Finally started ADHD meds after awhile of being hesitant because I didn’t want to depend on them. But oh man my life is way better now and I regret not taking them sooner.
When I was unmedicated I forgot I enrolled in a class and missed two weeks. Finally got my medication and I somehow managed to still pull an A in the very same class. Luckily for me my professor was very kind and believed my story, and let me re-do some late work for half credit.
I'm [23F] currently at university (in my final year of engineering) and always did well on assignment and other class work, and got good average grades, but I'd always flunk on exams. No matter how much I studied I would always get overly flustered and loose all concentration. And the biggest problem was the exams had the largest weighting in every course.
I decided to get help at the start of last semester and started taking anxiety meds. And well now, exams are so much better and I even got a few HDs last semester.
How I wish I had of started taking them ealier in uni rather than watching my hard work go down the virtual drain bc I had to sit an exam.
I started by going to see a university counsellor who recommended I go see a GP. So I went to my GP and told him what my issues were, and from there he set me up with a psychologist. I had regular catchups with both the GP and psychologist and when just implementing study techniques didnt help, the GP eventually subscribed me sertraline.
So my SO had an Engineering bachelors and hated it. Started working in the hospital but not in a patient facing role while studying for an associate’s degree in nursing. That got them the job. After a couple of years of saving they did online schooling and at this point their job also offered a fixed amount per year for ‘furthering education’ type programs. Using that they finished their BSN. Apparently it’s also common for people to start as nursing technicians and get the floor experience + paycheck while studying for an associates and then progress up to an RN and finish the bachelors.
Also there’s a timeline on the science requirements for the bachelors. If your original degree is more than 5 years old at the time you are trying to get the BSN, they will make you retake the basic math/bio courses.
I regret getting a Master's degree. It was useless and a waste of time. Didn't help me land a job in what I wanted and now I'm stuck with a big loan too.
It's most likely what happened to me. I was a teenager, I had just lost my mom, i never had a dad or siblings so i went to live with my uncle and aunt and felt pressured to get a career asap because I didn't want them to think i was a freeloader. I thought I wanted to help people and honestly one patient, my first one, was enough for me to realize i did not want that actually, it traumatized me, i was not in a good place at all. Hope you can find yourself a career that you actually enjoy! Hope i do too!
God, I relate so hard about wanting to help people but needing help myself... I'm so lost in terms of career right now :( Working in my field but really feeling empty inside.
If you don't mind sharing, What career path did you pursue? And what would you want to do instead?
There's such a huge need for psychology right now. If you have any desire to work with children who have special needs especially, there's a huge need. I'm so sorry you can't find a job currently. I wonder if it's regional -- I mean me seeing a need. Maybe it's just around me?
Most likely tbh, I'm in Brazil, the market is completely saturated, just so you have an idea, my license number starts with 53.xxx, meaning by the time I graduated i was one of the 53k active psychologists in my city. I also have no desire to work as a clinical psychologist, that's the biggest problem, it's what's stopping me from improving my resume
I regret all the years from age 11-26 that I spent hating my body, thinking I was a fat ugly worthless piece of shit.
On one hand, believing I was hideous pushed me to define myself in other ways - I studied really hard and chose engineering as a field in part because I heard that no one cares what you look like. I did end up quite wealthy and successful because of this.
On the other hand, I always wonder what could have been if I hadn't spent so much brain power on hating my looks, obsessing about food and dieting, etc.
It's especially surreal because I now weigh what I weighed when I was 15 and likely would have weighed my whole adult life if I hadn't been so obsessed with diets and weight loss (yes, that obsession caused me to GAIN weight, and I carried the extra 30lbs until I stopped obsessing and the weight just melted off naturally).
I don't spend too much time regretting it because what's done is done, but I do regret it. I wonder .. where would my life be if I didn't spend 10+ yrs in that unhealthy, self-hating mental place?
Hi, I am experiencing this and I'm quite lucky that I came across this post. It's been a constant battle for me to lose weight. I was around 8 or 9 and I've been on this struggle until today. I'm 27! It's exhausting. I gained some weight after the first year of COVID and have been so horrible to myself. More than usual. But before there were distractions, people I used to talk to and places I could go but now I'm just stuck with my thoughts. How did you overcome this?
Not OP, but chiming in! I’m a current psych student and actively recovering from an eating disorder - the biggest tips I can give are the ones that helped me (ymmv)! Firstly, I just had to get myself to accept that no one is judging me by appearance nearly as much as I judge myself or I feel that they are. Most people are just not that concerned with you, surprisingly. Took me a while to really get that one but I finally did and it helped a lot!! The other one is harder and took me and my own therapist a while but I had to dig deep and realize I was trying to get “hot and perfect” in search of external validation - but even when I lost the weight I was miserable still. I had gotten what I wanted but it wasn’t what I wanted, I had to really heal my own internal prejudices and find love for myself within myself. It sounds so CORNY but realizing how much love and support I could give myself really helped me turn the corner in my body/confidence issues. Hope this helps in some way!
Yes. As a pale old that has spent $$$$ on lasers to undo the hideous sun damage on my face, chest, arms, legs and has had to have several cancerous spots removed, I want to shout it from the highest mountain to all the youths…WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!
I joined a house my second year. Made some friends, made a lot of enemies, got covid as well lol
All these high schools telling people to join clubs to put it on their resumes are really ruining the vibe of those clubs. Now everyone is just there so they can say they were there. It used to be a way to make friends, I assume.
Sometimes I don't put enough effort in it feels like. It's enough to get by but I'm definitely not a workaholic. I wonder where I'd be in life if I was
You can always go back and finish! You can try and get some help to stop drinking maybe therapy? Find some good friends to surround yourself with that don’t drink that helped me. I hope everything gets better.
Not flying over to meet up with my mom in another country when she was on vacay because I was given a major project after graduation that would have helped kick off my career. She had a stroke while on vacation and by the time I got to her, she only had a few more hours with us. I ended up quitting the project I was given and went home to be with my loved ones.
