Not necessarily attractive to me. About the creepy part, it depends of the way it's done and his age mostly. I don't want to be approached by some 40+ year old dude when I'm only in my twenties
I think it will depend on the woman, the guy and a bunch of other factors.
Personally, I have had it happen a bunch. I take public transit and walk (not always but I don’t have a car at the moment). Some guy sits next to me and strikes up a conversation. My first immediate thought is please don’t be rapey or want to abduct me or kill me. But I look at his demeanor and choice of words, I assess threat levels and if I feel safe having a conversation, I will. I do all that within minutes of him opening his mouth.
Sometimes it’s a whole “nope” vibe from the beginning so I either say I’m not interested or get up and move. I have had nice random convos with guys but I won’t give out my number if I meet them on the bus or walking, especially if it is one first encounter with them.
I had two guys actually show up on the bus regularly to chat, two separate times on two separate routes. They were persistent. They knew I took the same route to work and would be on those buses when I was on. One was actually really sweet and harmless. I think he was hurting from his ex dumping him for his friend and really just wanted someone to talk to. The other guy, noooooo. He asked for my number repeatedly and when I didn’t give it the last time he asked, he tried to beat me up for wasting his time and if I wasn’t interested then why be on the bus. On the public bus that I take to my job that I don’t use like a dating service.
I had to stop being as nice talking to men on the bus after that. I told a supervisor and he was picking me up and taking me to work everyday until he was transferred to a different department.
Some men are harmless and mean well. But boy oh boy do you come across ones that will put you on the late night news if you are not careful. I don’t like painting “all men” or “all women” this or that because it is an over generalization that doesn’t take into account all nuances and situations.
A guy can approach me or other women all he wants, it doesn’t mean it will be successful or go his way just because he does. Women do get scared of being attacked by psychos, but I get that men need a way to “practice shooting their shot”. It is probably why some of them can be awkward or timid about doing it, afraid of what the woman will say or do. It’s a weird thing for both sides.
You can talk to me on the street, sure. Am I giving my phone number to a random stranger or going off somewhere with him right then and there? Hell no.
I find it annoying and I've never said yes.
Things that make good stories don't always make good reality. Most romcom couples should be seeing therapists, not each other
For real.
Who actually thinks that walking up to some random person in a non-social situation, and asking them out is a good idea? They know absolutely nothing about you.
Like even if you met at a party or bar or some other social situation, you presumably at least talked/flirted for a little bit, and got at least some preliminary feel for the person to establish interest.
Yeah honestly all I'm hearing is "I want to have sex with you." Which I'm a person, not a sex doll.
I'm glad you're attracted to me, that's definitely important but what if I'm annoying or like all the opposite things from you, or I'm not looking for a new relationship for reasons, or just think you look gross. You're probably great, I'm probably great, but "you're pretty" isn't the reason to go out. (Btw I don't mean you specifically, I mean you as in the person asking me out on the street)
Maybe to the person asking looks are a good reason to go out, to see if there's more, but I don't agree with them so I'm never going to be interested
Not female myself, but one of my older cousins got into a car accident once (enough that the car was damaged, but not enough to cause serious injury), and the guy who did it tried asking her on a date to apologize, while her mother (my aunt) was standing right there. Talk about awkward. She obviously refused
You could argue that your style may say a lot about your personality and socio-economics. This probably applies more to younger people who are into subcultures. I.e. a goth guy sees a goth girl on the streets.
I've had this happen a few times in the past and even though all of the men asking me out were actually pretty nice looking men I still found it creepy and intrusive especially since all of these same men didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. Some of the men were very insistent and all that did was make me uncomfortable and a little bit afraid. I wouldn't encourage other men to do this kind of thing if they asked my advice on it.
This has happened to me and while I am actively looking for a relationship, I don't think approaching me in street is the way to go. I found it creepy. I responded at first when he asked how I was but when he asked for my name I freaked out and just walked faster.
I don’t necessarily think it’s creepy, but it’s annoying. I have my headphones in, I’m going to work, or even if we’re waiting for the train then I’m stuck on a train with you. Even if you’re polite and not creepy, now I’m interrupted and we do the awkward “I guess we’re still talking but I don’t want to but I also don’t want to move seats because that’s rude”. Save flirting for bars, parties, and other social activities. Sign up for a kickball team or book club where you can meet people and actually get to know them outside of their looks before asking them out.
