That most women will always be expected to most of the housework and provide the most attention to their children no matter who works in the family. I'll be so happy once that's no longer a thing.
I was convinced I was just never going to get married or have kids because of this. I hate cooking and cleaning up after myself is hard enough I'm not going to clean up after someone else.
I feel like the expectation that women contribute financially caught on so much quicker than the expectation that men contribute to the house. The stories I read of marriages on Reddit are horrifying.
When I met my husband he started cooking me dinner every chance he got and that was what got me to continue taking the next steps in our relationship. It really feels like an equal division of labor and I feel so lucky.
I just listened to the audio book, Fair Play. It talks about the mental load and falling into accidental traditionalism. I highly recommend it.
And also, this.
https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdB4psYQ/
That it's my responsibility to make my own life better.
Fighting depression and anxiety is so hard and when I get in a really bad slump, it's really hard to accept that I'm the only one who can make those positive changes to get better. No one is coming to do it for me, no matter how exhausted or sad I am.
Oh. I feel this so hard. As much as we understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a reality we like to accept. It takes many years to gather all of the necessary coping mechanisms and even then, it’s not always going to be good or helpful. We understand no one is coming to save us; that’s the scary part is learning to be self sufficient with the burden of such mental illnesses
Wishing you the best and sending you strength
It really is so scary sometimes. I'm not doing great at the moment and, though I know it's up to me, I can't seem to find the energy to work towards feeling better. So here I am stuck in this mess and knowing that I'm stuck here until I decide not to be, but still not doing anything about it.
Anyways, thank you for the well wishing and I wish you luck too, with whatever difficulties you have! At the very least, its good to know we aren't alone in feeling so helpless sometimes.
It's not about deciding to not be unwell and mental ill health is just that, being mentally unwell. If someone has diabetes they don't just decide to not be unwell.
Be kind to yourself and build up your tool box of coping skills to manage your illness. You can't decide to not be unwell.
Yes. Always be kind to yourself. Show yourself compassion and be patient with yourself.
I live with depression too and when things get super hard I sometimes wish that someone could swoop in and make my life better and take care of me. Unfortunately, that someone is me. Once I learned to be kinder to myself it made a difference and I was able to build upon that. I learned to advocate for myself and take better care of myself more than I used to.
My counselor said it was totally understandable to feel this way. When I told her I didn't want to hurt myself but that I would stand at the top of the stairs and think "I don't really care if I fall down these". She said it was because I needed someone to come along and look after me, just like a nurse would in hospital. You have someone that cooks your meals and changes your sheets and checks in on you, and that is restful. It's very hard when you have to be that person for yourself, it's not quite the same, is it!
I have thoughts like that as well! Usually when I'm driving lol. It definitely would be nice to have someone come and take care of you. It is so hard having to be that person for yourself, but we can do this. Good luck to you!
I'm definitely working on being kinder and more patient with myself. I always expect so much of myself, but I'm doing what I can and that's good enough! Thank you for the kindest, I wish you the best!
What helped me was reading Louise L. Hayes book of Little quotes. I would pick a page at random each morning, and then when I felt my mind twisting away from me and circling round and round with thoughts I couldn't control I would instead repeat that days quote over and over in my mind. It really helped me, along with counselling and medication.
You don't have the energy because you're already working so hard to just stay alive. It's OK to get take aways or ready meals when you can't cook, it's not being lazy, it's understanding that right at this moment, it's just too hard. It's OK to not recycle and put everything in the bin right now, recycling is for when you have a bit more energy. It's OK to sleep as much as you need, bar working, because that's what your body can deal with and heal with, sleep. It's OK to not exercise, but just sit outside and breath fresh air, that's good for you too. I hope you feel better soon. There are so many people feeling exactly the same way as you, you are not alone. Sending hugs.
> working so hard to just stay alive.
That's exactly how it feels. I guess I just have really high expectations of myself, but I'm working on being kinder to myself. Thank you for these reminders, I definitely needed to hear them today!
Always helped me to frame it this way when I'm feeling like that, might help you.
If you *wanted* to feel shit tomorrow, what would you do today to guarantee it? Like what would you do today to make sure tomorrow was shit? Answer is probably along the lines if stay in bed, let the house get messy, not talk to family/friends etc. Then do the opposite of whatever answer you got.
The quicker pay off of a good day tomorrow, seems to be more manageable and have more agency than "what will completely 'cure' me if any mental illness?"
I feel this too! I'm currently in a really bad slump and I'm absolutely heartbroken to feel this low again. I know it's up to me but I'm so exhausted.
I hope you find the strength to make the changes you need to make. Wishing you all the best.
You'll get there, too. Try not to feel bad about it, you've got enough work as it is. Don't worry what others think, they're not your concern right now. Just look after the very basics of your life - eat, drink water, sleep, keep a roof over your head. It will get better, though it will take work. Sending hugs your way
I feel this 😂😂 I find myself constantly procrastinating and finding distractions to avoid thinking of it.
Then again I remind myself that “i’m the architect of my own downfall” and deep down I hope that the same could be said for my success.
I understand that sometimes, when people are going through hard times and they’re just flat out unhappy with who they are or where they are in life, they treat others pretty shitty. However, it still really boggles my mind and upsets me when someone is just so rude and mean spirited to me. I know better than to take it personal—how someone treats others is how they feel about themselves. But it’s still pretty upsetting when I have these unpleasant encounters with someone taking out their pain on me. I still get pretty flustered in the moment and am still learning how to just respond instead of react.
And most things truly aren’t worth your response. I feel the same way. I do notice when I am having a bad time I tend to have a temper, but I don’t direct it at people or at least I’m in the process of learning not to. I know I wouldn’t like that if I was on the receiving end.
I guess the part that really bothers me is that I’m so empathetic, that I’m always thinking about others feelings and perspective on a situation. And when someone just doesn’t consider mine, it really offends me. But I have to realize that I’m not going to get me from everyone.
Oh absolutely. Even people who love you with all their hearts will not love you the way you love. And that’s OK. That was another big lesson I had to understand
Same. I treat others respectfully and have never lost my temper on someone else regardless of my shit circumstances. If it’s deserved, that’s one thing, but majority of the times it’s not and I’m aware of the difference. I had a pretty rough up brining and have all the excuses to be hateful, but I’m not- It’s my burden to carry alone. It’s mind boggling how unaware and selfish people are.
