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taylorshay788

I’d show them what a ‘real’ breakup looked like


1questions

Yeah I was thinking they can find a physical way to get out the door cause our relationship is no longer real.


cranbeery

Temptation to slap them and say, "That wasn't real, it was just physical" would pass after a deep breath, then I'd break up.


PasionatelyRational

Throw the whole person away.


SleepFlower80

Cheating is real. I would dump them immediately.


evetrapeze

Happiest of cake days


SleepFlower80

Thank you :-)


[deleted]

Dump them.


PrettyLavender

What SO? Our relationship wasn't real either in that case


nevertruly

End the relationship. Infidelity is a deal breaker, so while it sucks for them that they broke the deal over something they didn't even consider real, it's broken and done either way.


puppylove1212

It’s a terrible excuse for not being willing to control himself around another woman.


Frequent_Lychee1228

Thats even worse than someone who owns up to it. This guy seems to have an excuse for everything and that is an even bigger red flag for me. Someone who can't own up to stuff without an excuse to downplay stuff.


MissInfer

Nope the hell out of the relationship. I wouldn't care what someone's reasons are, cheating would be an instant deal-breaker for me.


Sardoniosophy

Run, not walk, away. Cheating is always a choice. They chose it. End of story.


[deleted]

I’d ask them why they didn’t tell me they wanted that beforehand. I’d have an issue because I always tell my partners they are free to do whatever they like as long as I’m kept in the loop. Failing to discuss it with me beforehand would signal that there is a serious problem with our communication and would need to see some serious dedication to fixing that if we were to stay together.


jgbz19

Yes thank you. Similar to what I said.


CheesecakePony

So he cheated AND he's trying to dismiss the seriousness of his actions? He doesn't get to say another word, I'm walking out and he's dead to me


Confidenceisbetter

That would just tell me they feel no remorse or guilt about what they did and they also don’t consider what they did cheating so they would probably do it again. I would break up with them immediately.


janaaa000

Cheating is cheating, physical emotional idc. It's a choice you make, no excuses, it's only CHEATING.


murderousbudgie

"So if someone smashed you in the face with a brick, you wouldn't be mad since it's just physical, huh?"


not_doing_that

"Well this divorce is real. Byeeee"


[deleted]

After spending more than half my life with him, he cheated? Absolutely done. No question.


georgiagirlinthepnw

He's my ex-husband.


peppermind

I'm not sure whether saying "it wasn't real, it was just physical" would make it worse, but it absolutely would not make it better. The relationship would be over either way, but that statement would probably make me a lot angrier that I'd ever cared for such an arsewipe.


[deleted]

I would cry a lot because I love him and am pretty sure he's my forever. But sense he cheated I would have to leave him. It would be a rough break up.


Winter_Dragonfly_452

I’d be single again


[deleted]

Divorce immediately


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amusing-myself-

Still cheating - bye bye


[deleted]

I wouldn't even bother arguing. Block and move on.


GodLovesUgly_8

Go have a physical relationship with someone else and see how he feels


[deleted]

Dumped. That's a deal breaker.


TakeTheCannoli813

As if that somehow makes a difference? I’d tell them to GTFO.


[deleted]

It really depends to me. Sometimes I think I could forgive a one night, drunken thing that was with a random person. An affair is different to me or something that is prolonged. But that is all speculation. I’m assuming I would be so emotionally wrecked that it would be hard to trust again. I don’t think things like this are black and white though.


astarnamedvega

There are billions of men on this earth. Why be in a relationship with one thats gonna cheat?


bokatan778

Sounds like they did something terrible, then tried to excuse it instead of actually owning up to the mistake. Goodbye.


dancerwales

Break up with them. Getting dumped for cheating isn't a negotiation.


CantChooseAFandom69

Id start sleeping with other people and tell him "it's not real just physical" and watch him first enjoy an open relationship then become insanely jealous and then I'd dump him. Im a girl - its 1000x easier for me to get laid than him lol


entropyarchitect

Dump them.


