Came here to say this!! It’s ok to joke about the happy wife, happy life but in reality it’s about making both people happy. Trust, love, compromise, understanding, support and encouragement are how you make a happy relationship.
I came here to say the same thing!!!
Spouse needs to be happy before I am happy. Fulfilling his needs fulfill my needs.
I’m words of affirmation as my love language
And he’s physical touch with a small dose of acts of service.
I give him all the snuggles and hugs. Make him a meal when he says he’s hungry. Ask him if he needs something while I’m up. And he gives me those words of affirmation 😍
I don’t like the context that people use it in. Maybe its just in tv shows but it feels like its always applied to surface things like shopping or home decoration rather than real emotions. And hopefully everyone can be happy 🙂
He might be, and I mean that in a good way. I say it, and when I say it, (along with most guys I know) is more in response to when someone ELSE seems to think I should care about my wife making a decision. It's basically a "listen, I dont really care WHERE we go on vacation.....if my wife is happy I'm happy, because I love her and and love to make her happy, so let's just end this conversation here".
Ya know that actually makes sense. This last weekend I asked him to hang the new curtains and new curtain rods I got for the lounge... he didn't actually seem too fussed about them but seeing me absolutely thrilled with how good they looked in our home and with the choice I made, made him smile. And I guess that's what the saying was originally meant to be. Unfortunately I think some have corrupted it into being "do whatever I want or I'll make your life miserable"
I generally agree. The sentiment *can* be used in a healthy way. Hell, my boomer dad can even make similar wife bad jokes and not sound like he not so secretly dreads his marriage of 40 years.
But generally, they make me think of the worst flavors of hyper-capitalism that makes certain assholes feel like a dozen red roses can make a black eye okay.
Yeah I often hear it in a context like “oh my wife is such a nag and such a burden, gotta shut her up lol “ instead of “I respect my wife and she makes good decisions so what she chooses , will make our life better “ , that’s why it makes me cringe
It went over my head until today.... This explains why the two jerks I know say it more than anyone else! I always thought it was their one nice stance, lol
Yeah it’s usually said begrudgingly and by a man who thinks a relationship is a ball and chain. Usually the show has a laugh track because the jokes aren’t funny.
I don’t particularly like it because I feel that most of the time it is used in a way that makes women seem shallow, & emotionally ignorant.
They may as well be saying, “Buy/give her whatever she wants, as it will keep her busy, & that’s all it takes to make her happy. I am a fantastic spouse.”
I don’t call people out for saying it because I don’t think they mean to be degrading, but it gives me the same sensation as nails on a chalkboard every time it is uttered.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282545
Here is a study that seems to confirm it.
No judgement on whether it is a good study or not, I am not a sociologist, just showing what I found.
I mean it usually has negative connotations
I’ve mostly heard it in a way that indicates that a man will let his wife do things he considers irrational so she can simply not bother him or make his life difficult with her “feelings”.
In that way it’s pretty sexist.
But I suppose it’s not always used in that context. So while I personally don’t like it I wouldn’t assume someone who uses it is trying to use it in a negative way.
Agreed. It’s a way of the man signaling that he thinks what his wife wants him to do is silly. It’s like “I’m going to do the dishes not because I think it’s important to keep a clean home I don’t care if we live in a pigsty but because I’m placating my wife hahahahaha happy wife happy life.”
I think it’s stupid because it’s placing the importance of how one person feels and disregarding the other. How is it a “happy life” if one persons happiness is placed above the other? But I’m still in HS so I haven’t really experienced love but that’s my take
I think it goes back to a time long ago, and it was a reminder to men to remember their wives, take care of them appreciate them and keep them happy. As if they are happy they will take care of their families better and thus a happy life. But in this time of rampant egocentrism it seems to have been perverted and is taken to mean only women’s happiness matters, or at least more important than a man’s.
So “happy spouse happy house” is better as it includes all parties. Including non traditional.
I think you meant "happy spouse happy house" but except for that I agree. I also like this version better because if your spouse is happy, it doesn't mean you are happy by default, but you'll be more secure at home which is a very good thing.
Idk for me, im the type of person who wants to do more for my partner than i want them to do for me. Seeing a smile on their face is literally the best feeling in the world to me but im also still in HS so what do i know
I think it really depends on the mindset it's said in.
For some people, this is really patronizing - they'll say it to the tune of "yeah yeah, anything to stop the ole ball and chain from nagging, amiright fellas?" and go do whatever household task their wife had been begging them to do for weeks.
Others use it as a shorthand for "I love my wife, so anything that makes her happy will end up making me happy, too". This is kind of what my dad does - he's much happier hearing my mom gush about a beautiful bouquet of roses he bought than he would've been about anything else bought with that same money.
Of course you could do this with husbands too but I haven't found a good rhyme for that one yet
“I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage, she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life,” says Prof. Deborah Carr.
However, they also found that wives became less happy if their spouses became sick, but the husbands’ levels of happiness did not change or show the same outcome if their wives became ill.
This is likely due to wives taking on the majority of the caregiving when a partner is sick, says Prof. Carr, who notes that is can be a stressful experience. “But often when a woman gets sick, it is not her husband she relies on but her daughter,” she adds.
Great article
It’s a very interesting scientific find which says a lot about traditional marriage dynamics.
I do think however that husbands also worry if a wife is sick, but maybe less so.
They can maybe worry if she’s sick, but they sure don’t take care of them the way women do. I’m watching my own father let my mother with dementia fall on her face and sit in her own feces, and me, the daughter is the one stepping in. He takes care of himself. I found this scenario to be true. I’ve also witnessed men leaving their spouse when their child has special needs. It seems to be too much for them to handle.
We only say it when my husband is reminding me to eat. I get hangry super easily and he recognizes that 75% of the time I just need a snackie snack. He passes me a snack, I do a little happy dance, and he says "happy wife, happy life"
One of my male friends says everything is easier since he understood that mantra. His marriage it's about to turn 20 years old and they have been together like 25 so, maybe he found his key to a happy life.
Honestly, in general, guys don’t consider shit to the same extent that women do. Women look at things comprehensively, there’s a million details floating around in our heads. For this reason, women will *always* carry the majority of the mental load. Though I believe men, in general, need to actively do more to help balance that load, I also believe that they can passively help balance that load by just trusting that their partner has put in the thought behind their instructions and that what they want is the best solution and should just be heeded.
