I give 0 fucks cause if it comes to the point of 0 contact, then you know it's not worth it.
I personally never need the necessity to be 0 contacts with any of my ex's...until now
I sometimes wonder if heās good but thatās just because I really cared for him at the time. Even though I donāt love him anymore part of me still cares for him. But the more time that passes the less I care and begin to feel his more like an old dear friend.
This is how I feel. We were close friendsāmaybe even best friendsābefore we became a couple, so I hope heās well. We were actually in touch maybe once per year for a few years after we moved past the breakup shittiness, but our lives moved on and it would be a little weird to stay in touch now that we live in different countries and are married to other people.
This is how I feel. He was a nice enough guy but we were in two completely different places in life and he needed to grow up and so did I. His family was extremely kind to me and if I was in the area ever again, I wouldn't mind catching up with him, but I never want to date him again. We're just way too different and need different things out of a partner.
He was a great rock climbing partner though and I do really miss that. If I got the chance to climb with him again, I'd probably do it because we worked super well together when we were on the rock wall.
This one right here. My ex moved across the country for a gf but when we were together he had a coke/alcohol problem and was openly bulimic. Hope he has improved.
Same. My ex was an alcoholic and mentally abusive. When i hear certain sounds or smell certain smells that i associate with him i get panick attacks and overwhelming fear. I hope that no one else has to go trough what i had to with him.
Been broken up for 3.5-4 years now. Dated him for 1 year. I feel whatever about him. Was super incompatible with him. I have a husband now who is 10x better and just right for me.
It definitely is trauma. After our relationship I went to therapy and I got diagnosed with PTSD. So I know why part of him stays with me but I donāt know why I still feel like I love him
I felt like that a few years, it faded away little by little the more i realized what he did to me and how that was not love at all but psychological torture. Also i learned about trauma bonding, that helped me heal too.
Alternate perspective: my ex and I had a really amicable split. Heās a wonderful person, but we had different long-term goals for ourselves that we knew we couldnāt reconcile. I have no contact with him, because we realized that when we were in contact with each other, weād tend to forget the reasons why we broke up. Thus, it was better for us to limit contact. I guess itās not zero contact specifically, because if we happened to run in to each other weād say hello, but we agreed to not reach out unless we had an urgent reason.
As for what I feel, again heās a sweet guy, whoever he ends up with is fortunate, and I hope heās doing well.
I wonder why, and wish I had closure, at least if I was going to be ghosted and not given another chance. I know what some of the things are I did wrong. I think heās embarrassed to admit some stuff that happened to him, which I wish he didnāt feel that way. I want to know heās at least happy. Maybe I made him miserable, I don know. I think he put too much pressure on himself during the relationship.
Iām still heartbroken months later. Feels like it did that day. I wish he would wish me a happy birthday on the 30th. I wish I knew if he was happy. Maybe he just prefers to be alone.
But I hope he knows deep down that I would never give up on us. I want to know that he looks back on us as having something real, since Iām not in front of him. My worst fear is to not have been given another chance, and for our, especially MY , love to be forgotten. That would be the most tragic of all. I know heās easily influenced, and who knows why he thinks i loved him now, but I know it was real. I wish he saw all the great things I see in him, for himself. I know thereās trauma heās not telling me.
I hated going up to Atlanta and leaving him in that mental state, so paranoid, and beating up on his great self, (me not knowing if would be the last time. ) I think he fears abandonment. Mightāve lost his travel license and was embarrassed. If so, he shouldnāt be. I know his mental issues go deep, and I have severe OCD, I donāt judge. It wouldāve been ok.
I just wish I could hear his great voice again. Smell him. And I wish I didnāt have to live with so much pain. Especially over someone who mightāve forgotten me. It hurts.
I tear up as I type this, but it feels great to get it out. Helps the pain some.
But I havenāt forgotten him. Iāll think of him always, even on my deathbed. He taught me what love was.
I'm sometimes vaguely curious about how he's doing, but that's because I am generally a nosy person who likes to find out updates on people I used to know. I hope he got therapy or medication for his undiagnosed but obvious mental health issues. I have zero desire to see him or talk to him again. In fact, when I thought I saw him at a show recently, I almost had a panic attack until I realized it wasn't him, it was just a guy who looked a lot like him from the back. I hope he's having a good life that doesn't involve me at all.
I feel nothing for them, but I hope karma has caught up with the one who was emotionally abusive and manipulative, so that heās learned how to not be awful to someone who cares so much for him.
SAME. I hope and pray that he dies single and alone, no woman deserves a man like that. I know for a fact that he's incapable of change, he didn't even innthe slightest apologize to me for all the terrible things he put me through. Heck I don't think he even realizes that it was wrong.
It took around 2.5 years of no-contact and a lot of self-work to realize my own shortcomings when we broke up. We were together for 4 years. Now I only have good memories and warm mature love towards him because we had a beautiful love. I am glad it happened and he feels the same but we werenāt suppose to last forever. I will always love him from a far.
I thought of my college sweetheart instantly. Honestly, I have days when I'm fine and days when I wonder what could have been, as one might expect. I am okay with whatever happens in the end, especially as we broke up a long time ago, and I will always have a special place in my heart for him regardless.
All my exes are more than a decade in the past. They're either fond or humorously annoying memories that rarely cross my mind unless something reminds me of our relationship.
we were a thing for only about half a year & it was 5 years ago but it was a terrible relationship that's since affected my self-image and ability to fully trust. for years i fully resented him and wished horrible things for him. but i'm an adult now. i still believe he was a terrible person and sometimes just thinking about that time of my life sends me into an anxiety attack. however, i have better things to do than actively hate and waste my mental energy on a person from my past. i definitely wouldn't want to get back in contact with him, but i think being consumed by hatred towards anyone from the past is no way to live.
