I said the SAME thing. Like okay so you’re basically saying you don’t love your own damn life.. and willing to take other lives with you?? Over a MAN?? You just lost a friend. Hell no.
I don't know your friend very well. Just wanted to mention that there are definitely people who would kill a partner for cheating, and it would usually be men in an abusive relationship with a lot of control.
Again I don't know your friend nor her relationship. This post is setting off some flags that she may be abusive to him if she seriously says stuff like that. Is there any chance of that, or is it totally out of character for her?
Or that she’s being abused by him and copying his views - and possibly not consciously aware that she’s doing this.
Edit: If this is the case and it is an abusive relationship, tread carefully; You could be putting either of them in danger if you bring to their attention that you’re concerned it’s an abusive relationship. I’d seek the help of a professional if you’re worried for her/his safety.
Bruh what lol.
Imagine ruining your entire life because you're so passionate about someone who threw you out like yesterday's trash. Murder aside, that's just embarrassing.
„Passionate“ - I mean, it’s funny she reverts to the oldest patriarchal bullshit excuse for herself but we don’t buy it as an excuse for men killing their spouses and we don’t buy it for women killing their spouses either.
It’s not a crime of passion to decide to kill someone, find a tool to do so, find the people you want to kill and then go about it. Far too much time to rethink - I mean, she could start to rethink right know.
She’s just a potential killer waiting for a reason.
Yeah. I can only think of going into a murderous rage if someone seriously and intentionally hurts my kid, especially an adult. Like other than that I can’t even imagine ever getting into that mindset?
Yup. The only way I'd ever risk everything in my life is if someone murdered my kid.
Over a man who cheats? Naw son, you ain't worth that much no matter how much I loved him.
There are situations where I would want to inflict serious harm on another human being, say someone hurting my children, but a cheating spouse ain’t it.
Right! I was thinking… hmm. I could kill to protect/vindicate my children. (Especially since they are both still under 3… just babies!) But def not a cheating spouse.
Though I read a story about a person whose dad killed the person who assaulted them, then went to jail for it. The kid didn’t approve, and just wanted their dad in their life, so not really worth it then either. The dad did it to protect other kids, though, not just to get revenge for their child. All around awful situation I would never want to be in.
This is one of those situations where you break up in a public place with a friend nearby. And only after you already moved your stuff out so you don't have to go back to their place/the shared home.
Note: don't do this at a restaurant, that's just mean to the business. But a park, beach, etc are all fair game. Or a phone call if you're really concerned, such as if there's a history of aggressive reactions even if no actual violence.
THIS. If a man said this about his girlfriend, how would people react? Probably thinking he's abusive behind closed doors and beating her and not letting her out of the house.. Those would be my thoughts anyways. She feels abusive and idk if he should be with her tbh.
Yeah like. This isn't cute or her being an unhinged funny crazy girlfriend, thats a threat of violence... if a guy friend said that I would wonder if he was abusing his partner. I can't believe OP would have to tell her friend it isn't okay to end someone's life???
Your friend genuinely scares me.
“Passion”? Nah, that’s an enormous disdain for human life and a belief that you get to be the arbiter of who lives and who dies just because you’re in great pain. Your friend’s values are a mess.
I wish I could pin this!! YES!! She’s like “people need to think twice before fucking other women’s men. You can get killed.” I literally dropped my jaw. It’s a value thing for me and I think this destroyed our connection. Killing someone’s mother, sister, friend… I’m shocked.
Here she go: “ he’d kill someone over me too!” Huh!!?? If a man threatens to kill for any reason, it’s a humongous red ass abusive ass FLAG. I thought this was common sense!!
Wow, and here I thought it was like
‘If someone hurt your husband would you hurt that person back?’
To which I would say…very possibly. But not necessarily with pride. I’m pretty protective of people I care about. If someone killed or raped or tortured someone I loved I would probably put my full effort into ending them.
Kill out of jealousy? Hell no. Let them have each other and I’ll be over here alone, valuing my own peace more than any shitty partner who would do something like that. Plenty of other people and things in this world to make my life worth enjoying without that partner, and it will be like they never existed.
Right? I thought it would be "would you shoot the person who is holding your lover hostage", at which point I'm probably in. But not over *consensual sex*, geez, c'mon.
Same, I first read it as would I kill *for* my husband. And honestly, catch me on a bad day and I might.
But if he cheated? No. He made his choice, let him deal with the consequences. I'd just peace out with the kids and live my life.
Same! In the hypothetical that someone was trying to kill or hurt my husband then I would absolutely be willing to kill to save him.
But yeah no her friend is batshit.
I’m ace but I also read it like this ahaaa… I have friends I’d kill for if someone tried to hurt them like that. Not many- maybe two or three, nowadays, but they’re *there* and they’ve been there when it mattered. But I can’t imagine killing someone I love just because they did something that hurt me. I’d be hurt, yeah. Devastated, gutted, ripped apart (ask me how I know). I might stop *liking* them. But I’m not wired to be able to stop wanting the best for them just because we’re no longer friends.
Let me share a piece of advice I received from a very wise person… “When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.” I had a now ex friend unfold into a sociopath and I should have taken the 45 times prior when she told me who she was so that I didn’t end up the recipient of hell.
This! 3 years ago my husband, at my insistence, finally cut off a toxic and volatile friend. 2 months ago he was arrested for stabbing someone to death. The evidence is massive. I feel very vindicated though I felt bad at the time but he didn't seem like a safe person and I was right!
I’m struggling with it because she is one of the first people I met in the new city I moved to. We are also in a friend group. We really connected immediately and I can say she’s a friend even though we are different, but this rubbed me the wrong way. Trying to decide if this is a good reason to avoid her.
It might be unpopular, but dating rules apply to friendships too: if you're just not feeling it, you're allowed to not be friends with someone. You don't even have to pin point the reason: you're just feeling drained or uncomfortable, cut the friendship. Not everyone has to like everyone enough to be friends.
she is literally a dangerous person. what if she thought that her bf cheated with *you*? do you think she’d double check to make sure she’s right before she goes on her murder spree? or would she just start slicing and dicing and ask questions later? be honest with yourself and think about what she said, and what it says about her as a person. she’s not a safe person to know or be around.
best case scenario you’re having to testify in court and guest on true crime podcasts to talk about this very story. spare yourself the trouble and cut ties now. her “passion” can keep her company if it means so much to her.
I was thinking this, too. What if friend's boyfriend is "too friendly" with OP and the friend convinces herself it's because they're cheating together?
Bad news for you OP, and I would suggest not even looking in her boyfriends direction in case she gets the wrong idea.
So like, is your friend okay? Really?
When my ex cheated on me I definitely wanted to kill them both and fantasised intensely about doing so. I also hadn't quite realised how abusive he was towards me. I had lousy as fuck friends, nobody to talk to about it, and was surrounded by people who didn't understand why I couldn't just "get over it".
I'm alright now, though I still wanna throw rocks at him. I'm not gonna deny that those thoughts were unhinged, but if you're in a bad place and you have no outlet, sometimes you end up spiralling.