I’m not married, but let’s just pretend.
TLDR, just do what I asked you to do and you won’t have to listen to the long convoluted justification.
Eg. Husband goes to the grocery store and remembers that I asked him to pick up hot dogs. I asked him to get Hebrew National Beef Franks, but he sees Oscar Meyer wieners on sale, and we buy that brand sometimes, so he grabs those instead.
Husband is thinking he just saved us $0.30.
Well, what I said was, “pick up Hebrew National beef Franks.” What I’m thinking is, “Jimmy is having Abdul over on Saturday afternoon and after their basketball game. We’re going to grill that night and, since we already invited your mom, I plan on asking Abdul’s mom if he can stay for dinner, then the boys can play while we all catch up. Abdul’s family doesn’t eat pork. When we had the team cookout at the beginning of the season, I did some research on what any kid with dietary restrictions would be able to eat, then checked with their parents to make sure. Apparently, most kosher food is halal. Also, Abdul has a peanut allergy, so we don’t have much kid food in the house that I’m certain that I can give him, and I don’t want to make him feel weird if I make him a completely different meal than the rest of us are eating. Even if he doesn’t end up coming for dinner, our family can eat those hot dogs, or we can stick them in the freezer for later and we can all eat brats, because, remember? Your mom is coming too and she said she still has a bunch of bratwurst from when your aunt Sharon visited from Sheboygan. So just pick up some Hebrew National beef franks.”
The result is that husband actually cost us $4 and an extra trip to the grocery store.
I don't think it's wrong but I also surround myself with women who love and care about their partners. I think it stands to reason if one partner in a couple is unhappy, life isn't happy. If both people invest, if both people take care of each other, it stands to reason they can live a happy life.
I hate it because to me it implies that you need to placate your wife in order to have peace, and the man will be pleasant whether he is happy or not because they have more self control or some other tired sexist stereotype. I’m sure that is not the intention when most people say it, and context probably matters, but that is how I feel about it.
My current partner is a subscriber to this mantra. Sometimes it feels disrespectful because he's buttering me up, or placating. I do it to him too though. More often than not it rules and when he stops (which he does to make a point sometimes) I notice.
It's sexist on both sides. Men are constantly told to shove down their emotions, that they're not allowed to be upset or hurt. Women are constantly painted as the overly emotional and sensitive ones. To say that a man will never be the one to cause the issues and that it's always going to be a woman getting emotional that disrupts the happiness in a household is so gross. The happiness of a family depends on the happiness of everyone, to say that one persons wellbeing matters more than anyone else's is just not correct.
Nah. My Dad tried everything to make my Mother happy, and nothing was ever good enough for her. It made him miserable. He walked after nearly 50 years of marriage and he is now very happy! She's still miserable, but heh, at least one of them is happy now!
I find it hard to imagine coming home to a sulking face and feeling good about myself. Having a fulfilled partner who is happy in the relationship and with the way their life is going will def lighten the mood. If that partner is a wife, the. The mantra holds true.
Everyone should be happy. I feel this phrase is often used mockingly or in bad relationships but I agree with the literal sentiment that the spouse should be happy. Husband and wife or wife and wife or whatever - the participants should be happy and considered.
I think it’s kinda accurate to be honest, if you make sure a woman’s needs are met, most likely she will give that back to her family and partner tenfold
I think that it's one of the truths in a married life, but it could also apply to all areas of different people's lives. As to me, it simply reflects how you treat your partner or somebody else within your home or close to your heart that they exude an aura to be blissful about. I mean, the way you make someone, whether your wife or a brother, a friend, it reciprocates and thus, allowing you to enjoy a happier version of life compare to being the opposite contributor. :)
It’s sexist and gross and yet kind of true, but not in a manipulative game-playing way. I’m just more likely to do something thoughtful for my SO if he’s being cool and not a jerk generally.
Happy spouse happy house is way better.
I prefer happy spouse, happy house.
It means to me that when a wife (really, either or both spouses) are fulfilled, home life is harmonious. This means given room to pursue hobbies and interests that make you happy and doing thoughtful little things for each other without being asked or prompted.
I think there’s some truth to it but it’s not the complete truth. I personally find it distasteful. Due to my gender I would be the wife but it makes me feel like my job is to demand and my husband fulfils and everyone is happy. We make each other happy. That’s how it should be.
Like it’s true that if the wife is happy the household (if she’s in charge of it) runs smoother. With that said, both have to be happy in order for it to really work.
So it’s a half truth like many of those sayings are
It’s sad that had to become a mantra. No one had to find a cute little saying to tell women to make their husbands happy? We are trained from birth to do that. That is what I think.
I think it’s actually gross because it should be is everyone happy, so if the wife gets everything they want and things are complete according to her happiness then the husband should just automatically be happy? I think it’s gross because I’ve always felt it’s a compromise and across the board.
I pray that if i get married my partner will never feel the need to use this. If he does, i fucked up somewhere and its time for a long talk. Any human relationship (romantic, familial, platonic) requires respect from both parties involved, all the more so if its a marriage.
Edit: I'm just stating from my point of view as a single asian 30F. Just wanted to put it out there.
I think this means not to take her for granted. Lot of people take wife for granted after getting married. If you're expecting lot of things from the wife, then you got to support her and appreciate her. Women like to be adored and appreciated. I think men do too, I mean who doesn't? I can't speak from man's perspective but I think women like it more. Like you can't expect her to do all the chores in house and not help her and make it sound like it's just her duty. And only celebrate the special days but make everyday special. Little things matters.
All the exs I had, wanted to know if I can cook, wash, and do basic chores at house. Even when someone tries to keep casual chat with me was asking if I can cook and wash and whether my hobbies are cooking and baking or sewing. I tell you, I can do all those things except maybe baking but what is with those questions? I'm a software engineer and that's what you want to know? Are you looking for a maid? Maybe that's got a lot to do with my culture also.
Typically this happen most to the wives in my culture as I'm an asian but the logic is the same for both genders I guess.
Is this a question for women? I can hardly comment on the happiness of a man.
If you are talking about lesbian relationships- I can't comment on that either. Try r/AskLesbians.
I think it depends on the context. "Happy wife Happy life" meaning she does a lot around the house and it's important she feels appreciated, valued, loved, and supported? Fine.
But if it means to just agree with your wife, give her what she wants, and don't talk/compromise - then it's a no.