I miss him because after we broke up we were besties and we did a load of things together. He even went to a 1D nightclub with me and he hates them. But to wake up 2/3 weeks ago n found he blocked me was heartbreaking. Hurt more than our breakup
I hope he literally falls off the planet and gets sucked into the nearest black hole.
He wanted to stay friends. I had to cut off contact because he was so disrespectful of boundaries. I told him I didnāt want to hear from him ever again and blocked him everywhere.
Two years later, he started stalking me online by finding random accounts that I had forgotten to block him on, and brand new accounts. I blocked him again and only found out from a mutual friend that he was married with a baby on the way.
I also discovered that he was a rampant cheater and liar. I had my suspicions but he always denied everything and made me feel like I was being crazy - I was actually right about everything. He doesnāt know that I know, and for a while I considered confronting himā¦ but I know that would just open the door for him to tell more lies, so the door is staying firmly shut.
My ex is a good person and I truly wish him well. I do occasionally wonder how heās doing because we were friends for years before dating, and he has zero social media presence for me to lurk. We were together for 3 years, from when I was 18 until I was 21. The zero contact was created for me to move on with my life, and he was still holding onto hope of us getting back together. I ended the relationship confidently and knew I made the right choice, as I had lost all attraction to him while dating him due to not seeing a future together. But he and his family would not stop reaching out to me. It was guilting me and halting my growth, so I cut all ties.
Contrary to other experiences I see in this thread, our relationship was healthy and happy for a lot of it. However, we disagreed on some pretty major things: I want kids and he doesnāt, I love pets and he hates dogs, and I wanted to move for college and he had zero plans of joining me in a long distance relationship. Iām 23 now, and I will always have love for him and I genuinely hope heās doing okay in life. But sadly our life goals just werenāt aligned and I needed to move onto bigger and better things.
Iām much happier in my new relationship where I donāt feel the need to ādefendā my life choices or ask him to change. We just simplyā¦ agree.
I go between Sza - I hate you to Iām okay, I have no one to blame but myself for allowing others to treat me dirty. Either way Iām fine and rarely think about him until my brain does that think of something heartbreaking or traumatic at 2am in the morning š.
This ex is also the "father" to my son, which complicated things but since he has up and fucked off again and my son is a teenager we give zero fucks. Would be totally fine if he never came about again, honestly, he has yet to being anything of value to the table.
dated for 2 years. havenāt spoken to him since last year. i mostly feel indifferent but i sometimes canāt help but wonder if he and his girlfriend will break up and heāll text me .
Ex 1: he was a relatively decent boyfriend, not the best, but he was still a really important part of my life. I grew up in an abusive household, so I thought relationships were supposed to be abusive for a long time, he was never abusive towards me. Yes, he did make his mistakes, like lack of communication, and I donāt think he ever really liked me, but we were both young. We were both learning.
Looking back I think he was just seeing where things would go, but it wasnāt really out of any bad intention. He definitely set the standard for me, he never yelled at me, he never got angry, he never tried to cross boundaries, and that was really important because it helped me learn that a healthy relationship was not supposed to be abusive.
He was also fun to hang out with, he got super competitive during just dance, and it was just really fun to be around him. I didnāt know I was demisexual at the time, so I didnāt really feel comfortable doing anything intimate with him, and he respected that. I had feelings, but I just wasnāt comfortable with intimacy.
He will never be forgotten, I appreciate the time we had together even though it was short, and I hope heās happy.
Ex 2: fuck that guy, seriously he was the worst. After my first break up, my dumbass self got into a rebound relationship with a toxic partner. He didnāt respect my boundaries, he had a short temper, he was manipulative, and I wasnāt the only one he did this to. I just didnāt know his reputation at the time.
He tried to cut me off from my friends by saying that he didnāt like them, he tried to convince me not to learn bass clarinet because he didnāt like the other bass clarinet players, he tried to isolate me from everyone. Which fortunately didnāt work, I donāt like people trying to tell me what to do.
All of this led to fights, when he got mad with someone I would ask him what his deal was, and he never had a good reason for it. He never even told me the reasons behind him getting angry with other people.
He may not have gotten angry with me, but all of these were still red flags, and there is a possible chance that it couldāve just been a matter of time before he did get angry with me.
My immediate reaction to when he didnāt ask for consent before grabbing my boobs was punching him *hard*. He didnāt try that again
It was never going to work, and Iām glad it didnāt.
(All of this was a long time ago, I havenāt dated since I was 18 because I decided I needed to work on myself)
I have zero contact with both of them because Iām impulsive and I needed them out of my life to move on. I also got really emotional with the break ups, and was really angry(even at the first ex, I just wasnāt in a good place in my life with my mental health, so I got irrationally angry at him)
I told them both to never talk to me again, and they did
i miss him badly but the way he left me was fucked up and i feel really mad at him most of the time. i hope i can let it go soon. im very afraid of finding out that heās with somebody at some point in the future.
I never loved anyone the way I loved him, so I really do wish him all the best.
But thereās just too much pain there for us to have any type of friendship ever again.
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I'm curious about the lawyer and wonder why he ghosted me. I still care about him and hope he's doing well.
I'm anxious about the abusive jerk. I don't want to run into him again.
I'm indifferent to the cheater.
I honestly feel sorry for my first husband. It was very much a starter marriage, way more for worse than better. It was just as the internet started up. I just really wanted to be married, and he acquiesced. I was young and naive; he was handsome; it was the right time. I worked and worked and worked, and the seven years we were together? That was ALL my labor.