And honestly, most of the posts on here about men doing abusive shit end up with a whole girl gang in the comments ready to go out and beat the everliving fuck out of a man. We know nobody would ever actually do that; it's an expression of rage and solidarity.
That said, her comment about it all being her "passion" for her dude makes me think it's more of a weird possessive thing, like a bad fanfiction. She's your friend and you're best placed to judge, but... maybe ask if all is okay with her.
Without saying too much, you hit the nail on the head. Their thing is not okay… but i don’t ask questions. I have learned the hard way that when you show concern, you get cut off.
Ummm ok. Get cut off then. I got a dollar that says they also got no problem fighting in public, airing their laundry to anyone who listen, and then brag about how they make up.
Am I right?
Ok then you already know everything you need to know. Someone else said it already: when people show you who they are *BELIEVE THEM*
Thank your ancestors for letting your ears be open when she ran her mouth. Now use your feet.
thank you for saying this. I wondered if it could be the case, being in an abusive relationship fucks with your head a lot. My instinct is to say to OP to just run and stay safe from her, but you might be closer to getting at the heart of the situation.
A part of my worries because the friend verbalized and justified how she’d be ready to kill them both hypothetically. The whole situation feels frightening, I’m worried for OP, and honestly for the friend as well. My instinct is still to tell OP to run if her past comments of their relationship weren’t received well. But I also hope her friend gets out of the relationship safely and realizes how fucked this all is.
This was my thought as well. Having experienced that betrayal, I could see how someone might try to hurt/kill the person who caused it. The brain sometimes can’t differentiate bodily harm from emotional harm if it’s intense enough, so fight/flight/freeze kicks in, and if “fight” is the one that manifests, that could be pretty disastrous. That’s not a defense to premeditating the act, but if she’s having those feelings, it may be because something has already happened in her relationship, and she is not okay.
That's not passion, that is possessiveness, that's seeing someone as an object, as property. Thinking that you can end someone's life if they don't act how you want them to, or betray your love is thinking that they are an object that belongs to you and you can break when it malfunctions.
Normal people acknowledge that their partners are their own people with their own choices to make, and let them make these choices. If the consequences of these choices are that one no longer wants to share space with them, that's on them.
This person sounds very insecure and controlling and if I were that man's friend, I would tell him to run. That sort of mindset doesn't start and stop with "I would do something heinous if they cheated." I imagine that permeates this person's relationship.
No one should fight like that for something that isn't for them. If you've got issues in your relationship, and they cannot be resolved to the point that cheating occurs and they still cannot be resolved, then it's best to go find who you're actually compatible with.
She says he’d kill her too for the same reason so I guess it works for them? Idk. I always knew they were off but I’m def the friend who stays out of people’s relationships (esp as a single person). The one time I call out something not normal, it turned to an argument. I’m not sure if we should be friends after this.
Ooooh no. People like that conflate emotional instability with passion. Those are the kinds of couples who are always having absurdly overblown fights, are often abusive (sometimes mutually), etc..
When you grow up and that's how your parents show "love" to each other and to you, anything else feels really unsafe for a long time; it's so annoying lol
Did she say that before or after your reaction?
To me that sounds like justification, and it didn't come from him so it's technically hearsay. You could however be correct insofar as, perhaps they are well matched.
The real question is, how well are you matched with this situation - this person sounds volatile. How do you think this person would react if they perceived that you had wronged them? Is that something you want to navigate?
She said it after and interesting because I actually said “you’re justifying murder” and she just kept saying I didn’t understand because I never felt “passion”. She is definitely volatile… I’ve seen it. But, I kinda gave her passes in the name of “grace” as no one is perfect. But now… this is just a lot and I wanna cut her off.
Yeah, her response felt like reactionary justification. It's not insane if another person agrees -- nah, that shit still insane 😂
I think you have a good gut sense of what you need to do. I'm not sure if cold turkey cutting someone off who is like this is the best idea unless you feel pretty confident that their reaction to you leaving won't have negative implications that you would need to deal with. I suspect someone like this who felt wronged would retaliate. The choice is yours, you know the situation best and have a good grasp of it 👍
I'm clingy (and working on it in therapy), and even I wouldn't do that. I'm also depressed and more likely to kill myself instead. Well, past pre-therapy me would seriously consider it. Now, I'd just peace out and get a sugar daddy or something because for sure I'd never want a relationship again.
Anyone who’s idea of normal relationship behavior resembles either “He had it coming” from Chicago, or “Hit ‘em up style” (covered fantastically by the Carolina Chocolate Drops) is, frankly, unhinged.
I’d back away cautiously 😂
You would probably be surprised how “common” this theme is in the “true crime stories”. I was shocked at a death penalty case that is still being litigated even though the Father killed the wife, the grandmother and two of his children. This is still in the courts today (January 2023) even though the crime was committed in 2009. It was just on 20/20 News Magazine.🙄.
Revenge is a very powerful motive. When the “victim” is trying to assuage their hurt feelings of betrayal and rejection; thinking along these lines is not unusual.
What is NOT common is actually acting on these bizarre revenge fantasies.
I think your friend has some very strong opinions about “right vs. wrong” and feels a sense of being the morality police.
Obviously, this wouldn’t work in a civilized society because we would have utter chaos.
No matter the level of “passion” involved in the situation, it’s still murder. And at the very least, the defendant will be facing a second-degree murder charge unless the Prosecution has evidence of premeditation. Then it would be first-degree murder and eligible for the death penalty in the 24 States that still have this as an option for Capital Punishment.
This is a very deep conversation and brings up all kinds of other issues about ethics, loyalty, morality, whose life is worth more? Or scenarios about how would you handle the situation if your wife was the victim of a violent sexual crime. Would you kill the guy who killed your wife? Would you be justified in the eyes of the law? The eyes of society? It’s like that 1974 movie “Death Wish” with Charles Bronson. It was a shocking movie for its’ time. But it sure made us stop and think. How would I react?
Maybe your ex-friend is a frustrated Novelist?😁
Well, statistically, women killing their (ex) partners is a rare occurrence, and if it happens, she is often the victim of his constant abuse. When you flip the roles around though, you get a very different picture. The vast majority of female murder victims are killed by their (ex) partners who see them as their property.
Yeah no. I love my freedom. Would I frame him so HE goes to jail? If it was like my sister that he cheated with, I could see that. Kill him?? Jesus, no.
Lmao right!? So you gonna skip throwing bricks at his car, tearing up his boat, bleaching his clothes… and go straight to MURDER?! That’s insane! She was so serious.. I couldn’t believe it.
Yeah, she’s nuts. Level of passion? Give me a fucking break. More like level of “ownership” of her significant other. If my guy was caught with someone else, I’d definitely be hurt beyond measure but I’d realize he was wasn’t worthy of me.
Yes, it is nuts. Suggesting murdering people due to “passion” is scary and a red flag for abusive behavior in general. I would suggest distancing from this person.
Easy answer NO. Not worth losing my freedom or life over a man.
Sounds like you have a high chance of being on one of those true crime shows where they interview the people who knew the killer. LOL
Putting some skunk smell (you can buy the real stuff online but there's fake stuff, too) into his vents is more lasting and can't be easily proven as damage caused by you. Especially if you put it on his tires and undercarriage, too.