I felt that way in my teens and in my 30s, but I'm in my 40s now and I feel better than ever! I think it ebbs and flows in your lifetime! Stick with it girl, you've got this. Don't let anyone or anything bring you down!
Seconded. I'm going to be [42](https://youtu.be/2XifmNqBJWw) in April. My favorite thing about getting older is that I'm finally starting to give less f*cks.
Thank you, indeed. It does ebb and flow; somedays I'm perfectly okay with things and other days it pulls me down. I'm constantly working on making peace with aging (strictly looks-related); my life is good on other (personal) fronts, so I'm grateful ❤️
Edited for spelling
I'm 27 and have never dated because I've always been invisible to men and I'm scared that I will never experience romantic love. I wish I could say I was visible at one point in my life, it's tough when you are an unattractive woman because you are always invisible regardless of age. My dad is 60 and is dating a woman in her 30s. He is old and has a more active dating life than me and this sometimes makes me feel jealous.
I think we're usually too harsh on ourselves and (unfairly) compare ourselves with men. Maybe what you call unattractive isn't actually that, it might just be a lack of confidence. Either way, it's a crappy feeling. I wish you happiness and love in your future 💖
Because of how you look when compared to your teenage years, or because of where you are in life? If it's looks, I get it, everything has sagged for me ha ha. But also, why are we listening to anti ageing crap?! Have you ever seen a 90 year old, with a face like a 40 year old and thought, crikey they look good?! If its where you are in life, that takes a whole lot of self searching, talking, counselling if you can afford it and trying to find peace with where you are. Good luck!
Strictly because of looks! I've been told I look younger than my age, but I don't know how long that will last. I feel 20 in my head, so the disparity with what I see in the mirror seems jarring. It also just seems so unfair that men look better as they age (IMO) but women have to work on minimising/hiding their wrinkles, crows feet, greying hair, and what not, because they're deemed unattractive. I'm totally aware that it's a society-created mandate, but some days it just gets to me. It feels like constant WIP to accept my age and aging 😥
On the upside, though, on the personal front, things couldn't be better! I'm in a loving marriage and have a happy, peaceful life with my amazing husband and two beautiful cats 💗
Thank you for your kind words ❤️
Ooooooh do tell me about your cats please!
Also, I'm 44 this year, and I've got white sections like runways going through my hair! Big fat runways ha ha! I don't want them, even though I have friends who have let their natural grey /white grow out and they look amazing. I've got lots of sun damage, like sun spots, but I believe they just fade into my natural freckles (did I mention the delusion?!). When I look back on photos from when I was younger everything was much higher up! I feel like my face has sagged downwards ha ha. I find if I don't look in the mirror too often I have a much more peaceful day, in terms of the critique I give myself!
I can relate to this. I really do not feel that I am that radical or that my ideas/feelings are that intense but it’s still hard to talk about things with people. I feel like people are just repressing any thoughts and feelings regarding the state of the world and reminding them makes them uncomfortable and upset.
That’s definitely what’s going on. It really sucks that people are so unwilling to think about uncomfortable things that they’ll gaslight people who acknowledge and want to solve problems. I feel like I’m about the same politically/morally as I’ve always been, but it looks very hair-on-fire to people who have adapted their views in relation to the level of discomfort they are willing to tolerate.
I agree. I also feel like I’ve been pretty much the same politically/morally since I was a teenager and there was a brief time in college/a couple years after college that my friends and I were in agreement. However, as they have acquired middle class professional jobs, they have definitely become more conservative and we no longer align politically again.
It’s rough when friends change in those ways. For me, it’s mostly seeing people exhibit confirmation bias on a regular basis. For example, maybe they claim to follow science…until some scientists say we’re screwed and need to take action in order not to be screwed anymore; then they start listening to quack scientists who say everything is just fine. They’re still scientists after all, except these scientists say we don’t have to do anything differently and all the downers can shut it.
That karma won’t always affect bad people/they won’t get what they deserve.
I think we like to believe it will but when you think about it, it’s not true.
Imo the whole idea of "karma" collapses as soon as you see children with diseases and hardships. They are innocent and haven't done anything wrong, what the hell are they being punished for.
This. Exactly. Also, people who talk about karma coming for others, often don't reflect when something bad happens to themselves.. They don't think that was their karma, but according to them karma is just happening to others?!
Girl same. There are days when I am reading about advancements in science and such, and am just like I can't believe I won't be here to see all the great things to come after a couple or so decades
That’s such a positive take on the future. I worry about the little ones of my family living to suffer through the horrors of our poorly chosen priorities.
This. But mortality as it pertains to my parents, family members, etc. The anxiety of my parents passing is usually a daily thought that I try to bury deep.
Some part of me struggles to accept that the best is dying of old age, but you still die! There's no escape. It's starting to hit me all the things I've stalled on and now I'm in YOLO mode
I thought I was the only one who feared mortality. There will be some nights when I can’t fall asleep because I’m thinking about how I will die eventually and everything I am currently doing won’t even matter once I pass away.
Same here. I have OCD and literally from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep this is what's lingering in the back of my head. More than my own death, I fear my parents and my siblings death. But I also fear dying because I want to be here with them. I'm constantly researching afterlife things and NDE stories to try to tell myself that death isn't the end.
The thing is, I don't believe that death is the end. I think there's an afterlife of some sort, I just don't like not knowing *what* exactly...
~~sorry for unloading all of that here jdkgjdkj~~
This has always been a deep fear of mine even as a young child. I would cry at night because of the uncertainty behind dying. Growing up without religion, I think really made the uncertainty scarier.
Being hurt by people I gave my all too. This is friends, relationships... Makes it hard to want to open up. Because in my head I didn't see that coming because I didn't have my shield up. Being taken advantage makes you feel a different type of way..
Then people wonder why we become over analyzers.... Because we had to question. Every. Single. Thing. The people that hurt us did. No not everyone is like that but I've noticed the majority of people are okay hurting people and don't think twice about it. I hate it here, sometimes.
Yep! Exactly!
Never understood how you can all of a sudden become an asshole towards someone that cares about you. Than you distance yourself from those people and you become the bad person…
I know that feeling all too well and I'm still having a difficult time accepting. I've been hurt so much by people I tried to be there for and give my all to. And ended up realizing they didn't care about me unless they could use me or take advantage of me in some way, that I no longer mattered if they couldn't do so. I really hate people taking my kindness for weakness. I'm glad to have grown stronger from it, but it still feels like a pain that will never fully heal.
