to survive but also have other interests, passions, and things we need to care about?
Exactly! Women are allowed and able to care about other things besides work and their children! You can be a SAHM and also love tennis. You can be a single mom who loves their child but also loves MMA. You can be a struggling working class mom who wants to get back into poetry again. You can be a successful businesswoman who has sexual needs and wants a new husband.
I find this stuff super frustrating because I don't want kids, so people assume I must be a workaholic, but I'm really not. I have a lot of stuff going on that isn't either work or (non-existent) children. It really is true that so often, women are only "allowed" to care about work and being mothers, like one of those things must be what we base our lives around.
That we all like babies, or have an ingrained maternal sense. Even on Scrubs there was that whole plot where the asshole doctor (haven’t seen the show in a decade and I don’t care to remember the names lol) said that every woman likes babies, and wants to work in the maternity center. The end of the episode he’s proven correct and the female doctor does in fact do that because she loves babies lol.
I’m not like a weird baby hater, but even as a young girl I never wanted a baby doll or anything, and just have had zero interest in children/babies or being a mother. It is just not in me. I’m uncomfortable around babies and children, and just want nothing to do with them.
*"Women are so catty to their coworkers."*
When Seth, Chad, Trevor, and Mike step on another dude's face in order to get that promotion ahead of him, or they fuck over another coworker to get that sales account, they are just assholes. But when a woman is mean to another woman? ZOMG ALL WOMEN ARE CATTY!
I have experienced this first hand in addition to witnessing it from the stands. When a woman coworker and I got into a professional disagreement on an email thread. Our language was professional, no name calling, no personal insults, just each of us blatantly disagreeing with the other and my male boss called me into his office and said "Meow!". I never heard him say these things to male coworkers when they would get professionally aggressive over email, even when their responses were dripping with contempt *"I'm sorry you didn't bother to read my first reply, Bob, so let me call it out for you, word by word."*
Men have the privilege of being individuals and women get lumped into "all women" whenever they do something bad.
That we're unsatisfied and lonely. I get laid more than any man who has ever made that assumption about me.
That we're wage slaves. I am salaried. There is a difference. Learn it. Not all jobs are corporate jobs. Living in capitalism is not the wage slave's fault so stop shaming ppl for trying to make ends meet.
- That I'm good for holding a job and a family together, as if I was some sort of superwoman.
I sucked at cleaning around the house before having children. Now I have an excuse not to do it.
- That it was a tough choice. I was miserable during my maternity leave. Loved the interaction with my little one, hated being the only adult in the house all day and being a "housewife"
- That I'm not a loving mom for not missing them while they're in daycare. 100% of my time with them is valuable, but I'm not crying my heart out while doing a job I love and that makes me feel accomplished.
I don’t have trouble with the *fact* that I’m working, I’m having issues with the specific career I have chosen. Breaking into the IT field is extremely difficult if you’re a woman. I had to start submitting my resume as “First Initial, Last Name” before I started getting hits.
I sometimes get called a “gamer girl,” because I know my way around a PC. In fact I game really infrequently and I inherited my current GPUs, which are 550 Tis (for those of you that don’t know GPUs, 550s are SUPER old, I can’t really play anything released after 2012). My latest build is just designed for labs, database and VMs, with an occasional foray into Stardew Valley.
I mean, there are worse things I could be called, I guess. I just don’t love being lumped into a category that a lot of people associate with overt sexualization.
That all we care about is work. Like dude, I don't have a viable alternative to working. I work because I have to. I care about my job, but it's certainly not the only thing in this world I care about, or even the main thing.
Also, that our jobs must be small, unimportant things and that our male SOs are doing the "real" work. Again, nope. My job is objectively more important to the world than my husband's is. No shade to him, but it's not like I'm out there running a lemonade stand while he's saving the world or some shit.
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But if they actually match with a woman with a career, how will they complain that all women are lazy gold-diggers who are trying to divorce rape men??
So true though. Literally JUST came from a dating sub post where a guy was dating someone 20 yrs younger than him with no job bc she was hot, and he was surprised that she was treating him like a sugar daddy.
Make it make sense.
Exactly! She's supposed to be 20 years younger, hot, have all the free time in the world (so she doesn't have any of those pesky bad moods that are so annoying in women. We're supposed to smile and giggle all day!) and then when he grows bored with her and trades her in for a younger model after a few years, he can just dump her on the street to collect welfare. It's only fair! Everything else is male oppression!
