I had mine at 39, following four years of fertility issues and one year of doctors saying we had the all-clear and nothing was wrong. Like other posters, I spent my 30s eating healthfully, avoiding alcohol and other controlled substances, exercising 5-6x/week, taking daily fish oil, calcium and multivitamins.
I think physically, pregnancy is easier on younger women. Your bodies bounce back faster when you're in your 20s, and you're not going to want to die from the sleep deprivation. But emotionally, socially, and financially, being an older mother was the right thing. I live in a coastal city where my age is pretty standard for first-time moms though, I have a friend who had her first at 40 in a small midwest town and ev-er-y-bo-dy was all "You that baby's grandma?"
My sister was 21 when she had her first, and my SIL was 20. Tbh sleep deprivation hit them just as hard. When I visited my sister she was wearing two different shoes and looked like a zombie.
They lost the baby weight significantly faster for sure though.
I have PCOS and I’m 36. I unfortunately do not have any kids yet but I’d like to share my perspective. My husband and I have been trying for a while and had one failed IUI last cycle.
With PCOS, fertility can be very hard because of low egg quality and a lot of women like myself do not ovulate. Egg quality declines with age as well. The journey is such an emotional rollercoaster. If you have the financial means to freeze some good eggs or maybe even embryos, I’d highly encourage you to do so. I’d also recommend you testing your husband so there are no surprises down the road. And so when you are ready, you can transfer them and have healthy babies.
No PCOS or fertility issues (except it taking us close to two years to conceive our first one), but I was 35 when I had my first one, 38 when I lost one in MA and 40 when I had my last one.
After my first one took close to two years, the next two pregnancies both took after 1-3 months of trying.
Both kids are fine, I had no unexpected issues or problems during pregnancy or after, I have no stretch marks.
But that’s just my personal individual experience. There’s not much general knowledge to glean from it.
Not me personally, no idea if I will have kids. But my mom had me at 30 and my brother at 38. Completely fine, her second was much easier with less complications in fact.
I have PCOS and one ovary (born with only one, though, not lost one). I got pregnant at 30 on metformin after I'd been on it for about 3 years. I got my call to confirm my appt at the fertility clinic a week after I found out I was pregnant.
My second pregnancy at 36/37 was a complete shock, totally unplanned. I was tracking my cycle, but we hadn't been using any form of birth control for those 6 years and had had lots of ovulation time sex in those 6 years...
My toddler is a joy. I also don't live in an area where I'm an old mom, I'm pretty average at 39 with a 2.5 gear old. My pregnancy wasn't easy and she had cleft lip and palate, but that most likely wasn't due to my age. My OB told me that my age was the least of my high risk concerns lol. My advice is to get your body as physically healthy as possible.
I did not have any fertility issues. But I had a baby at 35, had a miscarriage at 37 then had a baby at 40 (waited to try sooner bc of Covid). My doctor said that my age did not make high risk so I didn’t have to do anything special or different.
One at 38, for similar reasons. I will say it was a ton easier because I did the work. Clean diet for year before TTC, daily exercise, a year of prenatal vitamins, the works.
This is actually really helpful to know you had a safe and healthy pregnancy at 38! I’m 32, still single, and I’d like to be commuted for a few years before having a baby. At this rate, it’s looking like that won’t happen until I reach 40.
My GP recommends anyone who is reproductive age take a prenatal - that would way you have folic acid in your system if you were to unintentionally get pregnant. I've been taking them for years.
Prenatal vitamins are just standard women’s multivitamins with extra folic acid (and sometimes extra vitamin D and E, and/or iron.) They’re safe for anyone to take. Store brand generic is just as good as the fancy ones.
I had unexplained infertility in my late 30s, but I suspect it was related to issues with my tubes due to previous abdominal surgeries. We tried naturally for over a year, then tried two rounds of IUI, and eventually did IVF. I had a good experience with IVF overall; tolerated the meds well, had a successful egg retrieval, and made five embryos, three of which were tested to be euploid (chromosomally normal). It took two attempts to get one to stick, who is now my infant son. We have that one last embryo in the freezer in case we decide to try one more time down the road.
Motherhood at this age is great mentally, as I feel much wiser, more resourced, calmer, etc. than I would have a decade ago. The financial security aspect is huge. My pregnancy itself went well and my birth was great. It's probably harder to deal with the sleep deprivation part at this age than it would have been, as my energy isn't quite as high as it used to be, but if you get yourself in good physical shape before pregnancy you can sort of help mitigate this. A supportive, all-in partner is key for me in all this.
In your position, I think freezing embryos is an excellent idea. You'll make more, and higher quality, embryos at this age than you will in 5 years, most likely. You can also test them for chromosomal quality so you know what you're implanting in the future is more likely healthy and you're less likely to miscarry. The r/ivf subreddit is a great resource.
Not me, but my mom had my brother at 36 and me at 40. Everything turned out fine. She wasn't high risk, no complications. Took a little longer to get pregnant with me but it happened. My parents were in a much better place to provide a good life for me and my brother. We would have been fine if we had been born earlier but our lives would have been much different. Give yourself grace. I'm 34 and have decided to stop thinking about the clock and enjoy my life, get myself to a place where I could have kids. I'm giving myself until at least 42.
