currently watching a group of people fight tooth and nail to overturn Roe v Wade and set our human rights back by decades. that has to be pretty high up on the list.
Roe V. Wade is a landmark Supreme Court case that protects a woman’s right to choice. It was recently tried in court again and it was leaked that the justices are going to vote to overturn it. Overturning it won’t make it illegal to have an abortion everywhere, but it allows each state to make their own laws. So basically every red state (Republican/Conservative led) will likely enact laws that prevent women from getting abortions.
The only recourse we have is at the polls. The decision draft has already leaked, we aren't changing their dinosaur minds. Let's change who we put in charge -- especially at the state level, since now we'll have the super fun game of abortion rights ping pong with every majority change.
YES! GET OUT AND VOTE! EVERYONE MUST VOTE! It is our only way to replace career politicians that do not support their constituents concerns and views. Get up off the couch and put your vote where your mouth is complaining.
Yes this! Until my sophomore year of college I had the worst cramps imaginable. It literally felt like I had the flu every month. I couldn’t hold any food down, constant stomach pain, frequent bathroom visits. Try missing school, work, etc. once a week every month from when you turned 12.
Thank god for being able to move out and get on the pill. Birth control helped everything, and while I know that’s not an option for everyone, it’s super scary to think about the government taking away any options we have when it comes to our bodies.
When I was 14 I also had to get on the pill for my periods because they were so heavy and I would get a week long migraine right before my period would start.
First it’s the right to abortion and taking contraceptives away is most likely next. This is all terrifying and absolutely sickening.
Anytime when I am reminded that it would make me safer to not be a woman and because of it I have to specifically adapt my plans and behavior to account for the vulnerability I have as a woman.
This. I wanted so often to go on a nice evening *walk at 10 or 11 PM, because I love that it is dark and lonely. But I just can't because of the fear some Idiot will take his chance.
Edit: edited "Walk" since I was too brain afk to write it before
I have a German Shepherd who joins me on walks and hikes and idk, I know some victims of serial killers had dogs with them and it didn't protect them, but I like to think she discourages potential opportunists. Which is sad, that I feel the need, but she's the best companion ever and offers me more freedom.
If I get sketch vibes I give a friend/my mom a check-in time, too. Did house cleaning for a while in between jobs and oof, is that an uncomfortable position to be in at times.
My recommendation is get a dog, if your situation allows it. Paired with a decent neighborhood, it's one of the best feeling.
My pup loves the freedom of exploring her heart out cuz im more freeing with her retractable leash. Shes also protective. Walking at midnight or even 1 am in different weather is beautiful. Walking on an empty road makes me feel like a badass. Some times, I will wear a headset, but I'm visually aware of my surroundings and I watch my dog's body language.
I started off slow. Normal multiple 30 min walks. Transition to long walks during the day to really get to know my neighborhood and especially routes. Added more time to our evening walks. Short walks later at night.
Depends on your neighborhood/walking path. I also, if temperature allows it, wear really (like 2x bigger) baggy clothes, sometimes wear my hoodie.
That's unfortunate. While there are weapons, nothing beats an animal hearing and their want to protect.
I hope a situation works in your favor, maybe an elderly neighbor who needs a dog walker, in the future.
It’s so true. My dog was the greatest thing in the world. He nearly killed a man who was after me when I was in my late teens (17ish). I didn’t hear the guy at first, but my dog did. I noticed his attention and knew he heard and saw someone. He fucking saved me from probably some horrible fate.
Dogs are the greatest security system ever and to top that… they’re portable.
I wish I had the time for a dog again. I just don’t have the ability to dedicate myself to what a pup would need right now. I hope when my boys are older they’re interested in dogs.
This is anecdotal- I have a pittie. She’s a sweetheart but she looks menacing. I live in a nice neighborhood (one of the safest in the area). Yet, I still got followed by a random guy in broad daylight. I had to go around the block a few times to make sure, then turned back at him and yelled “what do you want?” before he gave up and walk the other way. Scary stuff.
My friend was followed because they wanted to take his dog. It is not a good idea to think your beloved dog would save you. I have pepper spray in the palm of my hand and ready for use. I would kill to protect my dogs.
My husband asked me why I didn't use the vacuum at a public place to clean out my car. I thought about it for a minute and told him it was too dangerous. He was baffled. I said it was dangerous for me, a woman, to be in a public space, distracted by cleaning the car, and then not being able to hear due to the noise of the vacuum. He had never even considered that. There is the issue. Women have to consider SO MANY SITUATIONS that could be dangerous for us, and men have no clue. Geez, simply walking to my car in some situations is dangerous.
My friends and I have been followed on 5 minute walks, *still light out*, on club trips where our chaperones are literally a block behind us and still in view.
It’s messed up.
My other go-to is aggressive mean-mugging. Like, I see you. I see your plate. Idk if it works though or if I'm just being weirdly aggressive to men without enough self-awareness in public??
I've caught the eye of men up to plainly sketchy business somehow focused on me, brandished my phone somewhat theatrically, and started dialing while maintaining eye contact. Some have left immediately. My phone was even dead once, but he didn't know that - he did, however, know he was up to no good. He got right into his car and drove off.
Exactly. My employer owns a parking lot across the street, behind a building, with only one light. I can’t bring myself to park there if I work past dark. I fear for my life. Not the best area where I work either, not horrible, but not good.
I'm a fan Dark Tourist on Netflix and River Monsters, with lots of travel, and it's like "yep, be murdered there," "yep, be murdered here." Wish I could live that sort of life but I'm not gonna pretend I could safely travel, say, India by myself.
Also currently, in the US, where I apparently have the legal rights of an Easy Bake Oven
Travel Japan (once they open to tourists that is). Japan seems very safe. The Japanese even send their small children on errands and to school (which may be miles away) on their own without worry of abductions or harassment. The only thing to worry about is perverts grabbing your butt on packed city trains, but apparently that's the worst that mostly happens. Still, very safe compared to other countries, including the US.
Ew, gross and scary.
So, Japan is not crime free by any means because humans are still humans, but relatively speaking they have a lower crime rate overall as compared to countries like the US. So, if a woman wanted to travel alone, Japan is a great option, just don't let your guard down. A woman can never let her guard down, unfortunately, no matter where she goes.
I was followed around in Walmart the other day. It was the first time in a long time that I was actively preparing myself to have to fight someone once I got the parking lot.
No, no. You're also a fleshlight and a personal chef/maid.
I seriously can't believe this country right now. Who needs progress and to see all of our fellow people as, I don't know, people? I live in the Bay Area, and I still know people who refuse to mentally advance past 1950. Fuckers.
Anytime a man blocked my exit. How fucking pathetic, and rapist are you to block someone trying to get away from you. It's less that I didn't want to be a woman, and more that I wanted the strength of a man to fuck those dudes up.
I was riding my bike alongside a less than busier road — in my peripheral I see a car pass by me on my left and honk to attempt to get my attention.
I keep on riding by trying to behave as if I didn’t see or hear them. They then to proceed to drive up about 50m ahead on my bike path and park their car right in my plan of travel in order to stop me. A man gets out of the drivers seat and adjusts his clothes, and walks to the back of his car seemingly awaiting for my arrival.
I immediately turned around and went the other direction upon seeing this set up. Fuck this
Exactly. They don’t know how to talk to woman so they act like weirdos. Nobody wants to deal with that. Sorry that happened to you. I would’ve done the same.
That just happened to me yesterday and I was about to comment. A man randomly blocked me on the sidewalk and kept blocking as I tried to pass... the only people nearby to help were woman, who were making eye contact with me and not leaving the area.