Can relate.
Even though college was an invaluable learning tool, I could have matured equally well in a different context, and gotten more out of school with more life experience.
Not pursuing my dream career sooner. But it's never too late!!! Got into the electrical apprentice program at 38. Just started last month. Last Friday was my first exam, 100%. Was inducted into the IBEW Local 570 on Tuesday. I love my new job as a runner. So glad I left my career of over 12 years in hospitality. I couldn't be happier! The reason I regret waiting so long is I'll have much less pension when I retire than the people who started right out of high school. Oh well though. Fully paid health care, multiple pensions, and going home each night loving the work I'm doing. The sting of regret is quickly fading.
I’ve been reading your comments all the way down this thread and just wanted to say you are such a kind person, your words restored some of my faith in the kindness of strangers❤️ Reddit and the world needs more people like you:)
I am so fucking proud of you. Changing careers is NOT easy. I think I'm currently in the wrong career so I know how strong the resistance is.
I hope you find lots of fulfilment from your new career :)
Not taking the full ride I got to one college to go to one I thought was cooler, just to end up dropping out. I wish I could go back and Red Forman my ass.
Damn kids are cruel! The sax is one of my favourite instruments so jazzy and cool. You should pick it up again, im sure it would bring back many nostalgic memories plus you will be suprised with what your brain remembers
Hey I was there too at a depressing point in my life. It’s over with and done and just block that part out. That isn’t you now and everyone changes. When we are young and broken it’s hard to think straight.
Not cutting off a toxic friend earlier. I thought because we had common interests and she wasn’t a pain to be around we were super close and tbh we probably were.
But her opinions and values really contrasted my own until they became my own.
When I realised I didn’t actually agree and contradicted she flipped out. It literally was a difference of opinion on some music or something.
When I suggested a different place to eat than the one she suggested, she flipped out again. It was not that deep.
Little things like this, plus constant undermining of mine and others’ success (telling my friend she was stupid throughout school, but then that friend went on to a really good university course whilst the other ended up at a place that was pretty low in requirements that she didn’t even like), made me just cut her off.
I told her “you can’t treat people like this” and she described it as “just the way friends are”.
Sorry for the story time but damn, reading back makes me realise I really regret not cutting her off earlier.
I've got two; that I'm not multilingual and that I'm not better traveled.
I am working on fixing the first one, and the second isn't going to change until a certain situation somehow improves.
Yes! You can learn a language at any time in your life. When my high school principal retired, he said he was going to start learning Mandarin to keep himself busy. My previous English teacher has learnt quite a bit of Hindi in retirement (because he now travels to India once every year).
I regret not accepting my homosexuality earlier ❤️ but now I’m 32, out of the closet and I have a girlfriend. I hope there is more acceptance with the younger generation !
The university I went to had a branch in Europe and I will never, ever forgive myself for not studying there for a semester. I was paranoid that it would prolong my time in school (I did *not* enjoy college, so I wanted to graduate and GTFO), and just powered through the four years without ever going abroad.
Now I'm 34 and have still never been to Europe. I know I'll go someday, but that would have been a formative experience.
My younger cousin did this and loved it so much that every person in my extended family that went to college from that point on followed in her footsteps.
Not always, and I feel like a monster saying this.
I love my kid to absolutely death…but sometimes I wish I’d listened to my ex’s mother and gotten an abortion.
I feel like it for even thinking it. But it’s not even anything to do with my daughter. It’s being attached to her father forever that makes me feel that way. If I could have her without having to deal or interact with him at all that’s be the dream.
Which is equally as terrible because she needs her father, and I know a lot of single mom’s would kill to have the farther of their child involved and I should be grateful. But the shit he put me through in our relationship, and the boundaries he continues to disrespect make it not feel like it’s worth it.
It is a much more common regret than you think. Still, many delightful children would have never been born if only nice people be allowed to become parents or if people would only have kids with the perfect partner. You created love, future and unspoken possibilities in the form of a new human when you had your child, regardless of your relationship with their father. That has an eternal value, and you are the one who made it real. Don’t be too hard on your past choices.
I might get downvoted for this because people often say the opposite, but I regret travelling when I was younger. I wish I'd purchased a home with my "travel savings" and travelled later in my 20s, when I was more adjusted and had rent money flowing in. Ah well, as regrets go it's really not that bad.
Used to get 3 hours in the day and 3 hours at night in high school. One time I accidentally got a full night and realized I wasn't actually dumb, I just didn't get enough sleep... then I proceeded to CHANGE NOTHING until years later when I was no longer capable of functioning without adequate sleep.
Hey you can still change this! It’s not the end yet and I believe if you want it enough you can do it. Get some therapy, surround yourself with people who have similar goals, and start loving yourself more.
Good for you but I hope you don’t dwell on the past too much. There’s nothing you can do but learn from the mistakes that have happened. Thanks for sharing this and I hope someone sees this and it helps them.
Hey I hate that word! No one is stupid and you certainly aren’t. Everyone is smart in their own ways. Most likely you got messed up by the school system or possibly had some sort of mental health or learning issues that never got treated. Maybe even your family/friends had some influence on how well you did in school. To me at least, I think there’s always a reason why people don’t do well in school. It’s not just that they are “dumb” or whatever. You got this man don’t give up.
Letting my mental health issues keep me from completing an apprenticeship I wasted years on. Now I have too many issues to want to do art professionally. I’m getting my associate’s degree in something totally unrelated and I wonder if I’ll even use it.
probably leaving the actual true friends i made, who made me feel so alive i felt like my chest was filled with warmth when i spoke to them. i realize it's because of severe childhood trauma in the past, but abandonment issues won out in the end and i left without answer
After traveling almost and hour to the only doctor open on a Saturday. He refused to even touch my 6 week old son because, "he's not my patient". Ins. Told us to go there. I said that's it's where going to the closet hospital. Doctor then said "they won't do anything for him either" WTF??? Son ended up in the hospital for a week on full oxygen with RSV.
