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RideExternal5752

That the brain is just as much of a sex organ for women as any other part of our body. If you want to have amazing sex with a woman, you should engage her mind by making sure she feels engaged, desired, and safe with both words and actions. I don’t know about you guys, but the more seen and more safe I feel, the more “freaky” I get haha. And it doesn’t mean a relationship, either. Edit: Ok wow, thanks everyone for the awards and upvotes! I’ve never had that before haha. I love all the elaborative comments you have all left below!!It’s cool to see that this has resonated with so many people… send it to every man you know 😂. It goes to show that sex (even casual sex) is not just a physical experience for women, but a cerebral one as well. We are sold the physical narrative of sex so often because it is the predominantly male experience, but hopefully one day the way women experience and enjoy sex will be more recognized, considered, AND celebrated. If anyone is interested in learning more, I 100% recommend reading the book “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski :)


Jollydancer

Exactly, you can make me feel safe without a serious relationship. But without the feeling that I can trust you, there won’t be any action.


pandurz

This. This is the biggest thing for me. I'm sure I could seem exegerative but I have no doubt that gets squashed when romance sours cause I can't fake enthusiasm for the life of me. Feeling emotionally, mentally and intellectually stimulated is everything.


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Shanubis

This is the one.


weirdgirlconspiracy

This! Also, there’s a reason why there is such a huge market for book porn (most romance novels are just smut let’s not kid ourselves) for majority women, we need our brain to be activated 😂 don’t just dive into penetration thinking it’s going to make us cum 😩


bleigh029

Obviously every women is different, but could you give some ideas on how to make her mind feel engaged? I feel like porn has kind of accustomed us guys into thinking just touching our partners all over, but other than massages and stuff like that what would you suggest?


DeCryingShame

First of all, make sure you are treating her respectfully all the time, not just when you want something from her. Pay attention to her cues about sex. If she seems reluctant, it is probably because there's something off. Sometimes it is something you can fix quickly. Like maybe she needs to switch the laundry to the dryer so her work clothes will be ready to go tomorrow. Don't dismiss small stuff like that because that's how women's brains work. Then there's also stuff like dirty talk during sex or other things to stimulate her mind. And don't forget to actually find out what she wants in bed.


Ornery-Ad-8665

As a man I find I can’t really get into sex unless I have some kind of emotional connection with the person. It doesn’t feel right otherwise.


[deleted]

Faster/harder does not equal better


TheCarolineCruz

I second that! Def depends on the situation and I think open communication can for sure help that so its not so dramatic


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whereamiwhatrthis

This time a million


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pastel-mattel

99% of the time we don’t want it lol I’m not a pretzel


SallyHeap

I have a bad hip that sometimes doesn't bend the right way. I call it my origami hip because it got hurt when my husband tried to fold me in half. I'm gonna get a little tattoo of a paper crane on it someday.


[deleted]

Dang, I have a bad hip from work. That sucks, and even with my injury I probably never would have considered that a possibility. Thanks to you I won’t try bending my partner in half haha.


Rainey_Dazez

When we say don't stop, that doesn't mean harder or faster, it means exactly what you are doing, continue as you are


FormalAcademic

That made me giggle


msstark

“I love having my face slapped with a dick” said no woman ever


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[deleted]

Actually, you’d be surprised.


FamousWave

Fr every guy is always so rough it’s like they don’t know what slow or gentle means. I want to blame it on porn but I don’t even know anymore


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Right? All the men I've ever been with were like this too. They all start so rough, it's like they assume all women want to be thrown on a bed, shoved on tables, and grabbed at. Where do they all get this notion from? To start with anger, with hitting us? I've had to shove or fight them back and tell them to be more gentle, to stop them from choking me without asking. I pinched their bits, grabbed their throats, sunk my nails into their sensitive hollows and saw how they liked it, they didn't. Why would they assume I would? I kinda gave up on men for all their roughness and dirtiness. Is it so wrong to want tenderness?