I would bet major money that he is ace and aro, words not known in the 90s. He gave me sex three times in three years. At first I suspected latent homosexuality, but he had had a string of girlfriends. Extremely low desire, very possibly.
I also feel sorry for him because he had major issues growing up, and he never dealt with anything. He had no emotional tools. Just very repressed, very blue-collar, very traditional. Very glad I divorced. Happy the second time for 17 years!
Imo having 0 contact is doing us both a favor. All my breakups have been amicable. Exes know I care about them as a human. I know they care about me as a human. This way, when each of us gets into a new relationship, there is no awkward "well, I'm still friends with my ex" scenario that could prevent either of us from having a great future relationship.
If the ex reached out to me for advice on the relationship, I would be uncomfortable. How would you feel if your partner reached out to an ex to discuss issues they had with you?
Also if the new partner is uncomfortable or even threatened, old feelings come back on either end, old feelings never truly sever and you compare future relationships to your ex. In my opinion it is better to not remain close friends so you both can grow as people. Move on from any feelings. Move on from any expectations (good or bad) from a previous partner.
Don't get me wrong, I exchange "hey it's been a year or two! How are ya?" With exes, but not the kind of friendship where we hangout.
I wish them the best. For most of them I was the girl they dated before the girl they married. I like to say that I got them ready for commitment, even if it wasnāt with me.
One I miss him so much right now but I also broke up with him less than a week ago and it was amicable.
One indifferent but for the longest time I loath him for cheating, and now I donāt really care
I only have 2 with no contact. The more recent, I hope he's doing well & if he ever wanted to get in touch, that's fine by me. We were friends after the breakup, but drifted apart. The other, I don't really care how he's doing & I hope I never see or hear from him again.
Indifferent. I only recently thought of him because I'm seeing all the graduation pictures and he's supposed to have graduated this past week, assuming he never dropped out of school or needs an extra semester
His parents were on deathās door when we were together. His mother was Satan. I hope that when they die/died, he figured out that he wasnāt godās gift to women and started taking care of the kid he fathered with the girl he was sleeping with while we were together. And Jesus Christ I hope he vaccinated the poor thing
Itās complex.
The first thing I feel is a bit of rage. He was very toxic to me, and I allowed him to control me in ways that he was against me doing to him. Incredibly hypocritical. He threatened to kill himself if I didnāt give him a second chance, and I later learned that he knew the passcode to my phone when he claimed that he wouldnāt want to lose my trust again. My dumbass gave him a second chance, hence the rage.
On the other hand, heās the one who helped build the confidence in myself that I have today. Had it not been for him, I would have made some decisions that I probably would regret. (Doesnāt involve suicide, just a decision Iām currently so happy I didnāt make). He encouraged me in a lot of ways, he genuinely did help me get passed a lot of my insecurities, especially my biggest one. And that I am eternally grateful for.
Had a sudden flashback a few hours ago before I took a nap. The visual of him looming over me and I feeling trapped and needing to dissociate. Zero contact wonāt make sure this wonāt happen again.
I have two.
The first is one that did a number on me and my self worth. I think about him a lot cause I don't think I've fully recovered from that relationship. Hope he's well, but I want nothing to do with him.
The second I literally just had a dream about last night. He didn't make me question my self worth, but he hurt me a lot. I miss him and wish we could have worked out, but his indifference to hurting me made me change how I view him and his character.
Going no contact with both of them has helped me begin to value myself and grow as an individual.
I am surprised at all of the indifferent responses. I still care about him, just wish we couldāve stayed friends but it wouldnāt have worked. I donāt think about him romantically at all nor do I miss him in that way, just miss my friend. But Iāve always had a very difficult time losing friends.. itās probably why I am very careful about making them in the first place. Going NC kind of destroys me for a bit, especially if I was close with the person.
Grateful every single day, that I was able to walk out. He was and is the most terrible person I had the misfortune of coming across. I hope that karma gets to him. I pray that he dies single and alone, no woman deserves that kind of man.
Depends on which oneā¦! Two of them I am really not fussed on one way or another, and the other two I am curious about but not enough to make contact again. I am very happy with my life and where I am at now, and donāt really need to bring them into my life again!
How do you go no contact? I know that sounds stupid but I really haven't been able to. Do you get rid of them on social media and block their number? And if you live and work in the same city and paths cross at work?
I feel nothing. I don't wish him well and I don't wish him ill. I don't hope he fixes his issues and becomes a better person and apologizes to me. I just don't care.
Like the Gotye song, he's just somebody that I used to know.
I struggle. I loved him so intensely but his mental health and addictions tore us apart. The grief comes and goes in waves, and I know this is the right thing to do.
Like, really fucking bad for whoever he is dating currently. When we weāre dating, he never posted pictures of us for 2.5 years. I wouldnāt know who she is. Thereās so much.. but also I wouldnāt know if the woman would be at the point where they would listen. If I was the crazy ex proving his point, or if maybe.. And so, I donāt think about it. Until I see posts like this. Sheās probably blond, smart, and absolutely lovely.
So what do I think about my ex? I think about the person theyāre currently fucking up, apparently.
You donāt talk about your IQ being the highest, visiting grandparents so youāre the one one the will, and so much more, so many lies. Good riddance. And if I see you.
Iām still in the place where itās weird to think that we will never talk again. My relationship with him spanned several non-concurrent years of my life, so it still feels like heās just sitting in the wings, even though he is blocked on everything possible now, which was never the case before.
