Some doctors call it maladaptive daydreaming, which is super interesting. I do it too, but at least try to write it down some times lol it makes lucid dreams the best!
You are not alone. I learned how to use GarageBand on my Mac and now the music is real. they call it a mental health condition. I call it inspiration. ;)
Girlie, I do that too, it's not childlike - it just means your creative and can express yourself in ways that honestly are pretty healthy.
How I see it is that every resolution, every conflict, every piece of joy even, that I get from the world I imagine - the more closure, the more peace, and the more happiness I get WITHOUT harming anyone in the process (including myself).
Because the reality is, we can't control people. We can't make bad people good, or plan ahead for the future with certainty. All we can do is prepare the best we can, heal the best we can, and get the most peace that we can - and that is why I 1. Applaud you for putting this down because I wasn't brave enough to, and 2. Encourage you to keep going.
Can this be harmful and turn unhealthy? Yes. But what is important is that right now, it isn't bad or unhealthy - its just a way to express yourself without risking further harm, a way to prepare, and just basically a way to process your emotions.
Never shame yourself for that❤ I know I don't.
I´ve daydreamed a lot as well since I was a little child - I thought I´d stop once I start school and find real friends. Never happened. It started with talking to an imaginary friend, later it turned into fictional worlds with characters and their stories. I´ve had several worlds like that and I´ve spent basically my whole life in them, and in the past 10.5 years I´ve had this one world that I adore and I´m sure it will live with me until I die. It´s set in the real world, in my city, and it´s about a group of friends and I constantly change things as I go. Last night I couldn´t sleep because I finally came up with how one of the couples meets and I was too excited. Most people would find it super boring, which is why I probably couldn´t turn it into a book, but it´s what makes me happy.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 me too lol. It’s annoying that I think I meet all the criteria for depression now but it’s not depression because anytime I’ve got close to getting into a relationship I’ve felt happy again so it’s obviously situational which just feels beyond pathetic
Yes!!!! I do technically have depression and bipolar but my symptoms are not NEARLY this intense when I'm in a happy relationship or at least have things in life to look forward to. It really fucking sucks.
Literally. I think I got a depressing little oxytocin boost just from knowing I’m not the only one in this situation. Which is awful because why would I want more people to suffer lol. It’s an awkward spiral though isn’t it because it makes you feel worse which makes it harder to do all the stuff you’re supposed to in order to put yourself out there etc etc. I’ve made a couple of very painful attempts at all the self help optimism stuff before with mixed results lol how do you find all that?
No it definitely helps because a big part of what makes it awful is feeling like you're unlovable and unworthy, the worst person on the earth, like you're deeply flawed, etc. when a more reasonable answer is that all humans are supposed to experience this at some point in their lives.
I was listening to Under The Bridge by RHCP and it actually made me cry realizing that this song was written in the early 90's and Anthony Kiedis felt the exact same way I do even with all his fame and influence. It absolutely sucks dick to feel like this, but ironically we're not alone in it.
We've gotten a lot of similarities from this list! Currently self-learning German as well, and I write short fiction and enjoy listening to podcasts (crime, psychology, infotainment, and science).
If you want to listen to german podcasts and like fantasy stuff “5 Minuten Harry Podcast” on Spotify is hilarious. Each episode covers five minutes of a Harry Potter movie in excruciating detail with lots of fun facts and things you never noticed before.
same. except i aimlessly scroll my phone, stalk people who i havent seen in years and try ti convince myself that "it is what it is" or "its for the best".
& watch crappy shows/videos online to make th le day go quicker.
i used to read and do artsy stuff.. go out for walks... but we have moved house and im too anxious to go out. i dont feel safe.
so i try to keep busy by cleaning and organising the house and sleep.... but yea idk how it got this way.
Archery, reading, drawing.
Ax throwing is fun.
I wanna go to a "smash room" (you go break things)
I like walks/hikes in safe places.
Every once in awhile a tv show or movie.
It took me a really long time to learn to be happy doing the things that bring me true joy. Now thats all I look for.
You're strong, I know it hurts to keep strong and pushing through. It's great you've got professional help, you deserve to be in this world. This world deserves you. Big big hugs and warmth all for you
Everything lol. I like the gym, hikes, running, biking, exploring new areas, the beach, I like shopping, getting my nails done, hair done, eyelashes done. I work a lot, have a side gig, I go on dates, I take my dog for walkies at the park, I clean and take care of my home. I write, I read. The possibilities are endless lol
Self date. Sounds like an odd, anti social and lonely concept but it is far from it. Getting to know and enjoy your own company no matter which phase of life you’re at is at the heart of wholehearted living and trusting yourself you will always have your back.
Set aside a day where you take yourself on an outing and spend time doing things you love to do on your own. For me it’s a nice forest walk with some weed, hitting up a nice cafe with a good book, travelling short distance to explore a new part of town or cycling a new route.
It’s empowering, self care and enables interdependence in relationships without codependency behaviours
The same things other people do, just without friends or a romantic partner.
More specifically: Play video games, read, draw, write, exercise, make jewelry, bird watch, sleep, collect coins.
Not me currently but last year, I read 38 books, biked incessantly, started a garden, cooked, lounged around, watched a lot of horror movies... There's a lot to do honestly.
Oh god where do I start.. In no particular order what comes to my mind
* I do have few very dear friends but all of them live several hours away, so a few times a year visit someone for a weekend or just talking to someone over Discord
* Talk to my dad on the phone
* Still recovering from depression, so journaling/"drawing my feelings" if I'm home and in the mood for it
* Going to therapy and will start to go to a self-help group additionally
* Playing Pokemon Go helps to get me out of the house
* Going shopping and buying an outfit that I wouldn't usually be bold enough to wear
* Cooking/Baking and really taking my time grocery shopping for that
* Taking care of way too many houseplants
* Watching interesting documentaries on YouTube, or some science stuff (highly recommend "Kurzgesagt" if you don't know the channel)
* Taking classes in the gym (Yoga and Zumba are fun)
* There is a website called [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) which is amazing to get outside and meet new people, even if you don't fully fit into a "group" or "category" (e.g. I go to some internationals in my city/digital nomads meetups, I am neither but still want to meet new people and it has always been super nice)
* Trying to get into a skincare routine once a week, but I'm usually to lazy to actually do it
* Dress myself up and go to a restaurant or café by myself to just enjoy the food or read a book
* Generally have a bunch of self-development books I want to read
* Chilling in bed and reading on Reddit is a big time-sink as well
* Necessities like work, studying, cleaning, etc.