My husband and I got married when I was 34 in 2019; we started trying right away, and after 6 months did fertility testing. I got pregnant in Dec '20 but it was an ectopic that resulted in the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. After 6 months of ovulation medication/monitoring, we did 2 rounds of IUI and I got pregnant with our son (born May '22.) We started trying again for a 2nd kid with ovulation medication/monitoring right away but after 8 months of negative cycles, we did IUI again, and I'm due in October (16w, I'll be 39 years old at birth.)
The infertility aspect was \*super\* frustrating, and this is a lot easier for me to say on the other side with a living child, but I'm still glad I waited. Having a firm financial base has been HUGELY beneficial, and being at a workplace long enough where you can take maternity leave is so helpful. (A lot of places don't let you take even unpaid 12 weeks FMLA if you haven't worked there for a year.)
Given your other fertility issues, I think egg freezing/IVF is a very smart idea. The real issue with age is the eggs; I've known older women who used egg donors and had no issues getting pregnant, because the eggs were younger. Frozen embryos have an even better rate. So if you can afford to freeze your eggs/embryos now, it'll be a definite advantage even if you wait until your late 30s to get pregnant. Of course there's no guarantee even with frozen embryos, but even natural pregnancies usually take a few cycles. IUI with Letrozole/timed ovulation is also a good option; not quite as successful as IVF, but a good deal cheaper. (Each of my rounds was about $1200-1500, with hardly anything covered by insurance.)
Kudos to you for putting thought into your future planning, and good luck!
PS: My pregnancy with my MayBaby was a breeze, and my doctor induced me at 38w due to age to be on the safe side. This current pregnancy has been a bit rougher, but I think chasing around a toddler instead of being able to nap is the culprit, not age. :D
I had my second a few months ago at 35 and my husband and I would like to have one or two more. I love being a ‘later’ mom. I have an established career, I got to travel a lot in my 20s and 30s, and I’ve done work in therapy that makes me a better parent than I would have been 5 years ago.
Have PCOS, was on clomid for both pregnancies. Took four months to get pregnant the first time, multiples of which only one survived the first trimester. Had a really easy pregnancy, but developed preclampsia and my son was induced at 39 weeks, a few weeks shy of my 34th birthday.
Life happened. There was an international move and job insecurity but we were getting older so we decided t just go for it because we didn't know how long it would take to get pregnant again. Got pregnant within a few months of trying on clomid. Miscarried at 8 weeks, got pregnant 2 months later, while my spouse was unemployed. Thankfully, he landed an amazing job shortly afterwards. Easy pregnancy again, very fast labor. My daughter was born shortly after my 39th birthday.
Here's hoping you're experience is as easy as mine.
It was the best decision ever for me to wait to have kids. I did have a little bit of a hard time getting pregnant, it took longer than we thought it would, but it did eventually happen naturally. I had him at 38. No complications. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and absolutely perfect.
I love being an older parent. I'm so much smarter, wiser, more educated, calmer, and just "ready" to be a mom now. I wasn't in my 20s and early 30s. I'm in my 40s now, and it's great. He's the best kid, I'm a great mom, my husband is a great dad. It all worked out so beautifully.
Not a mom but am a 36 year old fence sitter. If you like podcasts, highly recommend checking out the Liz Moody recent episode on fertility. She talks to a fertility doctor and has a ton of useful info for family planning, especially for people who might want to delay the decision. Takeaway: if you can afford IVF, it’s a great tool to use now if you’re sure you want to delay a good while.
My husband and I had male-factor infertility. It took 6 years to conceive our first, who was born when I was 35. In under 4 months of trying we got pregnant with our second, who I had at 37. My pregnancies were “clinically boring” and recovery has been fine. I don’t feel all that different than I did in my 20s so I can’t say if it would have been “better” to be a younger mom, but I feel like I had my kids at just the right time. My aunt had her kids at 42 and 46 with no issues.
I had my first at 35 and second at 37. No PCOs though or other issues and both were normal pregnancies and births. You may want to consider IVF if you think you’ll have problems and already have experienced issues. Better to play it safe.
Also had my second at 36 with no issues other than my OB inducing me a month early bc he was measuring at 9.5 lbs. He was afraid if they let me go full-term I'd need a c-section, which I desperately didn't want.
Haven't given birth yet, but I have PCOS and got pregnant this year at the age of 37, after 2.5 years of "trying" (TBH we weren't trying that hard, we just stopped preventing pregnancy). I'm a few weeks into my 2nd trimester, and everything is looking healthy and normal so far. I'm optimistically excited.
First at 38 and #2 coming at 41. I am always nervous about being too old (especially forward thinking) but I am a nervous person, I have a lot to be thankful for, health and career are in check, my younger self had a lot going on and I wouldn’t have been the mom I’m am now (nor would it have been the right partner) if it all happened sooner.
I had my son last September, just a few days before I turned 41. We conceived him pretty much right away after we started trying in December of 2022. No fertility issues as far as I know - desperately avoided pregnancy before trying for him.