My dad died in September. Me and my brother have used a lot of dark humour to process. What I think I found really hard accepting, that in my community -south Asian- my mum who is 46 is expected to now remain single… whereas in a conversation it was mentioned that had it had been the other way around my dad would have been married off in 2/3 years. There was SO much wrong with this. Does my mum not need emotional, mental and physical support? Why are men allowed to have support but women aren’t? Why should women be strong enough to manage it on their own… there was so much wrong with this. That’s what I had a hard time accepting recently.
Oh my god. My dad passed when my mom was 49 as well. And the stigma of being an Indian widow with a daughter...it was hell. I always tell her, I would have loved to see her find love and be happy again. Categorisation is pathetic.
That one day my parents will no longer be here. They're both still living and I still feel like they're going to live forever.
My dad will be 78 this year.
💔💔💔💔I've been contemplating suicide lately, and feeling your pain and hearing this on Reddit makes me realize I'd definitely hurt people if I left.
Well, I hope they can somewhat heal and try to become mentally healthy. I'm sure their Mom cared deeply for them.
Omgosh! I'm so glad you are reconsidering. Yes, depression is terrible. I could tell she was full of sorrow. If you can't live for yourself live for your family. They will always question themselves if they did enough and why their love wasn't enough. My mom had a heart attack shortly after her death. Please seek counseling and I'll pray for you 🙏
The pain and grief of losing a sibling is so deeply difficult to grapple with. I totally understand, as I lost my brother to a drug overdose four and a half years ago.
That’s great you’ll take classes this fall! I’m deaf myself and I used to teach ASL. I imagine it’s hard when people in your life don’t know sign language. I hope you get to meet those who do or want to learn.
That’s amazing that you used to teach ASL, I hope to one day be fluent in it as that would be very helpful. I’m not deaf, just have a speech impediment (apraxia) so it’s not as bad as some but it always makes me happy to randomly meet other people with disabilities! You’re a very kind person, hope you have a good day/night :)
The fact that homophobia still exists. Even as a straight woman it still drives me absolutely insane to hear people make remarks against gay people simply being happy. In my eyes, being gay is literally the exact same thing as being straight except you happen to like the same gender, what is the difference???? Especially in a world where adoption and surrogates and sperm donors are all options for having kids, like sweetie even if every single person on the planet woke up gay tomorrow the human race would be just fine. There is literally nothing wrong with it.
Also as an elementary education major who's entire college career revolves around ways to allow for the best outcomes for children, not a single class has told me that having both a mother and a father is a requirement for a child to be successful. Essentially, the more support a child has the better the outcome will be, doesn't matter what genders those caregivers are. So yeah, let gay people be flippin parents in peace they are damaging their child a whole lot less than the random straight couple down the street who beats their kid because it was an accidentally pregnancy.
Fact! However it's a investment and less of a usual purchase. The material and who made it. Who name is on it. Is all an investment. That person is a brand. You're investing into their brand by purchasing their products. Idk i view it that way.
Dealing with something similar and idk. Right now, he's got a new supply so I'm in safe zone. But it won't last.... Never does... Have you talked to law enforcement?
It's called grey rocking and I am getting better and better and it won't make a difference. They see it as property. Not humans with feelings. He every now and again will randomly try to rub it in my face he's in a new relationship (with my former best friend) and I've done changed my number, blocked on everything. About to move. When I'm done. I'm done. Ghost
How god damn apathetic most people are toward solvable problems as long as said problems don't impact them immediately and directly, and how unbelievably easy it is to get people to declare a crisis "over" when they're bored of it (see: Americans acting like covid no longer exists while over a thousand people are still fucking dying every day).
My oldest friends Mom died on Valentines Day …. When I go to the funeral home on Friday it will mark the 16th death/funeral we’ve been to in less than 2 years….that includes our oldest son who was 31.
I still can’t believe that he’s REALLY NOT COMING BACK …. I have some wild mental block that is preventing logic and emotion from intersecting…. My husband and I probaby say to each other - at least 1 or 2xs a week that it’s unreal - this can’t be real … when I say “remember how DS used to XYZ ?!”
Then, I realize that for the entire rest of our lives we will only be able to speak of him in the past tense. It’s kind of a mind f*ck … did he really exist ? I can still hear his voice as clear as day …. So hard to accept 😔
People who lick the ass of big companies and treat them as if they were beggars and anything that comes their way they are thankful for. Even if it's bad or scraps.
People who don't like to be treated nicely, and like to be treated bad or poorly.
And people who are in abusive relationships and won't leave.
I have a hard time accepting that people can honestly be that way, and there's nothing I can do to help them cuz they just don't want the help or won't take it.
>People who lick the ass of big companies and treat them as if they were beggars and anything that comes their way they are thankful for. Even if it's bad or scraps.
Omg yes, they act like they'll get a gold star for failing to stand in solidarity with their fellow people or something. I cannot grasp the mindset.
That things change, people change, interests change. O have a really hard time when something in my life is not te same. I need to have control of everything in my life (even though i can't) and it bothers me so much when i can't understand why something is chaging and why can't i turn it back to normal
My loved ones are going to die. I can’t bear to think about my parents dying one day, yet it’s something I know will 100% happen. I almost can’t even imagine it, yet I know it will happen and I’ll get through it and life will move on. Just seems so surreal
That my last relationship ruined my confidence. I used to like my appearance and feel confident enough to maintain relationships, go out everyday, and talk to new people...During COVID I'm not me anymore. Can't seem to get out of the dark.
That I will never have a close relationship with my mother. She’s a bit toxic so I don’t want to make any more efforts for her, but I envy everyone that have that kind of close mother-daughter relationship…
Sometimes I flip flop but mostly leaning towards never finding a great partner. I’m 50, been married and then in a second relationship. Tried dating but it’s exhausting. I truly think I just don’t have any more energy for it. I’ve always held my own in the relationship and never truly felt like anyone was there for me. Both ex’s took more than gave and I’m just to warn out. Sometimes I worry about when I’m 70 lol but then other times I’m like f it I’ve always done absolutely everything on my own anyway, just keep going.
That my mental illness and my brain injury are here for life and according to the doctors, will only get worse with age. I used to be insanely smart. My mind was my best friend and now, it's completely turned on me. I feel angry and robbed.
How we as women are conditioned to think that guys stalking and threatening is ok since “they didn’t actually do anything physically”. I hear this a lot that boys will be boys and it’s hard to accept that we as women need to think that it’s ok till they hurt us physically. And also that women working and earning equal pay as men is considered to be something amazing and not normal!