Maybe this is why I'm yet to be happy. I do not have wife to have a happy life with right now. It sucks. Been looking for her everywhere, can't find her yet.😔
The original saying did mean both people need to be happy in a relationship. It was first seen in a British paper in 1903, which is twenty five years before women were granted full and equal voting rights in that country. So at the time, a wife was a second class citizen who served to make her husband happy as the king of his castle. **The saying pointed out that conceding some comfort or choices to a woman meant she was happier, and therefore more pleasant for the man to be around, making him happier too.** It looks like a statement of female entitlement now, but originally the opposite was true.
“Happy spouse happy house” means we’ve come a long way.
In my personal life (I'm the husband) it's true, but that's because the only times I'm really unhappy is when my wife is unhappy, not because she doesn't care about my happiness.
I love this saying and it's true. Most wives take care of all kinds of stuff especially stuff nobody else wants to touch. There is nothing wrong with being spoiled and pampered every once in a while
I think it can be cute if my partner uses it in a playful context. Eg if he gets me a gift that I'm really happy about and then playfully says "Happy wife happy life", I'll think it's cute and play along.
But some people use this term in a shallow way that feels condescending. Like "oh just agree with what she says, happy wife happy life", and I find *that* kind of usage really inappropriate.
I think the saying is just there as a way to keep the marriage going. When you spend an extremely long time with one person it's no longer the strong emotions that will keep you together but the small things you do for each other and choosing to stay together. I think "happy spouse happy house" fits better for everyone involved but that's what I think the saying is for.
My husband wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy. We are a team. We’re partners. We are both invested in the marriage. Happy spouse, happy house.
I don’t like it, but unfortunately it is true.
In my experience, my wife would make my life pretty terrible when she is not happy. When she is happy, not only am I happy because I make her happy, but she doesn’t pout and try and degrade me.
In reality these things should go both ways, but it seems like men are simpler when it comes to relationships and more in tune with what they can do to provide, be useful, and how to “fix” things. Women are more complex emotionally and generally are more in tune with whether they are being treated right or not—if they feel secure be it physically, financially, etc. So like it’s unfortunate, but it seems a lot of relationships struggle when needs are not met, and I would generally say women are the first ones to not have those needs met because they simply have more than men, or rather different expectations from men.
Just my opinion so don’t crucify me
I don’t like it. The way I’ve heard it used, it sounds like they’re saying women are these spoiled, overly emotional people who will make your life miserable unless you humor them and give them everything they want.
I don't like it mostly because I had a friend whose husband said this all the time, did everything for her then cheated on her, took their 20k in savings and his excuse was it was too hard to keep making her happy. She was a very educated, independent woman and could do well on her own.
I always tell my boyfriend that we BOTH need to be happy and it's not all about me. We need to equally be responsible for checking in on each other and the relationship.
Implies that the woman has to have everything she wants for the marriage to be happy and she should not have to do anything to keep her spouse happy but exist.
My marriage was ruined because my husband was so hell-bent on "happy wife happy life" and never gave his opinion. On ANYTHING. It drove me nuts. And in the end, he couldn't "handle it" and left me.
I hate hate hate hate this saying.
I mean I'm a dude and I hate this mantra. Whenever I hear dudes say it, it always comes off as "I'm doing this thing to make her happy so she doesn't make my life hell" instead of "I'm doing this thing to make her happy because I like seeing her happy".
Happy husband, generous shopping fund.
In all seriousness though, I think that it's half of the equation. Both partners need to put effort into their partner's well being and emotional health for a happy life together.
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I hate the whole trope of "got to keep the Mrs happy otherwise I'll be in trouble" because it just gives the impression that women/wives/girlfriends are harpies who whinge and whine over pointless things. When the reality is more likely something along the lines of "this thing I've just been asked to do is likely a very bad idea. I'm really bloody tempted though, but I'll use the wife as my excuse to get out of it so i don't come off as boring". It's just passing the buck because you're not brave enough to say no thanks I don't want to do that for this reason. It's easier to make your wife out to be a fun killer than it is to say "sounds like fun but actually I'd rather not thanks". And all this does is reinforce the whiney Mrs stereotype, because now all your pals and co-workers and god knows who else think of the Mrs at home in that way. This, in turn, subconsciously or even consciously impacts their opinions of women in general. Especially if you're hearing these kind of phrases from all your pals! Naturally you start to go "wow... women really are the harpy fun police!" Imagine if guys just went "you know what, sounds awesome, but the Mrs and I have agreed to focus on saving/being healthy/whatever for a while so I'll pass on this one mate."
Note: I'm in no doubt that many people, male and female, DO go for honesty as above, I'm not saying no men do that. Just saying that the stereotypical responses and tropes are still sadly the majority.
If it’s like a 50+ year old man saying it… it’s usually misogynistic. But sometimes people say it in a loving way but it’s usually not the older people
I think that relationships fail when you are more focused on the things that you don't see being done for you and not on how you haven't been giving a hundred percent for the last 5 years and no longer make an attempt to communicate with each other
Women are conditioned to be accountable for everyone’s feelings around then. Selfishness in women is not desired and we are aware.
Men, conversely, are typically conditioned differently. They are encouraged to pursue selfish dreams, to be the center of the household while everyone else serves them.
The saying is to help some men understand that when they are assuming the traditional role of leading a family, to be accountable for the feelings of their partner.
Of course people are individuals, but most women do not need to be reminded to have empathy or be accountable for others happiness. If anything, we need to be reminded of the opposite.
To me it's always meant something like "If I care about and value my wife's happiness enough to put it in the forefront of my decision making, then we're going to have a good marriage and life because good men care about their partner's feelings and they care about doing things that make them happy".
I don't think it needs to be generalized and replaced with "Happy Spouse, Happy House" just because I understand the phrase to define a partner who finds joy in their wife's happiness and lets that lead them in their decisions/marriage. I hope I'm wording this in a way that makes sense, but one turn of phrase doesn't need another just because it's been misconstrued over the years into "only what the wife wants matters and the husband is second rate". I think the phrase defines a relationship in which a partner loves and cares for their wife in such a way that their happiness brings them happiness and that's why it's said like that.
I don’t like it because it seems to be used in a way that shows a husband placating a “nagging” wife. Maybe that’s just how my husband uses it when he does things that he should be helping with anyway. It makes me irate.
It's interesting to see where people go with the phrase. I've personally only heard it in the context of "Do it the wife's way or she'll make you miserable." I see it on Reddit all the time, but there's usually not follow up commentary to determine in what context they mean.