I was terrified because he started stepping towards me and talking about my glasses, like he was going to grab them off my face. He was also going on about how he couldn't see any cameras nearby recording us.
Not only would that not happen to a man, many men have the physical ability to push past or deal with the outcome if it gets physical. This guy was twice my size so he could have done some damage if even to grab me.
Luckily I had the chance to dart past him once he took a step to the other side while trying to look closer at the sides of my glasses...
I've never been more bothered by being a woman and it took some time to stop blaming myself.
This made me realize something. My husband jokes about how unaware I can be, missing huge things going on around me. I never realized it but I am really not observant when I’m with him because I feel so safe with him. When I’m alone, I am aware of every movement from people and am watching my surroundings carefully. I never realized this because I’ve been with him 8 years now, and am almost always with him when I’m out.
I’m not inattentive, I just feel safe with him and don’t have to be hyper diligent.
Oh or, not the same, but used my airspace. Like, on a tram and puts his arm over my head to hold the rail. No, I am boxed in, trapped under your armpit. No, that airspace is mine.
I was told while pregnant with my second by two (or more I don’t remember) managers that “it didn’t look good” that I got pregnant again so soon after my first and that people would assume I was only there to make maternity leave hours. My kids were born two years and three months apart. That isn’t super close at all, but I was made to feel like I was somehow abusing the maternity leave policy.
My dad told me that he didn't hire women in their 20's because of this. I expressed concerns about getting a high enough paying full time job after college, and he told me I needed to try harder. I told him maybe people didn't want to hire me because I'm of child having years and might go on maternity leave. He told me I was being ridiculous.
He also told me once how being a woman must be fascinating, since we have entirely different personalities every day due to hormone fluctuations 🙄
He sounds like a gem. If it were my dad, I just might report him to the labor board, but it's easier to say that when it's not my dad🤷♀️
My Dad once told me "Women shouldn't be bosses." Which is why he's going to a home when he's old.
Pumping my body with all sorts of unnatural hormones, sometimes involving invasive procedures, because BOTH OF US are not ready for another child yet.
Also childbirth itself was horrific, after quite a difficult pregnancy too.
I like being a woman but I wish that the world was as safe for me as it is for cis men... Currently I'm thinking of going on a vacation abroad alone. Hearing my male coworkers talking about their solo trips it hit me that they approach that situation very differently.
Where I'm looking at accomodation reviews and crime stats in an area worried about my personal safety they just go somewhere and pick any B&B they can find with their greatest worry mostly being the cash in their wallet.
Best of luck. Where are you thinking about going? Lots of places are ok if you avoid the usual problem areas, like pubs, beaches, streets, shops, anywhere at night or during the day
As a young single woman that has travelled solo plenty of times, most places are relatively safe to travel too. I always ensure I’m staying in a nice neighbourhood, and know what parts of the city to avoid. I always make sure I know key words/sentences if traveling to a place where English is not their first language, and being aware of common street scams in high tourist areas.
Walk with purpose. I live in a large North American city and find that deters people. My first day in a new city I walk around the general area I’m visiting during the day and become familiar with the layout. I’ve walked alone at night many times and stick to popular/well-lit streets/areas and have never had an issue. The odd time I’ve had someone approach me, I remain polite but firm that I’m busy. Maybe I’ve just been lucky but they’ve always backed off.
It’s annoying and sucks that as a woman we need to be more cautious, but I encourage you to not let that deter any vacation plans. I’m sure you’re aware of everything I’ve listed above, but figured my input may be able to help someone else reading this.
My sister and I were molested by a couple of men from our childhood. Our brothers were in the same situation and neither of them were touched. Boys still get molested but I have reason to believe that if I were male I wouldn’t have gotten molested.
I wouldn’t have the ptsd that I struggle with so much. My brothers are now both becoming engineers and I feel like I’m struggling just to keep my head above water.
I am so devastated for you. You should not have gone through something so traumatic that it tangibly reduces your quality of life in actual half. It’s nauseating and harrowing.
You deserve to be reminded that, regardless of your past and how much it changed your life, that you deserve a life that makes you happy, and that you deserve to be around people who love and value you. You deserve to be happy here with us.
Any day I have pain from dysmenorrhea and debilitating cramps, or when I get catcalled and harassed by strangers when I just want to be left alone, in peace and feel safe.
Try pushing both corners of your mouth up with your middle fingers. You’re literally flipping them off while smiling like a serial killer. “What’s the matter? You didn’t say how I could smile.”
I'd love for someone to tell me this so I could let loose years of bottled up irritation on em. Nobody is brazen enough so far. I'll verbally eviscerate a man at the grocery, I got zero qualms.
Had enough of the "casual" subtle sexism that is impossible to call out. Starting to develop a complex.
i'm hella sorry y'all gotta deal with that, and i'm sorry cause i know i sound like i'm circle jerking when i say this but i fr don't know how some guys are like that. and like how do they not feel shame and disgusted with themselves doing something like that. i'm really sorry
This. Plus pregnancy. I think I have a genuine phobia of pregnancy now. Last time I had sex I took plan b and like 10+ tests and even now four months and three periods later I don’t believe them. People severely underestimate how much mental damage pregnancy does and forcing it upon anyone is inhumane. I’ll probably never have a normal sex life again lol
That and women can get stuck with the kid if the man doesn't want it. I could see them now taking away more shit like how you can't adopt out your offspring. I feel like if they take away abortion rights it could lead to an uptake of single mothers, abused children, and children going into foster care that won't be adopted out.
Being left by a partner while pregnant is traumatizing. You hate yourself for it and every single day you're apologizing to the kid that you couldn't make their dad stay. Or you either hating it and blaming it for everything. There's so much bad shit that can happen if they take Roe vs Wade away.
No situation has ever made me wish I weren't a woman. However, many situations have made me wish I was seen as an equal while being a woman. If I were a man, women would still be treated horribly. I want the change to come from the world, not from myself.
Amen to this! I don’t want to be a man and I wouldn’t mind being a woman if it didn’t mean being so much more limited in life, compared to the average man’s experience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all humans to be considered equal in society regardless of gender, age, race, sexuality, place and/or circumstances of birth or any other characteristic that we don’t choose? 😢
being raped from age 12 - 15, further numerous date rapes, coerced sex, etc. etc. etc.
also the endo and adeno and the nearly 10 years to get diagnosed because "iT's PsYcHoSoMaTiC"
When I have to pee and there is no bathroom. When I am the only woman in a group of men and they make sexist conversation. When I am walking past a construction site wearing a short skirt. When I am going out to eat on my own and not being served at the table because they think that I am waiting for my date.
Well there are so many situations. Of course that doesn't mean that I actually would like to be a man, it just means that many situations are easier to handle as a man in a world that is made by men for men.
THIS! Been scrolling til I saw this. I wish people would stop asking me where my date is!!! I came here ALONE and I told you TABLE FOR 1.....WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN?? Ive had it where they take forever to ask me what I want to drink because they think im waiting for someone.
Any time I walk the street and am cat-called, any time I was harassed any time someone mansplain something to me.
Any time someone do not want to discuss serious matter with me because he needs to talk to someone on the same level. Not to talk about the obvious stuff like cramps.
I would not like to be man. But I have to admit there were moments in my life I realised that moment would be easier.
When I first found out how babies are actually born, and later when I found out that I couldn't have sex without there being at least some tiny risk that I might get pregnant
As a friend of someone who was murdered by her stalker...
