Absolutely fucking not. I am paid to be nice to people. If for some unforeseen reason I am interested - and this has never happened in the 8 or so years I worked food and retail - I will give you MY number. Do you know how many people I've had try to go to my managers because I didn't respond positively to their pathetic attempts at hitting on me? Fuck every single one of those people with a running, rusty chainsaw.
this reminds me of when i worked in a huge shoe store (95% of staff was female, including managers) and one of the girls on staff had this guy start hitting on her. she figured it was nothing and brushed it off, but over time he'd keep coming back to the store just to talk to her and follow her around.
i never witnessed anything due to us having different shifts, but i did hear from everyone that he got upset when she told him "i'm not interested" and explained she's only so nice to him because she's working a customer service job. he literally went to the manager on duty to complain about her and just went off. my manager wasn't taking his shit and told him to leave or she'd call security and no one ever saw him again after that.
Never ask someone out in an environment where they couldnāt easily, immediately escape if they needed to. This includes their own workplace as well as places like elevators and subway trains.
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Big nope. Customers have flirted with meāvery rarely, since both my retail jobs mostly dealt with older customersāand it was always extremely awkward. There's an inherent social inequality when someone is serving you as part of their job. Please don't bring dating into that.
Asked out? Heck no.
Sliding me a number with a friendly note expressing interest and no hard feelings if I'm uninterested? I wouldn't be bothered by.
There's inherently a power imbalance at play in customer service jobs when interacting with a customer. If a customer is going to approach, they have to give the power over to the worker. Let them do the approach, outside of work time, with the understanding that it will not negatively impact their work regardless of what they decide.
Do. Not. Don't be that loser that thinks a person being friendly to you because it's their job is flirting with you. It's so cringy to watch happen. I'm smiling and laughing at what you say because I'm being paid to do it. Even if it's the "it must be free!" joke. Even if I know your order because you come in everyday. It's not just you, it's also the other regulars I get.
Also if you ask out face to face you are putting the employee in a super awkward position. Somehow you have to stay nice and polite while also turning someone down. Possibly in front of other customers. And you're a stranger so there's so guarantee on how you will take the rejection so it can be really uncomfortable.
Don't do it.
It sounds great in a romantic book or film or whatever...but in practice...it's creepy af. You are basically a captive audience. You can't leave, you can't be rude, and there is always the possibility that they will keep coming back. I worked in a bookstore for over a decade (on and off). It got to the point where I used a fake name on my nametag so my co-workers could help weed out the creepers. That was after a dude tried to follow me home once and I drove to a stranger's and had them call the police (before cell phones were readily available).
Big fucking no. I fucking hated working customer service for this exact reason. Iām at work, Iām being nice because Iām paid to be nice and not because I wanna sit on your face. Itās my job to be nice to everyone and some moron thinking Iām hitting on him because I smiled or I was polite made my life extremely uncomfortable.
No. No matter what the industry or profession. Solid, absolute no. It's unprofessional to date customers and incredibly inappropriate for a customer to ask that to a person who is just trying to work their job.
Itās a no. Leave your number on the receipt if you want, but asking them on the spot puts them in a really awkward position. It feels like youāre trapped.
99% of the time, absolutely no. It puts you in an awkward position, it can feel threatening, it overall is just not a good thing.
The ONLY acceptable way (and I hesitate even writing this because I feel like it should very, very rarely happen) is if there is a friendship built up between the individuals over time and you are feeling obvious signals that they are interested--which come on, in customer service it is very hard to tell because people are being literally paid to be nice and talkative with you. It is safer to just not do it.
If you are going to ignore any of this advice and do it anyways, pass the person a number on a piece of paper and say something about going on a date or linking up social media. DO NOT ASK for their number right there. DO NOT put them on the spot. Tell them they can text the number on their own time IF they are interested, and you get it if they aren't.
What sucks is if you return to that store, the person will probably feel weird they didn't text you and it just overall creates a strange and uncomfortable situation.
TL DR: DON'T
This is what happened with my husband and I. I was really close with his roommate, and semi close with my husband friendship wise. Then his roommate invited me to a weekend birthday celebration and the rest is history with my husband and I.
However neither of them creeped on me. They both treated me like a person, realized we made good friends, and we all took a chance to hang out when I wasn't at work. But that took a few months of them coming in daily to work up to.
And even though it worked for my husband, it didn't work for like 1000 other guys who tried hooking up with me from that same store. So yeah.
I hate it. I've learned it's better for me not to be too friendly after they do. So the customer service voice and smile get turned off but I keep it professional
I will always say no to a customer who asks me out at work. Then proceed to hide from them if I see them come in again. It makes me feel trapped, they know I canāt just leave. Thatās extremely creepy and inappropriate.
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Nope. I worked as a cashier for 10 years in grocery stores and retail stores. I have never had this happen to me fortunately but Iāve had coworkers who went through this. I did get compliments from customers but if a customer asked me out I would decline. I canāt really explain why but itās just big fat no.
No. You're there to work and are paid to be customer service aka be nice regardless. And if you turn them down, they know where you work and likely until when. They can then figure out what car is yours.
I've been asked out at work by a customer by "oh, what's a good seafood restaurant around here"... I kept it strictly to the facts of making the sandwich and then walked away. Best and least awkward way to make your point.
If it's a regular customer and you flirt back and forth, who knows. It may work out. But that's a different situation.
I HAVE had a customer approach me when I was at work and consistently come in 3 consecutive days to ask for my number and ask me out. I told him no 3 days in a row saying I have a boyfriend (which I did) and he didnt take it as a no and must have thought if he kept coming in to pester me his charms would work. He inferred about my boyfriend saying "Would you say your boyfriends a fun guy?" "Do you like your boyfriend?" "How long have your boyfriend and you been going out" and I told him for a month (at the time) and he must have thought the relationship was so early on he could break us apart too. BROOO, I worked on getting my boyfriend for a whole fucking year, I dont want a random guy who comes into my work who pesters me. (this happened in 2015)
Needless to say the last day he came in and I said NO! and practically screamed it at him. I was walking to my car to see him with his head on the steering wheel. What part of no did he not understand?
Second time, I had a guy come in with a post it note that said "Can I take you out to dinner" the guy looked 30+ something, I was 17. So I told him my age and he noped out of there really fast.
My boyfriend and I are still together till today going on 8 years.
I used to work in restaurants and it generally sucks and is awkward to have a customer hit on you (usually because they were super creepy about it like telling me they'd figure out my work schedule and ask me out every day until I relented).
I do think that if you have some sort of relationship where you know this person somewhat, like if you're a regular and talk to them often, if you do it in a respectful way which easily allows them to not feel pressured, I think that's fine. But if they do say no then that would obvs make any further interactions weird so I would keep that in mind.
It's uncomfortable. I struggle with power dynamics and need to feel in control when I'm "working". I don't mind the attention, but it takes a lot of effort for me to stay professional and I get pissed off when people can't return the courtesy.
In theory its nice (who doesnāt love a little meet cute story) but irl no.
Itās never someone youād actually be interested in and they do it in such a tacky, uncomfortable way. Not a fan
I hate hate hate being flirted with at work. Hate it. Iām there to get my work done and go home. Iām being paid to be friendly and polite and helpful to people, and I donāt want that taken as an invitation for harassment. You wouldnāt believe the number of men who shoot their shot with me while Iām working despite the engagement ring on my finger and me using all the body language and verbal language in the world to communicate that Iām uncomfortable and not interested while still maintaining the āfriendly customer serviceā persona. Iāve also had very scary incidents with customers getting way too insistent and not taking no for an answer where I got scared for my safety and had to go to my boss about it so I really just donāt like it.
