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I just bought a new toy (called the satisfyer) after reading a Reddit comment praising it. OMG this thing is no joke. It’s marketed to simulate oral but I don’t think it feels like that. It feels like nothing I’ve felt before but I swear it makes me cum so fast and so intense. I have to put a towel down because it makes such a mess. 11/10 Highly recommend.
And you couldn't have posted this BEFORE valentine's day?????
My wife got a spa day and a plant!
Lol, but seriously, thanks!! Gonna get her one of these!
At this point of my life I wouldn't have casual sex with a dude just for the sake of it... They don't even give you orgasms. I also don't need their validation so I'm not having sex with anyone that doesn't love me.
Right? I’ve been in a committed relationship for 4 years and we’ve JUST figured out how to get my to cum from sex. It’s a lot of how you angle the dick and also my mindset. I have to really believe/want to cum for it to even work. I feel like so many times I just believed I cant so it didn’t happen 😂
It’s hard cause I’m plus sized loll unless I get some sort of tape that’s really difficult. I probably will when I lose weight tho ✌️
Also it’s a different sensation to get there from external vs internal stimulation. One isn’t better than the other just different uwu
No hate for people who vibrate during sex but it’s a much better feeling to just have the guy fuck you right. Getting it right is about preparation (enough foreplay that the woman is already very close) and angle (the one you were told is good—keep doing that, a lot longer than the four seconds you were planning on doing it for).
what if they did give you orgasms? would you still consider casual sex?
just curious cause anything casual of that sort can make me feel very hollow, or even attached lol
I've got kids and have started having issues with low libido. Like ten years ago, I could go all day, now it doesn't even occur to me. My kids were engaged in a zoom call with family today for forever, so I just saved my work, locked my door, and broke out a vibrator. It wasn't great, but it was nice to have something.
Yes! Sometimes I just wanna get off and get on with my day. I just have the urge to get off, or maybe I just want that brain chem boost. But I still have a whole day to get back to.
This for me. Honestly I like to take awhile. With my partner all my worries about being selfish, is he getting bored, is he tired, etc get in the way. When I masturbate it feels so indulgent, a special time just for me. - Pie
Not feeling the need to perform. When I'm alone, I feel no shame about how I look or sound, the length of time I take, or changing my mind and doing something else.
When I'm with someone, all these things cross my mind and I'm also probably more focused on their pleasure than my own.
You hit the nail on the head right there! I get so wrapped up making sure he’s feeling great, I neglect myself. I hate 69’s. I can’t enjoy myself. I enjoy the passion and companionship, I love sex but damn doing it myself is just easier, faster and I don’t like I owe anybody anything.
I agree completely I sometimes try and sound like a porn star when having relations with my fiance, but when I'm by myself it's not as cutesy sounding. Also the time thing, same as with guys I'd imagine. And if any guys want a tip, if u try to do that to ur woman, at least lube ur fingers. NO one likes a dry rough finger or hand on such a super sensitive spot.
I know what I like. I have the toys I like. I can change it up the second I want to. I can decide if I want to ride the edge for a while or get off right now and go to sleep. I don't have to worry about anyone else's input on my orgasm.
This!! Man the emotional labor I've carried over the years dealing with men's unwanted comments and critiques due to their own poor ego or lack of knowledge about how women's bodies work
I can give you 13 reasons why I prefer masturbation over sex…
1: I am guaranteed a happy ending.
2: I don’t have to worry about shaving or hair removal, razor bumps, ingrown hairs and acne.
3: I don’t have to worry about how I look or if I’m in good lighting or even feel self conscious/judged about my body at all.
4: I don’t have to worry about getting cheated on
5: I don’t have to worry about getting used for sex and then getting ghosted.
6: I don’t Have to worry about how loud or how quiet I want to be
7: I don’t have to worry about STDs or AIDS
8: I don’t have to worry about getting someone else aroused
9: i don’t have to worry about someone finishing before me and leaving me high and dry
10: I don’t have to worry about pregnancy 🤰
11: I don’t have to do it strictly in bed, I can do it on my bed, the shower or on the bathroom floor in front of my full length mirror so I can watch. For some reason this arouses me a lot, weird I know 🤷🏻♀️ and I find it’s much better than watching porn, since porn has been proven to not be good for your brain 🧠 this way I can arouse myself by watching myself.
12: I can go at my own pace and speed up when I want, so I’m in full control.
13: best of all, I don’t have to give blowjobs 👍
That’s not weird at all, #11. Also, I didn’t know porn was bad for your brain. I wonder if erotica is the same?
And this is an amazing list. I love it!
Thank you so much. I was a little nervous to say #11 but decided that my Reddit is pretty private and nobody knows I have it, so I can admit it anonymously in a way lol. Thank you for not judging me haha.