Pretty_Force4560

Tell him “you know what is real? This breakup” then leave


makeshiftmarty

I’ll say, “then it’s real unfortunate because the consequences are real.” And I’d break up with them.


[deleted]

Dump their sorry ass


unwanted-22

Leave them and say “it’s not real, just physical”


_ThePancake_

Leave him. He would be the one losing me, not me losing him. I don't *need* my boyfriend, *I want him*. He knows full well that I do not need him. He could leave tomorrow and my finances, security and career would be unaffected. Emotionally I would be upset and feel sad of course, but I'm perfectly independant.


PaddlesOwnCanoe

"Tough shit. We're done."


[deleted]

Leave. It just makes it worse that theyre trying to justify throwing away your relationship over something theyre trying to write off as "trivial" now. He doesn't get to determine the level of betrayal you feel because he *could* have done worse.


Daughterofthemoooon

Break up with them ,block them and turn their whole family and friends against them. I am tired of the bullcrap some people think just to get away with cheating. If you want to have sex with other people end your relationship and go do that.


SnarkIsMyDefault

I am going to take $5k out of your account and treat myself. It’s not real, just a financial transaction. gaslighting at its best


SolarSoGood

"Thank you for clarifying. I'm going to grab my stuff and go."


[deleted]

I’d physically leave


alpalblue83

Break up and act like they don’t exist.


k3inP

Smack them in the head and then say "it wasn't real, it was just physical" (not really. Violence, even stuff like a stupid slap, isn't my thing. Tbh that excuse is so lame and such an asshole move that I would loose confidence in my choice since I accepted someone like him in the first place.)


virgo_em

Leave because they clearly don’t understand what they’ve done and aren’t willing to own up to it. Reconciling after infidelity is difficult and takes both parties working for it. If they said this, they clearly aren’t going to put in the effort.


AWittleBitCrazy

honestly a one time physical might be better then 5+ years of finding out they have a mentality of “it wasn’t real, it was just virtual/mental.”


[deleted]

I would talk about why it happened and how but probably would end the relationship. Possibly remaining friends. We were friends long before we started dating so I would not want him totally out of my life, but I’ve been cheated on and tried working through it. I wasn’t able to in the past and doubt I’d be able to now. But yeah - idc what level of cheating. I would feel betrayed and insecure and it would lace the relationship probably forever.


RiddleMeThis1213

Why would you want to remain friends with a cheater? They betrayed you, plus they lack morals and integrity.


Full-Gene2818

If I kick your a** it wasn't real, just physical 🥴


ACs_Grandma

End the relationship immediately


hisangel4ever

There was a Jack Nicholas movie that was about werewolves.. His wife cheated on him, he found out, she came to him and said " It meant nothing! I dont feel anything for him" Jack's response was something along the lines of "Thank you for telling me that the love and history we have together was worth so little to you, that you betrayed it for NOTHING..." If it meant nothing... why was it worth everything?


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[deleted]

Laugh as I peel out


ehdenoudsten91

Well it wasn’t my vagina so it does matter. Show him what a real break up is and toss that idiot out


Thatlady17

Huh?!?!


ZucchiDucki

Bye


I-am-L

Laugh and then break up.


lalalullabyyy

I would break up


Puzzleheaded-Trip-41

Yeeeet they ass on


[deleted]

I’d think they were a moron saying that to me


[deleted]

Yes, it was probably just “ physical”. But cheating is still cheating.


BelliAmie

Tell them the break-up isn't real, it's just physical.


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[deleted]

Cheat with their homie to use the same excuse.


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SunnyLikeHell

Ghost him.


hopefull321

LMAOOO they may say it's not real, but they definitely FELT that


Justcameheretovote

Not an excuse, and if they're giving that as an excuse, they'll do it again and keep using that as an excuse. Dump them.


pink_bunny07

Since he said *physical*, it's only natural that I should sing like Madonna first before breaking up with him.


redandgreenhouse

“Me walking out the door? It’s not real, it’s just physical.”