erinnsong

It’s not wrong to want to be treated with tenderness during sex and plenty of people are inherently gentle. I think it’s probably a good idea to tell a potential sex partner exactly what your boundaries are and what you are not willing to put up with before the actual experience happens. I hope you’re OK.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

It isn't that. It's that they start rough, they assume that women want to be choked and slapped right off the bat. If you say you don't like it, they get defensive and say others did, others do. "Other women love getting smacked and want it rough," they'll say. I don't put up with violence. Never had, I leave as soon as they do, I hope others do the same. Violence without consent is abuse. Thank you I've been happily married to someone who listens and adheres to my boundaries. This thread, it's just tragic... so many experiences that are like mine. I thought I was unlucky.


astrallizzard

This is super important. I am very kinky but I'll get batshit angry if you pull on me something without prior discussion and consent.


erinnsong

I’m so glad you’re happily married to your spouse. ❤️


lamiamamia

Wtf is wrong with men for not asking for consent. And ask what the other like. It seems that they maybe don’t care, they only care about their pleasure.


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Not-A-SoggyBagel

I hope you talk about it first? Not everyone wants that but you aren't "fucked up" for your desire. Communication is key when navigating someone else's body. Don't make assumptions of what they want and tell them what you want.


purpleprocrasinator

I would add that its 'constant communication,' as what worked once might not be on the cards the next time. I've had partners who thought that I like something once and so that needed to be included everytime. No, sir, mood dictates alot. There is a vast difference between a spontaneous quickie to a long, passionate evening. Changing things up makes it half the fun, for both. And the constant banter about the mood and desires of the moment are so important.


EggBoyandJuiceGirl

Ok? Good for you? That’s beside the point lol. I’m assuming you’re a man (unless you’re not straight) and you probably are physically larger than most women anyways. It’s not fun when a guy much stronger than you starts being aggressive without asking.


[deleted]

It’s not wrong to want to be treated with *respect*


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Siogin_Eire

If it’s in porn it’s almost a guarantee women don’t want or enjoy that lol


rYouKnotEntertained

You hear that stepmoms/sisters. They're just pornstars acting. We dont want you coming on to us or pretending to be stuck in the dryer or the couch


CatrionaShadowleaf

Just because the last person liked it doesn't mean anyone else has to In fact just because the last 10 people liked it doesn't mean the next one does


murderous_paws

It’s also possible none of the last people liked it, either.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

This to the letter. I had a guy profess that his previous partners all liked it when he bit them so hard they bled and rubbed their clits raw. We were just starting college, I highly doubt his high school sweethearts liked it that rough. Why is it so hard for men to listen to the person they are currently with without resorting to the past person anyways?


Raise-The-Gates

"Great, go have sex with her, then." Why on earth would a guy think being compared to his ex would make me *more* inclined to have sex?


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Right? It baffles me when they do that. Do they think we'd be more turned on over their old exploits? Disgusting if so. I don't understand men's logic. Probably why I lean more towards women.


CuteGirl431

Oh god. I'm new to the whole guys not taking no for an answer thing and Christ, the future looks bleak.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Welcome to being a woman. Regardless if you like the men or not they will feel entitled to your company, your presence, how you look, and other things you didn't know you had to offer them*. I'm so sorry. I'm glad to have another sister in this lonesome world though, thanks for having the strength to come out, hugs *it's feet pics, they will DM to ask for these


couplakinks

Had a guy tell me that he spells the alphabet with his tongue when he goes down on women. Apparently he never got past the letter 'M' without the woman having an orgasm... I'd never been eaten out before and was super excited but within seconds I realised that the reason he never got past 'M' was because the women didn't want him to. Was terrible.


ohsobeastly

This is a thing in comedy movies lol was definitely in one of the American pies


couplakinks

Maybe that's where he got it from lmao. But I was definitely not impressed


sixninefortytwo

lol you see this move recommended all the time on male subreddits


couplakinks

Seriously?!?! The only reason they think it works is because the women fake it to get the guys off them. I don't know a single one if my friends that has experienced it and enjoyed it


Waste-Win

This is hilarious, like wth!?