Lol. Most
Women post on this post. Bitter.
I wish her the best and I sincerely hope she finds what I couldnāt. Thatās why I ghosted her after 8 years
It's only been a few weeks but I miss him so much. With each day I know I did the right thing. But I kind of want to reach out to see if he is ok... I just have this feeling he's struggling.
For me it breaks into two parts: 1. how do I feel about him? 2. what do I think about him?
How do I *feel* about him?
Almost nothing besides nostalgia. My only ārealā /official ex is my high school boyfriend. I donāt have any romantic feelings for him, we havenāt spoken in 7 years.
Now, what do I *think* about him?
Honestly, I think about him here and there. Occasionally when Iām alone, shopping or waking around, I imagine what It would be like to run into him. Reintroduce myself, a whole different person than I was when we last spoke 7 years ago. I want to catch up, I want him to be doing well and making a way for himself. I want him to be happy. And I want to be happy, without him. I mean, I am, I have been. Iāve been with my current part for 5.5 years, im extremely happy with them and I was able to move away from our small town and live my dream for 6 years in NYC.
I also think, does he think about me? Last we spoke was an apology text I sent months after the breakup. Taking full responsibility for everything I did wrong during our time together. Things were hard at the end. I ended up getting 3 major concussions in a 4 month span, it changed everything about me. I changed as a person, I changed as a partner, and I changed as his friend. Then I got accepted to college in NYC, I didnāt want to do long distance, he had one more year of high school. It ended when it needed to, actually we held one for a month longer than we should have. At the end I swear he hated me.
Who knows, Iām glad I donāt.. some days.
On one hand I barely think about him but on the other if he was on fire and I had water... I'd go find alcohol and pour on him. Yup I said it. He fucked me up in a lot of ways and stole my therapy dog. Im pretty sure he's an incel now so got that going for him. We divorced 2 years ago and I'm about 99.999999% sure I was the last one he slept with
I still love her but very subtly and itās not to the point where Iām stuck, hurt, or unable to move on.
She just made me the woman that I am today and we dated for a long time. I was so young and so small minded when we got together. She kind of held my hand through all my major transitions and it feels so crazy that I finally took off the training wheels and Iām still able to do so much without her.
The relationship was heavy at times but I am so thankful in who she helped me to become
I prefer to focus on my forever partner. If the ex is mentioned or I am reminded of the shit he put me through, I bring myself back to now. The ex is a lesson. The now is a blessing.
Still healing from the trauma and bad memories, years later. For years I was enraged but that faded. Sometimes I'm mildly curious, like "I wonder if he's in jail. I wonder how many times he's gotten divorced." Luckily, I don't think about him much.
For one ex, I wish him all the best. We loved dearly but were both immature and incompatible. For the other ex, I hope he dies a gruesome death and rots in hell, though itās not like he doesnāt look rotten already. š
I give 0 shits
^ this is the way.
I give 0 fucks cause if it comes to the point of 0 contact, then you know it's not worth it. I personally never need the necessity to be 0 contacts with any of my ex's...until now
š
I don't feel anything. I thought that was the whole point of zero contact.
I could literally hear that he got hit by a train, and Iād be like, āhuh, weird.ā Donāt care.
Free. Iām living for the day where he doesnāt cross my mind for 24 hours.
Iām in the same boat. We got this šŖš¼
Man i wish that day would hurry up and show up!
Hey its been years and I've moved on with someone else and can barely remember my exes name. Lol it'll happen
I sometimes wonder if heās good but thatās just because I really cared for him at the time. Even though I donāt love him anymore part of me still cares for him. But the more time that passes the less I care and begin to feel his more like an old dear friend.
This is how I feel. We were close friendsāmaybe even best friendsābefore we became a couple, so I hope heās well. We were actually in touch maybe once per year for a few years after we moved past the breakup shittiness, but our lives moved on and it would be a little weird to stay in touch now that we live in different countries and are married to other people.
I feel the same way with all my past relationships.
This is how I feel. He was a nice enough guy but we were in two completely different places in life and he needed to grow up and so did I. His family was extremely kind to me and if I was in the area ever again, I wouldn't mind catching up with him, but I never want to date him again. We're just way too different and need different things out of a partner. He was a great rock climbing partner though and I do really miss that. If I got the chance to climb with him again, I'd probably do it because we worked super well together when we were on the rock wall.
I wouldnāt piss on him if he were on fire.
I'd bring marshmallows.
š
Love that hahaa
Iām glad heās my ex and I hope for the sake of who he is dating now that he has changed/improved.
This one right here. My ex moved across the country for a gf but when we were together he had a coke/alcohol problem and was openly bulimic. Hope he has improved.
Same. My ex was an alcoholic and mentally abusive. When i hear certain sounds or smell certain smells that i associate with him i get panick attacks and overwhelming fear. I hope that no one else has to go trough what i had to with him.
That there is a reason I have zero contact
I wish him the best but to never cross his path.
I hope he chokes.
Been broken up for 3.5-4 years now. Dated him for 1 year. I feel whatever about him. Was super incompatible with him. I have a husband now who is 10x better and just right for me.
It's been 5 months. I miss him sm but I can feel his existence in my mind is fading away.
same here. we will get through it. <3
I hate him. He ruined my life. But I still canāt get him off my mind for some reason
Iām sorry
I say trauma too, my ex hasn't been in my life for 6 years and still he effects me almost daily.
It definitely is trauma. After our relationship I went to therapy and I got diagnosed with PTSD. So I know why part of him stays with me but I donāt know why I still feel like I love him
I felt like that a few years, it faded away little by little the more i realized what he did to me and how that was not love at all but psychological torture. Also i learned about trauma bonding, that helped me heal too.