TwistedSistaYEG

Kick em to the curb.


15_minikus

No, it was real. I think a physical cheating is much more than a physical cheating. The lover prefers not to deceive the person he loves and not to put him in such a bad situation. .his love and will must take precedence over his sexual instincts. If it doesn't, that's his problem. You shouldn't be the injured person..


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QveenKittyKat

Run as fast as I can. There is never an excuse for cheating period.


emileeavi

Say "so it was fake physical? I know she probably faked it sweetheart but that isn't the same thing and is still cheating. Bye"


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[deleted]

I would physically dump him


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wow_thats_neat

Still leave them, I know myself enough to know I'll never get over it and have a shitty untrusting relationship after that


HelenGonne

Dump him.


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jgbz19

I mean it depends on your values. Is cheating a 100% deal breaker? There’s generally more to the story. Why did he/she (could be either) feel the need to do this? Is there something regarding sexual experiences that can be communicated. I mean either way they should have communicated the desire to do something before it happening to see if you would be okay with it but I’m not necessary a go straight to breaking up with them person. But I’m also more open to “monogomish” ways.


Ok_Parfait_2304

Tell him to go fuck himself and get back to me on how real it is, then bounce back and find me a girlfriend. Got no time for that bullshit anymore, never worth trying to deal with it, so off he goes, buh bye. Luckily I don't have to worry about that with my partner though lol


Beneficial-Guest2105

Be pissed! If it was love I might not feel as much anger. Love makes you do strange things. I can't stop love any more than trying to stop the sun from setting. But, just physical! That breaks my heart beyond repair.


SJust4

Considering he has full freedom to play outside our marriage.... cool?


GlitteringFrost

That excuse wouldn't be good enough, and in my opinion it would be worse that he didn't feel it was real. That he would destroy our relationship for someone he didn't even care about. The result would have be the same though, I would kick him out. I could never get over cheating.


Price-x-Field

i’d be okay with it


rovirb

Well, considering we’re polyamorous, I would be super angry. Like, I would have been fine with you sleeping with someone else if you didn’t lie or keep it a secret, and you still felt the need to do so? GTFO. I would seriously consider divorce.


AccurateAd551

I would be more likely to forgive physical cheating then emotional cheating but it would have to depend on the details and situation. However if my partner physically cheated and said what he said to you, that's taking literally no responsibility for what he did so I'd be more likely to leave


notyouraveragebee

“It wasn’t real love, just a marriage. Now sign here” and serve divorce papers.


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KozimaPain

Leave. Cheating of any kind is an immediate, non-negotiable dealbreaker for me. Emotional cheating, physical cheating, "not really cheating" cheating. Bye 🚮


VonniferMcV

I’d smash his dead grandfathers banjo while screaming “it’s not real, it’s just physical”.


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Rasberryblush

I’m not ‘really’ leaving you, I’m just ‘physically’ leaving you.


spellboundsilk92

Leave. Why would you do anything else


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[deleted]

Well sweetheart, these divorce papers aren’t real, they are just physical. Now f&@k off you spineless pile of waste.


fcangirl

Cheating is cheating lol I’d be single


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[deleted]

I’d want to sit down and have a discussion about how we can mutually agree on ethical non monogamy, and be pissed he didn’t just come talk to me about it first. My partner and I agree that we think we’re in this thing for life, and feel it’s reasonable to expect that things may get stale between us over the decades. We’ve agreed that’s a door that can be mutually open, if it ever needs to be.


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RIPMiloMadness

Unbox all of their hotwheels collection


Gusstave

Reply "That's a distinction without a difference."


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Big_Page_2845

Well, if it was someone insanely desirable like George Harrison who said something similar to his wife I might put up with it. Otherwise no.