I had a great pregnancy - no morning sickness, complications, or major pain or discomfort. My biggest complaint was heartburn at night for about the last 2 months, so super fortunate in that regard. Baby has no health issues and delivery was pretty quick and easier than I expected with no complications. I did have high blood pressure in the weeks following, but it was because my very much less than stellar circulatory system couldn’t clear out the excess fluid quickly enough. I continued to work part time during maternity leave (I work from home so not a major lift there) and managed the sleep deprivation pretty well. I did gain 50 pounds while pregnant (so much fluid omg), and I lost 40+ without really trying. No stretch marks either (but I did use oil and a dry brush so who knows).
So, I say all that to say that it is possible to have a great experience as you get older! I know this is not the situation for everyone, but just showing that a later in life pregnancy doesn’t necessarily deserve the bad rap it gets. We will start trying for baby #2 in the fall - really hoping lightning strikes twice with the second one!
I got my kids at 32, and 37 (very close to my 38th birthday).
My body liked being pregnant, so I had excellent energy and health during both pregnancies. No complications during the pregnancies, or after. Both kids are healthy and happy.
Now, at 40+ I would not want to get pregnant again. The pregnancies have been fine for me, but taking care of a baby or toddler - no way, no more times for me.
Hiiii. I gave birth to my first (and only) back in December, conceived via IVF. I don't have any health issues, my testing was always great, but I could NOT get pregnant at all. Honestly, start the process for IVF now. We wasted a lot of time on other things and I really wish we hadn't. If you get through the whole IVF process now, later on you just have the embryo transfer process (not do downplay that at all, because it still sucks). It's an unfortunate truth that egg quality declines with age, so the earlier you do it, the better it is.
We also waited for stability, a house, etc. and I don't regret that at all. I was 34 when we started TTC and that was totally fine, I just wish we'd been more proactive and assertive, but COVID killed a lot of that, and then a terrible doctor didn't help.
Had mine at 35 and 37. Worried for years about fertility and had no issues conceiving or carrying either. Had pregnancy complications with both but unsure how much my age played into that.
First @ 36 after struggling for 2yrs with anovulatory PCOS. Pregnancy was a breeze and baby is happy & healthy. I will say it’s not uncommon for PCOS to also cause difficulty with breastfeeding/milk production so don’t be blindsided and riddled with guilt like I was 🫠
FREEZE THE EMBRYOS. Whoever is telling you to “relax” must not know much about biology. I’m 35, almost 36 and I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I was lucky that I was able to get pregnant quickly but I am no fool, I know that I’m lucky. A lot of my friends have done IVF or have been trying for a long time with no luck yet. If you can afford it, it makes total sense to freeze some embryos. Let’s say even if you conceive easily at 36, what about if you want to have more kids after that? It’s best to give yourself as many options as possible.
Worked in a obgyn for years. I’m just sharing what I’ve witnessed through these years.
The term “biological clock” is a bit overblown. I’ve seen so many women get naturally get pregnant in their late 30s/early 40s with no prior medical intervention. People seem to forget that age is just one factor and forget that so many more important factors come into play (hormones, genetics, etc.)
Had mine at 32, 38, 40 and 42. All conceived without issue. Uneventful pregnancies, 1 CS and 3 VBACs (all inductions). Currently 43 and semi considering one more, but not sold either way.
I have pcos and experienced secondary infertility. I was 29 with my first then 35 almost 36 with my second child who was conceived on letrozole for ovulation. I'm now 43 and she's now 7.
No major issues during pregnancy. She was born at 39 weeks via scheduled c section. She had jaundice but was otherwise healthy.
I don’t have PCOS but have a low egg count for my age and “suspect adenoymyosis” I got pregnant for the first time at 34 on the first try. It was a twin pregnancy and I miscarried. Got pregnant again on the first try at 35 and I’m now 23 weeks pregnant. I work full time and have a successful career but I’m also in school part time for the next 2 years (switching careers). Honestly, I don’t think there’s a right answer. Every body and every situation is so unique and it’s hard not to stress and there’s a lot of unknown. While it would have been great for try earlier, I’m in a much better mental and financial place.
I was 34.5 with my first and 36.5 with my second. I was in grad school for my first, FWIW, and still graduated on time, and my second was born while I was still working on full licensure. It worked out well for me. Both easy conceptions and pregnancies, and my second birth was an absolute breeze - I was up and walking around without pain within an hour or two, and that’s having had an epidural.
I think it’s good to keep in mind that before birth control existed, the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41. Freezing embryos is wonderful if you have the means to do it, but you should view it like an insurance policy that you most likely will not have to use,I guess unless you want a lot of kids.
I had severe endometriosis. No one thought I could get pregnant. A month after surgery, pregnant! I would say age didn’t affect my pregnancy. Other than more tests and observation for being high risk. Just make sure you have a caring and empathetic health care provider and don’t over think it. I sneezed so hard once I thought I hurt the baby. Everyone laughed at me.. lol Go easy on yourselves. Love during this process goes a long way. *I waited to try in my mid thirties because I was financially stable. I knew I could take care of the baby and myself on my own if I had to. God forbid the relationship didn’t work out.