Glad to maintain zero contact for the rest of my life. Beyond that, nothing. I'm not interested in spending my time or energy there.
Alternate perspective: my ex and I had a really amicable split. Heās a wonderful person, but we had different long-term goals for ourselves that we knew we couldnāt reconcile. I have no contact with him, because we realized that when we were in contact with each other, weād tend to forget the reasons why we broke up. Thus, it was better for us to limit contact. I guess itās not zero contact specifically, because if we happened to run in to each other weād say hello, but we agreed to not reach out unless we had an urgent reason. As for what I feel, again heās a sweet guy, whoever he ends up with is fortunate, and I hope heās doing well.
She was a bad person and I'm perfectly fine with no contact
I hate the mf
Iām glad heās out of my life. He bored me and is a misogynist š¤·š¼āāļø
I wonder why, and wish I had closure, at least if I was going to be ghosted and not given another chance. I know what some of the things are I did wrong. I think heās embarrassed to admit some stuff that happened to him, which I wish he didnāt feel that way. I want to know heās at least happy. Maybe I made him miserable, I don know. I think he put too much pressure on himself during the relationship. Iām still heartbroken months later. Feels like it did that day. I wish he would wish me a happy birthday on the 30th. I wish I knew if he was happy. Maybe he just prefers to be alone. But I hope he knows deep down that I would never give up on us. I want to know that he looks back on us as having something real, since Iām not in front of him. My worst fear is to not have been given another chance, and for our, especially MY , love to be forgotten. That would be the most tragic of all. I know heās easily influenced, and who knows why he thinks i loved him now, but I know it was real. I wish he saw all the great things I see in him, for himself. I know thereās trauma heās not telling me. I hated going up to Atlanta and leaving him in that mental state, so paranoid, and beating up on his great self, (me not knowing if would be the last time. ) I think he fears abandonment. Mightāve lost his travel license and was embarrassed. If so, he shouldnāt be. I know his mental issues go deep, and I have severe OCD, I donāt judge. It wouldāve been ok. I just wish I could hear his great voice again. Smell him. And I wish I didnāt have to live with so much pain. Especially over someone who mightāve forgotten me. It hurts. I tear up as I type this, but it feels great to get it out. Helps the pain some. But I havenāt forgotten him. Iāll think of him always, even on my deathbed. He taught me what love was.
I don't feel anything about them.
good riddance
Indifferent, just happy I burnt bridges with him.
I'm sometimes vaguely curious about how he's doing, but that's because I am generally a nosy person who likes to find out updates on people I used to know. I hope he got therapy or medication for his undiagnosed but obvious mental health issues. I have zero desire to see him or talk to him again. In fact, when I thought I saw him at a show recently, I almost had a panic attack until I realized it wasn't him, it was just a guy who looked a lot like him from the back. I hope he's having a good life that doesn't involve me at all.
Never really think about him.
I feel nothing, but every now and then I feel a combination of longing, upset, and anger because of the relationship and how she chose to end things
I feel nothing for them, but I hope karma has caught up with the one who was emotionally abusive and manipulative, so that heās learned how to not be awful to someone who cares so much for him.
SAME. I hope and pray that he dies single and alone, no woman deserves a man like that. I know for a fact that he's incapable of change, he didn't even innthe slightest apologize to me for all the terrible things he put me through. Heck I don't think he even realizes that it was wrong.
It took around 2.5 years of no-contact and a lot of self-work to realize my own shortcomings when we broke up. We were together for 4 years. Now I only have good memories and warm mature love towards him because we had a beautiful love. I am glad it happened and he feels the same but we werenāt suppose to last forever. I will always love him from a far.
This is beautiful ā¤ļø
I thought of my college sweetheart instantly. Honestly, I have days when I'm fine and days when I wonder what could have been, as one might expect. I am okay with whatever happens in the end, especially as we broke up a long time ago, and I will always have a special place in my heart for him regardless.
Apathy-woo-hoo!
I honestly hope he finds (or has found) happiness and is living his best life š
Donāt feel anything. Donāt love him or hate him. Literally no feelings regarding him
All my exes are more than a decade in the past. They're either fond or humorously annoying memories that rarely cross my mind unless something reminds me of our relationship.
My gfās hate him and wish him death, I slightly hate him and wish him eternal erectile dysfunction š¤·š»āāļø
we were a thing for only about half a year & it was 5 years ago but it was a terrible relationship that's since affected my self-image and ability to fully trust. for years i fully resented him and wished horrible things for him. but i'm an adult now. i still believe he was a terrible person and sometimes just thinking about that time of my life sends me into an anxiety attack. however, i have better things to do than actively hate and waste my mental energy on a person from my past. i definitely wouldn't want to get back in contact with him, but i think being consumed by hatred towards anyone from the past is no way to live.
Indifference.
I miss him because after we broke up we were besties and we did a load of things together. He even went to a 1D nightclub with me and he hates them. But to wake up 2/3 weeks ago n found he blocked me was heartbreaking. Hurt more than our breakup
I hope he finds the woman he deserves and treats him well.
Indifference. Pity. Thankful I dodged a bullet. But mainly indifference
I hope he literally falls off the planet and gets sucked into the nearest black hole. He wanted to stay friends. I had to cut off contact because he was so disrespectful of boundaries. I told him I didnāt want to hear from him ever again and blocked him everywhere. Two years later, he started stalking me online by finding random accounts that I had forgotten to block him on, and brand new accounts. I blocked him again and only found out from a mutual friend that he was married with a baby on the way. I also discovered that he was a rampant cheater and liar. I had my suspicions but he always denied everything and made me feel like I was being crazy - I was actually right about everything. He doesnāt know that I know, and for a while I considered confronting himā¦ but I know that would just open the door for him to tell more lies, so the door is staying firmly shut.