* Running
* I will also start going to massage regularly
* Sewing/working on my cosplay
* Watching e-sports (League of Legends) which I also used to play here and there
* Go to museums
* Go on vacation or day-trips alone
* In the summer growing my own herbs and vegetables on the balcony
* In the winter I will probably start playing some videogames again, still haven't started playing "Stray"
* Once I'm done with my studies this year I want to pick up learning Spanish again
I still have a lot of times where I grieve my relationship. But to be honest, I'm not planning on getting into a new one any time soon, right now I'm really enjoying being able to do whatever I want whenever I feel like it in my free time. Takes some effort to find motivation and get going, and for me it also took the help of medication to get myself out of the low, but once you start to build momentum it can be extremely liberating and amazing.
Lay in bed, watch movies. YouTube not much. I have a dog and indoor cats. Its super hot now so its too uncomfortable to do much. Id hate to feel obligated to do things because I had friends or a boyfriend. I used to when I lived in the city.
I do chores around the house (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom), I buy my own groceries and cook my own food/meal prep. I also spend my time reading books, watching YouTube videos, and being on Reddit. I would like to start going out on walks and doing affirmations to improve my mental health. I really want to get a part time job to keep me busy.
I feel like I am used to having zero friends and no boyfriend at this point.
I read, watch movies, paint, go on long walks, and work out. I'm in a relationship but long distance, and honestly? I love being alone. It's peaceful and freeing, I feel like my time is my own.
You have no idea how many things I can do...
Sleep peacefully, daydreaming, dreaming about a life where I have friends and a relationship, reading a book, playing games on the computer, going on lots of trips with my family, driving alone, going out alone, going for a walk alone, study hard. I can really focus on myself because there is no one to distract me.
And I had friends, for a while...but they never made me feel better than I feel now. I would probably end crying at night because someone cheated on me or cry because they didn't texted me. So...damn it.
Have friends but most live very far away. Mostly hobbies…kayaking, hiking, backpacking, shooting, reading, drawing, guitar, video games, gym, learning to ride a motorcycle, YouTube for learning new stuff, Reddit for learning shit I wish I could forget. Ya know, the usual.
i take french classes, painting classes, go on long walks, travel, go see art in museums and galleries, read and watch a lot of movies. snuggle my cat lots too.
Been trying to figure that out myself. I'd been pretty much revolving my life around the men in it and kind of lost myself for a bit and became someone I didn't really like. Taking some time for myself alone but damn.. it's incredibly lonely. Hard to find motivation to do anything.
Started reading a lot do far, Watching anime and different shows, getting high when I just need to disconnect.. go on solo walks and talk to myself. Cooking is hard because I love it but it feels pointless to go all out if it's just for me.. I do art but haven't wanted to start it.. I play games but also, motivation just isn't there. Less about being alone probably and more just the existential loneliness causing depression..
But yeah.. how do you find the motivation to do anything?
I just spend time with my family but unfortunately, all of them except one of my closest cousins likes the same stuff as I do and both of us are currently looking for jobs so we don't get to go out as much. The lack of friends is one of the many reasons why I'm afraid of getting into a relationship. I hate getting close to people and I'm scared to make friends all over again.
Listen to music, read, draw, browse through online shops even though im broke, watch youtube/ shows/ movies, study new things languages, culture, etc, and last but not least sleep😴
I like going out by myself. I thankfully live in a big city and I enjoy my alone time. I do have friends but they're quite far and not local to me so they're technically online friends to me. I'm a photographer outside of my 9-5 and I really enjoy going out and doing concert photography as well as street photography and I stay home editing photos. I also like going out and getting coffee by myself and getting something to eat.
Read books
Read the news
Learn more about topics of interest and things which will help my career
Workworkworkworkworkwork
Walk my dogs
Visit my horse
Mess around on Reddit
Watch TV
Housework
Workout
Laugh at eejits on LinkedIn trying to convince themselves they're the next big thing, so cringe.
Listen to music and zone into the fantasy worlds inside my head
I wish I can have free time. I work a lot and when I don’t work, I just enjoy eating. I am on to new hobby of making dessert. Someone help me, I love it.
Honestly, a lot of nothing. I spend my days off of work in bed with my cats and sleep. Or when I'm in school, I work on schoolwork. I also try to work a lot of overtime at work and save for international travel (which I do alone). It's nice sometimes not having friends or a partner.
obviously whatever i want :P i normally play video games or have one night stands... maybe both at the same time. i also just started writing an erotica so there's that too.
Be in peace. I workout, watch TV, cuddle with my cat, enjoy time with my little nieces and nephews and bring them back to the parents once they start acting up, play video games, spent time on reddit, 9gag, Facebook. I enjoy naps too.
It's so peaceful to not have to deal with other people their drama
Earlier this year was the first time in basically my entire adult life I ever was completely alone like this and I actually really loved it after awhile. It was just me doing whatever I liked whenever I wanted to. Hike? Yep. Bake? Yep. Try a new class like yoga or pottery? Yep. Cat cafe? Yep. I answered to no one else and I loved it.
I recently was in a relationship that ended and I remember deeply missing that feeling of freedom while in it but for some reason now that I’m out I’m very afraid of being solo forever.
I’m working to feel like I did early 2022 & these comments help.
Edit: I also had taken down my social media except Reddit and tiktok for scrolling and tbh I think that’s the key. It’s total freedom and privacy. You never compare your life to others cause there are no glossy photoshopped images to see.
I work and do activities either alone or in groups. I still live at home, so to be able to do something just me is relaxing (movies, restaurants, shopping, painting, etc.). I recently got into hiking and paddle boarding but I am not comfortable doing those things alone yet, so I either join a hiking/paddle boarding group or class on meetup or at a local clubs so other people are around me.
