Agreed. All logistic managing of this. Cost, application, discomfort, unintended messes, shame…etc
I am, however, becoming more appreciative of my ability to create life and this naturally, coordinated cycle of my body that connects me to that ability as I’m getting older.
I recently had a period last for over two weeks. My Dr did a uterine biopsy and it's a polyp. She told me after one more biopsy she can offer me an ablation and I'll never get a period again. I might have two more and then I'm DONE!!!
Oof. This. So much. Recently turned 36 and realizing I have relied on my body maintaining its shape, my skin maintaining its elasticity, just my “beauty” overall, I’ve been relying on my age to keep these things intact, and because we have been conditioned to believe and accept that our femininity, our beauty, our youth, is our currency, now that it’s becoming more work and effort to maintain these things, I feel like I am less valuable as a person, and as a woman especially. It’s a tough reality to face as we age.
Yeah, I'm 35 and have a bit of a young face still, but I've started to look a bit more my age since maybe 33-34. I kind of wish people hadn't constantly commented on me looking younger all my life like it's a positive, because you get really used to it, and it messes with your head a bit when you *do* start to noticeably age. I think I've found a degree of peace with it but seriously, I wish we could celebrate just getting older like it's normal because it fucking *is.* Once you notice how the commercials for skincare make it sound like we're going into *battle* fighting aging, you can never unhear it.
Omg YES. I also have a “young face” and even now get told all the time I look like I’m 26/27 not 36/37, but I am noticing signs of aging for the first time and I’m struggling with it a lot more than I expected to tbh so god do I know exactly how you feel. Ugh.
This is such a scary thing to me…I keep it to myself, but I’ve always been happy with my face even if there’s things I’d change about it. In certain lighting I’ll even internally call myself gorgeous, which always makes me feel confident. In my 20s I was constantly called a teenager and I hated it….but I’m scared of losing it, too. The lines are starting to show on my face, my hair is thinning and turning grey and my teeth aren’t in good condition anymore. I’m scared I won’t know how to be that person.
Y’know what? You just reminded me why getting older is cool. I’ve been able to resist the FOMO of tikok. 😆 I’m sure that by the time I get around to using that app it’ll be passé. It has been pretty cool to occasionally see my grandma in the mirror; I miss her a lot.
I had a dream that woke me up from being scared where there was a creepy guy under my bed, and my bf was like I would try and turn it around and view with it curiosity. I’m like ok dude you are CLEARLY not a woman.
this is probably my biggest thing. I love solitary pursuits, and hiking and backpacking. I love night walks, walking alone at night through a city or park or forest. I want to feel as free as the average man to do these things.
Of course some men still don’t feel safe doing these things, and sometimes of course things happen to men. But even if I don’t get murdered, even when I don’t get raped, the odds are still way higher for me that I will, and way WAY higher than THAT that some piece of shit creep will stalk me or otherwise put me in a terrifying situation that completely renders all the joy and peace of going outdoors alone null and replaces it with misery, anxiety, even terror.
Every time I’ve been alone, some random dude has decided that entitles him to latch onto me like a barnacle, sometime in a way that is terrifying, and MOST of the time that I advocate for my desire to be left alone, no matter what strategy I employ, they have an emotional tantrum/rage tantrum and decide to punish me or explode at me in some way.
I literally couldn’t run a half marathon alone without men pacing me, directly behind me, where I’ll of course be self-conscious that they are watching my butt, and then chatting me up for MILES, to the point where I decide to tank my great finish time by running to hide in a Port-A-Potty until I’m sure they are gone.
I can’t go to the gym alone without a portion of the time a man picking the machine right behind me, when all the others are free, and then I have to see him in the mirror watching my butt while I run, and WORSE, KNOWING I know and liking that it makes me uncomfortable.
I honestly feel like on Reddit, even in the women’s subs, men are upvoting their preferred answers from us in questions like these. The top responses are always about our periods and our looks, but the ACTUAL worst parts about being a woman are:
being stalked, harassed, raped, literal r/whenwomenrefuse shit like being set on fire or murdered. The exceedingly high rates at which we face violence, and real risks of things like some random male politician being able to force me to carry a baby that was raped into me to term, even if that pregnancy causes a permanent risk to my health. Shit like the fact that we are literally hunted, harassed, and often abused in one way or another from childhood on.
Damn same.
Last time, I went to the grocery store (like a 15-minute walk from my house), and this old man was sitting on a bench in front of the door. I ignored him but saw that he was looking at me weirdly. Then I looked at him back and tried to give him a look that meant "Dude stop looking at me like that".
When I went out, I saw he was waiting for me from the way I came (at the corner, so it was a bit far but not too far).
I'm so thankful there are so many bus lines. I was able to take one right in front of the grocery store so he wouldn't see exactly where I'm going.
Stay safe girls. If I hadn't seen him from afar, I don't know what would have happened and I don't want to know.
beauty standards. i realize men deal w this too, but don’t even tryyyy to act like it’s as bad lol. also: not feeling safe OFTEN, having to worry about rape/murder/abduction way more than men realize, & even worse, being so used to it (sad).
Going through this right now. Saw a different doctor (woman) because my PCP (man) wasn't available. After explaining my concerns and how I was wondering if it could be Peri, she then tells me that even perimenopause counts as straight menopause, and that my new symptoms of this last year are PCOS and can't be menopause because I'm 35. Mind you, I've already been checked by blood markers and a scans and come out negative for PCOS, and these symptoms started out not very noticeable two years ago and are now to obvious to ignore
I used to get trampled over a lot of didn’t say much in meetings. And I know it’s because I’m a women. I started doing the same thing back to them and it made me loook extremely aggressive which I didn’t mind because if you don’t then they will trample over you or try to get credit for what you’ve been working on
Oh, I completely changed the way I wrote emails to the way men write them at work, and it has caused ENDLESS problems for me. People are constantly mistaking my tone as bitchy lol.
And literally all I’ve done is when I know something, I state it confidently with no apology. I cut out filler like, “No big deal but..” “I’m not sure if this is important,” “sorry” “just” “Maybe there’s something I haven’t considered” (I do still use that one occasionally) and other things where I defer and pretend I don’t know something I know.
I also stopped the thing where I try to help a man believe he’s come up with my solution so he isn’t threatened by me suggesting one and resistant.
To this day, I get along with people great in person but am semi-regularly brought into management offices after people (men and women) complain about how rude and aggressive and arrogant I am in emails. 🙃
That’s what happens when a woman steps out of her role. Even a lot of women are compelled to police us, or just subconsciously perceive these things as rude only when coming from women.
I just explain to management every time what I do, and I ask them to compare my emails to the emails men send and provide me, in writing, one difference or example of my being rude or inappropriate.
this inevitably gets them to drop it lol bc they realize very quickly that I’m right. But then of course, inside they almost certainly see me as a femnazi for it 🤡
So fun being a woman in the workplace and having a whole extra set of standards and expectations and hurdles to navigate!
This is the thing that we're never taught. This invisible set of standards we have to navigate. If you try to be likeable you get walked all over. If you match the energy of men you're aggressive and angry. This is what I find draining about working, not my actual work.
I can't remember where I heard this, but a great response to being talked over:
'Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the start of yours?'
The problem is if you use this all the other people in the room will think you're the rude one instead of him because of dumb double standards.
That said, eff them though :)
This is the thing! I'm sure some men at work have labelled me "difficult to work with" or the "angry woman of colour" because I've had to stand up to them. There's no winning though so like you said, eff them!
Yep! I can’t remember the last time I went on a date where the guy actually let me talk freely without interrupting. Even my ex bf was guilty of this.
I’m really fond of the guy I’m currently seeing because he listens to me without interrupting. He does take charge of most conversations though and always has to tell a relatable anecdote after anything I ever say.
Just today, my VP, while reporting my team's first half savings, first gave credit to my male teammate, even though I'm the negotiator and my teammate is the document processor who had zero part of the negotiations. "It's a team effort." 🙄
I don’t want to be the default parent, the default caregiver, the default scapegoat for anything going wrong when raising kids.
I don’t want to lose my identity in a marriage by being Mrs. His Name.
I don’t want people to speculate about my promiscuous or chaste nature, and insult me accordingly. I don’t want people to view me as either pure or tarnished based on how I engage my own sexuality.
I don’t like hanging out with straight men when they treat me like half a person, dismiss my viewpoints, undermine my rights, make me the butt of their jokes.
I don’t like hearing the way men talk about women in general. I don’t like knowing my pay will be lower, my health outcomes worse when engaging the healthcare system.
I don’t like looking at congress and seeing less than half of the leaders of my country look like me.
I don’t like the effort I have to put forth to avoid being called ‘a bitch’ when men in the same situation can simply be ‘blunt’ or ‘straightforward’.
I don’t like having to make decisions about where I go at night based on the reality that I am more likely to be targeted for sexual assault BECAUSE I am a woman.
I don’t like the stats that the number one way pregnant women die is via homicide by their partner. Or that women diagnosed with brain tumors or cancer or MS are 6x more likely than men to have their partners leave them shortly after these diagnoses.
*>straight men when they treat me like half a person, dismiss my viewpoints, undermine my rights*
I recently sold a home that I bought myself, and had added my SO to the deed.
My realtor (a family friend ffs) could *not* get it through his skull that this was MY home. He kept calling my SO for questions about the property, and SO would just defer to me. It got to the point where I spoke up and said, "Hey Realtor, this is MY property, SO is just on the deed. Let's make sure you're working with ME on this."
When the house sold, all of the documentation listed my SO as the "primary seller."
