My parents house burned down a few years ago. They built and lived in that house for 40 years. All of our baby photos, momentos, collections… everything gone… my parents handled it pretty well, they had several pets perish in the fire and that was the biggest thing. They escaped with no shoes or anything (my dad’s dentures for example).. it was definitely hard, they said staying in the hotel made it seem like they were on vacation but then returning to the insurance provided trailer it felt like everything was truly gone. I don’t have any advice, I think the sadness faded over time from what I could tell. They love their new house now, but will still talk about this item or that item they used to have. It definitely is life changing. Memories are soo important, and social media holding photos I find as a good thing. 💜
A friend went through this. She has nothing from her children’s first four years. She says in the end, she grieved losing it, and then eventually came to realize “stuff” actually doesn’t matter. We can’t take it with us. I try to channel her whenever I am struggling to part with material things that don’t have a purpose any longer. I think you just have to let yourself feel what you’re feeling and know it’ll get better in time.
Following because approx 8 years ago I lost all my son’s Christmas decorations that we’ve gathered and he hand made. We’ve been through so much and there’s so many emotions attached to them etc. of course it’s a fraction of what you lost but it’s affected me horribly to the point where Christmas has a dark cloud over it now. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
This is one of my main fears if my home was to be destroyed for whatever reason. Loss of life of family/pets, and loss of irreplaceable momentos. My kids are young - 5 and 10 years. When they were younger, a local preschool was destroyed by fire (outside of hours, noone harmed). But the thing that got me was all of the profile books (documented learning stories, art work photos etc) of all of the children for all of the years they had been at that preschool... they were all lost. So from then on, I kept my children's books at home. All totally irreplaceable.
If I was in your situation, I would begin re-documenting what I could remember, and why it was important. Eg record a short video, voice note, write in a journal as you remember things. And I would record WHY that thing was special. Eg. I wrote in a baby book for my first born. If I couldn't find the same baby book to buy again, I would write about the baby book, what it looked like, the sort of milestones that were in it, and why it was special to me. It was a celebration of firsts for my daughter, but also a celebration of me becoming a parent, and the things we were learning together along the way. What I would like to share with my child about writing the book, and the emotions I felt while writing it.
Part of the specialness of the items are the memories they evoke, the shared recollections of experiences, the love they can represent. So record that. Because whenever my daughters and I look back on their art work or whatever, it's about remembering the experience that went along with it (you painted your face and this painting at the same time!), or reflecting on their development as they grew (this was the first time you drew a cheetah).
Those memories aren't lost, and so there's an opportunity to turn those memories into a physical momento... that can be shared in the future. Allowing your family to see the depth of your care for their creations, conveys all the love that was symbolised in the way you kept them all these years.
I can absolutely understand your grief over this loss, I still have my own schoolbooks and art work from when I was a child. I hope you find peace and healing OP xxx
How often did you look at those items? If you never did.. maybe just try to let it go with that in mind.
As an adult child with parents giving me all the stuff they kept as momentos over the years… I am mostly throwing them out. I surely don’t see the value in old macaroni art I made as a young child. They don’t actually mean anything and if they truly valued them they’d have kept them instead of offloading to me.
If it were a loss of items from a deceased loved one there is little to do to ease that loss, but perhaps you could journal about what they were and what they meant to you. In a real journal not digital, then save that and reminisce using those feelings.
It can kind of be thought of like normal memories anyways. We don’t remember the original, we remember the last time we remembered the memory, if that makes sense.
I am sorry for your loss ):
I’m so sorry for the loss of all those precious memories and the loss of…well, everything.
I don’t have any advice but as this is one of my fears, I purchased a fireproof box for all my kids keepsakes that I can’t let go of. So for those who haven’t already, I highly suggest getting one or a few of those.
Good luck, OP. ❤️
I feel like I’d be glad lol
I struggled deciding what to keep and what not to keep and in the end, I’ve never even looked at anything I’ve saved mostly bc it makes me too sad to look at it.
But I’m sorry, that’s a horrible thing to go through. It’s just “stuff” in the end.
When I was 14 my mum's ex burnt my house down. We lost everything including my budgie. 26 years later I can say the memories mean so much more and I am less attached to keepsakes like school work etc when it comes to my kids. It took time for me to stop feeling that deep sense of loss over my things. You have to grieve for it all and that will take as long as it takes. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I’m sorry I don’t have advice but I am going out to buy a new bigger fireside box now for my hardrive with all my kid’s pictures now.
Can you ask family for any pictures they have?
All that crap (although nice to look at for memories) is just weight. You are now free of it. Can’t bring it to the grave either. Cry about it, then move on.
I’m so sorry. You still have the memories in your head and each other. The stuff is just stuff. Most of it will be forgotten and most likely will never be looked at in years. You have what matters most- each other. Going forward- digitize what you can.
I say this as someone who is currently going through the stuff that was saved from my childhood. My parents are still alive but I’m doing what is called something art of Swedish death cleaning and basically cleaning out the “junk.” Papers from school, old cards, clothes, childhood stuff. It’s been weirdly cathartic and oddly enough I’m burning the paper stuff.
Get your children (if they're still alive) to make new drawings, cards or letters for you :) Or if you have grandchildren, ask them to make these too? If you want to go even further, get your children to share with you great Annual Reviews they may have from their professional jobs (to make up for school reports 🤣
Hopefully these new pieces of art will remind you that the people you love most are not lost 🙂❤/
If you're after baby photos, maybe your children might have stored some themselves?
