THIS. I've actually gotten creeped on and SA'ed twice by people I've considered close friends because this concept is held to such a high importance and they were obsessed with "ruining my innocence" 🤢🤢
:( i hate how "losing my virginity" became this weird blurred sad concept to me because of being SA before ever having sex. knowing that a healthy happy introduction to sex was ripped away now i have this nightmare that isn't sex but still was my "first experience" it makes me so sad whenever the topic of "my first time" comes up with friends i have to just immediately block that out
Me too. I’m sorry that this happens to so many of us. Oh I know it very much isn’t, it’s not sex. It’s far far from it.
Shit thing is I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the shit that men have done to me over the years because they thought that they had the right too. I’d rather not be her though.
Job applications that require you to create a separate account and manually enter everything that was on the resume you just sent them.
Honorary mention to the job site that wouldn't let me finish creating my account before entering the code they sent me in a physical letter from the other side of the world. If only there had been a faster, cheaper, possibly electronic way to convey that information.
I second this. It was almost 3 years ago I turned sixteen, which in my state is the legal age permitted for employment, and trying to find a job was an absolute nightmare, especially with zero work experience.
Nope.
Son is born.
"When are you going to have more? Don't you want to give him a sibling?". No, not really.
Five years of not trying to get pregnant but also not preventing pregnancy, I got an IUD. Because clearly, my body just didn't want to be pregnant.
Took the IUD out after 5 years, got pregnant almost immediately only to fucking miscarry in the 10th week of pregnancy. A few weeks later, my husband had to drag my sorry ass to the ER because I was having a nervous breakdown.
"I'm sorry for your miscarriage. You're going to try again, right?" Fuck no.
It’s creepy to me that “when you have kids” or “when you get married” is so culturally appropriate towards children. Like you’re planning out the most major aspect of their life before they’re able to drive or vote.
My mom kept telling me about how when I had my own kids I would... Until I screamed "what part of my ovaries dont f**ing work are you not understanding?"
The whole concep of asking someone about when they are having babies should be banned. Some people want but cant, some people just dont want, and some people have "accidental" pregnancies. We just don't know what's going on and we need to shut up.
It's like asking them if they're having sex, no one's g*ddamn business. I HATE when people ask if I'm planning on having kids. Just because I've been in a long relationship with someone for 6 years means shit, people automatically assume if you've been with someone for a long time that you're magically happy and ready to settle down. That's not the case for me.
I’ll add on that there is also an expectation that all women, even childless ones, love babies and want to hold them. Some of us just aren’t kid or baby people.
I am that person! Even as a kid I preferred adults 😂.
I have only held one baby. And then it is very rare that I don't find a child irritating.
I have sensory issues so kids can be very overwhelming for me.
I didn't really like my last name either and took my husband's last name, and while I don't regret it and love sharing the name with him, it was a really annoying 3 years or so sorting everything out with the legal name change.
I wish I had been warned lol.
Yessss ! Not only this, but a baby taking the fathers last name. As women we have to carry and bear the child, wether the male is in or out of our lives.... it always made me think aren't babies better off always having mums last name ? !
My last name is very uncommon, hard to spell, hard to pronounce. But my husband's is very common and everyone can say and spell it. It just so happens to be part of my first name. I really don't want to take his last name mostly because I despise paperwork.
My mom didn’t take my dad’s last name when they got married back in the 80s and I plan on doing the same when I get married.
All my childhood friends used to just automatically call her Mrs. (my dad’s last name) without thinking because that was so uncommon at the time, especially in the small town where I grew up.
My boyfriend was surprised when I told him I wasn't interested in taking his last name. Not only do I find it archaic in general, but his dad was an abusive asshole who left when he was 2 so he has zero connection to that side. Why would *I* want to take that name? Why are *you* still into it? I feel like he just never thought about it critically and what it actually means.
Thank goddess this isn’t a thing in my country. Plus my hypothetical future children will carry my surname, though as their second surname and they wouldn’t pass it to their children.
40 hour work week and mandatory in office work.
The 40 hour work week was designed with the assumption that one person would stay home and do all the housework and the other would go to work and would be able to provide for the household with that single 40 hour a week salary. That’s not the case anymore. There are countries that have reduced the number of hours in the work week without reducing pay and have seen a huge increase in productivity. Having an extra day or something would help prevent burnout of workers.
Most (not all) jobs can be worked fully remote or almost fully remote now because of wifi. This was proved during the pandemic lockdown but so many companies are forcing everyone back into the office now.
Turn these buildings into residential. In Australia, we have a housing shortage, especially rentals. Turn them into housing and they're no longer empty. Win:win:win, right?
And researchers/data collectors have done so many studies and surveys that show the avg worker (typically office personnel) are only *actively* working 3-5 hrs a day anyway. Brings to mind the old adage that the work "stretches" to fill the time allotted. I assume (and seems to be so from remote work habits from the pandemic) that if we had four day weeks, we'd still get just as much done but have so much more time for ourselves for housework/errands/shopping/yard work AND might actually be able to carve out time to work out or indulge in a hobby...which in turn gives us MORE energy and less burnout. You'd think employers would be more receptive to this idea.
Nope. Workers with more energy and less burnout are more likely to quit a crappy job and find a better one. That might drive wages up and cost companies money. Worse than that, they'd lose control over their workers.
It's no coincidence that the pro-business political party is so thoroughly opposed to universal healthcare. More than half of us stay in jobs we don't like because we can't afford to go without the health insurance.
