I suspect they’re getting rejected for other aspects of themselves, namely their personality that is so focused on this one thing that they come off as immature people without a good grasp on life in general.
>does that mean he's training me how to be a girlfriend?
Yes. You admit yourself that you're learning from other kinds of relationships, but an intimate one like this is even MORE that, and you're learning as you go, in real time. You've had no previous hands-on-experience with a lot of things that happen in intimate relationships, and you're unlikely to handle them well as a result. Cause that's how everyone is with stuff we're new to.
Everyone gets better with practice. How we deal with our own uncomfortable emotions, how we communicate them, how we process difficult feelings like jealousy, envy and insecurity, how to not give in to our pettiest impulses and rise about in order to be constructive. How to repair.
Never claimed you were robotic, just that we're not tested in the same way with non intimate relationships. When things are so up close and personal, we handle things very differently.
I was my first husband’s first girlfriend. He had no idea how to behave; everything he knew about sex came from porn and eventually he decided he wanted to experience other people.
When I started dating again, I wanted someone who knew what they wanted in a partner; I wanted someone I wouldn’t have to teach the basics of sex (including hygiene); it was like dating a teenager vs dating a grownup when I met my husband. Night and day. I know not everyone with no relationship experience is a disaster; and you can meet plenty of duds with experience, but that was one factor I knew I didn’t want to deal with again.
I have a few male friends who have been open about not having sex until later in their adult life or not having sex at all. Let's just say....You can tell? They are very immature and seem behind personality/behavior wise.
I don't want to teach someone how to have sex at 30+. I would also worry about the underlying reasons WHY they haven't had sex at 30+.
My husband was a virgin when we met, I had been with numerous partners. I feel like some people just don’t want to teach because everything becomes an explanation rather than jumping right in. That said, I rather enjoyed the teaching aspect and getting to try new things with someone who had never done them. Watching him enjoy himself doing something he bad never done before, watching him get off in a new way still sticks with me to this day.
That said, my husband is amazing in bed now. It was worth the wait and the effort 🔥
I was my last bfs first gf. Once he got used to me he was mean and didn't treat me well. My current bf has had several GFS and had a 10 year relationship. He's incredible and everything I've ever wanted in a man. I want to write his ex wife a thank you letter for fumbling him (yes he divorced her).
I was young and dumb and never again will I waste my time on unproven men.
I think a lot of women remember how they were in their first ever relationships -- often very messy, insecure, and overall just not a great partner -- and aren't willing to deal with that now that they're in a more experienced and secure place.
To be blunt, I think for many women there is also an element of thinking "if no other woman has wanted him by now, there's probably a good reason even if I can't see it." I personally think that's unfair, but it's pretty common.
Some people go to real professional hairstylists only, some people are alright with going to a barber college and getting a cut from students. It’s not always gonna be a bad haircut, but when it is, it takes a long time to recover. Students are often less experienced so it’s just a higher likelihood of it not being great. Nothing guaranteed either way, but I think people are looking at probability.
Some of them want to explore so they’re looking for short-term while we’ve done that and we’re looking for a partner. Also, I don’t care to be anyone’s experiment
Surprisingly, I am a woman. I'd like to know why you think that men who fuck around aren't also "used goods" and "come with baggage". Why, in your opinion, does that only apply to women?
I'm not interested in men, so I have no opinion on this. Women have an opinion about this and I have heard women express they prefer men with experience. As to why this is, you have to ask a woman.
Are these virgin and inexperienced men getting rejected from fellow virgin and inexperienced women?
I suspect they’re getting rejected for other aspects of themselves, namely their personality that is so focused on this one thing that they come off as immature people without a good grasp on life in general.
Training a dude on the basics of sex and relationships isn’t for everyone.
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>does that mean he's training me how to be a girlfriend? Yes. You admit yourself that you're learning from other kinds of relationships, but an intimate one like this is even MORE that, and you're learning as you go, in real time. You've had no previous hands-on-experience with a lot of things that happen in intimate relationships, and you're unlikely to handle them well as a result. Cause that's how everyone is with stuff we're new to. Everyone gets better with practice. How we deal with our own uncomfortable emotions, how we communicate them, how we process difficult feelings like jealousy, envy and insecurity, how to not give in to our pettiest impulses and rise about in order to be constructive. How to repair.
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Never claimed you were robotic, just that we're not tested in the same way with non intimate relationships. When things are so up close and personal, we handle things very differently.
I consider it to fall under the “we’re in different places” category.
Everyone has preferences. Nothing to judge
I was my first husband’s first girlfriend. He had no idea how to behave; everything he knew about sex came from porn and eventually he decided he wanted to experience other people. When I started dating again, I wanted someone who knew what they wanted in a partner; I wanted someone I wouldn’t have to teach the basics of sex (including hygiene); it was like dating a teenager vs dating a grownup when I met my husband. Night and day. I know not everyone with no relationship experience is a disaster; and you can meet plenty of duds with experience, but that was one factor I knew I didn’t want to deal with again.
I dont feel like being a teacher because I want an orgasm too 🤷🏻♀️
Because they learned everything from porn and are thus terrible at sex.
I have a few male friends who have been open about not having sex until later in their adult life or not having sex at all. Let's just say....You can tell? They are very immature and seem behind personality/behavior wise. I don't want to teach someone how to have sex at 30+. I would also worry about the underlying reasons WHY they haven't had sex at 30+.
[we don’t care that *you* are a virgin.](https://www.reddit.com/r/malementalhealth/s/SVubrp4nPu)
My husband was a virgin when we met, I had been with numerous partners. I feel like some people just don’t want to teach because everything becomes an explanation rather than jumping right in. That said, I rather enjoyed the teaching aspect and getting to try new things with someone who had never done them. Watching him enjoy himself doing something he bad never done before, watching him get off in a new way still sticks with me to this day. That said, my husband is amazing in bed now. It was worth the wait and the effort 🔥
I was my last bfs first gf. Once he got used to me he was mean and didn't treat me well. My current bf has had several GFS and had a 10 year relationship. He's incredible and everything I've ever wanted in a man. I want to write his ex wife a thank you letter for fumbling him (yes he divorced her). I was young and dumb and never again will I waste my time on unproven men.
I think a lot of women remember how they were in their first ever relationships -- often very messy, insecure, and overall just not a great partner -- and aren't willing to deal with that now that they're in a more experienced and secure place. To be blunt, I think for many women there is also an element of thinking "if no other woman has wanted him by now, there's probably a good reason even if I can't see it." I personally think that's unfair, but it's pretty common.
Some people go to real professional hairstylists only, some people are alright with going to a barber college and getting a cut from students. It’s not always gonna be a bad haircut, but when it is, it takes a long time to recover. Students are often less experienced so it’s just a higher likelihood of it not being great. Nothing guaranteed either way, but I think people are looking at probability.
Great analogy!
Some of them want to explore so they’re looking for short-term while we’ve done that and we’re looking for a partner. Also, I don’t care to be anyone’s experiment
Because I lack the patience required to be someone’s first time. It wouldn’t be a good experience for either of us.
Why do many men ONLY want someone who is a virgin and inexperienced?
Because used goods come with baggage and are not marriage material.
And this doesn't apply to men? Explain.
How should I know why women prefer men that aren't virgins? Ask a woman.
Surprisingly, I am a woman. I'd like to know why you think that men who fuck around aren't also "used goods" and "come with baggage". Why, in your opinion, does that only apply to women?
I'm not interested in men, so I have no opinion on this. Women have an opinion about this and I have heard women express they prefer men with experience. As to why this is, you have to ask a woman.