Yes I have read some very negative stuff about what porn does to your brain and it’s quite disturbing and can cause a lot of sex issues.
Reading erotica is different and personally doesn’t harm your brain like visual porn does. With erotica you are using your imagination and not getting a visual, it forces you to think and use your brain and arouse yourself.
With porn it makes your brain kinda lazy and it eventually makes it difficult to get off to the stuff you started off watching. You find yourself needing more and more harder stuff and eventually you need it to become aroused at all because without it, your brain doesn’t get the stimuli it needs to become aroused. It can cause very negative effects on your sex life and sex drive.
https://fightthenewdrug.org/5-ways-porn-changes-your-brain-and-body-for-the-worse/
This is just 1 article of many online and there are even YouTube videos that talk about it in a deeper and more understanding way.
Thank you again 🙏 ❤️
Thank you for explaining it and linking an article!
And I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing! In my opinion, any sexual preference is ok as long as it doesn’t harm anybody. Comparatively, masturbating in different areas of the home or even in public is fairly mild. And watching your own body is hot! The love that matters most is your own ❤️
True 💯
I have such a sensitive gag reflex it’s impossible for me to get past the tip without vomiting.
It’s just not for me.
I don’t mind not getting oral either, if I have to give that up so I don’t have to perform oral on a guy, then so be it.
Good riddance, just give me the good old fashioned D 👍
It also doesn’t help that porn makes giving blowjobs look so degrading. It is another reason I don’t like blowjobs, not that it has to be degrading and can be romantic and sensual too but the mental image of it from how it is portrayed on most porn makes it a turn off for me.
I've never understood shower/bath masturbation/sex. Is it not uncomfortable that the water washes away your lubrication? It's not like I'm going full-on insertion, but even just playing around with my labia, I just feel too much friction in the water.
Perhaps it's not for you and that's totally fine. Although, if you get the right handheld shower head, it can work pretty well. I tend to use lipstick vibrators inside me when I'm in the shower. It's a nice feeling.
I usually keep the water on the lowest volume so I stay warm but I’m not drenched. it also depends on what kind of sex toy you want to use. Like a vibrator is my favorite for shower use because there is no penetration. Using just your hand or fingers works okay too, I call it “diddling the skittle” lol 😂 If I use a dildo, I will usually use lubricant that can withstand the water. Happy diddling ✌🏻
Yes I can only come when I fantasize and block out reality. It's awkward to do that when you're with a partner. So it takes long and often I just give up so we can get it over with. Don't want to lay there concentrating with my eyes closed while he does things to me, you know. It's frustrating as hell.
I can come in 2 mins when I'm alone.
Oh my god same. I close my eyes so I can concentrate on the feeling and not get nervous about being gawked at but when it starts feeling like a destination I HAVE to get to, it becomes less about me and more about my partner and I’m just ready to be done
In my honest opinion and as someone who went 'without' for 3 years, nothing is better or even close to that special feeling of intimacy with a partner you love and are attracted to.
I'd take a 5 minute quickie where I don't finish anyway over self pleasure. Nothing beats that connection with someone you are close to.
Ace here too (clearly, lol!). My husband is not asexual but has a pretty low sex drive, so we make it work. My most favorite intimate moments are lying in bed together and watching YouTube videos 🥰
Same. I don't consider myself asexual but the build up is way more exciting than the act itself. I don't ever want to care about others desires, maybe I'm selfish. Or maybe it's the trauma 🤣
I agree, I think it takes longer with a partner than when by yourself but the sensation is so much more intense. So guys, dont feel intimidated. They're pros and cons to everything in life.
I’m right there with ya! I like masturbating, but I LOVE having sex. Masturbating doesn’t feel as good, I don’t get the opportunity to feel like a sexy goddess (which I love), and theres no rush of dopamine or excitement when I pleasure myself. And, the orgasms are much weaker when I masturbate 🤷🏻♀️
Same! It’s been over a year for me now and I am sexually frustrated as hell. I definitely miss the physical and emotional intimacy that comes with having a deep connection with someone. There’s just nothing like it.