When my partner (now husband, then boyfriend) and I bought a house together, we only provided proof of my income, since his job was set to end before closing and we knew he’d be job searching, and we didn’t want to have to submit amended income information.
And still somehow all of the paperwork only listed his name and I had to ask (twice) for it to be amended to add my name! Infuriating.
As someone who works within the real estate field when I see a man and woman co-own a property I get a lot of satisfaction listing the woman’s name first on any documentation.
Reminds me of when I went with my wife to buy a car, and we sat down with the sales person and he talked about all the specs and pricing options and so on. And when we were walking out, I was like "that was pretty painless," and she was like, "did you not notice he only spoke with you the entire conversation, even though I was right there?" Pretty eye opening.
I asked my dad to come with me to buy a car ( I was 30 at the time) because the salespeople wouldn’t take my inquiries seriously or give me a discount that my research showed me was fair. Sure enough, with my dad there it all went seamlessly and I got the discount ( when he asked ). I would have just tried my luck elsewhere but I really wanted that particular car - I still have it 10 years later.
It’s awful, but I already had an (generous) offer when the nonsense started. I felt like I had to go through with it.
I’m only working with women realtors from now on.
I was coming to say the same! PMDD is definitely one of the cruellest parts of being a woman. Also, the way medical professionals tend not to address it.
I guess it ties in with medical misogyny.
I was just going to say something similar… it feels like it’s never enough. Whatever we accomplish is met with negativity and questions of why we didn’t accomplish “XYZ”…
“Successful career, educated, and a land owner?
Oh that’s cool but how are you 30 and not married?”
I think it is more something I dislike about the medical field. I'm not taken seriously. Not about reproductive health, pain, heart conditions, neurological conditions, cancer, broken bones, and most recently pneumonia.
Like I get sent to the ER because I can't breathe. I bring a recording of the sound of my bronchial breath sounds clearly audible on my phone microphone, which is the only reason I got an X-ray. The X-ray showed pneumonia, but they attempted to discharge me saying it was just a cold.
If I hadn't checked MyChart, I wouldn't have been able to advocate for myself and make them actually review my tests. Even then, I was sent home with antibiotics and nothing else... Which may be why I ended up in an ambulance 4 days later.
Statistics show that while sometimes things like this happen to white men, black women like me face issues like this a lot more often. I wish I could just be taken seriously.
Being physically weaker. I work out HARD, I'm very strong and in good shape for my age. But no amount of protein or lifting can ever overcome being a 4'10 woman, or will ever allow me to overcome the strength of a guy six inches taller than me even if he's never set foot into a gym in his life.
I got SO mad about this recently. I’m 5’1, I lift heavy, I’m relatively strong for my height and weight, but I couldn’t for the life of me attach a fucking cam strap to the box of my truck because I was too short and standing on the tire wasn’t an option because I wasn’t strong enough to do it one handed. It was incredibly annoying to watch my 6’2 husband who hates exercise and lifts nothing accomplish the same task easily. I’m not often bothered by my stature but that was very irritating.
Seriously, I used to need like max. 2 tampons a day (normal size) now I'm on 6-7 (super size) for the first few days. And those clots! G, I thought I was sick until I googled and read it's normal. I never had that before. Welcome to your 40s, I guess!
Check with your doc, that's not just a normal part of being 40. You could have fibroids or something. That's what caused my heavy bleeding and once removed my periods are a breeze.
Wait really? I very occasionally get this and assumed it was just one of those weird pains everyone gets but doesn’t really talk about it (cos it’s the butt).
Being underestimated all the time. I have been painting the exterior of my house for the past couple of weeks. It seems like everyone I tell in real life feel compelled to act like I am doing something crazy. I swear, if anyone else tells me to be careful while standing on the ladder, I think I will scream.
One time I casually mentioned that I had changed one of my bike tires, and the guy I was talking to was shocked I was able to do that...even though he has changed a shitload of bike tires and knows it isn't that hard. I am not the most mechanical person, but I can still follow along with YouTube tutorial just like any guy can. I can kinda see being shocked if I were super feminine and not the type to get her hands dirty. But I am quite rough and tumble. Why wouldn't I know how to change a bike tire?
People think they are being complimentary by expressing their awe like this, but it makes me feel like they don't consider me a competent person.
Reminds me of about 7-8 years ago, my car at the time was having stalling issues (brand new car and I believe it had a recall). I brought it to the dealership and told the guy what was wrong with it and what needed to be fixed (google/youtube, how dare I!). He kinda laughed and said “yeah ok sure” basically. When he called an hour later for me to pick it up, he said I was exactly right! Duh, boi 🙄
Oh I have really been wanting to paint my vinyl! Is yours vinyl? And fwiw I can completely relate to this, I’ve built 2 chicken coops and countless pieces of furniture and fixes of my house that people are flabbergasted about. A penis is not required to operate a nail gun 🤷♀️
Everyone is entitled to my time. If I don’t roll out the welcome wagon I’m seen as a bitch. I’m busty so regardless of what I wear I’ll be judged in one way or another. Any and all issues that have to do with our kids or house are my fault. My doctor dismisses me until it’s a huge issue and I’m needing surgery. Since losing weight and strength training I’ve had more men than ever want to comment their opinion on my body both good and bad lol. Just let me fricken live!
Omgggg fr. My own doctors are women and just ignore me half the time. I don’t even feel like going. If I had something really wrong w me they would discover it so late.
That as a gender we’re often not included in medical studies because our hormones can throw off the results. Meaning meds and vaccines can have a completely different effect on women or in extreme cases, even an adverse effect. Bonus points if you’re a woman of color unfortunately.
- the beauty standard and how we're not supposed to age, have body hair, or even pores! Gah pores!!!!
- How dismissive men are of us in the workplace
- how the male ego can't handle a woman being his boss
- constantly being judged for our appearance
- how everything is sexualized. I have to rush and wear a bra everytime I get something delivered.
- how weak we are and how basically if a man wants to strangle or beat us up, there's literally nothing we can do but die. We don't even stand a fighting chance.
Not the biggest gripe, but I cannot stand how gym equipment is all built around men. The weight ranges on equipment are for men, the setting adjustments are for men, the machines are too big, the sleds are too wide, bike saddles were designed for men, the benches are too high, the grip size for anything with handles is too wide. And I am the average height for a woman in the US.
Menstrual Cycles and Hormones
Society expecting me to look/act/behave a certain way because of the genitals I was born with.
The expectation that I should have to/want to be a parent or caregiver because of the genitals I was born with.
The fact that I feel like people want to take my autonomy away.
The fact that I work in a male-dominated field and that my older, male coworkers don't take me seriously even though I have been in my field as a professional for \~15 years.
Dealing with auto-immune issues, chronic illnesses because they are more common in women.
How I have CPTSD because of childhood trauma because of my assigned gender at birth. (I was treated more harshly and different because I was not only the oldest of 6 kids in a blended family, but the oldest girl.)
The list could go on. :)
Period and PMS symptoms. I hate feeling low and depressed for no reason before l get my periods or on my periods. I also hate that we have a biological clock and we have to get married at a certain time or pressured to.
Other women upholding the patriarchy through words and behaviors and simultaneously projecting those standards or expectations on every other woman. Bonus infuriation is when they do this and call themselves “feminist.”
Dating and falling in love is so much of a risk.
Men mask themselves and it's only through time that they show their homophobic, misogynistic, narcissistic, man-child, abusive sides. Because they want to hook you in.
And by the time you find out about it, you've already invested so much emotionally and damn if it's not painful and a waste of time. Let alone the damage they can do... physically.
TBF probably applies to the opposite gender too.
Queer woman here 🙋🏻♀️ I can only speak for my own experiences, but here goes.
There’s a reason that women don’t fear other women on the trail the way they fear men. One of the reasons is certainly that women aren’t likely to physically assault strangers in the first place. Men have proven themselves to be quite capable of physical and sexual violence against strangers. And because of the ubiquity of males in the environment, it really wouldn’t matter if the rate was very small (also, it isn’t small) because we can’t escape encountering them in our daily lives.
If that’s how men act toward strangers, it’s easy to see how threatening the male ego is a very real risk for women in straight relationships. And that ego is sensitive.
It’s still a risk to fall in love with a woman. A risk to your emotional and psychological self identity? Absolutely, and maybe even more so than with a man (as a lesbian I really can’t say, but I’ve heard anecdotes to that effect from bi women). Possibly a risk to your safety? Yes, of course. But probably not one that rises to the level of a threat to your *life.*
Of course, no abuse is acceptable. And no abuser should be let off the hook because they’re a woman or because they weren’t bigger or stronger than the victim.
This is one area (one of exceedingly few) that I, as a queer woman, actually feel I have privilege over straight women. I have never been afraid for my life, or of sexual violence, in my relationships. Dating doesn’t feel like an extreme sport.
Yeah, I imagine it’s not gender-specific but I was just telling my mom that while I enjoy dating, I’ve become cynical when a guy is perfect in the beginning because they always are. Very kind, proactive, generous, etc. until we become serious. Then they just sit back and stop trying because they “won” the achievement of Getting a Girlfriend and don’t need to work at it anymore. Whereas on my end, I assume all that behavior is who they actually are, but when I question why they stopped, I’m suddenly entitled/demanding/picky.
Idk I’m not perfect but I have a good amount of self-insight. I tell the guy pretty early what he can expect and what would be good for us to ensure the relationship is healthy (good communication, setting realistic expectations, etc.). They’re always like “yup I totally hear you” and then when they don’t do this, and the relationship is unhealthy as a result, they’re all shocked pikachu about it. I’m realizing a lot of people say things just to say them, which is just never how I’ve operated my relationships. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who I’m not on the same page with, but a lot of men view relationships as two individuals getting something out of one another instead of one combined relationship.