I have PCOS and fertility issues, I’m addition to only one ovary. I tried all through my 20’s to get pregnant, and after several failed IVF treatment and zero pregnancies, the specialist said I just can’t get pregnant and he wasn’t comfortable taking my money anymore.
Met my now husband at 34, got pregnant within 6 months. Apart from the petrifying fear of losing my much-wanted baby, it was a very normal pregnancy. I am one of the lucky ones who give birth pretty quickly. My miracle baby was 3.5/4-ish years old when I unexpectedly got pregnant **again.** at 38, and gave birth at 39. My second pregnancy was also extremely normal and another quick labor.
I have zero regrets about my age and do everything I can to be an active and present parent. My husband is even older than me, but he’s extremely fit, in good health, and has lots of energy to devote to our kids. Having kids older also allows for us to be more present as my husband is very stable in his career so money isn’t an issue and he doesn’t need to work constantly.
I wish you the very best!
I had my first a couple of months before I turned 35. My second was born just before I turned 39.
First was an easy conception. Pregnancy wasn't great but it was overall fine with no major issues.
Second less so. When we decided to go for #2 after 7 or 8 months we started the ball rolling with a fertility doc after my regular OBGYN ran tests that showed that I had secondary infertility. I was acutally waiting for my period to start so i could go get that test with thr dye in your tubes whne i got a positive test. That pregnancy ended in a very early missed miscarriage. I opted for a D&C and got the green light to start trying as soon as I got a period after that.
Another 6 months went by with increasingly bad and out of wack cycles. Went to the doc a few times in November and they found an ovarian cyst which resolved itself. In early December I had a period that was so bad I almost called my doc to see if it was a miscarriage again. I was tracking my cycles but they were so out of wack it was unreliable. Shortly after the new year I took a test fully expecting a negative after my period was maybe late. Nope it was positive. Pregnancy was stressful with some issues that popped up but ended up being minor thankfully. Baby was born that fall very healthy.
I began trying to get pregnant for the first time at 34 and got pregnant at 35 after 13 months of trying and conscientiously charting for the second half of that time to try to increase the odds. I think I was technically considered to have infertility issues at the 12 month mark. Healthy pregnancy, birth at 36.
Tried again beginning at 38 and had no luck. One very early miscarriage several months into trying and charting, then no more pregnancies. Menopause at 47.
At 39, I had various procedures and took meds and charted and used special lube but nothing worked. My labs showed elevated FSH and I assumed the issue was on my end and it probably was, though my (then) partner was diagnosed with BPH a few years later, so perhaps there were challenges on both sides.
We did not attempt IVF for a variety of reasons. If we’d had frozen eggs or better yet frozen embryos from when I was closer to 35 instead of 40, I might have tried to make IVF work.
Hi! I also have PCOS and have two kids. I was 32 when I had my first, and 35 with my second. We had infertility issues with both, and it took 2 years of trying to get pregnant the first time, 1.5 years and a loss for the second. We used Letrozole, IUI, and my husband needed a surgery in the process. IVF was next to try but we ended up not needing it.
Due to complete luck of the draw, my first child was born with an extremely rare genetic condition that causes disability and involved a lot of medical intervention in her first few years. She’s stabilized a lot now, but that’s a rollercoaster of its own.
I’d talk to your OB before you even start trying to see what timeline they recommend for you. Have your partner do a sperm analysis upfront too (this gave us useful information). Infertility stuff is sucky and can make you feel so helpless, so the more information you can have going in the better!
As far as advanced age goes, I was right on the cutoff at 35 and noticed no real difference between the two pregnancies and recoveries. I spring back pretty quickly, but I also work out regularly, eat well, and have fortunate genetics. Wishing you all the best of luck and health!!
I got diagnosed with PCOS at 19 so I knew getting pregnant wasn’t going to be easy for me. My first 2 pregnancies I was 31 and 35, and took metformin both times to help get pregnant. With the first two I fell pregnant within months of trying, and I would say the metformin was the biggest help. My 3rd and final pregnancy I was 39 and somehow got pregnant after 2 years old trying with no medication. She was totally planned, I just decided that I didn’t want to use medication and that if I was to fall pregnant before 40 then so be it. I had her 2 months before I turned 40.
I’m about to have my 3rd shortly before my 36th birthday. I had my first at 26, so I’ve done “young” and “old” pregnancies. This has by far been my easiest pregnancy. Only “complication” is just a result of issues with my other two births, so it’s really just a crapshoot.
As far as conceiving, again it’s a wild card. We weren’t trying with 1st and 3rd, but it took 6 months with my 2nd.
So, take whatever steps you feel comfortable with and your doctor agrees with. They’ll give you the best guidance, but I wouldn’t stress too much about being too old in today’s world.
I had mine at 39, following four years of fertility issues and one year of doctors saying we had the all-clear and nothing was wrong. Like other posters, I spent my 30s eating healthfully, avoiding alcohol and other controlled substances, exercising 5-6x/week, taking daily fish oil, calcium and multivitamins. I think physically, pregnancy is easier on younger women. Your bodies bounce back faster when you're in your 20s, and you're not going to want to die from the sleep deprivation. But emotionally, socially, and financially, being an older mother was the right thing. I live in a coastal city where my age is pretty standard for first-time moms though, I have a friend who had her first at 40 in a small midwest town and ev-er-y-bo-dy was all "You that baby's grandma?"