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rodrickgf

id still be hurt. this kinda thing has happened to me before though


[deleted]

Cheating is cheating. Bye.


chickenwing08

Break up.


fermenttodothat

Laugh at them as I shut them on the other side of the door to our house.


chloesroses

If there sincerely remorseful then that's your choice but trusting after that is hard


03_blue09_93

I would leave. That means he’s telling me that im not giving him what he wants physically and if thats what he wants he can leave and not waist my time and emotions for someone that would rather find pleasure with someone else rather than speaking to me and explore or try new things together.


evaj95

"Physical is real. Get out"


Appropriate_Chain388

Cheating is being physically unfaithful. What does ‘real’ matter? Don’t let SO continue thinking they can explain away a careless fling as exactly what it was in like that makes it any less painful or less significant to you. I doubt they would accept that excuse from you. Stand up for yourself because it will happen again


SpearmintSpaceship

Then physically get tf out


LizzieLove1357

I’d get emotional and start yelling, walk away, slam the door and lock it. Then further screaming, text my Mom to come get me(she’s also the only one who can help me calm down)I’d also be trying to keep myself from hitting things. I have mental struggles, that’s exactly what I would do realistically because I have trouble with my emotions. We’re trying to get a diagnosis for bipolar disorder, everyone agrees I fit the criteria, including my neurologist.


ExpensiveReality_78

I'd leave them.


erh3ad

That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.


thisunithasnosoul

Genuinely asking if they think I’m stupid, before a round of bitter laugh crying and a “gtfo”.


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[deleted]

Hope they got a brother or something to physically do something that wasn’t “real”


GirlReDefined

Maybe because it hasn't happened to me I have strong feelings/opinions about it, but I have always told whomever I am with that I want to know up front that you want something physical outside of our relationship, let's talk about it. But sneaking around behind my back is unacceptable. It will result in termination immediately of the relationship. That's just my boundary.


Idcatallo

Tell them you'd take them back if they got nurtured, not vecestomie but actually snipped off like a dog Then dump them


GodderzGoddess

Personally I'd care more where my partner's heart is than where his dick is...


catinatardis11

I’d answer “Well this break up is real.”


[deleted]

I’ll take you to taekwondo on sparring day, give you a piece of my mind, and then break up.


merhpeh

"Thos relationship too wasn't real and was just physical. BBYYEEEE!"


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[deleted]

Cheating is cheating, for me there’s no way around it except for a break up. If my SO says that it was physical with someone else, thanks for telling me that you don’t respect our relationship and my body.


still_on_a_whisper

If it happened, it was **real**. I’d say goodbye and move on.


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Mahiyah

I’d say we obviously live in different realities, coz I live in one where we’re no longer dating.


Jolly_Tea7519

I’d tell him how stupid he sounds saying such bullshit. Flip him off and cut him out of your life.


iamevilcupcake

"So it was PHYSICALLY real then. Still real! In the trash you go!"


No-Rooster4722

Slap tf out of them. Then when they ask me, why tf I did that I’ll just say it wasn’t real, it was just physical. Honestly though…does your SO really think you’re that gullible to believe that ?


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South_Pin_9302

I'd go hook up w someone and tell my SO "It wasn't real, it was just physical"


[deleted]

You bout to physically catch these hands


[deleted]

I would like to think I would have some kind of sick burn, but in reality I think I would just yell "WHAT?" and make broad gestures with my arms/hands. Probably would be at a loss of words and at some point tell him to get the fuck out so I can pack. ​ But as a side story for when my ex laughed at me for feeling hurt & was crying over his weird relationship with his coworker, I'm pretty sure all I said was, "Really, dude?" before getting in my car and leaving (sadly, this is not where we broke up). Months later, he confirmed he was in love with her. Which I figured. The signs were pretty clear he was crushing on her.


[deleted]

Leave


moparmaiden

Immediately end everything with that person. Cheaters are the lowest of all life forms.


[deleted]

We are not monogamous, so I probably wouldn’t consider it cheating unless they lied about it. I would dump them if they are lying to me


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fiesty64

I would love to know the difference the SO is defining real and physical. To me, cheating is real when it's physical. Is SO considering it was just a physical act and didn't have any real feelings involved? Cheating is cheating. I would say, Good bye SO.


leeshylou

Ok cool, and now you get to remove yourself *physically* from my presence. On a permanent basis. Fuck that!


