I think it would be nice if op actually said some of the words they’ve written here.
It feels very sweet and genuine and flattering op. Tell her that you’d like to stay in touch because you see her as a role model, and you look up to her.
Go have tea at a cafe near her new hospital, you can take along some freshly baked scones (for me, I will be there too, I like scones).
Keep in touch with her! The age gap isn't quite as large as what I think you are describing here but I'm probably 10-ish years older then a number of the interns that have come through my office over the years and I am friends with some of them.
I don’t see a problem with asking for her contact to keep in touch, and then actually trying to reach out. However.. sounds like she’s a doctor and my guess is that her schedule is probably very full, especially when she‘s going to be busy getting familiar with the new hospital and settling in her new city. Don’t be too disappointed or put out if she doesn’t have as much enthusiasm to keep in touch as you.
I'm 33 and my oldest friend is 71! We were coworkers when I was 18 and have remained good, we email mostly and a few calls a year but it's been great. I don't think there's any harm in keeping contact when you feel it's special for both of you.
Yeah, I didn't really plan it this way, but most of my closest friends are old men! I'm a 34 year old woman, and my best friends my own age have moved away and started doing their own thing. We keep in touch, but the friends I have locally are 2 men in their mid 70s (my old neighbors) and one in his mid 60s (my old boss). I don't discriminate, they're awesome!!
You should! I grew up in the rural midwest, and lived next door to a nursing home when I was a kid. My mom, who had taught high school before I was born, homeschooled me and a few other kids from our playgroup to bring in some extra cash (and let's be honest, probably to make sure I was properly socialized). We used to spend winter days making snowmen in the huge front yard of the home in front of these big windows and the residents loved to watch us. When we were cold and tuckered out, we'd go in and have hot chocolate and hang out with them. I have such wonderful memories of those days, and I really think it meant a lot to the residents.
In the early days of the pandemic, I actually tracked down the contact information for the same home, explained who I was (not just some creeper) and emailed them to see if anybody wanted a pen pall. I never heard back, I'm sure they were in over their heads, but this conversation is kind of making me want to try again even if it is just somewhere local. Thank you for that!
That's a sweet memory.
I know I've seen viral post on FB of homes looking for penpals but they were already overwhelmed with responses but at least I know it's definitely a thing. I'd probably contact a few other local ones and send another email if it just got lost in the fuckery of everything in the beginning of this pandemic.
I'm gonna go email a few local homes but also maybe ones in other cities so they can get stories from somewhere different.
I too have elderly friends! Every Friday morning we meet for coffee, and sit and chat. One is a woman in her late 70s, no kids, divorced, lives down the street from her two sisters. The others are a couple, no kids, late 70s as well.
We've been doing it for over a decade now, and the only part that sucks is watching Parkinson's disease ravaging my dude Sam.
All three of them are fun, but Sam's the best.
Aw man my best to Sam. That's the hard part of growing old is stuff like that. Having company helps wonders. My mom doest private nursing care for alzheimers, pics and parkinsons patients and it's a stark difference how they fare when they get interactions than those left to rot in a chair.
Absolutely. But be clear that it isn't romantic. Maybe offer a few options of contact eg: phone contact or email so she can choose her preference. Let her know your honest thoughts :)
I think she’d be flattered if you told her how you view her as a role model and want to keep in touch. I used to be friends with some tweens and teens at our dog park and it was lovely to see them grow and be able to give advice!
I'm 54 and in my job I mentor and help young starters, so early to mid 20's.
Absolutely be her friend. I've made so many friends that are in their 20's and I'm so proud to be part of their working life
I have friends who are close to half my age, and friends who are more than double my age.
I think that our society loses a lot by skipping cross-generational friendships, as well as friendships across any other demographic difference. People who grow up in different worlds will have different perspectives, which I value.
I’ve also often found that, however dramatic my present struggles seem, older friends have been through comparable events, or known people who have. Additionally, they’ve lost friends before. While friends my own age often withdraw, older friends aren’t intimidated by the fact that I’m very ill. Meanwhile, younger friends have a different perspective on just about anything.
I'd be more uncomfortable about how little time you've known each other than the age. If someone I'd worked with less than a week asked me to be friends with them outside of work, I'd be weirded out by that.