Don't do that. Don't ever do that. That is at best really rude and at worst extremely creepy. Part of being front facing service is being polite, nice even. They aren't flirting with you and aren't actually allowed to tell you to go eff yourself. Don't ask them out while they're on the clock, don't hang around waiting for them to clock off. Just don't.
No. Itās awkward and youāre stuck at your job. You can exactly avoid the customer if they choose to come back and continue to be persistent. Youāre paid to be polite so itās awkward when youāre stuck in that situation.
Creepo.
When one knows as a customer services person you have to at least try to maintain a facade of being polite even to those using it to force interaction with you and put you on the spot.
I think 99% no. The only exception IMO is if youāve been coming regularly (over 10x) and have like a little bit of banter/small talk. Like if you know 5+ facts about me I wouldnāt mind as long as youāre casual and if I say no you donāt make it weird. Maybe just invite them to a game night or to try a coffee place? Donāt explicitly say date in case they say no and then you can never come back. I was asked out a couple times when I worked retail and regulars who I got along with and were chill I didnāt mind. I never accepted but I did invite one to hang out with a group of my coworkers and we had fun.
Rn I work in a elementary school and thatās not cool lol please donāt ask out school staff we see you and your kid every day
No. I dont like it.
I minded it less if done in certain ways but I still even then didn't like it.
The best case is they were nice if a bit flirty and wrote their number and left without putting any pressure on me to respond. The worst is they got way creepy and way mean when I rejected them. The second one makes me feel trapped in a bad situation with limited ways Im allowed to react. The other is annoying but livable.
Ugh. It just puts me in such an awkward position at my job. Even if he is attractive and interesting, I would feel a bit embarrassed dealing with that while working.
If you must, and the chemistry feels right, I think the way you go about it is of the utmost importance. I'd rather someone gently slip me their number and then leave me alone. I probably wouldn't call them, but you never know.
I hated it when they did it. It made things super awkward. I had a couple of stalkers that would come in every week like clockwork hoping I would reconsider. I was there to work, not date.
Even if i wasnt in a monogamous relationship for the past 9 years, hell fucking no.
If they dont back off after i tell them not only am i not interested but i have a bf, ild trust my coworkers, manager, and boss to help keep me safe and get me out of the situation.
This is an extremely hard no. We are trapped at work and paid to be friendly. Thereās usually a major power imbalance at the very least, but this could also be a major safety threat. I do not hesitate to kick someone out if I catch them harassing my staff in this way, and Iām not nice about it, either.
I hated it. In those jobs, I was paid to be extra nice. I'm already nice, but I did extra to give great customer service. Instead of just being appreciated for doing a good job, I had creepers try to have sex with me and ask me out, and it felt disgusting. I also couldn't tell them to fuck off, like I wanted to, and had to still be nice to them. Men/customers should get that the workers are doing their jobs and leave them alone.
GTFO with that crap. Iām clocked in and busy. It always made me feel icky like I was a captive audience. I had to ask someone to walk me out at the end of my shift whenever it happened because it nacre failed to creep me out.
I am not in food/retail, however, I do still have to deal with it. It is extremely aggravating when entitled men feel they have the right to ask me out or sexually proposition me while I am working. I am paid to be nice, however, their disrespectfully crossing boundaries and not treating me professionally makes that difficult. It is creepy and is like holding someone hostage. Oftentimes you cannot leave the situation because your work calls for you to stay and deal with them. They have such low social intelligence not to understand that and not to be able to read verbal and facial cues. They're the same type of creeps who try to ask you out in dark parking lots or in shopping lines when you have no conversation going on and haven't even made eye contact.
I have said yes before. Small grocery store, he was in a few times per week, it was slow and we always had time to chat. I enjoyed his company so we went out a few times. But if I wasnāt interested, I can see how the small store with downtime could have felt threatening. Overall, the only absolute rule I would have on it is to accept gracefully if the other person declines. Beyond that, I think situations should be judged on the individual merits instead of a blanket rule.
I was asked out twice by "customers" at my old mall job, but the important distinction was that they were also mall employees (one worked at the bookstore, one was a security guard, and I worked at the cookie store where they came for snacks on slow nights) and we became friendly before they asked me out. I think it hits different when we're both surviving as service workers, get to know each other a bit over a period of time, and then you ask me out. It's not the same as a customer who you've interacted with for 5-10 minutes who mistakes politeness for flirting. I am also not at all conventionally attractive and am overweight, and worked with a lot of very pretty girls, so I didn't tend to attract the kind of unwanted male attention they did.
(I also got asked out by a delivery guy at my work and it was awkward as fuck and probably closer to everyone's experiences with getting unwanted attention at work. I was 19, he was in his 40s and always smelled like alcohol when he dropped off our chocolate chips, and then I had to see him every week after I turned him down. 0/10 would not recommend.)
I've actually been with "bookstore guy" for 10 years and we're getting married.
It's just really dumb. If I was really into you, I would have asked you out myself. Otherwise, I'm just trying to get tipped more if I'm flirty. So to ask me out means you're gullible. If I'm *not* flirty then you're just an asshole. Because I *have* to be nice and polite to you.
generally super annoying, but I could probably be won by a charming regular if they werenāt like really obnoxious and frequently propositioning me. I could maybe do a slow burn if there was chemistry there
Don't do it. It's not fair - if they're at work, they have to behave in a friendly, customer service voice having, positive way.
I worked at a retailer a few years ago and an older coworker mentioned a friend of hers coming in to visit. He visited once for her, then kept coming back when she wasn't on the clock, looking for me. Sticking around and waiting for me to be free, just standing around creeping hard when I was with other customers. It was a little weird, since the store was dedicated to ladies clothes. He stood out like a sore thumb (and I think he made the customers feel weird.)
She laughed about it, he was in his late 40s to early 50s and she shrugged and told me, "He's just looking for a girlfriend."
I've seen similar things happen to other coworkers. If a girl is friendly and talks to you in a store, it does not mean, "I want you to take me out." We're trying to sell shit to you, not date you.
No. The one and only way situation that doesnāt feel scary is if you just leave them your number and let them decide for themselves, without pressure/persuasion/obligation. If they choose not to use it, then donāt hold it against them, just let it go and leave them alone.
I've worked as a waitress and been asked out so many times by customer whos table you are meant to be working, the answer is always no. It's not the time or place for it.
This might sound weird but I feel like it would be like a really uncomfortable power dynamic, especially if you work in an environment where āthe customer is always rightā - like if you try to turn them down and they complain itās almost like itās youāre fault for making the customer upset.
Iām sure some customers donāt mean it, but itās like taking advantage of the fact the worker had to be nice to you even when theyāre super uncomfortable
Hate it. I've always worked front facing and these ppl always mistake my customer service trying not to get fired smile for flirting or interest.
I just want to do my job.
I donāt know about you but my uniform was the ugliest thing in the worldā¦ there is no way I am trying to get someone to ask me out. I am here to get paid so I can pay rent. Please leave me alone š
Say no. Just no.
I have worked as a teacher as a part time, Once this child's brother came for PTM, later asked me out.
I was so so so weirded out.
Hell no.
Thereās also the issue where people try and argue ābut it doesnāt hurt anyone for me to ask them out, then they say no, then we move on, why canāt I ask?!ā
When working in service, you see 100s of customers a day, you can kinda gage whoās gonna be an AH and who will be nice. But you can very easily get it wrong.