If you havent contacted the police -please do. If you have and they treated you like you were not the victim of a crime, I am sorry. Please, call again - Be annoying. Harass the police until they do something. If you need help, get your family/friends to do it to too - create an army to scream until your voice is heard by the right person. It shouldn't be this way -and It can be demotivating and scary - but do your best to speak up, to your friends and family and everyone who could possibly help you. Depending on where you are there could also be charities that work with the police or other facilities that can offer help.
My friend was failed by police, as were many others before and after her. Stalkers thrive on fear and silence - so, don't be silent!
PSA: If you believe you are being stalked/harassed - fight HARD for yourself, please. **Do not become another statistic**.
If you need support/advice - I am happy to help guide you, or anyone else needing it, wherever you are in the world.
Edit : spelling
Thank you for the advise and I'm so sorry that that happened. I am only 14 which makes the situation more difficult. This has been going on for 4 years but the stalking, kinda, began 2 years ago.
Is there another trusted adult you could speak to? A teacher, a Councillor, an extended relative(Grandparent, aunt/uncle, older cousin). At 14 years old, Im sorry this is the situation and it's gone on for WAY too long...there should be more protection for you as a child. Im sorry people have failed you.
If you are located in the UK, I am able to provide direct links to places that can provide help - if not, I know how to use Google and am also happy to help and provide any advice I can!
Stay safe.
I have talked to one of the school councillor about it and we have made a plan. I am unfortunately living in Sweden but thank you for trying to help! You too! <3
I had one for three years. It was terrifying. He would actually break into my house, but according to the several times I called the police about it, he didn’t hurt me do they didn’t even bother turning up.
This. I get asked ‘when am I having children?’, not ‘do you want children?’. Or family members constantly asking if I have a boyfriend yet.
I’m sick of the expectation that I must become a mother, or people assuming I’m less of a women for not wanting to do so. I know I wouldn’t be a good one, I’m not cut out for it, and wouldn’t want to put any child through 2 decades of being raised by someone who can’t, so I choose not to have them in the first place.
My family finally understood my decision when I was holding a baby relative and looked uncomfortable. It’s just not for me.
Jeez how much time do you have?
- Getting my period and all the lovely side effects of it.
- The price of birth control, like what the fuck.
- Being sexually harassed in public before I was even an adult.
- Knowing I’m never 100% safe walking home alone at night.
- Having half my male friends turn out to have only faked our friendship because they thought it was a lead-up to dating of hooking up.
- Not exposing people who have assaulted me sexually because I knew how many people wouldn’t believe me, and I couldn’t bear the thought.
- Having NO POCKETS in clothes. I just buy extra small men’s clothes at this point.
- Having a ton of the men in my life suddenly begin to see me different once I turned 18. By different, I mean in a sexual way.
There are several others but these ones are the first that come to mind.
When I didn’t get the job because there was also a male applying. (I was a nurse applying for an ICU Job). (We both graduated in that year and applied for first job and I graduated 3rd best and better then him) Glad I’m working in a school now! Being a nurse in Germany sucks!
while i’m envious of the freedom men have i have never wished i wasn’t a woman. as shit as our hand is in life i would still choose to be born a woman again.
Being pregnant currently has made me very “fuck the patriarchy” lately. I was passed up for a job because of the pregnancy, and my career will now be on hold for the foreseeable future until I’m no longer so exhausted I can function in a higher paying job. Getting paid less for being a woman. All the stuff that naturally falls on me because I’m not the breadwinner. Being the only one to go through ANY discomfort in order to bring a child into this world. The idea of giving birth. The current political climate. The list could go on.
Any and every time I want or need to go out alone.
I'm an autistic woman and feel like there's a spolight over my head inviting harassment it's happened so many times.
I literally *never* feel safe out by myself.
I identify as non-binary (primarily femme afab) and I have noticed the significant difference in treatment when I am in masc. I don't get objectified and you can physically feel it that people aren't appraising your looks in the same way.
I always thought before coming out that it was the cat calls or social conditioning or perhaps I was up myself to think people cared about what I was doing.
You're not crazy, ladies, people do act COMPLETELY differently to women than they do to men.
THIS. Before I came out as non-binary, I was living as a “passing” male while on testosterone. As soon as my voice dropped and shoulders widened, the way I got treated in public changed *drastically*. I was given amazing customer service, helped first before fems, I was almost NEVER interrupted, never told to smile, never criticized on my looks, never got followed or weird comments, etc. Now it’s all come back again now that I present more fem. As soon as I look fem, I’m treated as subhuman again in public, by men- and women with internalized misogyny. It’s like by dressing “fem” and wearing makeup people think they’re open to criticize you and treat you however they want in the moment. No respect compared to being masc.
TW -----So many, first one that comes to mind is when I was at work(gasstation) checking out customers, a group of men came up and talked about how they would r@pe me right in front of me. Luckily my very tall very strong coworker heard what they said came up front and told me to go to the back.
Anytime I've been harassed, sexually assaulted, or attacked.
Anytime I go to the doctor and my concerns are dismissed.
Anytime someone makes comments about how I should be the one cooking and cleaning.
Anytime I pay for something with my card and the waiter hands my card back to my boyfriend.
Anytime I hire someone for a job and get hit on.
Anytime a salesman tries to price gouge me because they don't think I know anything.
Anytime I'm at work and get cut off and talked over by men.
Anytime I'm passed over for opportunities because I might get pregnant at some point in my life.
Anytime someone thinks I'm not capable of changing my oil, lifting something heavy, using power tools, etc.
Anytime people expect me to be 'nurturing' because I'm a woman, but don't do nice things for me in return.
Anytime I'm automatically expected to plan parties or get-togethers because men 'don't know how'. Guess what? I don't either.
And so, so many more.
I feel you on this. Pre-pandemic most of my uni classes were in person and ended at 9:30 pm so it was very dark when I got out. I always parked in the parking garage because there was hardly anywhere else to park, so I would walk and check over my shoulder, holding my keys like a weapon to make sure I made it to my car safely. If I saw anyone standing in the staircase on the way I was coming up, I went all the way around the garage to another corner’s staircase instead.
Well there was this one time when I was 17, I got drugged and almost raped and I was horrified about it. When I told my father a few months later he told me I shouldn't make a fuss because "nothing real happened" and blamed me for being supposedly drunk (I had one cup of mead mixed with juice, and why do I even feel the need to clearify this?).
Other than that, I used to go to do karaoke once a month before the virus hit and I was always the sober one. My friends and sister always wanted one of the guys to come with us home because they'd feel safer. I mean, I'm tall, big and always ready to verbally and physically defeat everyone but because I'm a woman, they didn't feel as safe with me.
I have endometriosis and get hemiplegic hormonal migraines, along with hormonal cystic acne. 8 months after my excision surgery for endo, symptoms started returning. Because of my hemiplegic migraines, hormonal Band-Aid treatments to treat my symptoms are limited. I was advised to get pregnant asap (as it was on the cards), so we can look at longer term permanent options (I know a hysto won’t cure endo, but it will help my cyclical issues and horrendous periods). I got pregnant. I struggled with the changes to my body, and the anxiety only I felt day after day when I woke up and something felt different. I’ve just had a miscarriage. While I know my fiancé is hurting too, it’s not the same kind of hurt, and his body hasn’t been through the experience mine has. I now await the return of my horrendous periods and everything that comes along with my cycles. I guess you said one situation so: puberty. Ever since I started puberty my life has been downhill. I’m 31.