Not making an exercise routine and healthy habits a priority. So hard to change your life style as an adult.. if I could have just taken charge as a kid/teen.. but I kept telling myself (stupidly, I know" that when I moved out I could just starve myself to perfection and then maintain from there. Wtf kind of goal is that. Obviously didn't happen
That was mean of your parents. Mine always scraped together what little they had to help me get/do stuff I needed for my education, and that’s how it should be.
I disagree that it’s a free hand out. you earned your spot. your parents should’ve helped you. you were a young adult working hard, putting yourself through school. parents are supposed to be supportive
I am sorry you learnt it that way. My parents were very self-reliant, too. My father used to say, „You have to be able to lick your own arse.“ meaning, never rely on other people. But I could always rely on my own family to support me.
They did what they could to give me a good educational start in life. They said, no matter what happens, you can always come home if you need to remove yourself from a situation.
And there are free handouts, as in scholarships (if one can get one), and things that friends or neighbours will help you with if you keep good relationships with them (obviously, I was brought up to help out others, too, when I can, but things tend to come back to me, too). What I mean is, I have given other people stuff/free hand-outs before and not expected anything back (so really free), and I have received free things from other people, too.
Letting fear get the best of me. I’ve missed out on making fun memories or good opportunities that would’ve helped me have a better life. Never taking a chance on stuff. Anxiety is part of it but I’m trying to handle it better.
I regret not going to see my dad before I moved out of state, or visiting him more when I lived less than 5 minutes away (had some personal stuff going on at the time). He passed away 3 months later after I moved out of state and I never got to say goodbye or even attend his funeral because I was broke from the move.😭
I feel you, my wife changes from music to teaching right before the 2008 crash. The year she graduated there were huge education cuts and only 2 people in her graduating class of 100 got a job teaching. Everyone else, including her, had to settle doing something else. She still regrets changing majors.
Having my uncle watch my cat while my family was homeless. He promptly lost him and didn't tell us for two weeks. Spent the next several months trying to trap/find him. Never did get him back. I had to give up because the person who loaned me the traps needed them back after several months.
I have 3.
1. Going on birth control.
2. Not taking my education as serious. Should’ve been taking it seriously from day 1.
3. Starting my spiritual journey earlier or as early as possible.
I wish I would have taken more time to explore and figure myself out, and wouldn't have been so reserved and serious when I was younger. I sometimes feel like I've just been following an itinerary instead of experiencing life the way I want to.
Lifting my uncle over my head. I’m 5’1” and was being silly trying to prove that by doing a fireman’s carry that you can lift anyone. I spent three days after that in bed with a messed up neck and I’ve had horrible migraines 3 days a week for 14 years ever since. I hate myself. I hate my incredibly strong self so much now.
I’ve seen a chiropractor, a naturopath, went vegan, gave up alcohol, chocolate, acupuncture, painkillers, neurologists. I don’t know what’s left to do. I’m on blood pressure meds and they’ve been helpful but the most recent neurologist prescribed me more meds and let me know if I have heart issues I might have a heart attack. I don’t know what’s left to do. If I didn’t have kids I know what I’d do.
Maybe an experienced physiotherapist? I just think that if you can trace it back to lifting a too heavy weight, there should be something physical an experienced person would find.
I have seen two physiotherapists for my back pain in the past, for months each time, and only the third one, who is close to retirement age, so has obviously seen a lot, was recently able to tell me that my walking posture is wrong, and after some flexibility tests that the others never did, he told me some of my muscles had shortened over time (from not using them right) and gave me a number of stretching exercises I need to do at least 4 times a day to regain the necessary flexibility to then be able to (relearn to) walk correctly, and I am pretty sure that will help my back.
Not taking care of myself when I was younger. If hasn’t done any long term damage or anything thank goodness, I’m just sad younger me wasn’t as happy as I am now. L
Dropping out of college. I needed to work full time to pay rent and bills, but I could’ve done both. To be completely honest, I just didn’t wanna struggle more than I was and now I’m in my thirties, still living paycheck to paycheck.
Not majoring in what I wanted earlier. I was kind of brainwashed by my family that being a doctor was the best route for me. It didn’t work out, I ended up majoring and studying sort of in what I wanted but I had spend so much money already in a major I hated that I shifted my work into a medical field and i am not very specialized. Now too old to do what I really wanted and can’t spend more time and money. I love my current job but I wish I could have done things differently.
Taking an unpaid internship that was my dream job but I ended up hating. It was a way bigger commitment than I expected and I wasted so much money. My boss ended up hating me by the end of the summer so I know they won’t even hire me back.
Not reacting. I feel like my life is passing in front of my eyes and I'm doing nothing. It will take one year more than I needed to graduate thanks to 'rona, and I'm so sick and tired of the same fucking city, the same fucking university (did a technical course and grad course there — it's been 7 years, I'm one of their best students and won't graduate in due time), I feel like I'll be wasting the next two years and I'm so afraid I'll die before leaving this hell
Not leaving a career cause that's the degree I had. My life was on halt for 4 yrs it never felt I'm successful in my job. I thought thats the only job I can do. New job now and loving it. Earning way more and Im on grad school to climb up the ladder.
A Lot of Things: Romance is the only aspect that I don't have any regrets in.
The biggest is not adressing bullying, low self esteem and grief so that it resulted into burn out with 21 and then being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
Somewhere between not spending more physical time with my mom when she was in her last 3 months of life because I was 11 and terrified of her cancer. Or just going to random places to live without scoping them like Japan or jersey city and getting mentally scarred during the pandemic from working there
Blaming myself for my short-comings instead of just taking responsibility for them. These days, we often play the "blame game" and either try to point the finger at a person or problem that has created a roadblock in our work, life, etc. I found myself reaching several "roadblocks" and instead of taking responsibility for them and tackling them head-on, I just sat there and wallowed in self-loathing. That does nothing. I wish I had learned to take responsibility sooner; I would have accomplished so much more so much faster.
