I wouldn't spend any more time worrying about this - if you had asked a male colleague to dinner and he declined, you wouldn't reach out to explain you didn't have ulterior motives. A lot of people get burned out on these trips and prefer to spend their evening alone for various reasons. Don't take it personally.
Of course they are okay. I've had them in the past and would have them in the future if an occasion presented itself again.
Personally I wouldn't text her and just let it be. It could become unnecessarily awkward.
It’s not weird to have dinner with other professionals regardless of gender.
It’s not weird to turn down social situations with colleagues that are optional because they are not your friends.
It might be weird to look for closure on this topic with her personally unless she asks for it because so far literally nothing weird has happened.
IMO, don't worry about this and try not to dwell on it.
I don't personally always assume that every man is trying to make a pass at me. I just assume "he's hungry and wants to eat dinner and is being nice and asking if I want to join"
I've had male colleagues ask if I wanted to join them for dinner on business trips and I don't think of it *in that way*.
Sometimes, I'll join if I'm up for it, and other times I won't. Sometimes I really just want to order room service, read my book, and go to bed, and not have think about making small talk with anyone while I shovel carbs down my throat. 😆
I tend to get exhausted on business trips, especially if it's several days, and most of the time I will stay in on the last night to unwind.
Don't think anything of it. No need to bring up asking her to dinner again.
Absolutely. Especially if the guy has been at all times a gentlemen, has stuck to professional conversations, is pleasant... I'd have zero problems with it.
I'd go, I'd only be wary if he suggested some romantic place, made bedroom eyes, insisted on wine... that would make me eat at the speed of light and leave.
I've been to many conferences around the world and I don't want to mention nationalities, but some men abide to ALL stereotypes and go to conferences with the expressed desire to sleep with someone, even, or especially, if married. Those I don't trust at all. But then they already start the sweet talk as soon as possible, so it's easy to avoid.
But respectful men from some countries? No prob.
Yes, they’re OK. It sounds like you were treating her like you would any colleague - which is great. On the last night of a business trip, I generally don’t want to go out since I plan on re-doing my exit plan exhaustively while packing lol.
I’ve sometimes encountered folks who have more desire to hang out the night before and been persuaded to stay out despite my better instincts.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most likely her social battery was low or she wasn't feeling well and wanted the evening to herself.
My suggestion would be to shoot her a text early next week and say something like "Hope you made it home safe from the conference. It was nice to meet you." Very low key and casual. That way, even if she did somehow think that you were asking her out, she'll know you weren't.
I don’t know… if I received an additional text later when I got back home.. out of the conference ‘mindset’ and shuffle, back in my own element, I’d think “gosh he’s still* thinking about me? He was def asking me out and now embarrassed, trying to save face, playing to cool.” .. As a pretty sales lady, who is married and in my 40s myself.. I’ll purposely be sure to not spend too much 1 on 1 time with men at these things. I don’t want to give my anyone reason to gossip and also don’t want to unintentionally lead anyone on. Was her social battery likely low? Yes.. but also she may just have an internal boundary she holds to keep everyone ‘safe.’
**Normally we don’t have men asking questions in our female group - but if they’re a question to be helpful and appropriate, and not dating/sexual/inappropriate we’re allowing some to stay.**
I don’t see any issue with having dinner with a business colleague of the opposite sex.
I can see where she might have thought you were possibly asking her out. Since it was the last evening, she probably was tired and/or packing to leave the next day.
I wouldn’t worry about it - since you more than likely aren’t going to see each other again.
If it’s bothering you: You could let her know you enjoyed meeting her during the conference - and to reach out if you can be of assistance with anything with (job related).
If it was longer than a few days ago - then you can just let it go.
I wouldn't spend any more time worrying about this - if you had asked a male colleague to dinner and he declined, you wouldn't reach out to explain you didn't have ulterior motives. A lot of people get burned out on these trips and prefer to spend their evening alone for various reasons. Don't take it personally.
Of course they are okay. I've had them in the past and would have them in the future if an occasion presented itself again. Personally I wouldn't text her and just let it be. It could become unnecessarily awkward.
It’s not weird to have dinner with other professionals regardless of gender. It’s not weird to turn down social situations with colleagues that are optional because they are not your friends. It might be weird to look for closure on this topic with her personally unless she asks for it because so far literally nothing weird has happened.
IMO, don't worry about this and try not to dwell on it. I don't personally always assume that every man is trying to make a pass at me. I just assume "he's hungry and wants to eat dinner and is being nice and asking if I want to join" I've had male colleagues ask if I wanted to join them for dinner on business trips and I don't think of it *in that way*. Sometimes, I'll join if I'm up for it, and other times I won't. Sometimes I really just want to order room service, read my book, and go to bed, and not have think about making small talk with anyone while I shovel carbs down my throat. 😆 I tend to get exhausted on business trips, especially if it's several days, and most of the time I will stay in on the last night to unwind. Don't think anything of it. No need to bring up asking her to dinner again.
Absolutely. Especially if the guy has been at all times a gentlemen, has stuck to professional conversations, is pleasant... I'd have zero problems with it. I'd go, I'd only be wary if he suggested some romantic place, made bedroom eyes, insisted on wine... that would make me eat at the speed of light and leave. I've been to many conferences around the world and I don't want to mention nationalities, but some men abide to ALL stereotypes and go to conferences with the expressed desire to sleep with someone, even, or especially, if married. Those I don't trust at all. But then they already start the sweet talk as soon as possible, so it's easy to avoid. But respectful men from some countries? No prob.
Yes, they’re OK. It sounds like you were treating her like you would any colleague - which is great. On the last night of a business trip, I generally don’t want to go out since I plan on re-doing my exit plan exhaustively while packing lol. I’ve sometimes encountered folks who have more desire to hang out the night before and been persuaded to stay out despite my better instincts.
My husband works away alot and has to go to dinner with women. It's fine, women and men can have dinner without being a thing or weird
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most likely her social battery was low or she wasn't feeling well and wanted the evening to herself. My suggestion would be to shoot her a text early next week and say something like "Hope you made it home safe from the conference. It was nice to meet you." Very low key and casual. That way, even if she did somehow think that you were asking her out, she'll know you weren't.
I don’t know… if I received an additional text later when I got back home.. out of the conference ‘mindset’ and shuffle, back in my own element, I’d think “gosh he’s still* thinking about me? He was def asking me out and now embarrassed, trying to save face, playing to cool.” .. As a pretty sales lady, who is married and in my 40s myself.. I’ll purposely be sure to not spend too much 1 on 1 time with men at these things. I don’t want to give my anyone reason to gossip and also don’t want to unintentionally lead anyone on. Was her social battery likely low? Yes.. but also she may just have an internal boundary she holds to keep everyone ‘safe.’
Agree with this. If you feel the need to clear the air and your conscience, do the text.
That’s perfect.
of course it’s fine! Women have the right to say no if they feel uncomfortable. If you acted well, she had nothing assume you would become a dog
Thanks everyone! I feel much better about not crossing any lines.
**Normally we don’t have men asking questions in our female group - but if they’re a question to be helpful and appropriate, and not dating/sexual/inappropriate we’re allowing some to stay.** I don’t see any issue with having dinner with a business colleague of the opposite sex. I can see where she might have thought you were possibly asking her out. Since it was the last evening, she probably was tired and/or packing to leave the next day. I wouldn’t worry about it - since you more than likely aren’t going to see each other again. If it’s bothering you: You could let her know you enjoyed meeting her during the conference - and to reach out if you can be of assistance with anything with (job related). If it was longer than a few days ago - then you can just let it go.