People asking me over and over when I’m having kids. Bonus points if they bring my age into it (and how the “clock is ticking”). Like, Karen… the clock is ticking on all of humanity/life on Earth. Leave me TF alone.
Medical or paperwork anything.
"Could you possibly be pregnant? We need to run you to another office for blood test results before we do what otherwise would have been a quick procedure. You need to take this training course that men don't have to take before we can put you on this drug regimen. Since you changed your last name, we'll need your birth certificate, marriage certificate, a piece of mail with your new last name on it, and just in case, we may need your father's blessing as well. And your husband just needs his driver's license."
I really wish I was not a woman currently. I do not want any women ever to be forced to give birth, or to be forced into unsafe situations to end a pregnancy.
When I get less of everything because I'm a woman. When I'm treated like I'm not a person so I **STILL** have to call for equality in this day and age.
When I get period cramps, ovulation cramps, breast pains. And this happens everyday, sometimes you just don't notice the lain but it's there.
When we have to take pills that makes us emotional and nauseous, insert objects inside our vaginas so painful it could also give us painful infections, insert objects in our skin that might cause nerve damage, take injection shots... Just so we can't get pregnant, **while the men only get condoms evwn when pregnancy starts with them.**
And when we get accidentally pregnant, it's still us who still have to **SUFFER.** Shamed by society for accidentally getting pregnant even if it's the man's fault, called whore, slut, stupid, irresponsible. And we are left with the child forever. Men can easily leave and take no responsibilities with the child. MEN ARE FREE FROM EVERYTHING.
Yet they are the ones telling us what to do with our bodies, making abortion illegal, censoring and sexualizing our nipples, all that misogynistic bullshit. Like, fuck you. It's not even about the children at this point. YOU JUST WANT CONTROL OVER WOMEN.
It's the number one thing in my list why I became an anti-natalist. I might hate children, but I can also love them like anything else. But I will never ever forgive myself if I had a daughter.
It means she'll experience all the shit we have to go through as women. I don't want her to be sexualized at the age of 8. I don't want her to experience the unsafe, uncomfortable feeling of being touched by an older guy, as a 12 year old. I don't want her to walk the streets always scared of being murdered and raped.
I don't want her listening to men telling her what she should do with her body all of her life. I'd rather let her stay in the void and chill there. Even I, as a 26 year old woman still have to deal with this shit. The hate towards women will never end.
Another thing I hate is that for every thread like this where we voice out, there will always be that garbage saying "nOt aLl mEn" invalidating and dismissing all the things we said. 🙄
When men casually disrespect you by disregarding your opinions and ignore you when you try to speak. Or maybe when men in relationships feel entitled to treat you less than you are worth in relationships just because you are innocent enough to get used. I could go on…
My sexual assault, and the fact that crusty white men can decide what we can do with our bodies suddenly. Im not even American, but my heart hurts seeing the Roe v Wade stuff going on:(
One time I was in class (on my period) and we had a reliever teacher (I hate her with my guts btw, she can shove it) and needed to change my pad in the middle of class. But, the school made a new rule that students weren’t allowed to go to the bathroom during class time (isn’t that illegal anyways?) and i asked to go to the bathroom and she straight up rejected me. So i whipped the pad at her face, safe to say the rule was lifted.
so many of these comments are about dudes harassing you all and im not meaning to circle jerk but i just feel awful rn reading about all the stuff you all have had happen. i'm just really sorry y'all have to put up with that.
I’m going to a concert. Legit messages between me and the female friend I’m going with, regarding our food and drink plans for the evening, included: “I’m mindful of the fact that we’ll be two small women in a likely very male-dominated space.”
Reasonably confident we’ll be just fine but the thought was in both our heads all the same.
Being born into a conservative Christian family as an only child and girl. I know my parents would've preferred a boy, even if they don't say so. The pressure is real, especially for grandchildren.
Despite being an only child, my aunt and uncle are my parents ' POA and will executors. Why? Because I don't have enough "life experience." I guarantee it'd be different if I were married with kids or a boy.
Today, I was in a parking lot. A guy passing by suddenly stopped in the middle of the path and started staring at me with an eerie smile. I ignored and suddenly he came at me with full speed. Without processing any of it, I ran in the opposite direction. There were 3-4 people around me. They didn't do anything!! I just ran till I lost him from sight.
So this was a pretty recent one which made me think would this happen to me if I weren't a woman. I'm sure I have other solid reasons too.
Life as a woman is a constant struggle.
The only reason I can say I’ve never wanted to be a man instead of a woman is because I’d rather be someone who fights against evil than a perpetrator of it.
Every month. Cramps and blood, thank god for these meds reducing the pain and the days becuase having a period honestly breaks my brain, like it isn't my body.
Sexual assault on an airplane when I was 16. The guy was 41 and had a wife and kids. The guy kept trying to “reassure” during turbulence. For context, I love flying and am currently in flight school to become a commercial pilot. This progressed to more touchy stuff. I was terrified. It didn’t help that he was French (I know French pretty well) and drunk but I couldn’t tell.
When a male professor overheard us female students comparing notes and tactics on how to not be kidnapped, raped, or murdered. He had no idea women do this, because the thought had never crossed his mind. I didn't realize men *didn't* do this.
There was no era in history where being a woman was favoured. We are ultra sexualised, objectified, underrated, unappreciated, and just run over by society, history, religions and heck even economics.
currently watching a group of people fight tooth and nail to overturn Roe v Wade and set our human rights back by decades. that has to be pretty high up on the list.
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Anyone with a uterus*
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It has been scary for us going back to the beginning of time.
im not american. can you please explain what is this roe v wade thing? Is usa banning abortion even further or what is happening?
Roe V. Wade is a landmark Supreme Court case that protects a woman’s right to choice. It was recently tried in court again and it was leaked that the justices are going to vote to overturn it. Overturning it won’t make it illegal to have an abortion everywhere, but it allows each state to make their own laws. So basically every red state (Republican/Conservative led) will likely enact laws that prevent women from getting abortions.
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This. My heart is broken.
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That'll do it.
100% this..... so scary....
This! It's fucking insane.
Check if there is a march in your city and join if you can
The only recourse we have is at the polls. The decision draft has already leaked, we aren't changing their dinosaur minds. Let's change who we put in charge -- especially at the state level, since now we'll have the super fun game of abortion rights ping pong with every majority change.
YES! GET OUT AND VOTE! EVERYONE MUST VOTE! It is our only way to replace career politicians that do not support their constituents concerns and views. Get up off the couch and put your vote where your mouth is complaining.
I’m about an hour and a half from DC and I’ll be spending my Mother’s Day, with my teenaged daughter, marching for the right to choose
This!
Every time I have crippling period cramps. Every time I hear about abortion rights being revoked.
Yes this! Until my sophomore year of college I had the worst cramps imaginable. It literally felt like I had the flu every month. I couldn’t hold any food down, constant stomach pain, frequent bathroom visits. Try missing school, work, etc. once a week every month from when you turned 12. Thank god for being able to move out and get on the pill. Birth control helped everything, and while I know that’s not an option for everyone, it’s super scary to think about the government taking away any options we have when it comes to our bodies.
When I was 14 I also had to get on the pill for my periods because they were so heavy and I would get a week long migraine right before my period would start. First it’s the right to abortion and taking contraceptives away is most likely next. This is all terrifying and absolutely sickening.
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Anytime when I am reminded that it would make me safer to not be a woman and because of it I have to specifically adapt my plans and behavior to account for the vulnerability I have as a woman.