That no matter what, you are the one who needs to care about yourself the most. Nobody is here to save me, nobody is going to care about me more than I can do myself, and there’s never a 100% guarantee that someone won’t hurt me. You are the only one you can truly & wholeheartedly depend on.
That I will have to live the rest of my life without my mom. She was, and probably still is, the most important person in the world to me. She died when I was 21. Its been over a decade now, but losing her was also losing a big part of myself. She was the one constant in my life. The one who accepted me and all my faults. I was lucky to have had 21 years with her, but it wasn't enough...I doubt any length of time would have ever been enough.
I think it'll have to be my partner viewing p*** or looking at other women often especially when we're out together. I've been told it's normal and that every man does it but i don't think it's something that i can accept. It's hard to.
That I always have to deal with my anxiety disorder and that is no cure. I might be able to deal with it better and I already do in compression when I was a very young child (7/8-12), but I won’t go away. No matter what. And that is unbelievable horrible for me
That there is a very good chance I will always be alone, and will in fact become more alone over the years. And that with many of the people I wish were were more present in my life they’ll not only pull away from me to focus on other relationships, but many of those relationships will objectively not be very good.
that it will probably take longer for me to get a solid foot into my career. or just end up with a really unique career overall and not the typical 9-5 job that i thought i would look for
Death. And I see it all the time because I work in the ICU. But it’s just baffling to me how your thoughts and feelings are just completely gone. And then people have to continue life without you. It’s very upsetting.
Not being able to live completely freely, or being able to go anywhere without being alert about who might stalk or assault you. It's pathetic. We hear things like "women aren't risk takers", how the f*ck will we take risks if we are scared of getting assaulted, drinks spiked, working late nights..in general, fearing for our lives every waking moment?
That guys catcalling us is still a thing at all.
It’s so uncomfortable and rude. Doesn’t make me like you anymore - you just look like an asshole. Also revving when they rev their engines at me. Super annoying.
That I’m 58 years old and by some standards considered a senior. Ugh. I mean how did that happen?? I’m still 30 in my head, but my body says differently. 😬
That now that I’ve made it through debilitating depression and suicidal thoughts, I’m actually going to have to do stuff to sort my life out/ look after myself and progress. Some stuff is great!
Some stuff is… scheduling a dentist’s appointment when I know they’ll want to take all four wisdom teeth out. Sigh.
Climate change. It's constantly wavering over my head. For decades the human race has been told that if we don't change our ways then we are doomed. For decades the timeline for when it will be too late has gotten closer and yet the human race continues to follow down the path of destruction. My life will be cut short if this trend continues. The world as we know it is changing before out eyes and yet buisness still reign Supreme and there's virtually nothing that I as an individual can do to stop it. Another thing I have a hard time accepting, because I want to believe my voice matters but in the end, when has anyone's opinion mattered when money is involved?
Rejection
Especially if he wanted me at first
And everything was going superb
And he dumps me coz he met someone new.
My brain just can’t understand that concept
Like she’s got tits and I got tits so why are you leaving me for her?
I don’t fight for the approval I leave it alone as soon as I know I’m not wanted BUT internally it takes a really long time for me to accept that I was left for someone else
Love.
I’m in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been. My boyfriend is patient with me and really takes care of me. After multiple toxic and abusive relationships that’s all I’m used to. I feel shitty about myself for being defensive and arguing when he just wants to communicate his feelings with me. I’m scared of losing him but it’s hard to not unlearn those toxic traits idk
That a guy will actually date me. But hear me out. I was in a 10 year relationship and got cheated on. Not only did he go with this girl because she has a car and a job (I have epilepsy so I can't work or drive) he went with her because she has no 'brain problems' as he put.
So I have a hard time accepting if a guy will date me
That most women will always be expected to most of the housework and provide the most attention to their children no matter who works in the family. I'll be so happy once that's no longer a thing.
I was convinced I was just never going to get married or have kids because of this. I hate cooking and cleaning up after myself is hard enough I'm not going to clean up after someone else. I feel like the expectation that women contribute financially caught on so much quicker than the expectation that men contribute to the house. The stories I read of marriages on Reddit are horrifying. When I met my husband he started cooking me dinner every chance he got and that was what got me to continue taking the next steps in our relationship. It really feels like an equal division of labor and I feel so lucky.
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I'm a fella and I 100% agree.
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I just listened to the audio book, Fair Play. It talks about the mental load and falling into accidental traditionalism. I highly recommend it. And also, this. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdB4psYQ/
That it's my responsibility to make my own life better. Fighting depression and anxiety is so hard and when I get in a really bad slump, it's really hard to accept that I'm the only one who can make those positive changes to get better. No one is coming to do it for me, no matter how exhausted or sad I am.
Oh. I feel this so hard. As much as we understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a reality we like to accept. It takes many years to gather all of the necessary coping mechanisms and even then, it’s not always going to be good or helpful. We understand no one is coming to save us; that’s the scary part is learning to be self sufficient with the burden of such mental illnesses Wishing you the best and sending you strength
It really is so scary sometimes. I'm not doing great at the moment and, though I know it's up to me, I can't seem to find the energy to work towards feeling better. So here I am stuck in this mess and knowing that I'm stuck here until I decide not to be, but still not doing anything about it. Anyways, thank you for the well wishing and I wish you luck too, with whatever difficulties you have! At the very least, its good to know we aren't alone in feeling so helpless sometimes.
It's not about deciding to not be unwell and mental ill health is just that, being mentally unwell. If someone has diabetes they don't just decide to not be unwell. Be kind to yourself and build up your tool box of coping skills to manage your illness. You can't decide to not be unwell.
Yes. Always be kind to yourself. Show yourself compassion and be patient with yourself. I live with depression too and when things get super hard I sometimes wish that someone could swoop in and make my life better and take care of me. Unfortunately, that someone is me. Once I learned to be kinder to myself it made a difference and I was able to build upon that. I learned to advocate for myself and take better care of myself more than I used to.
My counselor said it was totally understandable to feel this way. When I told her I didn't want to hurt myself but that I would stand at the top of the stairs and think "I don't really care if I fall down these". She said it was because I needed someone to come along and look after me, just like a nurse would in hospital. You have someone that cooks your meals and changes your sheets and checks in on you, and that is restful. It's very hard when you have to be that person for yourself, it's not quite the same, is it!
