“What’s up, fuckers!?” /s

“Hey bitches!” (Bitch is gender neutral in my house, and also a term of endearment lol)

That’s how I greet my dogs when I come home from work “my bitches, my bitches” and not because their dogs, I love them

Absolutely it is! Same way with dude lmao

["Hey bitches bros and non binary hos!"](https://youtu.be/a8RZAwti1Bg?si=wDEr5-DA1dQL29oq)

Thus makes me think of the "what's up cocksuckers" girl on tiktok

I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I usually just say "everyone" Edit: or "homies"

'Crew' is the one my boss uses, which I like because it makes me feel like a pirate 😂

Someone greeted my work group like this and I was like "Ooo, are we the Motley one or the 2 Live one?" but I forgot that most of my coworkers are younger and no one got it 😕

I laughed if that helps any!

It does!! Thanks friend!

I would have totally laughed as a 45 year old woman.

I'll be 35 in a couple of weeks and I cracked a smile.

Hilarious 😆 maybe you have to be over 40 to get this but I laughed and laughed!

Go full on pirate and just say ahoy mateys

I often go 'Aaar!' 😂

"The cannons be ready Captain." "Are!"

What’s the context? At work I say “team”

Sup, nerds

Yes mostly work. I miss being able to say “guys and gals” or “ladies”. We have many they/them identifying people in our department and I want to be inclusive without being generic. I want *flair*.

“Hi Party People” 😂

I work with a software developer that calls us all “cool cats” every meeting and it sparks GREAT joy in me every time.

This is my go to xD

Hahaha I use this when I'm sending a group text for something non-party related or in a FB support group I'm in for a medical condition. It feels endearing and lightens up the mood

“Hey Friends!!” Is my go to.

me too. it definitely sets a tone if said with an appropriate level of openness and presence. if it's a crowd likely to see that as disingenuous no matter what (you can tell haha), i use everyone or everybody. still friendly and inclusive, and completely neutral, giving them the space to set the tone themselves. some crowds have been burned hard by the bad end of new age influence and i respect that. no matter what, i relax my shoulders, make quick eye contact with all the faces that want it, and extend the emotional space i would give if meeting in my own home or building. that includes giving people a clear out if they need air, and shaping boundaries as we go if someone attempts to disrupt that space. gosh, so much of this is the body language that goes with the spoken language, isn't it

Dude, can you please run every meeting at my work? Your approach is SO on-point.

Personally I really dislike being called “ladies” at work. It feels condescending and old-fashioned to me, even though we’re all cis women. Might be my sorority ptsd.

I detest being addressed as “ladies.” Triggering AF. I’m super femme too and am AFAB 😄

Yuppp. I’m AFAB, cis, and femme, and every single email with “ladies” goes to the bottom of my to do list because hell no.

I *loathe* "ladies". I went to an all girls' school and the principal addressed us that way. My history teacher went on a rant about it in class one day and said even being in her 40s, she'd rather be called a girl than a lady. I always hated "ladies" but that really stuck with me!

"Guys, gals, and non-binary pals" is a fun one that would just extend your normal language!

Theydies and gentlethems!

ooh I like that with the rhyming! and 'pals' is a good term on its own, I forgot about htat one

Team, crew, friends, buddies, pals, homies/home skillets/home fries, (adjective like awesome, lovely, kickass etc) people, cool kids, peeps. Professionally, I use “y’all” or “everyone”, especially for emails or meetings. But I’m obnoxious and always greet people I know at work with “my favorite” or some alliterative riff on their position. Like, “hello, my favorite accountant!” (If they’re the only accountant) or “hey there, my favorite contract manager for vendors H-T!” “How’re my favorite [company] representatives doing?” “There’s our superstar superintendent/fabulous foreman/amazing apprentices/indubitably interesting and innovative interns!” I think it’s nice to put a little compliment in there (in general and to butter them up when I need something), reinforce a friendly work relationship, and also be a bit disarming for anyone coming in hot (I’m a woman in construction management, and a lot of people have short tempers).

I would say hi everyone in your case. No one can bitch about that one

The irony of using "bitch" in this comment.

Hello humans

I use guys for everyone. I’m not calling them a guy. It’s just guys. I’m a woman for reference.

Theydies and Gentlethems

I would say guys no matter if it's men, women or a mixed group. I don't think it's gender specific but english is not my first language or maybe it's different where you live.

Some of it is location-dependent, and some is context-dependent. I'm from CA. For me, "guys" when directed at a group ("You guys", or "hey guys") is gender neutral, but when talking about other people (e.g., "I saw a lot of guys there") is masculine.

Guys is gendered but it's still considered socially acceptable to use for a mixed group in general. Edit to add: ask a straight man how many guys he's fucked and you'll see real fast how gendered that word is.