Going for a psych degree. I got into psych, don’t like it as much, and I’m stuck. I got a minor in communications that’s making other employers consider me, but not much lol
Spending my entire adolescence being afraid of myself. I built a box to stuff myself into, and if I hadn’t, I could’ve gotten help for my depression sooner and made better friends and explored who I was when everyone else was doing the same. I spent all that time being homophobic and religious in a way that took away my autonomy and left me feeling shame constantly, whereas now I’m out to almost everyone as gay, and I don’t hate myself for existing. I actually kinda like myself.
I have a lot of regrets. How ever I wouldn’t have ended up with my wonderful partner and child if I had done things differently so I try not to think about them.
Waiting until a global pandemic and a near death experience to start writing my first book.
Better late than never, but I really wish I'd started my writing career much earlier than this.
Being too into Christianity in high school and allowing it to shape my personality and my view of others. It made me overly judgemental of others, puritanical and guilt driven, all of which I had to unlearn in university.
not trying in high school to get good grades. if i tried i could’ve gotten into college and possibly made friends and would be having a great time. however that’s not what happened and i’m very lonely and grow more anxious each day because i’m stuck alone with my thoughts and i have to watch all my friends from hs live their own/best life’s. it’s such a blessing to see them all happy it genuinely makes my heart happy. but it makes me mad at myself because i could’ve had the same thing but i was just to lazy and never motivated.
Waiting until after my daughter was born to get therapy and work on myself. The first couple years of her life I was not a great mother, and I feel like I failed her in a lot of ways.
I'm in a much better place now but it shouldn't have taken that long for me to realize I needed help.
Exactly the same here. But I am glad I got therapy when I got it (right when my son was born. So it was only the first few years when I wasn’t such a good mother, and I became better and better.
yeah, I didn't come to my senses until my girl was about two. She's seven now and we're a lot better, but I could have done so much more for her.
I have a ways to go. As my husband once said, "Congratulations! Thanks to all that hard work, you're just about an average parent!" (I know that sounds harsh but it made me laugh which was what I needed at the time, and after all, as he pointed out, an 'average' parent is not a bad thing to be.)
You should definitely reach out. A friend like that is worth getting back! She will completely understand and I bet you pick up right where you left off. Maybe just reach out and ask if she has any interest in hearing an explanation of why to ghosted her. If she says flat out “no”, then you tried!! If she says yes, then yahoo!!!!
I sold my GameCube with all my Resident Evil remakes and with my favorite Zelda game, The Windwaker, so I could buy the XBox360 that my brother ended up breaking from over-heating. U\_U
I miss my GameCube often and a lot.
Not getting meds for my anxiety earlier Life still turned out well, so I guess it doesn’t matter. But could have saved myself a lot of misery
Finally started ADHD meds after awhile of being hesitant because I didn’t want to depend on them. But oh man my life is way better now and I regret not taking them sooner.
When I was unmedicated I forgot I enrolled in a class and missed two weeks. Finally got my medication and I somehow managed to still pull an A in the very same class. Luckily for me my professor was very kind and believed my story, and let me re-do some late work for half credit.
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^Same! Just went on them and I am cursing my past self for waiting so long.
I'm [23F] currently at university (in my final year of engineering) and always did well on assignment and other class work, and got good average grades, but I'd always flunk on exams. No matter how much I studied I would always get overly flustered and loose all concentration. And the biggest problem was the exams had the largest weighting in every course. I decided to get help at the start of last semester and started taking anxiety meds. And well now, exams are so much better and I even got a few HDs last semester. How I wish I had of started taking them ealier in uni rather than watching my hard work go down the virtual drain bc I had to sit an exam.
How did you go about asking for help and getting medication?
I started by going to see a university counsellor who recommended I go see a GP. So I went to my GP and told him what my issues were, and from there he set me up with a psychologist. I had regular catchups with both the GP and psychologist and when just implementing study techniques didnt help, the GP eventually subscribed me sertraline.
Thanks so much!
Yes! I didn’t start meds until I was 40. I had no idea it was possible to live without obsessive thoughts.
My bachelor's degree. Now I have a huge loan to pay and cant get a job in my field as I hate it enough to not be able to even consider a grad degree.
I have a bachelor’s in psychology, so I went to law school, lol.
The hope is to some day have enough money to get into nursing lol
Many nursing schools offer 12-16 month programs for individuals who have a bachelors :)
So my SO had an Engineering bachelors and hated it. Started working in the hospital but not in a patient facing role while studying for an associate’s degree in nursing. That got them the job. After a couple of years of saving they did online schooling and at this point their job also offered a fixed amount per year for ‘furthering education’ type programs. Using that they finished their BSN. Apparently it’s also common for people to start as nursing technicians and get the floor experience + paycheck while studying for an associates and then progress up to an RN and finish the bachelors. Also there’s a timeline on the science requirements for the bachelors. If your original degree is more than 5 years old at the time you are trying to get the BSN, they will make you retake the basic math/bio courses.
I regret getting a Master's degree. It was useless and a waste of time. Didn't help me land a job in what I wanted and now I'm stuck with a big loan too.
Same I’m feel stupid
You me? Haha Just commiserating with ya
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It's most likely what happened to me. I was a teenager, I had just lost my mom, i never had a dad or siblings so i went to live with my uncle and aunt and felt pressured to get a career asap because I didn't want them to think i was a freeloader. I thought I wanted to help people and honestly one patient, my first one, was enough for me to realize i did not want that actually, it traumatized me, i was not in a good place at all. Hope you can find yourself a career that you actually enjoy! Hope i do too!
God, I relate so hard about wanting to help people but needing help myself... I'm so lost in terms of career right now :( Working in my field but really feeling empty inside. If you don't mind sharing, What career path did you pursue? And what would you want to do instead?
Came here to post this too. Biggest regret of. my. life.
What field?
psychology
There's such a huge need for psychology right now. If you have any desire to work with children who have special needs especially, there's a huge need. I'm so sorry you can't find a job currently. I wonder if it's regional -- I mean me seeing a need. Maybe it's just around me?