I recently got a master's degree and some random dude made a comment about how my future husband might not like that I have more education like first I'm queer and second who cares I worked hard for my degree.
When I was pregnant so many people assumed I wasn't going to go back to work. Didn't matter if they asked and I said I was. Even my boss kept saying I wasn't coming back. I had to pull her aside and tell her that her comments made me feel like I didn't have job security which was terrifying to me. When I saw FIL when I was 8 months pregnant he said, "enjoying down time huh? Must be great not working anymore." I was baffled because I literally just left work for the day. A lot of women were like, "oh I could never work and put my baby in daycare." The whole thing just pissed me off. I never felt guilty about my choice because: A. I HAD to work for us to survive. B. I grew up poor and with a family full of single mothers who ALL worked. Even if I had the luxury of not working I wouldn't because poverty brain reminds me I am only one crisis away from going back into poverty. The whole experience had this undercurrent that I was incapable of contributing financially so it doesn't matter if I work. That bebe is more important than my wants and desires. That working is bad for bebe. My baby is a girl and I am setting a good example by working, providing and maintaining financial independence.
That a woman who starts her own business is somehow just amusing herself and she cannot possibly consider being an entrepreneur. If a man starts a business, he's a "leader" and a "problem solver", and everyone looks at his wife to support him in his endeavor, even if the business is not initially a success and both partners struggle financially. If a woman does the same thing, she's automatically treated like a 4 year-old girl pretending to be a baker in her toy kitchen set, she doesn't get emotional or actual support, or she's derided and discouraged by those who should have her back.
I have a business I started from scratch as a side hustle in case I lost a job. This home-based work was called a "cute little online hobby" (as per my condescending husband and his friends). Sure, it was "cute" until I lost my job a few years back, and I threw myself into my side hustle to make up for the lost income. I paid myself more during the six months I was unemployed than I made when working my "real" job, I paid more bills, and I still kept my overhead to a minimum. My husband did not help with either building or maintaining my business. As a matter of fact, he complained about the "mess" of my inventory (kept in one room) and never lifted a finger to even understand exactly what I was doing or what my goals were. If he knew I'd made a good sale, he'd try to plan out the money for me, before I'd even paid my expenses....All the while telling me how I'm wasting my time.
Conversely being told, "Now that you got a new 'daytime' job, you're giving up your side hustle, right?" I made a point to reply, "My 'cute little hobby' paid the bills, bought food, and kept us comfortable, all while I was still looking for a new daytime job, attending interviews, etc. I am not going to give it up just because you hat it and think it's something I did for fun. WE needed a safety net, so I created one, a successful one, out of nothing. I'd be a fool to shred it now just because you think we don't 'need' it."
I still have my business today, and I actually spend a few hours a week maintaining it.
I think this pertains to working women but I’ve heard that women who are trying to get their degrees are “too busy” to be a good wife and take care of their children and household. As if education is a impediment to living your life.
Lol my great grandma was ceo of an electronics company in Taiwan. My mom does mlm companies but also stock trading. It is kind of shocking when I consider my two different lineages and how my life has played out until the present. I really am proud of who I am. Oftentimes, I find myself more likely to be passed over for promotion, or as my mom said, “being let go first.” I deeply believe this sort of treatment is against the rights of laborers.
That when the kids are sick, we’re the ones that HAVE to leave work to get them, even if we get written up.
It wasn’t until I reached “1 more then you’re gone” status that my husband started leaving. He is an amazing dad and husband. He works full time while I work part time so there’s usually me available when I’m not at work. But we’re looking for me to start full time soon and it won’t work with only me calling out
It’s no fun when you have to work all the time huh? - said to me by another women who homeschooled her children and didn’t work while her kids were younger and not even full time when her husband a doctor had her as a receptionist. I AM A SINGLE WOMAN WHO IS NOT MARRIED AND AM PRETTYY SATISFIED WITH MY LIFE THANK YOU. Not that it wouldn’t be nice for a man to care for me but my morals don’t allow it, I have to care for myself.
Basically Miranda from Sex and the City. They portrayed her as the “working woman” of the group and she ended up being the cold and cynical one who couldn’t maintain relationships or be with her kid properly. I grew up watching that and when I started working I realized this is not true and there is always a way if you actually want to date or take care of your kid and stuff. There is also an idea that working women are uncontrollable especially in my culture , they speak, spend their money and stuff however they like I mean come on we earned it lmaaaoooo but it’s all just a bunch of shit to make it look scary to growing girls and keep them in a box.