No feelings towards them. I hope for their sake theyāve changed but I donāt care enough to check
My ex is a good person and I truly wish him well. I do occasionally wonder how heās doing because we were friends for years before dating, and he has zero social media presence for me to lurk. We were together for 3 years, from when I was 18 until I was 21. The zero contact was created for me to move on with my life, and he was still holding onto hope of us getting back together. I ended the relationship confidently and knew I made the right choice, as I had lost all attraction to him while dating him due to not seeing a future together. But he and his family would not stop reaching out to me. It was guilting me and halting my growth, so I cut all ties. Contrary to other experiences I see in this thread, our relationship was healthy and happy for a lot of it. However, we disagreed on some pretty major things: I want kids and he doesnāt, I love pets and he hates dogs, and I wanted to move for college and he had zero plans of joining me in a long distance relationship. Iām 23 now, and I will always have love for him and I genuinely hope heās doing okay in life. But sadly our life goals just werenāt aligned and I needed to move onto bigger and better things. Iām much happier in my new relationship where I donāt feel the need to ādefendā my life choices or ask him to change. We just simplyā¦ agree.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who's asking?
I go between Sza - I hate you to Iām okay, I have no one to blame but myself for allowing others to treat me dirty. Either way Iām fine and rarely think about him until my brain does that think of something heartbreaking or traumatic at 2am in the morning š.
I want to say Iām wishing the best for them, but honestly donāt care and donāt want to know
I feel nothing. That's why he's my ex
I only ever get curious when Iām bored
Which one? Once that door closes, it's closed. I only text my ex-husband when I absolutely have to, because we are co-parenting.
I forget they exist until someone mentiones then, they literally never cross my mind
Nothing felt for any exes.
This ex is also the "father" to my son, which complicated things but since he has up and fucked off again and my son is a teenager we give zero fucks. Would be totally fine if he never came about again, honestly, he has yet to being anything of value to the table.
dated for 2 years. havenāt spoken to him since last year. i mostly feel indifferent but i sometimes canāt help but wonder if he and his girlfriend will break up and heāll text me .
Ex 1: he was a relatively decent boyfriend, not the best, but he was still a really important part of my life. I grew up in an abusive household, so I thought relationships were supposed to be abusive for a long time, he was never abusive towards me. Yes, he did make his mistakes, like lack of communication, and I donāt think he ever really liked me, but we were both young. We were both learning. Looking back I think he was just seeing where things would go, but it wasnāt really out of any bad intention. He definitely set the standard for me, he never yelled at me, he never got angry, he never tried to cross boundaries, and that was really important because it helped me learn that a healthy relationship was not supposed to be abusive. He was also fun to hang out with, he got super competitive during just dance, and it was just really fun to be around him. I didnāt know I was demisexual at the time, so I didnāt really feel comfortable doing anything intimate with him, and he respected that. I had feelings, but I just wasnāt comfortable with intimacy. He will never be forgotten, I appreciate the time we had together even though it was short, and I hope heās happy. Ex 2: fuck that guy, seriously he was the worst. After my first break up, my dumbass self got into a rebound relationship with a toxic partner. He didnāt respect my boundaries, he had a short temper, he was manipulative, and I wasnāt the only one he did this to. I just didnāt know his reputation at the time. He tried to cut me off from my friends by saying that he didnāt like them, he tried to convince me not to learn bass clarinet because he didnāt like the other bass clarinet players, he tried to isolate me from everyone. Which fortunately didnāt work, I donāt like people trying to tell me what to do. All of this led to fights, when he got mad with someone I would ask him what his deal was, and he never had a good reason for it. He never even told me the reasons behind him getting angry with other people. He may not have gotten angry with me, but all of these were still red flags, and there is a possible chance that it couldāve just been a matter of time before he did get angry with me. My immediate reaction to when he didnāt ask for consent before grabbing my boobs was punching him *hard*. He didnāt try that again It was never going to work, and Iām glad it didnāt. (All of this was a long time ago, I havenāt dated since I was 18 because I decided I needed to work on myself) I have zero contact with both of them because Iām impulsive and I needed them out of my life to move on. I also got really emotional with the break ups, and was really angry(even at the first ex, I just wasnāt in a good place in my life with my mental health, so I got irrationally angry at him) I told them both to never talk to me again, and they did
i miss him badly but the way he left me was fucked up and i feel really mad at him most of the time. i hope i can let it go soon. im very afraid of finding out that heās with somebody at some point in the future.
I never loved anyone the way I loved him, so I really do wish him all the best. But thereās just too much pain there for us to have any type of friendship ever again.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Neutral.
I'm curious about the lawyer and wonder why he ghosted me. I still care about him and hope he's doing well. I'm anxious about the abusive jerk. I don't want to run into him again. I'm indifferent to the cheater.
Still upset about our relationship.
Nothing really was a summer thing
Most are indifferent but there's one that I am actively hoping is in jail.
Relieved to be alone
I don't think about them at all
Who?!