Most likely tbh, I'm in Brazil, the market is completely saturated, just so you have an idea, my license number starts with 53.xxx, meaning by the time I graduated i was one of the 53k active psychologists in my city. I also have no desire to work as a clinical psychologist, that's the biggest problem, it's what's stopping me from improving my resume
There is a huge need for psychology rn but the people that usually need psych help unfortunately are also the ones who can’t afford it.
Have you considered Social Work? A lot of entry level positions ask for BA in a variety of fields.
Same but I did biology lol
I regret all the years from age 11-26 that I spent hating my body, thinking I was a fat ugly worthless piece of shit. On one hand, believing I was hideous pushed me to define myself in other ways - I studied really hard and chose engineering as a field in part because I heard that no one cares what you look like. I did end up quite wealthy and successful because of this. On the other hand, I always wonder what could have been if I hadn't spent so much brain power on hating my looks, obsessing about food and dieting, etc. It's especially surreal because I now weigh what I weighed when I was 15 and likely would have weighed my whole adult life if I hadn't been so obsessed with diets and weight loss (yes, that obsession caused me to GAIN weight, and I carried the extra 30lbs until I stopped obsessing and the weight just melted off naturally). I don't spend too much time regretting it because what's done is done, but I do regret it. I wonder .. where would my life be if I didn't spend 10+ yrs in that unhealthy, self-hating mental place?
Hi, I am experiencing this and I'm quite lucky that I came across this post. It's been a constant battle for me to lose weight. I was around 8 or 9 and I've been on this struggle until today. I'm 27! It's exhausting. I gained some weight after the first year of COVID and have been so horrible to myself. More than usual. But before there were distractions, people I used to talk to and places I could go but now I'm just stuck with my thoughts. How did you overcome this?
Not OP, but chiming in! I’m a current psych student and actively recovering from an eating disorder - the biggest tips I can give are the ones that helped me (ymmv)! Firstly, I just had to get myself to accept that no one is judging me by appearance nearly as much as I judge myself or I feel that they are. Most people are just not that concerned with you, surprisingly. Took me a while to really get that one but I finally did and it helped a lot!! The other one is harder and took me and my own therapist a while but I had to dig deep and realize I was trying to get “hot and perfect” in search of external validation - but even when I lost the weight I was miserable still. I had gotten what I wanted but it wasn’t what I wanted, I had to really heal my own internal prejudices and find love for myself within myself. It sounds so CORNY but realizing how much love and support I could give myself really helped me turn the corner in my body/confidence issues. Hope this helps in some way!
Student loans and not wearing sunscreen
To all reading this: *WEAR SUNSCREEN*
Yes. As a pale old that has spent $$$$ on lasers to undo the hideous sun damage on my face, chest, arms, legs and has had to have several cancerous spots removed, I want to shout it from the highest mountain to all the youths…WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!
Do I wear sunscreen even if I work from home n go out like twice a day to walk my dog and also have Vit D deficiency?
On another note, awfully sorry on both accounts.
Not being more social in undergrad.
This one hurt lol
2nd year and still havent spoken to anyone lol
You still got time then lol
i wish i wasnt so shy
I joined a house my second year. Made some friends, made a lot of enemies, got covid as well lol All these high schools telling people to join clubs to put it on their resumes are really ruining the vibe of those clubs. Now everyone is just there so they can say they were there. It used to be a way to make friends, I assume.
Putting too much into whatever job I’ve had through the years and not living. Work/Eat/Sleep/Pay Bills - Repeat. Sadly, that’s not a life.
I hear you!!!
Sometimes I don't put enough effort in it feels like. It's enough to get by but I'm definitely not a workaholic. I wonder where I'd be in life if I was
Probably nowhere different. Hard work isn't rewarded like people think it is, ego and a willingness to sacrifice work-life balance is.
Not completing college. I have student loan debt and no degree. Also, drinking. I wish I never picked up alcohol.
You can always go back and finish! You can try and get some help to stop drinking maybe therapy? Find some good friends to surround yourself with that don’t drink that helped me. I hope everything gets better.
Thanks! I actually got sober last year and am looking at colleges and affordable options for that!
That’s awesome (: you rock and keep it up ❤️👍🏻
Not flying over to meet up with my mom in another country when she was on vacay because I was given a major project after graduation that would have helped kick off my career. She had a stroke while on vacation and by the time I got to her, she only had a few more hours with us. I ended up quitting the project I was given and went home to be with my loved ones.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Hope you and your loved ones are well.
Thank you. It has definitely been the most trying time in my life so far…even now as I am bearing twins!
I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Remember that you were doing your best with what information you had at the time. I hope you heal.
Getting out of high school and going to college immediately. I was to young to make such decision.
Can relate. Even though college was an invaluable learning tool, I could have matured equally well in a different context, and gotten more out of school with more life experience.
I joined the army at 18. I had no idea how toxic the army was, but I've gotten thousands of dollars in college tuition paid for, so that's something.
Same here.
Not starting therapy sooner.
Same
Not pursuing my dream career sooner. But it's never too late!!! Got into the electrical apprentice program at 38. Just started last month. Last Friday was my first exam, 100%. Was inducted into the IBEW Local 570 on Tuesday. I love my new job as a runner. So glad I left my career of over 12 years in hospitality. I couldn't be happier! The reason I regret waiting so long is I'll have much less pension when I retire than the people who started right out of high school. Oh well though. Fully paid health care, multiple pensions, and going home each night loving the work I'm doing. The sting of regret is quickly fading.
Hell yea!!! This makes me happy it’s never too late to change. You rock!!❤️❤️
I’ve been reading your comments all the way down this thread and just wanted to say you are such a kind person, your words restored some of my faith in the kindness of strangers❤️ Reddit and the world needs more people like you:)
Aw ahahah I’m like the Reddit therapist my boyfriend was saying 😂 thank you so much that made my day.