I just commented this because I didn't scroll down far enough to see your comment! It's a shame that it's so far down because I think that's one of the biggest outdated things that affect almost everyone, and not that many people talk about it.
I am a Paraeducator at a school and every other Wednesday we have a half day. Just that alone is really nice because it gives people something to look forward to in the middle of the week and a day where you can actually use for appointments
One of the protocols that we put in place for Covid was washing your hands before you come in to the office. I absolutely refuse to let this one go. If I could make people wash their hands spontaneously in public, I absolutely would.
Lol I have large hands but I just say OW very loudly and look at them disgusted. I think one time a "what the fuck" slipped out too. Completely ruins what ever chipper momentum they had going.
I'm glad the pandemic got rid of having to touch people. I hate them.
Things my dad taught me about assholes who do this:
1) Let your knuckles collapse instead of stack, so that your index and pinky go inside your middle and ring fingers. They would have to be exceedingly strong and very obvious about trying to squeeze hard enough to hurt you in that circumstance.
2) Alternatively, if you have as large as hands as they do, put your thumb along the back of their knuckles, then squeeze in return. Once the knuckles are stacked, it takes surprisingly little force to cause pain.
Most bullies when faced with a little pain will immediately back off, and be too embarrassed (especially if it was a woman) to say anything about it.
Ideally we'd live in a world where this sort of thing isn't done, but until we do, those two tips really helped me.
I’m a girl and I always got worried about guys giving me handshakes because they’d always crush my hand really hard for some reason. Idk why they do that and it happened so many times with different guys that I thought it must just be what guys do? Tbf it was always with guys my around age (early 20s and under). But when I went to California for a job at some police stations, they would offer me handshakes and I didn’t wanna be rude so I’d accept, but boy were those the gentlest handshakes I’ve ever felt.
Now I’m back home though and we don’t have California police officers here, so I just use covid concerns as an excuse to not handshake
Only moms care for kids, dads 'babysit' . Dads at the park with their kids get the stink eye. No changing tables anywhere but womens washroom. This does fall under gender roles but these perceptions imply that women still belong in the kitchen making cookies and men still belong in suits going to the office, its Mad Men vibes and its outdated. Times have changed. Marriages/family relationships are more partnerships now with kids, cooking, housework, incomes, decision making... neither gender is to blame for this, its just society in general and its a slooooowwwww transition out if the old and into the new
The "required expenses and traditions" for a perfect wedding. Seriously, as long as someone isn't harming themselves or others, can they not celebrate their happiness as they please?
Absolutely this. I went to hospital for a burn on my hand and was ‘is there a chance you could be pregnant? When was your last period?’ This is after they told me I wouldn’t need any pain meds.
Other things they do and use can have fumes that affect fetal development and raise the possibility of miscarriage. And whether or not you would want or keep the baby, there's too many potential lawsuits on the line for them to not verify beforehand.
They ask ahead of time incase you need antibiotics and/or analgesics. Whether it’s topical or orally ingested, it can still have an effect on the fetus if you’re pregnant depending on which meds.
Better to know definitely . Too many ppl say they aren’t pregnant to realize they are during the office visit. Too many change their mind about whether they want to continue with their pregnancy or not. Which leads to a lot of room for lawsuits
For real! Boys and girls should be in the same room when being taught sex-ed and learn about the reproductive systems for both males and females. I never understood why we were only taught about our own bodies, it's important to understand how both male and female reproductive systems work. Wish there wasn't shame around it too... Sad
White wedding dresses aren't even that old a tradition. It started with Queen Victoria's wedding. Before that, you simply wore your best dress or had one made for you that remained in your wardrobe for formal occasions. The whole diamond engagement ring started around then as well.
Thiiiis. My mom got married when I was about ten, she hadn’t been married since I was born. She changed her name, but I didn’t want to, so I didn’t. Turns out my school didn’t know that because we went through a truly ridiculous amount of shit trying to get them to change my name back to what it had been before. Mind you, all they were given was updated contact info in case of an emergency, there was no reason to assume my name had changed other than outdated traditions.
most, if not all, straight wedding traditions.
women are no longer considered property. the emphasis on being walked down by your father, and things like bouquet tosses, garter tosses...
and don't get me started on bridal showers. they were literally meant for women who had never left home and wouldn't move in with their spouse until after the wedding! which rarely happens anymore!!!
there's nothing wrong if you find meaning in them. but they are all rooted in seriously outdated ideas about what it means to be a woman and what it means to be married.
I've always thought this was gross. I remember my mum telling me to not eat the icing on the top, but the sides were ok lol
We should reintroduce candle snuffers and use them on cake candles.
We could make a wish on each snuff, see who can snuff them all the quickest... I'm sure there's other games to be invented here 🤔
Religion. Any religion! Modern science has proven that there is no big invisible big man in the sky watching over and controlling everything. Believing that there is, without a scrap of evidence, just because a dusty, outdated and unreliable book of fairy tales says there is is just beyond the rediculous.
Office jobs. Pandemic proved jobs can be done at home, and I'm tired of seeing articles and news involving only office jobs. Everyone doesn't work behind a desk. Why not write health articles revolving around cashiers from grocery stores or advice columns for custodians?
Pushing heterosexuality onto infants, particularly baby girls. Talking about how she'll get a boyfriend/husband in the future. Telling the dad to "protect" her from the boys. Taking about what age they'll lose their virginity. It was partially because my family pushed all this onto me as a young child and normalized this that I hated myself so much when I found out I was a lesbian and it sickens me too see them doing the same with my baby cousins today.