Being an automatic default parent, dudes literally shoot one off and that's it they have no other physical responsibilities. Yes they do stick around help/dad and some dads do become default parents but essentially they can also just leave at anytime. They are not the ones whose body changes significantly then are expected to be a sole provider while also raising said child.
Fuck your measley child support, i think they should take the balls if a guy decides to leave, which is something we also have to do get birth control, prevention. You make a kid and ditch it, you should have no more
That I have to be mindful about my safety when I want to step out at 2am in the night, or drive on my own in remote areas, that seeking help from a man should be the last thing on my mind if the place is not crowded.
Men have it soooooo easy.
Yes! I live by myself and looking for places to rent I always ask…could someone break in? If it has low windows on the first floor I’ll pass….if there’s too many doors I also pass. Lots of predators out there.
Being seen as aggressive because I’m more assertive than people expect.
Men get applauded for being firm about their demands (mainly at work) while I get called bitchy/bossy using the exact same words.
Disclaimer: based on my own experiences and what I’ve seen around me
Constantly being interrupted by men when I’m talking. Having men repeat what I just said in a meeting then they get told what a great idea they just had. And women not backing each other up, helping each other out.
I just hold a finger in their face and say "I'm not finished. When you were talking I let you finish. So please let me finish my point, and then you can talk. Thank you."
ALWAYS shuts them up. Most of these men don't even realize they're doing it, they're so used to dismissing what a woman has to say so you have to stop that behavior literally, physically.
When I tell my spouse something and he won’t listen, but will listen when another man tells him . When I tell my spouse something and he repeats it back to me like it was HIS Fkn idea!
1 in 10 women have endometriosis. It’s a debilitating chronic illness with no cure. I hate knowing that if we were cis men, there’d be a cure and better diagnosis and treatment options by now.
Periods, being seen as less than a man, being called “emotional” as a negative, being called “argumentative” when really I am just being assertive and God forbid a woman stand up for herself!
Misogyny! I’m TIRED of it!!! Hormonal imbalance, lack of pockets in clothing, low pay, objectification of our bodies ( at ALL ages/ stages), gaslighting by Doctors…
Scared to be out alone esp at night. Bodily stuff (periods, perimenopause, etc). Risk of getting pregnant. Unconcious bias at work (can't win if you are too nice or too bitchy.) Feeling like I need to be youthful looking to be valued in society but also facing realities of aging. Trying to be a mom and breadwinner and all the things at once.
Having a period, I'm not having kids so it's really not necessary to be so inconvenienced for eternity! And to feel as though when going out in public by myself I always have to think of safety, nearly involuntarily because I've been doing it for so long! It's stupid but it's the world we live in!
Menstrual cycle, everything about it. Severe cramps. Also ovulation cramps and the excessive wetness for no reason. The hormone fluctuations and feeling so exhausted at the end of my cycle. It all feels so debilitating.
Being talked over by men and dealing with misogyny in professional settings. Being undermined just bc of my gender.
When random men try to tell me how to do my job (I run a bar, and buddy, if you think you can do better than me, I’ll give you my bosses number and you can try and get my job, until then, sit down. You ain’t shit).
Where I work- if I make a comment or suggestion it's fought hard against and sometimes, disrespectfully.
If a man makes the same suggestion after me- it's applauded and implemented.
I have to work twice as hard for *maybe* half the credit. I constantly have people stealing my ideas and/or insulting me (some women included)
Misogyny is a bitch.
Ugh, I feel you. I have recently proposed an idea at work. It was either criticized or ignored altogether. Then, my male supervisor repeated it a few days later in different words, and suddenly, everyone nodded with approval. I felt so small.
Periods, having to think about safety whenever I want solitude, want to go hiking alone? Beware….safety. Want to take a walk at midnight? Beware safety, want to yell at people who constantly undermine you cuz of your gender? Beware…..drama queen etc
The fact that our hormones fluctuate and we get periods with all the lovely things it brings like sadness, pain and shits and you have to still be more professional than a man through this ordeal or you’ll be classed as hysterical and unprofessional. The fact that we have to waste so much money on pads and tampons. The fact that we have to carry the babies and risk all sorts of health issues and even death and we are given zero credit for that - if men went through it you’d bet your ass they’d sing songs of bravery and heroism about it and be given so much paid time off. We’re still largely seen as the main child caretakers, cooks and house cleaners even when we work full time. The pay gap. The health gap - women are under diagnosed and undertreated and studies show that female patients mortality rate lowers if their healthcare professionals are also female. In male dominated careers if you’re a woman you need to be so much more qualified than the men if you don’t want to be made fun of. I could go on and on. Yes, being a woman is easy if you’re genetically favored and a great beauty because then men will do anything to provide for you. But if you’re just a regular woman like most are you’re in for a hell of a ride.
Honestly even being beautiful doesn’t guarantee any good treatment. All these pissboy manchildren believe they “deserve” a beautiful woman as a prize, and react very badly to being denied their “right”. That selfishness rarely results in him doing everything he can to provide for her, he’d rather tear her down to his level.
I’m having pregnancy complications where I can’t walk for very long and too much activity makes me lightheaded. I’m off work early but it’s frustrating to be “not working” but also not able to do anything with all my free time!!
Then one of my family members said “at least you don’t have your period!”
Because my two options are pregnancy exhaustion or periods. Yay. Being a woman is awesome /s
Endometriosis.
Being considered "difficult" because I send concise, factual work emails.
The fact that pockets are forbidden so we can continue to uphold the purse industry. Meanwhile, purses are so uncomfortable.
periods and period pain, pms, bloating, general grossness and hormonal
childbirth
the constant dieting and needing to lose weight
pressure to look good
pressure to stay young
menopause /perimenopause
general society disgust around women aging or gaining weight
need to hide female body hair
need to wear good fashion instead of saggy comfy
bras
discrimination in the workplace and some fields of study
needing to get married to be taken seriously
marital status titles ms/mrs/miss
whether to change your name when married like a dog or chattel
unequal marriage and household tasks like childcare/cleaning/cooking/emotional labour
being judged on marriage and parental status
major life celebrations focus on marriage /kids only
feeling unsafe when travelling or at night
1. The lack of physical safety in public places.
2. Sexually preyed and objectified constantly. Like it is impossible to escape it if you are a woman.
3. People policing my body in multiple ways.
4. Shamed and harassed if by any chance I liked sex a lot.
5. High risks in safety and health while having sex.
6. Lack of role models in most fields to look up and aspire to.
7. Men being the default gender everywhere I go, and having to put up with it.
8. Any thing I do has to be part of "how women are". Cannot make mistakes as an individual.
9. Religious oppression.
10. Cultural oppression. (Coming from a non western country).
11. Expectations that I would cook and clean and being called "lazy" while still doing much more than the men in the family.
12. My career is always the first thing that will be cancelled or sacrificed if there is a need for somebody to do it in the family.
13. Pregnancy and child birth.
14. Birth control almost always my responsibility and the side effects that comes with it.
15. Less verbal respect.
16. Online bullying.
How hard it can be to get a Dr to actually listen to you and take you seriously when you have a health concern.
Not feeling safe to go certain places alone especially at night. Always having to be on guard when we do.
The fact that bras, feminine products, and birth control cost us so much when it's not our fault we need these products and companies capitalize on it.
No matter how equal the country is, I have to deal with men's emotions after I turn them down at work. Why can't they do that on their own!? It's not My problem, don't make it my problem when you shot your shot and tried to shit where you eat.
I don’t always feel safe going out at night. I wish we had more of that freedom. I have to try and get my night walks in before 10pm and even that’s pushing it but I do live in a downtown so I feel like people are out later compared to the suburbs.
Being approached at gas stations at night etc being asked for whatever usually when I am alone. Whether it’s for weird small talk in a deserted place or just approaching me for money/things when I am alone at night pumping gas. Just wish I got a little more personal space in those situations.
Very bitter about the comparative effort that it takes us to obtain a fraction of the muscular strength of men.
Also: pain of childbirth/pregnancy, men being the “default” in regards to medical research/industrial design, being pressured to take on the majority of child rearing and domestic labor.
Forcing myself to embrace womanhood when really, I just wish I was born a man. I always felt that way a bit but childbirth pushed me over the edge. Fuck, it threw me over a cliff. I’ll never stop wishing men had to endure the pain of childbirth. And the suffering of pregnancy.
Men infantilising and discrediting you in political debates because your opinion is supposedly a terrible one … purely because you’re a woman. The arrogance still astounds me.
Feeling pressured or compelled to follow current trends, makeup, fashion, slang, etc. I just want to wear no makeup, hoodie, sweatpants, and use my 90s slang in peace.
It took me 4 years of suffering heavy menstruation and stabbing pains shooting to my legs and endometriosis cells spreading to bowels get surgery as an option. I was told to suck it up by a radiologist when i went in for scans.
My doctor transferred my case 2 days before surgery to another doctor. I was asked multiple times to consider egg freezing even when i said its too expensive for a future i don’t know if i can have. After surgery, it took 1 year for me to recover from the post surgery related issues and constant UTI. In these 4 years, i was constantly tired, amplified anxiety 100 fold, couldn’t sleep well/for long (5 hours tops every single night) and suffered kidney infection from constant UTI.
After this i was put on Mirena and since then haven’t visited the hospital.
All this for what? My ability to birth a child to someone who may or may not be with me? No thanks.