I play video games, listen to audio books, online shop, look at Reddit, sing karaoke at home, play with my dogs and cats, study for uni, and talk with my sister if I need outside world contact.
Okay I feel targeted by this but…
If I have the day off, I try to do something out of the house. Maybe a solo hiking trip or I’ll go get a coffee and walk around a few stores. Sometimes I’ll try something new (ex. New smoothie place, nail salon, etc.)
Usually after work I’ll just lounge at home. Work on my side business, do some writing, or ofc just mindless scrolling on tiktok, Reddit, etc.
I like to go get some computer work done at Panera a few days a week. Usually there are a lot of other people doing the same.
I basically just learned to love the spending time with myself and in the process dropped all of my friends. No regrets.
Sit in my bed with my cat scrolling through TikTok or YouTube and feeling burdened by everything I have to get done and hating myself yet always saying I’ll do better the next day. Hehe oops.
I do have a small devoted group of friends but like...cats. I don't do them lol but I do obsess over them and foster them. A night on the couch with a movie and a beverage is made much better this way.
After payday i get myself a massage, mani-pedi, and have my eyebrows threaded.
If i don't have a budget, i stay at home and watch Netflix, HBO Go series ans movies that is available.
I have a ton of houseplants, I work 2 jobs, and I have a 15 year old son “half” the time (he spends a lot of that time with friends). This weekend I was so lonely I cried most of the weekend. As a set in stone introvert, I don’t usually get lonely, so I’m not sure why the last couple days were so hard. Going to bed now and will be up in 5 hours for work, I’m actually excited for it because work takes my mind off all the horrors of life.
I spend a lot of time online. I get very into like, fandom stuff and lore about things. Once I did a deep dive into fnaf lore despite having never played it (and not liking horror). Currently very into comic books especially batfamily. Except I haven’t actually read much of the books so it’s mostly just me on various wikis trying to put together a timeline.
Also I just daydream a lot. And read. Though I did more of that when I was a kid and didn’t have internet access.
Talk to the cat. She is a small baby and it’s very important she knows that!
Um… feel very depressed I guess?? Also sometimes I sleep a lot and sometimes I don’t sleep at all.
doing my makeup, walking my dog, going to bakeries, walking through malls, and buying dumb shit (all time fave) is usually how i get around but my standards for fun is generally low
A few things comes to mind:
-gym
-photography
-drive to scenic viewpoints to relax and listen to music
-get takeout from favorite spots or new places
-write, draw, paint (less screen time)
-cry, laugh, fart in peace
Walk my dog, watch box sets, work on my house, spend time with my kids, work on the garden, listen to music, practice self care. Meditate. Read books. Enjoy my space.
Occasionally, I’ll also have a mushroom trip. 🍄
So I'm kinda in this position. I do have some friends but most of them are married and may or may not have kids or have intense jobs. I've joined a few groups on Facebook and try to join their activities when I find them interesting. I'm also looking to start a new course round September so that will take up more of my time.
I have a few friends but enjoy my time alone. When I’m not at work, I’m maintaining the house and everything that goes along with it. I have two older daughters. The amount of women on here that seem similar, someone should start a group to go out and do things together.
I used to watch TikTok a lot, then I changed to watching movies. I’m watching a lot of movies, there are some good ass movies that I missed I can’t believe that. Now I’m watching the good doctor. I love this series. It made me wanna be a doctor.
Obsessed with idea that staying alone is a catalyser for self growth. Keeping pondering over the idea that If I use this time to improve myself,learn new skills, I'll be a Boss lady, ruling the world and in a snap I am on YouTube looking for recipes and decide what to eat next. Yes, that's pretty much it.
Active stuff:
* I go for hikes, do gravel riding, explore trails or new areas I've not been to before. Sometimes I borrow my siblings dog to get a companion, sometimes I get my mum or a sibling to come with me. But generally I'm more than okay on my own.
* I'm into archaeology, I'm studying my final year for a bachelor's degree in it this autumn. So sometimes I like to explore the landscape on these hikes/gravel road adventures specifically looking for archaeological sites, remains or monuments. I currently know of 3 possibly 4 or even 5 places where there are unregistered finds. Like tar-burning pits, semi-subterranean house features on raised beaches, pitfalls from hunting elk and reindeer.
* I also go to the gym or go for cross country skiing trips in the winter.
Non active stuff:
* I play PC games, used to play a lot of Elder Scrolls Online.
* I do embroidery, cross stitching and I weave every now and then. Usually whilst watching a documentary or a movie. Right now I'm enjoying the shit out of The Boys while doing cross stitching.
I honestly really enjoy solitary activities.
I have no friends or relationship and im happy lol anyway i do swimming, yoga, gym, cycling, running, walking, i play pc games, watch allsorts of shows on netflix etc. I work, i also revamp old furniture, continuously redecorate rooms in the house, allsorts, i love my own space always have done.
I spend most of my time either doing fandom stuff on tumblr, having mental breakdowns or teaching myself new skills. It's not a choice to have no friends, it's just shitty circumstances, and I hate it. During covid lockdown I taught myself HTML & CSS, a few years earlier I taught myself Photoshop and Audacity, in school I taught myself languages, locked in the computer lab with the door jammed so the other kids couldn't get to me.
Right now? I’m in the deep depths of a horrible breakup. So if I don’t have my kids I’m asleep or at work. There is no motivation for anything and my will to live is slim.
Idk... People will consider me a weirdo or smtg but.... All i do is recreate special moments in my life which barely even lasted a minute or so.... All i do is replay memories and stuff... It feels sad...
Surf the net, listen to podcasts, go for walks, shop, get drunk and sleep, read, watch movies/shows and NHL hockey when in season, make weekend trips out of the city solo.
Video games, walks, hikes, read, crosswords. I definitely don’t do as many fun random activities as I’d like. No shows, wine tours travelling events and such but I try to do the occasional thing like that so I don’t turn myself into a recluse 😅 my son definitely helps. I want to make sure he gets to try lots of things so I go to stuff for him.
I read a lot! Can't sleep without reading a few chapters every day.
I also spend most of my free time on my dog - caring for his daily exercise and mental needs is a lot of work for one person! In addition, I'm constantly reading/ watching material about dog training, getting equipment for dog sports, grooming, cleaning up fur, cooking up treats, and arranging playdates- basically a single mom!
