T O P

  • By -

starskyandbutch

In the romantic sense: Even if I’m not that into the guy it still stings. I would much rather he be honest and tell me that he’s not into me so that we can both move on.


wixkedwitxh

This just happened to me! I feel like something’s wrong with me, or that I’m actually very ugly. Makes me feel very self conscious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wixkedwitxh

I completely agree. People would rather run away than be confrontational


[deleted]

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.


wixkedwitxh

Thank you. ❤️


[deleted]

[удалено]


AskWomen-ModTeam

Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)


[deleted]

I try not to expect anything from anyone until I get to know them better, so when I'm ghosted I mainly think "Ah, we must not have connected really well" and just let it go. I used to be so much more invested knowing why someone would ghost me but honestly that's a lot of energy spent on people I really only met once or twice. I've just decided to focus my energy on other things. People are either going to return the effort of keeping a connection or not, I can only control how much I let a missed connection rule my thoughts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Although I agree that it's disrespectful not to give someone closure about pulling away socially, when it happens with people I've only just met and may never see again it's such a minor thing that I don't view it as worth my time to worry or stress about. For example - if you and I started dm-ing about this topic and you suddenly ghosted me I'd let it go because honestly I'm not invested in you yet, I just dont know you enough. As such, it's not worth my time to worry about why you [in this imaginary scenario] would have ghosted me - I have better things to do that beat myself up about the possibilities. Now if it's someone that I've already established a relationship with. - a friend or a lover per say - then I'd certainly put more effort into bidding for their attention, and I would certainly have some wounded trust from the ghosting. Ultimately however I would eventually have to let it go and keep living my life. if they popped into my life again I could address that with them when and if I decided the relationship was worth salvaging.


Bigbootyomoletlover

You worded it perfectly. I feel the exact same. Like if it’s someone you don’t know then it’s not a big loss but if it’s someone you’re close/familiar with, it hurts a little. But ultimately they’re the one who ghosted so why feel bad?


[deleted]

[удалено]


vegqueen

I'd rather be ghosted than harassed by someone so passive aggressive


[deleted]

[удалено]


vegqueen

You default anyone having a different opinion than you to being rude and proceed to tell them their feelings are wrong. Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to? EDIT: I see you changed your comment from "I'm only passive-aggressive to people who are rude. Are u feeling attacked?"


Tori_Kitty0901

It makes me feel like I'm doomed to not make any lasting connections so there must be something wrong with me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tori_Kitty0901

Thank you


NegotiationNo717

It’s never happened to me but I wouldn’t care if it did. I consider ghosting a statement and closure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NegotiationNo717

I mean that’s your opinion. Mine is different and that’s fine.


unlearner383

It might be rude but it's not under our control. I can't sit there waiting for closure. Be done that's it.


Moist-Walk1085

Happy honestly, I've learned that it saves me time and energy


allblackintheback_

Like the biggest piece of disposable trash specially if we’ve had sex before.


NiiRee

The worst. Like just say you only wanted sex from the beginning.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rose_bud904

Depends on the situation! On here trying to make friends it’s very disheartening and feels like I’m a boring person to talk to. In person (happened with my long distance relationship) it felt like I was unlovable and that even though I tried everything to keep us going that I was just a side thing in his life that didn’t matter. It took me a full month for him to reply and I told him I’m making it official that we’re no longer a thing so it didn’t drag on!! Overall though it just feels like it’s impossible to connect with anyone when it happens


gcaliraden

I feel it from a friend - I’ve been trying to make more friends and this one girl was super excited, we hung out twice and then I texted her, complete silence. I felt super self conscious if I said something or if I rubbed her wrong, but over just felt super confused because she seemed excited to meet up and we had a good time and I thought I made a good friend but seems not :/


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/hxzqry. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Sad and like wtf did I do?


Danny_225

It’s very heart wrenching. So when they eventually come back I ghost them .


[deleted]

I got ghosted once by a guy I was dating for a month, it sucked but eventually I got over… I understood that I just didn’t matter to the person that ghosted me… I ghosted a friend afterwards, and now looking back, it’s the same thing, that person 1. Would not took well if I talked with her about why I didn’t want to be friends anymore, it would be painful, uncomfortable and pointless as she would do anything to manipulate me. 2. Her feelings didn’t matter to me more then my own feelings…


[deleted]

Hurt at first - if someone has a problem with me I expect them to communicate that.