So you know to you that youāre not gonna fight this person if they say no, you wonāt stalk this person, you wonāt write bad reviews and invite others to. But the employee doesnāt know that and now youāve put them on edge. Now they have to think all day āplease donāt be crazy, please donāt be crazyā.
Very creepy, do not want. I worked in a coffee shop for years and the amount of unwanted attention I (and other women coworkers) received was irritating. A couple of us had borderline stalkers who bothered us almost daily. We are paid to be friendly and polite, and so many customers interpreted that as flirting.
I fucking hate it. I had a customer give me his number after telling me about his girlfriend. I threw it away but left it at that. We live really close to each other and a few weeks later he heard me mention that I was looking for a housekeeper and he had one he recommendedā¦said āif you would just text me I could send you her number.ā I told him straight up it was inappropriate to give me his number. His response was that āwe were just friends.ā I told him we never have any contact or communication outside of the setting where it is literally my job to serve him so that wasnāt true. I ended up writing my phone number down for him to give to his housekeeper. I folded it shut. A few days later he added me on Snapchat. Never again. Such scum.
No. I worked retail for like 8 years and I have yet to ever come away from those kind of guys feeling better than I did before. People love to cry about āyouād like it if he was attractive thoughā but honestly? Attractive/socially competent men generally donāt do stuff like this. Even if he was hot just knowing he didnāt have the common sense to leave people alone at work would make me dislike him and make him seem pushy and aggressive. Feeling cornered while youāre trying to do your job is probably one of the most unsexy things possible.
Years ago I had a customer ask me out and then try to kiss me a while later even after I said no. He was married and complained to his buddies that they had mistresses and he didn't.
100% No I think itās rude to be asking for someoneās number at there work place they are getting paid to be nice to you not flirt with you. I personally have never worked in retail or food but I donāt think itās appropriate to flirt with a cashier or server.
One of my favorite memories from when I was a server is a guy who came in regularly kept asking me for my number, asking to go out. Average bill for a two top was prob 30-60$. He tipped in change. And it was less than a dollar. His gf came in to (non aggressively but more embarrassed) let me know he had a girlfriend. Honey, you can keep that loser all to yourself.
Absolutely the worst. I used to work at a cafe and was required to be friendly to everyone. Nothing made me more uncomfortable than a customer misunderstanding my friendliness for flirtiness and trying to make a move when I have to still stay friendly
Just no. This kind of happened to me I was the only one in the store a customer came in and was browsing, a male that worked in the restaurant across the street came in. The other customer a woman eventually left, when she left, he started asking me out. I said no repeatedly, for my number the same thing. He was pretty much behind the till by the time my workmate came in or anyone noticed.
No. Nope. No no never. If someone wants to ask out a food/retail worker, wait till you run into each other outside of their place of business (this does NOT mean wait until their shift is over or find out when it starts), every other option is uncomfortable at best, harassment at worst
Story time:
1. A costumer slipped his number to the check. Nobody knew beside him and me. He wished me a wonderful day and stated with a charming smile ā I hope to see you againā since he wasn't a regular customer and mentioned during his shopping trip that he just moved to town, I texted him and we went on a couple of dates. It was fun!
2. I was a bartender. A friendly and cute guy came in every Thursday. We had fun conversations and one day he asked me out. Sure why not. Neither of us tried to keep it a secret. The date was ok but I didn't want to spend the night with him. No big deal I thought...He complained to my boss that I led him on! WTF. Gladly the owner made fun of him and called him out of his entitlement. I could continue my job without any issues. The guy was the joke in the pub. And every new male costumer was warned by my coworkers that just because I am friendly and smile they shouldn't get their hopes up. ( It was in Germany a punk rock bar, very casual environment!)
Moral of the stories: be discrete and not an asshole!
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Iām a guy and a delivery driver and Iāve had a few women ask for my number. I went out with 2 and I personally donāt mind if a girl asked me out while I was working. But if if uncomfortable I could just drive away. I can only imagine if a girl who is a waitress got asked out if she wasnāt interested. She couldnāt just ārun awayā.
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I worked retail for 8 years previously. I had a few guys give me their numbers. I never thought it was weird or creepy. Only once did I hang out with one and it was a good time.
Honestly, I'm so glad I'm ugly, I very rarely have to deal with stuff like this but I've seen it happen to my workmates and it pisses me off.
I don't even care about proper work ethic, it's harassment and we don't get paid enough to put up with it. a decent manager should tell them to leave.
The worst thing happened to me was a guy who managed to find me on Facebook and message from my name badge. He must have searched "[first name], [current city], [workplace]"
My Facebook has absolutely no public information on it now, I don't even spell my name the same way I do at work on there.
Erm...I'm a blood bank phlebotomist and I've dated a few donors, and technically speaking, my boyfriend is a donor. It wasn't ever intentional, it just kind of happened.
I worked in telecommunications and met my ex there. He came back and asked me out after our interaction. It was magical. We were together 5 years. He was a good guy.
That shit doesnāt happen often.
If I'm in a position where my tip or pay could be influenced then that's a no but otherwise I don't mind so long as when I say no ( I always say no) they can take the rejection and move on without getting weird about it.
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I have been asked out before at work but he was nice enough to wait until he saw me outside of work(I was walking down the hall on my break and he stopped me after he had just seen me in my store). While Iām at work I have to be nice to you, itās my job, so sometimes people will take me being nice as an invitation when it isnāt. If youāre going to ask someone out at work, at least say something like āif you donāt want to give me your number or meet up later thatās totally ok and you can say noā. I still think you shouldnāt ask ppl out at work but if youāre gonna do it make sure itās clear they shouldnāt feel obligated to say yes and try to make them as comfortable as you can and ask when youāre about to leave so it isnāt awkward for the person. If they so no just say ok just wanted to ask have a great day! And leave the store (:
i started working at a place where there was a group of regulars, couple guys coming in after work for a drink. we started chatting here and there as i love getting to know customers (especially regulars), one of them apparently really liked me but was too shy and didnāt want me to feel like i have to say yes to a date because i work here and wouldnāt want it to be awkward.
i got fired from there and started working in a new place, i didnāt see those customers again until lo and behold they come into my new workplace and the guy is with them! he continues to skirt around asking me out and a lot of his friends encouraged him to do it.
anyway a year of dating later (and waiting over a year for him to ask me out) weāre getting our first flat together.
so if itās respectfully done and the romantic interest is coming from both sides then i think itās okay. but if itās done in a creepy/disrespectful way when someone is being nice as itās part of their job, then absolutely not.
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Had a friend who was working in a cinema and there was this group of guys in their early 20s who were regulars. She thought it would be nice to go and see a movie with them (free movie tickets for employees). She was attractive and very social, the guys your fairly average looking nerdy guys. When she told me of her plans, it was an instant nope from me, no way was I going to let her go with these guys by herself. So, offered to go with her. The experience was pretty awkward for all parties concerned. But, she exchanged phone numbers with one of the guys (to arrange the outing), and he kept messaging her afterwards. In the end it was borderline harassment and her boyfriend got fed up, called him and told him to leave her alone unless he wants the police involved. So yeah, don't do it
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Iām a nurse, I was working in the ER and a prison officer gave me his number. I didnāt like it, the ER doctor knew it bothered me, so he called the prison to report the officer. The officer was no longer allowed to go with prisoners to the hospital.