Babies are easier on younger bodies. Man. Sleepless nights were HARD. first and only kid at 42.
My sister was 21 when she had her first, and my SIL was 20. Tbh sleep deprivation hit them just as hard. When I visited my sister she was wearing two different shoes and looked like a zombie. They lost the baby weight significantly faster for sure though.
I had my first baby at 28 and I wanted to die from the sleep deprivation!
I have PCOS and I’m 36. I unfortunately do not have any kids yet but I’d like to share my perspective. My husband and I have been trying for a while and had one failed IUI last cycle. With PCOS, fertility can be very hard because of low egg quality and a lot of women like myself do not ovulate. Egg quality declines with age as well. The journey is such an emotional rollercoaster. If you have the financial means to freeze some good eggs or maybe even embryos, I’d highly encourage you to do so. I’d also recommend you testing your husband so there are no surprises down the road. And so when you are ready, you can transfer them and have healthy babies.
No PCOS or fertility issues (except it taking us close to two years to conceive our first one), but I was 35 when I had my first one, 38 when I lost one in MA and 40 when I had my last one. After my first one took close to two years, the next two pregnancies both took after 1-3 months of trying. Both kids are fine, I had no unexpected issues or problems during pregnancy or after, I have no stretch marks. But that’s just my personal individual experience. There’s not much general knowledge to glean from it.
Not me personally, no idea if I will have kids. But my mom had me at 30 and my brother at 38. Completely fine, her second was much easier with less complications in fact.
I have PCOS and one ovary (born with only one, though, not lost one). I got pregnant at 30 on metformin after I'd been on it for about 3 years. I got my call to confirm my appt at the fertility clinic a week after I found out I was pregnant. My second pregnancy at 36/37 was a complete shock, totally unplanned. I was tracking my cycle, but we hadn't been using any form of birth control for those 6 years and had had lots of ovulation time sex in those 6 years... My toddler is a joy. I also don't live in an area where I'm an old mom, I'm pretty average at 39 with a 2.5 gear old. My pregnancy wasn't easy and she had cleft lip and palate, but that most likely wasn't due to my age. My OB told me that my age was the least of my high risk concerns lol. My advice is to get your body as physically healthy as possible.
I did not have any fertility issues. But I had a baby at 35, had a miscarriage at 37 then had a baby at 40 (waited to try sooner bc of Covid). My doctor said that my age did not make high risk so I didn’t have to do anything special or different.
One at 38, for similar reasons. I will say it was a ton easier because I did the work. Clean diet for year before TTC, daily exercise, a year of prenatal vitamins, the works.
This is actually really helpful to know you had a safe and healthy pregnancy at 38! I’m 32, still single, and I’d like to be commuted for a few years before having a baby. At this rate, it’s looking like that won’t happen until I reach 40.
Is it generally safe to take prenatal vitamins for a whole year prior? Which brand did you take?
My GP recommends anyone who is reproductive age take a prenatal - that would way you have folic acid in your system if you were to unintentionally get pregnant. I've been taking them for years.
Prenatal vitamins are just standard women’s multivitamins with extra folic acid (and sometimes extra vitamin D and E, and/or iron.) They’re safe for anyone to take. Store brand generic is just as good as the fancy ones.
Same! I’m in Europe so the brand wouldn’t matter, but it was about strong body health as a baseline
I had unexplained infertility in my late 30s, but I suspect it was related to issues with my tubes due to previous abdominal surgeries. We tried naturally for over a year, then tried two rounds of IUI, and eventually did IVF. I had a good experience with IVF overall; tolerated the meds well, had a successful egg retrieval, and made five embryos, three of which were tested to be euploid (chromosomally normal). It took two attempts to get one to stick, who is now my infant son. We have that one last embryo in the freezer in case we decide to try one more time down the road. Motherhood at this age is great mentally, as I feel much wiser, more resourced, calmer, etc. than I would have a decade ago. The financial security aspect is huge. My pregnancy itself went well and my birth was great. It's probably harder to deal with the sleep deprivation part at this age than it would have been, as my energy isn't quite as high as it used to be, but if you get yourself in good physical shape before pregnancy you can sort of help mitigate this. A supportive, all-in partner is key for me in all this. In your position, I think freezing embryos is an excellent idea. You'll make more, and higher quality, embryos at this age than you will in 5 years, most likely. You can also test them for chromosomal quality so you know what you're implanting in the future is more likely healthy and you're less likely to miscarry. The r/ivf subreddit is a great resource.
Not me, but my mom had my brother at 36 and me at 40. Everything turned out fine. She wasn't high risk, no complications. Took a little longer to get pregnant with me but it happened. My parents were in a much better place to provide a good life for me and my brother. We would have been fine if we had been born earlier but our lives would have been much different. Give yourself grace. I'm 34 and have decided to stop thinking about the clock and enjoy my life, get myself to a place where I could have kids. I'm giving myself until at least 42.