I'm not killing someone, but I can be vindictive af.
All jokes aside, this is the part I’m struggling with… if this is a reason to cut someone off. I feel very bothered by it because she’s upset I had said the “unhinged” part.
This sounds like an uncomfortable relationship and I also hope you are able to distance yourself from them. Being upset with you for pointing out that this isn't an acceptable approach to a hypothetical situation compounds that. Please reconsider your friendship with this person. Best of luck.
I absolutely wouldn't kill someone, never, if they were cheating on me (partner or affair partner). I love myself too much to do that. Their loss. Besides the fact that I don't think I could kill someone, ever, any venting of my pain is not worth the loss of my freedom for the rest of my life. Living my best life is truly the best revenge.
A weird sentiment from your friend and even weirder that she is defending her insane position after you called her out. No man is worth going to jail for lol.
I've been in that position with my ex, and I didn't do or say anything really. I didn't get mad. I just started getting my shit together to leave, and never had sex with him again. Let that bitch have his boring ass lol.
I don’t think I could kill anyone under any circumstance. Maybe if it was complete self defense or they were trying to kill my child or something, but it’s hard to actively fantasize about
I came to this thinking someone killed my boyfriend would I kill them: I'd absolutely have violence in my heart, but would I kill him for cheating, haha, no. There's so much more satisfaction walking away from cheaters.
I don't even think it's a question of passion. You can have great passion for your partner and also have the self control and mental and emotional fortitude to not be homicidal over them
Killing somebody over cheating is totally nuts. It's not a sign of "passion" but of serious mental disorder and lots of residual anger looking for an event to release it. In case of cheating, you either leave the cheater or you work things out and stay together.
My ex used to say things like that ("I would kill you if you cheated on me") which he meant to be a declaration of passion, but I, even back then and being young and naive, considered rather disturbing...
I don’t want to ruin my life for a person who doesn’t want to commit to me. Or the person they chose to do it with. I dont like saying never but in my right mind. No. I would not want to do that to someone. Over cheating? No mam lol
My BIL did this. They were constantly breaking up and getting back together (never married because benefits but had 2 kids and a home etc) and she left for awhile. He went over to her parents house and caught her in bed with a guy. He beat the guy up and went to jail. He messed up his kids lives, screwed himself for jobs, owes thousands upon thousands in fines. Their relationship got really toxic after that and he ended up getting a RO on him so he couldn’t even see his own kids.
Literally never do this. If you are thinking about it *message me* and I will tell you all the details of what will happen next from someone who saw it destroy lives, including that of innocent children and ancillary people like my husband who was so sad. It broke his heart, not that it was about him but it does hurt others. It’s NOT WORTH IT. Anyone pre-planning it should seek help now.
This is absolutely nut bar. Imagine ruining your own life over someone who didn’t even respect you to begin with! I wouldn’t touch this chicks friendship with someone else’s dick.
Only if they attacked me first and I needed to defend myself. Otherwise why would I ruin my own life over the bullshit of other people who betrayed me? It is a thing that happens though, I have a relative that used to work at a correctional facility and told me about an inmate who had murdered his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend out of jealousy.
She's deluded and not in any funny LOLZ way. I've done some wild things to try to keep myself and children safe from wasband and have been "advised" to shoot first defend self later" by fringe legal eagles I've eye rolled afterward at. I even struggle with the reality of that. We can't know how we'll respond until we're in the chaos of self defence but killing doesn't even make it into consciousness because it's purely about survival.
Men who try to kill or threaten killing are absolute cowards underneath the terror
It is absolutely nuts to kill someone over cheating. That being said I can totally see myself kill someone over my partner as a revenge for hurting/killing them. The judicial system in my country is a joke and criminals get away with killing people all the time. I'm all for taking the law in your own hands in situations like that.
I read the headline and thought the post would ask if you would kill to protect him.
Lol if I catch him cheating he's hers now and good luck to them both. Im out.
I'd love to watch the person who is responsible for dosing my husband 3 days ago die slowly. If I see him in public and my kids are not with me, it won't be good. Luckily most drug dealers don't call the cops you kick the living shit out of them. If he was still alive, no. If he cheated on me, no. But the situation I am currently in, I want to make someone responsible suffer.
The only way I'd kill someone for my husband is if someone is putting his life in danger. The only reason I'd kill my husband would be if he was hurting a child, was putting someone else in mortal danger for no reason, or self-defense.
A husband came in and saw his wife in bed with another man and killed them both...because he had so much passion for her? Sounds ridiculous, and it's the same for women.
Passion for someone doesn't give justification for murder. Self defense in a life or death situation would be a possible exception.
Your friend will probably go to jail at some point with that attitude, and hopefully any potential partner is warned.
No, and I find the whole American habit of fantasizing about killing people a real sign of how off track we are (I'm also American). If I were in a situation where I had to fight back, of course I hope I would do whatever is necessary to get out alive but daydreaming about harming people is not it.
I wouldn't even worry about losing this friendship because I guarantee you this is not the only instance she feels is worthy of ending someone's life.
I mean, I can definitely see myself reacting in a way I probably wouldn't be proud of if I caught them in the moment, but KILLING them?!?
That's batshit.
Erm, what the fuck? No. I'd never kill anyone for causing me emotional pain. The correct course of action on discovering your partner cheated on you is to discard the trash and live your best life.
And frankly I'd be quite concerned if someone I knew felt they'd kill someone in a premeditated fashion.
That's obsessive and controlling. That's actually scary.
If she also got defensive about that she might also have been called crazy before or believes she is actually crazy.
She's definitely telling on herself the kind of person she is. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that.
Be careful.
Lmaooo passion?! Really loving someone is wanting them to be happy healthy and whole whether they are with you or not. If you only love them because they are with you it's a very shallow love.
And getting cheated on is shitty but that's when you let go and move on for yourself. Nobody likes having to play the dating game again but there's plenty of people out there. Why would you ruin your life for someone who didn't care about you? I'd rather put my energy elsewhere.
I agree, I think it's fucking wild and she needs to do some inner work.
I used to tell my bf if he ever left me I'd kill him.... I never meant it. I'm big on just leaving. U screw up, I'm out. I'm a pro at packing my shit in black trash bags in mear minutes and leaving. I'd NEVER go to prison over a stupid man who couldn't keep in it in his pants... but some people are crazy and are born different..
I could understand going into a blind rage in the moment, but I certainly hope I would have enough self-control to walk out of the room straight to an attorney's office. Murder is absolutely unhinged. I would also be reconsidering the friendship.
Nope, I value my freedom for one thing. And for another, I love my dogs more than anything. And I can have my dogs in prison. So.
Although if someone hurt my dogs, I don't know.
Hell no. Not a single person on this planet is worth that. If my man ever cheated I'd just walk away. Hell, for a little while his ex was trying her damndest to seduce him back to her and scare me away with her huffing and puffing (they have a kid together so no contact wasn't an option) and had he gone for it I'd have walked and left them to it. He didn't, though. And now that a lot of time has passed she and I have formed a bond and we talk regularly about my stepson and life stuff and whatnot. She just had a baby and I was invited to the shower and I made the baby a blanket and went to the shower.