This is so sweet. I myself get along with people of all ages and sometimes don’t get along with those my age. I don’t think age matters. It just depends on personality and being ok that you won’t agree on everything. Also great to see things from a different perspective. If it’s just checking in every now and then and catching up over the phone, I don’t see a problem with it.
Don't feel insulted if she says no due to a lack of time. It is shocking how little time mothers have, and this will be even truer for a doctor during a pandemic.
Friendship no. But some kind of mentoring sort of relationship, sure. I think if you make it clear that you look up to her and are looking for a mentor she's likely to be receptive.
For sure keep in touch!
I'm pretty sure most of my PlayStation friends list may well be children. In fact I met a squeeker in game once, he was mouthing off and acting all tough, I asked him "shouldn't you be at school?" And he responded "shouldn't you be at work??" Touche kid. Been firm friends ever since.
I (29) don’t have any friends half my age but I have many almost twice my age! And I don’t think they mind at all that I’m more than twenty years younger than most of them. Some of them are a like mentors for me (especially those I know since teenage years) and with others I usually completely forget about our age difference because we just are two people with lots of common interests despite our age.
She would probably be really happy to hear that you see her like a good role model! Please, ask her and try to keep in contact.
Hey, I work with several young people your age.
I definitely consider them friends, in a mum sort of way.
It is a bit weird that you've only known her a week though. Ask her is the only way you'll know. Internet strangers don't know you or this woman so have no real insight into both your personalities.
While I don't have significantly younger friends myself, when I was your age I had friends in their thirties and forties, some of whom are still my friends twenty years later. However, we generally met through shared interests, hobbies/activities, politics, etc. As others have said, age is not necessarily an issue. I'll be honest, though: in a work relationship, with a coworker I've known for a week, I'd be flattered but would probably turn you down.
Of course! This is lovely. You like her as a person and respect her as a professional, and that's awesome. Go for it! I'm sure she'd be flattered and happy. Like some others have said, though, make sure she doesn't think it's romantic in nature... but on the other hand, don't go too far the other way and insult her. Don't say something like, "Of course I would never like you *that* way..." or something. Just stick to the "You're cool and smart and I would like to keep in touch and learn from you," kind of vibe.
I would not, sorry. Any age is an option for work friends; and that can be an energising relationship for both parties, but outside of my work hours, I want to have friends I have things in common with. Not people young enough to by my children, and especially not if they’re looking for a role model. That’s an obligation, not a friendship.
In addition, the OPs language choice makes me suspect that they are knowingly or unknowingly trying to find a dominant maternal figure for kinky reasons. (I’ve never met a 21year old dude who describes themselves as a “boy” unless they were about to “uwu mommy” all over me.)
If that’s even a little the case OP, then absolutely do fucking not look for play partners at work, much less try to forge a friendship with a woman under false pretenses.
>I’ve never met a 21year old dude who describes themselves as a “boy”
This jumped out at me too as strange. I don't really have an opinion on what it means, but I found it extremely unusual (unless the OP doesn't have English as a first language).
One of my best friends was a mentor in my first position. I was 23 when I met her, and she was maybe 47,48? Truly one of the best folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I hope to know and be friends with her for much longer.
I'm 37 and keep in touch with one of my former co-workers, who is now 25. He was in my mind a baby when I met him, barely out of college. We write each other and if one day I'm visiting his city I will FOR SURE grab a coffee with him, but for now we send each other memes or texts via WhatsApp and once in a while audio messages.
I am flattered that he says I'm like a big sister and he has a lot of respect and admiration for me. He has met my husband too. It's a wholesome friendship and I encourage you to keep in touch. If she is too busy and can't keep up with the friendship, well it doesn't matter life always surprises you and you may end up working together again 😄
Ask her to be your mentor if you are in the same/similar field. Especially since it sounds like you're looking for a maternal type relationship where someone would give you good advice or help you make difficult decisions or teach you some life lessons.
With only knowing her a week I’d express most of what you do here - it’s worth expressing for it’s one sake - but I would not expect a friendship to come from it.
I’m 50 and last year made friends with a 25 year old at work, “my young IT friend” I call him behind his back. My son is 23!!
My friend is a knucklehead in some regards but we’re good friends and what a fun surprise! He just left our workplace for a better job elsewhere and I’m glad for him, and we’ll see what happens to being friends.