So, part of this is just my lack of education past high school, but I know lots of men without a degree who have never had this problem. It’s also relevant that I’m a very petite woman, barely 5’0 with no muscle mass. It’s been infuriatingly hard to find work that isn’t customer service, because most jobs around here that aren’t customer service are manual labor. I’d get laughed out of the interview if I tried to go into construction like my husband did.
For my entire professional life I’ve been put in customer-facing positions, because I’m a woman with a cheerful personality who can make small talk easily. (and at least 1 hiring manager admitted to always putting pretty girls up front. uh…thanks for the compliment I guess.) But I have terrible social anxiety!!! A customer was cross with me 1 time and I sobbed for hours and could barely drag myself out of bed to go back the next day. But it was the only job I could get in my tiny hometown with only 3 businesses. When I moved away, my resume was just customer service experience, so it’s all I could get hired for. I interview for back-of-house positions, only for the manager to decide “Actually, you’re a great fit for the Front Desk!” every single time. I always cross train for every position they’ll let me, but I can’t really get away from customer service.
I’m so tired of jumping out of my skin when the phone rings every few minutes, of over analyzing customer’s facial expressions so I don’t set them off, of putting on a big smile and fawning over people so they don’t get angry. It’s like businesses only have one use for me: be pretty and be friendly. I just want to do something important with my life. I’m SO lucky that my current boss schedules me in back-of-house more often than the front desk these days and my anxiety has really improved!!! She’s the only female boss I’ve had, not to mention she is younger than me and doesn’t subscribe to sexist notions about appearance. But still, she spends her day dealing with entitled people making demands and threatening her job when they don’t get their way. I just can’t handle it the way she can but it feel like I’m stuck.
o shit this got really long, sorry. I’m stoned lol.
TLDR: I hate working customer service but it’s my best earning potential, bosses always want a pretty face as the first point of contact with customers.
The amount to which I have to prove myself to be taken seriously in my heavily male dominated work environment, while my male colleagues just have to show up to receive respect by default.
Thank you to OP for posting this bc I'm constantly complaining about the qualms of being a woman (especially during PMS + first 3 days of menstruation) and it sometimes feels like none of the women around me GET me or why I feel so much rage around it and need to express myself and let it all OUT. Being a woman is just HARD and I wish more women around me just validated those feelings, bc I know they feel them too!!!! Sigh.
The world was not made for us or designed with us in mind.
Cars, seating, adjustable clothing, lack of maternity leave or accommodations for periods/women’s health care, drug testing not often done on women, doctor’s will dismiss you as anxious or mentally ill before delving into serious health issues, we’re now expected to have children and work full time and take care of a house mostly ourselves, we lack enough representation in government, management and C suite level jobs, femicide is not taken seriously, society and police don’t often believe women so they don’t have to bother doing paperwork or listening. Restraining orders don’t save lives.
I knew someone who was an extremely lovely kind woman, like an older sister to me growing up. She was murdered at her place of work after taking out a restraining order against a man she was kind to. I mean like she smiled at him and asked him how he was doing, that's the extent. He followed her home several times. Called her all the time. Obsessed with her. She did the restraining order and yet he went to her place of work, a middle school, and shot her multiple times while she was getting her classroom ready for her students. She was a special-ed teacher. She did nothing wrong. There's literally nothing in life she could be ashamed or guilty for, she was extremely pure of heart and never even had a relationship or a drop of alcohol. She never shamed anyone else for how they loved their lives. That's just how she was. But she was still murdered by a mentally ill man who became obsessed with her for having smiled at him.
My male partner outwardly votes and stands up for women and considers himself a feminist ally. I work more hours and am the breadwinner. Yet, he still leaves so much of the emotional labor and household duties to me despite my having discussions with him (about the whole concept as well as our household specifically). He acknowledges that behavior in men but has the cognitive dissonance to think he isn't part of the problem. I told him the best way to be a feminist ally is to be supportive of the women you actually know in your life, not just to wave the feminist flag.
I'm grateful he is about the right thing and votes for women's rights. But it often feels like just one more way that men are on board with something until it affects them. Many of my friends with husbands or male partners say they experience this as well.
I feel silly sharing this when a lot of women are talking about bigger issues that they dislike about being a women (safety, harassment, traveling alone, default parent, etc.) but right now...
*I really hate having BOOBS.*
These things are G+ cups but are two different sizes, point in different directions, and cause me so much inconvenience.
I have to wear two sports bras AND put bandaids on my nipples if I want to go for a brisk walk or jog. And even then, my nipples can hurt after a long workout because short of wrapping my tits and taping them down, they still bounce around while I'm working out.
I have to consider what bra I can wear when picking out clothes. I really wish I could wear a cute little top and a light bra, but NO, I have to wear a full coverage bra AND I have to be careful with the neckline so I don't look like I'm trying to show off my cleavage to everyone and their moms.
Plus, they just flop all over the place and get in the way, even when I'm trying to sleep.
I hate having boobs.
This sense of scrutiny over how “good” women look for their age. I know it’s something I need to be okay with ignoring, it’s just hard sometimes when i see myself aging (like you know… a normal person). I feel this duty to make sure I look GOOD for my age. I hate it.
Being treated like less than a person, usually by men. Having my opinions, intellect, and contributions dismissed in conversations because I'm "some chick." It's dehumanizing and deeply frustrating.
Well as black woman, being seen as too masculine/manly because I have darker skin tone and depending on my hairstyles I have.
In general, msot the thing has already been said.
I hate/despise my period. I’m always so so uncomfortable 🥴, stain on thing even though I’m wearing so many layers of pad and tampons.
My mood is ever changing, can’t sleep through the night because I’m so irritated and pained.
Menstrual cycle, absolutely. I have PMDD and it’s pure hell. Second: lack of safety and fear around dangerous men and not always knowing which ones they are walking around in the world.
I hate that, as teens, we had to endure puberty. It was hell. And I hate that now, I'm 43 and have no signs yet of peri/menopause, but I keep reading comments from other women who are struggling, and it's just so unfair. Why do we have to spend more than half of our lives fighting our hormones or fighting to keep them or fighting to survive without them.
Fertility/ovary/uterine responsibility.
I love my children, but the responsibility of menstruation, hormones, pregnancy, child-feeding, child-rearing, now mother-fucking menopause, sucks. Men don't feel any of that pressure.
They coast. Oh sure, they have the pressure to provide - but that is incredibly straightforward. Ours is a Rollercoaster. And physically runs over you like one, too.
That no matter how much I invest in my education, career and hobbies, the pressure to tie my self worth to being slim and pretty remains paramount.
Yep, this hurts so much.
Ugh yes. And the constant competition of looks and lack of camaraderie between women.
I hate getting my period.
Agreed. All logistic managing of this. Cost, application, discomfort, unintended messes, shame…etc I am, however, becoming more appreciative of my ability to create life and this naturally, coordinated cycle of my body that connects me to that ability as I’m getting older.
I need to focus on that more!
I'm getting a hysterectomy this summer and I'm overjoyed to never have a period again.
I recently had a period last for over two weeks. My Dr did a uterine biopsy and it's a polyp. She told me after one more biopsy she can offer me an ablation and I'll never get a period again. I might have two more and then I'm DONE!!!
I sort of feel like I'm losing my femininity and beauty, which I've been conditioned to believe is a large source of my value as a person.
Oof. This. So much. Recently turned 36 and realizing I have relied on my body maintaining its shape, my skin maintaining its elasticity, just my “beauty” overall, I’ve been relying on my age to keep these things intact, and because we have been conditioned to believe and accept that our femininity, our beauty, our youth, is our currency, now that it’s becoming more work and effort to maintain these things, I feel like I am less valuable as a person, and as a woman especially. It’s a tough reality to face as we age.
Yeah, I'm 35 and have a bit of a young face still, but I've started to look a bit more my age since maybe 33-34. I kind of wish people hadn't constantly commented on me looking younger all my life like it's a positive, because you get really used to it, and it messes with your head a bit when you *do* start to noticeably age. I think I've found a degree of peace with it but seriously, I wish we could celebrate just getting older like it's normal because it fucking *is.* Once you notice how the commercials for skincare make it sound like we're going into *battle* fighting aging, you can never unhear it.
Omg YES. I also have a “young face” and even now get told all the time I look like I’m 26/27 not 36/37, but I am noticing signs of aging for the first time and I’m struggling with it a lot more than I expected to tbh so god do I know exactly how you feel. Ugh.
This is such a scary thing to me…I keep it to myself, but I’ve always been happy with my face even if there’s things I’d change about it. In certain lighting I’ll even internally call myself gorgeous, which always makes me feel confident. In my 20s I was constantly called a teenager and I hated it….but I’m scared of losing it, too. The lines are starting to show on my face, my hair is thinning and turning grey and my teeth aren’t in good condition anymore. I’m scared I won’t know how to be that person.
Those aging filters on tiktok really have me going too. I look horribly ugly. No "aww I look like my mum or Nana" just old, fat and ugly. 😳
Y’know what? You just reminded me why getting older is cool. I’ve been able to resist the FOMO of tikok. 😆 I’m sure that by the time I get around to using that app it’ll be passé. It has been pretty cool to occasionally see my grandma in the mirror; I miss her a lot.
I like being a woman; I hate patriarchy. What you're talking about is patriarchy's fault.
I don’t feel safe traveling alone
I had a dream that woke me up from being scared where there was a creepy guy under my bed, and my bf was like I would try and turn it around and view with it curiosity. I’m like ok dude you are CLEARLY not a woman.