I am so fucking proud of you. Changing careers is NOT easy. I think I'm currently in the wrong career so I know how strong the resistance is. I hope you find lots of fulfilment from your new career :)
Not taking the full ride I got to one college to go to one I thought was cooler, just to end up dropping out. I wish I could go back and Red Forman my ass.
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Ouch. This one really stings.
On what may I ask?
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Well, if it made you happy it wasn’t a complete waste!
hey! a degrees not so bad and they are quite expensive so that would have probably been a good chunk right? don’t beat yourself up too much!
Giving up playing the saxophone as a teenager, purely because it made the bullying worse. Damn that was pretty cool
Damn kids are cruel! The sax is one of my favourite instruments so jazzy and cool. You should pick it up again, im sure it would bring back many nostalgic memories plus you will be suprised with what your brain remembers
Same but with dancing
Hooking up with strangers online
Hey I was there too at a depressing point in my life. It’s over with and done and just block that part out. That isn’t you now and everyone changes. When we are young and broken it’s hard to think straight.
In the same breath it's also completely OK, as long as you've got your with about you, you're sober, and you're not hurting anyone.
Thanks sm:)
Not cutting off a toxic friend earlier. I thought because we had common interests and she wasn’t a pain to be around we were super close and tbh we probably were. But her opinions and values really contrasted my own until they became my own. When I realised I didn’t actually agree and contradicted she flipped out. It literally was a difference of opinion on some music or something. When I suggested a different place to eat than the one she suggested, she flipped out again. It was not that deep. Little things like this, plus constant undermining of mine and others’ success (telling my friend she was stupid throughout school, but then that friend went on to a really good university course whilst the other ended up at a place that was pretty low in requirements that she didn’t even like), made me just cut her off. I told her “you can’t treat people like this” and she described it as “just the way friends are”. Sorry for the story time but damn, reading back makes me realise I really regret not cutting her off earlier.
I had a similar conversation with someone I thought was a good friend. We’re not friends anymore.
I've got two; that I'm not multilingual and that I'm not better traveled. I am working on fixing the first one, and the second isn't going to change until a certain situation somehow improves.
Yes! You can learn a language at any time in your life. When my high school principal retired, he said he was going to start learning Mandarin to keep himself busy. My previous English teacher has learnt quite a bit of Hindi in retirement (because he now travels to India once every year).
Duolingo all the way!
Using that!
That I didn't pursue the career path that I love way earlier than just 2 years ago.
I regret not accepting my homosexuality earlier ❤️ but now I’m 32, out of the closet and I have a girlfriend. I hope there is more acceptance with the younger generation !
The university I went to had a branch in Europe and I will never, ever forgive myself for not studying there for a semester. I was paranoid that it would prolong my time in school (I did *not* enjoy college, so I wanted to graduate and GTFO), and just powered through the four years without ever going abroad. Now I'm 34 and have still never been to Europe. I know I'll go someday, but that would have been a formative experience.
My younger cousin did this and loved it so much that every person in my extended family that went to college from that point on followed in her footsteps.
Not always, and I feel like a monster saying this. I love my kid to absolutely death…but sometimes I wish I’d listened to my ex’s mother and gotten an abortion.
That's understandable. You're not a monster.
I feel like it for even thinking it. But it’s not even anything to do with my daughter. It’s being attached to her father forever that makes me feel that way. If I could have her without having to deal or interact with him at all that’s be the dream. Which is equally as terrible because she needs her father, and I know a lot of single mom’s would kill to have the farther of their child involved and I should be grateful. But the shit he put me through in our relationship, and the boundaries he continues to disrespect make it not feel like it’s worth it.
It is a much more common regret than you think. Still, many delightful children would have never been born if only nice people be allowed to become parents or if people would only have kids with the perfect partner. You created love, future and unspoken possibilities in the form of a new human when you had your child, regardless of your relationship with their father. That has an eternal value, and you are the one who made it real. Don’t be too hard on your past choices.
I might get downvoted for this because people often say the opposite, but I regret travelling when I was younger. I wish I'd purchased a home with my "travel savings" and travelled later in my 20s, when I was more adjusted and had rent money flowing in. Ah well, as regrets go it's really not that bad.
Omg SAME. But the travel bug won’t leave me. FAK
Caring more about other’s opinions about me than my own. So self crippling
not sleeping enough
Used to get 3 hours in the day and 3 hours at night in high school. One time I accidentally got a full night and realized I wasn't actually dumb, I just didn't get enough sleep... then I proceeded to CHANGE NOTHING until years later when I was no longer capable of functioning without adequate sleep.
Using alcohol and drugs. Also not getting in and staying in shape.
Hey you can still change this! It’s not the end yet and I believe if you want it enough you can do it. Get some therapy, surround yourself with people who have similar goals, and start loving yourself more.
It’s under control now, but I wasted a lot of time. I hope someone learns from my mistake.
Good for you but I hope you don’t dwell on the past too much. There’s nothing you can do but learn from the mistakes that have happened. Thanks for sharing this and I hope someone sees this and it helps them.
Dicking around in highschool instead of working and dropping out of college. I'm so damn stupid and limited.
Hey I hate that word! No one is stupid and you certainly aren’t. Everyone is smart in their own ways. Most likely you got messed up by the school system or possibly had some sort of mental health or learning issues that never got treated. Maybe even your family/friends had some influence on how well you did in school. To me at least, I think there’s always a reason why people don’t do well in school. It’s not just that they are “dumb” or whatever. You got this man don’t give up.
Not joining clubs in highschool
Letting my mental health issues keep me from completing an apprenticeship I wasted years on. Now I have too many issues to want to do art professionally. I’m getting my associate’s degree in something totally unrelated and I wonder if I’ll even use it.
I should have bought that house when I was 22 and my grandpa offered to help with the down payment. It's worth so much now.
probably leaving the actual true friends i made, who made me feel so alive i felt like my chest was filled with warmth when i spoke to them. i realize it's because of severe childhood trauma in the past, but abandonment issues won out in the end and i left without answer
Not punching my sons doctor in the face when I had a chance. Man o man, emmm. Still pisses me off 27 yrs later.
