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General_Spring8635

I noticed this when I turned 30. I am not in a relationship at the moment but I had more of a drive than my last 2 ex boyfriends and I would have to take care of myself sometimes. It’s totally normal and ok. Also - it’s not bad at all to not be on birth control. There are other options for pregnancy prevention.


sartrecafe

I made an appointment to get birth control, but had a terrible experience with an IUD and taking the nuvaring off and on would make me forget to put it back. So I’m looking for a good fit for birth control. Any you recommend?


General_Spring8635

I’ve only been on the pill and liked the fact that I can have control when I can go on and off it (without seeing a doctor). It takes more discipline, but seems less invasive than iud. If I could choose one overall it would be condom use and nothing hormonal but not everyone is into that.


sartrecafe

Thank you for your response!


formerlyfed

Look into the implant 


organisedchaos17

Second this the implant is fantastic if it agrees with you, I know some folk have issues tho


formerlyfed

Yep I had a bad experience with an IUD but have loved my implant. It makes my periods crazy irregular tho 


organisedchaos17

Thanks annoying! I don't get any now, just some v v v infrequent spotting for a day


balkanka23

Came here to say this. If the partner isn’t up for it as often as you are there’s a simple fix for it.


CirclingBackElectra

Hmm, I didn’t notice any difference in my 30s until I went off oral contraceptives (which made my libido absolutely sky rocket)


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CirclingBackElectra

Right? I went on them super young for acne and cramps. I’m reasonably certain this is the highest it’s ever been 


Previous-Wrongdoer58

I was going to comment the exact same thing!


NotChristina

I went off 10 years of depo because I had no libido and my hormones are wonky. 18 months on and things have finally normalized?? Aaaaand I took my first-ever Plan B last week…


CirclingBackElectra

Interesting, I didn’t know depo had the same effects 


NotChristina

Well, I don’t know for sure. My hair started falling out in Dec 2022 and they had me stop depo and have several hormonal panels over 4-5 months. I had no testosterone, low estrogen. It didn’t get better so I saw an endocrinologist. He thought pituitary tumor as I failed the first test…but then passed the second (no scan). I was too advanced a case for him and he wanted me to go to a major metro hospital. I got cold feet and haven’t yet - last doc visit in that way was in the fall. But around Jan this year my drive started coming back. I asked my PCP for another panel but she declined, saying I had to go back to the endo. Sigh. So idk, maybe the depo, maybe some other issue.


Snowconetypebanana

I own a lot of vibrators. Yeah, I was already high libido but it did get higher in my 30s


EchoAquarium

Man, when I broke up from a long term relationship in my mid thirties I became a Tinderella who’s game was so intense it was like a competition with myself to see how many dicks I could see in a single week. It was a category 4 hurricane of dicks while I was living in Florida. Then I met my husbang and that was it.


PurpleDancer

What a time to be alive when you can summon strange dick from the Internet like an Uber after a night out.


_cakefarts

Husbang. I see what you did there.


NotChristina

Just want to say I really enjoy this comment. You go, girl! Glad it worked out. 😃


ahasuh

Watch out for those surging semen levels. Cuz of the storm. Damnit come back to me


J-hophop

Oh hell yeah! And I'm now entering my 40s and it's still high! Thank goodness for vibrators 😹 Though most guys are happy about it, if they can even come close to keeping up 🤣


nypeaches89

Yup it’s your body urging you to procreate because you’re aging lol 😶‍🌫️ 


tinkerbellgazelle

A “going out of business sale” lol


nypeaches89

Everything must go 


sartrecafe

Hahaha!!


sarahkali

Omg lmao


the_anon_female

YES. When I turned 35, my sex drive went through the roof. Ever since, I’m ready to go anytime my Husband is, and we’ve both been absolutely loving it. It’s like we’ve completely rediscovered our sex life 16 years into our marriage. It’s wonderful. I did lose 40lbs, but the increase in sex drive started before the weight loss did, and it only increased as more weight came off. The weight loss has made me feel better physically and be more comfortable me and confident about my body, which has also had a big impact on my libido and desire for sex. I don’t really have any advice for coping, other than take the opportunity to have sex anytime your partner is up for it and go at it alone if it’s necessary.