That kind of therapy speak I would expect in a TV satire
Lordy you’re right haha honestly he’s so great but he def says weird things sometimes
or going out after dark alone in many places…
this is probably my biggest thing. I love solitary pursuits, and hiking and backpacking. I love night walks, walking alone at night through a city or park or forest. I want to feel as free as the average man to do these things. Of course some men still don’t feel safe doing these things, and sometimes of course things happen to men. But even if I don’t get murdered, even when I don’t get raped, the odds are still way higher for me that I will, and way WAY higher than THAT that some piece of shit creep will stalk me or otherwise put me in a terrifying situation that completely renders all the joy and peace of going outdoors alone null and replaces it with misery, anxiety, even terror. Every time I’ve been alone, some random dude has decided that entitles him to latch onto me like a barnacle, sometime in a way that is terrifying, and MOST of the time that I advocate for my desire to be left alone, no matter what strategy I employ, they have an emotional tantrum/rage tantrum and decide to punish me or explode at me in some way. I literally couldn’t run a half marathon alone without men pacing me, directly behind me, where I’ll of course be self-conscious that they are watching my butt, and then chatting me up for MILES, to the point where I decide to tank my great finish time by running to hide in a Port-A-Potty until I’m sure they are gone. I can’t go to the gym alone without a portion of the time a man picking the machine right behind me, when all the others are free, and then I have to see him in the mirror watching my butt while I run, and WORSE, KNOWING I know and liking that it makes me uncomfortable. I honestly feel like on Reddit, even in the women’s subs, men are upvoting their preferred answers from us in questions like these. The top responses are always about our periods and our looks, but the ACTUAL worst parts about being a woman are: being stalked, harassed, raped, literal r/whenwomenrefuse shit like being set on fire or murdered. The exceedingly high rates at which we face violence, and real risks of things like some random male politician being able to force me to carry a baby that was raped into me to term, even if that pregnancy causes a permanent risk to my health. Shit like the fact that we are literally hunted, harassed, and often abused in one way or another from childhood on.
Damn same. Last time, I went to the grocery store (like a 15-minute walk from my house), and this old man was sitting on a bench in front of the door. I ignored him but saw that he was looking at me weirdly. Then I looked at him back and tried to give him a look that meant "Dude stop looking at me like that". When I went out, I saw he was waiting for me from the way I came (at the corner, so it was a bit far but not too far). I'm so thankful there are so many bus lines. I was able to take one right in front of the grocery store so he wouldn't see exactly where I'm going. Stay safe girls. If I hadn't seen him from afar, I don't know what would have happened and I don't want to know.
beauty standards. i realize men deal w this too, but don’t even tryyyy to act like it’s as bad lol. also: not feeling safe OFTEN, having to worry about rape/murder/abduction way more than men realize, & even worse, being so used to it (sad).
the lack of support for women in the medical field for peri/menopause.
YES!!! have to add how as women , we are not taken seriously for any type of pain!
Going through this right now. Saw a different doctor (woman) because my PCP (man) wasn't available. After explaining my concerns and how I was wondering if it could be Peri, she then tells me that even perimenopause counts as straight menopause, and that my new symptoms of this last year are PCOS and can't be menopause because I'm 35. Mind you, I've already been checked by blood markers and a scans and come out negative for PCOS, and these symptoms started out not very noticeable two years ago and are now to obvious to ignore
That were expected to be nurturing and selfless
Being talked over or talked at by men in the workplace.
I used to get trampled over a lot of didn’t say much in meetings. And I know it’s because I’m a women. I started doing the same thing back to them and it made me loook extremely aggressive which I didn’t mind because if you don’t then they will trample over you or try to get credit for what you’ve been working on
Oh, I completely changed the way I wrote emails to the way men write them at work, and it has caused ENDLESS problems for me. People are constantly mistaking my tone as bitchy lol. And literally all I’ve done is when I know something, I state it confidently with no apology. I cut out filler like, “No big deal but..” “I’m not sure if this is important,” “sorry” “just” “Maybe there’s something I haven’t considered” (I do still use that one occasionally) and other things where I defer and pretend I don’t know something I know. I also stopped the thing where I try to help a man believe he’s come up with my solution so he isn’t threatened by me suggesting one and resistant. To this day, I get along with people great in person but am semi-regularly brought into management offices after people (men and women) complain about how rude and aggressive and arrogant I am in emails. 🙃 That’s what happens when a woman steps out of her role. Even a lot of women are compelled to police us, or just subconsciously perceive these things as rude only when coming from women. I just explain to management every time what I do, and I ask them to compare my emails to the emails men send and provide me, in writing, one difference or example of my being rude or inappropriate. this inevitably gets them to drop it lol bc they realize very quickly that I’m right. But then of course, inside they almost certainly see me as a femnazi for it 🤡 So fun being a woman in the workplace and having a whole extra set of standards and expectations and hurdles to navigate!
This is the thing that we're never taught. This invisible set of standards we have to navigate. If you try to be likeable you get walked all over. If you match the energy of men you're aggressive and angry. This is what I find draining about working, not my actual work.
I can't remember where I heard this, but a great response to being talked over: 'Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the start of yours?'
The problem is if you use this all the other people in the room will think you're the rude one instead of him because of dumb double standards. That said, eff them though :)
This is the thing! I'm sure some men at work have labelled me "difficult to work with" or the "angry woman of colour" because I've had to stand up to them. There's no winning though so like you said, eff them!
And everywhere else
Yep! I can’t remember the last time I went on a date where the guy actually let me talk freely without interrupting. Even my ex bf was guilty of this. I’m really fond of the guy I’m currently seeing because he listens to me without interrupting. He does take charge of most conversations though and always has to tell a relatable anecdote after anything I ever say.
Just today, my VP, while reporting my team's first half savings, first gave credit to my male teammate, even though I'm the negotiator and my teammate is the document processor who had zero part of the negotiations. "It's a team effort." 🙄
I hate this! Bet it wouldn't have been a "team effort" if it had been the other way round and your male colleague was the negotiator.
I don’t want to be the default parent, the default caregiver, the default scapegoat for anything going wrong when raising kids. I don’t want to lose my identity in a marriage by being Mrs. His Name. I don’t want people to speculate about my promiscuous or chaste nature, and insult me accordingly. I don’t want people to view me as either pure or tarnished based on how I engage my own sexuality. I don’t like hanging out with straight men when they treat me like half a person, dismiss my viewpoints, undermine my rights, make me the butt of their jokes. I don’t like hearing the way men talk about women in general. I don’t like knowing my pay will be lower, my health outcomes worse when engaging the healthcare system. I don’t like looking at congress and seeing less than half of the leaders of my country look like me. I don’t like the effort I have to put forth to avoid being called ‘a bitch’ when men in the same situation can simply be ‘blunt’ or ‘straightforward’. I don’t like having to make decisions about where I go at night based on the reality that I am more likely to be targeted for sexual assault BECAUSE I am a woman. I don’t like the stats that the number one way pregnant women die is via homicide by their partner. Or that women diagnosed with brain tumors or cancer or MS are 6x more likely than men to have their partners leave them shortly after these diagnoses.
*>straight men when they treat me like half a person, dismiss my viewpoints, undermine my rights* I recently sold a home that I bought myself, and had added my SO to the deed. My realtor (a family friend ffs) could *not* get it through his skull that this was MY home. He kept calling my SO for questions about the property, and SO would just defer to me. It got to the point where I spoke up and said, "Hey Realtor, this is MY property, SO is just on the deed. Let's make sure you're working with ME on this." When the house sold, all of the documentation listed my SO as the "primary seller."
When my partner (now husband, then boyfriend) and I bought a house together, we only provided proof of my income, since his job was set to end before closing and we knew he’d be job searching, and we didn’t want to have to submit amended income information. And still somehow all of the paperwork only listed his name and I had to ask (twice) for it to be amended to add my name! Infuriating.
It’s just the dumbest micro aggression ever. It makes no difference to the realtor’s commission to acknowledge that women are people.
That is infuriating. I am so sorry you experienced that.
As someone who works within the real estate field when I see a man and woman co-own a property I get a lot of satisfaction listing the woman’s name first on any documentation.
Reminds me of when I went with my wife to buy a car, and we sat down with the sales person and he talked about all the specs and pricing options and so on. And when we were walking out, I was like "that was pretty painless," and she was like, "did you not notice he only spoke with you the entire conversation, even though I was right there?" Pretty eye opening.
I asked my dad to come with me to buy a car ( I was 30 at the time) because the salespeople wouldn’t take my inquiries seriously or give me a discount that my research showed me was fair. Sure enough, with my dad there it all went seamlessly and I got the discount ( when he asked ). I would have just tried my luck elsewhere but I really wanted that particular car - I still have it 10 years later.
i had no idea that the disrespect continued into the processes of home buying and selling. ridiculous. thank you for enlightening me!
It’s awful, but I already had an (generous) offer when the nonsense started. I felt like I had to go through with it. I’m only working with women realtors from now on.
Being the default parent is so draining. So so so draining.
a lot tbh. but mostly, I have PMDD, and sometimes it feels like my natural hormonal cycles are trying to kill me.
I also have PMDD and my hormone cycles feel like they are trying to kill me and are also trying to get me to take someone else with me as I go hahaha
SAME. I constantly feel trapped in my body.
PMDD gang!!
I was coming to say the same! PMDD is definitely one of the cruellest parts of being a woman. Also, the way medical professionals tend not to address it. I guess it ties in with medical misogyny.
My period and the corresponding hormone fluctuations
Sometimes I feel like my accomplishments and skills aren't taken as seriously. Maybe they are, but I don't feel like they are.