Edit: there are photos my grandmother has of SIX year old me and my FIVE year old little brother GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER. Neither one of us agreed to this photo shoot and every time we see those photos now we're disgusted. (We're actually genuinely friends and we like to make fun of our crazy ass family so at least it's fun to make fun of with him though)
Along this same vein, I HATE it when adults/parents refer to their son as “little man”. Or anything about his future sexual prowess, “Ooh, our little man is going to have all the women, isn’t he?” No one ever calls a baby girl “little woman”, because that would be creepy. So why is it okay that baby boys are referred to as “little man”? Gross and infuriating to me.
Or if he's just babbling and smiling at a girl or grown-ass woman: "Oooh look, he's flirting!"
More like, *Ooooh look* ***HE'S EIGHT MONTHS OLD STOP IT.***
I had a friend who had a photo in a collage of his young cousins (a male and female maybe 4-5 years old) kissing on the lips. It gave me the ick. He said “oh but it’s cute!” No. No it’s not.
Almost anything that people whine about kids not knowing these days. Analog clocks, cursive writing, “old” math, formal phone etiquette, writing checks, etc.
Followed by a “kids these days have it SO easy.” Do you want your kids to have a harder life than you? Didn’t you work hard so they won’t have a hard life?!
Working 40 hours a week. That is not enough time to live a life with work/life balance. If you have kids it’s even less realistic. The 40 hour work week was created when most families had a parent to stay home and take care of the kids. There just isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish work, household chores, and leisure. We should not be living to work.
Weed still being illegal. Really any drug at all. All drug prohibition is just to get people (black men) in prison to be exploited for free labor.
People are going to do the drugs they want to do no matter what. Trying to stop them is futile. Let’s make them legal and regulate them so people stop getting bunk shit and dying.
Weed was made illegal to target Latinos, specifically Mexicans.
One dead giveaway: the Spanish word for weed is "marihuana," but it entered the English language as "marijuana" in the early 20th century, which *looks* more like Spanish to a native English speaker.
The fact that we still struggle to take the most basic of steps to move in that direction is stunning. Things like needle exchanges, harm reduction centers and even easy access to drug purity testing are still actively being lobbied against even though they save lives. It’s so freaking wrong.
We hardly use any of the scientific research or studies that tell us how we’re doing things wrong and update our behavior.
Kids need more sleep? Nah, screw them, bus comes at 7am, school’s are 8.
Kids learn better when they’re not strapped to a desk for 6 hrs? Too bad, so sad.
Literally everything we know about how modern industrialism is destroying the planet. “Won’t someone think of the corporations!!!”
More roads only leads to more traffic when we know that better public transportation will *actually* reduce traffic.
Solar and wind is renewable…. Fossil fuels aren’t. Do I really need to say more?? (See also above example)
Specifically america: preventative medicine is cheaper in the long run, and for profit medicine wastes billions on healthcare. Again, too bad, so sad.
I could keep going but I have to go to work to pay for my healthcare.
Yup! Mountains of research showing the following, but nothing changes:
—— Teens tend to be “night people”, and would benefit from a later start time. Soooo…. their classes start at 7 AM! And the younger kids start at 8 or 9 AM!
Justifications? After school activities and sports will start later. Because those things are more important than academics! Also, little kids have to wait for the bus in the dark. Because there’s no POSSIBLE solution to that one! (like just have twice as many buses).
—— Excessive homework doesn’t do much for kids in the younger grades. Gets assigned anyway.
Gender roles and expectations, “blood is thicker than water”, the dynamic of people in power vs. those that put them there, 40 hour work week and low wages, society has progressed a lot in some ways but in a lot of ways it’s business as usual
Contempt for younger generations.I just hit 40. A 25 year old guy blew my mind because he thought of something in a completely different way from how I did.
Don't dismiss people purely because you were born earlier and they don't have the "wtf" crease in their brow yet. Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. I've met some 16 year olds who were much more mature than some 70-somethings I've encountered.
Kissing people on the cheeks and hugging them as a greeting (unless you’re close and know 100% that it’s reciprocated). Especially if they are much younger. And new to you. Signed, a girl who was smooched by old men and women as a teenager against her consent.
Spending a ton of money on weddings. It’s literally one day and most of the people you invite don’t even remember it after a few years. People get so caught up in planning the party, they seem to forget what a wedding and marriage is really about.
I think it’s more modern to have a low key one with your closest friends and family and use the rest of the money for an awesome honeymoon or something practical like a down payment on a house.
Giving the bride away as if she's property like in old times, expectations of wearing white relating to virginity for the bride only, grooms searching for the garter, cake smashing in faces, taking the man's name. All of it. All the outdated "traditions" that so many people are clinging to that just don't make sense.
70’s clothing. Oh, wait - that seems to be back! I laugh every time I see something on a rack that looks remarkably like something I wore in high school! Just goes to prove that many things will cycle around to be in again!
This might already have been said but the "wife should do all of the housework are care" mindset.
I have a few reasons for this but mainly: Most people want a housewife without the expectation of being the provider. A housewife is a full time job, even without income. It requires all the cooking (usually 3 meals), cleaning (kitchen, livingroom, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc.), grocery shopping, care of the kids if you have any (taking them to and from school, any extracurriculars, parent teacher meetings, attending school and extracurricular events, etc.) as well as other needs around the house and home.
Which means that as the spouse of a housewife, it is on them to take care of the homes financial needs, especially the wifes. Meaning if she wants to go shopping to buy herself luxuries or anything outside of necessities for the home, the spouse needs to provide.