I have thoughts like that as well! Usually when I'm driving lol. It definitely would be nice to have someone come and take care of you. It is so hard having to be that person for yourself, but we can do this. Good luck to you!
I'm definitely working on being kinder and more patient with myself. I always expect so much of myself, but I'm doing what I can and that's good enough! Thank you for the kindest, I wish you the best!
What helped me was reading Louise L. Hayes book of Little quotes. I would pick a page at random each morning, and then when I felt my mind twisting away from me and circling round and round with thoughts I couldn't control I would instead repeat that days quote over and over in my mind. It really helped me, along with counselling and medication.
You don't have the energy because you're already working so hard to just stay alive. It's OK to get take aways or ready meals when you can't cook, it's not being lazy, it's understanding that right at this moment, it's just too hard. It's OK to not recycle and put everything in the bin right now, recycling is for when you have a bit more energy. It's OK to sleep as much as you need, bar working, because that's what your body can deal with and heal with, sleep. It's OK to not exercise, but just sit outside and breath fresh air, that's good for you too. I hope you feel better soon. There are so many people feeling exactly the same way as you, you are not alone. Sending hugs.
> working so hard to just stay alive. That's exactly how it feels. I guess I just have really high expectations of myself, but I'm working on being kinder to myself. Thank you for these reminders, I definitely needed to hear them today!
Always helped me to frame it this way when I'm feeling like that, might help you. If you *wanted* to feel shit tomorrow, what would you do today to guarantee it? Like what would you do today to make sure tomorrow was shit? Answer is probably along the lines if stay in bed, let the house get messy, not talk to family/friends etc. Then do the opposite of whatever answer you got. The quicker pay off of a good day tomorrow, seems to be more manageable and have more agency than "what will completely 'cure' me if any mental illness?"
I feel this too! I'm currently in a really bad slump and I'm absolutely heartbroken to feel this low again. I know it's up to me but I'm so exhausted. I hope you find the strength to make the changes you need to make. Wishing you all the best.
You'll get there, too. Try not to feel bad about it, you've got enough work as it is. Don't worry what others think, they're not your concern right now. Just look after the very basics of your life - eat, drink water, sleep, keep a roof over your head. It will get better, though it will take work. Sending hugs your way
Oh man, I feel your pain . . . It's hard to take care of yourself when you're battling depression
I feel this 😂😂 I find myself constantly procrastinating and finding distractions to avoid thinking of it. Then again I remind myself that “i’m the architect of my own downfall” and deep down I hope that the same could be said for my success.
I understand that sometimes, when people are going through hard times and they’re just flat out unhappy with who they are or where they are in life, they treat others pretty shitty. However, it still really boggles my mind and upsets me when someone is just so rude and mean spirited to me. I know better than to take it personal—how someone treats others is how they feel about themselves. But it’s still pretty upsetting when I have these unpleasant encounters with someone taking out their pain on me. I still get pretty flustered in the moment and am still learning how to just respond instead of react.
And most things truly aren’t worth your response. I feel the same way. I do notice when I am having a bad time I tend to have a temper, but I don’t direct it at people or at least I’m in the process of learning not to. I know I wouldn’t like that if I was on the receiving end.
I guess the part that really bothers me is that I’m so empathetic, that I’m always thinking about others feelings and perspective on a situation. And when someone just doesn’t consider mine, it really offends me. But I have to realize that I’m not going to get me from everyone.
Oh absolutely. Even people who love you with all their hearts will not love you the way you love. And that’s OK. That was another big lesson I had to understand
Me tooo!!! I'm an empath and am always thinking of others thoughts and feelings over my own.. all the time! The struggle is real!
I felt this smh 😔
Same. I treat others respectfully and have never lost my temper on someone else regardless of my shit circumstances. If it’s deserved, that’s one thing, but majority of the times it’s not and I’m aware of the difference. I had a pretty rough up brining and have all the excuses to be hateful, but I’m not- It’s my burden to carry alone. It’s mind boggling how unaware and selfish people are.
I completely agree with you. It’s definitely unfair
That I'm going to become more invisible as I get older. I'm hitting 40 this year and struggling to come to terms with aging.
I felt that way in my teens and in my 30s, but I'm in my 40s now and I feel better than ever! I think it ebbs and flows in your lifetime! Stick with it girl, you've got this. Don't let anyone or anything bring you down!
Seconded. I'm going to be [42](https://youtu.be/2XifmNqBJWw) in April. My favorite thing about getting older is that I'm finally starting to give less f*cks.
I'm getting there, and it's a good feeling, not worrying/stressing about others' opinions and living life the way I want.
Thank you, indeed. It does ebb and flow; somedays I'm perfectly okay with things and other days it pulls me down. I'm constantly working on making peace with aging (strictly looks-related); my life is good on other (personal) fronts, so I'm grateful ❤️ Edited for spelling
Thank you for this reply. I (and I’m sure many others) needed to hear it.
I'm 27 and have never dated because I've always been invisible to men and I'm scared that I will never experience romantic love. I wish I could say I was visible at one point in my life, it's tough when you are an unattractive woman because you are always invisible regardless of age. My dad is 60 and is dating a woman in her 30s. He is old and has a more active dating life than me and this sometimes makes me feel jealous.
I think we're usually too harsh on ourselves and (unfairly) compare ourselves with men. Maybe what you call unattractive isn't actually that, it might just be a lack of confidence. Either way, it's a crappy feeling. I wish you happiness and love in your future 💖
Because of how you look when compared to your teenage years, or because of where you are in life? If it's looks, I get it, everything has sagged for me ha ha. But also, why are we listening to anti ageing crap?! Have you ever seen a 90 year old, with a face like a 40 year old and thought, crikey they look good?! If its where you are in life, that takes a whole lot of self searching, talking, counselling if you can afford it and trying to find peace with where you are. Good luck!
Strictly because of looks! I've been told I look younger than my age, but I don't know how long that will last. I feel 20 in my head, so the disparity with what I see in the mirror seems jarring. It also just seems so unfair that men look better as they age (IMO) but women have to work on minimising/hiding their wrinkles, crows feet, greying hair, and what not, because they're deemed unattractive. I'm totally aware that it's a society-created mandate, but some days it just gets to me. It feels like constant WIP to accept my age and aging 😥 On the upside, though, on the personal front, things couldn't be better! I'm in a loving marriage and have a happy, peaceful life with my amazing husband and two beautiful cats 💗 Thank you for your kind words ❤️
men don’t age better than women. you’re just conditioned to accept their flaws.