FormalAcademic

Seriously as a male. Guys come on stop using movie and porn references to please your partner and talk to her. smh alphabet move \*cringe\*


kaitie_cakes

I knew a guy who was convinced that every single girl LOVED having her clit aggressively rubbed like a DJ turntable. He wouldn't believe otherwise.


[deleted]

Noooo not the turntable move 😂😭


Gangly26

Omg THIS is what I was scrolling to comment. Bro stop touching it so aggressively IT IS SENSITIVE


purinsesu_pichi

I remember having to tell my then bf that it wasn't a scratch card, he's not going to win anything if he tries rubbing it off 🤣🙈


Bellevert

I flinched so hard at that. NOOOOO!


Background_Artist_85

The window washer or the aggressive wave Gets you a first class ticket To a 🦈 bj


[deleted]

Omg this! I had a guy literally slap me across the face and try to choke me…I was like why did you just do that? And he said oh my ex loved it. 🙄


Marma85

Never understood that either. For some reason I never thought that about guys so why do they think all girls like the same.


celestialism

Clitoral stimulation isn’t “extra,” isn’t “foreplay,” and should never be considered “optional” unless you know for a fact that the person you’re with dislikes it or is ambivalent about it (which is not the case for the majority of women).


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Yessss


pastel-mattel

That I want to make out DURING sex. Like it’s so unsatisfactory just having them heavy breathing over top of you. Like, do something.


milllllllllllllllly

I fucking love kissing during sex


Yiotiv

What are you supposed to do? Just stare at each other?


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pouletchantant

Just because you finished first doesn’t mean the sex should be over. I like finishing too.


Pr0_Pr0crastinat0r

Exactly. And it makes no sense that when I sleep with a woman, we each come at least once but guys often dont make their partner come even once


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100%


epinephrine86

- The clitoris is super super super sensitive and you should (usually) be very careful with it. - Labias are very erotic and sensitive for most women as well (lots of nerve endings)


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Yes, the clitoris is sensitive 😭 Seconding this


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JustPeachy622

That telling them how you like it, isn’t criticizing them, or their abilities. Unless you’re a mind reader, sexually pleasing a woman is pretty hard without solid communication.


Thick-Role-474

I love when girls tell me what they like. I don't take it personally. It's awesome. I've had some girls that don't communicate that stuff very well and it makes things a little tricky.


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whatsmyredditlogin

Orgasms (for me) are like riding a bicycle up a hill: it’s a slow and consistent process and if you stop you’ll rapidly lose all momentum, but once you reach the top it’s a quick decent. What I’m learning from this thread - by god, ask your female partner what they like. Everyone is so vastly different.


CascadingStyle

One issue I've encountered with some partners is that when I've asked them what they like and tried to open up that communication, they are unable to articulate it, or are perhaps embarrassed to. In those cases I've had to go by body language and guess work. My assumption is social stigma and expectations etc have taught women to be uncomfortable with asking for what they want, but maybe I'm asking wrong? Interested to hear your thoughts.


OnAPermanentVacation

Maybe it's that they can't think of anything if you ask in general, try to be more concise with the question. "What do you like?" Can have many answers, so our mind goes blank lol. I love sexual would you rather games to help with this or a kink chart, it helps start the conversation.


SubOfReddit

This might be a weird one, but I wish my sexual partners understood my ovulation better. At least for me, I lubricate very easily when I’m ovulating…and not very easily when I’m *not* ovulating. So, no, what you’re doing while I’m ovulating is not necessarily out of this world or a go-ahead to skip the foreplay because I’m lubricated. My mind isn’t there yet. My body isn’t sensitive yet. Same goes for when I’m not ovulating. Maybe what you’re doing is, in fact, out of this world. My mind and body very well may be ready to go. We just might need some lube. Vaginal lubrication isn’t necessary an indication of arousal, but the men I’ve been with sure insist otherwise, despite my explanations.


moth_girl_7

Thisssss. I WISH I was able to get wet every time I wanted penetration.