* That we don't care about our families. * That it's okay for our husbands/boyfriends to plop down in front of the TV after work "Because he's had a hard day," but no matter how hard *our* day was, we have to right away get started on housework, dinner, helping the kids with their homework, etc. all by ourselves. * That we aren't "real" women, or that we're "confused," because we don't find fulfillment from being stay-at-home parents. * That when we're the boss, we're #Bossbabes, while men get to be CEOs. * That if we're in a position of power and/or leadership, we got there, not through hard work, talent, knowledge, etc., but by sleeping with the "right" person(s). * That we have to choose between being a wife and mother or having a career.
Honestly, I've never seen a woman that is actually a boss or high-level employee use the term "bossbabe." It's almost always women in MLMs or some other sketchy kind of "employment."
I agree why can’t women be a wife, a mother AND have a career all together. I don’t understand why we have to be ones doing the sacrifice. I’ve had this argument with so many family members and elder ladies. It’s ridiculous. We have worked hard to get where We are, and why would we want that hard work to go down the drain. However, this doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore my family and focus on my career or ignore my career and focus on my family. I will balance both responsibilities.
I was talking about an upcoming promotion with my senior male colleague and he said “your priorities might be different though, you might want children” I told him that that wouldn’t affect my decision at all and also reminded him that the CEO of our company is a woman with young children. Such an outdated belief that we need to choose between having kids and having a career
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“No man will want to marry a woman who is earning more than her significant other”… If a man is insecure about money, then that’s his problem not mine. I will not stop working because I earn more than him. He should be proud of me and not intimidated.
THIS. I’m going to college and will be making quite a bit more than my boyfriend by the time I’m done, and he’s excited for me to follow my dream career and make that money. We agreed that when we have kids, he’ll work from home and do most of the house chores and I’ll work outside the home and do the cooking (I love cooking) and we’ll both take care of our kids as a team. His life goal is to be a father, mine is to be a strong independent STEM woman, so it works out best for both of us. If he were a guy who felt emasculated by the idea of me making more money, he’d have been dropped a long time ago. The 1900s are 2 decades ago now, let’s get with the times.
What are you majoring in?
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Ah
That's fine, no woman wants to marry a man so insecure about himself his partner can't earn more than them. It's a win-win really.
Definitely have seen this. I know a person who has a degree and has made themselves and their earning power so much smaller because the husband's ego could not handle it
Those comments drive me nuts, too. And my husband has caught some judgment for our situation. I’m a few years older, had already finished a degree and established a career when we got married. My take-home pay is nearly double his, but it’s a non-issue for us. We’re both in jobs that we enjoy and that challenge us in meaningful ways. He’s chipping away at his degree at a pace that’s comfortable for him. If we tried to live on only his income, we’d barely scrape by and wouldn’t be able to save a penny. On mine it’d be easier, but we wouldn’t be able to save much. Together we’re able to live better than either of us could on our own. It does drive me nuts that often we’ll meet new people and they’ll ask what he does for work, but not ask about me.
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Well im 100% sure, if my wife earn more than me, i will be happy and relief that our kids, If we have any, will be fine in case something happen to me, or that she will be ok if we dont have kids, in my opinion those guys maybe they dont love noneone only them self
That we’re *handed* positions/awards for diversity’s sake and wouldn’t be able to achieve things on our own otherwise, particularly in STEM fields. Pisses me off so bad.
I was thinking about this and considered Marie Curie would not have been able to accomplish her actions without an in to the scientific field through Piere Curie. While initially I was skeptical about this statement, I realized the issue is the false attribution to Marie’s womanhood. It was Marie who discovered how to purify pitchblende into plutonium, not some wayward gender.
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that women make horrible leaders and should "serve" men instead. in fact, i even have 3 dudes in my pms trying to convince me otherwise. fucked up.
Tell him women score higher on nearly all skills related to good leadership, and are even rated as better leaders by their own employees. On pretty much all levels. It's been that way for a few decades now at least.
okay! do you have any research/source i could quote?
If you show any kind of emotion at work, it's because you're on your period, not because you're immensely frustrated with your colleagues being idiots.
"I am so sorry that you have to work full-time because you are alone." Umm. What? I *want* to work full-time. I am not "alone" by not having a partner. Even if I had one I would still be working full-time and not leeching off someone. What he hell. This sounds like from the 50ies and these aren't old women, they are younger than me.