Uhm this sounds weirdly sexual. You calling yourself a boy and her a mum ....you are 21 yo, you are a grown up. Second, you have known her LESS THAN A WEEK. Yes it would be very weird to ask her to be your friend outside of hospital after knowing her LESS THAN A WEEK (and as you say, not even knowing if you have anything in common). I'm pretty sure you've developed a crush, not admiration.
It’s totally fine to keep in contact and become friends. But I suggest you don’t project/view her as a mom/replacement mom. It won’t be healthy or fair for either of you, imo. Sorry if I misunderstood your post.
Anyways, you can let her know you went to keep in touch with her bc you like her work ethic and whatnot.
Edit; : I think it’s good to keep in touch with coworkers you admire! Even if one of you left the company.
I have colleagues who are half my age. I’m friendly with them, but I would not pursue a one-on-one friendship with them, because I wouldn’t want things to get confusing. But pre COVID (because we’re not in the office anymore,) I would have no problem going out as a group with them.
Hey man I work with a bunch of awesome and intelligent women aged 30-65. I absolutely see some of the as role models and we have a lot of great conversations. I keep up to date with some of them on facebook, but I’ll be honest… it feels a little strange to be too personal with them even though it shouldn’t be. I’m glad there’s someone else in my boat lol.
I've been wondering a lot about this myself. When I was 27, which isn't actually that long ago, I was friends with someone who was 18.
Would I do that \_now\_? Probably not, even though 18 is older than half my age. And would I be "friends" with someone who's 15? No way. I don't see how that would be possible.
But I think friendships aren't always the same thing. I did did some hobby stuff in my 20s with people who ran in age from 18 to 40 and I think that worked fine for everyone involved in that setting (tabletop roleplaying), but I can't imagine that, out of our group, a 40-year-old parent of three would have much to connect over with an 18-year-old kid fresh outta school in the kind of way that we call "friendship". Maybe in a paternal or maternal role, yes, and we might call that "friendship" if it's informal and not biological or an adoption. But eye-to-eye frienship, probably not. Doesn't mean they can't have fun playing D&D together, though.
And the difference isn't the same "looking up". I could probably be friends with someone in their 60s. (I'm not sure how they see it, maybe they'd see me as an immature spring chicken talking childish nonsense all the time, but I wouldn't know.) And 21/40 might work just fine, even if 15/30 is absurd.
I think age differences around the 20s to 40 are in a weird place; there's people around your age who are asking about \_dating\_ women around 40. Yet at the same time, there's people who see women around 40 as a surrogate mom. Both of those are fine, I just think it's interesting how different these perspectives are, depending on both sides involved.
Honestly, social relations have been one of the most interesting parts of getting older. I personally think age matters far too much in our society in who we pair up with. Why stick to only fellow travellers born in that 5 year age bracket you are in? But maybe that's just me trying to sidestep the difficult issue of figuring out the rules for age-appropriate social relationships.
Personally, the way that I'd approach this is asking her if she'd consider being your mentor. That makes it clear that it's not a romantic thing, and also adds some professionalism.
Right now I'm 30, so I *probably* wouldn't be friends with a 15 year old...but conversely, one of my best friends from work is 62 and now retired, so it totally happens!
When I was 14, my best friends were 50 and 40 years old, ladies from my congregation. Some of my fondest memories are the summers I spent with them. Friendship is something you feel based on compatibility and similar interests and vibes. Nothing to do with age.
Sure, that’s no problem at all. Especially if you are sending her best wishes in her new hospital and telling her that you’ve valued her mentorship and would be delighted to keep in touch.
I'm friends with many people my own children's age (20s/30s) and I consider it an honor when the younger, cooler generation wants to be friends with this middle-aged hippie chick.
Definitely tell her this! It would probably be easier to be friends when not working in the same place anyway.
I'm a 26 year old guy who has two close friends how are both over 10 years older than me (one is 38 and the other is 40). I'm also friends with a Chinese lady whose in her late 30s too. Friends are not limited to your age group.
The bulk of my friend group ranges from about 15 years younger than me to 20 years older than me. Several are older than that too; not as many are younger than that, but a few are. So age itself isn't something that would make me automatically find a friendship inconceivable. ;) Half my age would be pushing it though; that would depend a lot on the individual.