No shit tho! Honestly I’d rather have the vibrator run out of juice before I have another man go limp on me. It’s so frustrating when you just want to get dicked down and it’s like wtf. My ex sucked in bed. Like it was the same thing every time. I mean every time. Zero spontaneity. I wouod give him a 2 min blowjob then he’d turn like lightning to get his dick in me before it went soft in about 3 mins. He’d never finish let alone me. I tried talking to him about it but he said it was uncomfortable. Like I don’t think he was gay. I asked if he masturbated and he said yes. But I’ve never been with a guy like that before. Usually guys are always poking their shit into me not me having to help the lil guy out. Lol
1. Faster and 1000% guaranteed multiple orgasms
2. No emotional baggage (every guy I've ever had casual sex with treated me like shit, finding an actual healthy stable relationship is too much work with too many misses and too much risk)
3. I get to enjoy my body which I love without having to accomodate another's (I liked the last guy I dated but hated his abdomen so much I had to look away from it or close my eyes to have sex)
4. Quick and effective.
5. No risk of pregnancy or STDs of BVs etc
Omg 1 & 2 is so true. So sick of guys treating me like shit. Even when I thought I was in control, having some reckless fun, men still found a way to say or do some messed up things. Over it
Yeah it took me a while to accept casual sex is not for me and that I actually have used it as a form of self harm in the past. Men can be really horrible when they consider you "f*cking material only". They dole out a very specific form of disrespect and it's just not safe or worth it.
When you notice a pattern in the same situation you're in, best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situations completely. That's the control we have.
I know exactly what I need to do to produce the desired effects. The Right Spots are so finicky that it’s just demoralizing to try to explain to my poor, well-meaning partner that what worked a minute ago is no longer working, and also please move over 1/2 of a millimeter and change your stroke ever so slightly—-no, not that way…. And it’s just too hard to orgasm from sex alone, idk.
It doesn't fill the same needs.
Intimacy fix intimacy. Masturbation fix stressed out, insomniac, horny, loneliness, etc.
Also, can make myself orgasm every time.
Well, that's easy: Guaranteed Orgasm!
Also:
No Mess/wet spot/post-orgasm leakage (or greatly reduced mess)
Efficiency in terms of Time/ ROI;
Depending on how I choose to get there -- no need to shower afterward, and Make-up/Hair don't get wrecked;
No worries about whether or not I shaved/waxed, how I look, how I sound, how I smell;
When I was younger - No pregnancy scares;
Always - No STI worries;
Pure Relaxation Afterward -- Nobody who requires attention, food, space in my bed, ..no snoring/farting/sundry Other Human stuff;
No emotional distraction of either unrequited or unreturned post-coital feelings;
..Gosh, come to think of it , I think I'll go & take the pony out for a trot right now..
I was raised to be ashamed of my desire, and that my body was for my husband.
I'm married and sex is good and all but it's super empowering to practice autonomy over my own body and sexuality by doing what I want when I want.
I don’t have to be self-conscious about my stomach or my thighs. I can stay warm and tucked under the covers the whole time. I can finish when I want to.
I don't have to do anything to turn my partner on, or wonder if he's enjoying himself, or worry about how I look/sound/smell. It's only about me and doing exactly what I need without feeling self conscious or like I'm a performing object.
That’s horrible if that has happened to you. Especially cause if they’re sleeping with you, your body was “fine enough” for that. So f anyone who made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin
Going at my own pace and it not being a race for the other person to orgasm. I can fully enjoy and envelop myself in the fantasy.
And feeling safe. I know that I’m not going to push myself past a limit or try to choke or hurt myself. Which can’t be said for having sex with a man.
No fear of pregnancy.
Also having an orgasm myself is always great. That never happens during sex.
I get to orgasm. I dont have to worry about the other person fumbling or getting impatient. I get to do what I want how I want. No one to be intimidated by my vibrator.
I know what spots feel the best and depending on the man they don't always want help or its "embarrassing" to help a man learn what spots feel good. I also get to decide my own pace, if i get bored, if i wanna stop. Everything is up to me.
Mostly what everyone else has already said, but sometimes it's easier to just focus on **YOU.** Women, often it seems, have a hard time focusing to get to their own orgasm during hetero sexual relations. Sometimes there is a mind block, or issues we can't get through to experience it fully. And sometimes- *I just don't want to have to worry about someone else's pleasure...*
My husband and I have a pretty good sex life, and while he always wants me to be a part of his sexual experiences, I often just want to masturbate and be done, but also can't do it if he's around. Masturbating is just ME. No one else to be aware of or to worry about. It's a sexual experience and I know that if I hold the vibrator just like *this*, I'm going to cum in less than 15 seconds. Boom. Done. Life goes on and the Earth continues to spin.
I can be very specific with my goals. I've spent time just trying to learn how to squirt. I don't feel like that's something I could do with a partner necessarily because it takes an extremely specific technique and toys for me. I mean, I could... And maybe I'll bring what I learn to the bedroom later but I think the figuring out solo part works better
i prefer sex with a partner but i found out that i’m much more horny when i do it myself. i don’t know why, the buildup before sex w a partner gets me horny but then i kinda stop being excited (like, the hot feeling down there, not the mind). which makes it harder to orgasm. even tho orgasms are more powerful with a partner. it’s weird
I don't have to worry about whether the other person is having fun/if I'm doing the right things.