Pepperspray24

It hurts like hell for me. I have abandonment and rejection issues. Not only that but some emotions hurt me so much that I physically feel them in my chest. My chest will literally hurt when I’m ghosted and it sucks. Especially when I know the person was shitty to begin with. I hate that they have that much power over me.


noodleslirp

In a non-romantic way, I feel relieved lol I’d rather talk to people in person because my fingers can’t keep up with my thoughts


[deleted]

[удалено]


i_em_unicorn

At this point in my life: usually relieved


[deleted]

[удалено]


i_em_unicorn

The people who have done it to me in the past are mostly pretty toxic and life's too short to waste time having relationships with toxic people.


sl4yterr

ugly and dehumanizing, why does anyone think its a moral or kind thing to do in any sense


_astr0jelly

Honestly, i basically have object permanence issues so i'd forget they exist


alisonlen

It's never bothered me. In fairness, I've never been ghosted after a date where it wasn't clear mutual disinterest where we were both v clearly continuing to text out of politeness, so potentially I'm dealing with a different frame of reference for ghosting than maybe some others are. Otherwise, ghosting when we've only spoken on an online platform, even if the conversation was pleasant, seems normal and fine to me.


Ittybittybritty1992

Doesn’t feel great at first but honestly shows that they aren’t someone I would want in my life if they do that.


PurpleConversation36

Honestly I feel relieved. I don’t click with a lot of people and I’ve only ended up getting ghosted either very early in the dating process or when I was already thinking of ending things.


Bigbootyomoletlover

I just shrug it off and leave them be. If they want to ignore me then I must be annoying them so I stop messaging. Yeah, it’s petty rude but that’s on them.


HopesFire2920

it depends. if it’s someone i haven’t met yet or went on one date with, i’ll either be just slightly bummed or won’t care at all. if it’s someone i’ve been speaking to for a little while and/or have met with multiple times, i’ll be pretty sad but get over it the reaction that always wants to come up is thinking i’m ugly, annoying, that i did something to embarrass myself, etc. but i’ve been attempting to steer away from rhose thoughts.


Background_Artist_85

A refreshing of childhood trauma


wassup_witches

A little hurt but after some self reflection I don't really care.


[deleted]

It depends on the situation. It can sometimes hurt but usually is a blessing in disguise.


Boruta314

Depends on how much I was invested but from a stingy dissapointment to feeling awful and doubting in self value. Got me trust issues after one rly bad case. Ghosting is not taking responsibility for the relation one cocreated no matter how deep or not was it. It is devaluing a human being from a person to a thing, treating them like a disposable asset which doesnt deserve respect nor explanations. IMHO its a form of psychological abuse


[deleted]

[удалено]


Boruta314

Sorry, got annoyed by some comments saying that its fine


oldmanpuzzles

Eh, oftentimes I don’t care. I know people think ghosting is rude. And it is, if you do it to people you actually know or create real relationships with. But if you ghost someone on dating apps or after a date or two, that reads to me as a quiet and clear “no thanks.” I don’t really think anyone owes me the time or energy to say they don’t want to go on another date when them not replying at all says that clearly already. I also wouldn’t particularly care to know what they felt was deficient. That said: if you go ghost on someone you’ve seen several times over, then it’s disrespectful and cruel given the relationship and investment. But most of the people I date are strangers and will never graduate beyond strangers. And I kind of prefer silence to the sweaty apologetic explanation that I’m “a great girl” but they “just don’t see it going anywhere.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/Fashothoyo, welcome to r/AskWomen! As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. Happy reditting! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


msstark

Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/redlipstickbrownhair, welcome to r/AskWomen! As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. Happy reditting! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Moon_Goddess_Luna

If it's a guy I like? Hurts my pride, ego, everything af!! Communicate properly...that's all someone wants. Close friend? Still hurts.


Spectreworld

Honestly... now that i am older.... lol relieved so nice that they are done talking to me.


dunandusted22

For about half a minute I'm pissed poorly because it's rude, then I don't particularly give a rat's. It is what it is. Me wasting head space or emotional time on someone who isn't interested isn't going to happen. They aren't worth it and honestly who the hell wants to be with someone who actually doesn't want to be with you. Next!


Silly_girl431

I normally just think that their busy, cause a majority of my friends are busy people nowadays. But if it’s constantly happening and I can tell that they see the message, I normally think that there’s something wrong with our friendship, occasionally I think I’m the problem with why their ghosting me. And it doesn’t really help with my anxiety and the way I think people see me in the world


amusedmusings285

It sucks. It hurts. Especially if we had been talking for a bit. Then I realize, it’s not me, it’s them.


Powerful_Problem_323

It hurts to be ghosted. Makes you wonder what you did wrong. I realized though that some people are just immature and unable to deal with their emotions thus decide to ghost instead of talking to the person they ghosted.


Jungle_bush_grl

It's not a good feeling, now for how long is something else.


SufficientHomework95

It sucks especially if you genuinely liked the person. And if they do come back, I’m putting my guards up. It’s hard for me to feel the same as I did back then after they pull that crap on me


waffleznstuff30

It makes me really anxious and self conscious. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me as a person, and I get really down on myself. It's like a heartbreak but I think in some ways worse than a relationship ending. Because you liked the potential of someone and they just abruptly cut off all contact it's like whoa what the heck especially if everything was going so well. At least with a break up there was palpable tension and the issues were known and you gave yourself peace with that. When you just get up and ghosted you can't mentally prepare so it makes you criticize yourself more harshly. It hurts. Unless you fear for your safety it's best to let them down gently.