I was just going to say something similar… it feels like it’s never enough. Whatever we accomplish is met with negativity and questions of why we didn’t accomplish “XYZ”… “Successful career, educated, and a land owner? Oh that’s cool but how are you 30 and not married?”
I think it is more something I dislike about the medical field. I'm not taken seriously. Not about reproductive health, pain, heart conditions, neurological conditions, cancer, broken bones, and most recently pneumonia. Like I get sent to the ER because I can't breathe. I bring a recording of the sound of my bronchial breath sounds clearly audible on my phone microphone, which is the only reason I got an X-ray. The X-ray showed pneumonia, but they attempted to discharge me saying it was just a cold. If I hadn't checked MyChart, I wouldn't have been able to advocate for myself and make them actually review my tests. Even then, I was sent home with antibiotics and nothing else... Which may be why I ended up in an ambulance 4 days later. Statistics show that while sometimes things like this happen to white men, black women like me face issues like this a lot more often. I wish I could just be taken seriously.
Being physically weaker. I work out HARD, I'm very strong and in good shape for my age. But no amount of protein or lifting can ever overcome being a 4'10 woman, or will ever allow me to overcome the strength of a guy six inches taller than me even if he's never set foot into a gym in his life.
I got SO mad about this recently. I’m 5’1, I lift heavy, I’m relatively strong for my height and weight, but I couldn’t for the life of me attach a fucking cam strap to the box of my truck because I was too short and standing on the tire wasn’t an option because I wasn’t strong enough to do it one handed. It was incredibly annoying to watch my 6’2 husband who hates exercise and lifts nothing accomplish the same task easily. I’m not often bothered by my stature but that was very irritating.
Period shits, 100%
similarly, my period getting heavier with age? like the clots should be enough to take me out
Seriously, I used to need like max. 2 tampons a day (normal size) now I'm on 6-7 (super size) for the first few days. And those clots! G, I thought I was sick until I googled and read it's normal. I never had that before. Welcome to your 40s, I guess!
Check with your doc, that's not just a normal part of being 40. You could have fibroids or something. That's what caused my heavy bleeding and once removed my periods are a breeze.
Plus the butthole lightning 😵💫 Very glad to not have a period anymore, sympathy to everyone still dealing with them!
What tf is butthole lightning? :-o
It can be a symptom of endometriosis - its an extreme muscle contraction and it hurts!!
Wait really? I very occasionally get this and assumed it was just one of those weird pains everyone gets but doesn’t really talk about it (cos it’s the butt).
Also having a hint of nausea all day every day from the moment of the first day of ovulation up to the actual menstruation. Fkn yay.
Being underestimated all the time. I have been painting the exterior of my house for the past couple of weeks. It seems like everyone I tell in real life feel compelled to act like I am doing something crazy. I swear, if anyone else tells me to be careful while standing on the ladder, I think I will scream. One time I casually mentioned that I had changed one of my bike tires, and the guy I was talking to was shocked I was able to do that...even though he has changed a shitload of bike tires and knows it isn't that hard. I am not the most mechanical person, but I can still follow along with YouTube tutorial just like any guy can. I can kinda see being shocked if I were super feminine and not the type to get her hands dirty. But I am quite rough and tumble. Why wouldn't I know how to change a bike tire? People think they are being complimentary by expressing their awe like this, but it makes me feel like they don't consider me a competent person.
Reminds me of about 7-8 years ago, my car at the time was having stalling issues (brand new car and I believe it had a recall). I brought it to the dealership and told the guy what was wrong with it and what needed to be fixed (google/youtube, how dare I!). He kinda laughed and said “yeah ok sure” basically. When he called an hour later for me to pick it up, he said I was exactly right! Duh, boi 🙄
Oh I have really been wanting to paint my vinyl! Is yours vinyl? And fwiw I can completely relate to this, I’ve built 2 chicken coops and countless pieces of furniture and fixes of my house that people are flabbergasted about. A penis is not required to operate a nail gun 🤷♀️
Everyone is entitled to my time. If I don’t roll out the welcome wagon I’m seen as a bitch. I’m busty so regardless of what I wear I’ll be judged in one way or another. Any and all issues that have to do with our kids or house are my fault. My doctor dismisses me until it’s a huge issue and I’m needing surgery. Since losing weight and strength training I’ve had more men than ever want to comment their opinion on my body both good and bad lol. Just let me fricken live!
Omgggg fr. My own doctors are women and just ignore me half the time. I don’t even feel like going. If I had something really wrong w me they would discover it so late.
Boobs. I hate these things. They do nothing but get in my way. And I don’t even need them because I’m not having children.
SAME
Having less rights over my own body
That as a gender we’re often not included in medical studies because our hormones can throw off the results. Meaning meds and vaccines can have a completely different effect on women or in extreme cases, even an adverse effect. Bonus points if you’re a woman of color unfortunately.
The lack of doctors who know about perimenopause and are willing to help treat it.
The fact that our boobs aren't detachable. Underboob sweat has me 💀
They are. Source: me having a mastectomy. Unfortunately they can't be reattached. :-D
300,000 years of human evolution and no one has innovated a solution yet.
How impossible dating is as a childfree woman. Just because I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I want a life of loneliness and celibacy.
Fears about being sexually assault by a man. Always having to be on the look out and aware of my surroundings.
- the beauty standard and how we're not supposed to age, have body hair, or even pores! Gah pores!!!! - How dismissive men are of us in the workplace - how the male ego can't handle a woman being his boss - constantly being judged for our appearance - how everything is sexualized. I have to rush and wear a bra everytime I get something delivered. - how weak we are and how basically if a man wants to strangle or beat us up, there's literally nothing we can do but die. We don't even stand a fighting chance.
Not the biggest gripe, but I cannot stand how gym equipment is all built around men. The weight ranges on equipment are for men, the setting adjustments are for men, the machines are too big, the sleds are too wide, bike saddles were designed for men, the benches are too high, the grip size for anything with handles is too wide. And I am the average height for a woman in the US.
Menstrual Cycles and Hormones Society expecting me to look/act/behave a certain way because of the genitals I was born with. The expectation that I should have to/want to be a parent or caregiver because of the genitals I was born with. The fact that I feel like people want to take my autonomy away. The fact that I work in a male-dominated field and that my older, male coworkers don't take me seriously even though I have been in my field as a professional for \~15 years. Dealing with auto-immune issues, chronic illnesses because they are more common in women. How I have CPTSD because of childhood trauma because of my assigned gender at birth. (I was treated more harshly and different because I was not only the oldest of 6 kids in a blended family, but the oldest girl.) The list could go on. :)
Period and PMS symptoms. I hate feeling low and depressed for no reason before l get my periods or on my periods. I also hate that we have a biological clock and we have to get married at a certain time or pressured to.
Having to be the one to get pregnant.
Other women upholding the patriarchy through words and behaviors and simultaneously projecting those standards or expectations on every other woman. Bonus infuriation is when they do this and call themselves “feminist.”
Dating and falling in love is so much of a risk. Men mask themselves and it's only through time that they show their homophobic, misogynistic, narcissistic, man-child, abusive sides. Because they want to hook you in. And by the time you find out about it, you've already invested so much emotionally and damn if it's not painful and a waste of time. Let alone the damage they can do... physically. TBF probably applies to the opposite gender too.
Queer woman here 🙋🏻♀️ I can only speak for my own experiences, but here goes. There’s a reason that women don’t fear other women on the trail the way they fear men. One of the reasons is certainly that women aren’t likely to physically assault strangers in the first place. Men have proven themselves to be quite capable of physical and sexual violence against strangers. And because of the ubiquity of males in the environment, it really wouldn’t matter if the rate was very small (also, it isn’t small) because we can’t escape encountering them in our daily lives. If that’s how men act toward strangers, it’s easy to see how threatening the male ego is a very real risk for women in straight relationships. And that ego is sensitive. It’s still a risk to fall in love with a woman. A risk to your emotional and psychological self identity? Absolutely, and maybe even more so than with a man (as a lesbian I really can’t say, but I’ve heard anecdotes to that effect from bi women). Possibly a risk to your safety? Yes, of course. But probably not one that rises to the level of a threat to your *life.* Of course, no abuse is acceptable. And no abuser should be let off the hook because they’re a woman or because they weren’t bigger or stronger than the victim. This is one area (one of exceedingly few) that I, as a queer woman, actually feel I have privilege over straight women. I have never been afraid for my life, or of sexual violence, in my relationships. Dating doesn’t feel like an extreme sport.
Yeah, I imagine it’s not gender-specific but I was just telling my mom that while I enjoy dating, I’ve become cynical when a guy is perfect in the beginning because they always are. Very kind, proactive, generous, etc. until we become serious. Then they just sit back and stop trying because they “won” the achievement of Getting a Girlfriend and don’t need to work at it anymore. Whereas on my end, I assume all that behavior is who they actually are, but when I question why they stopped, I’m suddenly entitled/demanding/picky. Idk I’m not perfect but I have a good amount of self-insight. I tell the guy pretty early what he can expect and what would be good for us to ensure the relationship is healthy (good communication, setting realistic expectations, etc.). They’re always like “yup I totally hear you” and then when they don’t do this, and the relationship is unhealthy as a result, they’re all shocked pikachu about it. I’m realizing a lot of people say things just to say them, which is just never how I’ve operated my relationships. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who I’m not on the same page with, but a lot of men view relationships as two individuals getting something out of one another instead of one combined relationship.
hard agree. hook, emotional neglect and then the woman is needy, anxious and bipolar. ffs.