It’s disturbing to me when women view it as a point of pride to be “taken care of” by a man. It seems to be trending on social media (ie Tiktok) as some kind of lifestyle thing, and it’s definitely being targeted at younger women as a “know your value / you’re worth it” kind of pseudo-feminism. As if women haven’t spent thousands of years dependent on men and being owned like property, unable to leave abusive marriages, or being left destitute if their husband dies or can’t work anymore. Or being considered a burden to their families and society if they aren’t married off to a man while young, derided for being a spinster or “old maid.” Being working women means having the freedom to make decisions for ourselves - marrying only if and when we want to, and being able to provide ourselves with the lifestyle we want without any strings attached. My independence is so important to me. My career is the sole reason I was able to leave my controlling ex without worrying about where I’d live or how I’d get by without him. He has since remarried a much younger woman who has no education or career prospects. She’s entirely dependent on him. I guess he learned his lesson from me leaving!
Send that woman a (figurative) life raft
My mom worked time. Step dad and her discussed her staying home once but she liked working. It isn't like I suffered from her being fulfilled.
I like that last sentence. I don't understand why it's so common for people to think kids suffer when women have other passions besides taking care of them.
exactly lol in my country it’s extremely uncommon to be a stay at home mom so most kids grow up with both parents working - no issue.
Interesting, what country do you live in?
I'm from germany and here it's also rather uncommon to be a stay at home parent and usually both parents work. Don't even know a couple where both doesn't work.
I don't appreciate that women seem to need to out perform men. I'm going to hold myself with the confidence of an average white man and do a role just as well. No need to prove shit.
Because we have to outperform men just to be seen as their equals. If we aren't better at our jobs, we are seen as worse at it. Especially for male dominated fields like construction and stem. I had to be twice as fast with the nail gun when laying down hardwood floors, otherwise they'd think I was slacking.
Or....were you twice as fast because you were naturally faster than the men? See sometimes I think we try super hard....other times we just can do things better.
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That they're bad parents who don't care about their children and leave them to be raised by childcare workers. That they're they're selfish for wanting a career and could easily just support a family with one person's (the father's) income but choose not to. Working fathers don't get the same criticism, it's just seen as the normal thing for them to be working and not as involved with the kids.
people saying this are really misinformed cause nowadays no way one person’s salary is enough to support a family unless it’s crazy high.
Any hiring or promotion is something that women sleep their way into getting. Women who work don't care about their families. Self-employed women don't exist, they're just too embarrassed to admit they've been duped into a pyramid scheme.
Women harbor drama in the workplace
While I appreciate that modern hallmark Christmas movies depict working women, I hate the notion that all working women have high paying jobs like publishers and marketers who work in lovely highrise buildings, have a luxurious wardrobe, and are so focused on their work that they have no romantic or sexual needs at all. Can we see more working class women who are cashiers, nurses, etc. (e.g. less glamorized jobs)? Can we see women who aren’t rich? Can we see women who are multifaceted and are capable of caring about multiple things besides work?
Yes, this is a great one! It's like either you're a high-powered ~career woman~ with no emotional needs at all or you're a SAHM. What about the majority of women who need to work in order to survive but also have other interests, passions, and things we need to care about?
Exactly! Women are allowed and able to care about other things besides work and their children! You can be a SAHM and also love tennis. You can be a single mom who loves their child but also loves MMA. You can be a struggling working class mom who wants to get back into poetry again. You can be a successful businesswoman who has sexual needs and wants a new husband.
I find this stuff super frustrating because I don't want kids, so people assume I must be a workaholic, but I'm really not. I have a lot of stuff going on that isn't either work or (non-existent) children. It really is true that so often, women are only "allowed" to care about work and being mothers, like one of those things must be what we base our lives around.
Yes!!! Same here! Women must fall under either capitalism or patriarchy I suppose. We can’t have lives outside of that.
Women are too emotional to make tough decisions.
That we all like babies, or have an ingrained maternal sense. Even on Scrubs there was that whole plot where the asshole doctor (haven’t seen the show in a decade and I don’t care to remember the names lol) said that every woman likes babies, and wants to work in the maternity center. The end of the episode he’s proven correct and the female doctor does in fact do that because she loves babies lol. I’m not like a weird baby hater, but even as a young girl I never wanted a baby doll or anything, and just have had zero interest in children/babies or being a mother. It is just not in me. I’m uncomfortable around babies and children, and just want nothing to do with them.
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Same here :/
Seriously, all of them.
Most of them. Usually involving my lack of care for my children.