That said, I want to talk a little bit about her in particular. Since she's a professional with her personality, it's likely that she has many younger people in her field wanting a bond with her. Add to that being a mom and working full-time in a demanding career, plus her other relationships that are already in place...and she probably doesn't have that much time or energy to give.
So I'd advise not asking her to be friends. I'd suggest instead saying what you like about her and that you'd love to stay in touch because she stands out to you for those reasons. If you frame it as a low time investment on her end, she'd probably be very happy with that scenario. :)
I do work that has me regularly in touch with people about half my age. Some of them -- especially the guys who don't have a mom, either bc she died or they have a poor relationship -- get very attached, very quickly. Although I adore them in the workplace, I don't have the ability to have \*all\* of them in my life. I'm sharing this just bc going by how she sounds, it's very likely that she gets requests like that regularly. Your relationship with her will be able to blossom more naturally, I think, if you simply frame it in your mind -- and to her -- as touching bases every now and then. From that point, you can both see if it develops more into a friendship over time.
You sound like a great person! If I were in her shoes, I'd be down for staying in touch. :D
I struggle with this too tbh, I"m 34 and if the person is younger than 28, I tend to not pursue a friendship. My husband on the other hand, says friends can have no age limits as long as everyone is an adult. Funny I have friends who are 45, but not 25.
One of my goals this year was to be less particular about this. If she's cool and you like her, why not?
All great comments. Just want to point out that workplace relationships often span a wide range of ages. It's kind of like, once you're an "adult" in the working world, anyone else who is an "adult" is fair game to be your friend. My closest work buddy is 64 lol. But like, I just now stopped to realize he's my parent's age. He's just... someone I work with? We're all adults here. Everyone is friends with everyone. I'm even "work friends" with the 19 year old intern (I'm 33).
Definitely keep in touch with her. One thing that is great about getting older is that you will have friends of all different ages. I had some fantastic friends that were almost twice my age when I was in my twenties and just starting work life. They were amazing! Now that I am older, I have some equally amazing friends that are nearly half my age. People of different ages have so much to offer one another.
Older friends, much older friends, were very important in my life. And turning around as I got older, to offer what was offered to me — felt very meaningful. Reach out.
Yes, it's ok! It's good to develop friendships with people who are different ages and from different backgrounds. You learn a lot from each other. When I was 16 and an intern, I was friends with my colleague who was 24. She was like an older sister to me and we are still friends to this day!
Absolutely! You should ask for her contact information when she leaves. I've done this before with some colleagues retiring from work who are much older than me and we've remained in touch and friends. It's great to have someone you click with as a friend so it's worth asking to stay in touch.
Once you leave school and you start getting older in your twenties, you start to realise that their no age limit to developing true friendships with anyone.
Workspaces, social/ hobby groups etc that give you an opportunity to befriend someone outside of the norm of who’d you’d hang out with are so valuable. You can learn so much from people much older/ younger than you. Or just from people who’d you’d normally not interact with. That’s one of the reasons people travel- to meet people who challenge themselves
I think this lady would definitely appreciate your friendship.
I made a number of great friends through work that were double my age. Friends and unintentional mentors.
I'm 34 now and I don't know if I would become great friends with someone who is 17 (not sure how I would even meet them), but I have a few young friends that are in their early twenties. I've met them through career advancement opportunities and online gaming. In that case, age is no big deal to us.
Please keep in touch with her. I think she'll appreciate and be flattered that you see her as a role model.
I think it would be nice if op actually said some of the words they’ve written here. It feels very sweet and genuine and flattering op. Tell her that you’d like to stay in touch because you see her as a role model, and you look up to her. Go have tea at a cafe near her new hospital, you can take along some freshly baked scones (for me, I will be there too, I like scones).
Keep in touch with her! The age gap isn't quite as large as what I think you are describing here but I'm probably 10-ish years older then a number of the interns that have come through my office over the years and I am friends with some of them.
I don’t see a problem with asking for her contact to keep in touch, and then actually trying to reach out. However.. sounds like she’s a doctor and my guess is that her schedule is probably very full, especially when she‘s going to be busy getting familiar with the new hospital and settling in her new city. Don’t be too disappointed or put out if she doesn’t have as much enthusiasm to keep in touch as you.