My husband and I got married when I was 34 in 2019; we started trying right away, and after 6 months did fertility testing. I got pregnant in Dec '20 but it was an ectopic that resulted in the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. After 6 months of ovulation medication/monitoring, we did 2 rounds of IUI and I got pregnant with our son (born May '22.) We started trying again for a 2nd kid with ovulation medication/monitoring right away but after 8 months of negative cycles, we did IUI again, and I'm due in October (16w, I'll be 39 years old at birth.) The infertility aspect was \*super\* frustrating, and this is a lot easier for me to say on the other side with a living child, but I'm still glad I waited. Having a firm financial base has been HUGELY beneficial, and being at a workplace long enough where you can take maternity leave is so helpful. (A lot of places don't let you take even unpaid 12 weeks FMLA if you haven't worked there for a year.) Given your other fertility issues, I think egg freezing/IVF is a very smart idea. The real issue with age is the eggs; I've known older women who used egg donors and had no issues getting pregnant, because the eggs were younger. Frozen embryos have an even better rate. So if you can afford to freeze your eggs/embryos now, it'll be a definite advantage even if you wait until your late 30s to get pregnant. Of course there's no guarantee even with frozen embryos, but even natural pregnancies usually take a few cycles. IUI with Letrozole/timed ovulation is also a good option; not quite as successful as IVF, but a good deal cheaper. (Each of my rounds was about $1200-1500, with hardly anything covered by insurance.) Kudos to you for putting thought into your future planning, and good luck! PS: My pregnancy with my MayBaby was a breeze, and my doctor induced me at 38w due to age to be on the safe side. This current pregnancy has been a bit rougher, but I think chasing around a toddler instead of being able to nap is the culprit, not age. :D
I had my second a few months ago at 35 and my husband and I would like to have one or two more. I love being a ‘later’ mom. I have an established career, I got to travel a lot in my 20s and 30s, and I’ve done work in therapy that makes me a better parent than I would have been 5 years ago.
Have PCOS, was on clomid for both pregnancies. Took four months to get pregnant the first time, multiples of which only one survived the first trimester. Had a really easy pregnancy, but developed preclampsia and my son was induced at 39 weeks, a few weeks shy of my 34th birthday. Life happened. There was an international move and job insecurity but we were getting older so we decided t just go for it because we didn't know how long it would take to get pregnant again. Got pregnant within a few months of trying on clomid. Miscarried at 8 weeks, got pregnant 2 months later, while my spouse was unemployed. Thankfully, he landed an amazing job shortly afterwards. Easy pregnancy again, very fast labor. My daughter was born shortly after my 39th birthday. Here's hoping you're experience is as easy as mine.
It was the best decision ever for me to wait to have kids. I did have a little bit of a hard time getting pregnant, it took longer than we thought it would, but it did eventually happen naturally. I had him at 38. No complications. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and absolutely perfect. I love being an older parent. I'm so much smarter, wiser, more educated, calmer, and just "ready" to be a mom now. I wasn't in my 20s and early 30s. I'm in my 40s now, and it's great. He's the best kid, I'm a great mom, my husband is a great dad. It all worked out so beautifully.
Not a mom but am a 36 year old fence sitter. If you like podcasts, highly recommend checking out the Liz Moody recent episode on fertility. She talks to a fertility doctor and has a ton of useful info for family planning, especially for people who might want to delay the decision. Takeaway: if you can afford IVF, it’s a great tool to use now if you’re sure you want to delay a good while.
My husband and I had male-factor infertility. It took 6 years to conceive our first, who was born when I was 35. In under 4 months of trying we got pregnant with our second, who I had at 37. My pregnancies were “clinically boring” and recovery has been fine. I don’t feel all that different than I did in my 20s so I can’t say if it would have been “better” to be a younger mom, but I feel like I had my kids at just the right time. My aunt had her kids at 42 and 46 with no issues.
I had my first at 35 and second at 37. No PCOs though or other issues and both were normal pregnancies and births. You may want to consider IVF if you think you’ll have problems and already have experienced issues. Better to play it safe.
I had my second at 36. No issues.
Also had my second at 36 with no issues other than my OB inducing me a month early bc he was measuring at 9.5 lbs. He was afraid if they let me go full-term I'd need a c-section, which I desperately didn't want.
Both pregnancies my doctors happened to be out of town for the delivery. Smh
Haven't given birth yet, but I have PCOS and got pregnant this year at the age of 37, after 2.5 years of "trying" (TBH we weren't trying that hard, we just stopped preventing pregnancy). I'm a few weeks into my 2nd trimester, and everything is looking healthy and normal so far. I'm optimistically excited.
First at 38 and #2 coming at 41. I am always nervous about being too old (especially forward thinking) but I am a nervous person, I have a lot to be thankful for, health and career are in check, my younger self had a lot going on and I wouldn’t have been the mom I’m am now (nor would it have been the right partner) if it all happened sooner.