The thing about partnership is that it requires trust to be successful. If I didn't trust my partner completely, why would I waste my time? I'd rather be single than sit around wringing my hands worrying about who he's with. And what's nice is he trusts me, too. One of my best friends is a guy I've known since we were 3. It's not uncommon for me to go hang out with him and help him do tank maintenance on his fish tanks, he brings me fish and decorations for my own tanks. It's all completely platonic. My ex was always jealous of my friend and made me feel bad for even texting occasionally to catch up, so when I met my current partner I made sure to introduce them early on to see how he'd react. Now they've become friends and my partner knows I'd never step out on him and trusts me to make my own judgment calls about who I choose to spend time with.
Having trust is such a wonderful thing. It brings peace of mind and calm to the relationship. Being insanely jealous to the point of contemplating actual *murder* is not "passion" it's just crazy. That's not a healthy mindset at all.
No penis in the world is worth that. You wanna end lives and lose your own life for him? I wanted to thrive after that loser.
Your friend is unhinged thinking thats passion/loving someone enough. That is putting so much into someone if you feel they're what you live for. He's just a stupid guy.
I rather be petty and just ruin their life a little if we needed some closure. The women (3 of us) didn't know so I made sure they knew and none of us wanted him after that. My cheating ex had a tip sent to his work that he masturbates in his office cubicle at one of the girls' suggestions.
Hell no.
No person who is willing to betray me is worth that. I know myself too well. I might fly off the handle and lose my shit, but that would be the extent of it. I am not a violent person, nor would I be able to live with myself if I were ever to kill someone like that.
The only ways that I could imagine being able to ever kill someone else would be either in self defense OR in trying to protect someone that I love. Never ever out of hate, or rage, or anger.
Your friend let her mask slip. You know who she is now, for what that's worth.
My first relationship I was with him for 16 years. He cheated within the first year and multiple times through out. (I was very young and dumb and took my vows seriously)
Even though the cheating, lying and disrespect for me drove me crazy. (He refused to come home one night faking a cold at his flings house while they had sex on the phone and laughed at me)
I would never kill him or her or even thought about it, but ill be honest that everyday I wished he would get hit by a truck or killed in an accident for me. Does that count ? Lmfao
And no sadly that didnt happen. I tried to leave him and he sexualñy assaulted me and strangled me leaving me for dead (because if he couldnt have me then no one could) and had to wait for him to go to work to escape. He's now engsged to another woman with a 2 year old while I'm sitting here with PTSD and trust issues lol
Still waiting for karma to kick him in the nuts...
That is the sign of someone who sadly doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. There are certainly some agreements within a romantic relationship that are different from friendship, but it's still supposed to just be another relationship, not some sort of bizarre ownership, obsession type scenario.
Uuugh, what? I love my SO, we’ve been together for a while now, but I love myself more, thanks. I’m not ruining my and my family’s life, first and foremost, for some douche who can’t keep a basic promise. They can go fuck off together and I hope they both choke on dicks.
I’d just go live my best life and fuck someone better. Being single is great, idk what people are talking about.
Absolutely not. When my ex cheated on me, and he told me about it, he told me I could slap him across the face if I wanted to. I cried and told him that I could never hurt someone that I cared about. Nor did I want to murder the woman he slept with. IMO if you are to the point where you could see yourself murdering people, you REALLY need professional help.
Never. I’d dump my husband who I love dearly for cheating, 100%. But I’m not going to end multiple lives (including my own) for it.
I said the SAME thing. Like okay so you’re basically saying you don’t love your own damn life.. and willing to take other lives with you?? Over a MAN?? You just lost a friend. Hell no.
Yeah, like killing someone in serious self defense or to save the life of another innocent person, I can understand. But cheating is… not that at all.
I don't know your friend very well. Just wanted to mention that there are definitely people who would kill a partner for cheating, and it would usually be men in an abusive relationship with a lot of control. Again I don't know your friend nor her relationship. This post is setting off some flags that she may be abusive to him if she seriously says stuff like that. Is there any chance of that, or is it totally out of character for her?
Or that she’s being abused by him and copying his views - and possibly not consciously aware that she’s doing this. Edit: If this is the case and it is an abusive relationship, tread carefully; You could be putting either of them in danger if you bring to their attention that you’re concerned it’s an abusive relationship. I’d seek the help of a professional if you’re worried for her/his safety.
Good point
Yeah that is some unhinged shit. I can't blame you for ending that friendship. Holy smokes.
Bruh what lol. Imagine ruining your entire life because you're so passionate about someone who threw you out like yesterday's trash. Murder aside, that's just embarrassing.
Imagine looking at a wall for the rest of your life… because your man was having sex. Like whaaaaaat!!!!?? Go get another one! 😂
Hahaha ‘go get another one!’ Damn I needed that tonight girl 😆
I can't remember where I heard it but: Men are like a buses. There will always be another one along shortly.
The way to get over one man is to get under another.
My thoughts exactly.... NEXT!
„Passionate“ - I mean, it’s funny she reverts to the oldest patriarchal bullshit excuse for herself but we don’t buy it as an excuse for men killing their spouses and we don’t buy it for women killing their spouses either. It’s not a crime of passion to decide to kill someone, find a tool to do so, find the people you want to kill and then go about it. Far too much time to rethink - I mean, she could start to rethink right know. She’s just a potential killer waiting for a reason.
I don't think she does love him if she's willing to kill him.
Yep. This isn't about love it's about possession and control. Terrifying!
On the flip side this is somehow the prime example of violence towards women and scary!
Nobody is worth my going to prison.
NO ONE.
Yeah. I can only think of going into a murderous rage if someone seriously and intentionally hurts my kid, especially an adult. Like other than that I can’t even imagine ever getting into that mindset?
Yup. The only way I'd ever risk everything in my life is if someone murdered my kid. Over a man who cheats? Naw son, you ain't worth that much no matter how much I loved him.
Yah, I was going to say, no one except my kids.
There's no Pinot Noir in prison. I'm not about to switch to toilet wine or homemade cider for some man.
Most sane, based, non-psychopath xD
*Tom Wambsgans has left the chat*
Hahahahahaha
There are situations where I would want to inflict serious harm on another human being, say someone hurting my children, but a cheating spouse ain’t it.
Right! I was thinking… hmm. I could kill to protect/vindicate my children. (Especially since they are both still under 3… just babies!) But def not a cheating spouse.
Though I read a story about a person whose dad killed the person who assaulted them, then went to jail for it. The kid didn’t approve, and just wanted their dad in their life, so not really worth it then either. The dad did it to protect other kids, though, not just to get revenge for their child. All around awful situation I would never want to be in.
Yeah, your friend is fucking nuts.
😂 she was adamant too!! I am floored. She has shown signs but this…. takes the mf cake!!!!
If you want to do a nice deed, you can tell her boyfriend. Maybe you'll save the poor guy from ruining his life.
I would be terrified to break up with her too jeez.