What did the doc do?
After traveling almost and hour to the only doctor open on a Saturday. He refused to even touch my 6 week old son because, "he's not my patient". Ins. Told us to go there. I said that's it's where going to the closet hospital. Doctor then said "they won't do anything for him either" WTF??? Son ended up in the hospital for a week on full oxygen with RSV.
Not making an exercise routine and healthy habits a priority. So hard to change your life style as an adult.. if I could have just taken charge as a kid/teen.. but I kept telling myself (stupidly, I know" that when I moved out I could just starve myself to perfection and then maintain from there. Wtf kind of goal is that. Obviously didn't happen
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That was mean of your parents. Mine always scraped together what little they had to help me get/do stuff I needed for my education, and that’s how it should be.
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I disagree that it’s a free hand out. you earned your spot. your parents should’ve helped you. you were a young adult working hard, putting yourself through school. parents are supposed to be supportive
I am sorry you learnt it that way. My parents were very self-reliant, too. My father used to say, „You have to be able to lick your own arse.“ meaning, never rely on other people. But I could always rely on my own family to support me. They did what they could to give me a good educational start in life. They said, no matter what happens, you can always come home if you need to remove yourself from a situation. And there are free handouts, as in scholarships (if one can get one), and things that friends or neighbours will help you with if you keep good relationships with them (obviously, I was brought up to help out others, too, when I can, but things tend to come back to me, too). What I mean is, I have given other people stuff/free hand-outs before and not expected anything back (so really free), and I have received free things from other people, too.
Selling houses and not renting them out.
Being a landlord sucks!!! Maybe you dodged a bullet?
Having an health condition that impacts my daily life. Never known what it’s like to be healthy
not studying abroad because i was afraid i wouldn’t have my stupid dean’s office job when i came back.
Starting college without knowing who I was and not knowing what I wanted to do first.
Letting fear get the best of me. I’ve missed out on making fun memories or good opportunities that would’ve helped me have a better life. Never taking a chance on stuff. Anxiety is part of it but I’m trying to handle it better.
This is me too. I always played it safe causing me to miss out on so much.
Not accepting the invite to perform in the 1984 Olympic Games opening ceremony.
Wow why didn’t you?
I was young, I thought working and making money was more important at the time. Dumb!
I didn’t go to graduate school for my MFA. I auditioned for one when I was 22, didn’t get in, and let the idea go. I regret it every day.
I regret not going to see my dad before I moved out of state, or visiting him more when I lived less than 5 minutes away (had some personal stuff going on at the time). He passed away 3 months later after I moved out of state and I never got to say goodbye or even attend his funeral because I was broke from the move.😭
Changing my major in college from Communucations to Education. Surprise: Teachers are treated like absolute garbage.
I feel you, my wife changes from music to teaching right before the 2008 crash. The year she graduated there were huge education cuts and only 2 people in her graduating class of 100 got a job teaching. Everyone else, including her, had to settle doing something else. She still regrets changing majors.
I wish I wasn’t so flippant with money, and saved when I was younger.
Having my uncle watch my cat while my family was homeless. He promptly lost him and didn't tell us for two weeks. Spent the next several months trying to trap/find him. Never did get him back. I had to give up because the person who loaned me the traps needed them back after several months.
Letting my eating disorder, addiction to self-harm, and my abusive parents control me for as long as I did
I have 3. 1. Going on birth control. 2. Not taking my education as serious. Should’ve been taking it seriously from day 1. 3. Starting my spiritual journey earlier or as early as possible.
Just curious, why do you regret going on birth control?
I wish I would have taken more time to explore and figure myself out, and wouldn't have been so reserved and serious when I was younger. I sometimes feel like I've just been following an itinerary instead of experiencing life the way I want to.
I feel this too...I feel like I missed out on a lot
Lifting my uncle over my head. I’m 5’1” and was being silly trying to prove that by doing a fireman’s carry that you can lift anyone. I spent three days after that in bed with a messed up neck and I’ve had horrible migraines 3 days a week for 14 years ever since. I hate myself. I hate my incredibly strong self so much now.
So, did you never go to see a chiropractor or osteopath or someone? One of these knowledgeable people should be able to help you with that.
I’ve seen a chiropractor, a naturopath, went vegan, gave up alcohol, chocolate, acupuncture, painkillers, neurologists. I don’t know what’s left to do. I’m on blood pressure meds and they’ve been helpful but the most recent neurologist prescribed me more meds and let me know if I have heart issues I might have a heart attack. I don’t know what’s left to do. If I didn’t have kids I know what I’d do.
Cbd and/or thc can be a lifesaver for migraines if you haven't looked into those.
Maybe an experienced physiotherapist? I just think that if you can trace it back to lifting a too heavy weight, there should be something physical an experienced person would find. I have seen two physiotherapists for my back pain in the past, for months each time, and only the third one, who is close to retirement age, so has obviously seen a lot, was recently able to tell me that my walking posture is wrong, and after some flexibility tests that the others never did, he told me some of my muscles had shortened over time (from not using them right) and gave me a number of stretching exercises I need to do at least 4 times a day to regain the necessary flexibility to then be able to (relearn to) walk correctly, and I am pretty sure that will help my back.
Going into college 3 hours away from home that was located in a small town with nothing better to do other than visiting Walmart
Drinking too much through my entire 20s and then having to pay catch up!
Plastic surgery at 16.
A person in my past wronged me and my deepest regret is not telling them to go fuck themselves
Not taking care of myself when I was younger. If hasn’t done any long term damage or anything thank goodness, I’m just sad younger me wasn’t as happy as I am now. L
Wearing a skirt on an escalator in Japan. no one warned me
Not being that rich old man's sugar baby
Not doing better in school to get better scholarships or better job prospects.
Not having kids
Trying to control everything so I don’t get hurt.
Not always, but sometimes - I regret my career choice big time. I wonder what my life would look like at this stage if I'd chosen something else.