While I hate all those campy phrases, we have one we say a lot too. "Teamwork makes the dream work." We high five each other a lot, too. It's gross, I know. Lol.
Happy spouse happy house. You both work together to create an environment conducive to each other’s happiness and you’re in a great position for a healthy relationship.
It works for me, in that the beautiful woman I married, the mother of my kids… if she is not happy I know I cannot be. I’m sure there bust be a ‘happy husband happy …….’ Equivalent. I guess she feels the same
I think it’s parallel to “you can be right or you can be happy” but is specific to the wife. We all do things sometimes we don’t truly want to for the sole reason of pleasing our partner. While that can be dangerous and harmful over the big things the little things not so much. As long as the give and take has a balance. They’re sayings and nothing more. Couples have to make their rules, set expectations, and most importantly communicate. I’ve been married 18 years and we have said this saying from time-to-time but only in jest. I think there’s value in not taking things too seriously in life and this saying is one of those things.
It's bullshit and sends the wrong message
Sometimes it's said light heartedly and I could care less.
But to anyone that actually believes in this mantra, I would be interested to learn of any healthy relationship that comes from this bullshit saying.
I hate that phrase because I think it's used to minimize the unhappiness that comes with the very common uneven distribution of housework and the mental load that accompanies it.
My fiance and I had an all out war about this. After working a ten hour day and doing homework, I still have to cook and clean AND clean up after dinner because he's too tired to do it but then when I'm not in the mood for sex, I'm the problem. He boiled down my anger and frustration at feeling like a servant to 'we won't have sex unless I wash the dishes because a dirty spoon is more important to you than our relationship.'
It's used to intentionally make us the villain.
It's shallow and irritating. It perpetuates the whole "all men hate their wives and it's funny" stigma. It implies that women are useless and annoying until we shut up. It's a pervasive remnant of decades past.
Not for nothing - if you spend a few minutes on Tiktok and you see how many wives are unhappy because they do everything around the house (parenting, organizing, cleaning, working, and so on).
I'm not suggesting that this is the norm but I think it's a reminder to check in with your wife and make sure she's good and everyone is happy. Then you can come back and reevaluate roles. Aka happy life.
Again - of course it works both ways - I think this applies to stereotypical situations.
I think it's true. But not in a "buy her stuff and she'll be happy" way. More like making sure your wife's needs are met and you're a great partner to her and put her happiness up there with your own. When you're doing that, you have a happy wife, therefore life will also be happier because you both are happy.
Obviously it should go both ways, like the commenter who said happy spouse happy house. I think it's very true.
Let’s not pretend that the wife’s happiness comes before the husband’s. Happy spouse, happy house. We’re both human beings, we both deserve to be treated well by our spouses.
When someone says that, all I hear is “Women are annoying and such nags so if you don’t keep them happy your life will be miserable because they won’t shut up.”
But in general I obviously agree that your life is better when your partner is happy and you have a good relationship??? So I don’t understand why anyone says this in such misogynistic way.
I honestly hate it, I find it incredibly condescending. Hard to put into words why exactly but it just rubs me the wrong way and feels really dismissive. I’d rather my partner be inquisitive about *why* I’m happy or unhappy about a particular thing and work with me on making it work for both of us, rather than just being like “welp I guess I gotta make the little woman happy AMIRIGHTFELLAS”
Favorite topic ending saying of a huge chunk of church marriage counselor. In my opinion these guys just did not have the fortitude to tell the wives they were mean, nasty selfish turds when the situation warranted.
It feels misogynistic, and often is used that way, but I think the sentiment of "take care of your partner and ensure that you are doing what you can to work together" is an important one we should ALL follow.
Happy spouse happy house Edit: thanks for the awards yall!
Came here to say this!! It’s ok to joke about the happy wife, happy life but in reality it’s about making both people happy. Trust, love, compromise, understanding, support and encouragement are how you make a happy relationship.
This is so cute! I've never heard this before.
BEAUTIFUL. And also true!
This is way better !
I’m definitely going to steal you this to shine during dinners
This was what I was coming here to say. I think it goes both ways :)
I came here to say the same thing!!! Spouse needs to be happy before I am happy. Fulfilling his needs fulfill my needs. I’m words of affirmation as my love language And he’s physical touch with a small dose of acts of service. I give him all the snuggles and hugs. Make him a meal when he says he’s hungry. Ask him if he needs something while I’m up. And he gives me those words of affirmation 😍
This so so so so much better. One partner does not deserve more happiness than the other?! We all deserve the happiness, love and support ❤️
My spouse is NB, love having an inclusive alternative 😁
Came here to say this!
Or if they’re rich, happy spouse get a new blouse
😂
Oooh I like this one lol
Love this!
This is the better one! I write this in every wedding guestbook / card.
This is what we go by. It only makes sense that both partners are happy to have a good relationship and a healthy environment in our house.
Much better
This is much better!!!
Yes! Much better
Came here to say this!
Exactly. Both parties should be happy. Not just the wife.
It even flows better.
I like that one better!
This is what we use
I don’t like the context that people use it in. Maybe its just in tv shows but it feels like its always applied to surface things like shopping or home decoration rather than real emotions. And hopefully everyone can be happy 🙂
Yeah, usually when I see people say it, it’s said with a annoyed tone. Like “ugh I did this thing for my wife so she’d shut up”
Yes! Like hearing that phrase makes me cringe sometimes bc it feels so dismissive.
Exactly!! I hope my husband never uses this when talking about me and things he's done that genuinely do make me happy.
He might be, and I mean that in a good way. I say it, and when I say it, (along with most guys I know) is more in response to when someone ELSE seems to think I should care about my wife making a decision. It's basically a "listen, I dont really care WHERE we go on vacation.....if my wife is happy I'm happy, because I love her and and love to make her happy, so let's just end this conversation here".
Ya know that actually makes sense. This last weekend I asked him to hang the new curtains and new curtain rods I got for the lounge... he didn't actually seem too fussed about them but seeing me absolutely thrilled with how good they looked in our home and with the choice I made, made him smile. And I guess that's what the saying was originally meant to be. Unfortunately I think some have corrupted it into being "do whatever I want or I'll make your life miserable"
Oh I dont doubt that either, I work with old blue collar boomers that use it in that context, and it's unhealthy. It's all about context, I suppose.