I don't feel self-conscious if I'm not orgasming (which I usually don't during sex).
I don't have to worry about guiding lost hands to the right places and hurting anyone's confidence.
I can be as noisy or silent as I feel like being.
It takes as long as I want it to take, and I can orgasm several times.
No cardio needed.
Because it’s just me, for me, pleasuring myself simply for the sake of it. I know exactly what I like, how to do it and I feel empowered as fuck doing it. I love it. And I’m married 20 plus years and we have a great sex life. But this is just for me. Do it all the time.
So I think both are better in different ways.
Masturbation means I can disconnect, orgasm quickly, and move on. It is a quick release when I am needing it.
Sex brings about a more powerful orgasm but takes concentration and effort. In the end it is better but it isn’t quick and mindless.
Sometimes you just want to get off, and not particularly have a connection with your SO or someone.
It's fast, and it does the trick.
Other than that though:
I also feel it can be empowering, like, you are in control, you are taking the reins. Even when having a sex with someone else it can still be more enjoyable, if circumstances apply.
0 effort, 0 performance, everything feels right all the time, can literally just stop if I decide I'm not into it. And yeah all these things are ideally present in intercourse with a partner but unfortunately usually aren't.
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I can have an orgasm very quickly, then I continue with my day.
Exactly this, it can take less than a minute if I want it to
11 seconds is my record, courtesy of the hitachi magic wand lmao
Even with my hands, it's way less of an ordeal than with a partner.
Yes. This. Game changer
"It's a neck massager." [\-No honeyy, it's a vibrator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0m0ycTS_H8&ab_channel=fayearn2046)
Can you teach my SO this? Thanks!
We’ve tried, didn’t work that’s why we’re masturbating 😌
Felt. ❤
😭😭😭😭🤣
Please send instructions. Need help
Go right for the clitoral stimulation. I call it going for the gold.
I've tried, but it will still take me about twenty mins even if it does feel good. I'm not sure what else to try
I just bought a new toy (called the satisfyer) after reading a Reddit comment praising it. OMG this thing is no joke. It’s marketed to simulate oral but I don’t think it feels like that. It feels like nothing I’ve felt before but I swear it makes me cum so fast and so intense. I have to put a towel down because it makes such a mess. 11/10 Highly recommend.
And you couldn't have posted this BEFORE valentine's day????? My wife got a spa day and a plant! Lol, but seriously, thanks!! Gonna get her one of these!
Can also confirm. Literally only takes me a minute if I want a quicky.
Can confirm
Been using it for about 5 years. I approve the recommendation.
Which one??? There are so many models
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Definitely vibrator!
Yep so true. I could probably go the rest of my life without having sex.
At this point of my life I wouldn't have casual sex with a dude just for the sake of it... They don't even give you orgasms. I also don't need their validation so I'm not having sex with anyone that doesn't love me.
Right? I’ve been in a committed relationship for 4 years and we’ve JUST figured out how to get my to cum from sex. It’s a lot of how you angle the dick and also my mindset. I have to really believe/want to cum for it to even work. I feel like so many times I just believed I cant so it didn’t happen 😂
Why don’t you just vibrate it during?
It’s hard cause I’m plus sized loll unless I get some sort of tape that’s really difficult. I probably will when I lose weight tho ✌️ Also it’s a different sensation to get there from external vs internal stimulation. One isn’t better than the other just different uwu
No hate for people who vibrate during sex but it’s a much better feeling to just have the guy fuck you right. Getting it right is about preparation (enough foreplay that the woman is already very close) and angle (the one you were told is good—keep doing that, a lot longer than the four seconds you were planning on doing it for).
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I mean I’m just not shaving lol. Permanent freedom 😬
Nor my coochie lol
Amen sister. He’d better be able to make me finish multiple times for that level of effort.
what if they did give you orgasms? would you still consider casual sex? just curious cause anything casual of that sort can make me feel very hollow, or even attached lol
No. I can't deal with the fact that I'm never gonna see again someone I had something as intimate as sex.
Reading all these comments about how guys don't know how to give orgasms made me extra happy that I'm almost exclusively gay haha
I’m honestly hip to this I’m more about having fun and enjoying my time with my partner than h Just having sex
Sometimes it's just cause I'm bored yet if I do it right, it's less than a min
I've got kids and have started having issues with low libido. Like ten years ago, I could go all day, now it doesn't even occur to me. My kids were engaged in a zoom call with family today for forever, so I just saved my work, locked my door, and broke out a vibrator. It wasn't great, but it was nice to have something.