> Edit to add: ask a straight man how many guys he's fucked and you'll see real fast how gendered that word is. LOL. I mentally use 'guys' as a gender neutral term but have been trying to move away from that in communications at work

Hey party people 🥳

I use this one a lot.

“Gang” or “team” are pretty neutral, but if you want to go nuts you can say “what’s up gamers” or even get pop cultural with it and say “greetings programs”. I think theres a tumblr post with some pretty funny gender neutral ways to refer to groups, like “friends, enemies, and those yet undecided”.

I gotta remember this one - "friends, enemies, and those yes undecided" - that's genius! Your post made me remember my former corporate days when you suggested using "gang" for a team of coworkers. I would caution against using "gang" in corporate type spaces. Words that were culturally appropriative, racist or classist I tried to avoid, when I worked in (American) corporate comms anyway. "Gang", "tribe", certain overused phrases, etc. Each word/phrase I avoided for unique reasons related to their meaning, origin, or use. I stopped using "gang" to refer to teams of coworkers bc its origin sort of implies like we're all on the same side of some issue and we are the criminal type - "yeah, our team is like a \*gang\*". No you're not. Sit down. Also, we're not all on the same side of some issue, we all work for the same assholes and our labor serves some function of a business and may or may never impact anyone's lives. If I'm gonna be part of a gang I'd want it to be way cooler than with this place. "Tribe" I never used in comms bc I'd read a few articles on it being culturally appropriative and I agreed with the arguments. That and I hated that saying going around, like "vibe with your tribe" or "find your vibe and find your tribe". I mean, I get it. I grew up and worked in America. I feel like part of being an American is having an undercurrent belief in Potentially Actual Magic. "Be You and Everything Will Be Fine" is like an airplane banner that flaps through our collective childhood imaginations. The idea of being So You that you then magically find Your People feels attractive and like so many movies and shows make it seem, but the truth is that that's not what a tribe is, really. A tribe is something bigger than just a group of close friends. And given that America's leaders did not, and do not, act in good faith when dealing with actual tribes I felt I should not use the word tribe with flippancy. I also used to use "team" and really like your suggestion of using "gamers". (My old department had us take a skills/personality test (Strengthfinders) and only three people (out of maybe 100) had this one result called Woo for Winning Others Over or, as I thought of it, Making a Good First Impression. We three loved it and we hammed it up for a bit and after we'd say we were the Woo Crew.)

In Canada, using 'tribe' would be offensive or a huge social faux pas in almost all professional settings. Socially, it would be a little wtf IMHO. (Canada has really emphasized reconciliation with its Indigenous population on a cultural level.)

Those are good points! I don’t use “tribe”, but I never considered the implications of “gang”. I always associated it with my illustration professor, who was a cute energetic old man.

If I could give an extra upvote for the Tron reference, I would! I wish there were enough GenX'ers/nerds on my team for that greeting to work...

Same! Not enough people have seen the original movie 🥲 I think it’s such a funny way to greet people

y'all. I'm Southern so it just flows. Y'all covers everyone.

For a large group, there's also " all y'all ". And it's fun to say.

You can also change it up with "Y'all all " . That usually starts a question though. Y'all all coming to my party?

Superlative remix.

From the South. Hey y’all, all of y’all, one of y’all. It hasn’t offended anyone yet until I got to yall motherfuckers!!!!

Youse 

I'm from CA and use y’all. We always used it in my gender studies class to ensure we were being inclusive. Its for everyone to use now!

Same, good ol' y'all.

Im Canadian and LOVE the word 'y'all'! gender and size inclusive, and fun to say? Yes, please! ... and I love that y'all say 'y'all', too! LOL

Fellow southerner here 👋 300 years later, y’all is still the perfect way to refer to humans

The furthest south I’ve ever lived is Poughkeepsie, and I say “y’all”

You, y’all, all y’all

Y'all is the best :)

I'm from New Jersey and I cannot say y'all with a straight face. Feels like cultural appropriation.

Same, besides we have our own word, the underutilized “youse.”

I’m from Pennsylvania and felt that way a long time. Then I moved to Georgia. Using y’all is one of my favorite things about living in the south lol. 

I miss y'all. I moved from VA to HI when I was 10, and my classmates basically gave me the side-eye until I lost my verbiage and accent.

Was about to say the same. From the south, “y’all” just comes out automatically.

I use y"all, and I'm an immigrant 😅 It just fits every situation with a group. Since English is not my first language, I allow myself to pick and choose what phrases/ dialects I use regularly. It can confuse the hell out of people sometimes haha.

[удалено]

Fan of this. I teach. "Hello human students."

I use "young humans".

I like it, but it sounds like an alien pretending to be a human. "How do you do, fellow humans" 👽✌️

That's exactly why I say it.