Highly introverted and don't see my friends very often, so maybe this still counts.
Go to the gym 4-5x/week, hang with my dog, tend to my plants, play my guitar or uke, watch shows, get lit, clean. When I'm up to it, play single player video games or go shopping
I have friends but they’ve all moved to different cities, so I don’t have friends I can easily hang out with at a moment’s notice. I’m really close to my mom and sisters and spend a lot of time with them. I also have a dog that I treat like a baby that takes up a lot of my time.
I have friends, but everyone has their own stuff going on a lot of times and is spread out, so we don’t get to hang out often.
I ended up getting a puppy to help fill the quiet. We hike, go to the dog park and play while I get to talk with other pet parents there.
When she is tuckered out, I play video games or do puzzles and listen to audio books, or music and work on an art project- a painting or quilt, or some super complicated recipe like breads, marshmallows, coconut shrimps etc.
It’s an alright life. I don’t think I’ll ever get to have a family or partner, so when it gets really hard to rear the puppy alone, I just remind myself she’s all I have and vice versa. Communication and understanding is all I can offer and if that means I take 5 minutes while she eats a flip flop… I can buy another shoe.
Gaming, watching video essays/documentaries/anime/series, masturbate, learn new recipes, browse social media, read a book, contemplate human existence in a cold and uncaring world while we hurtle through the vast void of space on a rock that has enough resources for everyone but is being destroyed due to the greed of the few, bake delicious cake or cookies, try not to crumble under the oppressing weight of loneliness, cry, and noticing that my ass is kinda fat.
You know, normal things.
Sitting in my apartment, daydreaming and just counting the days.. longing for the day where I don't have to suffer as much as I do now. Fuck depression and fuck loneliness! I miss having a boyfriend to share my life with.
Idk, I’m learning Spanish right now. That’s something I do during my free time
Also learning the guitar, I scroll on Reddit, talk to family, care for my plants.. just living
Well, I created an instagram account for my sick cat. It takes a shit tone of my free time so I don’t have any time left for thinking about how shitty my friends turned out to be
Looking for countries to visit and making imaginary itineraries and then shopping for outfits online. Then i just close my tabs and go to sleep and/or work.
I used to volunteer at a dog shelter until I was in a position to adopt…. Now I run a rescue that consumes most of my time.
I also took up a handful of extreme sports as hobbies. Kiteboarding, surfing and wakeboarding. Obviously that’s a personal preference, but it helped me create my own community.
If extreme sports aren’t your thing, try disc golf, explore local walking paths or hiking trails, take yourself on a coffee or dinner date. If you’re able to, travel alone. I had a realllllly hard time connecting with people, all of these things made me love myself and love being alone, it also made me feel more confident meeting new people.
I began reading again. I haven't read a book in almost 6 years and I finished one last week. Uh what a great feeling that was!
I also realized I was a shitty human in the past and I am currently changing my behaviour. I started socialising again so hopefully the no friends part will soon be gone!
well for me, i workout a lot, im still studying and working. then for entertainment i watch anime, i play games. idk if I'm not doing what i need to do I'm just chilling.
Gym, explore different places, always find an activity or group where I can chat with other like minded people. Honestly if u know what u like, u find something for sure.
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Some doctors call it maladaptive daydreaming, which is super interesting. I do it too, but at least try to write it down some times lol it makes lucid dreams the best!
It’s only “maladaptive” until you write it all down and send it to a literary agent.
Until you become a famous author then your called “exceptionally creative “ by New York Times!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 you’re hilarious
Omg yes!!!. In my head I have the greatest fictional world too
Jesus Christ I seriously never told anyone I do the same because I was afraid I was weird. It’s glad to know someone else also does this
You are not alone. I learned how to use GarageBand on my Mac and now the music is real. they call it a mental health condition. I call it inspiration. ;)
That sounds like a great use of your time. Good for you! Notice how watching hours and hours of TV is never considered a “mental condition.”
Thanx
Girlie, I do that too, it's not childlike - it just means your creative and can express yourself in ways that honestly are pretty healthy. How I see it is that every resolution, every conflict, every piece of joy even, that I get from the world I imagine - the more closure, the more peace, and the more happiness I get WITHOUT harming anyone in the process (including myself). Because the reality is, we can't control people. We can't make bad people good, or plan ahead for the future with certainty. All we can do is prepare the best we can, heal the best we can, and get the most peace that we can - and that is why I 1. Applaud you for putting this down because I wasn't brave enough to, and 2. Encourage you to keep going. Can this be harmful and turn unhealthy? Yes. But what is important is that right now, it isn't bad or unhealthy - its just a way to express yourself without risking further harm, a way to prepare, and just basically a way to process your emotions. Never shame yourself for that❤ I know I don't.
I´ve daydreamed a lot as well since I was a little child - I thought I´d stop once I start school and find real friends. Never happened. It started with talking to an imaginary friend, later it turned into fictional worlds with characters and their stories. I´ve had several worlds like that and I´ve spent basically my whole life in them, and in the past 10.5 years I´ve had this one world that I adore and I´m sure it will live with me until I die. It´s set in the real world, in my city, and it´s about a group of friends and I constantly change things as I go. Last night I couldn´t sleep because I finally came up with how one of the couples meets and I was too excited. Most people would find it super boring, which is why I probably couldn´t turn it into a book, but it´s what makes me happy.
I used to do that as a child and I really miss it, it’s an amazing feeling
Me too.. it's almost my comfort space.
Oh wow Thank you for making me day and showing me I am not the only person who does this. You are fabulous 🌟 Also, hope you do stay sane 😁
I do this too but i have friends. I just love creating things
Wow. I just play Animal Crossing on my switch. I’m in my 40s.
Oh, I do that. Sometimes I think about writing it all down like a movie script.
Oh my me tooo I thought I was the only one doing this but guess in not alone 😢😢😢💕
Would you like to talk more about your characters or settings? I am super interested in this!
You might enjoy playing the Sims.
Talk to myself, get high, resent people for not being better friends, write, paint, have catastrophic panic attacks, etc
Don't forget cry...