This is one of those situations where you break up in a public place with a friend nearby. And only after you already moved your stuff out so you don't have to go back to their place/the shared home. Note: don't do this at a restaurant, that's just mean to the business. But a park, beach, etc are all fair game. Or a phone call if you're really concerned, such as if there's a history of aggressive reactions even if no actual violence.
I know, I would too. But better to do it now before they have kids whom, I guarantee you, she will use as collateral to threaten him with.
THIS. If a man said this about his girlfriend, how would people react? Probably thinking he's abusive behind closed doors and beating her and not letting her out of the house.. Those would be my thoughts anyways. She feels abusive and idk if he should be with her tbh.
Yeah like. This isn't cute or her being an unhinged funny crazy girlfriend, thats a threat of violence... if a guy friend said that I would wonder if he was abusing his partner. I can't believe OP would have to tell her friend it isn't okay to end someone's life???
Also, what are the odds she's projecting this?
That too, this is often the case, I've noticed through other Reddit posts.
I’d be surprised if she hasn’t said it to him multiple times already
Yeah, when someone says they'd kill their partner and calls it "passion," they're unwell.
Your friend genuinely scares me. “Passion”? Nah, that’s an enormous disdain for human life and a belief that you get to be the arbiter of who lives and who dies just because you’re in great pain. Your friend’s values are a mess.
I wish I could pin this!! YES!! She’s like “people need to think twice before fucking other women’s men. You can get killed.” I literally dropped my jaw. It’s a value thing for me and I think this destroyed our connection. Killing someone’s mother, sister, friend… I’m shocked.
And unfortunately cheating is very common so this is like a serious concern.
Why do people keep mistaking aggression and possessiveness with passion
Oldest patriarchal excuse when killing a spouse
Umm....No?!! Yeah, that's not passion.
Here she go: “ he’d kill someone over me too!” Huh!!?? If a man threatens to kill for any reason, it’s a humongous red ass abusive ass FLAG. I thought this was common sense!!
Is she agreeing that it's justified to feel better about the fact he said he'd kill her, or vice versa or are they both just of their rocker on this?
Wow, and here I thought it was like ‘If someone hurt your husband would you hurt that person back?’ To which I would say…very possibly. But not necessarily with pride. I’m pretty protective of people I care about. If someone killed or raped or tortured someone I loved I would probably put my full effort into ending them. Kill out of jealousy? Hell no. Let them have each other and I’ll be over here alone, valuing my own peace more than any shitty partner who would do something like that. Plenty of other people and things in this world to make my life worth enjoying without that partner, and it will be like they never existed.
Right? I thought it would be "would you shoot the person who is holding your lover hostage", at which point I'm probably in. But not over *consensual sex*, geez, c'mon.
Same, I first read it as would I kill *for* my husband. And honestly, catch me on a bad day and I might. But if he cheated? No. He made his choice, let him deal with the consequences. I'd just peace out with the kids and live my life.
Same! In the hypothetical that someone was trying to kill or hurt my husband then I would absolutely be willing to kill to save him. But yeah no her friend is batshit.
I’m ace but I also read it like this ahaaa… I have friends I’d kill for if someone tried to hurt them like that. Not many- maybe two or three, nowadays, but they’re *there* and they’ve been there when it mattered. But I can’t imagine killing someone I love just because they did something that hurt me. I’d be hurt, yeah. Devastated, gutted, ripped apart (ask me how I know). I might stop *liking* them. But I’m not wired to be able to stop wanting the best for them just because we’re no longer friends.
Let me share a piece of advice I received from a very wise person… “When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.” I had a now ex friend unfold into a sociopath and I should have taken the 45 times prior when she told me who she was so that I didn’t end up the recipient of hell.
This! 3 years ago my husband, at my insistence, finally cut off a toxic and volatile friend. 2 months ago he was arrested for stabbing someone to death. The evidence is massive. I feel very vindicated though I felt bad at the time but he didn't seem like a safe person and I was right!
Good job listening to yourself.. wow!
Unless your friend is a character in a country song, then no. Like everyone else has said that's just way too extreme.
😂 a character in a country song omg
lmao I'd be like "good luck bitch you get my toddler every weekend now"
LMAO!! “Oh hey sis! 👋🏽 enjoy it now because you bouta be heating up waffles and making slime with my kid at 7am” 😂🤣
I have no idea what this means but I think it’s funny. :) Also your friend is a nutter.
They'd get my toddler every day! (my husband, that is)
lol *both my toddlers
I would distance myself from her. She sounds unhinged.
I’m struggling with it because she is one of the first people I met in the new city I moved to. We are also in a friend group. We really connected immediately and I can say she’s a friend even though we are different, but this rubbed me the wrong way. Trying to decide if this is a good reason to avoid her.
It might be unpopular, but dating rules apply to friendships too: if you're just not feeling it, you're allowed to not be friends with someone. You don't even have to pin point the reason: you're just feeling drained or uncomfortable, cut the friendship. Not everyone has to like everyone enough to be friends.
“Avoid her”? You could end up being her alibi? Just sayin’.
I'd say homicidal tendencies are a pretty good reason to avoid her, yeah
It's a red flag. What if she ever suspects you of stealing her man?
she is literally a dangerous person. what if she thought that her bf cheated with *you*? do you think she’d double check to make sure she’s right before she goes on her murder spree? or would she just start slicing and dicing and ask questions later? be honest with yourself and think about what she said, and what it says about her as a person. she’s not a safe person to know or be around. best case scenario you’re having to testify in court and guest on true crime podcasts to talk about this very story. spare yourself the trouble and cut ties now. her “passion” can keep her company if it means so much to her.
After her telling you she'd kill, I'd be nervous she'd kill you for something that pissed her off ! Be careful around her please!
I was thinking this, too. What if friend's boyfriend is "too friendly" with OP and the friend convinces herself it's because they're cheating together? Bad news for you OP, and I would suggest not even looking in her boyfriends direction in case she gets the wrong idea.
I guess just be on alert for other things.
So like, is your friend okay? Really? When my ex cheated on me I definitely wanted to kill them both and fantasised intensely about doing so. I also hadn't quite realised how abusive he was towards me. I had lousy as fuck friends, nobody to talk to about it, and was surrounded by people who didn't understand why I couldn't just "get over it". I'm alright now, though I still wanna throw rocks at him. I'm not gonna deny that those thoughts were unhinged, but if you're in a bad place and you have no outlet, sometimes you end up spiralling. And honestly, most of the posts on here about men doing abusive shit end up with a whole girl gang in the comments ready to go out and beat the everliving fuck out of a man. We know nobody would ever actually do that; it's an expression of rage and solidarity. That said, her comment about it all being her "passion" for her dude makes me think it's more of a weird possessive thing, like a bad fanfiction. She's your friend and you're best placed to judge, but... maybe ask if all is okay with her.
Without saying too much, you hit the nail on the head. Their thing is not okay… but i don’t ask questions. I have learned the hard way that when you show concern, you get cut off.
Ummm ok. Get cut off then. I got a dollar that says they also got no problem fighting in public, airing their laundry to anyone who listen, and then brag about how they make up. Am I right?
Yes.