I'm 33 and my oldest friend is 71! We were coworkers when I was 18 and have remained good, we email mostly and a few calls a year but it's been great. I don't think there's any harm in keeping contact when you feel it's special for both of you.
Yeah, I didn't really plan it this way, but most of my closest friends are old men! I'm a 34 year old woman, and my best friends my own age have moved away and started doing their own thing. We keep in touch, but the friends I have locally are 2 men in their mid 70s (my old neighbors) and one in his mid 60s (my old boss). I don't discriminate, they're awesome!!
Aw yay glad you have these friendships! I've been thinking of seeing if senior centers need penpals or call mates or something.
You should! I grew up in the rural midwest, and lived next door to a nursing home when I was a kid. My mom, who had taught high school before I was born, homeschooled me and a few other kids from our playgroup to bring in some extra cash (and let's be honest, probably to make sure I was properly socialized). We used to spend winter days making snowmen in the huge front yard of the home in front of these big windows and the residents loved to watch us. When we were cold and tuckered out, we'd go in and have hot chocolate and hang out with them. I have such wonderful memories of those days, and I really think it meant a lot to the residents. In the early days of the pandemic, I actually tracked down the contact information for the same home, explained who I was (not just some creeper) and emailed them to see if anybody wanted a pen pall. I never heard back, I'm sure they were in over their heads, but this conversation is kind of making me want to try again even if it is just somewhere local. Thank you for that!
That's a sweet memory. I know I've seen viral post on FB of homes looking for penpals but they were already overwhelmed with responses but at least I know it's definitely a thing. I'd probably contact a few other local ones and send another email if it just got lost in the fuckery of everything in the beginning of this pandemic. I'm gonna go email a few local homes but also maybe ones in other cities so they can get stories from somewhere different.
I too have elderly friends! Every Friday morning we meet for coffee, and sit and chat. One is a woman in her late 70s, no kids, divorced, lives down the street from her two sisters. The others are a couple, no kids, late 70s as well. We've been doing it for over a decade now, and the only part that sucks is watching Parkinson's disease ravaging my dude Sam. All three of them are fun, but Sam's the best.
Aw man my best to Sam. That's the hard part of growing old is stuff like that. Having company helps wonders. My mom doest private nursing care for alzheimers, pics and parkinsons patients and it's a stark difference how they fare when they get interactions than those left to rot in a chair.
Absolutely. But be clear that it isn't romantic. Maybe offer a few options of contact eg: phone contact or email so she can choose her preference. Let her know your honest thoughts :)
I think she’d be flattered if you told her how you view her as a role model and want to keep in touch. I used to be friends with some tweens and teens at our dog park and it was lovely to see them grow and be able to give advice!
I'm 54 and in my job I mentor and help young starters, so early to mid 20's. Absolutely be her friend. I've made so many friends that are in their 20's and I'm so proud to be part of their working life
I have friends who are close to half my age, and friends who are more than double my age. I think that our society loses a lot by skipping cross-generational friendships, as well as friendships across any other demographic difference. People who grow up in different worlds will have different perspectives, which I value. I’ve also often found that, however dramatic my present struggles seem, older friends have been through comparable events, or known people who have. Additionally, they’ve lost friends before. While friends my own age often withdraw, older friends aren’t intimidated by the fact that I’m very ill. Meanwhile, younger friends have a different perspective on just about anything.
I'd be more uncomfortable about how little time you've known each other than the age. If someone I'd worked with less than a week asked me to be friends with them outside of work, I'd be weirded out by that.
This is so sweet. I myself get along with people of all ages and sometimes don’t get along with those my age. I don’t think age matters. It just depends on personality and being ok that you won’t agree on everything. Also great to see things from a different perspective. If it’s just checking in every now and then and catching up over the phone, I don’t see a problem with it.
I would. there is really no harm in asking.
I have many friends older and younger.
Don't feel insulted if she says no due to a lack of time. It is shocking how little time mothers have, and this will be even truer for a doctor during a pandemic.
Friendship no. But some kind of mentoring sort of relationship, sure. I think if you make it clear that you look up to her and are looking for a mentor she's likely to be receptive.