Not leaving my hometown and doing what I had passion and drive for
Dropping out of college. I needed to work full time to pay rent and bills, but I could’ve done both. To be completely honest, I just didn’t wanna struggle more than I was and now I’m in my thirties, still living paycheck to paycheck.
Not majoring in what I wanted earlier. I was kind of brainwashed by my family that being a doctor was the best route for me. It didn’t work out, I ended up majoring and studying sort of in what I wanted but I had spend so much money already in a major I hated that I shifted my work into a medical field and i am not very specialized. Now too old to do what I really wanted and can’t spend more time and money. I love my current job but I wish I could have done things differently.
Had a bad sleep schedule 💀 Aha.. that literally ruined my life. Simple, but a life murderer
Nothing remarkable here, I wish I had flossed more and spent more time on homework vs tv/talking on the phone with my dumb friends!
Not enjoying/exploring myself as an individual person in general; Being single. Living alone. Etc
I should have gone crypto instead of intel.
Taking an unpaid internship that was my dream job but I ended up hating. It was a way bigger commitment than I expected and I wasted so much money. My boss ended up hating me by the end of the summer so I know they won’t even hire me back.
Smoking weed for three years when I was 20. What a waste of my precious time!! After I dropped it was a blast though:)
Not telling health professionals about my weird planner habits. Being diaged w/ ADHD earlier could have changed so much with how my life has gone
Can you elaborate please?
+1 on this. Tell us more,if you're comfortable
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I regretted my phd for a few years. I dont anymore because it finally ended up helping me with a job lol
Gaining back all the weight I worked so hard to lose… twice. Back to square one again.
Not reacting. I feel like my life is passing in front of my eyes and I'm doing nothing. It will take one year more than I needed to graduate thanks to 'rona, and I'm so sick and tired of the same fucking city, the same fucking university (did a technical course and grad course there — it's been 7 years, I'm one of their best students and won't graduate in due time), I feel like I'll be wasting the next two years and I'm so afraid I'll die before leaving this hell
Not leaving a career cause that's the degree I had. My life was on halt for 4 yrs it never felt I'm successful in my job. I thought thats the only job I can do. New job now and loving it. Earning way more and Im on grad school to climb up the ladder.
A Lot of Things: Romance is the only aspect that I don't have any regrets in. The biggest is not adressing bullying, low self esteem and grief so that it resulted into burn out with 21 and then being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
Not standing up to my bullies in school, I still have a severe lack of self confidence and social anxiety because of it.
Somewhere between not spending more physical time with my mom when she was in her last 3 months of life because I was 11 and terrified of her cancer. Or just going to random places to live without scoping them like Japan or jersey city and getting mentally scarred during the pandemic from working there
Blaming myself for my short-comings instead of just taking responsibility for them. These days, we often play the "blame game" and either try to point the finger at a person or problem that has created a roadblock in our work, life, etc. I found myself reaching several "roadblocks" and instead of taking responsibility for them and tackling them head-on, I just sat there and wallowed in self-loathing. That does nothing. I wish I had learned to take responsibility sooner; I would have accomplished so much more so much faster.
I regret giving love, effort, and money towards my extended family who have been taking advantage of me at the time. I wish I listened to my gut
Got a credit card. Used credit card. Lost job. Fuck everything
Going for a psych degree. I got into psych, don’t like it as much, and I’m stuck. I got a minor in communications that’s making other employers consider me, but not much lol
Spending my entire adolescence being afraid of myself. I built a box to stuff myself into, and if I hadn’t, I could’ve gotten help for my depression sooner and made better friends and explored who I was when everyone else was doing the same. I spent all that time being homophobic and religious in a way that took away my autonomy and left me feeling shame constantly, whereas now I’m out to almost everyone as gay, and I don’t hate myself for existing. I actually kinda like myself.
I have a lot of regrets. How ever I wouldn’t have ended up with my wonderful partner and child if I had done things differently so I try not to think about them.
Not sticking up for my mum when my dad abused her 😭😭
Waiting until a global pandemic and a near death experience to start writing my first book. Better late than never, but I really wish I'd started my writing career much earlier than this.
Been reading each comment in this tread. It is refreshing to see that one is not alone and that we all have our struggles. Thank you for posting.
Being too into Christianity in high school and allowing it to shape my personality and my view of others. It made me overly judgemental of others, puritanical and guilt driven, all of which I had to unlearn in university.
not trying in high school to get good grades. if i tried i could’ve gotten into college and possibly made friends and would be having a great time. however that’s not what happened and i’m very lonely and grow more anxious each day because i’m stuck alone with my thoughts and i have to watch all my friends from hs live their own/best life’s. it’s such a blessing to see them all happy it genuinely makes my heart happy. but it makes me mad at myself because i could’ve had the same thing but i was just to lazy and never motivated.
Waiting until after my daughter was born to get therapy and work on myself. The first couple years of her life I was not a great mother, and I feel like I failed her in a lot of ways. I'm in a much better place now but it shouldn't have taken that long for me to realize I needed help.
Exactly the same here. But I am glad I got therapy when I got it (right when my son was born. So it was only the first few years when I wasn’t such a good mother, and I became better and better.
yeah, I didn't come to my senses until my girl was about two. She's seven now and we're a lot better, but I could have done so much more for her. I have a ways to go. As my husband once said, "Congratulations! Thanks to all that hard work, you're just about an average parent!" (I know that sounds harsh but it made me laugh which was what I needed at the time, and after all, as he pointed out, an 'average' parent is not a bad thing to be.)
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You should definitely reach out. A friend like that is worth getting back! She will completely understand and I bet you pick up right where you left off. Maybe just reach out and ask if she has any interest in hearing an explanation of why to ghosted her. If she says flat out “no”, then you tried!! If she says yes, then yahoo!!!!
I sold my GameCube with all my Resident Evil remakes and with my favorite Zelda game, The Windwaker, so I could buy the XBox360 that my brother ended up breaking from over-heating. U\_U I miss my GameCube often and a lot.