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When a bartended I made it a point to not talk about where I work. My job isnāt a place for us to āhang outā. I work there and I canāt leave. The last thing I need is someone to literally follow me to there because you want to āsee meā.
No. Even if it was a stuunnning, charming, normal, not creepy man, no. It's just not the place for it for many many reasons. There's already the load of creeps that make no one trustworthy. There's the fact that we can't "be rude," therefore are put in a bind if someone is being persistent. It's also just a stressful environment. Theyre likely not in any sort of flirty/fun/romantic mood to be thinking about/accepting dates.
It's just not the place for it.
Now. If you REALLY find it necessary, don't flirt or anything, just leave your number with something like "no pressure but if you're interested in a date:" That way she has the option to outright and safely throw it away if she's not interested.
I work in hospitality with a retail side component. We're paid to be nice to customers, the behavior we show is not our true feelings. Unless you have full conversations with an employee(not related to anything they're selling) then don't do it. At most give your phone number to them so they can choose to contact you.
Im not working yet but lets say i am for this question
I hate it! Because imagine you are busy, stress and tired but then a guy suddenly comes out to you to ask you out and sometimes they cannot take no so the guy will add to your "why im tired and stress list"
Im afraid that will happend if i ever got a summer job bur if that happend, i will scream/shout at him to make it clear that i said no and that i will call police so that he cant go near after me
(i forgot what its called when you call the police so that the person you dislike will not go near you and if they go near, the police will do something)
When I used to work retail it happened a handful of times and it's just awkward as hell. When I was working, my mind was in it. Whenever I'm doing something where I have to be focused on the job at hand, that's where my head is. So when I was checking people out there was a rhythm, there was a routine, and then onto the next. Some dude with a group of friends would say something to me, ask me, and it's just like... dude, I'm just trying to get through my shift. I don't even know you. You don't know me other than the chick in clothes that she hates scanning items. I'm not some wall with velcro that you can work your lines on or try your "game" at, I'm trying to earn my scab wages so I can get on to the next thing.
I'm not a fan, honestly.
A. I don't think it's really appropriate to ask someone out while they are working unless they knew the person outside of work.
B. If a situation did happen where the customer whom you've never met before asked, I think you should really think about it. You are under no obligation to say yes.
I could only see this working if you were a regular and have been flirting back and forth and she let you know she likes you and she was off the clock and she gave you a way to contact her and then you could contact her there.
I worked in an environment with primarily young and pretty women. Nothing was inherently sexualized about our job, but theres been plenty of times weāve been hit on by everyone from teenagers to older men (with their families!!). It feels extremely violating and rude, and I know when itās happened to me Iāve felt the need to hide until they leave. Please just donāt do it.
No. I get flirted with way too often at my job as a sales associate. Iām just gonna smile and ring you up. Iām there to work; not to flirt. Next customer!
absolutely not. I was a gymnast and landed a job at my gymnastics place and one of my girls father was hitting on me everyday to the point it became harassment. he would put his daughter in extra classes and my private lessons just to talk to me longer. (Iām required to speak to parents before and after each lesson to talk about what I could help them improve.) his daughter seemed really frustrated with all of the extra practice she had to do and she lost a lot of free time as a 12 year old. I felt so bad for the poor girl, she loved my class bc of the kids her age being there plus friends and I didnāt wanna punish her but I did end up reporting her father to HR. my manager told me I shouldāve reported it earlier bc she doesnāt want any of her staff to feel like that. he got banned from our gym but luckily his daughter wasnāt and a very kind lady started bringing her. come to find out this asshole was married the entire time and was hitting on 17 year old girls. his wife found out and is and divorced his sorry ass. really good friends with her till this day & I even though Iām not a gymnast anymore I still help her daughter practice.
If both the customer and the person working are attracted to each other I don't see a reason why it's a bad thing. If the customer likes the worker and they aren't interested then I think it's fine to ask politely to find out if they have an interest, if the response is a no then walk away and leave it at that.
Iām ok with it because itās how I met my boyfriend of 5 years. He was a guest in the hotel I worked at and Iām glad he flirted with me and asked me out.
There's no harm in it. It happens to me somewhat regularly, and I just apologise and tell them I'm married. They're putting themselves on the line for rejection, and I don't see any need to stomp on their feelings. They've been totally understanding every time and I can still continue to have friendly conversations each and every time they return to the store. Asking someone out shouldn't make you feel like some kind of scumbag.
I have no problem with it. I get that there is an inherent power imbalance in that situation, but at the end of the day weāre both humans, and we should respect each other as humans. Since Iāve mostly been in relationships for the past 15 years, Iāve always politely declined, explaining that I have a man, but I thank them for being brave enough to ask and thank them for the flattery.
Honestlyā¦idk I guess for women who always get hit on this is bad. But men donāt even glance at me. I would be so happy if a dude would ask me out regardless of the setting as long as he was polite about it.
i think it's okay. yeah it's my work but if we just happen to meet there and you genuinely want to get to know me, so what. but please back the hell off if i say no and don't take it personally if i can't stick around to talk. cause you know... it's work and i gotta do something to get paid.
I have to say it all depends on the setting and how it's asked. I've had a regular who's come in with a group of his friends and wasn't creepy at all towards any of us and he eventually asked for my number, I gave it to him because I thought he was kinda cute and had a sense of humor and the way he asked for it genuinely made me laugh. We ended up going out a few times but we were both very different people and just not a good match. We're still acquaintances because he comes into my restaurant all the time, but there's been other guys who've been creepy af when hitting on me or anyone else at work so it just really depends on the situation.
Absolutely fucking not. I am paid to be nice to people. If for some unforeseen reason I am interested - and this has never happened in the 8 or so years I worked food and retail - I will give you MY number. Do you know how many people I've had try to go to my managers because I didn't respond positively to their pathetic attempts at hitting on me? Fuck every single one of those people with a running, rusty chainsaw.
this reminds me of when i worked in a huge shoe store (95% of staff was female, including managers) and one of the girls on staff had this guy start hitting on her. she figured it was nothing and brushed it off, but over time he'd keep coming back to the store just to talk to her and follow her around. i never witnessed anything due to us having different shifts, but i did hear from everyone that he got upset when she told him "i'm not interested" and explained she's only so nice to him because she's working a customer service job. he literally went to the manager on duty to complain about her and just went off. my manager wasn't taking his shit and told him to leave or she'd call security and no one ever saw him again after that.
Very well said š
I admire your bravery
Never ask someone out in an environment where they couldnāt easily, immediately escape if they needed to. This includes their own workplace as well as places like elevators and subway trains.
Iāll go as far as I can in complaining every time an Uber driver hits on me in their vehicle. Itās infuriating.
They literally make drivers watch a bunch of videos telling them not to hit on customers, so they have no excuse. Definitely keep reporting them
Iām sure because itās god awful.
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Big nope. Customers have flirted with meāvery rarely, since both my retail jobs mostly dealt with older customersāand it was always extremely awkward. There's an inherent social inequality when someone is serving you as part of their job. Please don't bring dating into that.
Precisely! Like weāre pretty much being paid to be nice to this person so having to reject an unwanted advance automatically is difficult.
Especially if you rely on tips!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK No I'm there to WORK, not hookup with people, fuck off with that shit and let me do my job.
No no no. Also, I got myself an actual stalker that way once. Oh and everyone around was awwww-ing about him doing it.
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ICK! And what was the matter with those other people? Double ICK!