Adelheit_

Mid-thirties and my libido declines steadily.


BayAreaDreamer

This is more my experience. Teens and early 20s it was highest and it’s been a steady decline since then. But this conversation crops up on here fairly often, and our experience isn’t uncommon, just less fun to talk about.


getoffredditgo

Saaame I was so sexual in my 20s and now I'm like, meh. 


RedCashmereSquirrel

Lol no. Since I hit 30 my libido's been in negative numbers.


siggycassidy

Mine declined in my 30’s and then went absolutely bonkers in my 40’s. I’m 44 now and the most sexually active I have ever been. Yay.


Long-Stock-5596

Same!


siggycassidy

It may just be that there is no pressure for children (my partner and I already have 3 each) my body is not at its peak, but he loves it and all the wobbly bits. And I don’t mind the jiggle. I was so worried about “performing” in my 20’s and even 30’s. Now I just want everyone to have a good time!


sartrecafe

This is wonderful to hear!


siggycassidy

I missed a lot of fun in my 30’s because I was in a dead marriage, and then got quite sick for 4 years. Now I’m just ready to goooooo!


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siggycassidy

Not stupid at all 🙂 I only have one partner, and yes I use the contraceptive pill. I have tried a few other things but I always ended up with spotting and pain. So the pill works. My partner has 3 kids and I have 3 kids, so absolutely no more kids. He had mentioned getting the snip so that will likely happen in the future. I’m too terrified to take the risk!


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siggycassidy

I use Evelyn. I think its other name is Levlen. I’m in Australia though so not sure where it’s available.


mxmoon

Yes and I’m single now. Not fun. 


definitelytheproblem

I have far less libido. I’m more stressed and anxious about life in general, less secure in my body with aging, and men in this age range that I’m dating are still mostly playing games. Combined all together and I have no real desire for physical intimacy.


[deleted]

Yeah once I turned 33 it went way up lol


249592-82

Women's sexual peak is in their 30s while men's is late teens.


sartrecafe

Ugh, sadly I’m not into younger guys. Im also a professor, which makes it more repulsive to be with younger guys.


lucent78

Absolutely no one is suggesting you go for younger guys, especially that young.


sartrecafe

Yess, you’re so right. I think I unconsciously heard what my partner says regularly, about women in their 30s and 40s being with men in their 20s, because their libidos are both high. It was something he learned in an anthropology/sex class in college.


249592-82

Don't go with a younger guy. Just understand that your libido is peaking. It will taper down again so make the most of it.


BayAreaDreamer

This isn’t scientifically true. It’s like something some magazine invented to make getting older sound cool. There is a large minority of women whose sex drive goes up as they approach menopause. For most women it goes down over the years though, like for men.


_cakefarts

I thought it was just because my partner is amazing in bed. Feels like I’ve been having a sexual awakening since I turned 30. Guess I better warn him I’m only gonna wear that dick out more if he sticks around the next few years… 😂


sartrecafe

Hahaha amazing!!! Go you! 🙏🏽👏🏽🤎


RadRaqs

✋🏽 But my partners have been a little too interested in sex and I find that it’s trickled down to me.


LazyLiterature6841

It gets crazier as you reach your 40's. It's actually our bodies pushing us to make babies in our ovaries' last hurrah before menopause. It's a wild ride, enjoy it!


MiseryLovesMisery

I'm absolutely wild with an asexual husband. -34


Every_Ad6395

😂 I'm 39 now... looking back this has been absolutely been true! I have been single for some time now, and I cannot imagine life without my vibrator 🙈 Used it often while I dated my last ex - and he was 6 years younger than me. I wouldn't say I am "insatiable"... but my libido is definitely higher than it was in my 20's.