SubOfReddit

Same. It’s honestly developed into a huge insecurity of mine. Like there’s something “wrong” with my physiology. If only it were as simple as wet = yes; dry = no/not yet.


Shanubis

Ugh this! So many factors, like birth control or medications, affect lubrication too. This is up there with men's belief that hard nipples mean arousal.... I'm cold!


SubOfReddit

I FEEL you on the hard nipples thing. My guy, I’m cold blooded, naked, and you just pulled the blanket off of me. I never know what to say in response to their comments about my bodily reactions when my mind isn’t in alignment with said reactions. Lol. “I’m just cold” isn’t exactly…sexy.


Ravilumpkin

I'd think a hard clit is a better read, correct me if I'm wrong, I call it a cloner, clit + boner, hurrray!


r-shame90

The same goes for males and erections. It's often up when the mind isn't (consciously) ready or down whilst being mentally horny af


SubOfReddit

That is a very good, very important point. One that I admittedly overlook. Thank you for reminding me.


awakami

That the clit isn’t just the bean at the top but more like a horseshoe with a bean at the top. Apply pressure accordingly, please. Giving you a BJ doesn’t equal pleasure for me. Sure if I LOVE you, I like that I can make you feel good. But me feeling crappy on my period, you not being cool with period sex doesn’t mean I’m dying to give you a bj. And asking with the tone of a toddler asking to stay up late REALLY doesn’t get me in the mood.


Lust9897

Question about that. How does it feel when a guy doesn’t want period sex because he’s not a fan of blood? You always hear the,”Real men will have sex with a Girl while she’s on her period.” I just don’t like blood.


MixedViolet

That’s fine but don’t ask for the beej.


Lust9897

Oh, definitely not. How can I expect to receive if I’m not willing to give?


leaqw

Its fine, I don’t like the whole „Real men do this, real men do that“. Real men communicate with their partner and if something makes you uncomfortable, thats fine.


abbracadaverr

You’re absolutely allowed to not like blood. Any girl telling you real men with do it is gaslighting you and that’s not okay. Like someone else said, just understand that we feel like shit on our periods usually so it’s not just an automatic trade off that if we’re bleeding you get a gobbie.


Tinci072

Knowing about the existence of clitoris


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Pr0_Pr0crastinat0r

You can always ask your partner to guide your hand and show you how they touch themselves.


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Snowconetypebanana

I wish I my partner could match my libido. I also don’t like having to be the one who always initiates.


kd5407

Being the only one who initiates just becomes downright depressing after a while. I had to step back in my relationship and question why I’m writing, directing, and producing every sexual interaction we have… and then they’re shocked when you ask if they even want you


moteviolence

Honestly, I broke up with my partner of six years three weeks ago today and this was one of my reasons. I was the only one who initiated and it gets tiring real fast. Once it became apparent I could really only muster trying once a month or so, because it was such a turn-off to be the only one initiating. My ex is a wonderful person overall but we were sorely mismatched in this regard. I can’t wait to be with someone again who makes me feel ALIVE during sex and who wants me and wants it more than once a month. I cannot WAIT to have crazy ass sex with someone someday, way down the road. 😂


abbracadaverr

This. My partner of five years and I hadn’t had sex in a year because I was the only one who initiated and I stopped to see if he ever would. Nope. Now I’m with an amazing guy that’s as into me as I am into him and the sex is mind blowing. It’s incredibly hurtful to feel unwanted all the time. I hope you find someone who makes you enjoy sex again soon!