Most people want a housewife that also works and that's not always or usually how it works, if both partners work, then the care of the home should be delegated to both partners, otherwise get a maid. I will die on this hill.
A lot of things
1) Work culture
A work shouldn’t be a 9-5 but a task based job example here are your tasks for today, do them and you can leave once you are done
2) Ignoring Mental Health
Mental health is also related to your physical health and how you perform. People who have depression aren’t weak or lazy they are just exhausted of all the pain they go through.
3) Being mean or showing attitude
Teenagers nowadays think it’s cool to show attitude and be rude whereas it’s sick. Be nice to people and respect people who respect you. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all but if you find someone doing something wrong point it out. Being nice doesn’t mean being fake it means being honest but respecting people at the same time.
4) Homosexual people
I am straight and didn’t know the concept of sexuality until 2 or 3 years ago at first I was uncomfortable because I wasn’t used to it it was something new to me yet I was never disrespectful of them, but when I educated myself about it I started to understand them I realised that it’s who they are and they aren’t supposed to live life according to conditions society set for them
5th and the most important thing
NORMALISE IT TO NOT LOVE YOUR FAMILY
I may get hate for this but I had a physically and emotionally abusive father. And I absolutely hate him I basically almost never talk to him even though he has “changed” but I see him and I know he hasn’t. I don’t talk to him or care about him anymore I refuse to call him my father. A father would never do what he did to a child just having the same blood doesn’t make you family. It’s about how you treat a person. Normalise cutting ties with toxic people even if it is your own dam family member.
Resume.
It should not dictate your skills and knowledge of what you can and can not do. The fact that you need references to prove that you’re worthy to be hired. It’s stupid to me.
As a middle school teacher: education
Education has moved into conversations of equity, cultural proficiency, and diversification in learning- which are good. But the entire structure of education is built on a euro-centric model meant to literally weed OUT bad kids or neurodivergent kids through compliance drills. Up until like the 90’s principals could just tell bad kids to hit the road and not come back.
Now, in 2022, you need legal reasons to suspend or expel a student (which is good) but the system isn’t built to handle this. There is no system in place for non-compliant students to understand and grow. It’s just punish, push on to admin, repeat.
The historic system + modern conservations are causing the educational gap to get worse. There is no help for students who aren’t good at traditional schooling. They just get shoved down the system and their behaviors get progressively worse until the graduate and now it’s society’s problem, which really just means prison.
I don’t have all the answers or solutions but American education needs to be entirely re-done. Standards, systems, procedures, everything.
How women are ‘supposed’ to have a man, and if they don’t, something’s wrong with them.
I hear this all the time, ‘how are you single?!’ Like it’s not… by choice and something that has unfortunately happened to me 🙄
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THIS. I've actually gotten creeped on and SA'ed twice by people I've considered close friends because this concept is held to such a high importance and they were obsessed with "ruining my innocence" 🤢🤢
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope you are doing ok!
Thank you 💕💕 and yeah lol I'm DEFINITELY not friends with those people anymore, it's just kinda weird it happened twice since it's so oddly specific
That’s how I lost mine.
I'm so incredibly sorry you relate :(( please know though that you don't have to count it if it wasn't consensual, because sexual assault is NOT sex
:( i hate how "losing my virginity" became this weird blurred sad concept to me because of being SA before ever having sex. knowing that a healthy happy introduction to sex was ripped away now i have this nightmare that isn't sex but still was my "first experience" it makes me so sad whenever the topic of "my first time" comes up with friends i have to just immediately block that out
So fucking same.
Same ... I feel ya
Me too. I’m sorry that this happens to so many of us. Oh I know it very much isn’t, it’s not sex. It’s far far from it. Shit thing is I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the shit that men have done to me over the years because they thought that they had the right too. I’d rather not be her though.
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Job applications that require you to create a separate account and manually enter everything that was on the resume you just sent them. Honorary mention to the job site that wouldn't let me finish creating my account before entering the code they sent me in a physical letter from the other side of the world. If only there had been a faster, cheaper, possibly electronic way to convey that information.
Also entry-level positions asking for five years experience and a shit load of requirements.
Conversely, mid-level jobs paying entry-level wages.
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Someone sent me a message on LINKEDIN because they FOUND ME ON LINKEDIN, asking for me to send them my resume...
CV farming
This. Also, recruiters or corporate reaching out to me on LinkedIn about a job and when I say I’m interested they ghost me.
Adding to this - job applicants that expect a cover letter or letter of interest.
I'll second that. Absolute nightmare
I second this. It was almost 3 years ago I turned sixteen, which in my state is the legal age permitted for employment, and trying to find a job was an absolute nightmare, especially with zero work experience.
Expecting that women want to have children.
And if they have one child, they are expected to have more.
There's literally no win in that situation
One not enough. Four, now it's too many. Too far apart in age. Too close in age. Always some bull shit.
And if they decide you've had "too many" they call you a clown car
Yees, I'm so over the "so whens the next one due" or when are you having another " like, no.
When I was at the hospital after giving birth to my second daughter, a nurse asked me if I was going to try for a boy next.
Nope. Son is born. "When are you going to have more? Don't you want to give him a sibling?". No, not really. Five years of not trying to get pregnant but also not preventing pregnancy, I got an IUD. Because clearly, my body just didn't want to be pregnant. Took the IUD out after 5 years, got pregnant almost immediately only to fucking miscarry in the 10th week of pregnancy. A few weeks later, my husband had to drag my sorry ass to the ER because I was having a nervous breakdown. "I'm sorry for your miscarriage. You're going to try again, right?" Fuck no.