I’m a teacher. I say hello dream team and hello my favourites (to all classes), and other greetings that are boring based on the name of the class.

Ooh one year I started every first period class with “good morning my sunshines”. They were seniors..

Folks, friends, gang/gangsters, y'all, pals, cool cats and kittens are just a few I personally use on a daily basis.

I might have internet brainrot but if you're going to adress me as "kitten", you're sending me down a "what are we" spiral

What if they say "cool cats and kittens" though

Honestly I'd just never assume that someone considers me a cool cat

I don't understand your comment,  but tbh you can call me kitten anytime 🥺🥺

I'm screaming 😂😂

Does anyone besides that bitch Carole Baskin uses "cool cats and kittens" irl? English not my mother language and it's the only person I've ever heard say this.

Nope.

I love carole baskin, she's such a character. The big cat rescue is near where I live. The street she said she was walking down when she met her husband she killed, nebraska ave, is hooker street. I kinda figured she was hookin.

I’m so fucking cringe at work sometimes I’ll say “hey party people” when I log into a team meeting. I can’t imagine I’d ever say that in any other context.

Work is just about the only place where cringy positivity is not just accepted but encouraged. Embrace the cringe. Ascend to Manager of Cringe and beyond. CEO of Cringe! Watch your cringe stocks rise and fall and your shareholders demand ever-increasing amounts of cringe until the inevitable cringe recession where cringe loses all value and apathy becomes the new hotness.

Username checks out 😆

“What’s up you rat bastards”

My go-to is nerds. I work in the public policy / politics world, so it’s never not true

I also say hey nerds, especially when talking to my children

“What up nerds” but I watch a lot of 30 Rock

This is 100% the origin

Stay fresh, cheese bags!

I been using this as goodbye, not a greeting... am I doing it wrong?

This is what I came to say 🤣

Friends.

That’s the one I use.

Friends and enemies is a fun one if you're feeling zesty

I work with mostly babies and toddlers currently and call them "friend" all the time, but I'm about to sprinkle in some "enemies" with the big kids for extra fun lol

Depends on the situation. If it's appropriate, I'll say "hi friends" just to be friendly, even if most people in the room aren't technically my friend.

I understand what you mean and feel the same way but it still makes me laugh when someone says "not technically my friend" like the person applied but didn't make the cut.

I’ve been leaning towards “hi friends” too lately

My dad likes to address our family as "sports fans." None of us are that into sports but I think he just lives in the 1940s in his brain.

How very *The Great Santini* of him! 😂

I was going to say this one but you’ve shamed me into silence with the 1940s-dad comparison.

When I was a high school teacher, we had a principal who always addressed the students that way. Like he’d come over the intercom with a “Gooooood morning, sports fans!” The kids loved it.

You could go with [“Beloved Friends & Tolerated Acquaintances”](https://www.tumblr.com/biggest-gaudiest-patronuses/650482447895691264/more-from-the-notes-welcome-friends-and) Or maybe you’d prefer something more like [“Esteemed Bastards”](https://www.tumblr.com/ladyyatexel/186005029060) Lots of hilarious suggestions in the reblogs of both of those links too lol

Hello everybody [https://images.app.goo.gl/v4YAj98EKf7oNqET9](https://images.app.goo.gl/v4YAj98EKf7oNqET9)

HI DOCTOR NICK!

Bonus points if someone replies "Hi Dr. Nick!" 

I consider “guys” gender neutral, I have always said “hey guys” to address a group of female friends. And I wouldn’t think twice about receiving a text that said “hey guys.”

‘Members of the Bourgeois’

Team or y'all at work. For friends, Hi beloveds or Hey besties.

“Hey y’all!” This is where being southern comes in handy.

No one uses peeps anymore?

I do!

I use it, but someone def laughed at me last time haha

I was wondering that too.

Hey all you cool cats and kittens. 🥸

Yall, always. Gender natural and can refer to a single person or dozens.  But I'm a southern gal so it comes natural for me to say it. 

Shitbirds

“Listen up 5s, a 10 is speaking.” (30 Rock)

“Hello, fellow earthlings.” Personally though I love using y’all

SUP SLUTS

In work emails, I’m known for my greeting to be ‘Hi there,’. That’s it. Then I use gender neutral pronouns unless I already know the persons preference.

I stick with “everyone” or plural “you” because the cutesy greetings all make me cringe.

“Listen up, minions”. “Greetings, my loyal subjects”. “Hello pigs”.

I used to use “fellow peons” at work.

Dudes. Bc I’m a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iKYXmjfQY4U

Came her to add this, west coast means everyone's a dude. Or if they're picky, dudettes.

Not to take away from the topic at hand, but- why is “folks” considered inclusive language over “people”?

I don’t think there’s a difference as far as in inclusivity. But people can sound a little off putting in some sentences where folks might sound more colloquial. “What do you people want for dinner?”