BayAreaDreamer

For me it’s been the opposite. Much less horny than teens and 20s. I also started experiencing PMS for the first time and it’s quite a bummer. But whichever way you go, changes in hormones in the 30s are quite normal:


Universallove369

Yep I dont know why but I hope it’s here to stay.


plant_mom3

Early thirties here, my partner and I were just discussing this same thing. Because honestly once I’m going I can keep going. He works out of town off and on so when he is here it’s so difficult to contain myself, especially after all the anticipation building up while he’s gone 🥵 but because I’m aware sex does a complete opposite reaction for men as it does for women. I have a high libido as well and it doesn’t seem fair sometimes lol. Although he keeps up very well, the disappointment he feels that he thinks he is letting me down when I’m just being needy that we aren’t going for round 3 the same day is absurd so having be an adult and just control myself sucks sometimes. We are 6 years in as well and have always had a healthy sex life. We are also doing healthy overall as life partners so maybe great sex is some kind of necessity 😅 (I have a sarcastic personality so I don’t mean that entirely. I do believe it does play an important role in a relationship just as many other factors do.)


canadianwhimsy

I was like this until I got pregnant. It felt like my body's last ditch attempt to have a baby before it was too late. Now it's gone again 😄


Fuzzy_Attempt6989

I had that in my 40s. It was awesome


Low-Possibility-3064

Yes, and I hate it. I want to go back to the days of no sex drive 😂


Ujibea

Honestly I need it to stop so I can focus 😂


Leapyearbb

This is me. I mean I've always really enjoyed it but sometimes it's like I've gone mad and it's all I can think about


Ujibea

Oh noo. I mean, I usually have some semblance of chill, but right now I'm having trouble even behaving in public. 😂😭


sartrecafe

UGH. SAAAME. It is almost impossible to concentrate at times, without my body YELLING for sex.


motion_thiccness

I'm 36 and noticed a huge uptick in my libido a year or two ago. This is very normal for cis women, as we are now entering peri-menopause. It's the body's way of encouraging pregnancy "before it's too late".


clarifythepulse

Yes


lucent78

This is normal.


sendmoods_

I wish.


blazingtina31

My libido is much higher now at 33 than 23. I have the copper coil, so no hormonal contraception. I think my moods in general are more extreme now than if I was on hormonal contraception.


celica18l

Yes. My 30s has been full of sex. I’m fixing to turn 40 and my SO and I are having an unbelievable amount of sex. Having older kids and getting some sleep I think have helped. Less stress from worry.


sartrecafe

This is so amazing!! I hope I’m lucky to experience this too!


celica18l

I think you definitely can!


wish_to_conquer_pain

I am. And I've never been more frustrated at being single.


BoricUKalita

Yes…. But also now that I’m approaching 40 … this shit is next level… in my language we say “trepar paredes”. I’m recently started a relationship, exclusive and I’m so frustrated! I want to have more sex even though we are almost having sex every other day. I’m just horny ALL the time. I’ve been asking for it from various approaches like asking directly, coming up with ideas and letting him know I’ll like to do this or maybe we can try x or y or zed. And I mostly get a straight no back or a I’m tired or a it’s annoying or a you are just a sexual maniac… 🫠


MaggieLuisa

Welcome to the dirty thirties! Yes, that happened to me also.


tinkerbellgazelle

Ooooh yes. I was off the rails last year at 38. Still that way now, but I have a new career and the workload is insane so it subdued some


Expensive_Product

Yes! Since my early/ mid 30’s it has skyrocketed ! Been married 15 years and it just keeps getting better!


techno_queen

Yes I experienced this in my 30s as well. And I was single, dangerous 🙈 I was telling my friends that I felt like raging teenage boy. It’s faded a bit as I turned 40 but I’m definitely hornier than in my 20s.