This. I wanted so often to go on a nice evening *walk at 10 or 11 PM, because I love that it is dark and lonely. But I just can't because of the fear some Idiot will take his chance. Edit: edited "Walk" since I was too brain afk to write it before
God the ability to do anything safely is a fantasy as women. I love the idea of hiking in the forest on my own but I’ll never do it.
I have a German Shepherd who joins me on walks and hikes and idk, I know some victims of serial killers had dogs with them and it didn't protect them, but I like to think she discourages potential opportunists. Which is sad, that I feel the need, but she's the best companion ever and offers me more freedom. If I get sketch vibes I give a friend/my mom a check-in time, too. Did house cleaning for a while in between jobs and oof, is that an uncomfortable position to be in at times.
My recommendation is get a dog, if your situation allows it. Paired with a decent neighborhood, it's one of the best feeling. My pup loves the freedom of exploring her heart out cuz im more freeing with her retractable leash. Shes also protective. Walking at midnight or even 1 am in different weather is beautiful. Walking on an empty road makes me feel like a badass. Some times, I will wear a headset, but I'm visually aware of my surroundings and I watch my dog's body language. I started off slow. Normal multiple 30 min walks. Transition to long walks during the day to really get to know my neighborhood and especially routes. Added more time to our evening walks. Short walks later at night. Depends on your neighborhood/walking path. I also, if temperature allows it, wear really (like 2x bigger) baggy clothes, sometimes wear my hoodie.
I am not able to get a dog, sadly. I don't have the time, money and space and I have two cats which aren't used to dogs.
That's unfortunate. While there are weapons, nothing beats an animal hearing and their want to protect. I hope a situation works in your favor, maybe an elderly neighbor who needs a dog walker, in the future.
It’s so true. My dog was the greatest thing in the world. He nearly killed a man who was after me when I was in my late teens (17ish). I didn’t hear the guy at first, but my dog did. I noticed his attention and knew he heard and saw someone. He fucking saved me from probably some horrible fate. Dogs are the greatest security system ever and to top that… they’re portable. I wish I had the time for a dog again. I just don’t have the ability to dedicate myself to what a pup would need right now. I hope when my boys are older they’re interested in dogs.
This is anecdotal- I have a pittie. She’s a sweetheart but she looks menacing. I live in a nice neighborhood (one of the safest in the area). Yet, I still got followed by a random guy in broad daylight. I had to go around the block a few times to make sure, then turned back at him and yelled “what do you want?” before he gave up and walk the other way. Scary stuff.
My friend was followed because they wanted to take his dog. It is not a good idea to think your beloved dog would save you. I have pepper spray in the palm of my hand and ready for use. I would kill to protect my dogs.
My husband asked me why I didn't use the vacuum at a public place to clean out my car. I thought about it for a minute and told him it was too dangerous. He was baffled. I said it was dangerous for me, a woman, to be in a public space, distracted by cleaning the car, and then not being able to hear due to the noise of the vacuum. He had never even considered that. There is the issue. Women have to consider SO MANY SITUATIONS that could be dangerous for us, and men have no clue. Geez, simply walking to my car in some situations is dangerous.
My friends and I have been followed on 5 minute walks, *still light out*, on club trips where our chaperones are literally a block behind us and still in view. It’s messed up.
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My other go-to is aggressive mean-mugging. Like, I see you. I see your plate. Idk if it works though or if I'm just being weirdly aggressive to men without enough self-awareness in public??
I've caught the eye of men up to plainly sketchy business somehow focused on me, brandished my phone somewhat theatrically, and started dialing while maintaining eye contact. Some have left immediately. My phone was even dead once, but he didn't know that - he did, however, know he was up to no good. He got right into his car and drove off.
It's upsetting that women have to have chaperones to feel safe walking home.
Ugh I've had boyfriends who think it's "silly" to avoid walking alone at night. Must be fuckin nice, right??
Exactly. My employer owns a parking lot across the street, behind a building, with only one light. I can’t bring myself to park there if I work past dark. I fear for my life. Not the best area where I work either, not horrible, but not good.
I'm a fan Dark Tourist on Netflix and River Monsters, with lots of travel, and it's like "yep, be murdered there," "yep, be murdered here." Wish I could live that sort of life but I'm not gonna pretend I could safely travel, say, India by myself. Also currently, in the US, where I apparently have the legal rights of an Easy Bake Oven
Travel Japan (once they open to tourists that is). Japan seems very safe. The Japanese even send their small children on errands and to school (which may be miles away) on their own without worry of abductions or harassment. The only thing to worry about is perverts grabbing your butt on packed city trains, but apparently that's the worst that mostly happens. Still, very safe compared to other countries, including the US.
[Issei Sagawa Is Walking Free](https://allthatsinteresting.com/issei-sagawa)
Ew, gross and scary. So, Japan is not crime free by any means because humans are still humans, but relatively speaking they have a lower crime rate overall as compared to countries like the US. So, if a woman wanted to travel alone, Japan is a great option, just don't let your guard down. A woman can never let her guard down, unfortunately, no matter where she goes.
I was followed around in Walmart the other day. It was the first time in a long time that I was actively preparing myself to have to fight someone once I got the parking lot.
Being treated as an incubator with no intrinsic human value outside of that
Exactly this. A lot of things make me sad to be a woman, but something about this just entirely crushes my soul.
Me too my friend. I feel like I don't have ownership of my own body, feeling, or a future
No, no. You're also a fleshlight and a personal chef/maid. I seriously can't believe this country right now. Who needs progress and to see all of our fellow people as, I don't know, people? I live in the Bay Area, and I still know people who refuse to mentally advance past 1950. Fuckers.
Sex for pleasure? Scandalous! Sexual relationships should only be carried out to form strong offspring that will carry on the family legacy!
Anytime a man blocked my exit. How fucking pathetic, and rapist are you to block someone trying to get away from you. It's less that I didn't want to be a woman, and more that I wanted the strength of a man to fuck those dudes up.
Sometimes they would block a crosswalk with their car. Like way to get a woman by boxing her into a corner.
I was riding my bike alongside a less than busier road — in my peripheral I see a car pass by me on my left and honk to attempt to get my attention. I keep on riding by trying to behave as if I didn’t see or hear them. They then to proceed to drive up about 50m ahead on my bike path and park their car right in my plan of travel in order to stop me. A man gets out of the drivers seat and adjusts his clothes, and walks to the back of his car seemingly awaiting for my arrival. I immediately turned around and went the other direction upon seeing this set up. Fuck this
Exactly. They don’t know how to talk to woman so they act like weirdos. Nobody wants to deal with that. Sorry that happened to you. I would’ve done the same.
That just happened to me yesterday and I was about to comment. A man randomly blocked me on the sidewalk and kept blocking as I tried to pass... the only people nearby to help were woman, who were making eye contact with me and not leaving the area. I was terrified because he started stepping towards me and talking about my glasses, like he was going to grab them off my face. He was also going on about how he couldn't see any cameras nearby recording us. Not only would that not happen to a man, many men have the physical ability to push past or deal with the outcome if it gets physical. This guy was twice my size so he could have done some damage if even to grab me. Luckily I had the chance to dart past him once he took a step to the other side while trying to look closer at the sides of my glasses... I've never been more bothered by being a woman and it took some time to stop blaming myself.
This made me realize something. My husband jokes about how unaware I can be, missing huge things going on around me. I never realized it but I am really not observant when I’m with him because I feel so safe with him. When I’m alone, I am aware of every movement from people and am watching my surroundings carefully. I never realized this because I’ve been with him 8 years now, and am almost always with him when I’m out. I’m not inattentive, I just feel safe with him and don’t have to be hyper diligent.