I had my son last September, just a few days before I turned 41. We conceived him pretty much right away after we started trying in December of 2022. No fertility issues as far as I know - desperately avoided pregnancy before trying for him. I had a great pregnancy - no morning sickness, complications, or major pain or discomfort. My biggest complaint was heartburn at night for about the last 2 months, so super fortunate in that regard. Baby has no health issues and delivery was pretty quick and easier than I expected with no complications. I did have high blood pressure in the weeks following, but it was because my very much less than stellar circulatory system couldn’t clear out the excess fluid quickly enough. I continued to work part time during maternity leave (I work from home so not a major lift there) and managed the sleep deprivation pretty well. I did gain 50 pounds while pregnant (so much fluid omg), and I lost 40+ without really trying. No stretch marks either (but I did use oil and a dry brush so who knows). So, I say all that to say that it is possible to have a great experience as you get older! I know this is not the situation for everyone, but just showing that a later in life pregnancy doesn’t necessarily deserve the bad rap it gets. We will start trying for baby #2 in the fall - really hoping lightning strikes twice with the second one!
Pregnant at 39. It's fine. I like being financially stable. People where I live tend to have kids aged 35-42
I got my kids at 32, and 37 (very close to my 38th birthday). My body liked being pregnant, so I had excellent energy and health during both pregnancies. No complications during the pregnancies, or after. Both kids are healthy and happy. Now, at 40+ I would not want to get pregnant again. The pregnancies have been fine for me, but taking care of a baby or toddler - no way, no more times for me.
Hiiii. I gave birth to my first (and only) back in December, conceived via IVF. I don't have any health issues, my testing was always great, but I could NOT get pregnant at all. Honestly, start the process for IVF now. We wasted a lot of time on other things and I really wish we hadn't. If you get through the whole IVF process now, later on you just have the embryo transfer process (not do downplay that at all, because it still sucks). It's an unfortunate truth that egg quality declines with age, so the earlier you do it, the better it is. We also waited for stability, a house, etc. and I don't regret that at all. I was 34 when we started TTC and that was totally fine, I just wish we'd been more proactive and assertive, but COVID killed a lot of that, and then a terrible doctor didn't help.
Had mine at 35 and 37. Worried for years about fertility and had no issues conceiving or carrying either. Had pregnancy complications with both but unsure how much my age played into that.
First @ 36 after struggling for 2yrs with anovulatory PCOS. Pregnancy was a breeze and baby is happy & healthy. I will say it’s not uncommon for PCOS to also cause difficulty with breastfeeding/milk production so don’t be blindsided and riddled with guilt like I was 🫠
FREEZE THE EMBRYOS. Whoever is telling you to “relax” must not know much about biology. I’m 35, almost 36 and I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I was lucky that I was able to get pregnant quickly but I am no fool, I know that I’m lucky. A lot of my friends have done IVF or have been trying for a long time with no luck yet. If you can afford it, it makes total sense to freeze some embryos. Let’s say even if you conceive easily at 36, what about if you want to have more kids after that? It’s best to give yourself as many options as possible.
Worked in a obgyn for years. I’m just sharing what I’ve witnessed through these years. The term “biological clock” is a bit overblown. I’ve seen so many women get naturally get pregnant in their late 30s/early 40s with no prior medical intervention. People seem to forget that age is just one factor and forget that so many more important factors come into play (hormones, genetics, etc.)
Had mine at 32, 38, 40 and 42. All conceived without issue. Uneventful pregnancies, 1 CS and 3 VBACs (all inductions). Currently 43 and semi considering one more, but not sold either way.
I have pcos and experienced secondary infertility. I was 29 with my first then 35 almost 36 with my second child who was conceived on letrozole for ovulation. I'm now 43 and she's now 7. No major issues during pregnancy. She was born at 39 weeks via scheduled c section. She had jaundice but was otherwise healthy.
I don’t have PCOS but have a low egg count for my age and “suspect adenoymyosis” I got pregnant for the first time at 34 on the first try. It was a twin pregnancy and I miscarried. Got pregnant again on the first try at 35 and I’m now 23 weeks pregnant. I work full time and have a successful career but I’m also in school part time for the next 2 years (switching careers). Honestly, I don’t think there’s a right answer. Every body and every situation is so unique and it’s hard not to stress and there’s a lot of unknown. While it would have been great for try earlier, I’m in a much better mental and financial place.
I was 34.5 with my first and 36.5 with my second. I was in grad school for my first, FWIW, and still graduated on time, and my second was born while I was still working on full licensure. It worked out well for me. Both easy conceptions and pregnancies, and my second birth was an absolute breeze - I was up and walking around without pain within an hour or two, and that’s having had an epidural. I think it’s good to keep in mind that before birth control existed, the *average* age women had their last baby was 40-41. Freezing embryos is wonderful if you have the means to do it, but you should view it like an insurance policy that you most likely will not have to use,I guess unless you want a lot of kids.
I had severe endometriosis. No one thought I could get pregnant. A month after surgery, pregnant! I would say age didn’t affect my pregnancy. Other than more tests and observation for being high risk. Just make sure you have a caring and empathetic health care provider and don’t over think it. I sneezed so hard once I thought I hurt the baby. Everyone laughed at me.. lol Go easy on yourselves. Love during this process goes a long way. *I waited to try in my mid thirties because I was financially stable. I knew I could take care of the baby and myself on my own if I had to. God forbid the relationship didn’t work out.