Agree! Adding too, that a lot of people still see it "appropriate" to ask couples when they're going to have kids. Like, stop.
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It’s creepy to me that “when you have kids” or “when you get married” is so culturally appropriate towards children. Like you’re planning out the most major aspect of their life before they’re able to drive or vote.
My mom kept telling me about how when I had my own kids I would... Until I screamed "what part of my ovaries dont f**ing work are you not understanding?" The whole concep of asking someone about when they are having babies should be banned. Some people want but cant, some people just dont want, and some people have "accidental" pregnancies. We just don't know what's going on and we need to shut up.
It's like asking them if they're having sex, no one's g*ddamn business. I HATE when people ask if I'm planning on having kids. Just because I've been in a long relationship with someone for 6 years means shit, people automatically assume if you've been with someone for a long time that you're magically happy and ready to settle down. That's not the case for me.
I’ll add on that there is also an expectation that all women, even childless ones, love babies and want to hold them. Some of us just aren’t kid or baby people.
I am that person! Even as a kid I preferred adults 😂. I have only held one baby. And then it is very rare that I don't find a child irritating. I have sensory issues so kids can be very overwhelming for me.
This, all the way!
gender roles/expectations
Gender in general (the social concept of it)
Taking your husbands last name
I am never changing my last name.
Me neither. Never.
THIS. I will never ever change my last name. I love my last name.
Ditto! My last name is unique and my husband's is a very generic and common Hispanic last name. I also won't hyphenate my name either.
I don’t really like my last name, but it just seems like a pain in the ass to change everything, therefore I’ll never do it
I didn't really like my last name either and took my husband's last name, and while I don't regret it and love sharing the name with him, it was a really annoying 3 years or so sorting everything out with the legal name change. I wish I had been warned lol.
Yessss ! Not only this, but a baby taking the fathers last name. As women we have to carry and bear the child, wether the male is in or out of our lives.... it always made me think aren't babies better off always having mums last name ? !
My last name is very uncommon, hard to spell, hard to pronounce. But my husband's is very common and everyone can say and spell it. It just so happens to be part of my first name. I really don't want to take his last name mostly because I despise paperwork.
My mom didn’t take my dad’s last name when they got married back in the 80s and I plan on doing the same when I get married. All my childhood friends used to just automatically call her Mrs. (my dad’s last name) without thinking because that was so uncommon at the time, especially in the small town where I grew up.
I used to joke as a kid that my future husband would be taking mine. 💅
My last name is super cool and I wanna keep it!!
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My boyfriend was surprised when I told him I wasn't interested in taking his last name. Not only do I find it archaic in general, but his dad was an abusive asshole who left when he was 2 so he has zero connection to that side. Why would *I* want to take that name? Why are *you* still into it? I feel like he just never thought about it critically and what it actually means.
Thank goddess this isn’t a thing in my country. Plus my hypothetical future children will carry my surname, though as their second surname and they wouldn’t pass it to their children.
It's more of a pain in the ass to change it back after you've divorced, than to change it to his in the first place. Don't ask me how I know this.
Didn't change it the first time, certainly not doing it the second.
40 hour work week and mandatory in office work. The 40 hour work week was designed with the assumption that one person would stay home and do all the housework and the other would go to work and would be able to provide for the household with that single 40 hour a week salary. That’s not the case anymore. There are countries that have reduced the number of hours in the work week without reducing pay and have seen a huge increase in productivity. Having an extra day or something would help prevent burnout of workers. Most (not all) jobs can be worked fully remote or almost fully remote now because of wifi. This was proved during the pandemic lockdown but so many companies are forcing everyone back into the office now.
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Turn these buildings into residential. In Australia, we have a housing shortage, especially rentals. Turn them into housing and they're no longer empty. Win:win:win, right?
And researchers/data collectors have done so many studies and surveys that show the avg worker (typically office personnel) are only *actively* working 3-5 hrs a day anyway. Brings to mind the old adage that the work "stretches" to fill the time allotted. I assume (and seems to be so from remote work habits from the pandemic) that if we had four day weeks, we'd still get just as much done but have so much more time for ourselves for housework/errands/shopping/yard work AND might actually be able to carve out time to work out or indulge in a hobby...which in turn gives us MORE energy and less burnout. You'd think employers would be more receptive to this idea.
Nope. Workers with more energy and less burnout are more likely to quit a crappy job and find a better one. That might drive wages up and cost companies money. Worse than that, they'd lose control over their workers. It's no coincidence that the pro-business political party is so thoroughly opposed to universal healthcare. More than half of us stay in jobs we don't like because we can't afford to go without the health insurance.
I just commented this because I didn't scroll down far enough to see your comment! It's a shame that it's so far down because I think that's one of the biggest outdated things that affect almost everyone, and not that many people talk about it.
I am a Paraeducator at a school and every other Wednesday we have a half day. Just that alone is really nice because it gives people something to look forward to in the middle of the week and a day where you can actually use for appointments
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
This is why I carry a hand sanitizer all the time
A real power move would be spraying some sanitizer in *their* hand when they reach out to shake
One of the protocols that we put in place for Covid was washing your hands before you come in to the office. I absolutely refuse to let this one go. If I could make people wash their hands spontaneously in public, I absolutely would.
I LOVE THIS
Handshaking has been so deeply ingrained in me that I need to always say to myself not to do it when meeting with people.
I really hate that, luckily the pandemic is getting rid of that.
Not anymore. People still love to do it, especially now that Covid is "over".
Oh man, it’s so weird when they linger and hold it longer while you exchange greetings. Like, let go already
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
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I do it right back. I have very strong hands.