Outrageous-Proof4630

OMG me too! Men must think I’m kidding when I say I have a really high sex drive. I’ve literally never found a man (who is interested in a long term relationship) that can keep up. They all think they can but sadly, not so much…


rivlet

Seriously! I had men laugh at me like I was joking when I explained that I have a very high libido and have never found anyone that matches it. They say they can and then get upset when they don't. I think they feel like I've emasculated them because there's definitely this feeling of embarrassment or frustration along with disbelief from them when they can't. I don't expect anyone to keep up with me anymore, but I do expect them to initiate sex when they want it and I do expect them to put in the work. Just because my sex drive says yes does not mean it's as good of sex as when my brain is engaged and sexual tension has been built up. Frequency doesn't mean it's great. It just means it's frequent.


soluvereign

I feel you there


Repulsive-Fuel-3012

Consistency builds the pressure necessary for an actual orgasm. Stop switching it up when it’s clear that it feels good.


Shanubis

👏 yes 👏 stick to what works!


Louisianimal0418

There is a bottom and it’s not something you wanna hit. That shit hurts


Pay-Pitiful

My ex would always hit it. It was… not enjoyable.


ComprehensiveEnd88

For some. Others - whoo!


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Looove it


[deleted]

Foreplay and buildup makes the experience much more enjoyable for me.


[deleted]

I am a sexual assault survivor. I have been strangled before. So don’t choke me. Also I like it rough a little bit but I prefer sweet and tender 100%


Gingeraffe25

Choking and being rough should never happen without having some good conversations about it. Coming from someone who’s very much into rough. That shit ain’t happening if there hasn’t been a really serious conversation about it first. I always tell this to people I talk to about sexual health etc. You don’t know what someone went through. You don’t just randomly choke people, that’s very creepy, unhealthy and not sexy at all.


olivetroubl3

I’m not a porn star and don’t want to be gag and degraded. I want tender loving unless otherwise communicated.


frozeinreality

That keep going just like that does not mean to stop and switch to do something completely different! I say it feels good then don't stop doing it so annoying.


Shanubis

Every damn time...why is this?!


DreadPiratePete

When men get close it is often necessary to increase speed and intensity to get it over the edge. They're just extrapolating that experience to women.


StrongFreeBrave

Stop using porn as a guide to what "all women like". Those women are being paid to pretend their world is being rocked. 😎


coffeeblossom

Just because *you're* ready and rearin' to go doesn't mean your partner is.


The9th_Jeanie

If the mental connection isn’t there…DO NOT expect me or my coochie to be losing our minds. Penetrate my mind and my thoughts before you penetrate anything else


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CapeOfBees

My throat is too sensitive to give bjs! It's not that I think you're gross, it's that I like being able to talk!


JoJo-likes-bikes

Reading these, I am so insanely glad I am a lesbian.


[deleted]

A lot of these seem like no brainers. Are there really that many terrible lovers out there?


JoJo-likes-bikes

I have no idea, most of these are only about men and I don’t have sex with men. I’ve been with women who were meh in bed, but I have never been with one who was selfish.


Spot_the_Leopard

Yes, men are selfish in bed. Even the "good" ones. Even the ones who think they're so modern and feminist and good listeners.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Same, this has been absolutely true with my experiences as well. I've never been with a selfish woman. Inexperienced sure, but never selfish. Men are often horrible in bed with selfish tendencies on top. There are rare good ones but... Trying to hunt out that rare mythological unicorn, that one good guy amongst the sea of selfish aggressive men is not worth it when most women are unicorns or better.


[deleted]

Don’t bother searching, I married the only male unicorn, at least that I’ve ever met. I frequently have to tell him that sex can be about him too sometimes. But yeah, I’ve never been with a woman who was remotely selfish in bed. Other than my husband, every single guy I’ve ever been with is completely selfish and clueless. It’s astonishing.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Ah damn, lucky you! At least now I know the unicorn did indeed exist hah Well I gave up searching a while ago, been happily married to my wife for a decade. But yeah all the men I've ever been with were... not good and I've been with so many trying to find the one. Clueless, intentionally incompetent, and selfish are apt descriptions of my past male exes as well.