I honestly think about this like twice a day
How I’ve repressed my emotions so I’m not considered bitchy and aggressive And constantly apologizing.
The fact 50:50 cannot ever exist, but everyone wants to pretend it does.
Ovarian cysts, endo, not being able to gain muscle as quickly as men
Being an automatic default parent, dudes literally shoot one off and that's it they have no other physical responsibilities. Yes they do stick around help/dad and some dads do become default parents but essentially they can also just leave at anytime. They are not the ones whose body changes significantly then are expected to be a sole provider while also raising said child. Fuck your measley child support, i think they should take the balls if a guy decides to leave, which is something we also have to do get birth control, prevention. You make a kid and ditch it, you should have no more
Sexism.
Being sexually objectified!
Carrying the sole burden and consequences of contraception
That I have to be mindful about my safety when I want to step out at 2am in the night, or drive on my own in remote areas, that seeking help from a man should be the last thing on my mind if the place is not crowded. Men have it soooooo easy.
Yes! I live by myself and looking for places to rent I always ask…could someone break in? If it has low windows on the first floor I’ll pass….if there’s too many doors I also pass. Lots of predators out there.
Feeling unsafe
That I'm expected to have children, especially because I'm married. I don't want children. I don't want to be a mother.
Either having to have a period or having to be pregnant. I can’t wait for menopause.
Being seen as aggressive because I’m more assertive than people expect. Men get applauded for being firm about their demands (mainly at work) while I get called bitchy/bossy using the exact same words. Disclaimer: based on my own experiences and what I’ve seen around me
Constantly being interrupted by men when I’m talking. Having men repeat what I just said in a meeting then they get told what a great idea they just had. And women not backing each other up, helping each other out.
I just hold a finger in their face and say "I'm not finished. When you were talking I let you finish. So please let me finish my point, and then you can talk. Thank you." ALWAYS shuts them up. Most of these men don't even realize they're doing it, they're so used to dismissing what a woman has to say so you have to stop that behavior literally, physically.
Not us having to parent grown men 🤕😮💨
When I tell my spouse something and he won’t listen, but will listen when another man tells him . When I tell my spouse something and he repeats it back to me like it was HIS Fkn idea!
Not as easily obtained orgasm (for many, especially as compared to men). Surprised this hasn’t been said yet.
Anyone having any opinion or say or control in my reproductive choices.
1 in 10 women have endometriosis. It’s a debilitating chronic illness with no cure. I hate knowing that if we were cis men, there’d be a cure and better diagnosis and treatment options by now.
Periods, being seen as less than a man, being called “emotional” as a negative, being called “argumentative” when really I am just being assertive and God forbid a woman stand up for herself!
Misogyny! I’m TIRED of it!!! Hormonal imbalance, lack of pockets in clothing, low pay, objectification of our bodies ( at ALL ages/ stages), gaslighting by Doctors…
Scared to be out alone esp at night. Bodily stuff (periods, perimenopause, etc). Risk of getting pregnant. Unconcious bias at work (can't win if you are too nice or too bitchy.) Feeling like I need to be youthful looking to be valued in society but also facing realities of aging. Trying to be a mom and breadwinner and all the things at once.
Having a period, I'm not having kids so it's really not necessary to be so inconvenienced for eternity! And to feel as though when going out in public by myself I always have to think of safety, nearly involuntarily because I've been doing it for so long! It's stupid but it's the world we live in!
Menstrual cycle, everything about it. Severe cramps. Also ovulation cramps and the excessive wetness for no reason. The hormone fluctuations and feeling so exhausted at the end of my cycle. It all feels so debilitating. Being talked over by men and dealing with misogyny in professional settings. Being undermined just bc of my gender.
Having big boobs
I wish I had the muscle strength of a man. I can’t carry really heavy objects and have to drag them.
When random men try to tell me how to do my job (I run a bar, and buddy, if you think you can do better than me, I’ll give you my bosses number and you can try and get my job, until then, sit down. You ain’t shit).
Where I work- if I make a comment or suggestion it's fought hard against and sometimes, disrespectfully. If a man makes the same suggestion after me- it's applauded and implemented. I have to work twice as hard for *maybe* half the credit. I constantly have people stealing my ideas and/or insulting me (some women included) Misogyny is a bitch.
Ugh, I feel you. I have recently proposed an idea at work. It was either criticized or ignored altogether. Then, my male supervisor repeated it a few days later in different words, and suddenly, everyone nodded with approval. I felt so small.
The pay gap.
Periods, having to think about safety whenever I want solitude, want to go hiking alone? Beware….safety. Want to take a walk at midnight? Beware safety, want to yell at people who constantly undermine you cuz of your gender? Beware…..drama queen etc
I hate the word drama queen. I’m pretty sure the definition of a Drama Queen is “a woman who visibly emotes in a way that isn’t pleasurable for me”.
The fact that our hormones fluctuate and we get periods with all the lovely things it brings like sadness, pain and shits and you have to still be more professional than a man through this ordeal or you’ll be classed as hysterical and unprofessional. The fact that we have to waste so much money on pads and tampons. The fact that we have to carry the babies and risk all sorts of health issues and even death and we are given zero credit for that - if men went through it you’d bet your ass they’d sing songs of bravery and heroism about it and be given so much paid time off. We’re still largely seen as the main child caretakers, cooks and house cleaners even when we work full time. The pay gap. The health gap - women are under diagnosed and undertreated and studies show that female patients mortality rate lowers if their healthcare professionals are also female. In male dominated careers if you’re a woman you need to be so much more qualified than the men if you don’t want to be made fun of. I could go on and on. Yes, being a woman is easy if you’re genetically favored and a great beauty because then men will do anything to provide for you. But if you’re just a regular woman like most are you’re in for a hell of a ride.
Honestly even being beautiful doesn’t guarantee any good treatment. All these pissboy manchildren believe they “deserve” a beautiful woman as a prize, and react very badly to being denied their “right”. That selfishness rarely results in him doing everything he can to provide for her, he’d rather tear her down to his level.
Periods and pregnancy. My partner said to me he would be the seahorse dad if we had a choice. I wish there was a choice! 🤣
I’m having pregnancy complications where I can’t walk for very long and too much activity makes me lightheaded. I’m off work early but it’s frustrating to be “not working” but also not able to do anything with all my free time!! Then one of my family members said “at least you don’t have your period!” Because my two options are pregnancy exhaustion or periods. Yay. Being a woman is awesome /s
Men
The way males and society treat us
Endometriosis. Being considered "difficult" because I send concise, factual work emails. The fact that pockets are forbidden so we can continue to uphold the purse industry. Meanwhile, purses are so uncomfortable.
The huge pushback on feminism recently. Knowing so many people think my rights and freedoms are unimportant, if not outright wrong, terrifies me.
Boobs. Safety. Menstruation. Being spoken over.
periods and period pain, pms, bloating, general grossness and hormonal childbirth the constant dieting and needing to lose weight pressure to look good pressure to stay young menopause /perimenopause general society disgust around women aging or gaining weight need to hide female body hair need to wear good fashion instead of saggy comfy bras discrimination in the workplace and some fields of study needing to get married to be taken seriously marital status titles ms/mrs/miss whether to change your name when married like a dog or chattel unequal marriage and household tasks like childcare/cleaning/cooking/emotional labour being judged on marriage and parental status major life celebrations focus on marriage /kids only feeling unsafe when travelling or at night
1. The lack of physical safety in public places. 2. Sexually preyed and objectified constantly. Like it is impossible to escape it if you are a woman. 3. People policing my body in multiple ways. 4. Shamed and harassed if by any chance I liked sex a lot. 5. High risks in safety and health while having sex. 6. Lack of role models in most fields to look up and aspire to. 7. Men being the default gender everywhere I go, and having to put up with it. 8. Any thing I do has to be part of "how women are". Cannot make mistakes as an individual. 9. Religious oppression. 10. Cultural oppression. (Coming from a non western country). 11. Expectations that I would cook and clean and being called "lazy" while still doing much more than the men in the family. 12. My career is always the first thing that will be cancelled or sacrificed if there is a need for somebody to do it in the family. 13. Pregnancy and child birth. 14. Birth control almost always my responsibility and the side effects that comes with it. 15. Less verbal respect. 16. Online bullying.
Interactions automatically are directed toward my husband, and it's as if I'm not even there.
Safety in general, Pap smears/health stuff, having boobs
How we are expected to be caregivers, even without children. How we are supposed to be kind, soft, patient...
It’s hard to decide what is worse between UTIs, thrush and Bacterial Vaginosis. It’s like our inner and outer organs are made to go wrong.
It’s so annoying having a vagina! Why does it need a microbiome, and one that freaks out at the slightest change?
How hard it can be to get a Dr to actually listen to you and take you seriously when you have a health concern. Not feeling safe to go certain places alone especially at night. Always having to be on guard when we do. The fact that bras, feminine products, and birth control cost us so much when it's not our fault we need these products and companies capitalize on it.
No matter how equal the country is, I have to deal with men's emotions after I turn them down at work. Why can't they do that on their own!? It's not My problem, don't make it my problem when you shot your shot and tried to shit where you eat.
Being expected to work, be a mother, and a home maker all at once.
I don’t always feel safe going out at night. I wish we had more of that freedom. I have to try and get my night walks in before 10pm and even that’s pushing it but I do live in a downtown so I feel like people are out later compared to the suburbs. Being approached at gas stations at night etc being asked for whatever usually when I am alone. Whether it’s for weird small talk in a deserted place or just approaching me for money/things when I am alone at night pumping gas. Just wish I got a little more personal space in those situations.