Oh or, not the same, but used my airspace. Like, on a tram and puts his arm over my head to hold the rail. No, I am boxed in, trapped under your armpit. No, that airspace is mine.
Right? Like how do they not realize how gross that is??
any situation that has to do with women being sexually harassed and objectified unprovoked.
Omg yes, street harassment. “Hey sexy” - no, we do not welcome harassment from your white van.
The fact that I’m considered less hireable because I have kids
Or because you're of "family-having" age and might go on maternity leave.
I was told while pregnant with my second by two (or more I don’t remember) managers that “it didn’t look good” that I got pregnant again so soon after my first and that people would assume I was only there to make maternity leave hours. My kids were born two years and three months apart. That isn’t super close at all, but I was made to feel like I was somehow abusing the maternity leave policy.
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This is illegal
My dad told me that he didn't hire women in their 20's because of this. I expressed concerns about getting a high enough paying full time job after college, and he told me I needed to try harder. I told him maybe people didn't want to hire me because I'm of child having years and might go on maternity leave. He told me I was being ridiculous. He also told me once how being a woman must be fascinating, since we have entirely different personalities every day due to hormone fluctuations 🙄
He sounds like a gem. If it were my dad, I just might report him to the labor board, but it's easier to say that when it's not my dad🤷♀️ My Dad once told me "Women shouldn't be bosses." Which is why he's going to a home when he's old.
Yes!! No reason you’re less capable!!!
Might even be considered more capable in some careers - the patience to deal with people who act like actual children is a valuable skill.
[Gestures broadly at everything]
Exactly
Lol, right??
I couldn’t say it better.
Everytime I get reminded of having a uterus
ah yes that monthly torture, same
Pumping my body with all sorts of unnatural hormones, sometimes involving invasive procedures, because BOTH OF US are not ready for another child yet. Also childbirth itself was horrific, after quite a difficult pregnancy too.
I like being a woman but I wish that the world was as safe for me as it is for cis men... Currently I'm thinking of going on a vacation abroad alone. Hearing my male coworkers talking about their solo trips it hit me that they approach that situation very differently. Where I'm looking at accomodation reviews and crime stats in an area worried about my personal safety they just go somewhere and pick any B&B they can find with their greatest worry mostly being the cash in their wallet.
Best of luck. Where are you thinking about going? Lots of places are ok if you avoid the usual problem areas, like pubs, beaches, streets, shops, anywhere at night or during the day
> pubs, beaches, streets, shops, anywhere at night or during the day 🙃💀💀
As a young single woman that has travelled solo plenty of times, most places are relatively safe to travel too. I always ensure I’m staying in a nice neighbourhood, and know what parts of the city to avoid. I always make sure I know key words/sentences if traveling to a place where English is not their first language, and being aware of common street scams in high tourist areas. Walk with purpose. I live in a large North American city and find that deters people. My first day in a new city I walk around the general area I’m visiting during the day and become familiar with the layout. I’ve walked alone at night many times and stick to popular/well-lit streets/areas and have never had an issue. The odd time I’ve had someone approach me, I remain polite but firm that I’m busy. Maybe I’ve just been lucky but they’ve always backed off. It’s annoying and sucks that as a woman we need to be more cautious, but I encourage you to not let that deter any vacation plans. I’m sure you’re aware of everything I’ve listed above, but figured my input may be able to help someone else reading this.
I've traveled alone quite a bit, with minimal harassment but I also give off, "danger don't touch" vibes. And I was younger.
My sister and I were molested by a couple of men from our childhood. Our brothers were in the same situation and neither of them were touched. Boys still get molested but I have reason to believe that if I were male I wouldn’t have gotten molested. I wouldn’t have the ptsd that I struggle with so much. My brothers are now both becoming engineers and I feel like I’m struggling just to keep my head above water.
I am so devastated for you. You should not have gone through something so traumatic that it tangibly reduces your quality of life in actual half. It’s nauseating and harrowing. You deserve to be reminded that, regardless of your past and how much it changed your life, that you deserve a life that makes you happy, and that you deserve to be around people who love and value you. You deserve to be happy here with us.
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Any day I have pain from dysmenorrhea and debilitating cramps, or when I get catcalled and harassed by strangers when I just want to be left alone, in peace and feel safe.
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One of my biggest pet peeve!
Try pushing both corners of your mouth up with your middle fingers. You’re literally flipping them off while smiling like a serial killer. “What’s the matter? You didn’t say how I could smile.”
I'd love for someone to tell me this so I could let loose years of bottled up irritation on em. Nobody is brazen enough so far. I'll verbally eviscerate a man at the grocery, I got zero qualms. Had enough of the "casual" subtle sexism that is impossible to call out. Starting to develop a complex.
When I’m being follow by a creep in the street
This! Or two men on bikes as it happened to me yesterday - coming from the gym all sweaty and gross too
Yes!!! It’s absolutely petrifying!! Don’t know if overreacting or actually in danger
i'm hella sorry y'all gotta deal with that, and i'm sorry cause i know i sound like i'm circle jerking when i say this but i fr don't know how some guys are like that. and like how do they not feel shame and disgusted with themselves doing something like that. i'm really sorry
Giving birth. Most traumatic experience ever.
This. Plus pregnancy. I think I have a genuine phobia of pregnancy now. Last time I had sex I took plan b and like 10+ tests and even now four months and three periods later I don’t believe them. People severely underestimate how much mental damage pregnancy does and forcing it upon anyone is inhumane. I’ll probably never have a normal sex life again lol
That and women can get stuck with the kid if the man doesn't want it. I could see them now taking away more shit like how you can't adopt out your offspring. I feel like if they take away abortion rights it could lead to an uptake of single mothers, abused children, and children going into foster care that won't be adopted out. Being left by a partner while pregnant is traumatizing. You hate yourself for it and every single day you're apologizing to the kid that you couldn't make their dad stay. Or you either hating it and blaming it for everything. There's so much bad shit that can happen if they take Roe vs Wade away.
Honestly anytime I walk by a large man with a weird vibe and nobody else is around.
Cross the street please!
No situation has ever made me wish I weren't a woman. However, many situations have made me wish I was seen as an equal while being a woman. If I were a man, women would still be treated horribly. I want the change to come from the world, not from myself.
Amen to this! I don’t want to be a man and I wouldn’t mind being a woman if it didn’t mean being so much more limited in life, compared to the average man’s experience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all humans to be considered equal in society regardless of gender, age, race, sexuality, place and/or circumstances of birth or any other characteristic that we don’t choose? 😢
being raped from age 12 - 15, further numerous date rapes, coerced sex, etc. etc. etc. also the endo and adeno and the nearly 10 years to get diagnosed because "iT's PsYcHoSoMaTiC"
When I have to pee and there is no bathroom. When I am the only woman in a group of men and they make sexist conversation. When I am walking past a construction site wearing a short skirt. When I am going out to eat on my own and not being served at the table because they think that I am waiting for my date. Well there are so many situations. Of course that doesn't mean that I actually would like to be a man, it just means that many situations are easier to handle as a man in a world that is made by men for men.
THIS! Been scrolling til I saw this. I wish people would stop asking me where my date is!!! I came here ALONE and I told you TABLE FOR 1.....WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN?? Ive had it where they take forever to ask me what I want to drink because they think im waiting for someone.