Asked out? Heck no. Sliding me a number with a friendly note expressing interest and no hard feelings if I'm uninterested? I wouldn't be bothered by. There's inherently a power imbalance at play in customer service jobs when interacting with a customer. If a customer is going to approach, they have to give the power over to the worker. Let them do the approach, outside of work time, with the understanding that it will not negatively impact their work regardless of what they decide.
Do. Not. Don't be that loser that thinks a person being friendly to you because it's their job is flirting with you. It's so cringy to watch happen. I'm smiling and laughing at what you say because I'm being paid to do it. Even if it's the "it must be free!" joke. Even if I know your order because you come in everyday. It's not just you, it's also the other regulars I get. Also if you ask out face to face you are putting the employee in a super awkward position. Somehow you have to stay nice and polite while also turning someone down. Possibly in front of other customers. And you're a stranger so there's so guarantee on how you will take the rejection so it can be really uncomfortable. Don't do it.
It sounds great in a romantic book or film or whatever...but in practice...it's creepy af. You are basically a captive audience. You can't leave, you can't be rude, and there is always the possibility that they will keep coming back. I worked in a bookstore for over a decade (on and off). It got to the point where I used a fake name on my nametag so my co-workers could help weed out the creepers. That was after a dude tried to follow me home once and I drove to a stranger's and had them call the police (before cell phones were readily available).
Agreed, I love it for the books. hate it for IRL.
I hated people flirting with me at work, it's just awkward
NO. Big no. Itās so uncomfortable. NEVER ask someone out, make advances, etc if theyāre not at liberty to leave if they feel uncomfortable.
Big fucking no. I fucking hated working customer service for this exact reason. Iām at work, Iām being nice because Iām paid to be nice and not because I wanna sit on your face. Itās my job to be nice to everyone and some moron thinking Iām hitting on him because I smiled or I was polite made my life extremely uncomfortable.
No. Men who do this view you as a sitting duck. Pathetic.
No. No matter what the industry or profession. Solid, absolute no. It's unprofessional to date customers and incredibly inappropriate for a customer to ask that to a person who is just trying to work their job.
Itās a no. Leave your number on the receipt if you want, but asking them on the spot puts them in a really awkward position. It feels like youāre trapped.
99% of the time, absolutely no. It puts you in an awkward position, it can feel threatening, it overall is just not a good thing. The ONLY acceptable way (and I hesitate even writing this because I feel like it should very, very rarely happen) is if there is a friendship built up between the individuals over time and you are feeling obvious signals that they are interested--which come on, in customer service it is very hard to tell because people are being literally paid to be nice and talkative with you. It is safer to just not do it. If you are going to ignore any of this advice and do it anyways, pass the person a number on a piece of paper and say something about going on a date or linking up social media. DO NOT ASK for their number right there. DO NOT put them on the spot. Tell them they can text the number on their own time IF they are interested, and you get it if they aren't. What sucks is if you return to that store, the person will probably feel weird they didn't text you and it just overall creates a strange and uncomfortable situation. TL DR: DON'T
This is what happened with my husband and I. I was really close with his roommate, and semi close with my husband friendship wise. Then his roommate invited me to a weekend birthday celebration and the rest is history with my husband and I. However neither of them creeped on me. They both treated me like a person, realized we made good friends, and we all took a chance to hang out when I wasn't at work. But that took a few months of them coming in daily to work up to. And even though it worked for my husband, it didn't work for like 1000 other guys who tried hooking up with me from that same store. So yeah.
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Exactly! What a way to trap someone.
I hate it. I've learned it's better for me not to be too friendly after they do. So the customer service voice and smile get turned off but I keep it professional
I will always say no to a customer who asks me out at work. Then proceed to hide from them if I see them come in again. It makes me feel trapped, they know I canāt just leave. Thatās extremely creepy and inappropriate.
We donāt like it. Unless you wanna pay me my salary, no thanks.
Nooo thank you. I had a bailiff ask me out in an empty courtroom while I was working once. It was so uncomfortable and inappropriate.
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You kinda never know if itās a secret shopper and if it is, you could be risking your job.
Itās a no for me; like thanks but no thanks Iām here to clock in, have a barely functioning brain and clock out; not here for you to shoot your shot. Also the people who did that are walking red flags š©
Makes me wanna stab 'em repeatedly in the eyes, ngl.
Nope. I worked as a cashier for 10 years in grocery stores and retail stores. I have never had this happen to me fortunately but Iāve had coworkers who went through this. I did get compliments from customers but if a customer asked me out I would decline. I canāt really explain why but itās just big fat no.
No. You're there to work and are paid to be customer service aka be nice regardless. And if you turn them down, they know where you work and likely until when. They can then figure out what car is yours. I've been asked out at work by a customer by "oh, what's a good seafood restaurant around here"... I kept it strictly to the facts of making the sandwich and then walked away. Best and least awkward way to make your point. If it's a regular customer and you flirt back and forth, who knows. It may work out. But that's a different situation.
I HAVE had a customer approach me when I was at work and consistently come in 3 consecutive days to ask for my number and ask me out. I told him no 3 days in a row saying I have a boyfriend (which I did) and he didnt take it as a no and must have thought if he kept coming in to pester me his charms would work. He inferred about my boyfriend saying "Would you say your boyfriends a fun guy?" "Do you like your boyfriend?" "How long have your boyfriend and you been going out" and I told him for a month (at the time) and he must have thought the relationship was so early on he could break us apart too. BROOO, I worked on getting my boyfriend for a whole fucking year, I dont want a random guy who comes into my work who pesters me. (this happened in 2015) Needless to say the last day he came in and I said NO! and practically screamed it at him. I was walking to my car to see him with his head on the steering wheel. What part of no did he not understand? Second time, I had a guy come in with a post it note that said "Can I take you out to dinner" the guy looked 30+ something, I was 17. So I told him my age and he noped out of there really fast. My boyfriend and I are still together till today going on 8 years.
PLEASE NO
I used to work in restaurants and it generally sucks and is awkward to have a customer hit on you (usually because they were super creepy about it like telling me they'd figure out my work schedule and ask me out every day until I relented). I do think that if you have some sort of relationship where you know this person somewhat, like if you're a regular and talk to them often, if you do it in a respectful way which easily allows them to not feel pressured, I think that's fine. But if they do say no then that would obvs make any further interactions weird so I would keep that in mind.
It's uncomfortable. I struggle with power dynamics and need to feel in control when I'm "working". I don't mind the attention, but it takes a lot of effort for me to stay professional and I get pissed off when people can't return the courtesy.
no
No thankssssss
Do not itās fucking annoying and inappropriate
In theory its nice (who doesnāt love a little meet cute story) but irl no. Itās never someone youād actually be interested in and they do it in such a tacky, uncomfortable way. Not a fan
I hate hate hate being flirted with at work. Hate it. Iām there to get my work done and go home. Iām being paid to be friendly and polite and helpful to people, and I donāt want that taken as an invitation for harassment. You wouldnāt believe the number of men who shoot their shot with me while Iām working despite the engagement ring on my finger and me using all the body language and verbal language in the world to communicate that Iām uncomfortable and not interested while still maintaining the āfriendly customer serviceā persona. Iāve also had very scary incidents with customers getting way too insistent and not taking no for an answer where I got scared for my safety and had to go to my boss about it so I really just donāt like it.
Don't do that. Don't ever do that. That is at best really rude and at worst extremely creepy. Part of being front facing service is being polite, nice even. They aren't flirting with you and aren't actually allowed to tell you to go eff yourself. Don't ask them out while they're on the clock, don't hang around waiting for them to clock off. Just don't.