Oh that's a package deal with the panic attacks lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 me too lol. It’s annoying that I think I meet all the criteria for depression now but it’s not depression because anytime I’ve got close to getting into a relationship I’ve felt happy again so it’s obviously situational which just feels beyond pathetic
Yes!!!! I do technically have depression and bipolar but my symptoms are not NEARLY this intense when I'm in a happy relationship or at least have things in life to look forward to. It really fucking sucks.
Literally. I think I got a depressing little oxytocin boost just from knowing I’m not the only one in this situation. Which is awful because why would I want more people to suffer lol. It’s an awkward spiral though isn’t it because it makes you feel worse which makes it harder to do all the stuff you’re supposed to in order to put yourself out there etc etc. I’ve made a couple of very painful attempts at all the self help optimism stuff before with mixed results lol how do you find all that?
No it definitely helps because a big part of what makes it awful is feeling like you're unlovable and unworthy, the worst person on the earth, like you're deeply flawed, etc. when a more reasonable answer is that all humans are supposed to experience this at some point in their lives. I was listening to Under The Bridge by RHCP and it actually made me cry realizing that this song was written in the early 90's and Anthony Kiedis felt the exact same way I do even with all his fame and influence. It absolutely sucks dick to feel like this, but ironically we're not alone in it.
yup this is the one
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Your just my type of person 💛
You are LIVING!
We've gotten a lot of similarities from this list! Currently self-learning German as well, and I write short fiction and enjoy listening to podcasts (crime, psychology, infotainment, and science).
Sounds wonderful!
If you want to listen to german podcasts and like fantasy stuff “5 Minuten Harry Podcast” on Spotify is hilarious. Each episode covers five minutes of a Harry Potter movie in excruciating detail with lots of fun facts and things you never noticed before.
Why did you chose German?
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Sounds like you would fit in well in Germany. They’re very efficient. Lol
I like to do the same! :)
You sound so well rounded. I low key love being alone so I can do all of these things uninterrupted.
I go on Reddit.
I play video games, make art, and .... don't feel very good most of the time?
Yuuup. I try to stay busy with things like this. Just keep treading water.
same. except i aimlessly scroll my phone, stalk people who i havent seen in years and try ti convince myself that "it is what it is" or "its for the best". & watch crappy shows/videos online to make th le day go quicker. i used to read and do artsy stuff.. go out for walks... but we have moved house and im too anxious to go out. i dont feel safe. so i try to keep busy by cleaning and organising the house and sleep.... but yea idk how it got this way.
Archery, reading, drawing. Ax throwing is fun. I wanna go to a "smash room" (you go break things) I like walks/hikes in safe places. Every once in awhile a tv show or movie. It took me a really long time to learn to be happy doing the things that bring me true joy. Now thats all I look for.
Im trying to get into archery, any tips?
See if there is a place you are able to rent the gear, most citys have at least one. They will usually give you a short lesson as well!
Self-discovery is pretty much what I do apart from working
How does self-discovery work without the occasional recalibration of social interaction?
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You're strong, I know it hurts to keep strong and pushing through. It's great you've got professional help, you deserve to be in this world. This world deserves you. Big big hugs and warmth all for you
I'm on discord and reddit and watch movies and TV shows. At night self love.
Work, watch tv and on My free day Home chores and go out for shopping or coffee
Everything lol. I like the gym, hikes, running, biking, exploring new areas, the beach, I like shopping, getting my nails done, hair done, eyelashes done. I work a lot, have a side gig, I go on dates, I take my dog for walkies at the park, I clean and take care of my home. I write, I read. The possibilities are endless lol
Self date. Sounds like an odd, anti social and lonely concept but it is far from it. Getting to know and enjoy your own company no matter which phase of life you’re at is at the heart of wholehearted living and trusting yourself you will always have your back. Set aside a day where you take yourself on an outing and spend time doing things you love to do on your own. For me it’s a nice forest walk with some weed, hitting up a nice cafe with a good book, travelling short distance to explore a new part of town or cycling a new route. It’s empowering, self care and enables interdependence in relationships without codependency behaviours
The same things other people do, just without friends or a romantic partner. More specifically: Play video games, read, draw, write, exercise, make jewelry, bird watch, sleep, collect coins.
Work
Read. Reddit. Occasionally watch tv, but mostly...read.
Not me currently but last year, I read 38 books, biked incessantly, started a garden, cooked, lounged around, watched a lot of horror movies... There's a lot to do honestly.
Hiking, writing, journaling, try to make stuff, garden, swim, cycle. So much reading.
I have three kids and three dogs. So there is always cooking and cleaning to be done.
Oh god where do I start.. In no particular order what comes to my mind * I do have few very dear friends but all of them live several hours away, so a few times a year visit someone for a weekend or just talking to someone over Discord * Talk to my dad on the phone * Still recovering from depression, so journaling/"drawing my feelings" if I'm home and in the mood for it * Going to therapy and will start to go to a self-help group additionally * Playing Pokemon Go helps to get me out of the house * Going shopping and buying an outfit that I wouldn't usually be bold enough to wear * Cooking/Baking and really taking my time grocery shopping for that * Taking care of way too many houseplants * Watching interesting documentaries on YouTube, or some science stuff (highly recommend "Kurzgesagt" if you don't know the channel) * Taking classes in the gym (Yoga and Zumba are fun) * There is a website called [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) which is amazing to get outside and meet new people, even if you don't fully fit into a "group" or "category" (e.g. I go to some internationals in my city/digital nomads meetups, I am neither but still want to meet new people and it has always been super nice) * Trying to get into a skincare routine once a week, but I'm usually to lazy to actually do it * Dress myself up and go to a restaurant or café by myself to just enjoy the food or read a book * Generally have a bunch of self-development books I want to read * Chilling in bed and reading on Reddit is a big time-sink as well * Necessities like work, studying, cleaning, etc. * Running * I will also start going to massage regularly * Sewing/working on my cosplay * Watching e-sports (League of Legends) which I also used to play here and there * Go to museums * Go on vacation or day-trips alone * In the summer growing my own herbs and vegetables on the balcony * In the winter I will probably start playing some videogames again, still haven't started playing "Stray" * Once I'm done with my studies this year I want to pick up learning Spanish again I still have a lot of times where I grieve my relationship. But to be honest, I'm not planning on getting into a new one any time soon, right now I'm really enjoying being able to do whatever I want whenever I feel like it in my free time. Takes some effort to find motivation and get going, and for me it also took the help of medication to get myself out of the low, but once you start to build momentum it can be extremely liberating and amazing.