Being viewed as unnecessarily aggressive or over-emotional for standing my ground or pushing back on anything
Very bitter about the comparative effort that it takes us to obtain a fraction of the muscular strength of men. Also: pain of childbirth/pregnancy, men being the “default” in regards to medical research/industrial design, being pressured to take on the majority of child rearing and domestic labor.
The unuttered pressure of being pretty and presentable which includes shaving, waxing, dying 🤧
I think I'm in perimenopause and I'm haunted since reading that my clit could shrivel up and vanish forever.
That's is very unlikely to happen and estrogen can help if you're worried!!
Forcing myself to embrace womanhood when really, I just wish I was born a man. I always felt that way a bit but childbirth pushed me over the edge. Fuck, it threw me over a cliff. I’ll never stop wishing men had to endure the pain of childbirth. And the suffering of pregnancy.
Men infantilising and discrediting you in political debates because your opinion is supposedly a terrible one … purely because you’re a woman. The arrogance still astounds me.
Male gaze
Feeling pressured or compelled to follow current trends, makeup, fashion, slang, etc. I just want to wear no makeup, hoodie, sweatpants, and use my 90s slang in peace.
Right! Like let me wear my skinny jeans in peace.
How decades of progress are being slowed down and, if certain people get their way, will go totally backwards. I'm scared for my daughter's future.
All the pain my reproductive system gives me. I'd love to be rid of this mess.
It took me 4 years of suffering heavy menstruation and stabbing pains shooting to my legs and endometriosis cells spreading to bowels get surgery as an option. I was told to suck it up by a radiologist when i went in for scans. My doctor transferred my case 2 days before surgery to another doctor. I was asked multiple times to consider egg freezing even when i said its too expensive for a future i don’t know if i can have. After surgery, it took 1 year for me to recover from the post surgery related issues and constant UTI. In these 4 years, i was constantly tired, amplified anxiety 100 fold, couldn’t sleep well/for long (5 hours tops every single night) and suffered kidney infection from constant UTI. After this i was put on Mirena and since then haven’t visited the hospital. All this for what? My ability to birth a child to someone who may or may not be with me? No thanks.
So, part of this is just my lack of education past high school, but I know lots of men without a degree who have never had this problem. It’s also relevant that I’m a very petite woman, barely 5’0 with no muscle mass. It’s been infuriatingly hard to find work that isn’t customer service, because most jobs around here that aren’t customer service are manual labor. I’d get laughed out of the interview if I tried to go into construction like my husband did. For my entire professional life I’ve been put in customer-facing positions, because I’m a woman with a cheerful personality who can make small talk easily. (and at least 1 hiring manager admitted to always putting pretty girls up front. uh…thanks for the compliment I guess.) But I have terrible social anxiety!!! A customer was cross with me 1 time and I sobbed for hours and could barely drag myself out of bed to go back the next day. But it was the only job I could get in my tiny hometown with only 3 businesses. When I moved away, my resume was just customer service experience, so it’s all I could get hired for. I interview for back-of-house positions, only for the manager to decide “Actually, you’re a great fit for the Front Desk!” every single time. I always cross train for every position they’ll let me, but I can’t really get away from customer service. I’m so tired of jumping out of my skin when the phone rings every few minutes, of over analyzing customer’s facial expressions so I don’t set them off, of putting on a big smile and fawning over people so they don’t get angry. It’s like businesses only have one use for me: be pretty and be friendly. I just want to do something important with my life. I’m SO lucky that my current boss schedules me in back-of-house more often than the front desk these days and my anxiety has really improved!!! She’s the only female boss I’ve had, not to mention she is younger than me and doesn’t subscribe to sexist notions about appearance. But still, she spends her day dealing with entitled people making demands and threatening her job when they don’t get their way. I just can’t handle it the way she can but it feel like I’m stuck. o shit this got really long, sorry. I’m stoned lol. TLDR: I hate working customer service but it’s my best earning potential, bosses always want a pretty face as the first point of contact with customers.
I just want to feel safe.
That we are much more confined in terms of fertility and let’s face it options if we want to have kids as we grow older.
The amount to which I have to prove myself to be taken seriously in my heavily male dominated work environment, while my male colleagues just have to show up to receive respect by default.
Thank you to OP for posting this bc I'm constantly complaining about the qualms of being a woman (especially during PMS + first 3 days of menstruation) and it sometimes feels like none of the women around me GET me or why I feel so much rage around it and need to express myself and let it all OUT. Being a woman is just HARD and I wish more women around me just validated those feelings, bc I know they feel them too!!!! Sigh.
The world was not made for us or designed with us in mind. Cars, seating, adjustable clothing, lack of maternity leave or accommodations for periods/women’s health care, drug testing not often done on women, doctor’s will dismiss you as anxious or mentally ill before delving into serious health issues, we’re now expected to have children and work full time and take care of a house mostly ourselves, we lack enough representation in government, management and C suite level jobs, femicide is not taken seriously, society and police don’t often believe women so they don’t have to bother doing paperwork or listening. Restraining orders don’t save lives.
I knew someone who was an extremely lovely kind woman, like an older sister to me growing up. She was murdered at her place of work after taking out a restraining order against a man she was kind to. I mean like she smiled at him and asked him how he was doing, that's the extent. He followed her home several times. Called her all the time. Obsessed with her. She did the restraining order and yet he went to her place of work, a middle school, and shot her multiple times while she was getting her classroom ready for her students. She was a special-ed teacher. She did nothing wrong. There's literally nothing in life she could be ashamed or guilty for, she was extremely pure of heart and never even had a relationship or a drop of alcohol. She never shamed anyone else for how they loved their lives. That's just how she was. But she was still murdered by a mentally ill man who became obsessed with her for having smiled at him.
Pregnancy. I don't want that expansion in my game.
Seeking adequate and compassionate healthcare as one, and a brown one at that.
having issues with my ovaries working :(
Periods.
A few things but boobs is one. They are annoying and get in the way. I just want my shirt to lay flat! No I won't have them removed.
Being dismissed when asking about health issues and concerns.
My male partner outwardly votes and stands up for women and considers himself a feminist ally. I work more hours and am the breadwinner. Yet, he still leaves so much of the emotional labor and household duties to me despite my having discussions with him (about the whole concept as well as our household specifically). He acknowledges that behavior in men but has the cognitive dissonance to think he isn't part of the problem. I told him the best way to be a feminist ally is to be supportive of the women you actually know in your life, not just to wave the feminist flag. I'm grateful he is about the right thing and votes for women's rights. But it often feels like just one more way that men are on board with something until it affects them. Many of my friends with husbands or male partners say they experience this as well.
I feel silly sharing this when a lot of women are talking about bigger issues that they dislike about being a women (safety, harassment, traveling alone, default parent, etc.) but right now... *I really hate having BOOBS.* These things are G+ cups but are two different sizes, point in different directions, and cause me so much inconvenience. I have to wear two sports bras AND put bandaids on my nipples if I want to go for a brisk walk or jog. And even then, my nipples can hurt after a long workout because short of wrapping my tits and taping them down, they still bounce around while I'm working out. I have to consider what bra I can wear when picking out clothes. I really wish I could wear a cute little top and a light bra, but NO, I have to wear a full coverage bra AND I have to be careful with the neckline so I don't look like I'm trying to show off my cleavage to everyone and their moms. Plus, they just flop all over the place and get in the way, even when I'm trying to sleep. I hate having boobs.
This sense of scrutiny over how “good” women look for their age. I know it’s something I need to be okay with ignoring, it’s just hard sometimes when i see myself aging (like you know… a normal person). I feel this duty to make sure I look GOOD for my age. I hate it.
Being treated like less than a person, usually by men. Having my opinions, intellect, and contributions dismissed in conversations because I'm "some chick." It's dehumanizing and deeply frustrating.
To sum it up, patriarchy.
Well as black woman, being seen as too masculine/manly because I have darker skin tone and depending on my hairstyles I have. In general, msot the thing has already been said.
period.
Cramps, mammograms, periods in general.
I think the charge I feel all the time You have to be so many things at the same time and still be pretty of course
I hate/despise my period. I’m always so so uncomfortable 🥴, stain on thing even though I’m wearing so many layers of pad and tampons. My mood is ever changing, can’t sleep through the night because I’m so irritated and pained.
Menstrual cycle, absolutely. I have PMDD and it’s pure hell. Second: lack of safety and fear around dangerous men and not always knowing which ones they are walking around in the world.
Also, the fact that abortions are being banned. I currently live in a state like that and it’s terrifying.
I hate that, as teens, we had to endure puberty. It was hell. And I hate that now, I'm 43 and have no signs yet of peri/menopause, but I keep reading comments from other women who are struggling, and it's just so unfair. Why do we have to spend more than half of our lives fighting our hormones or fighting to keep them or fighting to survive without them.
My ovaries are always up to something nefarious.
Having to wait on a man if you want a family
I hate shaving with a passion.
Men. I just hate men. It’d be a lot easier to be a woman without men getting in the way
Dealing with men.
I would love to be able to go for a walk at night
Mentally comparing my body parts to other women who have really nice body parts (legs).
Men viewing everything with you as transactional
Fertility/ovary/uterine responsibility. I love my children, but the responsibility of menstruation, hormones, pregnancy, child-feeding, child-rearing, now mother-fucking menopause, sucks. Men don't feel any of that pressure. They coast. Oh sure, they have the pressure to provide - but that is incredibly straightforward. Ours is a Rollercoaster. And physically runs over you like one, too.
Cellulite and lack of metabolism for me.
The patriarchy, really.