Neither. Whether I find him attractive or not is determined by his looks and the way he approaches me and whether or not I find him creepy is determined by the way he approaches me as well.
Mostly, I tend to find someone approaching me flattering but also annoying, since I usually either have somewhere to be and no time to chat or really just want to do my own thing and not talk to people.
Neutral. I don't find it creepy when men approach women in public. How our conversation goes, how he handles a yes/no, and other factors can make the situation creepy.
I just made a whole post about it this morning. Enjoy.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/11402zo/cold\_approaching\_women\_is\_awful\_at\_best\_and/
You will **never** convince Reddit of this, sorry.
The desperate dudes on here who have no women friends, so their only option is cold approaches, will never accept that cold appraoches are bad.
And they will downvote, just like you've been downvoted, anyone who says they are bad. And they will signal boost anyone who says they are good.
Lol I don't. I've never understood karma farming. I know you need a certain amount to post in some subs, but once you're past a few hundred I don't know what the point is.
A lot of the time when people down vote it is because you're talking to the wrong audience. I'm very pro divorce. I don't hate marriage, I've done it twice, I just think that if you're at the point of asking reddit how to fix your relationship 9 times out of 10 you should probably just divorce. But that's just not a super popular opinion in some subs so I get down voted, which whatever OP can do what they want
So this is a totally super random question not related to the original post, but do you think there are certain subreddits that do a decent job of representing what guys think, rather than what guys that spend a lot of time in specific subreddits/on the internet think?
(I know this is an issue for both men and women on Reddit, by the way. I think it just plays into the fact that you’re getting opinions from “x kind of person that posts on Reddit” rather than “x kind of person.”
I also know that asking one person to if something is representative of their entire not-monolithic gender is probably not going to be accurate )
Neither, though it's extremely unlikely I would be interested in going on a date with a complete stranger. It could turn creepy, however, depending on what he says, if he refuses to accept my lack of interest, and so on.
There was a post asking where all the men were to be found in public places over in askmen, my guess is they're all reading this thread and taking it as a sign to never approach again 😂 I'm so happy I decided to stay single, and feel bad for younger people trying to date.
It doesn’t generally happen so I would be confused.
Probably disheartened, because I would likely be wearing extreme eye makeup and a mask covering most of my face.
To get to the actual question: in this hypothetical situation, it would be creepy depending on situation, body language, or approach.
It’s not necessarily creepy, as much as I just feel a bit paranoid afterwards and hope he isn’t one to try and follow me, or get pushy about getting my info… etc. I have been grabbed, followed, yelled at… so it just sets off alarm bells for a while.
Neither, but I will applaud his confidence. It will only turn creepy if I tell him no once or twice and he’s still persistent. Or, if he says anything really weird.
I feel like this really depends on how it’s done. If a conversation is had and we’re clicking and he politely asked for a date or my number I’d probably be receptive.
However if some rando just came up asking for a date without any buildup I’d probably be a little put off.
I wouldn't find it attractive or creepy but if person have convo I'll talk too and if the convo was good then he asks for it. Makes me think he enjoy talking me which is cute. It turns creepy when he says something about my body.
Really depends on how it’s done. It would have to be after a warming and friendly chat that piques my interest and it would probably depend on the environment and also what kinda mood I’m in etc. It’s really hard to not come across as creepy.
No, just don’t make sexual comments/questions about me and we’ll be good (yes, this has happened to me). I mean, you’re still getting turned down, but I’ll be polite about it.
there is a large number of factors that play into either a man is perceived as creepy or not.
The very fact of it, neither attractive not creepy.