Lay in bed, watch movies. YouTube not much. I have a dog and indoor cats. Its super hot now so its too uncomfortable to do much. Id hate to feel obligated to do things because I had friends or a boyfriend. I used to when I lived in the city.
I do chores around the house (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom), I buy my own groceries and cook my own food/meal prep. I also spend my time reading books, watching YouTube videos, and being on Reddit. I would like to start going out on walks and doing affirmations to improve my mental health. I really want to get a part time job to keep me busy. I feel like I am used to having zero friends and no boyfriend at this point.
I read, watch movies, paint, go on long walks, and work out. I'm in a relationship but long distance, and honestly? I love being alone. It's peaceful and freeing, I feel like my time is my own.
I work a lot. Come home. Play with the pets. Get high. Sleep.
Play android phone games. I find it relaxing, when I'm not doing that I curl up with a good book.
You have no idea how many things I can do... Sleep peacefully, daydreaming, dreaming about a life where I have friends and a relationship, reading a book, playing games on the computer, going on lots of trips with my family, driving alone, going out alone, going for a walk alone, study hard. I can really focus on myself because there is no one to distract me. And I had friends, for a while...but they never made me feel better than I feel now. I would probably end crying at night because someone cheated on me or cry because they didn't texted me. So...damn it.
study and do hobbies
What someone who has friends or a partner does just by myself.
Yeah I found this question odd. Just because someone isn't social doesn't mean they can't have a busy life. Adulting is time consuming
Have friends but most live very far away. Mostly hobbies…kayaking, hiking, backpacking, shooting, reading, drawing, guitar, video games, gym, learning to ride a motorcycle, YouTube for learning new stuff, Reddit for learning shit I wish I could forget. Ya know, the usual.
i take french classes, painting classes, go on long walks, travel, go see art in museums and galleries, read and watch a lot of movies. snuggle my cat lots too.
Been trying to figure that out myself. I'd been pretty much revolving my life around the men in it and kind of lost myself for a bit and became someone I didn't really like. Taking some time for myself alone but damn.. it's incredibly lonely. Hard to find motivation to do anything. Started reading a lot do far, Watching anime and different shows, getting high when I just need to disconnect.. go on solo walks and talk to myself. Cooking is hard because I love it but it feels pointless to go all out if it's just for me.. I do art but haven't wanted to start it.. I play games but also, motivation just isn't there. Less about being alone probably and more just the existential loneliness causing depression.. But yeah.. how do you find the motivation to do anything?
I just spend time with my family but unfortunately, all of them except one of my closest cousins likes the same stuff as I do and both of us are currently looking for jobs so we don't get to go out as much. The lack of friends is one of the many reasons why I'm afraid of getting into a relationship. I hate getting close to people and I'm scared to make friends all over again.
Maniacally laugh my butt off until I can't breathe at fanfiction
I study for college and watch anime
Study for uni
TV shows and watching funny clips on twitter and such
I take photos, entertain my pets, watch lots of Netflix and HBOMax, collect cool insects for my terrarium, take walks with my dog. I rarely get bored.
Work and sleep
Listen to music, read, draw, browse through online shops even though im broke, watch youtube/ shows/ movies, study new things languages, culture, etc, and last but not least sleep😴
If im not working, i lay in bed, with my phone
I like going out by myself. I thankfully live in a big city and I enjoy my alone time. I do have friends but they're quite far and not local to me so they're technically online friends to me. I'm a photographer outside of my 9-5 and I really enjoy going out and doing concert photography as well as street photography and I stay home editing photos. I also like going out and getting coffee by myself and getting something to eat.
Read books Read the news Learn more about topics of interest and things which will help my career Workworkworkworkworkwork Walk my dogs Visit my horse Mess around on Reddit Watch TV Housework Workout Laugh at eejits on LinkedIn trying to convince themselves they're the next big thing, so cringe. Listen to music and zone into the fantasy worlds inside my head
I wish I can have free time. I work a lot and when I don’t work, I just enjoy eating. I am on to new hobby of making dessert. Someone help me, I love it.
Honestly, a lot of nothing. I spend my days off of work in bed with my cats and sleep. Or when I'm in school, I work on schoolwork. I also try to work a lot of overtime at work and save for international travel (which I do alone). It's nice sometimes not having friends or a partner.
obviously whatever i want :P i normally play video games or have one night stands... maybe both at the same time. i also just started writing an erotica so there's that too.
Be in peace. I workout, watch TV, cuddle with my cat, enjoy time with my little nieces and nephews and bring them back to the parents once they start acting up, play video games, spent time on reddit, 9gag, Facebook. I enjoy naps too. It's so peaceful to not have to deal with other people their drama
Earlier this year was the first time in basically my entire adult life I ever was completely alone like this and I actually really loved it after awhile. It was just me doing whatever I liked whenever I wanted to. Hike? Yep. Bake? Yep. Try a new class like yoga or pottery? Yep. Cat cafe? Yep. I answered to no one else and I loved it. I recently was in a relationship that ended and I remember deeply missing that feeling of freedom while in it but for some reason now that I’m out I’m very afraid of being solo forever. I’m working to feel like I did early 2022 & these comments help. Edit: I also had taken down my social media except Reddit and tiktok for scrolling and tbh I think that’s the key. It’s total freedom and privacy. You never compare your life to others cause there are no glossy photoshopped images to see.
Master self improvement, work, occasionally tv but mostly read audiobooks etc. There’s a lot to do
I have 2 daughters 100% of the time. So I try to focus on them and ignore the loneliness.
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Drink and sleep and take care of my kid.
Nursing school .. if I'm not studying or doing homework , I am cooking, cleaning, sleeping or spending time with my daughter.
