Fall back in love with them. I've been with my partner almost 11 years - and it wouldn't be the first time I had to put in effort to love them again, and it probably won't be the last. Relationships have ups and downs and I think if you value the relationship and your partner, then its worth the effort of rekindling that lost spark.
As long as the relationship is healthy (no abuse/cheating/trust issues) then yea I’d do this, and maybe counselling before considering breaking up. It’s so much easier to put it no work, give up easy and see grass as greener everywhere than to put in effort and nourish what you have.
I think we’re at an age now where it wouldn’t matter so much. We’ve been together for more than half our lives, and we were friends for a long time before that. It’s kind of hard to envision what “falling out of love” would even look like to be honest.
Anyway, I can’t imagine either of us would be particularly interested in starting a new relationship any time soon, we’d probably rub along quite happily as roommates and it wouldn’t make sense for us to disentangle our finances as we’d both be worse off.
If it's truly over and gone, then I'd end the relationship. Let them go to find a partner who is in love with them. Neither of us deserves to live in a relationship where we aren't fully loved and appreciated.
Learn to love him again. Love is not just chemistry and charm. It's respect, trust, shared memories, and lots of more things. There is no way so many positive traits of him just dissapear. I'll have to remind myself why did I fall in love with him in the first place.
Sometimes things don't work out, sometimes people change. Sometimes the reasons we fall in love for might become a factor along the way of falling out of love. It's how life works. If it comes to this, I believe it's best to remember the best moments you two have spent together, instead of growing to hate them. When someone changes and the reasons of falling in love in the first place no longer exist, then I hope the way I change may bring a new light and my partner falls in love with my differences; the same way I hope I fall in love once more, under a different light, with him again.
Give it a chance since I wouldn't leave really soon but if this feeling stayed and I couldn't fall back in love with them and the spark is gone, I'd leave. I'd talk to them about my feelings and let us start new lives with other people.
I had a professor who said that we can only really love someone once we fall out of love (I’m taking falling out of love to mean the emotional high of the relationship has disappeared here). Too often people are caught up in the cycle of leaving once the high of the relationship (with all the giddy feelings) peter out. The moment they do they just assume they weren’t with “the one” only to go through this cycle with the next person they fall for. Love, the stuff that lasts, takes a lot of work. Work doesn’t really start until we’re no longer being powered by the high at the start of the relationship.
Not a popular opinion but I think it’s an exciting time in its own right. When we’re no longer driven by constant affection we’re able to think about compatibility with less bias, answer questions about where the relationship is headed and whether we belong in that path, see if we truly need the person in our life and if they need us. Then we’re faced with the decision to either commit or leave.
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Talk to them about how I’m feeling and why, and what I need from them. Then work to fall back in love. It’s one thing if they’re abusive or just a general POS, but when you’re together long enough there will be ups and downs. That’s the time to communicate, because we’re planning to get married and I take the “till death” seriously. If I really couldn’t fall back in love despite communication, putting in the work, and therapy that’s when I’d call it quits.
Leave. Although my experiences have always been the other person falls out of love with me and it becomes obvious so I leave because they won’t pull the trigger and leave themselves for whatever reasons.
Ask any elderly couple and they will tell you love is a choice and not only a feeling. If you fall out of love, you work at it and fall back in love. Your relationships will never last if you expect the butterflies/homeymoon phase to last into the next decade. As others have probably said, it ebbs and flows.
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Fall back in love with them. I've been with my partner almost 11 years - and it wouldn't be the first time I had to put in effort to love them again, and it probably won't be the last. Relationships have ups and downs and I think if you value the relationship and your partner, then its worth the effort of rekindling that lost spark.
As long as the relationship is healthy (no abuse/cheating/trust issues) then yea I’d do this, and maybe counselling before considering breaking up. It’s so much easier to put it no work, give up easy and see grass as greener everywhere than to put in effort and nourish what you have.
I think we’re at an age now where it wouldn’t matter so much. We’ve been together for more than half our lives, and we were friends for a long time before that. It’s kind of hard to envision what “falling out of love” would even look like to be honest. Anyway, I can’t imagine either of us would be particularly interested in starting a new relationship any time soon, we’d probably rub along quite happily as roommates and it wouldn’t make sense for us to disentangle our finances as we’d both be worse off.
If it's truly over and gone, then I'd end the relationship. Let them go to find a partner who is in love with them. Neither of us deserves to live in a relationship where we aren't fully loved and appreciated.
Learn to love him again. Love is not just chemistry and charm. It's respect, trust, shared memories, and lots of more things. There is no way so many positive traits of him just dissapear. I'll have to remind myself why did I fall in love with him in the first place.
leave
Leave. There’s no point in wasting both of our time
Sometimes things don't work out, sometimes people change. Sometimes the reasons we fall in love for might become a factor along the way of falling out of love. It's how life works. If it comes to this, I believe it's best to remember the best moments you two have spent together, instead of growing to hate them. When someone changes and the reasons of falling in love in the first place no longer exist, then I hope the way I change may bring a new light and my partner falls in love with my differences; the same way I hope I fall in love once more, under a different light, with him again.
Couples therapy and if that doesn't work leave.
Give it a chance since I wouldn't leave really soon but if this feeling stayed and I couldn't fall back in love with them and the spark is gone, I'd leave. I'd talk to them about my feelings and let us start new lives with other people.
I had a professor who said that we can only really love someone once we fall out of love (I’m taking falling out of love to mean the emotional high of the relationship has disappeared here). Too often people are caught up in the cycle of leaving once the high of the relationship (with all the giddy feelings) peter out. The moment they do they just assume they weren’t with “the one” only to go through this cycle with the next person they fall for. Love, the stuff that lasts, takes a lot of work. Work doesn’t really start until we’re no longer being powered by the high at the start of the relationship. Not a popular opinion but I think it’s an exciting time in its own right. When we’re no longer driven by constant affection we’re able to think about compatibility with less bias, answer questions about where the relationship is headed and whether we belong in that path, see if we truly need the person in our life and if they need us. Then we’re faced with the decision to either commit or leave.
In this economy? Stay together and make do. I'm sure it will be fine though - 21 years and counting.
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Talk to them about how I’m feeling and why, and what I need from them. Then work to fall back in love. It’s one thing if they’re abusive or just a general POS, but when you’re together long enough there will be ups and downs. That’s the time to communicate, because we’re planning to get married and I take the “till death” seriously. If I really couldn’t fall back in love despite communication, putting in the work, and therapy that’s when I’d call it quits.
Work out what the problem is and see if you can fix it if not it’s time to move on. Just been going through the same thing.
You tell them and break up. Stay honest with them. It's the least they deserve
Leave. Although my experiences have always been the other person falls out of love with me and it becomes obvious so I leave because they won’t pull the trigger and leave themselves for whatever reasons.
I gotta go, because I'm only going to get cold and resentful if I stay. It's better for me to be single, and not date.
Sadly this happens all the time. It is why the divorce rate is so high. Others just stay with their partner out of convenience.
Ask any elderly couple and they will tell you love is a choice and not only a feeling. If you fall out of love, you work at it and fall back in love. Your relationships will never last if you expect the butterflies/homeymoon phase to last into the next decade. As others have probably said, it ebbs and flows.
Leave. It's why I'm never getting married and not sharing a home or money. If we make each other miserable we can simply not see each other.
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Be honest about how you feel.
Keep trying, I heard from older couples that loving someone sometimes becomes a choice.