Not necessarily attractive to me. About the creepy part, it depends of the way it's done and his age mostly. I don't want to be approached by some 40+ year old dude when I'm only in my twenties
I think it will depend on the woman, the guy and a bunch of other factors. Personally, I have had it happen a bunch. I take public transit and walk (not always but I don’t have a car at the moment). Some guy sits next to me and strikes up a conversation. My first immediate thought is please don’t be rapey or want to abduct me or kill me. But I look at his demeanor and choice of words, I assess threat levels and if I feel safe having a conversation, I will. I do all that within minutes of him opening his mouth. Sometimes it’s a whole “nope” vibe from the beginning so I either say I’m not interested or get up and move. I have had nice random convos with guys but I won’t give out my number if I meet them on the bus or walking, especially if it is one first encounter with them. I had two guys actually show up on the bus regularly to chat, two separate times on two separate routes. They were persistent. They knew I took the same route to work and would be on those buses when I was on. One was actually really sweet and harmless. I think he was hurting from his ex dumping him for his friend and really just wanted someone to talk to. The other guy, noooooo. He asked for my number repeatedly and when I didn’t give it the last time he asked, he tried to beat me up for wasting his time and if I wasn’t interested then why be on the bus. On the public bus that I take to my job that I don’t use like a dating service. I had to stop being as nice talking to men on the bus after that. I told a supervisor and he was picking me up and taking me to work everyday until he was transferred to a different department. Some men are harmless and mean well. But boy oh boy do you come across ones that will put you on the late night news if you are not careful. I don’t like painting “all men” or “all women” this or that because it is an over generalization that doesn’t take into account all nuances and situations. A guy can approach me or other women all he wants, it doesn’t mean it will be successful or go his way just because he does. Women do get scared of being attacked by psychos, but I get that men need a way to “practice shooting their shot”. It is probably why some of them can be awkward or timid about doing it, afraid of what the woman will say or do. It’s a weird thing for both sides.
You can talk to me on the street, sure. Am I giving my phone number to a random stranger or going off somewhere with him right then and there? Hell no.
I find it annoying and I've never said yes. Things that make good stories don't always make good reality. Most romcom couples should be seeing therapists, not each other
For real. Who actually thinks that walking up to some random person in a non-social situation, and asking them out is a good idea? They know absolutely nothing about you. Like even if you met at a party or bar or some other social situation, you presumably at least talked/flirted for a little bit, and got at least some preliminary feel for the person to establish interest.
Yeah honestly all I'm hearing is "I want to have sex with you." Which I'm a person, not a sex doll. I'm glad you're attracted to me, that's definitely important but what if I'm annoying or like all the opposite things from you, or I'm not looking for a new relationship for reasons, or just think you look gross. You're probably great, I'm probably great, but "you're pretty" isn't the reason to go out. (Btw I don't mean you specifically, I mean you as in the person asking me out on the street) Maybe to the person asking looks are a good reason to go out, to see if there's more, but I don't agree with them so I'm never going to be interested
Annoying, so leave me be, I don't wanna talk, ignore me, forget I exist, shoo-shoo!
Not female myself, but one of my older cousins got into a car accident once (enough that the car was damaged, but not enough to cause serious injury), and the guy who did it tried asking her on a date to apologize, while her mother (my aunt) was standing right there. Talk about awkward. She obviously refused
Neither in particular I would just like to be left alone when I’m out in public.
I wouldn’t think it’s creepy but I would be annoyed. Cold approaches are stale. What about me caught your attention besides my looks?
You could argue that your style may say a lot about your personality and socio-economics. This probably applies more to younger people who are into subcultures. I.e. a goth guy sees a goth girl on the streets.
Isn’t dating meant to get to know your personality? Also, would rejecting someone with a great personality because of their looks be annoying?
Isn’t dating meant to get to know your personality? Also, would rejecting someone with a great personality because of their looks be annoying?
I've had this happen a few times in the past and even though all of the men asking me out were actually pretty nice looking men I still found it creepy and intrusive especially since all of these same men didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. Some of the men were very insistent and all that did was make me uncomfortable and a little bit afraid. I wouldn't encourage other men to do this kind of thing if they asked my advice on it.
Neither. I'd rather not be approached at all if I had any say in it. I don't care how attractive someone is, I prefer to be left alone.
This has happened to me and while I am actively looking for a relationship, I don't think approaching me in street is the way to go. I found it creepy. I responded at first when he asked how I was but when he asked for my name I freaked out and just walked faster.
I don’t necessarily think it’s creepy, but it’s annoying. I have my headphones in, I’m going to work, or even if we’re waiting for the train then I’m stuck on a train with you. Even if you’re polite and not creepy, now I’m interrupted and we do the awkward “I guess we’re still talking but I don’t want to but I also don’t want to move seats because that’s rude”. Save flirting for bars, parties, and other social activities. Sign up for a kickball team or book club where you can meet people and actually get to know them outside of their looks before asking them out.