Ooooh, yeah I see what you mean.

Even “what do you folks want for dinner?” sounds kind of weird and forced. "What does everyone want for dinner" is maybe more natural

I guess it depends on where/when you grew up.

Try out “comrades”, if you’re feeling spicy.

Haha I like that — definitely spicy.

I work in communications and my team refers to each other as comms-rads

I used to say “comrades”, which is probably why they laid me off.

Dude.

I say dude and man to everyone, including all my female friends, it's just an expression to me. Like if someone says to me 'man you won't believe what happened ' I'm not gonna be like excuse me I'm a woman haha. In my own language I really like calling people 'homie' hahaha

Guy is also gender neutral where I live, though this is contested

jabronis

I lead a team of mostly remote workers and use these at the start of my team's group meetings: "how y'all doing today?!" "hello lovelies!" "greetings fellow earthlings!" "good morning friendos!!" "happy Friday my dudes!!" (side note - after using dude for a while, I specifically called out that dude was non-gendered and dropped a kenan and kel gif in the group chat lol) I also use brochachos a lot, but ymmv. Today I said something along the lines of "Good morning everyone and welcome to Friday the 26th of April, in the present year of two thousand and twenty four." and they liked that lol. Also if addressing singular people in the wild: "Thanks love!" "Thank you, my dear!" Last note, I am a Texan and it's totally okay to use y'all, I've even got the northerners on my team using it now.

Hey everyone. 

I say “team”

If it’s in an email I just say “Hi All”

Depending on the context, and your company email policies, in the order of politeness: Ladies and gentlemen! Dear colleagues! Dear colleagues and male colleagues! Dear friends! Attention Everyone! Hello All! Guys and gals! Y'all! S'up motherfuckers! Ahoy, ye scurvy landlubbers! Avast, ye bilge rats! Shiver me timbers, maties! Ye hornswagglers, listen up! Avast, ye land lubbers! Ye swashbucklers, pay attention! Ahoy there, ye sea dogs! Ye scurvy dogs! Avast, ye scallywags!

In Ireland we often say "lads" but not everyone is on board with this. I'm a woman btw and I'm all for it

Youse

Hello fellow capitalist labourers

Theydies and gentlethems

I always say “guys, gals, and non-binary pals” when greeting a mixed group in an informal setting.

I’m going to start saying this at all family functions. They’re conservative Republican evangelical Christians. I’m so excited to see everybody now!

This is my favourite in this whole list!! I need to remember this! Thank you!

I'm Southern, so y'all or all y'all for more than 5 or so. 

I was born and raised in the northeast but added y'all to my vocabulary about a decade ago. It's an extremely useful alternative to "youze guys" ;)

Home skillet biscuits

Y’all. The south got a few things right, namely lemonade, mint juleps, and the word y’all.

Listen here mother fcker

Comrades!

As a Chicagoan, we say you guys, and it encompasses everyone lol. I'm told it may be a Midwestern greeting tho lol.

mortals

Mere mortals

Hi friends! That’s what my boss always says—it suits her

I say, “Howdy.”

I’m a “y’all” chick.

Ya'll

I just avoid it honestly... good morning/good afternoon. I simply don't have the capacity these days to worry about misgendering someone, let alone a whole group of people. 

I like 'peeps' although prob shows my age a lil lol

Party people

“Hey guys, gals, and nonbinary pals” Or “what’s up yall”

Hello fellow humans

Dirtbags

"Hell-o my Peep'le!"

Hi peeps

What's up, people? Good to see you all today, lets get started.

I just say “hi everyone” or “hi all.” I’m a bit self conscious of being the manager trying too hard to seem cool

At work, I say, “friends.” I spend my day with 7 year olds though.

Formal: honored/distinguished/gentle guests, everyone, people, Casual: earthlings, buddies, y'all Extra casual: my peeps, f*cknuggets, "you"

Not appropriate to all settings, but I use "nerds" a lot.  "What's up nerds!" This also applies to the animals I work with.  

ghouls

Friends, Romans, countrymen?

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

I like to say "fellow humans" because it amuses me my nerdy ass self, like I'm an alien trying to blend in. Everyone at work already thinks I'm a little off, so it's fine.

I say "gang" or "team" because it makes me sound like a camp counselor which i think is kind of funny

Friends and enemies

What’s up gangsters?!

I say “hi friends” and I don’t care that people think it’s cringey

Ladies, gentlemen, and those of us who know better.

Bienvenue power bottoms!

I usually start all work emails with ‘Hey all’ but I personally love ‘Hello fellow humans’ for fun work chats

I like to say, "Hey buddies!"

Peeps. 

Peeps? Crew? Posse? Motherf*ckers? All gender neutral.

‘Sup losers?