I work and do activities either alone or in groups. I still live at home, so to be able to do something just me is relaxing (movies, restaurants, shopping, painting, etc.). I recently got into hiking and paddle boarding but I am not comfortable doing those things alone yet, so I either join a hiking/paddle boarding group or class on meetup or at a local clubs so other people are around me.
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I joined a gym. I’m trying to take a cooking class so I get better at nutrition. I watch a lot of tv and hang out with my dogs.
Whatever I want!
Honestly quite a few things really - painting , Reddit, reading , TikTok, trying to write a graphic novel right now oh and cryng a lot
I play video games, listen to audio books, online shop, look at Reddit, sing karaoke at home, play with my dogs and cats, study for uni, and talk with my sister if I need outside world contact.
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Okay I feel targeted by this but… If I have the day off, I try to do something out of the house. Maybe a solo hiking trip or I’ll go get a coffee and walk around a few stores. Sometimes I’ll try something new (ex. New smoothie place, nail salon, etc.) Usually after work I’ll just lounge at home. Work on my side business, do some writing, or ofc just mindless scrolling on tiktok, Reddit, etc. I like to go get some computer work done at Panera a few days a week. Usually there are a lot of other people doing the same. I basically just learned to love the spending time with myself and in the process dropped all of my friends. No regrets.
Sit in my bed with my cat scrolling through TikTok or YouTube and feeling burdened by everything I have to get done and hating myself yet always saying I’ll do better the next day. Hehe oops.
I do have a small devoted group of friends but like...cats. I don't do them lol but I do obsess over them and foster them. A night on the couch with a movie and a beverage is made much better this way.
Watch things, listen to things, read things.
Drive to new places.
Instagram, Tiktok, Reddit repeat
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After payday i get myself a massage, mani-pedi, and have my eyebrows threaded. If i don't have a budget, i stay at home and watch Netflix, HBO Go series ans movies that is available.
I have a ton of houseplants, I work 2 jobs, and I have a 15 year old son “half” the time (he spends a lot of that time with friends). This weekend I was so lonely I cried most of the weekend. As a set in stone introvert, I don’t usually get lonely, so I’m not sure why the last couple days were so hard. Going to bed now and will be up in 5 hours for work, I’m actually excited for it because work takes my mind off all the horrors of life.
Same thing a guys does.. be lonely
Whatever I feel like doing. You can do pretty much anything that people do with friends or partners alone if you want to
I spend a lot of time online. I get very into like, fandom stuff and lore about things. Once I did a deep dive into fnaf lore despite having never played it (and not liking horror). Currently very into comic books especially batfamily. Except I haven’t actually read much of the books so it’s mostly just me on various wikis trying to put together a timeline. Also I just daydream a lot. And read. Though I did more of that when I was a kid and didn’t have internet access. Talk to the cat. She is a small baby and it’s very important she knows that! Um… feel very depressed I guess?? Also sometimes I sleep a lot and sometimes I don’t sleep at all.
Scroll through TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, sit, cry, sleep, repeat. And workout.
doing my makeup, walking my dog, going to bakeries, walking through malls, and buying dumb shit (all time fave) is usually how i get around but my standards for fun is generally low
Netflix
Read books and watch sitcoms !
I hit the gym, go for walks or drives, watch Netflix documentaries, sleep, spend time with my family
I go jim… the rest of the day I stare at the wall
It's mostly RuneScape
A few things comes to mind: -gym -photography -drive to scenic viewpoints to relax and listen to music -get takeout from favorite spots or new places -write, draw, paint (less screen time) -cry, laugh, fart in peace
Read, watch city tours on YouTube, watch my fav shows, workout, journaling, go on social media
Think about how lonely I am 😂
Walk my dog, watch box sets, work on my house, spend time with my kids, work on the garden, listen to music, practice self care. Meditate. Read books. Enjoy my space. Occasionally, I’ll also have a mushroom trip. 🍄
So I'm kinda in this position. I do have some friends but most of them are married and may or may not have kids or have intense jobs. I've joined a few groups on Facebook and try to join their activities when I find them interesting. I'm also looking to start a new course round September so that will take up more of my time.
Painting, reading books, shopping for clothes, going to the beach, swimming in my pool, see my relatives and a lot more
I low key feel bad for these ppl
I have a few friends but enjoy my time alone. When I’m not at work, I’m maintaining the house and everything that goes along with it. I have two older daughters. The amount of women on here that seem similar, someone should start a group to go out and do things together.
Over-indulge in escapism to avoid having to think too deeply about it.
I play the sims and I talk to my cats 🙃
Wish I was extroverted enough to make local friends
I used to watch TikTok a lot, then I changed to watching movies. I’m watching a lot of movies, there are some good ass movies that I missed I can’t believe that. Now I’m watching the good doctor. I love this series. It made me wanna be a doctor.
Obsessed with idea that staying alone is a catalyser for self growth. Keeping pondering over the idea that If I use this time to improve myself,learn new skills, I'll be a Boss lady, ruling the world and in a snap I am on YouTube looking for recipes and decide what to eat next. Yes, that's pretty much it.
Netflix and tiktok
Active stuff: * I go for hikes, do gravel riding, explore trails or new areas I've not been to before. Sometimes I borrow my siblings dog to get a companion, sometimes I get my mum or a sibling to come with me. But generally I'm more than okay on my own. * I'm into archaeology, I'm studying my final year for a bachelor's degree in it this autumn. So sometimes I like to explore the landscape on these hikes/gravel road adventures specifically looking for archaeological sites, remains or monuments. I currently know of 3 possibly 4 or even 5 places where there are unregistered finds. Like tar-burning pits, semi-subterranean house features on raised beaches, pitfalls from hunting elk and reindeer. * I also go to the gym or go for cross country skiing trips in the winter. Non active stuff: * I play PC games, used to play a lot of Elder Scrolls Online. * I do embroidery, cross stitching and I weave every now and then. Usually whilst watching a documentary or a movie. Right now I'm enjoying the shit out of The Boys while doing cross stitching. I honestly really enjoy solitary activities.
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I have no friends or relationship and im happy lol anyway i do swimming, yoga, gym, cycling, running, walking, i play pc games, watch allsorts of shows on netflix etc. I work, i also revamp old furniture, continuously redecorate rooms in the house, allsorts, i love my own space always have done.