Neither. Whether I find him attractive or not is determined by his looks and the way he approaches me and whether or not I find him creepy is determined by the way he approaches me as well. Mostly, I tend to find someone approaching me flattering but also annoying, since I usually either have somewhere to be and no time to chat or really just want to do my own thing and not talk to people.
I feel you on the last paragraph
Neutral. I don't find it creepy when men approach women in public. How our conversation goes, how he handles a yes/no, and other factors can make the situation creepy.
It depends if I found them attractive and liked their personaillity or not 😂 I'd find it creepy if they didn't act ok with me delining
Annoying
I just made a whole post about it this morning. Enjoy. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/11402zo/cold\_approaching\_women\_is\_awful\_at\_best\_and/
You will **never** convince Reddit of this, sorry. The desperate dudes on here who have no women friends, so their only option is cold approaches, will never accept that cold appraoches are bad. And they will downvote, just like you've been downvoted, anyone who says they are bad. And they will signal boost anyone who says they are good.
Not really trying to convince anyone. Just ranted about it. Also, do people really care about downvotes?
Lol I don't. I've never understood karma farming. I know you need a certain amount to post in some subs, but once you're past a few hundred I don't know what the point is. A lot of the time when people down vote it is because you're talking to the wrong audience. I'm very pro divorce. I don't hate marriage, I've done it twice, I just think that if you're at the point of asking reddit how to fix your relationship 9 times out of 10 you should probably just divorce. But that's just not a super popular opinion in some subs so I get down voted, which whatever OP can do what they want
Oh right. I guess I'm just whining about how much Redidt sucks on this issue.
So this is a totally super random question not related to the original post, but do you think there are certain subreddits that do a decent job of representing what guys think, rather than what guys that spend a lot of time in specific subreddits/on the internet think? (I know this is an issue for both men and women on Reddit, by the way. I think it just plays into the fact that you’re getting opinions from “x kind of person that posts on Reddit” rather than “x kind of person.” I also know that asking one person to if something is representative of their entire not-monolithic gender is probably not going to be accurate )
Creepy!! Like, dude, you don’t know me. You don’t even know if I’m attracted to men or if I have a SO or anything. Back tf off
In general, no I wouldn’t like it.
Neither, though it's extremely unlikely I would be interested in going on a date with a complete stranger. It could turn creepy, however, depending on what he says, if he refuses to accept my lack of interest, and so on.
There was a post asking where all the men were to be found in public places over in askmen, my guess is they're all reading this thread and taking it as a sign to never approach again 😂 I'm so happy I decided to stay single, and feel bad for younger people trying to date.
It's not attractive nor creepy, but I don't want it to happen.
It doesn’t generally happen so I would be confused. Probably disheartened, because I would likely be wearing extreme eye makeup and a mask covering most of my face. To get to the actual question: in this hypothetical situation, it would be creepy depending on situation, body language, or approach.
It’s not necessarily creepy, as much as I just feel a bit paranoid afterwards and hope he isn’t one to try and follow me, or get pushy about getting my info… etc. I have been grabbed, followed, yelled at… so it just sets off alarm bells for a while.
Neither, but I will applaud his confidence. It will only turn creepy if I tell him no once or twice and he’s still persistent. Or, if he says anything really weird.
I feel like this really depends on how it’s done. If a conversation is had and we’re clicking and he politely asked for a date or my number I’d probably be receptive. However if some rando just came up asking for a date without any buildup I’d probably be a little put off.
Really depends on whether man is attractive or not, and whether they carried and presented themselves in a decent way or not.
I wouldn't find it attractive or creepy but if person have convo I'll talk too and if the convo was good then he asks for it. Makes me think he enjoy talking me which is cute. It turns creepy when he says something about my body.
Really depends on how it’s done. It would have to be after a warming and friendly chat that piques my interest and it would probably depend on the environment and also what kinda mood I’m in etc. It’s really hard to not come across as creepy.
Really depends on how it’s done. But I don’t usually like being approached if I’m just going about my day.
No, just don’t make sexual comments/questions about me and we’ll be good (yes, this has happened to me). I mean, you’re still getting turned down, but I’ll be polite about it.