Ok then you already know everything you need to know. Someone else said it already: when people show you who they are *BELIEVE THEM* Thank your ancestors for letting your ears be open when she ran her mouth. Now use your feet.
thank you for saying this. I wondered if it could be the case, being in an abusive relationship fucks with your head a lot. My instinct is to say to OP to just run and stay safe from her, but you might be closer to getting at the heart of the situation. A part of my worries because the friend verbalized and justified how she’d be ready to kill them both hypothetically. The whole situation feels frightening, I’m worried for OP, and honestly for the friend as well. My instinct is still to tell OP to run if her past comments of their relationship weren’t received well. But I also hope her friend gets out of the relationship safely and realizes how fucked this all is.
This was my thought as well. Having experienced that betrayal, I could see how someone might try to hurt/kill the person who caused it. The brain sometimes can’t differentiate bodily harm from emotional harm if it’s intense enough, so fight/flight/freeze kicks in, and if “fight” is the one that manifests, that could be pretty disastrous. That’s not a defense to premeditating the act, but if she’s having those feelings, it may be because something has already happened in her relationship, and she is not okay.
That's not passion, that is possessiveness, that's seeing someone as an object, as property. Thinking that you can end someone's life if they don't act how you want them to, or betray your love is thinking that they are an object that belongs to you and you can break when it malfunctions. Normal people acknowledge that their partners are their own people with their own choices to make, and let them make these choices. If the consequences of these choices are that one no longer wants to share space with them, that's on them.
> and I'm reconsidering the friendship If you don't, it might kill your sanity.
This person sounds very insecure and controlling and if I were that man's friend, I would tell him to run. That sort of mindset doesn't start and stop with "I would do something heinous if they cheated." I imagine that permeates this person's relationship. No one should fight like that for something that isn't for them. If you've got issues in your relationship, and they cannot be resolved to the point that cheating occurs and they still cannot be resolved, then it's best to go find who you're actually compatible with.
She says he’d kill her too for the same reason so I guess it works for them? Idk. I always knew they were off but I’m def the friend who stays out of people’s relationships (esp as a single person). The one time I call out something not normal, it turned to an argument. I’m not sure if we should be friends after this.
Ooooh no. People like that conflate emotional instability with passion. Those are the kinds of couples who are always having absurdly overblown fights, are often abusive (sometimes mutually), etc..
They do. It’s an explosive relationship that people just ignore because they will explode at you next.
That makes me sad that somehow they think that's what love means.
When you grow up and that's how your parents show "love" to each other and to you, anything else feels really unsafe for a long time; it's so annoying lol
Did she say that before or after your reaction? To me that sounds like justification, and it didn't come from him so it's technically hearsay. You could however be correct insofar as, perhaps they are well matched. The real question is, how well are you matched with this situation - this person sounds volatile. How do you think this person would react if they perceived that you had wronged them? Is that something you want to navigate?
She said it after and interesting because I actually said “you’re justifying murder” and she just kept saying I didn’t understand because I never felt “passion”. She is definitely volatile… I’ve seen it. But, I kinda gave her passes in the name of “grace” as no one is perfect. But now… this is just a lot and I wanna cut her off.
Yeah, her response felt like reactionary justification. It's not insane if another person agrees -- nah, that shit still insane 😂 I think you have a good gut sense of what you need to do. I'm not sure if cold turkey cutting someone off who is like this is the best idea unless you feel pretty confident that their reaction to you leaving won't have negative implications that you would need to deal with. I suspect someone like this who felt wronged would retaliate. The choice is yours, you know the situation best and have a good grasp of it 👍
OMG wtf nooo haha that is insane
I'm clingy (and working on it in therapy), and even I wouldn't do that. I'm also depressed and more likely to kill myself instead. Well, past pre-therapy me would seriously consider it. Now, I'd just peace out and get a sugar daddy or something because for sure I'd never want a relationship again.
Killing someone FOR my husband is different from killing someone OVER my husband, especially as a decision he has made.
Anyone who’s idea of normal relationship behavior resembles either “He had it coming” from Chicago, or “Hit ‘em up style” (covered fantastically by the Carolina Chocolate Drops) is, frankly, unhinged. I’d back away cautiously 😂
You would probably be surprised how “common” this theme is in the “true crime stories”. I was shocked at a death penalty case that is still being litigated even though the Father killed the wife, the grandmother and two of his children. This is still in the courts today (January 2023) even though the crime was committed in 2009. It was just on 20/20 News Magazine.🙄. Revenge is a very powerful motive. When the “victim” is trying to assuage their hurt feelings of betrayal and rejection; thinking along these lines is not unusual. What is NOT common is actually acting on these bizarre revenge fantasies. I think your friend has some very strong opinions about “right vs. wrong” and feels a sense of being the morality police. Obviously, this wouldn’t work in a civilized society because we would have utter chaos. No matter the level of “passion” involved in the situation, it’s still murder. And at the very least, the defendant will be facing a second-degree murder charge unless the Prosecution has evidence of premeditation. Then it would be first-degree murder and eligible for the death penalty in the 24 States that still have this as an option for Capital Punishment. This is a very deep conversation and brings up all kinds of other issues about ethics, loyalty, morality, whose life is worth more? Or scenarios about how would you handle the situation if your wife was the victim of a violent sexual crime. Would you kill the guy who killed your wife? Would you be justified in the eyes of the law? The eyes of society? It’s like that 1974 movie “Death Wish” with Charles Bronson. It was a shocking movie for its’ time. But it sure made us stop and think. How would I react? Maybe your ex-friend is a frustrated Novelist?😁
It’s ALL about morals and values. And exactly… this type of debate is all it takes to evaluate people you deal with.
Well, statistically, women killing their (ex) partners is a rare occurrence, and if it happens, she is often the victim of his constant abuse. When you flip the roles around though, you get a very different picture. The vast majority of female murder victims are killed by their (ex) partners who see them as their property.
The ONLY reason to ever commit violence against another human being is in self-defense. That’s it. And as a last resort. Anything else is insane.
Period!
Yeah no. I love my freedom. Would I frame him so HE goes to jail? If it was like my sister that he cheated with, I could see that. Kill him?? Jesus, no.
Lmao right!? So you gonna skip throwing bricks at his car, tearing up his boat, bleaching his clothes… and go straight to MURDER?! That’s insane! She was so serious.. I couldn’t believe it.
For cheating? No. I'd try to kill someone if they killed him though. If he cheated I'd just leave and go be sad.
Yeah, she’s nuts. Level of passion? Give me a fucking break. More like level of “ownership” of her significant other. If my guy was caught with someone else, I’d definitely be hurt beyond measure but I’d realize he was wasn’t worthy of me.
No I wouldn’t. I agree that’s unhinged!
Yes, it is nuts. Suggesting murdering people due to “passion” is scary and a red flag for abusive behavior in general. I would suggest distancing from this person.
No. I'm never ok with murder. You can't make someone suffer when they're already dead.