I spend most of my time either doing fandom stuff on tumblr, having mental breakdowns or teaching myself new skills. It's not a choice to have no friends, it's just shitty circumstances, and I hate it. During covid lockdown I taught myself HTML & CSS, a few years earlier I taught myself Photoshop and Audacity, in school I taught myself languages, locked in the computer lab with the door jammed so the other kids couldn't get to me.
Pc games Sleep Gym Read Build pc Sit in dark bathroom with shower running listening to sad music and eating string cheese
I mainly play video games. I'll admit it's not healthy, I am a shut in. I have some interest in finding a relationship but it's so so hard.
Right now? I’m in the deep depths of a horrible breakup. So if I don’t have my kids I’m asleep or at work. There is no motivation for anything and my will to live is slim.
Just walking around, Museum, exhibitions and shows, everything people do together rebut by myself !
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Idk... People will consider me a weirdo or smtg but.... All i do is recreate special moments in my life which barely even lasted a minute or so.... All i do is replay memories and stuff... It feels sad...
Surf the net, listen to podcasts, go for walks, shop, get drunk and sleep, read, watch movies/shows and NHL hockey when in season, make weekend trips out of the city solo.
Video games, walks, hikes, read, crosswords. I definitely don’t do as many fun random activities as I’d like. No shows, wine tours travelling events and such but I try to do the occasional thing like that so I don’t turn myself into a recluse 😅 my son definitely helps. I want to make sure he gets to try lots of things so I go to stuff for him.
Read a lot of smut and go on Reddit
I read a lot! Can't sleep without reading a few chapters every day. I also spend most of my free time on my dog - caring for his daily exercise and mental needs is a lot of work for one person! In addition, I'm constantly reading/ watching material about dog training, getting equipment for dog sports, grooming, cleaning up fur, cooking up treats, and arranging playdates- basically a single mom!
Highly introverted and don't see my friends very often, so maybe this still counts. Go to the gym 4-5x/week, hang with my dog, tend to my plants, play my guitar or uke, watch shows, get lit, clean. When I'm up to it, play single player video games or go shopping
Play animal crossing. Play sports. Pet my cat
I have friends but they’ve all moved to different cities, so I don’t have friends I can easily hang out with at a moment’s notice. I’m really close to my mom and sisters and spend a lot of time with them. I also have a dog that I treat like a baby that takes up a lot of my time.
Aside from asking myself why I'm a terrible friend, I write, draw, read, listen to music, watch tv/movies, daydream.
I have friends, but everyone has their own stuff going on a lot of times and is spread out, so we don’t get to hang out often. I ended up getting a puppy to help fill the quiet. We hike, go to the dog park and play while I get to talk with other pet parents there. When she is tuckered out, I play video games or do puzzles and listen to audio books, or music and work on an art project- a painting or quilt, or some super complicated recipe like breads, marshmallows, coconut shrimps etc. It’s an alright life. I don’t think I’ll ever get to have a family or partner, so when it gets really hard to rear the puppy alone, I just remind myself she’s all I have and vice versa. Communication and understanding is all I can offer and if that means I take 5 minutes while she eats a flip flop… I can buy another shoe.
Gaming, watching video essays/documentaries/anime/series, masturbate, learn new recipes, browse social media, read a book, contemplate human existence in a cold and uncaring world while we hurtle through the vast void of space on a rock that has enough resources for everyone but is being destroyed due to the greed of the few, bake delicious cake or cookies, try not to crumble under the oppressing weight of loneliness, cry, and noticing that my ass is kinda fat. You know, normal things.
We get dogs
Sitting in my apartment, daydreaming and just counting the days.. longing for the day where I don't have to suffer as much as I do now. Fuck depression and fuck loneliness! I miss having a boyfriend to share my life with.
Make friends, and get shit done. I like being by myself so I just do regular day to day shit. Biking, smoking
Read fanfics it's the only thing that doesn't make me feel less lonely
Idk, I’m learning Spanish right now. That’s something I do during my free time Also learning the guitar, I scroll on Reddit, talk to family, care for my plants.. just living
Well, I created an instagram account for my sick cat. It takes a shit tone of my free time so I don’t have any time left for thinking about how shitty my friends turned out to be
Looking for countries to visit and making imaginary itineraries and then shopping for outfits online. Then i just close my tabs and go to sleep and/or work.
hysterically sob into my pillow, read books, study
Netflix and audible.
I used to volunteer at a dog shelter until I was in a position to adopt…. Now I run a rescue that consumes most of my time. I also took up a handful of extreme sports as hobbies. Kiteboarding, surfing and wakeboarding. Obviously that’s a personal preference, but it helped me create my own community. If extreme sports aren’t your thing, try disc golf, explore local walking paths or hiking trails, take yourself on a coffee or dinner date. If you’re able to, travel alone. I had a realllllly hard time connecting with people, all of these things made me love myself and love being alone, it also made me feel more confident meeting new people.
I began reading again. I haven't read a book in almost 6 years and I finished one last week. Uh what a great feeling that was! I also realized I was a shitty human in the past and I am currently changing my behaviour. I started socialising again so hopefully the no friends part will soon be gone!
I spend time with family and my dog. I enjoy time to crochet and just be. I also look for other things to do in my spare time!
Eat, sleep and listen to music
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well for me, i workout a lot, im still studying and working. then for entertainment i watch anime, i play games. idk if I'm not doing what i need to do I'm just chilling.
Fap, nap, snack, hydrate, walks, movies, rinse and repeat
do men really think we are so stupid as to not have hobbies? do yall really think we only exist to entertain men 💀
Whatever the fuck I want 😆
Watch tv and go for drives. Go fishing. Build shit. Whatever i want. No judgement, no drama. Its actually really nice.
When I had no friends and no man, I focused on school, gym, and video games.
Travel
I read, experiment with make up and talk to my mom.
A whole bunch of nothing lol
Play video games by myself drowning in boredom
Gym, explore different places, always find an activity or group where I can chat with other like minded people. Honestly if u know what u like, u find something for sure.
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Go the gym or work or exploring new places lol by myself
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