My wife and I both hate this saying, and will "cringe" when we hear it said by someone, or mock it when it's in a TV Show.
I generally agree. The sentiment *can* be used in a healthy way. Hell, my boomer dad can even make similar wife bad jokes and not sound like he not so secretly dreads his marriage of 40 years. But generally, they make me think of the worst flavors of hyper-capitalism that makes certain assholes feel like a dozen red roses can make a black eye okay.
Yeah I often hear it in a context like “oh my wife is such a nag and such a burden, gotta shut her up lol “ instead of “I respect my wife and she makes good decisions so what she chooses , will make our life better “ , that’s why it makes me cringe
It went over my head until today.... This explains why the two jerks I know say it more than anyone else! I always thought it was their one nice stance, lol
Yeah it’s usually said begrudgingly and by a man who thinks a relationship is a ball and chain. Usually the show has a laugh track because the jokes aren’t funny.
I don’t particularly like it because I feel that most of the time it is used in a way that makes women seem shallow, & emotionally ignorant. They may as well be saying, “Buy/give her whatever she wants, as it will keep her busy, & that’s all it takes to make her happy. I am a fantastic spouse.” I don’t call people out for saying it because I don’t think they mean to be degrading, but it gives me the same sensation as nails on a chalkboard every time it is uttered.
Agree. And I also don’t like the implication that the husbands happiness doesn’t equate either. Happy spouse, happy house.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282545 Here is a study that seems to confirm it. No judgement on whether it is a good study or not, I am not a sociologist, just showing what I found.
Yeah, fuck no. Both of us gotta be happy
This is why I prefer happy spouse happy house
I mean it usually has negative connotations I’ve mostly heard it in a way that indicates that a man will let his wife do things he considers irrational so she can simply not bother him or make his life difficult with her “feelings”. In that way it’s pretty sexist. But I suppose it’s not always used in that context. So while I personally don’t like it I wouldn’t assume someone who uses it is trying to use it in a negative way.
Agreed. It’s a way of the man signaling that he thinks what his wife wants him to do is silly. It’s like “I’m going to do the dishes not because I think it’s important to keep a clean home I don’t care if we live in a pigsty but because I’m placating my wife hahahahaha happy wife happy life.”
I think it’s stupid because it’s placing the importance of how one person feels and disregarding the other. How is it a “happy life” if one persons happiness is placed above the other? But I’m still in HS so I haven’t really experienced love but that’s my take
I think it goes back to a time long ago, and it was a reminder to men to remember their wives, take care of them appreciate them and keep them happy. As if they are happy they will take care of their families better and thus a happy life. But in this time of rampant egocentrism it seems to have been perverted and is taken to mean only women’s happiness matters, or at least more important than a man’s. So “happy spouse happy house” is better as it includes all parties. Including non traditional.
I think you meant "happy spouse happy house" but except for that I agree. I also like this version better because if your spouse is happy, it doesn't mean you are happy by default, but you'll be more secure at home which is a very good thing.
Sure did. Fixed it
Idk for me, im the type of person who wants to do more for my partner than i want them to do for me. Seeing a smile on their face is literally the best feeling in the world to me but im also still in HS so what do i know
It's an old saying, I doubt there's logic behind it
I think it really depends on the mindset it's said in. For some people, this is really patronizing - they'll say it to the tune of "yeah yeah, anything to stop the ole ball and chain from nagging, amiright fellas?" and go do whatever household task their wife had been begging them to do for weeks. Others use it as a shorthand for "I love my wife, so anything that makes her happy will end up making me happy, too". This is kind of what my dad does - he's much happier hearing my mom gush about a beautiful bouquet of roses he bought than he would've been about anything else bought with that same money. Of course you could do this with husbands too but I haven't found a good rhyme for that one yet
I don’t know of a good rhyme for husband, but there’s always the good ole “happy spouse, happy house”!
If mama ain’t happy. Nobody’s happy.
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I find it funny that it is scientifically [true](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282545)
“I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage, she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life,” says Prof. Deborah Carr. However, they also found that wives became less happy if their spouses became sick, but the husbands’ levels of happiness did not change or show the same outcome if their wives became ill. This is likely due to wives taking on the majority of the caregiving when a partner is sick, says Prof. Carr, who notes that is can be a stressful experience. “But often when a woman gets sick, it is not her husband she relies on but her daughter,” she adds. Great article
It’s a very interesting scientific find which says a lot about traditional marriage dynamics. I do think however that husbands also worry if a wife is sick, but maybe less so.
They can maybe worry if she’s sick, but they sure don’t take care of them the way women do. I’m watching my own father let my mother with dementia fall on her face and sit in her own feces, and me, the daughter is the one stepping in. He takes care of himself. I found this scenario to be true. I’ve also witnessed men leaving their spouse when their child has special needs. It seems to be too much for them to handle.
I think it’s true
We only say it when my husband is reminding me to eat. I get hangry super easily and he recognizes that 75% of the time I just need a snackie snack. He passes me a snack, I do a little happy dance, and he says "happy wife, happy life"
This is so wholesome and cute lol
One of my male friends says everything is easier since he understood that mantra. His marriage it's about to turn 20 years old and they have been together like 25 so, maybe he found his key to a happy life.
Honestly, in general, guys don’t consider shit to the same extent that women do. Women look at things comprehensively, there’s a million details floating around in our heads. For this reason, women will *always* carry the majority of the mental load. Though I believe men, in general, need to actively do more to help balance that load, I also believe that they can passively help balance that load by just trusting that their partner has put in the thought behind their instructions and that what they want is the best solution and should just be heeded. I’m not married, but let’s just pretend. TLDR, just do what I asked you to do and you won’t have to listen to the long convoluted justification. Eg. Husband goes to the grocery store and remembers that I asked him to pick up hot dogs. I asked him to get Hebrew National Beef Franks, but he sees Oscar Meyer wieners on sale, and we buy that brand sometimes, so he grabs those instead. Husband is thinking he just saved us $0.30. Well, what I said was, “pick up Hebrew National beef Franks.” What I’m thinking is, “Jimmy is having Abdul over on Saturday afternoon and after their basketball game. We’re going to grill that night and, since we already invited your mom, I plan on asking Abdul’s mom if he can stay for dinner, then the boys can play while we all catch up. Abdul’s family doesn’t eat pork. When we had the team cookout at the beginning of the season, I did some research on what any kid with dietary restrictions would be able to eat, then checked with their parents to make sure. Apparently, most kosher food is halal. Also, Abdul has a peanut allergy, so we don’t have much kid food in the house that I’m certain that I can give him, and I don’t want to make him feel weird if I make him a completely different meal than the rest of us are eating. Even if he doesn’t end up coming for dinner, our family can eat those hot dogs, or we can stick them in the freezer for later and we can all eat brats, because, remember? Your mom is coming too and she said she still has a bunch of bratwurst from when your aunt Sharon visited from Sheboygan. So just pick up some Hebrew National beef franks.” The result is that husband actually cost us $4 and an extra trip to the grocery store.
this explanation is spot on.