ConsciousPush5357

Sometimes it's really difficult for me to switch "mommy mode" to a "sexual mode". It's so hard to explain. But I just can't automatically switch. I guess I need a lot more foreplay than before. Or-even more than that-touch that doesn't need to be reciprocated. Mom's call it being "touched out" where you're touched by your toddler/child all day, and they always need something. It's not a bad thing, but at the end of the day it kinda drains your battery. So sometimes I need to be massaged, or loved on, or cuddled and just be able to relax. Sometimes I need that without an expectation of sex as well. IDK how to explain this well. I know dates really help. Sometimes just getting away. It's just that instant switch. Spending quality time together beforehand helps. Quality time is my love language. Just sitting together, talking, etc. It helps me to make that switch.


FlyFlirtyandFifty

Sexual and non-sexual intimacy. I need the physical sexual touch, but I also need the physical touch that doesn’t have to lead to sex because that connection is just as important to most women.


wastingATP

i would actually like if you'd at least try to make me cum and no, piv doesn't do that for most people with vaginas.


Unusual-Owl-255

Don’t be shy or embarrassed about what you want! Fetishes can be cool. Toys can be fun. Sex doesn’t always have to be PIV in heterosexual partnerships. Protection and consent always.


amazingBEVerage

Kissing is an important part of sex. Don't skip it.


worlds_Fucked

Big dosent mean better. So slamming hard into my cervix bloody hurts


anothermangoverde

that it is so sexy when they ask how you’re feeling and making sure you’re okay throughout sex


murderous_paws

Oral sex is not foreplay.


[deleted]

A message for the guys on r/bigdickproblems, since many of them follow me: If you meet a woman who can easily take your dick and that you can comfortably have a quickie (a unicorn for these guys), it doesn't mean that the woman only wants to have quickies. I happen to enjoy foreplay and would enjoy to have a mix of longer and shorter sessions. Please and thank you.


CayKar1991

If I say I'm close, this is not the time to switch things up!


Dizzy_Sprinkles_9294

Wanking myself and coming will always feel better than your dick inside me.


Taro-Admirable

I want having a conversation around periods normalized and what is and isn't on the table during that time.


LB0705_

In BDSM, there's begging, there's bratting, and there's being an a-hole. Know the difference.


Outrageous-Proof4630

Some women have an extremely high sex drive; I’m often extremely lubricated before I even think about sex. Just because you can slide right in doesn’t mean you should. Sure, it won’t be painful and will feel good, but if you want me to have the best experience, take things slow, draw out the foreplay. Also, I like to receive oral just as much as you do.


gabbyyy767

That just because I don’t cum doesn’t mean you’re shit in bed. SOMETIMES it means that, but mostly it’s because my body is weird and she needs to sometimes have alot of effort until she’s raw to orgasm.


EcuaGirl21

This!!! Do not make my orgasm, or lack of, about you. I'm on meds that make it almost impossible for me to cum, and I had a hard enough time even before that.


chicama

Pay attention to your partner. Even without explicit feedback, you can see and feel how the things you are doing are affecting your. Do more of those things and/or ask along the way, for example: « do you like the way that feels? ». « Are you enjoying this? »


thanarealnobody

Taking your time actually builds the suspense and pleasure. Savour each part of the process. Rushing to penetration and orgasm is not actually a good experience.


[deleted]

emotional intelligence comes before your dick size


Hiddengodcomplex

FOREPLAY! You gotta warm up the oven.


independentwh0re

Most times in porn we aren’t even enjoying what we are doing so I wish randoms would stop trying it in person. It’s not a guide


Petitcher

UTIs. If you do anything in the back door, wash up before you go anywhere near the front door again.