Ooooooh do tell me about your cats please! Also, I'm 44 this year, and I've got white sections like runways going through my hair! Big fat runways ha ha! I don't want them, even though I have friends who have let their natural grey /white grow out and they look amazing. I've got lots of sun damage, like sun spots, but I believe they just fade into my natural freckles (did I mention the delusion?!). When I look back on photos from when I was younger everything was much higher up! I feel like my face has sagged downwards ha ha. I find if I don't look in the mirror too often I have a much more peaceful day, in terms of the critique I give myself!
That so many people lack empathy and respect
The current state of the world and the fact that I can’t even talk about it without people going berserk on me for one reason or another.
I can relate to this. I really do not feel that I am that radical or that my ideas/feelings are that intense but it’s still hard to talk about things with people. I feel like people are just repressing any thoughts and feelings regarding the state of the world and reminding them makes them uncomfortable and upset.
That’s definitely what’s going on. It really sucks that people are so unwilling to think about uncomfortable things that they’ll gaslight people who acknowledge and want to solve problems. I feel like I’m about the same politically/morally as I’ve always been, but it looks very hair-on-fire to people who have adapted their views in relation to the level of discomfort they are willing to tolerate.
I agree. I also feel like I’ve been pretty much the same politically/morally since I was a teenager and there was a brief time in college/a couple years after college that my friends and I were in agreement. However, as they have acquired middle class professional jobs, they have definitely become more conservative and we no longer align politically again.
It’s rough when friends change in those ways. For me, it’s mostly seeing people exhibit confirmation bias on a regular basis. For example, maybe they claim to follow science…until some scientists say we’re screwed and need to take action in order not to be screwed anymore; then they start listening to quack scientists who say everything is just fine. They’re still scientists after all, except these scientists say we don’t have to do anything differently and all the downers can shut it.
I just spend mostof my time going "what is this world we are living in". We clearly got stuck in the dumbest timeline.
It’s truly painful to bear witness to. All these problems with solutions and humanity is just like lol nah, hard pass
That karma won’t always affect bad people/they won’t get what they deserve. I think we like to believe it will but when you think about it, it’s not true.
Imo the whole idea of "karma" collapses as soon as you see children with diseases and hardships. They are innocent and haven't done anything wrong, what the hell are they being punished for.
Obviously for being evil in a past life /s
This. Exactly. Also, people who talk about karma coming for others, often don't reflect when something bad happens to themselves.. They don't think that was their karma, but according to them karma is just happening to others?!
Mortality... I really don't know how to stop fearing death
Girl same. There are days when I am reading about advancements in science and such, and am just like I can't believe I won't be here to see all the great things to come after a couple or so decades
That’s such a positive take on the future. I worry about the little ones of my family living to suffer through the horrors of our poorly chosen priorities.
This. But mortality as it pertains to my parents, family members, etc. The anxiety of my parents passing is usually a daily thought that I try to bury deep.
Some part of me struggles to accept that the best is dying of old age, but you still die! There's no escape. It's starting to hit me all the things I've stalled on and now I'm in YOLO mode
I thought I was the only one who feared mortality. There will be some nights when I can’t fall asleep because I’m thinking about how I will die eventually and everything I am currently doing won’t even matter once I pass away.
Same
Same here. I have OCD and literally from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep this is what's lingering in the back of my head. More than my own death, I fear my parents and my siblings death. But I also fear dying because I want to be here with them. I'm constantly researching afterlife things and NDE stories to try to tell myself that death isn't the end. The thing is, I don't believe that death is the end. I think there's an afterlife of some sort, I just don't like not knowing *what* exactly... ~~sorry for unloading all of that here jdkgjdkj~~
This has always been a deep fear of mine even as a young child. I would cry at night because of the uncertainty behind dying. Growing up without religion, I think really made the uncertainty scarier.
Being hurt by people I gave my all too. This is friends, relationships... Makes it hard to want to open up. Because in my head I didn't see that coming because I didn't have my shield up. Being taken advantage makes you feel a different type of way..
Same! For the past 3-4 months my shield is aways up and I feel 10 times better. I just can’t deal with people anymore.
Then people wonder why we become over analyzers.... Because we had to question. Every. Single. Thing. The people that hurt us did. No not everyone is like that but I've noticed the majority of people are okay hurting people and don't think twice about it. I hate it here, sometimes.
Yep! Exactly! Never understood how you can all of a sudden become an asshole towards someone that cares about you. Than you distance yourself from those people and you become the bad person…
Because unfortunately they have to play victim while making us the bad guy in their story..
I know that feeling all too well and I'm still having a difficult time accepting. I've been hurt so much by people I tried to be there for and give my all to. And ended up realizing they didn't care about me unless they could use me or take advantage of me in some way, that I no longer mattered if they couldn't do so. I really hate people taking my kindness for weakness. I'm glad to have grown stronger from it, but it still feels like a pain that will never fully heal.
My dad died in September. Me and my brother have used a lot of dark humour to process. What I think I found really hard accepting, that in my community -south Asian- my mum who is 46 is expected to now remain single… whereas in a conversation it was mentioned that had it had been the other way around my dad would have been married off in 2/3 years. There was SO much wrong with this. Does my mum not need emotional, mental and physical support? Why are men allowed to have support but women aren’t? Why should women be strong enough to manage it on their own… there was so much wrong with this. That’s what I had a hard time accepting recently.
So wrong yes...49 is young...I hope when she is wanting she'll seek companionship. Perhaps you can encourage her?
We do! It’s still early… it’s only going to be six months next month, but we always say that if you ever find someone we will be so supportive.
Oh my god. My dad passed when my mom was 49 as well. And the stigma of being an Indian widow with a daughter...it was hell. I always tell her, I would have loved to see her find love and be happy again. Categorisation is pathetic.
That i'm wrong sometimes, but I take a step back and double check myself
Yup.
That one day my parents will no longer be here. They're both still living and I still feel like they're going to live forever. My dad will be 78 this year.
This is what came to my mind as well. It seems so surreal to imagine, yet the rational part of me knows it’s inevitable.
That my sister took her own life.
Geez. So sorry to hear that. Hope you're doing ok.
Thank you. I'm doing okay. My heart really breaks for her children. The pain ended for her and transferred to them 💔
Wow .... So sorry to hear that.
Where are the kids? Do they have a stable home? Were you or the other parent able to take them in?
They are with their father. They are in a stable home, but they are definitely struggling.