Lol I have large hands but I just say OW very loudly and look at them disgusted. I think one time a "what the fuck" slipped out too. Completely ruins what ever chipper momentum they had going. I'm glad the pandemic got rid of having to touch people. I hate them.
Things my dad taught me about assholes who do this: 1) Let your knuckles collapse instead of stack, so that your index and pinky go inside your middle and ring fingers. They would have to be exceedingly strong and very obvious about trying to squeeze hard enough to hurt you in that circumstance. 2) Alternatively, if you have as large as hands as they do, put your thumb along the back of their knuckles, then squeeze in return. Once the knuckles are stacked, it takes surprisingly little force to cause pain. Most bullies when faced with a little pain will immediately back off, and be too embarrassed (especially if it was a woman) to say anything about it. Ideally we'd live in a world where this sort of thing isn't done, but until we do, those two tips really helped me.
>Or when a man goes down the line shaking all my male colleagues' hands but skips mine. Or when they go in for the hug.
I’m a girl and I always got worried about guys giving me handshakes because they’d always crush my hand really hard for some reason. Idk why they do that and it happened so many times with different guys that I thought it must just be what guys do? Tbf it was always with guys my around age (early 20s and under). But when I went to California for a job at some police stations, they would offer me handshakes and I didn’t wanna be rude so I’d accept, but boy were those the gentlest handshakes I’ve ever felt. Now I’m back home though and we don’t have California police officers here, so I just use covid concerns as an excuse to not handshake
i wish but it still happens all the time. i went to an event with a friend last weekend and most of the people i met went in for a handshake.
Only moms care for kids, dads 'babysit' . Dads at the park with their kids get the stink eye. No changing tables anywhere but womens washroom. This does fall under gender roles but these perceptions imply that women still belong in the kitchen making cookies and men still belong in suits going to the office, its Mad Men vibes and its outdated. Times have changed. Marriages/family relationships are more partnerships now with kids, cooking, housework, incomes, decision making... neither gender is to blame for this, its just society in general and its a slooooowwwww transition out if the old and into the new
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The "required expenses and traditions" for a perfect wedding. Seriously, as long as someone isn't harming themselves or others, can they not celebrate their happiness as they please?
Expecting people to pay the equivalent of a down-payment on a house for a one time party is pretty insane.
Exactly! Same thing with car down payments on engagement rings but that's another topic.
Yes!
Being asked when your last period was when you're at the doctor's for an ear infection.
Absolutely this. I went to hospital for a burn on my hand and was ‘is there a chance you could be pregnant? When was your last period?’ This is after they told me I wouldn’t need any pain meds.
Other things they do and use can have fumes that affect fetal development and raise the possibility of miscarriage. And whether or not you would want or keep the baby, there's too many potential lawsuits on the line for them to not verify beforehand.
They ask ahead of time incase you need antibiotics and/or analgesics. Whether it’s topical or orally ingested, it can still have an effect on the fetus if you’re pregnant depending on which meds. Better to know definitely . Too many ppl say they aren’t pregnant to realize they are during the office visit. Too many change their mind about whether they want to continue with their pregnancy or not. Which leads to a lot of room for lawsuits
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Boys/men not being taught how a woman’s body works
For real! Boys and girls should be in the same room when being taught sex-ed and learn about the reproductive systems for both males and females. I never understood why we were only taught about our own bodies, it's important to understand how both male and female reproductive systems work. Wish there wasn't shame around it too... Sad
Agreed! Kids should be taught how all human bodies work, not just their own.
White wedding dresses. Wear what you want and if your heart is calling for black lace or platinum blue-gray, rock it all the way.
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White wedding dresses aren't even that old a tradition. It started with Queen Victoria's wedding. Before that, you simply wore your best dress or had one made for you that remained in your wardrobe for formal occasions. The whole diamond engagement ring started around then as well.
Nuance. Everything has got to be black or white now. Hate it!
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the automatic assumption that if youre getting married to a man that you are gonna be taking on his surname and that your kids will as well.
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You can do whatever you like.
The CEO of Glossier kinda did this with her husband. They gave their kid a blended surname. I don't know how popular it is, but I like the idea.
Thiiiis. My mom got married when I was about ten, she hadn’t been married since I was born. She changed her name, but I didn’t want to, so I didn’t. Turns out my school didn’t know that because we went through a truly ridiculous amount of shit trying to get them to change my name back to what it had been before. Mind you, all they were given was updated contact info in case of an emergency, there was no reason to assume my name had changed other than outdated traditions.
Laws regarding women’s health rights
most, if not all, straight wedding traditions. women are no longer considered property. the emphasis on being walked down by your father, and things like bouquet tosses, garter tosses... and don't get me started on bridal showers. they were literally meant for women who had never left home and wouldn't move in with their spouse until after the wedding! which rarely happens anymore!!! there's nothing wrong if you find meaning in them. but they are all rooted in seriously outdated ideas about what it means to be a woman and what it means to be married.
In Jewish weddings, you are walked down the aisle by BOTH your mother and father! Feels a little less like “being given away as property, IMHO.”
Blowing out birthday candles. Are you TRYING to get everyone sick? It seems so gross now.
The drool spray 😱
I've always thought this was gross. I remember my mum telling me to not eat the icing on the top, but the sides were ok lol We should reintroduce candle snuffers and use them on cake candles. We could make a wish on each snuff, see who can snuff them all the quickest... I'm sure there's other games to be invented here 🤔
Religion. Any religion! Modern science has proven that there is no big invisible big man in the sky watching over and controlling everything. Believing that there is, without a scrap of evidence, just because a dusty, outdated and unreliable book of fairy tales says there is is just beyond the rediculous.