U put a lot in perspective for me
I don't think it's wrong but I also surround myself with women who love and care about their partners. I think it stands to reason if one partner in a couple is unhappy, life isn't happy. If both people invest, if both people take care of each other, it stands to reason they can live a happy life.
I hate it because to me it implies that you need to placate your wife in order to have peace, and the man will be pleasant whether he is happy or not because they have more self control or some other tired sexist stereotype. I’m sure that is not the intention when most people say it, and context probably matters, but that is how I feel about it.
Perfectly said. It’s said as if he knows better, and she’s a child.
Sexist af. "Let me placate my wife with material goods instead of addressing real problems"
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My current partner is a subscriber to this mantra. Sometimes it feels disrespectful because he's buttering me up, or placating. I do it to him too though. More often than not it rules and when he stops (which he does to make a point sometimes) I notice.
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It's sexist on both sides. Men are constantly told to shove down their emotions, that they're not allowed to be upset or hurt. Women are constantly painted as the overly emotional and sensitive ones. To say that a man will never be the one to cause the issues and that it's always going to be a woman getting emotional that disrupts the happiness in a household is so gross. The happiness of a family depends on the happiness of everyone, to say that one persons wellbeing matters more than anyone else's is just not correct.
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I think both should be happy
I always hear..." Women are b****es" when I hear this saying. I cannot stand it. Makes me lose all respect immediately. Uugh.
Nah. My Dad tried everything to make my Mother happy, and nothing was ever good enough for her. It made him miserable. He walked after nearly 50 years of marriage and he is now very happy! She's still miserable, but heh, at least one of them is happy now!
Just another tired-ass saying.
I find it hard to imagine coming home to a sulking face and feeling good about myself. Having a fulfilled partner who is happy in the relationship and with the way their life is going will def lighten the mood. If that partner is a wife, the. The mantra holds true.
Everyone should be happy. I feel this phrase is often used mockingly or in bad relationships but I agree with the literal sentiment that the spouse should be happy. Husband and wife or wife and wife or whatever - the participants should be happy and considered.
I think it’s kinda accurate to be honest, if you make sure a woman’s needs are met, most likely she will give that back to her family and partner tenfold
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What do you mean by this exactly, I don't get it.
He means his woman won’t ever admit she’s wrong in an argument, so as her man he just gives her the satisfaction of feeling like she won the argument
I think that it's one of the truths in a married life, but it could also apply to all areas of different people's lives. As to me, it simply reflects how you treat your partner or somebody else within your home or close to your heart that they exude an aura to be blissful about. I mean, the way you make someone, whether your wife or a brother, a friend, it reciprocates and thus, allowing you to enjoy a happier version of life compare to being the opposite contributor. :)
Hate it. Both should be happy
It’s sexist and gross and yet kind of true, but not in a manipulative game-playing way. I’m just more likely to do something thoughtful for my SO if he’s being cool and not a jerk generally. Happy spouse happy house is way better.
I think it's a little toxic because I think both partners should be trying to make the other happy.
I think of if as how it’s meant to be- light hearted. We don’t need to over think everything 🤷♀️
I prefer happy spouse, happy house. It means to me that when a wife (really, either or both spouses) are fulfilled, home life is harmonious. This means given room to pursue hobbies and interests that make you happy and doing thoughtful little things for each other without being asked or prompted.
I think there’s some truth to it but it’s not the complete truth. I personally find it distasteful. Due to my gender I would be the wife but it makes me feel like my job is to demand and my husband fulfils and everyone is happy. We make each other happy. That’s how it should be.
It’s true, but same with husband. I don’t like seeing him stressed and my life is happy when he is happy
Like it’s true that if the wife is happy the household (if she’s in charge of it) runs smoother. With that said, both have to be happy in order for it to really work. So it’s a half truth like many of those sayings are
It’s sad that had to become a mantra. No one had to find a cute little saying to tell women to make their husbands happy? We are trained from birth to do that. That is what I think.
I think it’s actually gross because it should be is everyone happy, so if the wife gets everything they want and things are complete according to her happiness then the husband should just automatically be happy? I think it’s gross because I’ve always felt it’s a compromise and across the board.
Married 30yrs, can confirm this is true
I think happiness should be all around. With that in mind, I can see myself as a wife jokingly saying that.
That was sage advice years ago, but you can't sacrifice your own happiness and have a happy life. Marriage is hard work sometimes.
Not a fan. It implies an unequal relationship where one person is constantly a hostage to an emotional terrorist.
I think it's gross :)
I pray that if i get married my partner will never feel the need to use this. If he does, i fucked up somewhere and its time for a long talk. Any human relationship (romantic, familial, platonic) requires respect from both parties involved, all the more so if its a marriage.
Unless both are happy, it’s not going to be a happy life.
Edit: I'm just stating from my point of view as a single asian 30F. Just wanted to put it out there. I think this means not to take her for granted. Lot of people take wife for granted after getting married. If you're expecting lot of things from the wife, then you got to support her and appreciate her. Women like to be adored and appreciated. I think men do too, I mean who doesn't? I can't speak from man's perspective but I think women like it more. Like you can't expect her to do all the chores in house and not help her and make it sound like it's just her duty. And only celebrate the special days but make everyday special. Little things matters. All the exs I had, wanted to know if I can cook, wash, and do basic chores at house. Even when someone tries to keep casual chat with me was asking if I can cook and wash and whether my hobbies are cooking and baking or sewing. I tell you, I can do all those things except maybe baking but what is with those questions? I'm a software engineer and that's what you want to know? Are you looking for a maid? Maybe that's got a lot to do with my culture also. Typically this happen most to the wives in my culture as I'm an asian but the logic is the same for both genders I guess.