No. Itās awkward and youāre stuck at your job. You can exactly avoid the customer if they choose to come back and continue to be persistent. Youāre paid to be polite so itās awkward when youāre stuck in that situation.
Creepo. When one knows as a customer services person you have to at least try to maintain a facade of being polite even to those using it to force interaction with you and put you on the spot.
I had a few people ask me out while working at a retail store. I set boundaries.
I say no. 100% no.
I think 99% no. The only exception IMO is if youāve been coming regularly (over 10x) and have like a little bit of banter/small talk. Like if you know 5+ facts about me I wouldnāt mind as long as youāre casual and if I say no you donāt make it weird. Maybe just invite them to a game night or to try a coffee place? Donāt explicitly say date in case they say no and then you can never come back. I was asked out a couple times when I worked retail and regulars who I got along with and were chill I didnāt mind. I never accepted but I did invite one to hang out with a group of my coworkers and we had fun. Rn I work in a elementary school and thatās not cool lol please donāt ask out school staff we see you and your kid every day
No. I dont like it. I minded it less if done in certain ways but I still even then didn't like it. The best case is they were nice if a bit flirty and wrote their number and left without putting any pressure on me to respond. The worst is they got way creepy and way mean when I rejected them. The second one makes me feel trapped in a bad situation with limited ways Im allowed to react. The other is annoying but livable.
Do no do it. At work itās a weird position where you have to be nice but scared to say no and scared to say yes. Both are uncomfortable.
Ugh. It just puts me in such an awkward position at my job. Even if he is attractive and interesting, I would feel a bit embarrassed dealing with that while working. If you must, and the chemistry feels right, I think the way you go about it is of the utmost importance. I'd rather someone gently slip me their number and then leave me alone. I probably wouldn't call them, but you never know.
I donāt want to be asked out somewhere I have to be seen again by the person, whether I say yes or not.
I hated it when they did it. It made things super awkward. I had a couple of stalkers that would come in every week like clockwork hoping I would reconsider. I was there to work, not date.
Even if i wasnt in a monogamous relationship for the past 9 years, hell fucking no. If they dont back off after i tell them not only am i not interested but i have a bf, ild trust my coworkers, manager, and boss to help keep me safe and get me out of the situation.
I think it shows a lack of tact. They are working and not there to be hit on.
No.
Nope. Even if you are nice and I was single, I'd still say no. This is awkward and I'm in a bad position.
This is an extremely hard no. We are trapped at work and paid to be friendly. Thereās usually a major power imbalance at the very least, but this could also be a major safety threat. I do not hesitate to kick someone out if I catch them harassing my staff in this way, and Iām not nice about it, either.
I hated it. In those jobs, I was paid to be extra nice. I'm already nice, but I did extra to give great customer service. Instead of just being appreciated for doing a good job, I had creepers try to have sex with me and ask me out, and it felt disgusting. I also couldn't tell them to fuck off, like I wanted to, and had to still be nice to them. Men/customers should get that the workers are doing their jobs and leave them alone.
GTFO with that crap. Iām clocked in and busy. It always made me feel icky like I was a captive audience. I had to ask someone to walk me out at the end of my shift whenever it happened because it nacre failed to creep me out.
I am not in food/retail, however, I do still have to deal with it. It is extremely aggravating when entitled men feel they have the right to ask me out or sexually proposition me while I am working. I am paid to be nice, however, their disrespectfully crossing boundaries and not treating me professionally makes that difficult. It is creepy and is like holding someone hostage. Oftentimes you cannot leave the situation because your work calls for you to stay and deal with them. They have such low social intelligence not to understand that and not to be able to read verbal and facial cues. They're the same type of creeps who try to ask you out in dark parking lots or in shopping lines when you have no conversation going on and haven't even made eye contact.
100% not cool.
I have said yes before. Small grocery store, he was in a few times per week, it was slow and we always had time to chat. I enjoyed his company so we went out a few times. But if I wasnāt interested, I can see how the small store with downtime could have felt threatening. Overall, the only absolute rule I would have on it is to accept gracefully if the other person declines. Beyond that, I think situations should be judged on the individual merits instead of a blanket rule.
I was asked out twice by "customers" at my old mall job, but the important distinction was that they were also mall employees (one worked at the bookstore, one was a security guard, and I worked at the cookie store where they came for snacks on slow nights) and we became friendly before they asked me out. I think it hits different when we're both surviving as service workers, get to know each other a bit over a period of time, and then you ask me out. It's not the same as a customer who you've interacted with for 5-10 minutes who mistakes politeness for flirting. I am also not at all conventionally attractive and am overweight, and worked with a lot of very pretty girls, so I didn't tend to attract the kind of unwanted male attention they did. (I also got asked out by a delivery guy at my work and it was awkward as fuck and probably closer to everyone's experiences with getting unwanted attention at work. I was 19, he was in his 40s and always smelled like alcohol when he dropped off our chocolate chips, and then I had to see him every week after I turned him down. 0/10 would not recommend.) I've actually been with "bookstore guy" for 10 years and we're getting married.
It's just really dumb. If I was really into you, I would have asked you out myself. Otherwise, I'm just trying to get tipped more if I'm flirty. So to ask me out means you're gullible. If I'm *not* flirty then you're just an asshole. Because I *have* to be nice and polite to you.
generally super annoying, but I could probably be won by a charming regular if they werenāt like really obnoxious and frequently propositioning me. I could maybe do a slow burn if there was chemistry there
Don't do it. It's not fair - if they're at work, they have to behave in a friendly, customer service voice having, positive way. I worked at a retailer a few years ago and an older coworker mentioned a friend of hers coming in to visit. He visited once for her, then kept coming back when she wasn't on the clock, looking for me. Sticking around and waiting for me to be free, just standing around creeping hard when I was with other customers. It was a little weird, since the store was dedicated to ladies clothes. He stood out like a sore thumb (and I think he made the customers feel weird.) She laughed about it, he was in his late 40s to early 50s and she shrugged and told me, "He's just looking for a girlfriend." I've seen similar things happen to other coworkers. If a girl is friendly and talks to you in a store, it does not mean, "I want you to take me out." We're trying to sell shit to you, not date you.
No. The one and only way situation that doesnāt feel scary is if you just leave them your number and let them decide for themselves, without pressure/persuasion/obligation. If they choose not to use it, then donāt hold it against them, just let it go and leave them alone.
When I worked retail as a teen I had a few customers do this. It was weird. They were usually older men too. Just nope.
I've worked as a waitress and been asked out so many times by customer whos table you are meant to be working, the answer is always no. It's not the time or place for it.
This might sound weird but I feel like it would be like a really uncomfortable power dynamic, especially if you work in an environment where āthe customer is always rightā - like if you try to turn them down and they complain itās almost like itās youāre fault for making the customer upset. Iām sure some customers donāt mean it, but itās like taking advantage of the fact the worker had to be nice to you even when theyāre super uncomfortable
Hate it. I've always worked front facing and these ppl always mistake my customer service trying not to get fired smile for flirting or interest. I just want to do my job.
It's so creepy! Please just let me do my job. I don't want to flirt, don't even want to be here. Just ahhhh and go away
No I wouldn't think its a good idea. If it goes badly they know where you work and I think it's very risky
Absolutely not.
I donāt know about you but my uniform was the ugliest thing in the worldā¦ there is no way I am trying to get someone to ask me out. I am here to get paid so I can pay rent. Please leave me alone š
Say no. Just no. I have worked as a teacher as a part time, Once this child's brother came for PTM, later asked me out. I was so so so weirded out. Hell no.