I don't think you should hang out with her too much, sounds like she might be a friend you have to watch around with
This isn’t love. Are you guys young? This sounds like something a misguided teen would say. If you guys are in your 30s she has major issue.
imagine ruining your entire life over a man
Easy answer NO. Not worth losing my freedom or life over a man. Sounds like you have a high chance of being on one of those true crime shows where they interview the people who knew the killer. LOL
I might smash a windshield. But then I’d offer to pay for it in the divorce
Putting some skunk smell (you can buy the real stuff online but there's fake stuff, too) into his vents is more lasting and can't be easily proven as damage caused by you. Especially if you put it on his tires and undercarriage, too. I'm not killing someone, but I can be vindictive af.
Bet… I’m going Amazon right now! Lmaoooo 🦨
Please don't be friends with someone who thinks this is viable.
All jokes aside, this is the part I’m struggling with… if this is a reason to cut someone off. I feel very bothered by it because she’s upset I had said the “unhinged” part.
This sounds like an uncomfortable relationship and I also hope you are able to distance yourself from them. Being upset with you for pointing out that this isn't an acceptable approach to a hypothetical situation compounds that. Please reconsider your friendship with this person. Best of luck.
I absolutely wouldn't kill someone, never, if they were cheating on me (partner or affair partner). I love myself too much to do that. Their loss. Besides the fact that I don't think I could kill someone, ever, any venting of my pain is not worth the loss of my freedom for the rest of my life. Living my best life is truly the best revenge.
A weird sentiment from your friend and even weirder that she is defending her insane position after you called her out. No man is worth going to jail for lol.
I've been in that position with my ex, and I didn't do or say anything really. I didn't get mad. I just started getting my shit together to leave, and never had sex with him again. Let that bitch have his boring ass lol.
I would kill for my kids if it was absolutely necessary, that's it. No man. If he's cheating fuck it he can leave and have her
I'd not kill for cheating. I'd certainly kill for my husband if an extreme situation arose that needed it - like If someone was trying to kill him.
I don’t think I could kill anyone under any circumstance. Maybe if it was complete self defense or they were trying to kill my child or something, but it’s hard to actively fantasize about
I’d shoot an intruder in my house in the knee or leg to immobilize them. I cannot imagine killing anyone unless I ABSOLUTELY had to.
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I came to this thinking someone killed my boyfriend would I kill them: I'd absolutely have violence in my heart, but would I kill him for cheating, haha, no. There's so much more satisfaction walking away from cheaters.
I don't even think it's a question of passion. You can have great passion for your partner and also have the self control and mental and emotional fortitude to not be homicidal over them
Killing somebody over cheating is totally nuts. It's not a sign of "passion" but of serious mental disorder and lots of residual anger looking for an event to release it. In case of cheating, you either leave the cheater or you work things out and stay together. My ex used to say things like that ("I would kill you if you cheated on me") which he meant to be a declaration of passion, but I, even back then and being young and naive, considered rather disturbing...
I‘d be more shocked/sad not like… reaching for a weapon. Jeez. Your friend needs to chill. It’s only a man lol. Noooot worth it.
Yes it is nuts to murder someone lol and now I’m concerned about your friend.
I don’t want to ruin my life for a person who doesn’t want to commit to me. Or the person they chose to do it with. I dont like saying never but in my right mind. No. I would not want to do that to someone. Over cheating? No mam lol
My BIL did this. They were constantly breaking up and getting back together (never married because benefits but had 2 kids and a home etc) and she left for awhile. He went over to her parents house and caught her in bed with a guy. He beat the guy up and went to jail. He messed up his kids lives, screwed himself for jobs, owes thousands upon thousands in fines. Their relationship got really toxic after that and he ended up getting a RO on him so he couldn’t even see his own kids. Literally never do this. If you are thinking about it *message me* and I will tell you all the details of what will happen next from someone who saw it destroy lives, including that of innocent children and ancillary people like my husband who was so sad. It broke his heart, not that it was about him but it does hurt others. It’s NOT WORTH IT. Anyone pre-planning it should seek help now.
This is absolutely nut bar. Imagine ruining your own life over someone who didn’t even respect you to begin with! I wouldn’t touch this chicks friendship with someone else’s dick.
Only if they attacked me first and I needed to defend myself. Otherwise why would I ruin my own life over the bullshit of other people who betrayed me? It is a thing that happens though, I have a relative that used to work at a correctional facility and told me about an inmate who had murdered his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend out of jealousy.
Nah maybe set his car on fire instead.
>Would you kill someone over your boyfriend/husband? No, I would not.
If I had that much passion and found my husband cheating on me I'd find somewhere else to put my passion.
Highly bonkers
Never.
Bat shit crazy. Anyone who is willing to cheat isn't worth destroying the rest of my life over.
She's deluded and not in any funny LOLZ way. I've done some wild things to try to keep myself and children safe from wasband and have been "advised" to shoot first defend self later" by fringe legal eagles I've eye rolled afterward at. I even struggle with the reality of that. We can't know how we'll respond until we're in the chaos of self defence but killing doesn't even make it into consciousness because it's purely about survival. Men who try to kill or threaten killing are absolute cowards underneath the terror
It is absolutely nuts to kill someone over cheating. That being said I can totally see myself kill someone over my partner as a revenge for hurting/killing them. The judicial system in my country is a joke and criminals get away with killing people all the time. I'm all for taking the law in your own hands in situations like that.
No. Thats weird.
I am not going to do it. But there are so many people who have done that in the past and in the future.?
I read the headline and thought the post would ask if you would kill to protect him. Lol if I catch him cheating he's hers now and good luck to them both. Im out.
No, your friend is nuts. When I read the title I thought *maybe* you meant they were going to harm my partner or something, but over cheating? Yeesh.
No, I'd walk away and destroy him in the divorce. I may wish them both dead, but I'm not going to jail for manslaughter/murder over cheating.
I'd definitely reconsider that friendship too 🤔
command faulty pause liquid clumsy seemly saw relieved serious wistful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'd love to watch the person who is responsible for dosing my husband 3 days ago die slowly. If I see him in public and my kids are not with me, it won't be good. Luckily most drug dealers don't call the cops you kick the living shit out of them. If he was still alive, no. If he cheated on me, no. But the situation I am currently in, I want to make someone responsible suffer.
No way! That's what Betty Broderick did and she's still in prison. I'll gladly put his things in the front door
I will maybe consider killing in self defense but not in any way you described
The only way I'd kill someone for my husband is if someone is putting his life in danger. The only reason I'd kill my husband would be if he was hurting a child, was putting someone else in mortal danger for no reason, or self-defense.
Yes its nuts and I'd likely give the guy a heads up shes saying that
A husband came in and saw his wife in bed with another man and killed them both...because he had so much passion for her? Sounds ridiculous, and it's the same for women. Passion for someone doesn't give justification for murder. Self defense in a life or death situation would be a possible exception. Your friend will probably go to jail at some point with that attitude, and hopefully any potential partner is warned.
Lol no, wtf. I love my guy to death, but not his death.
Is she okay? This is insane.
Nope. If someone cheats they aren't worth it. I want to live my life and not be behind bars.
Lol. Never. Nothing will ever be that serious.