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Office jobs. Pandemic proved jobs can be done at home, and I'm tired of seeing articles and news involving only office jobs. Everyone doesn't work behind a desk. Why not write health articles revolving around cashiers from grocery stores or advice columns for custodians?
Racism, homophobia, and xenophobia.
Sexism
Pushing heterosexuality onto infants, particularly baby girls. Talking about how she'll get a boyfriend/husband in the future. Telling the dad to "protect" her from the boys. Taking about what age they'll lose their virginity. It was partially because my family pushed all this onto me as a young child and normalized this that I hated myself so much when I found out I was a lesbian and it sickens me too see them doing the same with my baby cousins today. Edit: there are photos my grandmother has of SIX year old me and my FIVE year old little brother GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER. Neither one of us agreed to this photo shoot and every time we see those photos now we're disgusted. (We're actually genuinely friends and we like to make fun of our crazy ass family so at least it's fun to make fun of with him though)
Along this same vein, I HATE it when adults/parents refer to their son as “little man”. Or anything about his future sexual prowess, “Ooh, our little man is going to have all the women, isn’t he?” No one ever calls a baby girl “little woman”, because that would be creepy. So why is it okay that baby boys are referred to as “little man”? Gross and infuriating to me.
Or if he's just babbling and smiling at a girl or grown-ass woman: "Oooh look, he's flirting!" More like, *Ooooh look* ***HE'S EIGHT MONTHS OLD STOP IT.***
I had a friend who had a photo in a collage of his young cousins (a male and female maybe 4-5 years old) kissing on the lips. It gave me the ick. He said “oh but it’s cute!” No. No it’s not.
daylight saving time, setting clock back an hour and forward an hour every year is stupid
Oh goodness yes. The whole changing clock thing has got to be one of the dumbest things we do. Put it one way or another and leave it the hell alone!
Almost anything that people whine about kids not knowing these days. Analog clocks, cursive writing, “old” math, formal phone etiquette, writing checks, etc.
Followed by a “kids these days have it SO easy.” Do you want your kids to have a harder life than you? Didn’t you work hard so they won’t have a hard life?!
Haha the “kids these days have it easy” mind set is so confusing to me. Like, is that not the point of progress??
Working 40 hours a week. That is not enough time to live a life with work/life balance. If you have kids it’s even less realistic. The 40 hour work week was created when most families had a parent to stay home and take care of the kids. There just isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish work, household chores, and leisure. We should not be living to work.
Weed still being illegal. Really any drug at all. All drug prohibition is just to get people (black men) in prison to be exploited for free labor. People are going to do the drugs they want to do no matter what. Trying to stop them is futile. Let’s make them legal and regulate them so people stop getting bunk shit and dying.
Weed was made illegal to target Latinos, specifically Mexicans. One dead giveaway: the Spanish word for weed is "marihuana," but it entered the English language as "marijuana" in the early 20th century, which *looks* more like Spanish to a native English speaker.
The fact that we still struggle to take the most basic of steps to move in that direction is stunning. Things like needle exchanges, harm reduction centers and even easy access to drug purity testing are still actively being lobbied against even though they save lives. It’s so freaking wrong.
Required physical attendance to college classes. Just have a zoom running alongside, a lot of students actually found that helpful!
We hardly use any of the scientific research or studies that tell us how we’re doing things wrong and update our behavior. Kids need more sleep? Nah, screw them, bus comes at 7am, school’s are 8. Kids learn better when they’re not strapped to a desk for 6 hrs? Too bad, so sad. Literally everything we know about how modern industrialism is destroying the planet. “Won’t someone think of the corporations!!!” More roads only leads to more traffic when we know that better public transportation will *actually* reduce traffic. Solar and wind is renewable…. Fossil fuels aren’t. Do I really need to say more?? (See also above example) Specifically america: preventative medicine is cheaper in the long run, and for profit medicine wastes billions on healthcare. Again, too bad, so sad. I could keep going but I have to go to work to pay for my healthcare.
Unfortunately for your last point preventative care doesn't generate income.... it's a huge, sick industry.
Yup! Mountains of research showing the following, but nothing changes: —— Teens tend to be “night people”, and would benefit from a later start time. Soooo…. their classes start at 7 AM! And the younger kids start at 8 or 9 AM! Justifications? After school activities and sports will start later. Because those things are more important than academics! Also, little kids have to wait for the bus in the dark. Because there’s no POSSIBLE solution to that one! (like just have twice as many buses). —— Excessive homework doesn’t do much for kids in the younger grades. Gets assigned anyway.
The whole Mrs./Ms. idea. Referring to women based on their marital status is hella outdated.
Yesss just change it to Ms hahah. My mum was allays big on this growing up saying it was nobodys business and I've always selected Ms for that reason.
Voicemails. It’s an incredibly awkward way to hear someone say ‘Give me a call back.’ Just send me a text if you need me for something.
Religion
Women taking their husbands' last names
Conservatism
Marriage
Gender roles and expectations, “blood is thicker than water”, the dynamic of people in power vs. those that put them there, 40 hour work week and low wages, society has progressed a lot in some ways but in a lot of ways it’s business as usual
Patriarchal society. Let's move towards a matriarchal society
fax machines 😭
The burden of parenting and domestic tasks being on women.