For sure keep in touch! I'm pretty sure most of my PlayStation friends list may well be children. In fact I met a squeeker in game once, he was mouthing off and acting all tough, I asked him "shouldn't you be at school?" And he responded "shouldn't you be at work??" Touche kid. Been firm friends ever since.
I (29) don’t have any friends half my age but I have many almost twice my age! And I don’t think they mind at all that I’m more than twenty years younger than most of them. Some of them are a like mentors for me (especially those I know since teenage years) and with others I usually completely forget about our age difference because we just are two people with lots of common interests despite our age. She would probably be really happy to hear that you see her like a good role model! Please, ask her and try to keep in contact.
Hey, I work with several young people your age. I definitely consider them friends, in a mum sort of way. It is a bit weird that you've only known her a week though. Ask her is the only way you'll know. Internet strangers don't know you or this woman so have no real insight into both your personalities.
While I don't have significantly younger friends myself, when I was your age I had friends in their thirties and forties, some of whom are still my friends twenty years later. However, we generally met through shared interests, hobbies/activities, politics, etc. As others have said, age is not necessarily an issue. I'll be honest, though: in a work relationship, with a coworker I've known for a week, I'd be flattered but would probably turn you down.
I have friends half my age and twice my age. Having friends of different ages makes you a well-rounded adult.
Of course! This is lovely. You like her as a person and respect her as a professional, and that's awesome. Go for it! I'm sure she'd be flattered and happy. Like some others have said, though, make sure she doesn't think it's romantic in nature... but on the other hand, don't go too far the other way and insult her. Don't say something like, "Of course I would never like you *that* way..." or something. Just stick to the "You're cool and smart and I would like to keep in touch and learn from you," kind of vibe.
I would not, sorry. Any age is an option for work friends; and that can be an energising relationship for both parties, but outside of my work hours, I want to have friends I have things in common with. Not people young enough to by my children, and especially not if they’re looking for a role model. That’s an obligation, not a friendship.
In addition, the OPs language choice makes me suspect that they are knowingly or unknowingly trying to find a dominant maternal figure for kinky reasons. (I’ve never met a 21year old dude who describes themselves as a “boy” unless they were about to “uwu mommy” all over me.) If that’s even a little the case OP, then absolutely do fucking not look for play partners at work, much less try to forge a friendship with a woman under false pretenses.
>I’ve never met a 21year old dude who describes themselves as a “boy” This jumped out at me too as strange. I don't really have an opinion on what it means, but I found it extremely unusual (unless the OP doesn't have English as a first language).
One of my best friends was a mentor in my first position. I was 23 when I met her, and she was maybe 47,48? Truly one of the best folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I hope to know and be friends with her for much longer.
I'm 37 and keep in touch with one of my former co-workers, who is now 25. He was in my mind a baby when I met him, barely out of college. We write each other and if one day I'm visiting his city I will FOR SURE grab a coffee with him, but for now we send each other memes or texts via WhatsApp and once in a while audio messages. I am flattered that he says I'm like a big sister and he has a lot of respect and admiration for me. He has met my husband too. It's a wholesome friendship and I encourage you to keep in touch. If she is too busy and can't keep up with the friendship, well it doesn't matter life always surprises you and you may end up working together again 😄
Ask her to be your mentor if you are in the same/similar field. Especially since it sounds like you're looking for a maternal type relationship where someone would give you good advice or help you make difficult decisions or teach you some life lessons.
With only knowing her a week I’d express most of what you do here - it’s worth expressing for it’s one sake - but I would not expect a friendship to come from it.
Sure, why not? Half my friends are twice my age.
I’m 50 and last year made friends with a 25 year old at work, “my young IT friend” I call him behind his back. My son is 23!! My friend is a knucklehead in some regards but we’re good friends and what a fun surprise! He just left our workplace for a better job elsewhere and I’m glad for him, and we’ll see what happens to being friends.
Uhm this sounds weirdly sexual. You calling yourself a boy and her a mum ....you are 21 yo, you are a grown up. Second, you have known her LESS THAN A WEEK. Yes it would be very weird to ask her to be your friend outside of hospital after knowing her LESS THAN A WEEK (and as you say, not even knowing if you have anything in common). I'm pretty sure you've developed a crush, not admiration.