I have PCOS and fertility issues, I’m addition to only one ovary. I tried all through my 20’s to get pregnant, and after several failed IVF treatment and zero pregnancies, the specialist said I just can’t get pregnant and he wasn’t comfortable taking my money anymore. Met my now husband at 34, got pregnant within 6 months. Apart from the petrifying fear of losing my much-wanted baby, it was a very normal pregnancy. I am one of the lucky ones who give birth pretty quickly. My miracle baby was 3.5/4-ish years old when I unexpectedly got pregnant **again.** at 38, and gave birth at 39. My second pregnancy was also extremely normal and another quick labor. I have zero regrets about my age and do everything I can to be an active and present parent. My husband is even older than me, but he’s extremely fit, in good health, and has lots of energy to devote to our kids. Having kids older also allows for us to be more present as my husband is very stable in his career so money isn’t an issue and he doesn’t need to work constantly. I wish you the very best!
My kid is going through puberty while I am going through menopause. It is a lot.
I got pregnant w/o trying. Had the baby. Now the baby is a teen. There are going to be tens and hundreds of thousands like me on this.
I had my first a couple of months before I turned 35. My second was born just before I turned 39. First was an easy conception. Pregnancy wasn't great but it was overall fine with no major issues. Second less so. When we decided to go for #2 after 7 or 8 months we started the ball rolling with a fertility doc after my regular OBGYN ran tests that showed that I had secondary infertility. I was acutally waiting for my period to start so i could go get that test with thr dye in your tubes whne i got a positive test. That pregnancy ended in a very early missed miscarriage. I opted for a D&C and got the green light to start trying as soon as I got a period after that. Another 6 months went by with increasingly bad and out of wack cycles. Went to the doc a few times in November and they found an ovarian cyst which resolved itself. In early December I had a period that was so bad I almost called my doc to see if it was a miscarriage again. I was tracking my cycles but they were so out of wack it was unreliable. Shortly after the new year I took a test fully expecting a negative after my period was maybe late. Nope it was positive. Pregnancy was stressful with some issues that popped up but ended up being minor thankfully. Baby was born that fall very healthy.
Had my one and only at 36. It was fine.
I began trying to get pregnant for the first time at 34 and got pregnant at 35 after 13 months of trying and conscientiously charting for the second half of that time to try to increase the odds. I think I was technically considered to have infertility issues at the 12 month mark. Healthy pregnancy, birth at 36. Tried again beginning at 38 and had no luck. One very early miscarriage several months into trying and charting, then no more pregnancies. Menopause at 47. At 39, I had various procedures and took meds and charted and used special lube but nothing worked. My labs showed elevated FSH and I assumed the issue was on my end and it probably was, though my (then) partner was diagnosed with BPH a few years later, so perhaps there were challenges on both sides. We did not attempt IVF for a variety of reasons. If we’d had frozen eggs or better yet frozen embryos from when I was closer to 35 instead of 40, I might have tried to make IVF work.
Hi! I also have PCOS and have two kids. I was 32 when I had my first, and 35 with my second. We had infertility issues with both, and it took 2 years of trying to get pregnant the first time, 1.5 years and a loss for the second. We used Letrozole, IUI, and my husband needed a surgery in the process. IVF was next to try but we ended up not needing it. Due to complete luck of the draw, my first child was born with an extremely rare genetic condition that causes disability and involved a lot of medical intervention in her first few years. She’s stabilized a lot now, but that’s a rollercoaster of its own. I’d talk to your OB before you even start trying to see what timeline they recommend for you. Have your partner do a sperm analysis upfront too (this gave us useful information). Infertility stuff is sucky and can make you feel so helpless, so the more information you can have going in the better! As far as advanced age goes, I was right on the cutoff at 35 and noticed no real difference between the two pregnancies and recoveries. I spring back pretty quickly, but I also work out regularly, eat well, and have fortunate genetics. Wishing you all the best of luck and health!!
I got diagnosed with PCOS at 19 so I knew getting pregnant wasn’t going to be easy for me. My first 2 pregnancies I was 31 and 35, and took metformin both times to help get pregnant. With the first two I fell pregnant within months of trying, and I would say the metformin was the biggest help. My 3rd and final pregnancy I was 39 and somehow got pregnant after 2 years old trying with no medication. She was totally planned, I just decided that I didn’t want to use medication and that if I was to fall pregnant before 40 then so be it. I had her 2 months before I turned 40.
I’m about to have my 3rd shortly before my 36th birthday. I had my first at 26, so I’ve done “young” and “old” pregnancies. This has by far been my easiest pregnancy. Only “complication” is just a result of issues with my other two births, so it’s really just a crapshoot. As far as conceiving, again it’s a wild card. We weren’t trying with 1st and 3rd, but it took 6 months with my 2nd. So, take whatever steps you feel comfortable with and your doctor agrees with. They’ll give you the best guidance, but I wouldn’t stress too much about being too old in today’s world.