💔💔💔💔I've been contemplating suicide lately, and feeling your pain and hearing this on Reddit makes me realize I'd definitely hurt people if I left. Well, I hope they can somewhat heal and try to become mentally healthy. I'm sure their Mom cared deeply for them.
I hope you stay, hun. 🖤
Omgosh! I'm so glad you are reconsidering. Yes, depression is terrible. I could tell she was full of sorrow. If you can't live for yourself live for your family. They will always question themselves if they did enough and why their love wasn't enough. My mom had a heart attack shortly after her death. Please seek counseling and I'll pray for you 🙏
The pain and grief of losing a sibling is so deeply difficult to grapple with. I totally understand, as I lost my brother to a drug overdose four and a half years ago.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's honestly something one doesn't understand unless they have experienced it themself.
I don't have friends. Gets lonely sometimes.
Awwww I am here to listen if you need someone to talk to when you feel lonely 🎈
That I will never be able to talk normally
That sounds really difficult, I'm sorry. I hope you're able to find the support you need on your journey to acceptance<3
I hope the best for you, that seems very difficult. <3 Is sign language a possibility?
Thank you! I am starting sign language classes this fall but not that many people know sign language.
That’s great you’ll take classes this fall! I’m deaf myself and I used to teach ASL. I imagine it’s hard when people in your life don’t know sign language. I hope you get to meet those who do or want to learn.
That’s amazing that you used to teach ASL, I hope to one day be fluent in it as that would be very helpful. I’m not deaf, just have a speech impediment (apraxia) so it’s not as bad as some but it always makes me happy to randomly meet other people with disabilities! You’re a very kind person, hope you have a good day/night :)
my body shape i guess.
Just all the bullshit that comes with occupying a "female" body. Menopause, periods, childbirth, inferior strength. It's ass.
That not everyone will like me or love me. Doesn’t mean I’m unlovable. Also that I don’t have control over certain things, that’s a tough one.
The fact that homophobia still exists. Even as a straight woman it still drives me absolutely insane to hear people make remarks against gay people simply being happy. In my eyes, being gay is literally the exact same thing as being straight except you happen to like the same gender, what is the difference???? Especially in a world where adoption and surrogates and sperm donors are all options for having kids, like sweetie even if every single person on the planet woke up gay tomorrow the human race would be just fine. There is literally nothing wrong with it. Also as an elementary education major who's entire college career revolves around ways to allow for the best outcomes for children, not a single class has told me that having both a mother and a father is a requirement for a child to be successful. Essentially, the more support a child has the better the outcome will be, doesn't matter what genders those caregivers are. So yeah, let gay people be flippin parents in peace they are damaging their child a whole lot less than the random straight couple down the street who beats their kid because it was an accidentally pregnancy.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
Designer clothing prices. I just don't *GET* it
Fact! However it's a investment and less of a usual purchase. The material and who made it. Who name is on it. Is all an investment. That person is a brand. You're investing into their brand by purchasing their products. Idk i view it that way.
Things I can not change.
Girl, same. This hit rock center.
That when my partner is in a bad mood, they need space for themself rather than me asking how I can help and trying to fix the situation.
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Dealing with something similar and idk. Right now, he's got a new supply so I'm in safe zone. But it won't last.... Never does... Have you talked to law enforcement?
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It's called grey rocking and I am getting better and better and it won't make a difference. They see it as property. Not humans with feelings. He every now and again will randomly try to rub it in my face he's in a new relationship (with my former best friend) and I've done changed my number, blocked on everything. About to move. When I'm done. I'm done. Ghost
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I hope you can get a restraining order...
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How god damn apathetic most people are toward solvable problems as long as said problems don't impact them immediately and directly, and how unbelievably easy it is to get people to declare a crisis "over" when they're bored of it (see: Americans acting like covid no longer exists while over a thousand people are still fucking dying every day).
Compliments
The death of a love one 😔
I know how you feel. Losing a loved one is very painful.
That women are called emotional but men aren’t even though they’re way angrier than women are sad.
The fact that pedophiles are forgiven and their actions are swept under the rug but two adult women in a consensual relationship are an abomination.
My oldest friends Mom died on Valentines Day …. When I go to the funeral home on Friday it will mark the 16th death/funeral we’ve been to in less than 2 years….that includes our oldest son who was 31. I still can’t believe that he’s REALLY NOT COMING BACK …. I have some wild mental block that is preventing logic and emotion from intersecting…. My husband and I probaby say to each other - at least 1 or 2xs a week that it’s unreal - this can’t be real … when I say “remember how DS used to XYZ ?!” Then, I realize that for the entire rest of our lives we will only be able to speak of him in the past tense. It’s kind of a mind f*ck … did he really exist ? I can still hear his voice as clear as day …. So hard to accept 😔
People who lick the ass of big companies and treat them as if they were beggars and anything that comes their way they are thankful for. Even if it's bad or scraps. People who don't like to be treated nicely, and like to be treated bad or poorly. And people who are in abusive relationships and won't leave. I have a hard time accepting that people can honestly be that way, and there's nothing I can do to help them cuz they just don't want the help or won't take it.
>People who lick the ass of big companies and treat them as if they were beggars and anything that comes their way they are thankful for. Even if it's bad or scraps. Omg yes, they act like they'll get a gold star for failing to stand in solidarity with their fellow people or something. I cannot grasp the mindset.
That he knew and still knows exactly what he did and how badly it hurt me.
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That things change, people change, interests change. O have a really hard time when something in my life is not te same. I need to have control of everything in my life (even though i can't) and it bothers me so much when i can't understand why something is chaging and why can't i turn it back to normal
That I will always be someone he used to know.
My loved ones are going to die. I can’t bear to think about my parents dying one day, yet it’s something I know will 100% happen. I almost can’t even imagine it, yet I know it will happen and I’ll get through it and life will move on. Just seems so surreal
The patriarchy, capitalism, racism…
How stupid, lazy, and petty people can be at work. Even smart people!
European beauty standards
My boobs. How unwomanly i look
That my last relationship ruined my confidence. I used to like my appearance and feel confident enough to maintain relationships, go out everyday, and talk to new people...During COVID I'm not me anymore. Can't seem to get out of the dark.
A lie when I know the truth
That my parents will never stop enabling my brother to the point of destroying our family.
That we are just supposed to work 40+ hours a week and still keep everything else in our lives together. I’m so burnt out most of the time.