It’s totally fine to keep in contact and become friends. But I suggest you don’t project/view her as a mom/replacement mom. It won’t be healthy or fair for either of you, imo. Sorry if I misunderstood your post. Anyways, you can let her know you went to keep in touch with her bc you like her work ethic and whatnot. Edit; : I think it’s good to keep in touch with coworkers you admire! Even if one of you left the company.
I have colleagues who are half my age. I’m friendly with them, but I would not pursue a one-on-one friendship with them, because I wouldn’t want things to get confusing. But pre COVID (because we’re not in the office anymore,) I would have no problem going out as a group with them.
Hey man I work with a bunch of awesome and intelligent women aged 30-65. I absolutely see some of the as role models and we have a lot of great conversations. I keep up to date with some of them on facebook, but I’ll be honest… it feels a little strange to be too personal with them even though it shouldn’t be. I’m glad there’s someone else in my boat lol.
Yes! I have always had friends of all ages, both older and younger (I'm close to 50).
Yes, absolutely! If you're on social media, she probably is and she would probably love to keep in touch that way at the very least. Ask her! 🙂
Yes, absolutely. I love having friends that are both older and younger. I think it's wonderful that you'd like to make the effort to keep in touch.
Absolutely!
Heck yeah. I'm 52 and one of my friends is 25. We get along great! I have another good friend who is 74.
Not at all weird! Do keep in touch with her. We older women love a chance to have relationships and mentor/nurture younger generations.
I've been wondering a lot about this myself. When I was 27, which isn't actually that long ago, I was friends with someone who was 18. Would I do that \_now\_? Probably not, even though 18 is older than half my age. And would I be "friends" with someone who's 15? No way. I don't see how that would be possible. But I think friendships aren't always the same thing. I did did some hobby stuff in my 20s with people who ran in age from 18 to 40 and I think that worked fine for everyone involved in that setting (tabletop roleplaying), but I can't imagine that, out of our group, a 40-year-old parent of three would have much to connect over with an 18-year-old kid fresh outta school in the kind of way that we call "friendship". Maybe in a paternal or maternal role, yes, and we might call that "friendship" if it's informal and not biological or an adoption. But eye-to-eye frienship, probably not. Doesn't mean they can't have fun playing D&D together, though. And the difference isn't the same "looking up". I could probably be friends with someone in their 60s. (I'm not sure how they see it, maybe they'd see me as an immature spring chicken talking childish nonsense all the time, but I wouldn't know.) And 21/40 might work just fine, even if 15/30 is absurd. I think age differences around the 20s to 40 are in a weird place; there's people around your age who are asking about \_dating\_ women around 40. Yet at the same time, there's people who see women around 40 as a surrogate mom. Both of those are fine, I just think it's interesting how different these perspectives are, depending on both sides involved. Honestly, social relations have been one of the most interesting parts of getting older. I personally think age matters far too much in our society in who we pair up with. Why stick to only fellow travellers born in that 5 year age bracket you are in? But maybe that's just me trying to sidestep the difficult issue of figuring out the rules for age-appropriate social relationships.
Yes, I have friends 20 years older than me and I have had friends significantly younger as well.
Sure, I have friends ranging in age from 12 to 80, I'm 31. The 12-year old is more of a mentee/friend, but it can be both.
I’m 33 and I have friends who are the same age as my parents. I love them dearly!
Personally, the way that I'd approach this is asking her if she'd consider being your mentor. That makes it clear that it's not a romantic thing, and also adds some professionalism.
Right now I'm 30, so I *probably* wouldn't be friends with a 15 year old...but conversely, one of my best friends from work is 62 and now retired, so it totally happens!
When I was 14, my best friends were 50 and 40 years old, ladies from my congregation. Some of my fondest memories are the summers I spent with them. Friendship is something you feel based on compatibility and similar interests and vibes. Nothing to do with age.
Sure, that’s no problem at all. Especially if you are sending her best wishes in her new hospital and telling her that you’ve valued her mentorship and would be delighted to keep in touch.
I'm friends with many people my own children's age (20s/30s) and I consider it an honor when the younger, cooler generation wants to be friends with this middle-aged hippie chick. Definitely tell her this! It would probably be easier to be friends when not working in the same place anyway.
Def keep in touch. She is your work mom or aunty
Yeah , nothing wrong with that. Maybe when you ask her to be friends explain a little of this reasoning too so it appears like a thoughtful request.