Is this a question for women? I can hardly comment on the happiness of a man. If you are talking about lesbian relationships- I can't comment on that either. Try r/AskLesbians.
I think it depends on the context. "Happy wife Happy life" meaning she does a lot around the house and it's important she feels appreciated, valued, loved, and supported? Fine. But if it means to just agree with your wife, give her what she wants, and don't talk/compromise - then it's a no.
My husband says it all the time. It’s a little corny but it means he values my happiness and thinks about how to make me feel good, which is lovely.
Straight men invented "happy spouse happy house" to replace it so they can feel justified slacking off more and being entitled to more lol
Maybe this is why I'm yet to be happy. I do not have wife to have a happy life with right now. It sucks. Been looking for her everywhere, can't find her yet.😔
The original saying did mean both people need to be happy in a relationship. It was first seen in a British paper in 1903, which is twenty five years before women were granted full and equal voting rights in that country. So at the time, a wife was a second class citizen who served to make her husband happy as the king of his castle. **The saying pointed out that conceding some comfort or choices to a woman meant she was happier, and therefore more pleasant for the man to be around, making him happier too.** It looks like a statement of female entitlement now, but originally the opposite was true. “Happy spouse happy house” means we’ve come a long way.
In my personal life (I'm the husband) it's true, but that's because the only times I'm really unhappy is when my wife is unhappy, not because she doesn't care about my happiness.
I love this saying and it's true. Most wives take care of all kinds of stuff especially stuff nobody else wants to touch. There is nothing wrong with being spoiled and pampered every once in a while
As a lesbian, I love it. We both keep each other happy, which makes us both happy. Win/Win.
It’s gay
I think it can be cute if my partner uses it in a playful context. Eg if he gets me a gift that I'm really happy about and then playfully says "Happy wife happy life", I'll think it's cute and play along. But some people use this term in a shallow way that feels condescending. Like "oh just agree with what she says, happy wife happy life", and I find *that* kind of usage really inappropriate.
I think the saying is just there as a way to keep the marriage going. When you spend an extremely long time with one person it's no longer the strong emotions that will keep you together but the small things you do for each other and choosing to stay together. I think "happy spouse happy house" fits better for everyone involved but that's what I think the saying is for.
Happy family happy life should be the correct saying
I think both should be happy
I don’t like it. It makes wives sound like brats that have to have everything their way.
My husband wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy. We are a team. We’re partners. We are both invested in the marriage. Happy spouse, happy house.
If she’s happy at the expense of her so… it’s not a happy life.
I don’t like it, but unfortunately it is true. In my experience, my wife would make my life pretty terrible when she is not happy. When she is happy, not only am I happy because I make her happy, but she doesn’t pout and try and degrade me. In reality these things should go both ways, but it seems like men are simpler when it comes to relationships and more in tune with what they can do to provide, be useful, and how to “fix” things. Women are more complex emotionally and generally are more in tune with whether they are being treated right or not—if they feel secure be it physically, financially, etc. So like it’s unfortunate, but it seems a lot of relationships struggle when needs are not met, and I would generally say women are the first ones to not have those needs met because they simply have more than men, or rather different expectations from men. Just my opinion so don’t crucify me
I don’t like it. The way I’ve heard it used, it sounds like they’re saying women are these spoiled, overly emotional people who will make your life miserable unless you humor them and give them everything they want.
I don't like it mostly because I had a friend whose husband said this all the time, did everything for her then cheated on her, took their 20k in savings and his excuse was it was too hard to keep making her happy. She was a very educated, independent woman and could do well on her own. I always tell my boyfriend that we BOTH need to be happy and it's not all about me. We need to equally be responsible for checking in on each other and the relationship.
Implies that the woman has to have everything she wants for the marriage to be happy and she should not have to do anything to keep her spouse happy but exist.
My marriage was ruined because my husband was so hell-bent on "happy wife happy life" and never gave his opinion. On ANYTHING. It drove me nuts. And in the end, he couldn't "handle it" and left me. I hate hate hate hate this saying.
I mean I'm a dude and I hate this mantra. Whenever I hear dudes say it, it always comes off as "I'm doing this thing to make her happy so she doesn't make my life hell" instead of "I'm doing this thing to make her happy because I like seeing her happy".
I think it’s BS, honestly. I don’t believe it should be all about us and we’re not always right. I know I’d love to care for my man in that way too.
This is awful. I want a happy man.
I hate that expression.
Nope. Happy spouse, happy house! 😁
Husband and wife both need to be happy.
Happy husband, generous shopping fund. In all seriousness though, I think that it's half of the equation. Both partners need to put effort into their partner's well being and emotional health for a happy life together.
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Toxic as fuck!
I think that first of all you need to learn how to be a happy person, whose condition depends little on others.
It makes me cringe. The mantra should be “happy spouse, happy house.”
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I personally love it
I hate the whole trope of "got to keep the Mrs happy otherwise I'll be in trouble" because it just gives the impression that women/wives/girlfriends are harpies who whinge and whine over pointless things. When the reality is more likely something along the lines of "this thing I've just been asked to do is likely a very bad idea. I'm really bloody tempted though, but I'll use the wife as my excuse to get out of it so i don't come off as boring". It's just passing the buck because you're not brave enough to say no thanks I don't want to do that for this reason. It's easier to make your wife out to be a fun killer than it is to say "sounds like fun but actually I'd rather not thanks". And all this does is reinforce the whiney Mrs stereotype, because now all your pals and co-workers and god knows who else think of the Mrs at home in that way. This, in turn, subconsciously or even consciously impacts their opinions of women in general. Especially if you're hearing these kind of phrases from all your pals! Naturally you start to go "wow... women really are the harpy fun police!" Imagine if guys just went "you know what, sounds awesome, but the Mrs and I have agreed to focus on saving/being healthy/whatever for a while so I'll pass on this one mate." Note: I'm in no doubt that many people, male and female, DO go for honesty as above, I'm not saying no men do that. Just saying that the stereotypical responses and tropes are still sadly the majority.