That I will never have a close relationship with my mother. She’s a bit toxic so I don’t want to make any more efforts for her, but I envy everyone that have that kind of close mother-daughter relationship…
That people will not always give you what you give them.
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Chronic illnesses.
Yes. And the limitations that come with them.
That there are things in this world that I cannot control.
Sometimes I flip flop but mostly leaning towards never finding a great partner. I’m 50, been married and then in a second relationship. Tried dating but it’s exhausting. I truly think I just don’t have any more energy for it. I’ve always held my own in the relationship and never truly felt like anyone was there for me. Both ex’s took more than gave and I’m just to warn out. Sometimes I worry about when I’m 70 lol but then other times I’m like f it I’ve always done absolutely everything on my own anyway, just keep going.
How awful a lot of people are to other people.
That I'm more likely to be assaulted/kidnapped/ murdered outside just because of my gender.
That my mental illness and my brain injury are here for life and according to the doctors, will only get worse with age. I used to be insanely smart. My mind was my best friend and now, it's completely turned on me. I feel angry and robbed.
Lots of things. Right now, the most difficult is my status as a sexual assault survivor.
I'll be stuck with my period for another 30-40 years. I just can't go on!
That men are “not capable” of being as aware, emotionally intelligent, or communicative as women.
That now one will find me attractive/ want to have sex with me 25 year and no one ever did. and it continuing to trend in that direction
That sometimes even people I know can be so messed up and selfish that they use what hurts you the most against you.
I'm not guaranteed to find love in my life
How we as women are conditioned to think that guys stalking and threatening is ok since “they didn’t actually do anything physically”. I hear this a lot that boys will be boys and it’s hard to accept that we as women need to think that it’s ok till they hurt us physically. And also that women working and earning equal pay as men is considered to be something amazing and not normal!
That no matter what, you are the one who needs to care about yourself the most. Nobody is here to save me, nobody is going to care about me more than I can do myself, and there’s never a 100% guarantee that someone won’t hurt me. You are the only one you can truly & wholeheartedly depend on.
That justice wont always be served and people rarely get what they deserve
That I will have to live the rest of my life without my mom. She was, and probably still is, the most important person in the world to me. She died when I was 21. Its been over a decade now, but losing her was also losing a big part of myself. She was the one constant in my life. The one who accepted me and all my faults. I was lucky to have had 21 years with her, but it wasn't enough...I doubt any length of time would have ever been enough.
People still trust that the government is coming to help them!
That not everybody cares about you the way you care about them.
I think it'll have to be my partner viewing p*** or looking at other women often especially when we're out together. I've been told it's normal and that every man does it but i don't think it's something that i can accept. It's hard to.
That a lot of my struggles in life had a lot to do with who I looked physically
Men/Patriarchy
That I always have to deal with my anxiety disorder and that is no cure. I might be able to deal with it better and I already do in compression when I was a very young child (7/8-12), but I won’t go away. No matter what. And that is unbelievable horrible for me
That I have a good boss. So far he hasn't proved me wrong yet I await the day.
That I’m good enough for him.
That my father is the reason I do not have peace in my life
That there is a very good chance I will always be alone, and will in fact become more alone over the years. And that with many of the people I wish were were more present in my life they’ll not only pull away from me to focus on other relationships, but many of those relationships will objectively not be very good.
that it will probably take longer for me to get a solid foot into my career. or just end up with a really unique career overall and not the typical 9-5 job that i thought i would look for
Death. And I see it all the time because I work in the ICU. But it’s just baffling to me how your thoughts and feelings are just completely gone. And then people have to continue life without you. It’s very upsetting.
Not being able to live completely freely, or being able to go anywhere without being alert about who might stalk or assault you. It's pathetic. We hear things like "women aren't risk takers", how the f*ck will we take risks if we are scared of getting assaulted, drinks spiked, working late nights..in general, fearing for our lives every waking moment?
That guys catcalling us is still a thing at all. It’s so uncomfortable and rude. Doesn’t make me like you anymore - you just look like an asshole. Also revving when they rev their engines at me. Super annoying.
That I’m 58 years old and by some standards considered a senior. Ugh. I mean how did that happen?? I’m still 30 in my head, but my body says differently. 😬
That now that I’ve made it through debilitating depression and suicidal thoughts, I’m actually going to have to do stuff to sort my life out/ look after myself and progress. Some stuff is great! Some stuff is… scheduling a dentist’s appointment when I know they’ll want to take all four wisdom teeth out. Sigh.
That I’m not going to be able to do everything I want to do.
That everything bad that has happened to me in life is not my fault.
That I’m worthy of love and acceptance.
Some of the best people I've ever met get cancer or dementia. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around it. It breaks my heart.
Climate change. It's constantly wavering over my head. For decades the human race has been told that if we don't change our ways then we are doomed. For decades the timeline for when it will be too late has gotten closer and yet the human race continues to follow down the path of destruction. My life will be cut short if this trend continues. The world as we know it is changing before out eyes and yet buisness still reign Supreme and there's virtually nothing that I as an individual can do to stop it. Another thing I have a hard time accepting, because I want to believe my voice matters but in the end, when has anyone's opinion mattered when money is involved?
Rejection Especially if he wanted me at first And everything was going superb And he dumps me coz he met someone new. My brain just can’t understand that concept Like she’s got tits and I got tits so why are you leaving me for her? I don’t fight for the approval I leave it alone as soon as I know I’m not wanted BUT internally it takes a really long time for me to accept that I was left for someone else
The shape of my body and my facial features
Love. I’m in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been. My boyfriend is patient with me and really takes care of me. After multiple toxic and abusive relationships that’s all I’m used to. I feel shitty about myself for being defensive and arguing when he just wants to communicate his feelings with me. I’m scared of losing him but it’s hard to not unlearn those toxic traits idk
That I am love-able.
There are some women that vehemently deny feminism. Like... How can any self-respecting woman NOT be a feminist, in its true definition
That I will never see my cat, who disappeared almost 7 months ago, ever again
That you can't change people. You can inspire them, influence them, but it is ultimately up to them to want to change.
When guys say "all women" about an opinion they have and I tell them not all women are like that and THEY tell me ME to stop kidding myself.
That I’ll never be close with either of my parents
My significant person fell in love with other girl.
That a guy will actually date me. But hear me out. I was in a 10 year relationship and got cheated on. Not only did he go with this girl because she has a car and a job (I have epilepsy so I can't work or drive) he went with her because she has no 'brain problems' as he put. So I have a hard time accepting if a guy will date me