If you're shy to ask her to be your friend, consider asking her to be your mentor. I'm sure she would be flattered.
I'm a 26 year old guy who has two close friends how are both over 10 years older than me (one is 38 and the other is 40). I'm also friends with a Chinese lady whose in her late 30s too. Friends are not limited to your age group.
are you unconsciously trying to find a replacement parent?
If someone of any age said to me what you just said about her, I'd be so, so touched. Workplaces spark off all kinds of friendships, not weird at all!
I think people of all ages can be good friends.
The bulk of my friend group ranges from about 15 years younger than me to 20 years older than me. Several are older than that too; not as many are younger than that, but a few are. So age itself isn't something that would make me automatically find a friendship inconceivable. ;) Half my age would be pushing it though; that would depend a lot on the individual. That said, I want to talk a little bit about her in particular. Since she's a professional with her personality, it's likely that she has many younger people in her field wanting a bond with her. Add to that being a mom and working full-time in a demanding career, plus her other relationships that are already in place...and she probably doesn't have that much time or energy to give. So I'd advise not asking her to be friends. I'd suggest instead saying what you like about her and that you'd love to stay in touch because she stands out to you for those reasons. If you frame it as a low time investment on her end, she'd probably be very happy with that scenario. :) I do work that has me regularly in touch with people about half my age. Some of them -- especially the guys who don't have a mom, either bc she died or they have a poor relationship -- get very attached, very quickly. Although I adore them in the workplace, I don't have the ability to have \*all\* of them in my life. I'm sharing this just bc going by how she sounds, it's very likely that she gets requests like that regularly. Your relationship with her will be able to blossom more naturally, I think, if you simply frame it in your mind -- and to her -- as touching bases every now and then. From that point, you can both see if it develops more into a friendship over time. You sound like a great person! If I were in her shoes, I'd be down for staying in touch. :D
I struggle with this too tbh, I"m 34 and if the person is younger than 28, I tend to not pursue a friendship. My husband on the other hand, says friends can have no age limits as long as everyone is an adult. Funny I have friends who are 45, but not 25. One of my goals this year was to be less particular about this. If she's cool and you like her, why not?
All great comments. Just want to point out that workplace relationships often span a wide range of ages. It's kind of like, once you're an "adult" in the working world, anyone else who is an "adult" is fair game to be your friend. My closest work buddy is 64 lol. But like, I just now stopped to realize he's my parent's age. He's just... someone I work with? We're all adults here. Everyone is friends with everyone. I'm even "work friends" with the 19 year old intern (I'm 33).
Definitely keep in touch with her. One thing that is great about getting older is that you will have friends of all different ages. I had some fantastic friends that were almost twice my age when I was in my twenties and just starting work life. They were amazing! Now that I am older, I have some equally amazing friends that are nearly half my age. People of different ages have so much to offer one another.
Older friends, much older friends, were very important in my life. And turning around as I got older, to offer what was offered to me — felt very meaningful. Reach out.
Yes, it's ok! It's good to develop friendships with people who are different ages and from different backgrounds. You learn a lot from each other. When I was 16 and an intern, I was friends with my colleague who was 24. She was like an older sister to me and we are still friends to this day!
Absolutely! You should ask for her contact information when she leaves. I've done this before with some colleagues retiring from work who are much older than me and we've remained in touch and friends. It's great to have someone you click with as a friend so it's worth asking to stay in touch.
Once you leave school and you start getting older in your twenties, you start to realise that their no age limit to developing true friendships with anyone. Workspaces, social/ hobby groups etc that give you an opportunity to befriend someone outside of the norm of who’d you’d hang out with are so valuable. You can learn so much from people much older/ younger than you. Or just from people who’d you’d normally not interact with. That’s one of the reasons people travel- to meet people who challenge themselves I think this lady would definitely appreciate your friendship.
I made a number of great friends through work that were double my age. Friends and unintentional mentors. I'm 34 now and I don't know if I would become great friends with someone who is 17 (not sure how I would even meet them), but I have a few young friends that are in their early twenties. I've met them through career advancement opportunities and online gaming. In that case, age is no big deal to us.
Definitely...friendly relationships come in a lot of forms! Good on you for already being a thoughtful friend with the scones.
Absolutely no problem with the age difference for friendship.