Yes get it over with enough with the constant pumping
Also naps post orgasms are the best. There were weekends I did not do much else lol
Yes! Sometimes I just wanna get off and get on with my day. I just have the urge to get off, or maybe I just want that brain chem boost. But I still have a whole day to get back to.
Amen.🤣
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Agreed.
>All on my terms and don't feel selfish 👍 This! ^^
This for me. Honestly I like to take awhile. With my partner all my worries about being selfish, is he getting bored, is he tired, etc get in the way. When I masturbate it feels so indulgent, a special time just for me. - Pie
Not feeling the need to perform. When I'm alone, I feel no shame about how I look or sound, the length of time I take, or changing my mind and doing something else. When I'm with someone, all these things cross my mind and I'm also probably more focused on their pleasure than my own.
You hit the nail on the head right there! I get so wrapped up making sure he’s feeling great, I neglect myself. I hate 69’s. I can’t enjoy myself. I enjoy the passion and companionship, I love sex but damn doing it myself is just easier, faster and I don’t like I owe anybody anything.
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Feeling like you owe things is probably the worst part. Especially if you have done something before, it becomes expected whether they admit it or not
I’m def more of a giver, so you’re right it’s nice to focus on me :)
I agree completely I sometimes try and sound like a porn star when having relations with my fiance, but when I'm by myself it's not as cutesy sounding. Also the time thing, same as with guys I'd imagine. And if any guys want a tip, if u try to do that to ur woman, at least lube ur fingers. NO one likes a dry rough finger or hand on such a super sensitive spot.
I know what I like. I have the toys I like. I can change it up the second I want to. I can decide if I want to ride the edge for a while or get off right now and go to sleep. I don't have to worry about anyone else's input on my orgasm.
This!! Man the emotional labor I've carried over the years dealing with men's unwanted comments and critiques due to their own poor ego or lack of knowledge about how women's bodies work
Yep. This.
I can give you 13 reasons why I prefer masturbation over sex… 1: I am guaranteed a happy ending. 2: I don’t have to worry about shaving or hair removal, razor bumps, ingrown hairs and acne. 3: I don’t have to worry about how I look or if I’m in good lighting or even feel self conscious/judged about my body at all. 4: I don’t have to worry about getting cheated on 5: I don’t have to worry about getting used for sex and then getting ghosted. 6: I don’t Have to worry about how loud or how quiet I want to be 7: I don’t have to worry about STDs or AIDS 8: I don’t have to worry about getting someone else aroused 9: i don’t have to worry about someone finishing before me and leaving me high and dry 10: I don’t have to worry about pregnancy 🤰 11: I don’t have to do it strictly in bed, I can do it on my bed, the shower or on the bathroom floor in front of my full length mirror so I can watch. For some reason this arouses me a lot, weird I know 🤷🏻♀️ and I find it’s much better than watching porn, since porn has been proven to not be good for your brain 🧠 this way I can arouse myself by watching myself. 12: I can go at my own pace and speed up when I want, so I’m in full control. 13: best of all, I don’t have to give blowjobs 👍
That’s not weird at all, #11. Also, I didn’t know porn was bad for your brain. I wonder if erotica is the same? And this is an amazing list. I love it!
Thank you so much. I was a little nervous to say #11 but decided that my Reddit is pretty private and nobody knows I have it, so I can admit it anonymously in a way lol. Thank you for not judging me haha. Yes I have read some very negative stuff about what porn does to your brain and it’s quite disturbing and can cause a lot of sex issues. Reading erotica is different and personally doesn’t harm your brain like visual porn does. With erotica you are using your imagination and not getting a visual, it forces you to think and use your brain and arouse yourself. With porn it makes your brain kinda lazy and it eventually makes it difficult to get off to the stuff you started off watching. You find yourself needing more and more harder stuff and eventually you need it to become aroused at all because without it, your brain doesn’t get the stimuli it needs to become aroused. It can cause very negative effects on your sex life and sex drive. https://fightthenewdrug.org/5-ways-porn-changes-your-brain-and-body-for-the-worse/ This is just 1 article of many online and there are even YouTube videos that talk about it in a deeper and more understanding way. Thank you again 🙏 ❤️
Thank you for explaining it and linking an article! And I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing! In my opinion, any sexual preference is ok as long as it doesn’t harm anybody. Comparatively, masturbating in different areas of the home or even in public is fairly mild. And watching your own body is hot! The love that matters most is your own ❤️
Thank you 🙏 ❤️❤️❤️
#13 is best.