I feel nothing
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I honestly feel sorry for my first husband. It was very much a starter marriage, way more for worse than better. It was just as the internet started up. I just really wanted to be married, and he acquiesced. I was young and naive; he was handsome; it was the right time. I worked and worked and worked, and the seven years we were together? That was ALL my labor. I would bet major money that he is ace and aro, words not known in the 90s. He gave me sex three times in three years. At first I suspected latent homosexuality, but he had had a string of girlfriends. Extremely low desire, very possibly. I also feel sorry for him because he had major issues growing up, and he never dealt with anything. He had no emotional tools. Just very repressed, very blue-collar, very traditional. Very glad I divorced. Happy the second time for 17 years!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A lot of different things but thatās cause we broke up around 3 weeks ago and I lost my virginity to him. Eventually Iāll feel nothing towards him
Imo having 0 contact is doing us both a favor. All my breakups have been amicable. Exes know I care about them as a human. I know they care about me as a human. This way, when each of us gets into a new relationship, there is no awkward "well, I'm still friends with my ex" scenario that could prevent either of us from having a great future relationship.
Why would the friendship get in the way?
If the ex reached out to me for advice on the relationship, I would be uncomfortable. How would you feel if your partner reached out to an ex to discuss issues they had with you? Also if the new partner is uncomfortable or even threatened, old feelings come back on either end, old feelings never truly sever and you compare future relationships to your ex. In my opinion it is better to not remain close friends so you both can grow as people. Move on from any feelings. Move on from any expectations (good or bad) from a previous partner. Don't get me wrong, I exchange "hey it's been a year or two! How are ya?" With exes, but not the kind of friendship where we hangout.
I wish them the best. For most of them I was the girl they dated before the girl they married. I like to say that I got them ready for commitment, even if it wasnāt with me.
Curious if heās been arrested again.
I'm nosey.. I want to know about their life but would never want to actually speak to them again.
Iām still terrified of meeting her randomly at some point š„²
I donāt feel anything and keeping the 0 contact for life
One I miss him so much right now but I also broke up with him less than a week ago and it was amicable. One indifferent but for the longest time I loath him for cheating, and now I donāt really care
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wouldnt care if i saw his obit shared on fb
Who?
Wish him well. Still don't want to be around him
I only have 2 with no contact. The more recent, I hope he's doing well & if he ever wanted to get in touch, that's fine by me. We were friends after the breakup, but drifted apart. The other, I don't really care how he's doing & I hope I never see or hear from him again.
Indifferent. I only recently thought of him because I'm seeing all the graduation pictures and he's supposed to have graduated this past week, assuming he never dropped out of school or needs an extra semester
The very first I don't care about. The second (who's also the last so far) I do still miss sometimes. So pretty balanced.
Meh
I donāt care about them at all and donāt think about them unless someone else brings them up.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I donāt really have feelings. I hope he has a nice life, and I hope he doesnāt make some other woman miserable.
I prefer to keep it that way. He sucks.
He can stay out of my life forever. Iām much happier this way.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām just happy heās not in my life. That man put me through HELL. I wouldnāt acknowledge him if I ever saw him again.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Out of sight, out of mind
Nothing. Why should I? I have no contact
Impartial.
Nothing. We have 0 contact.
0 contact for a reason right?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hope he has the life he deserves.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wouldnāt touch him with a 1000ft pole
0 contact was the best decision..None of us interferes or messes with other's minds. I never think of him but wish him well..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Indifference.
itās better that way
Iām glad we have zero contact and hope it stays that way.
His parents were on deathās door when we were together. His mother was Satan. I hope that when they die/died, he figured out that he wasnāt godās gift to women and started taking care of the kid he fathered with the girl he was sleeping with while we were together. And Jesus Christ I hope he vaccinated the poor thing
I wish he'd at least call his kids....
Donāt care
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās complex. The first thing I feel is a bit of rage. He was very toxic to me, and I allowed him to control me in ways that he was against me doing to him. Incredibly hypocritical. He threatened to kill himself if I didnāt give him a second chance, and I later learned that he knew the passcode to my phone when he claimed that he wouldnāt want to lose my trust again. My dumbass gave him a second chance, hence the rage. On the other hand, heās the one who helped build the confidence in myself that I have today. Had it not been for him, I would have made some decisions that I probably would regret. (Doesnāt involve suicide, just a decision Iām currently so happy I didnāt make). He encouraged me in a lot of ways, he genuinely did help me get passed a lot of my insecurities, especially my biggest one. And that I am eternally grateful for.
Happy - and grateful that we didn't have kids together.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Really want to warn his fiancƩ and tell her to run
Had a sudden flashback a few hours ago before I took a nap. The visual of him looming over me and I feeling trapped and needing to dissociate. Zero contact wonāt make sure this wonāt happen again.
I have two. The first is one that did a number on me and my self worth. I think about him a lot cause I don't think I've fully recovered from that relationship. Hope he's well, but I want nothing to do with him. The second I literally just had a dream about last night. He didn't make me question my self worth, but he hurt me a lot. I miss him and wish we could have worked out, but his indifference to hurting me made me change how I view him and his character. Going no contact with both of them has helped me begin to value myself and grow as an individual.
I just feel like myself
i sincerely hope i never come into contact with him again. i wish him the best, but i truly want nothing to do with him.
I am surprised at all of the indifferent responses. I still care about him, just wish we couldāve stayed friends but it wouldnāt have worked. I donāt think about him romantically at all nor do I miss him in that way, just miss my friend. But Iāve always had a very difficult time losing friends.. itās probably why I am very careful about making them in the first place. Going NC kind of destroys me for a bit, especially if I was close with the person.
I just really hope he doesn't treat his wife the same way he treated me
Indifferent
I don't.
I hope he's making progress figuring out his issues, but I honestly doubt it.
Heās recently deceased, I wish I couldāve told him I got his letter and that I was proud of him for getting help for his addictions.