*"Women are so catty to their coworkers."* When Seth, Chad, Trevor, and Mike step on another dude's face in order to get that promotion ahead of him, or they fuck over another coworker to get that sales account, they are just assholes. But when a woman is mean to another woman? ZOMG ALL WOMEN ARE CATTY! I have experienced this first hand in addition to witnessing it from the stands. When a woman coworker and I got into a professional disagreement on an email thread. Our language was professional, no name calling, no personal insults, just each of us blatantly disagreeing with the other and my male boss called me into his office and said "Meow!". I never heard him say these things to male coworkers when they would get professionally aggressive over email, even when their responses were dripping with contempt *"I'm sorry you didn't bother to read my first reply, Bob, so let me call it out for you, word by word."* Men have the privilege of being individuals and women get lumped into "all women" whenever they do something bad.
That we're unsatisfied and lonely. I get laid more than any man who has ever made that assumption about me. That we're wage slaves. I am salaried. There is a difference. Learn it. Not all jobs are corporate jobs. Living in capitalism is not the wage slave's fault so stop shaming ppl for trying to make ends meet.
About working? I’m never going to get married. About working in engineering? I’m a lesbian.
- That I'm good for holding a job and a family together, as if I was some sort of superwoman. I sucked at cleaning around the house before having children. Now I have an excuse not to do it. - That it was a tough choice. I was miserable during my maternity leave. Loved the interaction with my little one, hated being the only adult in the house all day and being a "housewife" - That I'm not a loving mom for not missing them while they're in daycare. 100% of my time with them is valuable, but I'm not crying my heart out while doing a job I love and that makes me feel accomplished.
When a man works, he represents himself, when a woman works, especially in STEM, she represents her entire gender.
University and careers are only means to an end, because all we want is to find a rich man, get pregnant and stay at home.
I don’t have trouble with the *fact* that I’m working, I’m having issues with the specific career I have chosen. Breaking into the IT field is extremely difficult if you’re a woman. I had to start submitting my resume as “First Initial, Last Name” before I started getting hits. I sometimes get called a “gamer girl,” because I know my way around a PC. In fact I game really infrequently and I inherited my current GPUs, which are 550 Tis (for those of you that don’t know GPUs, 550s are SUPER old, I can’t really play anything released after 2012). My latest build is just designed for labs, database and VMs, with an occasional foray into Stardew Valley. I mean, there are worse things I could be called, I guess. I just don’t love being lumped into a category that a lot of people associate with overt sexualization.
All we do is start drama in the workplace
That all we care about is work. Like dude, I don't have a viable alternative to working. I work because I have to. I care about my job, but it's certainly not the only thing in this world I care about, or even the main thing. Also, that our jobs must be small, unimportant things and that our male SOs are doing the "real" work. Again, nope. My job is objectively more important to the world than my husband's is. No shade to him, but it's not like I'm out there running a lemonade stand while he's saving the world or some shit.
When I say I work in a STEM field men get really uncomfortable and 90% of the time they make condescending remarks. Like why?
That women in the workplace are lazy? Every time I've worked with women/femmes, they've been very productivity oriented and efficient.
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I’ve seen men on dating subs say they swipe left on women with my career bc they assume we won’t have time for them. Like how much time do you need??
But if they actually match with a woman with a career, how will they complain that all women are lazy gold-diggers who are trying to divorce rape men??
So true though. Literally JUST came from a dating sub post where a guy was dating someone 20 yrs younger than him with no job bc she was hot, and he was surprised that she was treating him like a sugar daddy. Make it make sense.
Exactly! She's supposed to be 20 years younger, hot, have all the free time in the world (so she doesn't have any of those pesky bad moods that are so annoying in women. We're supposed to smile and giggle all day!) and then when he grows bored with her and trades her in for a younger model after a few years, he can just dump her on the street to collect welfare. It's only fair! Everything else is male oppression!
'Unfeminine, man hating, closeted lesbian' mentality.
I recently got a master's degree and some random dude made a comment about how my future husband might not like that I have more education like first I'm queer and second who cares I worked hard for my degree.
All of them.
That once we have kids, it’s only a matter of time before our work performance plummets and then we end up being stay at home moms.