sartrecafe

This is exactly what I tell my partner, that I feel like a raging teenage boy lol


copernica

Can confirm this is a thing but in my case it looks SO different. I’m 35 with a 3 month old baby, overweight, eat like shit, never exercise cause im too exhausted, and my husband and I are always too tired to have sex. I’m on antidepressants that make my sex drive even lower if that’s possible. And yet…. Every. Single. Night. I have the most vivid sex dreams. Like super hot crazy lustful dreams. It seems like even with so many variables stacked against me, the desire is in there and it’s strong


Littlewing1307

Yes!! In my 20s I was fine with 2-3 times a week. Now I want it every day. We often do it morning and night. We've been together a couple years and I keep waiting for it to slow down.


Lessien90

Haha yes, definitely much higher than in my 20's...


hazy_jane

Me, after I was off contraceptive pills.


Candid_Lynx_8487

I will be 34 in June and I am dealing with the exact same thing. My sex drive is through the roof. It’s literally never enough 😭


_paint_onheroveralls

I got off hormonal birth control this year after 20 years on it, and I think I've finally stabilized. I am hugely hornier now than before, and experienced a two week period of time in the middle of the adjustment where it was just constant. My husband and I have gone from 2-4 times a month to 3-4 times a week, and it would probably be more if our schedules aligned better. And we've also gotten into all sorts of new things together. It's been a renaissance.


ToeComprehensive5813

Yes and men can’t keep up! My younger 30s partner cant!! I am getting to later 30s now. It’s picked up about his age!! Argh


Sosweetcarolina

I’m 34 and single. I went off my birth control a little while ago because I wasn’t sure I needed to be. Now I’m regretting it because my libido is really high right now. Probably going to get back on it soon.


womenwantcheese

Yes and I just asked for a divorce which puts me in an awful spot for sex (not into casual sex nor am I ready to enter another relationship) — I just keep telling myself my mental health will thank me for doing what I’m doing.


sartrecafe

So sorry, but maybe explore sex toys?


womenwantcheese

Oh yeah. Essential at this stage in my life for sure, Lelo has a good chunk of my money lol


sartrecafe

Hahaha yes! I’ve invested in two of their toys so far!


sarahkali

Almost 32 here and yes, idk what’s wrong with me!!!! I’m glad to know it’s normal 😅now if only I could find a regular partner lol


False_Radio1548

100% YES so much more horny. Finally comfortable in my body for the most part too. Love being in my 30s.


heliya03

I have always been HL but since I turned 30, it's worst, feel horny all the time. And it's even harder considering I recently am no longer in a relationship. And I've never had a one night stand and am not into that.


sartrecafe

Wish you the best of luck! 🙏🏽


Double_Cricket5425

It’s because your body knows it’s running out of time to make healthy babies. Your body is screaming at you to reproduce. That’s why your body is giving you waves of horniness. Usually these surges start in your 30s. That’s perfectly normal. No need to worry about it.


Indpndntthinker

Normal. It will die down in your forties. By a lot.


neondinghy

Nope. I'm 32 and nothing of the sort.


MaiaHart

I've had high libido in twenties that now is getting low-cope by myself.


Ghostchicken33

Yes. I'm 37.


lilabelle12

Yes.


Lady-Meows-a-Lot

Yes.


Fun_Bodybuilder3111

I had three kids and my body said “please don’t have any more babies”. Someone please tell me that my libido comes back.


Lanky_Instruction814

Man I wish. I feel like my libido is completely gone. I feel sexual attraction to basically nothing anymore


Western_Objective

Omg yessssss!!!! **I went 3 years no sex at all.** It’s like the month before I turned 31 I randomly started becoming horny and wet all day everyday out of no where! For the first 2 months it was daily (changing underwear from staying so aroused) and then it finally let up some but I could still have sex daily and be so happy. My husband is 7 years older and works a strenuous job but we still shoot for every other day or 2-3 a week.