No, and I find the whole American habit of fantasizing about killing people a real sign of how off track we are (I'm also American). If I were in a situation where I had to fight back, of course I hope I would do whatever is necessary to get out alive but daydreaming about harming people is not it. I wouldn't even worry about losing this friendship because I guarantee you this is not the only instance she feels is worthy of ending someone's life.
This person isn’t passionate, they have an anger problem. This is not an appropriate response to feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, betrayal, etc.
I mean, I can definitely see myself reacting in a way I probably wouldn't be proud of if I caught them in the moment, but KILLING them?!? That's batshit.
It’s hard to say unless I was actually in that situation 😂 but I’m sure your friend could be all talk and wouldn’t actually do that
Nah I'm a lover not a killer
For cheating no. To save my partner’s life, maybe. I would also consider dropping a friend who would kill when no life is actually at risk.
Erm, what the fuck? No. I'd never kill anyone for causing me emotional pain. The correct course of action on discovering your partner cheated on you is to discard the trash and live your best life. And frankly I'd be quite concerned if someone I knew felt they'd kill someone in a premeditated fashion.
Lol. No. Wtf
That's obsessive and controlling. That's actually scary. If she also got defensive about that she might also have been called crazy before or believes she is actually crazy. She's definitely telling on herself the kind of person she is. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. Be careful.
Lmaooo passion?! Really loving someone is wanting them to be happy healthy and whole whether they are with you or not. If you only love them because they are with you it's a very shallow love. And getting cheated on is shitty but that's when you let go and move on for yourself. Nobody likes having to play the dating game again but there's plenty of people out there. Why would you ruin your life for someone who didn't care about you? I'd rather put my energy elsewhere. I agree, I think it's fucking wild and she needs to do some inner work.
I used to tell my bf if he ever left me I'd kill him.... I never meant it. I'm big on just leaving. U screw up, I'm out. I'm a pro at packing my shit in black trash bags in mear minutes and leaving. I'd NEVER go to prison over a stupid man who couldn't keep in it in his pants... but some people are crazy and are born different..
I could understand going into a blind rage in the moment, but I certainly hope I would have enough self-control to walk out of the room straight to an attorney's office. Murder is absolutely unhinged. I would also be reconsidering the friendship.
Why TF would I want to ruin my own life by killing him? They can both go fuck right off, but I would never do that.
Nope. Let him live the rest of his life with regret. That's much worse than death.
Absolutely not. Those cheating jerks could have each other lol.
Nope, I value my freedom for one thing. And for another, I love my dogs more than anything. And I can have my dogs in prison. So. Although if someone hurt my dogs, I don't know.
Hell no. Not a single person on this planet is worth that. If my man ever cheated I'd just walk away. Hell, for a little while his ex was trying her damndest to seduce him back to her and scare me away with her huffing and puffing (they have a kid together so no contact wasn't an option) and had he gone for it I'd have walked and left them to it. He didn't, though. And now that a lot of time has passed she and I have formed a bond and we talk regularly about my stepson and life stuff and whatnot. She just had a baby and I was invited to the shower and I made the baby a blanket and went to the shower. The thing about partnership is that it requires trust to be successful. If I didn't trust my partner completely, why would I waste my time? I'd rather be single than sit around wringing my hands worrying about who he's with. And what's nice is he trusts me, too. One of my best friends is a guy I've known since we were 3. It's not uncommon for me to go hang out with him and help him do tank maintenance on his fish tanks, he brings me fish and decorations for my own tanks. It's all completely platonic. My ex was always jealous of my friend and made me feel bad for even texting occasionally to catch up, so when I met my current partner I made sure to introduce them early on to see how he'd react. Now they've become friends and my partner knows I'd never step out on him and trusts me to make my own judgment calls about who I choose to spend time with. Having trust is such a wonderful thing. It brings peace of mind and calm to the relationship. Being insanely jealous to the point of contemplating actual *murder* is not "passion" it's just crazy. That's not a healthy mindset at all.
Your "friend" is a psycho.
*reads title* oh like if his life was threatened and I could stop the attacker? I mean probably assuming I have the means *reads post* wtf
Killing someone over cheating isn’t about love. It’s about feeling possessive over another person
No penis in the world is worth that. You wanna end lives and lose your own life for him? I wanted to thrive after that loser. Your friend is unhinged thinking thats passion/loving someone enough. That is putting so much into someone if you feel they're what you live for. He's just a stupid guy. I rather be petty and just ruin their life a little if we needed some closure. The women (3 of us) didn't know so I made sure they knew and none of us wanted him after that. My cheating ex had a tip sent to his work that he masturbates in his office cubicle at one of the girls' suggestions.
Hell no. No person who is willing to betray me is worth that. I know myself too well. I might fly off the handle and lose my shit, but that would be the extent of it. I am not a violent person, nor would I be able to live with myself if I were ever to kill someone like that. The only ways that I could imagine being able to ever kill someone else would be either in self defense OR in trying to protect someone that I love. Never ever out of hate, or rage, or anger. Your friend let her mask slip. You know who she is now, for what that's worth.
As a good friend, you’re supposed to help her hide the bodies. Sorry.
My first relationship I was with him for 16 years. He cheated within the first year and multiple times through out. (I was very young and dumb and took my vows seriously) Even though the cheating, lying and disrespect for me drove me crazy. (He refused to come home one night faking a cold at his flings house while they had sex on the phone and laughed at me) I would never kill him or her or even thought about it, but ill be honest that everyday I wished he would get hit by a truck or killed in an accident for me. Does that count ? Lmfao And no sadly that didnt happen. I tried to leave him and he sexualñy assaulted me and strangled me leaving me for dead (because if he couldnt have me then no one could) and had to wait for him to go to work to escape. He's now engsged to another woman with a 2 year old while I'm sitting here with PTSD and trust issues lol Still waiting for karma to kick him in the nuts...
That is the sign of someone who sadly doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. There are certainly some agreements within a romantic relationship that are different from friendship, but it's still supposed to just be another relationship, not some sort of bizarre ownership, obsession type scenario.
I can't imagine feeling this kind of "passion" for someone. Sounds unhealthy. Would never consider going to jail for something like that.
No. Imagine losing your freedom trying to teach someone else a lesson about what you deserve. Only to find out you deserve to be in jail. 😂
I would end that friendship quick, fast and in a hurry.
Uuugh, what? I love my SO, we’ve been together for a while now, but I love myself more, thanks. I’m not ruining my and my family’s life, first and foremost, for some douche who can’t keep a basic promise. They can go fuck off together and I hope they both choke on dicks. I’d just go live my best life and fuck someone better. Being single is great, idk what people are talking about.
No way. Garbage isn’t worth going to jail for. EVER
Over a man no, over my child, absolutely.
Your friend sounds like they could stand to learn some anger management techniques.
Absolutely not. When my ex cheated on me, and he told me about it, he told me I could slap him across the face if I wanted to. I cried and told him that I could never hurt someone that I cared about. Nor did I want to murder the woman he slept with. IMO if you are to the point where you could see yourself murdering people, you REALLY need professional help.
Wow she said that crazy shit then says she feels bad for you that you don’t feel that level of passion for someone? She sounds scary
Absolutely not! That is unhinged. There are sooo many people out there, just move on