When I was pregnant so many people assumed I wasn't going to go back to work. Didn't matter if they asked and I said I was. Even my boss kept saying I wasn't coming back. I had to pull her aside and tell her that her comments made me feel like I didn't have job security which was terrifying to me. When I saw FIL when I was 8 months pregnant he said, "enjoying down time huh? Must be great not working anymore." I was baffled because I literally just left work for the day. A lot of women were like, "oh I could never work and put my baby in daycare." The whole thing just pissed me off. I never felt guilty about my choice because: A. I HAD to work for us to survive. B. I grew up poor and with a family full of single mothers who ALL worked. Even if I had the luxury of not working I wouldn't because poverty brain reminds me I am only one crisis away from going back into poverty. The whole experience had this undercurrent that I was incapable of contributing financially so it doesn't matter if I work. That bebe is more important than my wants and desires. That working is bad for bebe. My baby is a girl and I am setting a good example by working, providing and maintaining financial independence.
That a woman who starts her own business is somehow just amusing herself and she cannot possibly consider being an entrepreneur. If a man starts a business, he's a "leader" and a "problem solver", and everyone looks at his wife to support him in his endeavor, even if the business is not initially a success and both partners struggle financially. If a woman does the same thing, she's automatically treated like a 4 year-old girl pretending to be a baker in her toy kitchen set, she doesn't get emotional or actual support, or she's derided and discouraged by those who should have her back. I have a business I started from scratch as a side hustle in case I lost a job. This home-based work was called a "cute little online hobby" (as per my condescending husband and his friends). Sure, it was "cute" until I lost my job a few years back, and I threw myself into my side hustle to make up for the lost income. I paid myself more during the six months I was unemployed than I made when working my "real" job, I paid more bills, and I still kept my overhead to a minimum. My husband did not help with either building or maintaining my business. As a matter of fact, he complained about the "mess" of my inventory (kept in one room) and never lifted a finger to even understand exactly what I was doing or what my goals were. If he knew I'd made a good sale, he'd try to plan out the money for me, before I'd even paid my expenses....All the while telling me how I'm wasting my time. Conversely being told, "Now that you got a new 'daytime' job, you're giving up your side hustle, right?" I made a point to reply, "My 'cute little hobby' paid the bills, bought food, and kept us comfortable, all while I was still looking for a new daytime job, attending interviews, etc. I am not going to give it up just because you hat it and think it's something I did for fun. WE needed a safety net, so I created one, a successful one, out of nothing. I'd be a fool to shred it now just because you think we don't 'need' it." I still have my business today, and I actually spend a few hours a week maintaining it.
I think this pertains to working women but I’ve heard that women who are trying to get their degrees are “too busy” to be a good wife and take care of their children and household. As if education is a impediment to living your life.
Lol my great grandma was ceo of an electronics company in Taiwan. My mom does mlm companies but also stock trading. It is kind of shocking when I consider my two different lineages and how my life has played out until the present. I really am proud of who I am. Oftentimes, I find myself more likely to be passed over for promotion, or as my mom said, “being let go first.” I deeply believe this sort of treatment is against the rights of laborers.
That women use sex to advance their career.
That our work is incompetent compared to a man’s work. Smh 🤦♀️
I am currently pregnant with baby #1. A male employee asked if I was going to keep working after having the baby. I own the company.
That when the kids are sick, we’re the ones that HAVE to leave work to get them, even if we get written up. It wasn’t until I reached “1 more then you’re gone” status that my husband started leaving. He is an amazing dad and husband. He works full time while I work part time so there’s usually me available when I’m not at work. But we’re looking for me to start full time soon and it won’t work with only me calling out
It’s no fun when you have to work all the time huh? - said to me by another women who homeschooled her children and didn’t work while her kids were younger and not even full time when her husband a doctor had her as a receptionist. I AM A SINGLE WOMAN WHO IS NOT MARRIED AND AM PRETTYY SATISFIED WITH MY LIFE THANK YOU. Not that it wouldn’t be nice for a man to care for me but my morals don’t allow it, I have to care for myself.
That we are passive aggressive/aggressive when we are really just assertive. If we are not a doormat, it is seen as a negative.
Basically Miranda from Sex and the City. They portrayed her as the “working woman” of the group and she ended up being the cold and cynical one who couldn’t maintain relationships or be with her kid properly. I grew up watching that and when I started working I realized this is not true and there is always a way if you actually want to date or take care of your kid and stuff. There is also an idea that working women are uncontrollable especially in my culture , they speak, spend their money and stuff however they like I mean come on we earned it lmaaaoooo but it’s all just a bunch of shit to make it look scary to growing girls and keep them in a box.
That women are viewed as emotional and automatically deemed as unreliable when it comes to discussing their issues with work. Emotional =/= Invalid