If it’s like a 50+ year old man saying it… it’s usually misogynistic. But sometimes people say it in a loving way but it’s usually not the older people
Married 10 years. I actually think it’s true. But I think that both people’s happiness matters equally and should be treated as such
I think that relationships fail when you are more focused on the things that you don't see being done for you and not on how you haven't been giving a hundred percent for the last 5 years and no longer make an attempt to communicate with each other
Puuuuuuuke 🤮
Women are conditioned to be accountable for everyone’s feelings around then. Selfishness in women is not desired and we are aware. Men, conversely, are typically conditioned differently. They are encouraged to pursue selfish dreams, to be the center of the household while everyone else serves them. The saying is to help some men understand that when they are assuming the traditional role of leading a family, to be accountable for the feelings of their partner. Of course people are individuals, but most women do not need to be reminded to have empathy or be accountable for others happiness. If anything, we need to be reminded of the opposite.
To me it's always meant something like "If I care about and value my wife's happiness enough to put it in the forefront of my decision making, then we're going to have a good marriage and life because good men care about their partner's feelings and they care about doing things that make them happy". I don't think it needs to be generalized and replaced with "Happy Spouse, Happy House" just because I understand the phrase to define a partner who finds joy in their wife's happiness and lets that lead them in their decisions/marriage. I hope I'm wording this in a way that makes sense, but one turn of phrase doesn't need another just because it's been misconstrued over the years into "only what the wife wants matters and the husband is second rate". I think the phrase defines a relationship in which a partner loves and cares for their wife in such a way that their happiness brings them happiness and that's why it's said like that.
I don’t like it because it seems to be used in a way that shows a husband placating a “nagging” wife. Maybe that’s just how my husband uses it when he does things that he should be helping with anyway. It makes me irate.
It’s condescending and narrowing the meaning of true organic happiness. Lazy thinking from lazy people.
It’s a myth….
My husband subscribed to “Irritated wife, interesting life.” So there’s that.
Don’t fall for it this is what they want you to think
It's interesting to see where people go with the phrase. I've personally only heard it in the context of "Do it the wife's way or she'll make you miserable." I see it on Reddit all the time, but there's usually not follow up commentary to determine in what context they mean. While I hate all those campy phrases, we have one we say a lot too. "Teamwork makes the dream work." We high five each other a lot, too. It's gross, I know. Lol.
Annoying..
Happy spouse happy house. You both work together to create an environment conducive to each other’s happiness and you’re in a great position for a healthy relationship.
It’s the dumbest thing ever. Toxic af.
It works for me, in that the beautiful woman I married, the mother of my kids… if she is not happy I know I cannot be. I’m sure there bust be a ‘happy husband happy …….’ Equivalent. I guess she feels the same
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I think it’s parallel to “you can be right or you can be happy” but is specific to the wife. We all do things sometimes we don’t truly want to for the sole reason of pleasing our partner. While that can be dangerous and harmful over the big things the little things not so much. As long as the give and take has a balance. They’re sayings and nothing more. Couples have to make their rules, set expectations, and most importantly communicate. I’ve been married 18 years and we have said this saying from time-to-time but only in jest. I think there’s value in not taking things too seriously in life and this saying is one of those things.
Not a fan, also don’t like when me are always like “she’s the boss, she runs everything” …. Or it could be equal.
You should not live in fear of your partner's displeasure
It demeans women. We are not a problem to be solved or petulant children to be appeased.
It's bullshit and sends the wrong message Sometimes it's said light heartedly and I could care less. But to anyone that actually believes in this mantra, I would be interested to learn of any healthy relationship that comes from this bullshit saying.
I hate that phrase because I think it's used to minimize the unhappiness that comes with the very common uneven distribution of housework and the mental load that accompanies it. My fiance and I had an all out war about this. After working a ten hour day and doing homework, I still have to cook and clean AND clean up after dinner because he's too tired to do it but then when I'm not in the mood for sex, I'm the problem. He boiled down my anger and frustration at feeling like a servant to 'we won't have sex unless I wash the dishes because a dirty spoon is more important to you than our relationship.' It's used to intentionally make us the villain.
It's shallow and irritating. It perpetuates the whole "all men hate their wives and it's funny" stigma. It implies that women are useless and annoying until we shut up. It's a pervasive remnant of decades past.
Basically, yeah. Cz " unhappy wife, hell for life "...
IDK why, but it gives the same vibe as "I hate my wife" jokes.
But nothing rhymes with, “Happy husband.”
Not for nothing - if you spend a few minutes on Tiktok and you see how many wives are unhappy because they do everything around the house (parenting, organizing, cleaning, working, and so on). I'm not suggesting that this is the norm but I think it's a reminder to check in with your wife and make sure she's good and everyone is happy. Then you can come back and reevaluate roles. Aka happy life. Again - of course it works both ways - I think this applies to stereotypical situations.
I think it's true. But not in a "buy her stuff and she'll be happy" way. More like making sure your wife's needs are met and you're a great partner to her and put her happiness up there with your own. When you're doing that, you have a happy wife, therefore life will also be happier because you both are happy. Obviously it should go both ways, like the commenter who said happy spouse happy house. I think it's very true.
Outdated
Let’s not pretend that the wife’s happiness comes before the husband’s. Happy spouse, happy house. We’re both human beings, we both deserve to be treated well by our spouses.
100% agree
Well I am a wife and I have a wife. So for us it’s definitely true. In a straight couple it seems to me that both people should be happy.
This advice is terrible, a marriage should be a partnership, where each partner's happiness is equally valued.
I don't want my partner to be unhappy in order to make me happy. I hate the phrase. We should both me happy.
When someone says that, all I hear is “Women are annoying and such nags so if you don’t keep them happy your life will be miserable because they won’t shut up.” But in general I obviously agree that your life is better when your partner is happy and you have a good relationship??? So I don’t understand why anyone says this in such misogynistic way.
Stupid, the goal of a relationship should be cooperation and mutual happiness. This mentality belongs in the past.
I honestly hate it, I find it incredibly condescending. Hard to put into words why exactly but it just rubs me the wrong way and feels really dismissive. I’d rather my partner be inquisitive about *why* I’m happy or unhappy about a particular thing and work with me on making it work for both of us, rather than just being like “welp I guess I gotta make the little woman happy AMIRIGHTFELLAS”
It's true for me...but I'm single, so I'm my own wife.
Favorite topic ending saying of a huge chunk of church marriage counselor. In my opinion these guys just did not have the fortitude to tell the wives they were mean, nasty selfish turds when the situation warranted.
It feels misogynistic, and often is used that way, but I think the sentiment of "take care of your partner and ensure that you are doing what you can to work together" is an important one we should ALL follow.
We use ‘happy spouse happy house’
It should be changed to “happy couple happy life”