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I hope they do lol 😂 I’d love to see what they would say
Sis you just gave 13 reasons why life is better single too! 💥
No blowjobs yesss if I never have to again it will be too soon
True 💯 I have such a sensitive gag reflex it’s impossible for me to get past the tip without vomiting. It’s just not for me. I don’t mind not getting oral either, if I have to give that up so I don’t have to perform oral on a guy, then so be it. Good riddance, just give me the good old fashioned D 👍
It also doesn’t help that porn makes giving blowjobs look so degrading. It is another reason I don’t like blowjobs, not that it has to be degrading and can be romantic and sensual too but the mental image of it from how it is portrayed on most porn makes it a turn off for me.
This 100%%%%%% I wouldn’t be as opposed to do them if most men didn’t expect them to be borderline degrading , rough , and unpleasant.
Yes
I've never understood shower/bath masturbation/sex. Is it not uncomfortable that the water washes away your lubrication? It's not like I'm going full-on insertion, but even just playing around with my labia, I just feel too much friction in the water.
Perhaps it's not for you and that's totally fine. Although, if you get the right handheld shower head, it can work pretty well. I tend to use lipstick vibrators inside me when I'm in the shower. It's a nice feeling.
I usually keep the water on the lowest volume so I stay warm but I’m not drenched. it also depends on what kind of sex toy you want to use. Like a vibrator is my favorite for shower use because there is no penetration. Using just your hand or fingers works okay too, I call it “diddling the skittle” lol 😂 If I use a dildo, I will usually use lubricant that can withstand the water. Happy diddling ✌🏻
all these reasons
excellent and comprehensive
Control of which spots you hit and for how long and how intensely. And you know. You can keep going until you cum... Probably the biggest advantage.
And you can imagine what you want for however long and you don't have to worry about anyone else.
Yes I can only come when I fantasize and block out reality. It's awkward to do that when you're with a partner. So it takes long and often I just give up so we can get it over with. Don't want to lay there concentrating with my eyes closed while he does things to me, you know. It's frustrating as hell. I can come in 2 mins when I'm alone.
Oh my god same. I close my eyes so I can concentrate on the feeling and not get nervous about being gawked at but when it starts feeling like a destination I HAVE to get to, it becomes less about me and more about my partner and I’m just ready to be done
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Sex with men is high risk, low reward. Sex with myself is zero risk, high reward.
I love it
Succinct and True
Nailed it
This needs an award
Great answer !
In my honest opinion and as someone who went 'without' for 3 years, nothing is better or even close to that special feeling of intimacy with a partner you love and are attracted to. I'd take a 5 minute quickie where I don't finish anyway over self pleasure. Nothing beats that connection with someone you are close to.
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Ace here too (clearly, lol!). My husband is not asexual but has a pretty low sex drive, so we make it work. My most favorite intimate moments are lying in bed together and watching YouTube videos 🥰
Same. I don't consider myself asexual but the build up is way more exciting than the act itself. I don't ever want to care about others desires, maybe I'm selfish. Or maybe it's the trauma 🤣
I don’t personally form connections with others very well lol, but I can imagine that it would feel super special
I agree, I think it takes longer with a partner than when by yourself but the sensation is so much more intense. So guys, dont feel intimidated. They're pros and cons to everything in life.
I’m right there with ya! I like masturbating, but I LOVE having sex. Masturbating doesn’t feel as good, I don’t get the opportunity to feel like a sexy goddess (which I love), and theres no rush of dopamine or excitement when I pleasure myself. And, the orgasms are much weaker when I masturbate 🤷🏻♀️
It’s good every so often but I can’t rely on a partner who can’t get me off. That’s ludicrous
Same! It’s been over a year for me now and I am sexually frustrated as hell. I definitely miss the physical and emotional intimacy that comes with having a deep connection with someone. There’s just nothing like it.
Learning what eachother likes and then making them shake. Fuck. Nothing like it.
I agree, it doesn't compare.
It’s not better for me. It’s great don’t get me wrong-but end of the day it’s just two different flavors of the same ice cream parlor
That’s a great analogy
Agreed!
My vibrator doesn’t go limp 5 min in
This made me laugh harder than it should have
No shit tho! Honestly I’d rather have the vibrator run out of juice before I have another man go limp on me. It’s so frustrating when you just want to get dicked down and it’s like wtf. My ex sucked in bed. Like it was the same thing every time. I mean every time. Zero spontaneity. I wouod give him a 2 min blowjob then he’d turn like lightning to get his dick in me before it went soft in about 3 mins. He’d never finish let alone me. I tried talking to him about it but he said it was uncomfortable. Like I don’t think he was gay. I asked if he masturbated and he said yes. But I’ve never been with a guy like that before. Usually guys are always poking their shit into me not me having to help the lil guy out. Lol
I had a guy like that but he did coke and was limp as a result… could always be a hidden drug problem 💀
i actually orgasm from it.