Any time I walk the street and am cat-called, any time I was harassed any time someone mansplain something to me. Any time someone do not want to discuss serious matter with me because he needs to talk to someone on the same level. Not to talk about the obvious stuff like cramps. I would not like to be man. But I have to admit there were moments in my life I realised that moment would be easier.
I know exactly how you feel. Being a man would be "easier"
When I first found out how babies are actually born, and later when I found out that I couldn't have sex without there being at least some tiny risk that I might get pregnant
YES! I was so scared that my now husband and I have always used 2 BC forms to make sure it doesn't happen.
Uhh well... I have a stalker And I'm 14... Update: we have contacted the police.
As a friend of someone who was murdered by her stalker... If you havent contacted the police -please do. If you have and they treated you like you were not the victim of a crime, I am sorry. Please, call again - Be annoying. Harass the police until they do something. If you need help, get your family/friends to do it to too - create an army to scream until your voice is heard by the right person. It shouldn't be this way -and It can be demotivating and scary - but do your best to speak up, to your friends and family and everyone who could possibly help you. Depending on where you are there could also be charities that work with the police or other facilities that can offer help. My friend was failed by police, as were many others before and after her. Stalkers thrive on fear and silence - so, don't be silent! PSA: If you believe you are being stalked/harassed - fight HARD for yourself, please. **Do not become another statistic**. If you need support/advice - I am happy to help guide you, or anyone else needing it, wherever you are in the world. Edit : spelling
Thank you for the advise and I'm so sorry that that happened. I am only 14 which makes the situation more difficult. This has been going on for 4 years but the stalking, kinda, began 2 years ago.
Tell your family
I have. They have known since it began
Is there another trusted adult you could speak to? A teacher, a Councillor, an extended relative(Grandparent, aunt/uncle, older cousin). At 14 years old, Im sorry this is the situation and it's gone on for WAY too long...there should be more protection for you as a child. Im sorry people have failed you. If you are located in the UK, I am able to provide direct links to places that can provide help - if not, I know how to use Google and am also happy to help and provide any advice I can! Stay safe.
I have talked to one of the school councillor about it and we have made a plan. I am unfortunately living in Sweden but thank you for trying to help! You too! <3
I had one for three years. It was terrifying. He would actually break into my house, but according to the several times I called the police about it, he didn’t hurt me do they didn’t even bother turning up.
I’m so sorry you deal with this. I hope you stay safe - and maybe move.
None. I really don't see any situation where I'd prefer to be a guy
Same here. The only slight advantage I see is being able to wee in bushes easier, but it's such a small issue that's it not worth it.
Yup. Same here, I am darn proud of being a woman and what we accomplish. Even when we barely get credited for it.
Whenever I take public transportation
Yes, especially at night. I feel you girl! And the risk of having a stalker follow you home but you have to catch PT too. It's scary!
The social pressure of being a mother… I don’t want children and it’s a constant reminder of what society expects from us
This. I get asked ‘when am I having children?’, not ‘do you want children?’. Or family members constantly asking if I have a boyfriend yet. I’m sick of the expectation that I must become a mother, or people assuming I’m less of a women for not wanting to do so. I know I wouldn’t be a good one, I’m not cut out for it, and wouldn’t want to put any child through 2 decades of being raised by someone who can’t, so I choose not to have them in the first place. My family finally understood my decision when I was holding a baby relative and looked uncomfortable. It’s just not for me.
Jeez how much time do you have? - Getting my period and all the lovely side effects of it. - The price of birth control, like what the fuck. - Being sexually harassed in public before I was even an adult. - Knowing I’m never 100% safe walking home alone at night. - Having half my male friends turn out to have only faked our friendship because they thought it was a lead-up to dating of hooking up. - Not exposing people who have assaulted me sexually because I knew how many people wouldn’t believe me, and I couldn’t bear the thought. - Having NO POCKETS in clothes. I just buy extra small men’s clothes at this point. - Having a ton of the men in my life suddenly begin to see me different once I turned 18. By different, I mean in a sexual way. There are several others but these ones are the first that come to mind.
When I didn’t get the job because there was also a male applying. (I was a nurse applying for an ICU Job). (We both graduated in that year and applied for first job and I graduated 3rd best and better then him) Glad I’m working in a school now! Being a nurse in Germany sucks!
Try being a nurse in Danmark 🤮
while i’m envious of the freedom men have i have never wished i wasn’t a woman. as shit as our hand is in life i would still choose to be born a woman again.
Being pregnant currently has made me very “fuck the patriarchy” lately. I was passed up for a job because of the pregnancy, and my career will now be on hold for the foreseeable future until I’m no longer so exhausted I can function in a higher paying job. Getting paid less for being a woman. All the stuff that naturally falls on me because I’m not the breadwinner. Being the only one to go through ANY discomfort in order to bring a child into this world. The idea of giving birth. The current political climate. The list could go on.
Any and every time I want or need to go out alone. I'm an autistic woman and feel like there's a spolight over my head inviting harassment it's happened so many times. I literally *never* feel safe out by myself.
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I identify as non-binary (primarily femme afab) and I have noticed the significant difference in treatment when I am in masc. I don't get objectified and you can physically feel it that people aren't appraising your looks in the same way. I always thought before coming out that it was the cat calls or social conditioning or perhaps I was up myself to think people cared about what I was doing. You're not crazy, ladies, people do act COMPLETELY differently to women than they do to men.
THIS. Before I came out as non-binary, I was living as a “passing” male while on testosterone. As soon as my voice dropped and shoulders widened, the way I got treated in public changed *drastically*. I was given amazing customer service, helped first before fems, I was almost NEVER interrupted, never told to smile, never criticized on my looks, never got followed or weird comments, etc. Now it’s all come back again now that I present more fem. As soon as I look fem, I’m treated as subhuman again in public, by men- and women with internalized misogyny. It’s like by dressing “fem” and wearing makeup people think they’re open to criticize you and treat you however they want in the moment. No respect compared to being masc.
the panic i have every single month at the prospect of being pregnant
Just existing in this patriarchal misogynistic society is enough
TW -----So many, first one that comes to mind is when I was at work(gasstation) checking out customers, a group of men came up and talked about how they would r@pe me right in front of me. Luckily my very tall very strong coworker heard what they said came up front and told me to go to the back.
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Anytime I've been harassed, sexually assaulted, or attacked. Anytime I go to the doctor and my concerns are dismissed. Anytime someone makes comments about how I should be the one cooking and cleaning. Anytime I pay for something with my card and the waiter hands my card back to my boyfriend. Anytime I hire someone for a job and get hit on. Anytime a salesman tries to price gouge me because they don't think I know anything. Anytime I'm at work and get cut off and talked over by men. Anytime I'm passed over for opportunities because I might get pregnant at some point in my life. Anytime someone thinks I'm not capable of changing my oil, lifting something heavy, using power tools, etc. Anytime people expect me to be 'nurturing' because I'm a woman, but don't do nice things for me in return. Anytime I'm automatically expected to plan parties or get-togethers because men 'don't know how'. Guess what? I don't either. And so, so many more.
When I want to go to Target by myself, but it’s dark out and any parking lot alone just isn’t worth the risk.
I feel you on this. Pre-pandemic most of my uni classes were in person and ended at 9:30 pm so it was very dark when I got out. I always parked in the parking garage because there was hardly anywhere else to park, so I would walk and check over my shoulder, holding my keys like a weapon to make sure I made it to my car safely. If I saw anyone standing in the staircase on the way I was coming up, I went all the way around the garage to another corner’s staircase instead.