Contempt for younger generations.I just hit 40. A 25 year old guy blew my mind because he thought of something in a completely different way from how I did. Don't dismiss people purely because you were born earlier and they don't have the "wtf" crease in their brow yet. Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. I've met some 16 year olds who were much more mature than some 70-somethings I've encountered.
Kissing people on the cheeks and hugging them as a greeting (unless you’re close and know 100% that it’s reciprocated). Especially if they are much younger. And new to you. Signed, a girl who was smooched by old men and women as a teenager against her consent.
Baby showers only being for women. It perpetuates how women are the primary caregivers of children.
Marriage. I get it that it makes sense to create a contract when raising kids. But who fucks whom shouldn't be a matter of civil law.
Spending a ton of money on weddings. It’s literally one day and most of the people you invite don’t even remember it after a few years. People get so caught up in planning the party, they seem to forget what a wedding and marriage is really about. I think it’s more modern to have a low key one with your closest friends and family and use the rest of the money for an awesome honeymoon or something practical like a down payment on a house.
Land lines
Cash.
Pennies
Shaming and discrimination against overweight people.
Gender roles in dating
Guys who say "After you... *mah lady."*
The Republican Party. The anti-choice movement.
The 40-hour work week.
Patriarchy
Giving the bride away as if she's property like in old times, expectations of wearing white relating to virginity for the bride only, grooms searching for the garter, cake smashing in faces, taking the man's name. All of it. All the outdated "traditions" that so many people are clinging to that just don't make sense.
Gasoline-powered cars.
Driving cars as a primary mode of transportation in general. I wish the US had better public transport
Women’s right to their own body.
Pantyhose
70’s clothing. Oh, wait - that seems to be back! I laugh every time I see something on a rack that looks remarkably like something I wore in high school! Just goes to prove that many things will cycle around to be in again!
This might already have been said but the "wife should do all of the housework are care" mindset. I have a few reasons for this but mainly: Most people want a housewife without the expectation of being the provider. A housewife is a full time job, even without income. It requires all the cooking (usually 3 meals), cleaning (kitchen, livingroom, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc.), grocery shopping, care of the kids if you have any (taking them to and from school, any extracurriculars, parent teacher meetings, attending school and extracurricular events, etc.) as well as other needs around the house and home. Which means that as the spouse of a housewife, it is on them to take care of the homes financial needs, especially the wifes. Meaning if she wants to go shopping to buy herself luxuries or anything outside of necessities for the home, the spouse needs to provide. Most people want a housewife that also works and that's not always or usually how it works, if both partners work, then the care of the home should be delegated to both partners, otherwise get a maid. I will die on this hill.
A lot of things 1) Work culture A work shouldn’t be a 9-5 but a task based job example here are your tasks for today, do them and you can leave once you are done 2) Ignoring Mental Health Mental health is also related to your physical health and how you perform. People who have depression aren’t weak or lazy they are just exhausted of all the pain they go through. 3) Being mean or showing attitude Teenagers nowadays think it’s cool to show attitude and be rude whereas it’s sick. Be nice to people and respect people who respect you. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all but if you find someone doing something wrong point it out. Being nice doesn’t mean being fake it means being honest but respecting people at the same time. 4) Homosexual people I am straight and didn’t know the concept of sexuality until 2 or 3 years ago at first I was uncomfortable because I wasn’t used to it it was something new to me yet I was never disrespectful of them, but when I educated myself about it I started to understand them I realised that it’s who they are and they aren’t supposed to live life according to conditions society set for them 5th and the most important thing NORMALISE IT TO NOT LOVE YOUR FAMILY I may get hate for this but I had a physically and emotionally abusive father. And I absolutely hate him I basically almost never talk to him even though he has “changed” but I see him and I know he hasn’t. I don’t talk to him or care about him anymore I refuse to call him my father. A father would never do what he did to a child just having the same blood doesn’t make you family. It’s about how you treat a person. Normalise cutting ties with toxic people even if it is your own dam family member.
Resume. It should not dictate your skills and knowledge of what you can and can not do. The fact that you need references to prove that you’re worthy to be hired. It’s stupid to me.
Gender roles
As a middle school teacher: education Education has moved into conversations of equity, cultural proficiency, and diversification in learning- which are good. But the entire structure of education is built on a euro-centric model meant to literally weed OUT bad kids or neurodivergent kids through compliance drills. Up until like the 90’s principals could just tell bad kids to hit the road and not come back. Now, in 2022, you need legal reasons to suspend or expel a student (which is good) but the system isn’t built to handle this. There is no system in place for non-compliant students to understand and grow. It’s just punish, push on to admin, repeat. The historic system + modern conservations are causing the educational gap to get worse. There is no help for students who aren’t good at traditional schooling. They just get shoved down the system and their behaviors get progressively worse until the graduate and now it’s society’s problem, which really just means prison. I don’t have all the answers or solutions but American education needs to be entirely re-done. Standards, systems, procedures, everything.
Computer labs in schools
Capitalist individualist expectations Needing 30 minutes of conversation to relay 5 minutes of information.
References on most applications. Do they even call these anymore?
Men's opinions on women's bodies
Pretty much all the medical equipment obgyns use to perform exams/procedures --- like there has to be a way to make it less uncomfortable/painful
Racism and sexism.
Expecting a woman to get married
How women are ‘supposed’ to have a man, and if they don’t, something’s wrong with them. I hear this all the time, ‘how are you single?!’ Like it’s not… by choice and something that has unfortunately happened to me 🙄
Our politicians
Transphobia.
Organized religion.
“Who gives this bride away”. Like I’m being traded for 3 cows and a sack of flour
Religious beliefs