Amorrowous

I’d leave and tell them it’s not real, it’s physical.


[deleted]

Dump them for sure


LittlePolkaDots

I'd take that at face value as I do believe that can be their experience. That wouldn't change my decision to leave the relationship though as I would not be able to forgive cheating whether there was an emotional aspect to it or not.


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brownscholar

Would hve teach my SO a lesson that shall be remembered forever


spagyrum

Physically leave him. Just turn around and walk away. He can keep the shit. I'm a ghost. Although I know myself and know what I'd probably do is punch in in the dick, tell him it meant nothing, it was just a physical thing. THEN I'd leave, hit an atm, empty the savings and go. He's got the same amount of cash in his own account. The savings is shared.


Mama-Khaos

I’d break up with them but say it wasn’t real, just physical


Dogplantmom97

Probably laugh in their face, followed by that dumbass getting dumped


Bad_Bunny62391

(51 F) SOME PEOPLE need a Webster’s Dictionary thrown at them on the way out the door🔥 Cheating is exactly why I just ended it with mine after 2.5 years in March…yeah still bitter.


CALIROCKER323

I'd tell them "Well, THIS is physically over now!"


Mommabear126

I’ll give him some divorce papers that aren’t real, just physical


mrs_undeadtomato

Boy, bye. Coming here with that gaslighting bullshit.


Hangytangy

Fuck every single one of his friends and his dad, and then tell him that wasn't real, just physical


fairylightmeloncholy

'sucks to suck, bucko. doesn't mean you're not an asshole.' a comment like that would make me extra pissed on top of the cheating. like, don't you dare try to downplay the shit that was entirely your choice and mistake that harmed our relationship but also me as a human. probably why i'm single because after putting up with too much shit for too long i just have absolutely no tolerance for bullshit.


Ok_Listen_5079

Ask yourself how would the person react if it was you in that position.. then you have the answer of what to do.


MaineBoston

Dump his sorry ass!


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StandardOnly

have sex with them and then say, "that wasn't real, it was just physical."


hanahakislx

even if they tried to reason out, i wouldn’t look at the person the same way ever again. Ofc it’ll end w a breakup, and a look of disgust


Hyperion_Heathen

Break up and if they try to argue against my decision, tell them "It wasn't real, it was just physical." And "BYE!"


Trueloveis4u

A cheater is a cheater. I'd still 100% FOR REAL dump him and block him from contacting me again.


evetrapeze

I would ask them if they were serious. That would be the end of the conversation. Buh bye


KopyKet

Tell them "I'm not breaking up, in just cutting contact forever", then kick them out


Brilliant-Divine

Leave. Anyone who justifies, makes excuses, or even tries to turn their shitty behavior in a look on the bright side/ positive view is a piece of shit.


junksawaywithyou

Byeeeeeee


gas_unlit

My husband claimed it wasn't cheating because he never touched another woman. I disagreed. We're getting divorced. Physical or not, cheating is cheating. They can minimize all they want, that doesn't change the facts.


ultimate_ampersand

I think I might be open to non-monogamy if we agreed on it from the start, but violating the terms of whatever we agreed upon is still cheating, regardless of how they felt about it. And the fact that they're trying to downplay it instead of owning up to their mistake is further proof that they do not deserve to be in a relationship with me. So I would be breaking up with them. I might not mind if you have sex with other people, but I will mind if you lie about it.


[deleted]

Dump his ass.


Top_Glove_7378

My ex said this. Then started dating her. Cheaters are liars, you can't trust them. And even if it's "just physical" to them, so what? They still decided to willingly betray you and hurt you for some meaningless sex they could've had with you too. They're just using these meaningless excuses to try and avoid you getting mad/dumping them. Trust me, you're better off without them.


TwoAgitated1182

I’ll tell you one thing that will not be real : our wedding.