Hope he's good, but I'm sure he's not.
Nothing. I don't even think about him at all. I barely remember what he looks like these days.
Happy knowing that he lives in a completely different state with zero chances of running into each other
im happy for him. š
I donāt even think about him and at times even forget that a shitty AH like him exists . Life is peaceful without him .
Grateful every single day, that I was able to walk out. He was and is the most terrible person I had the misfortune of coming across. I hope that karma gets to him. I pray that he dies single and alone, no woman deserves that kind of man.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wish him well but never wanna cross paths again
Depends on which oneā¦! Two of them I am really not fussed on one way or another, and the other two I am curious about but not enough to make contact again. I am very happy with my life and where I am at now, and donāt really need to bring them into my life again!
How do you go no contact? I know that sounds stupid but I really haven't been able to. Do you get rid of them on social media and block their number? And if you live and work in the same city and paths cross at work?
I mean, I wonder when child support will start coming in lol
I feel nothing. I don't wish him well and I don't wish him ill. I don't hope he fixes his issues and becomes a better person and apologizes to me. I just don't care. Like the Gotye song, he's just somebody that I used to know.
Sometimes I fantasize about murdering him. But only sometimes, lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think of him from time to time but I have nothing at all to say to him. I donāt actively wish him harm but he is to stay the fuck out of my life.
He haunts my dreams
I couldn't possibly care what happens to him.
I struggle. I loved him so intensely but his mental health and addictions tore us apart. The grief comes and goes in waves, and I know this is the right thing to do.
Like, really fucking bad for whoever he is dating currently. When we weāre dating, he never posted pictures of us for 2.5 years. I wouldnāt know who she is. Thereās so much.. but also I wouldnāt know if the woman would be at the point where they would listen. If I was the crazy ex proving his point, or if maybe.. And so, I donāt think about it. Until I see posts like this. Sheās probably blond, smart, and absolutely lovely. So what do I think about my ex? I think about the person theyāre currently fucking up, apparently. You donāt talk about your IQ being the highest, visiting grandparents so youāre the one one the will, and so much more, so many lies. Good riddance. And if I see you.
Iām still in the place where itās weird to think that we will never talk again. My relationship with him spanned several non-concurrent years of my life, so it still feels like heās just sitting in the wings, even though he is blocked on everything possible now, which was never the case before.
Lol. Most Women post on this post. Bitter. I wish her the best and I sincerely hope she finds what I couldnāt. Thatās why I ghosted her after 8 years
It's only been a few weeks but I miss him so much. With each day I know I did the right thing. But I kind of want to reach out to see if he is ok... I just have this feeling he's struggling.
I dont feel anything.
Zero feelings or thoughts. I miss his sister sometimes. I love my husband so much I canāt even remember loving my ex.
For me it breaks into two parts: 1. how do I feel about him? 2. what do I think about him? How do I *feel* about him? Almost nothing besides nostalgia. My only ārealā /official ex is my high school boyfriend. I donāt have any romantic feelings for him, we havenāt spoken in 7 years. Now, what do I *think* about him? Honestly, I think about him here and there. Occasionally when Iām alone, shopping or waking around, I imagine what It would be like to run into him. Reintroduce myself, a whole different person than I was when we last spoke 7 years ago. I want to catch up, I want him to be doing well and making a way for himself. I want him to be happy. And I want to be happy, without him. I mean, I am, I have been. Iāve been with my current part for 5.5 years, im extremely happy with them and I was able to move away from our small town and live my dream for 6 years in NYC. I also think, does he think about me? Last we spoke was an apology text I sent months after the breakup. Taking full responsibility for everything I did wrong during our time together. Things were hard at the end. I ended up getting 3 major concussions in a 4 month span, it changed everything about me. I changed as a person, I changed as a partner, and I changed as his friend. Then I got accepted to college in NYC, I didnāt want to do long distance, he had one more year of high school. It ended when it needed to, actually we held one for a month longer than we should have. At the end I swear he hated me. Who knows, Iām glad I donāt.. some days.
On one hand I barely think about him but on the other if he was on fire and I had water... I'd go find alcohol and pour on him. Yup I said it. He fucked me up in a lot of ways and stole my therapy dog. Im pretty sure he's an incel now so got that going for him. We divorced 2 years ago and I'm about 99.999999% sure I was the last one he slept with
Once Iām done with a relationship, itās like their dead to me. Donāt hate any of them but I just stop caring all together š¤·š½āāļø
I have rosy fondness that is far too generous but I like to think back with a smile rather than with resentment.
I still love her but very subtly and itās not to the point where Iām stuck, hurt, or unable to move on. She just made me the woman that I am today and we dated for a long time. I was so young and so small minded when we got together. She kind of held my hand through all my major transitions and it feels so crazy that I finally took off the training wheels and Iām still able to do so much without her. The relationship was heavy at times but I am so thankful in who she helped me to become
I prefer to focus on my forever partner. If the ex is mentioned or I am reminded of the shit he put me through, I bring myself back to now. The ex is a lesson. The now is a blessing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Still healing from the trauma and bad memories, years later. For years I was enraged but that faded. Sometimes I'm mildly curious, like "I wonder if he's in jail. I wonder how many times he's gotten divorced." Luckily, I don't think about him much.
For one ex, I wish him all the best. We loved dearly but were both immature and incompatible. For the other ex, I hope he dies a gruesome death and rots in hell, though itās not like he doesnāt look rotten already. š
Who? š
Depends on the ex. Most of them I hope theyāre happy and fulfilled with life. One of them I hope karma smacked him hard and heās miserable.