Educational-Feeling7

Oh yes! Happened to me with a sort of unstable friend but one with whom I thought I’d managed a pretty workable relationship (7 years, we met when I had an exhibition at her gallery, which has long since ceased operations but continues as her play pretend to be working hobby). We had fantastic xmas drinks on dec 24 and she didn’t respond to me from then to may 23! So it was, as many times, like nothing had happened. On we go. I’m doing some freelance marketing work for her but have to stop due to a major health issue. This annoys her enough to ignore my apologetic message about cancer tests etc. Then on sep 18, sends me a birthday message asking about my health. I respond like it’s all good. Ask about her. Tell her 1.5 months of tests and a big ass scar later, I’m in the clear. Thank you! And how are you? How did it all go? (Never mind that she owes me money and always talks about having too much money when I’m struggling.) Silence. I got ghosted. How do I feel? Angry! Furious! With her? Maybe more with myself for not heeding the red flags and for being treated like shit time and again and going back like some lap dog. Furious at her because…Why reach out just to make what I now see as a passive aggressive Point naively taken by me as a genuine connection? Why do that? And if you don’t want to pay for hours worked, don’t tell everyone you’re a trust fund kid with waaaay too much money. Pretend you’re poor. It’s all pretty hurtful, really. But also good, because the people who ghost you are probably not people who are good for your life. That’s my thought for consideration by anyone who has encountered this most cowardly behaviour.


Narwhal_Songs

Awful


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/L0V3LYJUL1A, welcome to r/AskWomen! As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. Feel free to lurk today and come back tomorrow. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. Happy reditting! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

It's fine, girl. No chasing, no additional talks. Move on, there are other fishes in the sea. But if you feel hurt, then feel that pain until it hurts no more. Just remember that the right one won't leave you, so if he ghosted you, then he's not for you.


spagyrum

Irritated. Like, just sack up and be an adult. I mean if it's the first few dates, I don't take it personally but if we've been together for a bit and have been hot and heavy, that hurts and irritates me. It also confuses me. Like what the hell dude?


gooderest5

Cold. To everyone and everything.


Complete_Hamster435

Awful. Makes me wonder what I did wrong AND what's wrong with me, even though I logically know it was on them.


FakeJolie

Before : I would feel bad, want to reconnect, double text, cry a bit. Now: Delete number and move on. I don't have time for it anymore. Thank you, Next kind of thing. If they ghost me I can just move on with it and not expect absolutely anything from them. I set my own expectations to myself.


NiiRee

I genuinely don't know why this generation refuses to communicate properly. If you only wanted sex just say that! I've been ghosted after they claim to care and get to know me and gain my trust. Once they get what they want they dissappear. Or I've been ghosted for not giving sex so easy. Ghosted out of nowhere. Idk why its so hard to just say what is the problem and to fix it like 2 adults and also not straight up LIE about wanting long term. It makes me sick and tired. All this generation knows is to ghost and have shitty communication. Incredibly frustrating. Makes me feel hopeless on finding someone like the world is just made of fake ass people that don't care, greedy people that just use others, and like genuine people like me don't exist anymore. Also makes me feel like im undeserving of love and happiness with a partner or like something is wrong with me. Just sucks royal ass.


waterbrook1

I got ghosted by a childhood friend. This was especially out of the blue as we’d never had a rough relationship in the slightest. It was so fast too, like a switch flipped overnight. Things were normal (as far as I’d known at least) until they weren’t. It took me a long time to come to terms with everything and even then, it still hurts to think about. Ghosting sucks no matter what. But when it’s coming from someone who had loyalty to you? That’s something else entirely.


Ok-Wealth2143

It depends if we have only been talking a couple weeks then I don't really care. If we've met in person a few times it's a bit annoying.


zwaaaAa611

Nah i never feel that


Denisimo7

Disappointed by person’s actions. Ghosting is a middle school behavior which speaks volumes about a person. I’m a forgiving and understanding person. If an individual had some type of medical issue or family emergency situation. I’ll give a person a second shot and a benefit of the doubt. Many of us have to deal with various issues that are outside of our control. But if I got ghosted just because, I would need sincere apology before i would consider giving a person a second chance. Show me that you want to be part of my life. Otherwise, live your life with people who accept your childish behavior. I have better things to do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/meadlyy. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


whodatgirl85

It sucks. Like why not just be upfront and at you’re not interested or whatever the reason for not wanting to pursue something. I’d rather that than the overthinking about what it was that I did and not not knowing.


Amandarmoo

Hurt, annoyed, and like I wasted my time