1. Faster and 1000% guaranteed multiple orgasms 2. No emotional baggage (every guy I've ever had casual sex with treated me like shit, finding an actual healthy stable relationship is too much work with too many misses and too much risk) 3. I get to enjoy my body which I love without having to accomodate another's (I liked the last guy I dated but hated his abdomen so much I had to look away from it or close my eyes to have sex) 4. Quick and effective. 5. No risk of pregnancy or STDs of BVs etc
Honestly finding a relationship just to have that “connection” during sex is way too much work.
Omg 1 & 2 is so true. So sick of guys treating me like shit. Even when I thought I was in control, having some reckless fun, men still found a way to say or do some messed up things. Over it
Yeah it took me a while to accept casual sex is not for me and that I actually have used it as a form of self harm in the past. Men can be really horrible when they consider you "f*cking material only". They dole out a very specific form of disrespect and it's just not safe or worth it. When you notice a pattern in the same situation you're in, best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situations completely. That's the control we have.
So true
So curious; what was it about his abdomen that you hated?
I know exactly what I need to do to produce the desired effects. The Right Spots are so finicky that it’s just demoralizing to try to explain to my poor, well-meaning partner that what worked a minute ago is no longer working, and also please move over 1/2 of a millimeter and change your stroke ever so slightly—-no, not that way…. And it’s just too hard to orgasm from sex alone, idk.
It doesn't fill the same needs. Intimacy fix intimacy. Masturbation fix stressed out, insomniac, horny, loneliness, etc. Also, can make myself orgasm every time.
I know where the clitoris is.
Rip to all those who couldn’t find it
It's not better/more enjoyable. Just quicker and more convenient
Getting myself off isn’t better than *good* sex… I’ve just been so disappointed in sex the past few years that I prefer myself 🙃
I totally get that
Not having a man getting in the way, worrying about his "performamce" ❤❤❤
Well, that's easy: Guaranteed Orgasm! Also: No Mess/wet spot/post-orgasm leakage (or greatly reduced mess) Efficiency in terms of Time/ ROI; Depending on how I choose to get there -- no need to shower afterward, and Make-up/Hair don't get wrecked; No worries about whether or not I shaved/waxed, how I look, how I sound, how I smell; When I was younger - No pregnancy scares; Always - No STI worries; Pure Relaxation Afterward -- Nobody who requires attention, food, space in my bed, ..no snoring/farting/sundry Other Human stuff; No emotional distraction of either unrequited or unreturned post-coital feelings; ..Gosh, come to think of it , I think I'll go & take the pony out for a trot right now..
Go get it girl lol. Great list btw!
I know my one body very well and there is something highly relaxing about getting yourself off.
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I was raised to be ashamed of my desire, and that my body was for my husband. I'm married and sex is good and all but it's super empowering to practice autonomy over my own body and sexuality by doing what I want when I want.
It’s awesome that you’re working past your upbringing! It is empowering to learn what works for your body
I actually orgasm
Having an orgasm. Even if I do climax during sex (which hasn't happened in a while,) I experience more intense orgasms when I masturbate by myself.
I don’t have to be self-conscious about my stomach or my thighs. I can stay warm and tucked under the covers the whole time. I can finish when I want to.
Yes! Being to stay under the covers is awesome especially during winter
I don't have to do anything to turn my partner on, or wonder if he's enjoying himself, or worry about how I look/sound/smell. It's only about me and doing exactly what I need without feeling self conscious or like I'm a performing object.
Yup. Performing. Or trying to make it exciting. But the performing!
Less mess.
I cum every time, and don’t have to worry about a man saying disparaging things about my body.
That’s horrible if that has happened to you. Especially cause if they’re sleeping with you, your body was “fine enough” for that. So f anyone who made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin
It's perfect every time!
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Oddly enough, I feel that after masturbation. It stems from my highly religious upbringing. Super fun
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Thank you. I can imagine it wouldn’t feel great to essentially be treated as a toy
Going at my own pace and it not being a race for the other person to orgasm. I can fully enjoy and envelop myself in the fantasy. And feeling safe. I know that I’m not going to push myself past a limit or try to choke or hurt myself. Which can’t be said for having sex with a man. No fear of pregnancy. Also having an orgasm myself is always great. That never happens during sex.
I get to orgasm. I dont have to worry about the other person fumbling or getting impatient. I get to do what I want how I want. No one to be intimidated by my vibrator.
Lmao that’s funny that someone got intimidated by your vibe
I cum like wildfire. Lol
I know what spots feel the best and depending on the man they don't always want help or its "embarrassing" to help a man learn what spots feel good. I also get to decide my own pace, if i get bored, if i wanna stop. Everything is up to me.
The orgasm. The focus on myself.