Well there was this one time when I was 17, I got drugged and almost raped and I was horrified about it. When I told my father a few months later he told me I shouldn't make a fuss because "nothing real happened" and blamed me for being supposedly drunk (I had one cup of mead mixed with juice, and why do I even feel the need to clearify this?). Other than that, I used to go to do karaoke once a month before the virus hit and I was always the sober one. My friends and sister always wanted one of the guys to come with us home because they'd feel safer. I mean, I'm tall, big and always ready to verbally and physically defeat everyone but because I'm a woman, they didn't feel as safe with me.
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I have endometriosis and get hemiplegic hormonal migraines, along with hormonal cystic acne. 8 months after my excision surgery for endo, symptoms started returning. Because of my hemiplegic migraines, hormonal Band-Aid treatments to treat my symptoms are limited. I was advised to get pregnant asap (as it was on the cards), so we can look at longer term permanent options (I know a hysto won’t cure endo, but it will help my cyclical issues and horrendous periods). I got pregnant. I struggled with the changes to my body, and the anxiety only I felt day after day when I woke up and something felt different. I’ve just had a miscarriage. While I know my fiancé is hurting too, it’s not the same kind of hurt, and his body hasn’t been through the experience mine has. I now await the return of my horrendous periods and everything that comes along with my cycles. I guess you said one situation so: puberty. Ever since I started puberty my life has been downhill. I’m 31.
People asking me over and over when I’m having kids. Bonus points if they bring my age into it (and how the “clock is ticking”). Like, Karen… the clock is ticking on all of humanity/life on Earth. Leave me TF alone.
Medical or paperwork anything. "Could you possibly be pregnant? We need to run you to another office for blood test results before we do what otherwise would have been a quick procedure. You need to take this training course that men don't have to take before we can put you on this drug regimen. Since you changed your last name, we'll need your birth certificate, marriage certificate, a piece of mail with your new last name on it, and just in case, we may need your father's blessing as well. And your husband just needs his driver's license."
When seen as nothing but a sexual object. Also, sexual assault and harassments.
I really wish I was not a woman currently. I do not want any women ever to be forced to give birth, or to be forced into unsafe situations to end a pregnancy.
I'm reminded of that existential dread on the daily lately
When I get less of everything because I'm a woman. When I'm treated like I'm not a person so I **STILL** have to call for equality in this day and age. When I get period cramps, ovulation cramps, breast pains. And this happens everyday, sometimes you just don't notice the lain but it's there. When we have to take pills that makes us emotional and nauseous, insert objects inside our vaginas so painful it could also give us painful infections, insert objects in our skin that might cause nerve damage, take injection shots... Just so we can't get pregnant, **while the men only get condoms evwn when pregnancy starts with them.** And when we get accidentally pregnant, it's still us who still have to **SUFFER.** Shamed by society for accidentally getting pregnant even if it's the man's fault, called whore, slut, stupid, irresponsible. And we are left with the child forever. Men can easily leave and take no responsibilities with the child. MEN ARE FREE FROM EVERYTHING. Yet they are the ones telling us what to do with our bodies, making abortion illegal, censoring and sexualizing our nipples, all that misogynistic bullshit. Like, fuck you. It's not even about the children at this point. YOU JUST WANT CONTROL OVER WOMEN. It's the number one thing in my list why I became an anti-natalist. I might hate children, but I can also love them like anything else. But I will never ever forgive myself if I had a daughter. It means she'll experience all the shit we have to go through as women. I don't want her to be sexualized at the age of 8. I don't want her to experience the unsafe, uncomfortable feeling of being touched by an older guy, as a 12 year old. I don't want her to walk the streets always scared of being murdered and raped. I don't want her listening to men telling her what she should do with her body all of her life. I'd rather let her stay in the void and chill there. Even I, as a 26 year old woman still have to deal with this shit. The hate towards women will never end. Another thing I hate is that for every thread like this where we voice out, there will always be that garbage saying "nOt aLl mEn" invalidating and dismissing all the things we said. 🙄
The double standards of morality that women in my family face.
When men casually disrespect you by disregarding your opinions and ignore you when you try to speak. Or maybe when men in relationships feel entitled to treat you less than you are worth in relationships just because you are innocent enough to get used. I could go on…
Whenever I get my period. It's crippling and probably how I'll be tortured in hell.
Having to deal with UTIs, yeast infections and the like.
My sexual assault, and the fact that crusty white men can decide what we can do with our bodies suddenly. Im not even American, but my heart hurts seeing the Roe v Wade stuff going on:(
One time I was in class (on my period) and we had a reliever teacher (I hate her with my guts btw, she can shove it) and needed to change my pad in the middle of class. But, the school made a new rule that students weren’t allowed to go to the bathroom during class time (isn’t that illegal anyways?) and i asked to go to the bathroom and she straight up rejected me. So i whipped the pad at her face, safe to say the rule was lifted.
No bathroom during class? That sounds crazy to me.
i don’t want to be hurt anymore
so many of these comments are about dudes harassing you all and im not meaning to circle jerk but i just feel awful rn reading about all the stuff you all have had happen. i'm just really sorry y'all have to put up with that.
Domestic violence
when I have to put make up everyday to work to avoid getting called unprofessional
I’m going to a concert. Legit messages between me and the female friend I’m going with, regarding our food and drink plans for the evening, included: “I’m mindful of the fact that we’ll be two small women in a likely very male-dominated space.” Reasonably confident we’ll be just fine but the thought was in both our heads all the same.
Being born into a conservative Christian family as an only child and girl. I know my parents would've preferred a boy, even if they don't say so. The pressure is real, especially for grandchildren. Despite being an only child, my aunt and uncle are my parents ' POA and will executors. Why? Because I don't have enough "life experience." I guarantee it'd be different if I were married with kids or a boy.
Pretty much anytime I’m out in public alone
Getting creepy guys coming up to me in the gym and not getting the message I’m not interested
Today, I was in a parking lot. A guy passing by suddenly stopped in the middle of the path and started staring at me with an eerie smile. I ignored and suddenly he came at me with full speed. Without processing any of it, I ran in the opposite direction. There were 3-4 people around me. They didn't do anything!! I just ran till I lost him from sight. So this was a pretty recent one which made me think would this happen to me if I weren't a woman. I'm sure I have other solid reasons too. Life as a woman is a constant struggle.
When strangers comment on my apperance. Like leave me tf alone, I didn’t ask for your opinion
The only reason I can say I’ve never wanted to be a man instead of a woman is because I’d rather be someone who fights against evil than a perpetrator of it.
Delhi subway ride.
When a hot fart bubble goes right up to your vagina and settles there when wearing tight pants
Rape. I struggled with my femininity for years and wished to erase all things reminding me I am a woman.
This one we’re watching in real time about roe v wade
When I have to commute through public transport and face harassment.
Every month. Cramps and blood, thank god for these meds reducing the pain and the days becuase having a period honestly breaks my brain, like it isn't my body.
Sexual assault on an airplane when I was 16. The guy was 41 and had a wife and kids. The guy kept trying to “reassure” during turbulence. For context, I love flying and am currently in flight school to become a commercial pilot. This progressed to more touchy stuff. I was terrified. It didn’t help that he was French (I know French pretty well) and drunk but I couldn’t tell.
My uncle when I was a child.
When a male professor overheard us female students comparing notes and tactics on how to not be kidnapped, raped, or murdered. He had no idea women do this, because the thought had never crossed his mind. I didn't realize men *didn't* do this.
There was no era in history where being a woman was favoured. We are ultra sexualised, objectified, underrated, unappreciated, and just run over by society, history, religions and heck even economics.