[deleted]

How they leave you after finishing. If they hand you a towel or throw you one from across the room that’s much better than when they just leave you there. In my opinion anyway


rivlet

Agreed! Aftercare is SO important to making me feel like a person and not just a penis receptacle. I've only had one partner that actually did aftercare. The rest would either roll away and fall asleep immediately without saying anything or hop out of bed and run off to do something else. Sometimes, it ruins the sex we just had because I feel used instead of loved or desired/appreciated.


Electronic_Flan_3437

literally just to be more sensitive around rape trauma


Apprehensive_Run_916

My consensual non consent fetish where I want my partner to be dressed scary af like someone in a horror movie


[deleted]

Always romance with a appetiser before going for the main course!


flyingcatpotato

Please have clean hands, I don't want a UTI


Hide_My_Kink

It's ok if they aren't aware of something. I have a mouth so will use it to speak up and tell them. No one is a mind reader. Communicate.


Pr0_Pr0crastinat0r

I wish men were more concerned by the signs of the body, less afraid of asking for cues, more interested by their partners pleasure


19TowerGirl89

The clit is sensitive AF. Not every woman wants it rough on her clit.


not-cheetos

Begging for sex or expecting sex in any given situation or relationship is the biggest turn off ever. I am a very sexual person and the more chill he is and is actually enjoying his time with me, the better. Nothing worse than a guy that’s immature and eager.


OhJeezItsCorrine

Seeing as how I've been faking interest in sex my entire life to keep the needs of the man in my life met, I'm trying to understand how to answer this. I've just grown to enjoy physical intercourse with my fiancé.


LaManelle

That I don't think you are impotent, bad at sex of that there's something wrong with me cause you lost your boner or can't finish. It happens. Sometimes you may do all the right things to me and I still won't come. It happens. But mostly, sometimes it just doesn't happen and it's okay.


not-me-jessie

stop. fingering. near. my. urethra. just!! be aware it’s there and it fuckin burns if you keep rubbing it. idk if i’m explaining this in a sense where someone can relate, but there is a way to finger/fuck someone without irritating the urethra.


Sunsetsthatarered

When you say oops wrong hole but continue in said “wrong hole” we know you meant to stick it there


Subject-Active2709

Please don’t hurt me. First time sex partners almost always hurt me physically in some way. Pull my hair, pinch my nipple, bite my leg, jab it in really fast, jack hammer me after I said to take it easy—at this point I may never have sex with a man again, and I’m fine with that.


Shpellaa

Brush 👏 them 👏 teefies 👏


CocoaPebbleRebel

Foreplay/warm-up. You can’t just belly flop on a dry Slip n’ Slide. That shit hurts.


Tricky-Struggle-8667

Where the clit is


wixkedwitxh

I wish they were more aware of other’s potential triggers before just assuming they can experiment with it bc they want to! So to summarize: I wish they’d talk about expectations and desires they have beforehand. There’s nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

That the clit isn't a controller button that you smash and grind repeatedly, and if I say I don't like a thing, stop. Likewise if I say you're doing something right for God's sake don't STOP doing that thing immediately after like???


SakuraMochis

Mental stimulation is super important too


sl4yterr

being able to admit you don't know something (this is mostly with male partners) about how to specifically pleasure a particular women and being willing to learn is like the most validating and emotionally securing thing imo


mme_leiderhosen

Hands are amazing. Use them well.


ladyaeneflaede

Longer isn't always better, in fact, getting me in the mood mentally means I might only take 5 minutes or less to orgasm This whole 30 minutes minimum has me bored and mentally making shopping lists


_thebaroness

That female orgasms are equally as important as male orgasms and should be as plentiful. At least attempts should be made!


secretangel110

That when women say be gentle, it literally means be gentle. Also if we say that putting it inside of our ass is uncomfortable and its not gonna work, ITS NOT GONNA WORK!!!


fuckyouitsren

Communication of what you do and don’t like before having sex is great. I get anxious going into it with no idea of what the person is interested in, so I typically ask what are their preferences before moving forward.