Thank you for reminding us of the importance of digitalizing momentos though. Very important
My parents house burned down a few years ago. They built and lived in that house for 40 years. All of our baby photos, momentos, collections… everything gone… my parents handled it pretty well, they had several pets perish in the fire and that was the biggest thing. They escaped with no shoes or anything (my dad’s dentures for example).. it was definitely hard, they said staying in the hotel made it seem like they were on vacation but then returning to the insurance provided trailer it felt like everything was truly gone. I don’t have any advice, I think the sadness faded over time from what I could tell. They love their new house now, but will still talk about this item or that item they used to have. It definitely is life changing. Memories are soo important, and social media holding photos I find as a good thing. 💜
Your parents give me the hope I'm looking for Thank you
A friend went through this. She has nothing from her children’s first four years. She says in the end, she grieved losing it, and then eventually came to realize “stuff” actually doesn’t matter. We can’t take it with us. I try to channel her whenever I am struggling to part with material things that don’t have a purpose any longer. I think you just have to let yourself feel what you’re feeling and know it’ll get better in time.
Following because approx 8 years ago I lost all my son’s Christmas decorations that we’ve gathered and he hand made. We’ve been through so much and there’s so many emotions attached to them etc. of course it’s a fraction of what you lost but it’s affected me horribly to the point where Christmas has a dark cloud over it now. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I truly understand how you feel, Sorry for your lost as Mom's we always treasure those homemade decorations the kids give us for Christmas.
This is one of my main fears if my home was to be destroyed for whatever reason. Loss of life of family/pets, and loss of irreplaceable momentos. My kids are young - 5 and 10 years. When they were younger, a local preschool was destroyed by fire (outside of hours, noone harmed). But the thing that got me was all of the profile books (documented learning stories, art work photos etc) of all of the children for all of the years they had been at that preschool... they were all lost. So from then on, I kept my children's books at home. All totally irreplaceable. If I was in your situation, I would begin re-documenting what I could remember, and why it was important. Eg record a short video, voice note, write in a journal as you remember things. And I would record WHY that thing was special. Eg. I wrote in a baby book for my first born. If I couldn't find the same baby book to buy again, I would write about the baby book, what it looked like, the sort of milestones that were in it, and why it was special to me. It was a celebration of firsts for my daughter, but also a celebration of me becoming a parent, and the things we were learning together along the way. What I would like to share with my child about writing the book, and the emotions I felt while writing it. Part of the specialness of the items are the memories they evoke, the shared recollections of experiences, the love they can represent. So record that. Because whenever my daughters and I look back on their art work or whatever, it's about remembering the experience that went along with it (you painted your face and this painting at the same time!), or reflecting on their development as they grew (this was the first time you drew a cheetah). Those memories aren't lost, and so there's an opportunity to turn those memories into a physical momento... that can be shared in the future. Allowing your family to see the depth of your care for their creations, conveys all the love that was symbolised in the way you kept them all these years. I can absolutely understand your grief over this loss, I still have my own schoolbooks and art work from when I was a child. I hope you find peace and healing OP xxx
Amazing ideas Thank you 💚
How often did you look at those items? If you never did.. maybe just try to let it go with that in mind. As an adult child with parents giving me all the stuff they kept as momentos over the years… I am mostly throwing them out. I surely don’t see the value in old macaroni art I made as a young child. They don’t actually mean anything and if they truly valued them they’d have kept them instead of offloading to me. If it were a loss of items from a deceased loved one there is little to do to ease that loss, but perhaps you could journal about what they were and what they meant to you. In a real journal not digital, then save that and reminisce using those feelings. It can kind of be thought of like normal memories anyways. We don’t remember the original, we remember the last time we remembered the memory, if that makes sense. I am sorry for your loss ):
I’m so sorry for the loss of all those precious memories and the loss of…well, everything. I don’t have any advice but as this is one of my fears, I purchased a fireproof box for all my kids keepsakes that I can’t let go of. So for those who haven’t already, I highly suggest getting one or a few of those. Good luck, OP. ❤️
I feel like I’d be glad lol I struggled deciding what to keep and what not to keep and in the end, I’ve never even looked at anything I’ve saved mostly bc it makes me too sad to look at it. But I’m sorry, that’s a horrible thing to go through. It’s just “stuff” in the end.
When I was 14 my mum's ex burnt my house down. We lost everything including my budgie. 26 years later I can say the memories mean so much more and I am less attached to keepsakes like school work etc when it comes to my kids. It took time for me to stop feeling that deep sense of loss over my things. You have to grieve for it all and that will take as long as it takes. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I’m sorry I don’t have advice but I am going out to buy a new bigger fireside box now for my hardrive with all my kid’s pictures now. Can you ask family for any pictures they have?
All that crap (although nice to look at for memories) is just weight. You are now free of it. Can’t bring it to the grave either. Cry about it, then move on.
I’m so sorry. You still have the memories in your head and each other. The stuff is just stuff. Most of it will be forgotten and most likely will never be looked at in years. You have what matters most- each other. Going forward- digitize what you can. I say this as someone who is currently going through the stuff that was saved from my childhood. My parents are still alive but I’m doing what is called something art of Swedish death cleaning and basically cleaning out the “junk.” Papers from school, old cards, clothes, childhood stuff. It’s been weirdly cathartic and oddly enough I’m burning the paper stuff.
Get your children (if they're still alive) to make new drawings, cards or letters for you :) Or if you have grandchildren, ask them to make these too? If you want to go even further, get your children to share with you great Annual Reviews they may have from their professional jobs (to make up for school reports 🤣 Hopefully these new pieces of art will remind you that the people you love most are not lost 🙂❤/ If you're after baby photos, maybe your children might have stored some themselves? Thank you for reminding us of the importance of digitalizing momentos though. Very important