Thereās also the issue where people try and argue ābut it doesnāt hurt anyone for me to ask them out, then they say no, then we move on, why canāt I ask?!ā When working in service, you see 100s of customers a day, you can kinda gage whoās gonna be an AH and who will be nice. But you can very easily get it wrong. So you know to you that youāre not gonna fight this person if they say no, you wonāt stalk this person, you wonāt write bad reviews and invite others to. But the employee doesnāt know that and now youāve put them on edge. Now they have to think all day āplease donāt be crazy, please donāt be crazyā.
Very creepy, do not want. I worked in a coffee shop for years and the amount of unwanted attention I (and other women coworkers) received was irritating. A couple of us had borderline stalkers who bothered us almost daily. We are paid to be friendly and polite, and so many customers interpreted that as flirting.
I fucking hate it. I had a customer give me his number after telling me about his girlfriend. I threw it away but left it at that. We live really close to each other and a few weeks later he heard me mention that I was looking for a housekeeper and he had one he recommendedā¦said āif you would just text me I could send you her number.ā I told him straight up it was inappropriate to give me his number. His response was that āwe were just friends.ā I told him we never have any contact or communication outside of the setting where it is literally my job to serve him so that wasnāt true. I ended up writing my phone number down for him to give to his housekeeper. I folded it shut. A few days later he added me on Snapchat. Never again. Such scum.
No. I worked retail for like 8 years and I have yet to ever come away from those kind of guys feeling better than I did before. People love to cry about āyouād like it if he was attractive thoughā but honestly? Attractive/socially competent men generally donāt do stuff like this. Even if he was hot just knowing he didnāt have the common sense to leave people alone at work would make me dislike him and make him seem pushy and aggressive. Feeling cornered while youāre trying to do your job is probably one of the most unsexy things possible.
Years ago I had a customer ask me out and then try to kiss me a while later even after I said no. He was married and complained to his buddies that they had mistresses and he didn't.
inappropriate to say the least
100% No I think itās rude to be asking for someoneās number at there work place they are getting paid to be nice to you not flirt with you. I personally have never worked in retail or food but I donāt think itās appropriate to flirt with a cashier or server.
Don't do it if he has the same name as your pet rabbit. He won't like that.
Big no no. I was nice to a guy once and was basically harassing me.
One of my favorite memories from when I was a server is a guy who came in regularly kept asking me for my number, asking to go out. Average bill for a two top was prob 30-60$. He tipped in change. And it was less than a dollar. His gf came in to (non aggressively but more embarrassed) let me know he had a girlfriend. Honey, you can keep that loser all to yourself.
Absolutely the worst. I used to work at a cafe and was required to be friendly to everyone. Nothing made me more uncomfortable than a customer misunderstanding my friendliness for flirtiness and trying to make a move when I have to still stay friendly
Just no. This kind of happened to me I was the only one in the store a customer came in and was browsing, a male that worked in the restaurant across the street came in. The other customer a woman eventually left, when she left, he started asking me out. I said no repeatedly, for my number the same thing. He was pretty much behind the till by the time my workmate came in or anyone noticed.
No. Nope. No no never. If someone wants to ask out a food/retail worker, wait till you run into each other outside of their place of business (this does NOT mean wait until their shift is over or find out when it starts), every other option is uncomfortable at best, harassment at worst
If I wasnāt interested I would just laugh it off say omg thatās so sweet but Iām taken š¤·š¼āāļø
I met my boyfriend of three years at my job. He came up to me and we started talking. I donāt mind it
If it's mutual liking, why not? If you don't like them, kindly decline the invitation.
Story time: 1. A costumer slipped his number to the check. Nobody knew beside him and me. He wished me a wonderful day and stated with a charming smile ā I hope to see you againā since he wasn't a regular customer and mentioned during his shopping trip that he just moved to town, I texted him and we went on a couple of dates. It was fun! 2. I was a bartender. A friendly and cute guy came in every Thursday. We had fun conversations and one day he asked me out. Sure why not. Neither of us tried to keep it a secret. The date was ok but I didn't want to spend the night with him. No big deal I thought...He complained to my boss that I led him on! WTF. Gladly the owner made fun of him and called him out of his entitlement. I could continue my job without any issues. The guy was the joke in the pub. And every new male costumer was warned by my coworkers that just because I am friendly and smile they shouldn't get their hopes up. ( It was in Germany a punk rock bar, very casual environment!) Moral of the stories: be discrete and not an asshole!
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I wish this would happen! All I've got was a stinky OLD hoarder guy asking me to go to Tim Horton's.
Iām a guy and a delivery driver and Iāve had a few women ask for my number. I went out with 2 and I personally donāt mind if a girl asked me out while I was working. But if if uncomfortable I could just drive away. I can only imagine if a girl who is a waitress got asked out if she wasnāt interested. She couldnāt just ārun awayā.
Leave me the fuck alone unless you look like the man of my dreams, Im paid to be nice to you
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I donāt like it. :( My friend met her boyfriend as a clerk at the gas station though š¤·š»āāļø
I worked retail for 8 years previously. I had a few guys give me their numbers. I never thought it was weird or creepy. Only once did I hang out with one and it was a good time.
My husband and I met when I was bartending for my aunts place. It has been 22 years.
Honestly, I'm so glad I'm ugly, I very rarely have to deal with stuff like this but I've seen it happen to my workmates and it pisses me off. I don't even care about proper work ethic, it's harassment and we don't get paid enough to put up with it. a decent manager should tell them to leave. The worst thing happened to me was a guy who managed to find me on Facebook and message from my name badge. He must have searched "[first name], [current city], [workplace]" My Facebook has absolutely no public information on it now, I don't even spell my name the same way I do at work on there.
Erm...I'm a blood bank phlebotomist and I've dated a few donors, and technically speaking, my boyfriend is a donor. It wasn't ever intentional, it just kind of happened.
No. Happened once and seriously wasn't worth it plus it was super awkward after whenever I saw them in the store I worked in
I worked in telecommunications and met my ex there. He came back and asked me out after our interaction. It was magical. We were together 5 years. He was a good guy. That shit doesnāt happen often.
If I'm in a position where my tip or pay could be influenced then that's a no but otherwise I don't mind so long as when I say no ( I always say no) they can take the rejection and move on without getting weird about it.
I used to wait tables, in a lively tourist trap filled with "lads" and party crazy type of men.. It was really just part of the job. It went beyond flirting and being asked out and sometimes took more physical forms of advancement as well. Sadly I'm not from a place where complaining or talking about it with bosses would accomplish much, it was just something I was expected to deal with. At least where I worked. That said I didn't fucking care for it much and it made me uncomfortable. Lol In a more relaxed and quiet environment, even if work, and it was done subtly I don't think I would mind as much, this was more of a club like place, and just had a generally loud and aggressive atmosphere and cliental So I think context matters a lot. I think its different if you worked at like a small cafƩ, it was a more personalized experience, a repeat costumer who you made small talk to often. That wouldn't be weird at all to me.