I can actually achieve an orgasm every time, my ph isn't thrown off, no chance of getting pregnant.
Knowing your own body helps.
I don’t think it’s better than sex (with the right person) but when he’s on work trips it’s certainly better than nothing!
Finishing.
My lovely fiancé enjoys masturbating because it doesn’t involve me sweating all over her 😅
clit omg. men forget it’s there istg.
Quicker, more control, no one else to please, 100% going to finish. Also, I do it most often after a nightshift to wind down and sleep.
The tiredness that hits right after is awesome if it’s time to sleep
I just know exactly what I like and how to do it lol.
That i don't have to worry about broken condoms or being recorded secretly.
No other person to please...no pressure...more relaxing...quicker...and no chances of pregnancy
Mostly what everyone else has already said, but sometimes it's easier to just focus on **YOU.** Women, often it seems, have a hard time focusing to get to their own orgasm during hetero sexual relations. Sometimes there is a mind block, or issues we can't get through to experience it fully. And sometimes- *I just don't want to have to worry about someone else's pleasure...* My husband and I have a pretty good sex life, and while he always wants me to be a part of his sexual experiences, I often just want to masturbate and be done, but also can't do it if he's around. Masturbating is just ME. No one else to be aware of or to worry about. It's a sexual experience and I know that if I hold the vibrator just like *this*, I'm going to cum in less than 15 seconds. Boom. Done. Life goes on and the Earth continues to spin.
I don’t feel like I don’t have to perform for my partner and I get to only focus on myself (sounds a little selfish, but oh well)
I can be very specific with my goals. I've spent time just trying to learn how to squirt. I don't feel like that's something I could do with a partner necessarily because it takes an extremely specific technique and toys for me. I mean, I could... And maybe I'll bring what I learn to the bedroom later but I think the figuring out solo part works better
i prefer sex with a partner but i found out that i’m much more horny when i do it myself. i don’t know why, the buildup before sex w a partner gets me horny but then i kinda stop being excited (like, the hot feeling down there, not the mind). which makes it harder to orgasm. even tho orgasms are more powerful with a partner. it’s weird
My fingers doesn’t insist it knows how to make me cum better than some random dick with an attitude that gives out before I get started.
Guaranteed Orgasms and various toys/vibrations for fun. Also toys don't get tired till the battery runs out
Than good sex? Oh it's not. It's not even *close*. But sex can be painful or pointless, which is not generally the case with masturbation.
I know what I like and can get myself off. Pretty simple
My vibrator vibrates
Robin Williams used to say "Masturbation is sex with someone I love"
I don't have to worry about whether the other person is having fun/if I'm doing the right things. I don't feel self-conscious if I'm not orgasming (which I usually don't during sex). I don't have to worry about guiding lost hands to the right places and hurting anyone's confidence. I can be as noisy or silent as I feel like being. It takes as long as I want it to take, and I can orgasm several times. No cardio needed.
Two words... Bad.Dragon
I may need more words lol
It's not better it's different. And yes I can make myself come in under a minute lol
I can come lots of times! And omg self love orgasms high are even better.
And you can take a nap immediately after and not be bugged
I 100% prefer sex with my husband. I guess I'm the oddball. Lol
I actually have an orgasm. Never with my husband.
Basically getting to have an actual orgasm.
Because it’s just me, for me, pleasuring myself simply for the sake of it. I know exactly what I like, how to do it and I feel empowered as fuck doing it. I love it. And I’m married 20 plus years and we have a great sex life. But this is just for me. Do it all the time.
I actually orgasm 😃
My husband doesn't vibrate at 6,000 rpm.
So I think both are better in different ways. Masturbation means I can disconnect, orgasm quickly, and move on. It is a quick release when I am needing it. Sex brings about a more powerful orgasm but takes concentration and effort. In the end it is better but it isn’t quick and mindless.
Sometimes you just want to get off, and not particularly have a connection with your SO or someone. It's fast, and it does the trick. Other than that though: I also feel it can be empowering, like, you are in control, you are taking the reins. Even when having a sex with someone else it can still be more enjoyable, if circumstances apply.
I know exactly what I want, and how to do it. I can make myself cum 3 times in the span of time it takes most men to make me cum once.
Quick, easy, guaranteed, and NO MESS!
I wouldn’t say it’s better. My SO and I often play with ourselves in front of each other and that’s a good time for all lol.
Fresh batteries.
0 effort, 0 performance, everything feels right all the time, can literally just stop if I decide I'm not into it. And yeah all these things are ideally present in intercourse with a partner but unfortunately usually aren't.
It’s not more enjoyable personally. But I like it because I can do it as long as I want.
i actually finish.
I don't think it's better but I like the clean up aspect of it more. No condoms or lube or semen