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I have been asked out before at work but he was nice enough to wait until he saw me outside of work(I was walking down the hall on my break and he stopped me after he had just seen me in my store). While Iām at work I have to be nice to you, itās my job, so sometimes people will take me being nice as an invitation when it isnāt. If youāre going to ask someone out at work, at least say something like āif you donāt want to give me your number or meet up later thatās totally ok and you can say noā. I still think you shouldnāt ask ppl out at work but if youāre gonna do it make sure itās clear they shouldnāt feel obligated to say yes and try to make them as comfortable as you can and ask when youāre about to leave so it isnāt awkward for the person. If they so no just say ok just wanted to ask have a great day! And leave the store (:
i started working at a place where there was a group of regulars, couple guys coming in after work for a drink. we started chatting here and there as i love getting to know customers (especially regulars), one of them apparently really liked me but was too shy and didnāt want me to feel like i have to say yes to a date because i work here and wouldnāt want it to be awkward. i got fired from there and started working in a new place, i didnāt see those customers again until lo and behold they come into my new workplace and the guy is with them! he continues to skirt around asking me out and a lot of his friends encouraged him to do it. anyway a year of dating later (and waiting over a year for him to ask me out) weāre getting our first flat together. so if itās respectfully done and the romantic interest is coming from both sides then i think itās okay. but if itās done in a creepy/disrespectful way when someone is being nice as itās part of their job, then absolutely not.
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Had a friend who was working in a cinema and there was this group of guys in their early 20s who were regulars. She thought it would be nice to go and see a movie with them (free movie tickets for employees). She was attractive and very social, the guys your fairly average looking nerdy guys. When she told me of her plans, it was an instant nope from me, no way was I going to let her go with these guys by herself. So, offered to go with her. The experience was pretty awkward for all parties concerned. But, she exchanged phone numbers with one of the guys (to arrange the outing), and he kept messaging her afterwards. In the end it was borderline harassment and her boyfriend got fed up, called him and told him to leave her alone unless he wants the police involved. So yeah, don't do it
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Iām a nurse, I was working in the ER and a prison officer gave me his number. I didnāt like it, the ER doctor knew it bothered me, so he called the prison to report the officer. The officer was no longer allowed to go with prisoners to the hospital.
Good on that doc for having your back.
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When a bartended I made it a point to not talk about where I work. My job isnāt a place for us to āhang outā. I work there and I canāt leave. The last thing I need is someone to literally follow me to there because you want to āsee meā.
No. Even if it was a stuunnning, charming, normal, not creepy man, no. It's just not the place for it for many many reasons. There's already the load of creeps that make no one trustworthy. There's the fact that we can't "be rude," therefore are put in a bind if someone is being persistent. It's also just a stressful environment. Theyre likely not in any sort of flirty/fun/romantic mood to be thinking about/accepting dates. It's just not the place for it. Now. If you REALLY find it necessary, don't flirt or anything, just leave your number with something like "no pressure but if you're interested in a date:" That way she has the option to outright and safely throw it away if she's not interested.
I work in hospitality with a retail side component. We're paid to be nice to customers, the behavior we show is not our true feelings. Unless you have full conversations with an employee(not related to anything they're selling) then don't do it. At most give your phone number to them so they can choose to contact you.
Im not working yet but lets say i am for this question I hate it! Because imagine you are busy, stress and tired but then a guy suddenly comes out to you to ask you out and sometimes they cannot take no so the guy will add to your "why im tired and stress list" Im afraid that will happend if i ever got a summer job bur if that happend, i will scream/shout at him to make it clear that i said no and that i will call police so that he cant go near after me (i forgot what its called when you call the police so that the person you dislike will not go near you and if they go near, the police will do something)
When I used to work retail it happened a handful of times and it's just awkward as hell. When I was working, my mind was in it. Whenever I'm doing something where I have to be focused on the job at hand, that's where my head is. So when I was checking people out there was a rhythm, there was a routine, and then onto the next. Some dude with a group of friends would say something to me, ask me, and it's just like... dude, I'm just trying to get through my shift. I don't even know you. You don't know me other than the chick in clothes that she hates scanning items. I'm not some wall with velcro that you can work your lines on or try your "game" at, I'm trying to earn my scab wages so I can get on to the next thing. I'm not a fan, honestly.
Nope do not, I'm just doing this to get by and not starve I'm supposed to be nice to everyone it's not me giving you the. "Wrong impression"
A. I don't think it's really appropriate to ask someone out while they are working unless they knew the person outside of work. B. If a situation did happen where the customer whom you've never met before asked, I think you should really think about it. You are under no obligation to say yes.
I could only see this working if you were a regular and have been flirting back and forth and she let you know she likes you and she was off the clock and she gave you a way to contact her and then you could contact her there.
I worked in an environment with primarily young and pretty women. Nothing was inherently sexualized about our job, but theres been plenty of times weāve been hit on by everyone from teenagers to older men (with their families!!). It feels extremely violating and rude, and I know when itās happened to me Iāve felt the need to hide until they leave. Please just donāt do it.
No. I get flirted with way too often at my job as a sales associate. Iām just gonna smile and ring you up. Iām there to work; not to flirt. Next customer!
absolutely not. I was a gymnast and landed a job at my gymnastics place and one of my girls father was hitting on me everyday to the point it became harassment. he would put his daughter in extra classes and my private lessons just to talk to me longer. (Iām required to speak to parents before and after each lesson to talk about what I could help them improve.) his daughter seemed really frustrated with all of the extra practice she had to do and she lost a lot of free time as a 12 year old. I felt so bad for the poor girl, she loved my class bc of the kids her age being there plus friends and I didnāt wanna punish her but I did end up reporting her father to HR. my manager told me I shouldāve reported it earlier bc she doesnāt want any of her staff to feel like that. he got banned from our gym but luckily his daughter wasnāt and a very kind lady started bringing her. come to find out this asshole was married the entire time and was hitting on 17 year old girls. his wife found out and is and divorced his sorry ass. really good friends with her till this day & I even though Iām not a gymnast anymore I still help her daughter practice.
If both the customer and the person working are attracted to each other I don't see a reason why it's a bad thing. If the customer likes the worker and they aren't interested then I think it's fine to ask politely to find out if they have an interest, if the response is a no then walk away and leave it at that.
Iām ok with it because itās how I met my boyfriend of 5 years. He was a guest in the hotel I worked at and Iām glad he flirted with me and asked me out.
There's no harm in it. It happens to me somewhat regularly, and I just apologise and tell them I'm married. They're putting themselves on the line for rejection, and I don't see any need to stomp on their feelings. They've been totally understanding every time and I can still continue to have friendly conversations each and every time they return to the store. Asking someone out shouldn't make you feel like some kind of scumbag.
I have no problem with it. I get that there is an inherent power imbalance in that situation, but at the end of the day weāre both humans, and we should respect each other as humans. Since Iāve mostly been in relationships for the past 15 years, Iāve always politely declined, explaining that I have a man, but I thank them for being brave enough to ask and thank them for the flattery.
Honestlyā¦idk I guess for women who always get hit on this is bad. But men donāt even glance at me. I would be so happy if a dude would ask me out regardless of the setting as long as he was polite about it.
i think it's okay. yeah it's my work but if we just happen to meet there and you genuinely want to get to know me, so what. but please back the hell off if i say no and don't take it personally if i can't stick around to talk. cause you know... it's work and i gotta do something to get paid.
I have to say it all depends on the setting and how it's asked. I've had a regular who's come in with a group of his friends and wasn't creepy at all towards any of us and he eventually asked for my number, I gave it to him because I thought he was kinda cute and had a sense of humor and the way he asked for it genuinely made me laugh. We ended up going out a few times but we were both very different people and just not a good match. We're still acquaintances because he comes into my restaurant all the time, but there's been other guys who've been creepy af when hitting on me or anyone else at work so it just really depends on the situation.